Mt 12 23 2015 by Chava Communications

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Vol. 36 | Issue 11 | December 23, 2015

Group Publisher - Chris Keating Publisher - John Badanjek Associate Publisher - Jim Cohen Editor - Vince Grzegorek

Upfront

Metro times

Editorial

Framed.......................................... 12 Retail Detail: Lover’s Lane............ 16

Politics & Prejudices ................... 24

Party Guide.......................................34 Eat................................................ 50 Review: Mabel Gray Kitchen............ 50

Marketing and Events Director of New Media - Adam O’Connor

Pop-ups......................................... 64

Business/Operations

Music............................................ 74 Moondog....................................... 76 Kevin Ransom.............................. 84

DIA group celebrates 50 years.... 88

Horoscopes with Cal Garrison............................... 118

The Detroit Metro Times is published every week by Euclid Media Group

Savage Love................................. 98

Editorial - (313) 202-8022 Advertising - (313) 961-4060 Fax - (313) 964-4849

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Higher Ground ............................ 94

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On the cover: Photo by ekstudio, cover designed by Kristin Borden.

How to not blow it on NYE ........ 90

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Watch

Arts & Culture............................. 88

Chief Executive Officer – Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers – Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Chief Financial Officer – Brian Painley Human Resources Director – Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator – Jaime Monzon www.euclidmediagroup.com

On Sale Now.................................. 86

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Livewire........................................ 74

Circulation Manager - Annie O’Brien

Raise the Bar: US 12.................... 68

Graphic Designers - Kristin Borden, Paul Martinez, Christine Hahn, Haimanti Basu

Drink

Drink Up....................................... 66

Creative Services

Drink............................................ 66

Business Office Supervisor - Holly Rhodes

Eat

Best things we ate this year....... 58

Bites.............................................. 52

Regional Sales Directors - Vinny Fontana, Danielle Smith-Elliott Senior Multimedia Account Executive Paul Biondi, Jeff Nutter Multimedia Account Executives Drew Franklin, Eric Holka, Cierra Wood Classified Multimedia Account Executive Bill Rigley Advertising Assistant - Pashka Micakaj

What’s Going On

Advertising

Feature: New Year’s Eve

What’s Going On........................ 30

Big Story

News Hits..................................... 20

News & Views............................. 20

News

Feedback........................................ 8

Up Front........................................ 8

Managing Editor - Michael Jackman Associate Editor - Alysa Offman Music Editor - Mike McGonigal Dining Editor - Serena Maria Daniels Investigative Reporter - Allie Gross Web Editor - Alaina Nutile Contributing Editors - Larry Gabriel, Jack Lessenberry Staff Writer - Lee DeVito Copy Editor - Esther Gim Editorial Interns - Taylor Bembery, Laci Bills, Adam Woodhead Photography Interns - Sarah Rahal Contributors- Judy Adams, Brett Callwood, Kahn Santori Davison, Aaron Egan, Cornelius Fortune, Cal Garrison, Curt Guyette, Charles L. Latimer, Noelle Lothamer, Jim McFarlin, Jeff Milo, Marc Nader, Dan Savage, Miss Shela, Jane Slaughter, Doug Coombe, Tanya Moutzalias, Dontae Rockymore, Brian Rozman, Steve Sergent, Sean Bieri, Rob Widdis

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EUCLID MEDIA • Copyright - The entire contents of the Detroit Metro Times are copyright 2015 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Prior written permission must be granted to Metro Times for additional copies. Metro Times may be distributed only by Metro Times’ authorized distributors and independent contractors. Subscriptions are available by mail inside the U.S. for six months at $35/Third Class, $65/First Class. (Canadian subscriptions cost $75/ First Class for six months.) Include check or money order payable to - Metro Times Subscriptions, 1200 Woodward Heights, Ferndale, MI 48220-1427. (Please note - Third Class subscription copies are usually received 3-5 days after publication date in the Detroit area.) Most back issues obtainable for $5 at Metro Times offices or $7 prepaid by mail.

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December 23-29, 2015

U p Front

feedback

Horror-scopes Cal Garrison is the astrologist behind the immensely popular “Horoscopes” featured in Metro Times. Apparently, it’s tough out there for the modern astrologer, who is expected to not only divine the cosmos but also look fabulous doing it. Reader “R.K.” writes: Dear Metro Times, I read your horoscopes online every week and while I like them, the picture of the lady who writes them is very unappealing. I’m not saying she’s not a pretty woman, I’m just saying I wish you would put a different picture of her on there. It’s daunting, to be honest. First, what is she doing with her hand? And second, like I said, it’s daunting. This is just my opinion and I hope you don’t think rude of me but I read my horoscope every week and that picture is enough to stop me.

Au revoir, millennials! In a metrotimes.com blog post (“Michigan offers yet another reason for millennials to give it the kiss-off,” Dec. 17), Michael Jackman summarized some of the policies and conditions that have caused Michigan to hemmorage millenials for years. Lots of readers chimed in: Reader “Harry Palmer” writes: Never thought I would find anything to agree with Leon Drolet with, but yeah. I’ve known this for years. Millennials aren’t interested in a lifestyle that includes sprawling bedroom communities in the outer ‘burbs, everyone packing a concealed gun, and discrimination against minorities. This is what happens when your lawmakers are just doing the bidding of their corporate benefactors, instead of what their constituents are looking for. Reader “nobsartist” writes: Couldn’t have said it better, myself. I moved to MI from the south in the 90s in the hope of getting away from ignorant rednecks only to discover my mom’s home state is just as stodgy, narrowminded, and backward as Klantucky. Reader “truth hurst” writes: Wait — you mean that young people don’t want to make 9-11 bucks an hour working 50-60 hours a week with a degree in Michigan that a boomer does for 35-40k a year at 40 hours a week?

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Kids are so lazy these days! If only they had a golden economy that their parents built for them that they could destroy, they could make more and work less! Why would anyone want to leave that? (Sarcasm.) Reader “ruinporn” writes: The author missed the biggest reason why millennials are leaving the state — jobs. There was a survey that asked people who left Michigan why they left, and lack of employment opportunities was the biggest reason. A lot of them even stated that they would have stayed or consider coming back if the job climate (more opportunities, better salaries) was better. Why else are educated people flocking to southern states (e.g., Texas, North Carolina) that have more conservative laws than we do here? Living in a state with socially liberal policies and/or better climate is nice, but it doesn’t matter if you can’t make a decent living after spending tens of thousands of dollars for college.

Kash Doll kritics Our cover girl for our Dec. 16-23 issue was Kash Doll, the exotic dancerturned-rapper who could blow be poised to blow up in 2016. Some readers were less than impressed, however. Myla Strange-Nixon writes: She seriously sounds like the couple fighting in the line up at McDonald’s. Rob Seale writes: She’s no T-Baby.

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framed

21 Pilots @ St. Andrew’s Hall (J. Giampa)

House of Pure Vin Grand Opening (D. Rockymore)

Joanna Newsom @ Royal Oak Music Theatre (A. Simpson)

Christmas with Jo Caine @ Detroit Pub (J. Tavernier) n Luna

Kash Doll @ Collective Studios (T. Bemberry)

Kenny G @ Sound Board, MotorCity Casino (M. Ferdinande)

Mannheim Steamroller @ Fox Theatre (M. Ferdinande)

Classifieds

Culture

Arts

Watch

Music

Drink

Eat

What’s Going On

Big Story

News

Upfront

U p Front

V Nightclub (S. Spellman)

Clinton Sparks and Niykee Heaton @ Sabrage (S. Spellman)

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Toys 4 Tots Christmas toy drive @ Stayin’ Alive (D. Rockymore)

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U p Front

retaildetail

Sexy Santa

Slip some of these toys under the tree by Melissa Hoffman well maintained. In terms of sexstory creepiness, they rank pretty low compared to their competition. Lover’s Lane stores are filled with the latest Several locations in metro Detroit gadgets, games, and loverslane.com gizmos. Some of their wares can even ping outlets, and you still haven’t found be tried out in store. If you’re hoping to slip some adult that perfect thing for that special sometoys under the tree, Lover’s Lane wants one this holiday season. Did you forget to help you do just that. They’re offerabout Lover’s Lane? This Michiganing a free Jelly Gems Rabbit vibrator based chain of stores are a one-stop and Bullet with the purchase of $200 shop for all things intimate, whether or more. The brightly colored, super you’re looking for ladies’ lingerie, fessquishy toy is made from body-safe tive thongs for men, or toys that will be materials and can even be used in the please both sexes. tub. Its bulbous head is sure to hit all The stores are quite shiny and You’ve perused Macy’s. You’ve hit Target. You’ve exhausted local shop-

Lover’s Lane

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the right spots, and the shaft’s swirly texture adds even more stimulation. Its rabbit ears cycle through eight pulsation patterns and four speeds of rotation and reverse rotation. If you’re a sex toy novice, this toy is a pretty safe bet. If hitting the sex store just after grabbing groceries isn’t really your thing, think about hitting up their website. They have two-day delivery and everything ships in discreet packaging. The whole neighborhood doesn’t need to know you ordered a candy cane Gstring to stuff in his stocking after all.

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LAST MINUTE HOLIDAY GIFTS THEY WILL LOVE! SHOP WHERE YOUR BUSINESS MATTERS

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N ews

news hits Photo credit: Kate Levy/ACLU of Michigan

Off the rails

Judge calls Detroit’s prosecution of water shut-off protesters a ‘disaster’ by Curt Guyette Curt Guyette is an investigative reporter for the ACLU of Michigan. He can be reached at 313-578-6834 or cguyette@ aclumich.org. In the summer of 2014, as the city of Detroit was shutting off water to thousands of homes a week, a group of activists resorted to civil disobedience in an attempt to draw attention to the crisis. They gathered before sunrise on East Grand Boulevard, outside a facility operated by Homrich, the demolition/ environmental contractor paid more than $5 million to conduct the shutoffs. About 20 people marched, chanted, sang songs, and blocked the gate to the company’s parking lot. Detroit police were on the scene early and spent much of the day watching from the sidelines. Finally, a blue police bus was called in to take away nine protesters who essentially asked to be arrested in an attempt to put the issue of water shut-offs in front of a jury. One protester was never charged with a crime, and another settled the case without going to trial. Now, more than 18 months later, the cases of the seven remaining protesters — each facing one misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct — have yet to be settled, with the Detroit Law Department dragging out the proceedings with one legal maneuver after another. In late November, the city’s obstructionism hit a new low, according to attorneys representing the protesters. In documents filed with Wayne County Circuit Court, attorneys for the protesters contend that city lawyers twice engaged in “unethical and illegal ex parte” meetings with Wayne County Circuit Court Judge Michael Hathaway.

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(To ensure that due process rights are protected, both sides are supposed to be present during meetings with a judge; meetings where that doesn’t happen are referred to as “ex parte.”) At least twice during the prosecution of the Homrich protesters city attorneys met with a judge without telling defense attorneys beforehand. In court on Friday, Linda Fegins, an attorney for the city, denied any wrongdoing on the city’s part. But Judge Robert J. Colombo, chief judge of Wayne County Circuit Court, had a decidedly different opinion, saying during a court proceeding Friday that the ex parte meetings should not have occurred the way they did. “That should never happen,” he said. “Never.” Secret meetings The first secret meeting occurred in November, just before seven of the protesters were set to go to trial in front of 36th District Court Judge Garrett. Two of the protesters — longtime community activists Marian Kramer and the Rev. Bill Wylie-Kellermann — were supposed to have their cases heard by a jury. Another five defendants would participate in what is known as a “bench trial,” with the judge rendering a verdict. All seven were to be tried at the same time, in front of the same judge. The trial was set to begin Nov. 18. One day prior to the start of that trial, however, attorneys for the city — without informing defense attorneys — met with Hathaway and obtained an emergency order stopping the bench trial over five protesters from going forward. “At no time were any of the defense

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December 23-29, 2015

N attorneys given any opportunity to be heard in opposition to this unethical and illegal ex parte motion for a stay of proceedings,” asserted defense attorneys in court documents. Making the case for action Although the bench trial of five protesters had been postponed, the jury trial of Kramer and Wylie-Kellermann (who represented himself) was allowed to proceed as scheduled. A jury was selected, opening statements made, and, over the course of seven days, witnesses took the stand and testified. Prior to closing arguments on Nov. 30, attorneys for the city asked Judge Ruth Ann Garrett to declare a mistrial, claiming that the jury had wrongly been allowed to hear “highly inflammatory and unduly prejudicial testimony.” Essentially, the defense wanted to establish why the protesters took the actions that they did. The city argued that allowing the jury to take those motivating factors into consideration was inappropriate. Garrett disagreed, and the trial was allowed to proceed. Closing arguments were made. An attorney for the city told jurors that the defense was, in essence, throwing everything it could “against the wall” in an attempt to “see what would stick.” But none of that, she argued, was relevant. There was only one simple and straightforward fact the jury needed to consider: Did the defendants engage in an act of disorderly conduct? For his part, Wylie-Kellermann made a point of reiterating the prosecutor’s point of who wasn’t on trial. The city of Detroit wasn’t on trial, he noted. The Department of Water and Sewerage wasn’t on trial. The unelected emergency manager who ordered the mass shut-offs wasn’t on trial. The contractor being paid millions of dollars to shut off people’s water wasn’t on trial. Speaking slowly and softly, appearing slightly disheveled in an inexpensive sports coat, Wylie-Kellermann then delivered a line that summed up the essential point that propelled him and the other protesters to push the issue as far as they have: “I’m on trial,” he said, placing a hand to his chest. “Marian Kramer is on trial. And I submit that, at this moment in history in Detroit, all of us are on trial.” In other words, it wasn’t just a legal issue at stake. It was also a moral issue. After Kramer’s attorney, John Royal, made his closing argument, the jury was poised to begin deliberations. But they never got the chance.

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news hits Shortly before deliberations were set to begin, attorneys for the city informed the defense and Garrett that Hathaway, as the result of another ex parte hearing — which included the city’s chief attorney, Melvin “Butch” Hollowell — had issued an order halting proceedings. It was, defense attorneys now argue, an “unprecedented step” to halt a jury trial while in progress in a case involving a “minor city ordinance violation.” Or, as Kramer told reporters shortly after the deal went down, “The jury was seated, and was ready to go in and do their job, and it was snatched from up under them.” In a court appearance Friday, defense attorney Julie Hurwitz stated that, based on transcripts of the second ex parte hearing, attorneys for the city “blatantly misrepresented the truth” when they assured Hathaway that the defense had been given notification of the proceedings. Jumping the rails On Friday, after Hathaway refused a defense motion to remove himself from further rulings in the case, the action moved to Colombo’s courtroom. He agreed that the ex parte hearings should never have been allowed to occur, but that Hathaway had done nothing to justify being removed from the case. Declaring that the case “has gotten way off track,” Colombo looked at where things stand and determined: “This is a disaster.” Members of the jury are still waiting to hear if they will ever be called back. The five defendants whose bench trial was postponed still have not been able to have their day in court. There are a host of issues that would have to be decided upon appeal for any of the trials to move forward. All over a case involving seven peaceful protesters charged with the misdemeanor offense of disorderly conduct. Colombo’s recommendation was a settlement conference — which he offered to preside over — with the goal of having the city drop all charges. The mindboggling bottom line, though, was articulated by Hurwitz in an interview: “The fact that the city so threatened by these activists that its attorneys would go to such lengths, to the point where they would take actions that threaten their own professional reputations, is quite astounding.”

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December 23-29, 2015

N ews

politics&prejudices

They created Trump by Jack Lessenberry

Fast-forward to exactly 10 months from now, and imagine that Donald Trump is indeed, as now seems all too likely, the Republican presidential nominee. Hillary Clinton is comfortably ahead in the polls. Not by the immense margins once predicted, but by what looks like at least a solid, 55-45 percent victory. Democrats think they’ve got a real chance to take back both houses of Congress. Then, on Oct. 23, 2016, four groups of two terrorists simultaneously enter shopping malls in Omaha, Peoria, Charlotte, N.C, and Spokane, and begin shooting. When it is over, Trump calls for martial law and the immediate expulsion of any immigrant born in the Middle East and for summary execution of anyone guilty of terrorism. Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama urge calm, vow to eventually punish the guilty, and caution us not to blame an entire religion or region for a few badly twisted men. What do you suppose would happen on Election Day? That’s what worries me. Republicans, of course, are worried by something else. My usual routine is to watch CNN for a few minutes in the morning while I take on the heavier intellectual work of playing tug-ofwar with my dog. For months a parade of what passes for Republican statesmen — old senators, consultants, talking heads — have appeared on camera to explain that Trump would soon collapse and the voters would turn to a more sensible candidate. For a while it was supposed to be Jeb Bush (Is he still running? Does anyone know?) Then, Marco Rubio. There was the brief Ben Carson moment, which faded when it became clear that he was actually mad as a hatter, really thought space aliens built the pyramids as grain silos for the ancient Hebrews, and didn’t even seem to know when he was lying to himself.

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Meanwhile, Trump stayed far ahead, the dark Freudian id of the bigoted American soul. Finally, about two weeks ago, it started to become painfully clear this wasn’t going away. Conventional mainstream politicians and media started to panic. The Detroit Free Press published a rare editorial that filled the entire front page denouncing Islamophobia, and Trump, under a huge headline: WE STAND TOGETHER. Ten days ago, Nolan Finley, the editorial voice of the conservative Detroit News, wrote a hand-wringing column that echoed the despair of Republican Party movers and shakers: “The panic among the GOP leadership is that if Trump ends up atop the ticket, he’ll get so thoroughly slashed by Clinton that he’ll wash out Republicans all down the ballot.” Finley added that big-money Republicans were already planning to f lood GOP congressional candidates with cash to try to save them. Their nightmare scenario is another 1964, in which Republicans nominated Barry Goldwater, who passed for an extremist in those simpler times. Democrats won 2-to-1 majorities in both houses of Congress, and actually were able to enact some legislation that did people who were struggling some good. (They called it the Great Society and you can read all sorts of lies about it on right-wing websites.) If that were to happen again, a President Clinton might remember

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politics&prejudices

she was a Democrat, and do things like push through programs to make education affordable. What if she created a huge American Infrastructure Corps, and instead of making the military the only option for our jobless youth put them to work building roads and bridges? What if thousands of Detroiters who’ve never had a job could be trained and put to work fixing up or demolishing ruined buildings, learning skills and a work ethic? What if (shudder) something was done to make the hugely bloated rich pay something like their fair share of the costs of a society that has been so amazingly good to them? No, nobody, not even Bernie Sanders, is suggesting a return to the 90 percent tax bracket for the top earners that existed years ago under that old communist Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was actually a Republican president. (The rich didn’t f lee the country then, by the way, though some of them had to make so with last year’s yachts.) But what the Koch brothers and the DeVos family and their puppets now fear most is that something might happen to reverse the massive redistribution of wealth that’s been underway in this nation since 1981. The redistribution, that is, from poorer Americans to the very richest ones, the so-called 1 percent. That’s the most neglected story of our times. There’s a reason all those lower-earning white workers and retirees are angry; they are living less well than their parents. Donald Trump has tapped into something very real, and has cleverly given them a scapegoat to hate and blame: foreigners and terrorists: first Mexicans, now Muslims. To everyone’s horror, millions are buying it. People have been saying that he is selling a brand of fascism, and they have a point. But in fact, he isn’t selling anything at all but himself. Trump, who was once a liberal and who donated to both parties, has — perhaps to his surprise — blundered into a zone, got a reaction that may have surprised even him with its intensity, and has picked up the ball and run with it. And the Republicans, who are now in anguish, have only themselves to blame. They’ve been telling us for years that government was the problem, that we should, in the words of

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the sainted Grover Norquist, “shrink it to where we can drown it in the bathtub.” They’ve been glorifying the rich and sticking it to the poor. This year, they don’t have another candidate with the charisma of a banana. And into the vacuum steps Trump. Suddenly, you’ve got a rich guy who they’ve seen on TV for years telling them their crummy lives are not their fault. He talks the way they talk, macho and tough. He’s had a long string of glamorous women and made millions. He’s telling us he’s not afraid of anything, and letting us think he’ll kick these little Muslim bastards’ balls through their ears. Powerful medicine, and, if you have a brain, scary as hell. Stay tuned for the next episode of the Decline of the West.

Snyder’s feelings are hurt! News f lash: Gov. Rick Snyder was shocked, really shocked that the Detroit Free Press compared him to Trump in their anti-Muslim-bashing editorial. In a column-length bleat, Snyder whined about how unfair it was that the paper compared the two, just because he became the first governor in the nation to hysterically call for a ban on letting in Syrian refugees after the Paris terror attacks. His move led to an elephant’s stampede in which nearly every other GOP governor joined in the Syrian-bashing. But when called on this, Snyder said he only wanted “assurances that my first priority — keeping Michigan citizens safe — is possible under current federal guidelines.” Well, anyone in immigration could have told him that any refugee coming to Michigan would first have spent as much as two years being intensively checked out. Most are women, children, and old men. No guys with Kalashnikovs on the Damascus-Detroit redeye this week, or ever. By the way, how many of the seven terrorists killed in the Nov. 13 Paris massacres were Syrians? Well, so far as we know, that would be … none. At least five, however, were citizens of Western European countries. So here’s your chance, Snyder: Be the first governor on your block to proclaim: Ban them Brits!

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what’sgoingon

Art | Dance | Comedy | Eat | Theater

Wed, 12/23 & Sat, 12/26 Spike & Mike’s Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation @ Magic Bag

The Magic Bag has been hosting the Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation since 1992, taking credit for unleashing Beavis and Butthead for the first time to unsuspecting Detroit-area audiences. Returning for its 23rd year this festival is sure to bring more cutesy animals and characters whose antics lead to often unspeakable violence. Spike Decker and Mike Gribble have been producing and showcasing new animation for almost three decades with this year’s highlights including Weenis: 12 Days of Elves, Bat Metal, The Saga of Biorn, Captain Awesome, Red Shirt Dream, and Reggae Shark.

Doors open at 8 p.m. all days, films start at 9 p.m.; 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-544-1991; themagicbag.com; tickets are $7.

Wednesday, 12/23

Saturday, 12/26

A Very Merry Clusterfuck with Mary Beth and Jenny

Music in Homes

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Baphomet: The Musikal

@ Palmer Woods

@ Main Art

@ Tangent Gallery

Kicking off their ninth year, Palmer Woods’ Music in Homes brings jazz, classical and world music concerts into Detroit’s historical and magnificent residences. This event begins with a pre-New Year’s Eve holiday celebration featuring Detroit’s international saxophone sensation, James Carter. It’s a rare and spectacular occasion to hear Carter in such intimate settings as he is usually filling enormous theaters around the world. Music in Homes is a series of eight concerts from December into June 2016 so if you can’t make it to this one, check out their calendar for future dates.

Way back in 1981 Harrison Ford was considered one of the hunkiest leading men in Hollywood. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why Raiders is often considered one of the greatest films of all time, both in the action-adventure genre, and in general. In fact it made Empire magazine’s list of the “500 Greatest Movies of All Time.” Come see the classic flick and root for Ford’s Indiana Jones as he races the Nazis for possession of the long-lost Ark of the Covenant.

There will be improv, comedy and singalongs taking place the night after Christmas, with a holiday horror show inspired by the most magikal trinity: Santa, Satan, and Saturn. This musikal is apparently the brainchild of Detroit Free Press reporter and Real Detroit Weekly editor B.J. Hammerstein, Tangent Gallery’s Joe Van Bael, and Torch With a Twist’s Grace Detroit and will include burlesque, snakes, the Satanic Temple, fire, and politics. Rest assured it will be an evening of endless possibilities and no boundaries.

@ GoComedy!

The holidays can be depressing. You’re probably getting some socks and Bath & Body Works lotion, maybe also a hideous sweater from your mom. You’ll eat some dried-out ham and try to block out the political propaganda spewing from your dad’s mouth. Needless to say, you’re going to need to get as many laughs in before the big day as possible. From the minds that brought you this summer’s All-American Clusterfuck somes A Very Merry Clusterfuck and this time they’re taking aim at the most wonderful time of the year. Written and directed by and starring Jenny Bloomer and Mary Beth Kolbicz with too many special guests to mention.

Starts at 8 p.m.; 261 E. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale; 248-327-0575; gocomedy.net; tickets are $15.

Starts at 8 p.m.; 313-8912514; Palmer Woods, Detroit; palmerwoods.org; tickets are $55.

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Starts at midnight; 118 N. Main St., Royal Oak; 248-542-5198; landmarktheatres.com; tickets are $7.

Doors open at 7 p.m.; 715 E. Milwaukee St., Detroit; 313-8732955; tangentgallery.com; tickets are $10.

Art | Dance | Comedy | Eat | Theater

UpFront

what’sgoingon

| News | Feature |

What’s Going On |

Sunday, 12/27

Eat

Pure Detroit Fisher Building Tour @ The Fisher Building

| Drink

Detroit has a trove of beautifully designed buildings and Albert Kahn’s Fisher Building is nothing short of an architectural masterpiece. Learn intimate details about the nearly 90 years old building and gander at the exquisite design and ornamentation of the interior arcade including one-of-a-kind mosaics, painted ceilings, Art Deco chandeliers, and the finest craftsmanship in stone, brass and bronze. The tour will be 45 minutes of extensive history on the building and a tour of the interior arcade and third floor. Come see the largest marble skyscraper in the world and why the Fisher Building is known as the “golden tower.”

Tour starts at 12 p.m., 3011 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit; 313-872-1000; buff.ly/1c1N3PB; Tour is free and open to the public of all ages.

Great Lakes Invitational

Christmas might be over. Maybe you’re feeling a little holiday hangover. Sip a little hair of the holiday dog and enjoy this evening or whiskey and bourbon sampling with family and friends. Mouthwatering small plates also will be served to keep your belly full as you sip some one the best liquors available. DJ Andre will be your host for the the night and while you “let it pour” you can take a walk through the Roostertail’s winter wonderland. Tickets also come with seven tasting samples, parking, and complimentary coat check. Festive attire is requested and you must be 21 or older to attend.

When the Snow Queen abducts her beloved friend Kai, Gerda begins a magical and perilous journey to find him, encountering friends, flowers, fiends, and an enormously critical crow along the way. PuppetART’s production of Snow Queen uses a remarkable variety of techniques and effects in its telling of the tale, including marionettes, rod puppets, hand puppets, projections, and costumes that double as scenery. If your kids like Frozen, they’ll love PuppetART’s version of the Snow Queen. And you won’t have to hear “Let It Go” for the umpteenth time.

Christmas Day may have come and gone, but there’s still time to make the most of the holiday season. This is the last night of the season to stroll the Edsel and Eleanor Ford House grounds and walk under a canopy of twinkling lights. The historic Grosse Pointe Shore estate will sparkle with more than 100 luminaries and 80,000 glimmering lights, guiding visitors young and old down a half-mile outdoor path of holiday cheer. There will be holiday folk storytelling, hot chocolate (and adult seasonal beverages), crafts, and Santa.

@ Joe Louis Arena

Tour starts at 5 p.m., 1100 Lake Shore Rd., Grosse Pointe Shores; 313-884-4222; fordhouse.org; tickets are $15, children 2 and under are free.

Events start at 3:30 p.m. and 7 p.m. both days; 19 Steve Yzerman Dr., Detroit; 313-4717000; olympiaentertainment. com; tickets start at $15.

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December 23-29, 2015

Classifieds

Starts at 6 p.m.; 100 Marquette Dr., Detroit; 313-822-1234 ext. 0; tickets are $40 in advance and $50 at the door.

Show starts at 2 p.m.; 25 E. Grand River Ave., Detroit; 313961-7777; puppetart.org; tickets are $5 for kids, $10 for adults.

This year’s College Hockey in the D marks the 51st annual Great Lakes Invitation. For only the 13th time in the tournament’s history four Michiganbased schools will descend upon Hockeytown for a two-day, singleelimination tournament that has become a holiday tradition for sports fans in the southeast Michigan for a half a century. Event host Michigan Tech, along with mainstays Michigan and Michigan State, will once again be competing for the MacInnes Cup. Special invitee Northern Michigan is set join the field for the sixth time in the tournament’s history.

@ Edsel & Eleanor Ford House

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Goodbye, 2015 All the ways to celebrate New Year’s Eve by MT Staff Meridian Motor City NYE Drop

@ Campus Martius Park What better way to ring in the new year than by celebrating it in the heart of downtown Detroit. Meridian Motor City NYE Drop will commence at Campus Martius with two atmospheres: The Drop and the Motown Countdown. This staple event not only includes the best views of the holiday cityscape but entertainment by Boji from Channel 95.5, the Cosmic Groove Band, and more. General admission for The Drop is free but if you want to do it BIG for NYE, tickets for the Drop’s official VIP party, the Motown Countdown, are also available. VIP ticket-holders will receive eight drink vouchers to enjoy under the 11,000-square-foot Grand Celebration Party Pavilion. Activities begin at 4 p.m.; 800 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-355-0413; motorcitynye.com; early bird VIP tickets are $55 and 2 VIP Tickets are $108 via LivingSocial.

Blast

@ Marriott Centerpoint Sitting on your couch watching the ball drop can be boring, so why not have a blast at the Blast New Year’s Eve 2016? This is said to be “metro Detroit’s most exclusive New Year’s Eve party.” Well, it might be, being that it will be held at the swanky and newly renovated Marriott Centerpoint close to Bloomfield. Just like the venue, guests are expected to style and profile in “cocktail chic” while bringing in the new year. As far as entertainment, there will be several hosts and DJs such as Dano, Godfather, Mike Anthony, Matt Aubrey, Chris Anthony, John Larson, Denis Celic, and more. Great thing about this party is, if you know you’re going to get more than tipsy… there’s no need to call an Uber. Just book a room in advance. Doors open at 8 p.m.; 3600 Center-

point Parkway, Pontiac; 248-566-4499; blastnewyearseve.com; early-bird general admission starts at $45; 21 and older only.

Hollywood in the D

@ V Nightclub MGM’s V Nightclub is rolling out the red carpet once again for their Hollywood in the D New Year’s party. Serving up fun like Las Vegas and glitz like Hollywood, the Detroit nightclub is the place to end 2015 with a bang. With sounds from resident DJ Captn20 and views of their go-go dancers, you don’t want to miss this one. They’ll be breaking the knob on New Year’s Eve when they host their annual Hollywood in the D bash. Guests are encouraged to sport “Hollywood glamour attire” like a true star-studded event. The venue promises “celebrity” appearances and special guest performances all night long. Doors open at 10 p.m.; 1777 Third St., Detroit; 313-465-1650; hollywoodinthed. com; early bird tickets start at $50; 21 and older only.

The Countdown

@ The MET Travel to Troy and enjoy the Countdown at the MET. The MET Hotel & Event Center is in the heart of Oakland County and home to metro Detroit’s largest ballroom. This 15,000-square-foot event space will be hosting the Countdown New Year’s Eve Party. Since 2010, the hotel has been the home to “unforgettable celebrations” and they encourage more people to join in on the fun. The event is expected to draw an upscale crowd of young professionals, singles, couples, and groups. The festivities will include a champagne and hors d’oeuvres reception, a huge dance floor, nightclub-style sound and lighting, plentiful bars with 20 bartenders, midnight snack

34 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

n Bevlove @ Club Reign

buffet stations, and more. Doors open at 9 p.m.; 5500 Crooks Rd., Troy; 248-918-9128; countdown2nye. com; tickets start at $85.

Motor City Gala

@ Antheneum Hotel The Motor City Gala is considered to be “downtown Detroit’s newest luxury New Year’s Eve experience.” If you’re curious to see what all the

hype is about, put on your “Evening chic and New Year’s Eve hot” gear and party walking distance from Greektown. Headlining entertainment includes host Slim from Channel 95.5 and Detroit’s hottest DJs; Chrome, A Wolve, and Cue until 4 a.m. They will be spinning your favorite old and new jams in the main ballroom to keep you dancing into 2016.

F Doors open at 9 p.m.; 1000 Brush Ave., Detroit; motorcitygala.com; tickets start at $85; 21 and older only.

Toast

@ Novi Sheraton Toast New Year’s Eve is accommodating end-of-the-year convivial celebrations for you and your pals. This event claims to sell out every year, so don’t ponder to select this event give a toast to the new year. The hotel will also have three separate party areas, which includes the Grand Ballroom, Mackinac Ballroom, and Marquette. Sounds will be provided by DJs Vin, Quest, Mike Jones, and some of metro Detroit’s Best EDM DJ’s. Doors open at 9 p.m.; 21111 Haggerty Rd., Novi; 313-363-5736; toastnye.com; tickets start at $45; 21 and older only.

Resolution Ball

@ The Fillmore If your New Year’s Eve fantasy is to get all gussied up and have the best night ever, you’ll want to go the Resolution Ball route. There will be Cirque-style performances, stilt walkers, illusionists, and stunt performers from the Detroit Circus, plus music by DJs Tommy Holiday and Cue. Come midnight there will be a

feature Korbel reception, a balloon drop, and confetti storm. At 12:01 a.m. they’ll roll out a buffet of pizza, sliders, coneys, and gourmet chocolate. Doors open at 8 p.m.; 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-961-5451; resolutionballdetroit.com; tickets are $100; 21 and older only.

Bleu

Eran Hersh and seven other EDM and top 40 DJs will spin inside this swanky Detroit techno club. The requisite champagne toast and balloon drop will happen at midnight and a buffet will follow soon after. There will be drink specials all night long and group VIP packages are also available. The party continues until 4 a.m. Doors open at 10 p.m.; 1540 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-974-7799; bleudetroit. com; tickets are $15.

Sabrage

This swanky second-story club is all about champagne, so you can bet they’re going to do it big on New Year’s Eve. There will be a special performance by Rodney Paige, a Moet toast at midnight (Dom Perignon if you’re VIP), party favors, and a ball drop.

Open for cocktails at 9 p.m.; club opens at 10 p.m.; 401 S. Lafayette Ave., Royal Oak; 248-542-0082; sabrageroyaloak.com; cover starts at $10.

Bistro 82

Enjoy a one-on-one dinner with your significant other inside this intimate upscale eatery for a classy yet low key New Year’s Eve. The regular menu will be available along with a four-course menu with optional wine pairings that was created especially for the last night of 2015. Party favors and a complimentary champagne toast will be provided during the ball drop. 401 S. Lafayette Ave., Royal Oak; 248542-0082; bistro82.com.

The Hideout

Clawson’s favorite neighborhood bar will be doing New Year’s Eve up with party favors and a champagne toast. The Michigan State vs. Alabama game will be playing on their giant projection screen, and there’s no cover all evening. 1110 W. 14 Mile Rd., Clawson; 248-4352494; hideoutclawson.com; no cover.

Detroit Pub Clinton Township

Nosh on New York strip steak, sip champagne at midnight, and dance all night long to tracks spun by DJ Wick at Clinton Township’s Detroit Pub. Doors open at 8 p.m.; 33401 Harper Ave., Clinton Township; 586-791-1288; thedetroitpub.com; tickets are $15.

Blackfinn Ameripub

Don’t wait too long to join this party, even if you’ve pre-purchased your ticket because there’s no guarantee you’ll get in the door after 10:30 p.m., that’s how popular this NYE shindig is. There will be a champagne toast at midnight, passed appetizers, and party favors plus a $10 gift card. Starts at 9 p.m.; 530 Main St., Royal Oak; 248-582-9460; blackfinnroyaloak. com; tickets are $33; 21 and older only.

Jim Brady’s Detroit

Enjoy tunes from Detroit’s “arena rockabilly” band the Twistin’ Tarantulas inside this classy bar and grille. 1214 S. Main St., Royal Oak; 248-3061954; no cover.

n Electric Six @ Saint Andrew’s Hall

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Enjoy special prix fixe menus from MGM Grand Detroit’s restaurants Wolfgang Puck Pizzeria and Cucina and Wolfgang Puck Steak. At TAP, watch the ball drop on over 40 TVs while enjoying champagne selections. 1777 Third St., Detroit; 877-888-2121; mgmgranddetroit. com/nye2016.

Neon Soul at Ignite Sushi Bar & Lounge

n Greensky Bluegrass @ Royal Oak Music Theatre

The Mega ’80’s New Years Eve Bash

@ Magic Bag Harken back to MTV’s grand tradition of MTV’s New Year’s Eve special and relive your glory days as the Magic Bag’s resident cover band plays the ’80s biggest hits. Don’t forget to don your best ’80s duds. Doors open at 8 p.m.; 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-544-1991; themagicbag.com; tickets are $35 in advance.

Albert’s on the Alley

Sip champagne, dance, and watch the ball drop on a giant screen inside Albert’s on the Alley. There will be a cash balloon drop at midnight, plus a 1 a.m. pizza buffet, prizes, and contests throughout the evening. Starts at 7 p.m.; 5651 Middlebelt Rd., Garden City; 734-525-5231; albertsonthealley.com.

Freakish Pleasures

@ Marble Bar Billing itself as “a night of brutal dance music and the sleaziest party in town,” this event features a lineup curated by local electronic label Freakish Pleasures. MBG and MGUN headline, joined by Charles Trees, Ritual Howls, and psychedelic pop act Jamaican Queens’ Ryan Spencer. Starts at 9 p.m.; 1501 Holden St., Detroit; $7, 18 and older only.

Wright & Co.

Enjoy New Year’s Eve at one of the most stylish restaurants to emerge in Detroit in recent years. Tickets include tax and gratuity, four drinks, a glass of champagne for the midnight toast, and, of course, Wright and Co.’s delectable

appetizers. Come ready to mingle with new friends: There are no reserved tables or seats. Music provided by DJ Ernie Guerra. (New to Wright and Co.? Follow the symbols upstairs.) Starts at 9 p.m.; 1500 Woodward Ave., second floor, Detroit; 313-962-7711; wrightdetroit.com; $99.

Greensky Bluegrass

@ Royal Oak Music Theatre At this point, a Greensky Bluegrass concert is a New Year’s Eve tradition in metro Detroit. The five piece regularly rings in the coming year by performing their version of acoustic bluegrass tunes with a hint of rock ’n’ roll. If you’re looking for an evening that’s a touch lower maintenance than a dress-to-impress gala, this would be it. Needless to say, there will be no champagne toast at midnight. This year Nicki Bluhm and the Gramblers will also perform. Doors open at 8 p.m.; 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; romtlive.com; tickets are $30 in advance and $35 at the door.

Christian Martin

@ Grasshopper Underground Dirtybird resident and co-founder Christian Martin is something of a favorite around these parts, so a set to close out the year by the DJ is quite a treat. He’s set to headline this New Year’s Eve gig and he’ll will be accompanied by Doug English and Ross Regs with an opening set by Jay Biggs. If you’re looking to dance your ass off as 2015 ends, this is the party for you. No cheesy champagne toast at midnight necessary. Doors open at 9 p.m.; 22757 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-298-0330; thegrasshopperunderground.com; tickets start at $10; 21 and older only.

36 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

@ MGM Grand Detroit The dress code for this event calls for “upscale attire” so you can welcome the new year in style. Enjoy live music from Nata and sounds of DJ Wax Tax-N Dre and a complimentary champagne toast at midnight. Doors at 10 p.m.; 1777 Third St., Detroit; 877-888-2121; mgmgranddetroit.com/ nye2016; $30; 21 and older only.

AXIS Lounge

@ MGM Grand Detroit Open from 10 a.m. to 4 a.m. Pato Motown performs from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. and Ben Sharkey from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Music starts at 9 p.m.; 1777 Third St., Detroit; 877-888-2121; mgmgranddetroit. com/nye2016; $30 cover after 8 p.m.; 21 and older only.

7883; limelightsportspubandgrill.com; free.

Detroit City Distillery

Bartenders will be whipping up 365 drinks — one to commemorate each day of 2016 — and the person lucky enough to drink the 365th cocktail will get a birthday party on the house. The evening will feature a special on French 75s, music by Khary Frazier, and a live band. And yes, there will be a champagne toast at midnight. Party starts at 8 p.m.; 2462 Riopelle St., Detroit; 313-338-3760; detroitcitydistillery. com; no cover.

Sweet Sixteen

@ Club Reign This action-packed bill includes (Detroit-famous!) acts Valley Hush, Market, James Linck, Chavis Chandler, and Bevlove, with sets by DJ Breeze and Edward Elecktro (Sheefy McFly’s alter ego). Moet bottles will be available for $100 and table service is available. Starts at 9 p.m.; 2055 Gratiot Ave., Detroit; 313-320-4275; $20 (VIP $35).

Haute to Death

The Townsend Hotel’s award-winning restaurant features a special four-course prix fixe menu served from 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. Courses include pork belly and king crab, lobster pho, pan roasted turbot, and more. Reservations are required, so be sure to call ahead. Starts at 5 p.m.; 100 Townsend St.; Birmingham; 248-642-5999; townsendhotel.com; dinner is $105 per person (not inclusive of beverage, tax or gratuity).

@ Elizabeth Theater at Park Bar Detroit’s self-styled “most glamorous and hedonistic dance party,” Haute to Death (aka DJs Jon Dones and Ash Nowak) returns. This time, they’re bringing Flint Eastwood, who will perform her new dance EP, Small Vistories. The event will have a complimentary coat check, a photobooth, and late night hors d’oeuvres. We’re told there will also be balloons. Starts at 9 p.m.; 2040 Park Ave., Detroit; 313-962-2933; tickets available at buy.smplfd.com; $17; 21 and over only.

Dooley’s

Forest Grill

Rugby Grille

Dooley’s has all of the New Year’s Eve prerequisites: a midnight food buffet, a Times Square countdown, champagne toast, pizza buffet at 2 a.m., and a live band (Sterling Heights location only). The party goes until 4 a.m. Starts at 8 p.m.; two locations (12414 Hall Rd., Sterling Heights; 586-323-3501 and 235 N. Groesbeck Hwy., Mount Clemens; 586-954-1800); dooleysirish.com; $10 cover.

Limelight

Drink and dance the night away inside Warren’s Limelight Pub. There will be a complimentary buffet, a free champagne toast at midnight, and a DJ spinning hits all night long. 30200 Van Dyke Ave., Warren; 586-751-

A special New Year’s Eve menu includes lobster ravioli, surf and turf, coconut mousse, and more. 735 Forest Ave., Birmingham; 248-2589400; forestbirmingham.com; dinners are $95 per person.

Electric Six

@ Saint Andrew’s Hall In 2003, Detroit’s Electric Six took the world by storm with the smash success of Fire, bolstered by oddball instant classics like “Danger! High Voltage” and “Gay Bar.” Since then, the band has released a constant output of new music, regardless of whether the mainstream press has been paying attention. The band’s New Year’s Eve show promises the best of both worlds: Frontman Dick Valentine and

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F Co. will play one set of Fire in its entirety, and another of their greatest hits. Local rockers MPV open. Doors at 9 p.m.; 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; 313-961-8961; saintandrewsdetroit.com; $20; 18 and older only.

jaws drop. Pre-show starts at 6 p.m. and main show at 7 p.m.; 50400 Cherry Hill Rd., Canton; 734-394-5300; cantonvillagetheater.org; tickets are $20.

DSO NYE Bash

Hit Detroit’s original rooftop for a full night of great music and a hype atmosphere. Since 1988 Exodos has made New Year’s Eve a one-of-a-kind event with its special year-round outdoor lounge and bar. See Dan Tillery in his live acoustic set from 7-10 p.m., followed by DJ Jmac from 10-12 a.m., finished by a set from DJ Nass. Doors open 6 p.m.; 529 Monroe St., Detroit; 313-962-1300; exodosrooftop.com; entry prices vary.

Ring in the new year with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. Enjoy an evening of classics with music director Leonard Slatkin, timeless R&B soul hits from principal pops conductor Jeff Tyzik, and American Idol finalist Michael Lynche. The DSO requests black-tie apparel for their televised extravaganza on Detroit Public Television. When the clock strikes midnight, guests are invited to singalong with a full orchestral performance of “Auld Lang Syne,” complete with champagne toast. Concert begins at 10 p.m.; Max M. & Marjorie S. Fisher Music Center, 3711 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-576-5111; DSO.org; Concert-only tickets begin at $40. Multiple packages for dinner-VIP experience range from $150-$500.

Detroit Circus

@ The Village Theatre Witness high-flying aerial antics on fabric and the trapeze, fire dancing and eating, stilt walking and stilt acrobatics, and feats of mind-bending strength. Adagio Acrobatic members will also amaze viewers with their challenging body balancing, yoga and flexible maneuvers requiring two partners, who appear to push the limits of physics. This is an animal-free show that will make your

n Resolution Ball @ the Fillmore

38 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

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Exodos

“The Whitneys”

Send this year off in style. Stay at the Whitney mansion on NYE and enjoy a night of luxury. The Whitney is serving a special four-course menu on New Year’s Eve. Two-hour seatings beginning at 4:30 p.m. The Ghost Bar is open exclusively for dining guests to enjoy before and after dinner. Dancing and live music begins at 10:30 p.m. in the ballroom. Pick the deluxe package and stay overnight. Doors open at 4 p.m.; 4421 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-832-5700; thewhitney. com; tickets are $100.

Countdown to 2016 with New Year’s Eve Detroit on the 25th Floor

@ Top of the Pontch This will be a premier New Year’s Eve ex-

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n Hollywood in the D @ V Nightclub perience. This upscale boutique celebration will be glamour and glitz, and you’ll ring in the new year with a 360-degree view that overlooks the lit Detroit New Year’s Eve skyline. This breathtaking view overlooks the Detroit River, Windsor, and the Ambassador Bridge. This unparalleled view will be your backdrop while you dine, drink, dance and make memories to last a lifetime. Doors open at 8 p.m.; 2 Washington Blvd., Detroit; 313-782-4313; topofthepontch.com; tickets start at $95.

New Year’s Eve Masquerade Gala

@ Masonic Temple Add a mask to that dress or suit and head to the Masonic Temple for their special masquerade gala. During the night of disguise, enjoy a premium drink bar, a strolling dinner, dessert and coffee bar, midnight champagne toast, live entertainment, and the late night snack at 2 a.m. Doors open at 7 p.m. dinner begins at 8 p.m.; 500 Temple Ave., Detroit; 313-6382724; themasonic.com; $145.

Vintage House

Ring in the new year with a long time favorite. The Vintage House in known for their elite entertainment and delicious dishes at their New Year’s Eve bash. Try their family-style dishes including, shrimp cocktail, beef tenderloin, bowtie alfredo and chicken followed by French pastries for dessert. Live DJ entertainment welcomes an open dance floor and a free photo booth. Premium beverages

42 December December23-29, 23-29,2015 2015 | | metrotimes.com metrotimes.com 42

will also be served along with a gourmet pizza station. End the night with a midnight champagne toast and dance the night away. Doors open at 7 p.m.; 31816 Utica Rd., Fraser; 586-415-5678; vintagebanquetsandcatering.com; $80 and complimentary shuttle service, call for details.

Jazzy New Year’s Eve

@ Trenton Village Theatre The award-winning jazz flutist and Canadian radio host returns to the stage with his band Alexander Zonjic and Friends. Swiss pianist and composer Alex Bugnon joins the bill. The evening also features a midnight champagne toast, gourmet desserts and coffee, door prizes, and photo opportunities with the artists. Doors at 9:30 p.m.; 2447 W. Jefferson Ave., Trenton; 313-964-5050; zonjic.com; $50.

Da Edoardo Foxtown Grille

The restaurant will be serving a special New Year’s Eve menu. Appetizers choices include Polpette Della Casa, Cozze All Diavolo, Calamari Arrabbiata, and roasted bell peppers, and Italian sausage. Entrees include chicken picatta, veal saltimbocca, filet mignon, and more. There will also be a midnight champagne toast. Space is limited so be sure to call ahead to make reservations. Seating times are 5 p.m., 7:15 p.m., and 9:45 p.m. 2203 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-4713500; daedoardo.com.

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feature n Eran Hersh @ Bleu

Stacey Pullen

@ TV Lounge Enjoy the last bit of 2015 with a fourhour extended set with Stacey Pullen in his first show in Detroit at TV Lounge. Also starring Al Ester, Bruce Bailey, Chuck Flask, Dan Bain & Adia, Delano Smith, Loren, Mister Joshooa, Norm Talley, Pontchartrain, and Phil Tha Mixx. Line up lasts until 4 a.m. Dress to dance and bring cash for the bar. Doors open at 9 p.m.; 2548 Grand River Ave., Detroit; paxahau.com; tickets are $20 in advance; 21 and up only.

Weber’s Inn

Spend New Year’s Eve in Ann Arbor at Weber’s Inn. Enjoy dinner and the party

44 44 December December 23-29, 23-29, 2015 2015 || metrotimes.com metrotimes.com

from 7 p.m.-1 a.m. and don’t worry about driving back, just stay overnight. Partygoers can enjoy the spectacular dinner buffet, evening-long entertainment and dancing in two ballrooms, champagne toast at midnight, and a late night pizza buffet. Live entertainment by Mainstreet Soul in the Grand Ballroom or music from the DJ in the atrium ballroom overlooking the beautiful pool area. Both will have you dancing into the new year with their music mix and dynamic nightclub edge along with your requests. Buffet opens at 7 p.m.; 3050 Jackson Rd., Ann Arbor; 734-769-2500; webersinn. com; Dinner and party $250 per couple and overnight stay $399 per couple; formal attire; 21 and older only.

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F Palazzo Grande

This fancy evening will include hor d’oeuvres and a plated dinner plus a premium bar, dancing, and a late night pizza buffet. Of course, there will be a champagne toast at midnight. Starts at 7:30 p.m.; 54660 Van Dyke Ave., Shelby Township; 586-731-2100; thepalazzogrande.com; tickets are $100 per person.

Thirst Wave NYE

@ Small’s New wave, retro alternative, and dark ’80s and ’90s alternative will be spinning all night at Small’s as their signature Thirst Wave party takes on the theme of New Year’s Eve. Snag free noisemakers, party hats, and beads at the door, and hit the bar for cheap drinks. There will be a complimentary appetizer buffet all evening long and come midnight you can toast with champagne, or PBR if you’re not into the bubbly drink. Doors open at 9 p.m.; smallsbardetroit. com; cover is $5 for 21 and older before 10 p.m.; $8 after 10 p.m., $8 20 and younger.

crab, lobster pho, lamb loin, and chocolate semifreddo. Served 5 p.m. to 1 a.m.; 100 Townsend St., Birmingham; 248-642-5999; townsendhotel.com; $105 per person; reservation required.

Townsend Hotel

It’s the roaring ’20s inside the new Detroit location of the Townsend Hotel. The glam evening includes three seatings for a five-course meal paired with a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Champagne, plus live music, party favors, and a photobooth. After the final seating doors open to the public for late night bites, drinks, and dancing. Formal ’20s attire and reservations are required for dinner. Seatings at 5 p.m. ($125), 7:30 p.m.($175), and 10 p.m. ($200); doors open to the public at 10 p.m.; 500 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-723-1000; townsendhotel.com.

Firebird Tavern

@ Temple Bar Dretraxxx and Pete Croce have engineered this evening of New Year’s Eve fun. Limited edition collectable presale tickets are available. Expect lots of Prince tracks, obviously. Starts at 10 p.m.; 2906 Cass Ave., Detroit; 313-832-2822; tickets are $5 in advance; purple and paisley attire preferred.

This Greektown bar will make New Year’s Eve simple this year. They’re offering regular service until 9 p.m. — serving a delicious menu with items like steak frites, meatloaf, and their special version of chicken cordon bleu — after which time they will open up their second floor for a party with all the requisite NYE accoutrements like party favors and a champagne toast. They’re also keeping the kitchen open until 1 a.m. to make sure your belly is full all night long. The whole place will remain open until 4 a.m. 419 Monroe Ave., Detroit; 313-782-4189; firebirdtavern.com.

Luna

CK Diggs

Erotic City NYE 2016: Dretraxx and Pete Croce

The party goes until 4 a.m. at Luna, where there will be plenty of dancing, lots of drinking, and even free nosh from Pei Wei. Cover also comes with party favors and a champagne toast at midnight, plus there will be a special dance show by the award-winning Luna dancers. Doors open at 8 p.m.; 1815 N. Main St., Royal Oak; lunaroyaloak.com; tickets are $5 in advance and $7 at the door.

NYE Menu

@ Rugby Grille If you’re looking to keep your New Year’s Eve low key and intimate, dinner at the Townsend Hotel’s Rugby Grille is the way to go. The swanky restaurant’s culinary team have crafted a special fourcourse prix fixe menu that will only be available for this special evening. Courses include choices like pork belly and king

46 46 December December 23-29, 23-29, 2015 2015 || metrotimes.com metrotimes.com

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If you’re into craft beer, this is the place to be on New Year’s Eve. CK Diggs has a fantastic selection of locally made brews and a slew of taps. Order from their special holiday menu and enjoy the MSU vs. Alabama football game for a chill way to enter 2016. 2010 W. Auburn Rd., Rochester Hills; 248-853-6600; ckdiggs.com.

CJ Mahoneys Troy

Sip your favorite brewski while enjoying the MSU vs. Alabama football game with the sound on at this neighborhood watering hole. There’s no cover or annoying balloon drop at midnight. 2511 Livernois Rd., Troy; 248-273-4600; cjmahoneystroy.com; no cover.

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James Rigato dazzles and delights with Mabel Gray by Jane Slaughter James Rigato has done it again, and in Hazel Park. His second restaurant, little Mabel Gray, is a carefully orchestrated mix of seeming blitheness in the decor and a piling-on of fastidious details in the food prep. The result is nothing but fun for lucky diners, who have filled the made-over Ham Heaven diner every night since it opened Oct. 1. Service is gracious to the max; our party was offered compensatory champagne the moment it became clear we’d have to wait for our reserved table. The staff is not stuffy, either; we watched a hostess climb precariously onto a shelf above the bar to fetch bottles of wine. The informal vibe Rigato is seeking is promoted by a fortissimo noise level, whimsical design such as an otter mural and a quilt of flags and Gibson Girls, bare tables, and mismatched plates and glasses (but cloth napkins). The height of the chef’s aspirations is signaled by the well-informed servers, who are comfortable with all aspects of the ambitious menu. One night our desserts were presented by pastry chef Tina Conger herself. Our party, all from Detroit, noted how often we’d dined in Ferndale but how seldom in Hazel Park, i.e., never. Yet the tiny industrial suburb is just a couple of miles away along Nine Mile Road. Could Mabel be the first harbinger of eastward-creeping gentrification? Friends had visited the day Mabel opened, and complained that each dish they tried was cooked to perfection but burdened by a single overpowering ingredient, like blue cheese or hot pepper jelly. They were game to try again two months later, though, and quickly called themselves converts. As a fan of Rigato’s four-year-old the Root in White Lake, I needed no convincing. Be warned that my paeans to the dishes that follow can serve only as a rough guide, though, as the menu — studiously local — changes nearly daily. On my two visits a week apart, only five of the 12 menu items reappeared the second night, and three of them had

been seriously re-engineered. The menu is not divided into starters and mains; you have to guess by the prices or descriptions. Or ask that friendly server. I ordered roasted Brussels sprouts, with ham broth and a football-shaped poached egg, and found it would have been plenty for a main dish (at $12). Orders of green beans ($7) and broccoli ($8) by a vegetarian friend were similarly sizable. The beans came with a generous handful of crunchy almonds — not thin-sliced but chunky — with preserved lemons and a not-overpowering blue cheese, and the roasted broccoli, done to the just-right degree of tenderness, was aided by an olive-y aioli made from the business side of a deviled egg. Sweet potatoes were as far from Thanksgiving sugar-surfeit as you can imagine: They got a zippy Mexican treatment, with pumpkin seeds, queso fresco, and mole verde. Crunchy cauliflower came with lemon, garlic, pecorino, and a handful of golden raisins in a creamy sauce. When a chef decrees that Brussels sprouts will be garnished not just with charred onion but with pickled onion and onion mousse as well, you know he’s put some thought into the matter and wants to create a complex and revelatory combination that will keep the guest guessing (in a good way) throughout the meal. As the vegetables demonstrate, there are no one-note dishes at Mabel Gray. Take Lamb Melt. One night it came with marinated mushrooms, Swiss cheese, and a Russian dressing labeled “kimchi,” all on house-made challah. Another night it was topped with Rigato’s version of pub cheese: aged cheddar churned with cream cheese, fresh horseradish, pickled peppers, and beer. I can’t say enough about the buttery warm tenderness of the Michigan lamb, topped with the cool cheese, the spicing of each just at the right heat level. Likewise pork belly (also from our state) — the meat melted in the mouth

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Photo by Scott Spellman

Mabel Gray Kitchen 23825 John R Rd., Hazel Park 248-398-4300 mabelgraykitchen.com

Accessible | Dishes around $7-$30, tasting menu $65 4-10 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday, 4-11 p.m. Friday-Saturday

and the lulled tastebuds were waked up by some pungent and cool red kraut. My only complaint about my tuna crudo was that there could have been more of it. This was a many-level dish: The sauce for the deep red tuna, “Kentucky soy,” had been aged in a bourbon barrel. Avocado added richness, as if more were needed, black radish was cut paper-thin into fan shapes, and sweetish circles of kumquat were scattered around. House-cured lox were generously supplied, with a buttery texture, side of rye, and prominent dill flavor. A heavily sauced rabbit cacciatore was the only dish that didn’t have me raving, though it would be great for those into pickling. The source of the tartness was fermented black garlic sauce, aged in a crockpot for 10 days. Scallops came with a lot of sauce (charred pumpkin mousse, hot pepper jelly, coconut milk) and a a spiciness that crept up on you. The dish’s owner said he would be remembering it for a while. From the dessert menu, it’s worth calling ahead to see if lemon creme brulee will be on hand when you visit. Its creamy lightness has that perfect crackly crust that is the reason for creme brulee. A dark-chocolate-andhazelnuts confection is slightly more prosaic— but how could it go wrong, wit h a whipped mascarpone topping and a bit of praline to add a toffee note?

A pear tart and a pecan blondie with bourbon caramel are other possibilities. Note that Mabel Gray keeps two time-honored customs: taking reservations (recommended) and serving bread and butter. The excellent butter is sometimes house-made, as is the bread at all times, often a light rye sourdough made from flour that’s been milled to order by Westwind Milling Co. What Rigato really loves to cook is the eight-course tasting menu, which will include some items from the menu and some he makes specially for those who put their trust in him. “We’re very much a chef’s restaurant,” he says. “Everything is on purpose, there is no compromise.” He explains how the tasting menu “is a good place for me to use, for example, the 12 duck hearts I have on hand. If you saw them on the menu, you’d say, ‘Ew, I don’t like duck hearts,’ but if I put them in front of you, done with a pastrami brine and on top of some chestnut soup, you’d say, ‘Wow, I love duck hearts!’” He wants customers to “put some trust back into the chef’s hands. Lots of restaurants are terrified of pushing the customer’s boundaries. But otherwise we’re doomed to having a million Eddie Merlots.”

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Bites

n Wahlburgers in Hingham, Mass.

Photo by Yelp user Ryan C.

Wahlburgers to hit Greektown by Serena Maria Daniels Mark Wahlberg will be jumping on to the Detroit restaurant bandwagon when he opens one of his Wahlburgers outlets in Greektown as early as next summer. In an interview with Fox 2, Wahlberg said he is working with downtown real estate mogul Dan Gilbert in securing a location. Bedrock Real Estate Services executive VP Dan Mullen confirmed Wahlberg is indeed in negotiations to open the new branch. The Academy Award-nominated actor launched the growing chain in his home state of Massachusetts in 2011. It has since grown to include locations in Florida, Nevada, New York, and Pennsylvania. The house burgers are topped with the signature “wahl sauce,” onion, dill pickles, lettuce, tomato, and “government cheese.”

New wine shop for downtown Detroit New businesses are opening daily in Detroit. It’s a sign the city is on the path to a true economic renaissance. In the past few years we’ve seen Shinola, John Varvatos, Will Leather Goods, and other high-end retailers open up inside city limits, and yet another swanky shop celebrated its grand opening Dec. 16.

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House of Pure Vin is a posh retail wine spot that opened on the first floor of the Lofts at Merchants Row at 1433 Woodward Ave. Co-owners Regina Gaines, Terry Mullins, and Andrea Dunbar are all native Detroiters who returned home in hopes of investing in the city’s resurgence. The 3,100-square-foot shop will stock 4,000 bottles initially and will double that number come 2016. Around half of those bottles will come from Michigan and another 40 percent will be from around the U.S. The space will also have a tasting room and a champagne room. House of Pure Vin is open noon to 4 p.m., Monday through Thursday, noon to 11 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and noon to 5 p.m. Sunday.

‘Taste of Detroit’ tent added to Winter Blast So you’re not a fan of the zip line or snow slide. No worries, this season’s Meridian Winter Blast presented by Quicken Loans will pay homage to Detroit’s burgeoning food renaissance with the introduction of the “Taste of Detroit” food tent. Among the restaurants showcasing their cuisine will be El Asador, El Barzon, Revolver, LaDolce Vita, Slow’s to Go, Hudson Café, Detroit Seafood

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E at Market, and more. Organizers say the new food tent is a sign of the city’s continued turnaround and liken the 2016 festivities to the energy experienced during the 2006 event, which served as the backdrop for Super Bowl XL, which attracted more than 200,000 visitors. This year, organizers expect 75,000 visitors. This year’s Meridian Winter Blast takes place Feb. 12-14 at Campus Martius Park.

Hamtramck far from a food desert Hamtramckans who’ve stopped by the Glory Market in the Town Center shopping center lately may have

Bites up for by the many ethnic mom and pop shops throughout town. Haithan Sheena, a store manager from another Glory branch, said the Hamtramck outlet closed because it couldn’t attract enough business, suggesting the big-box model is simply not conducive to residents of the 2.1-squaremile city. We ran an unofficial census — using Google Maps and our own recollections — to see how many of these markets are tucked into the dense neighborhoods. And then we took data from the U.S. census to see if, statistically speaking, Hamtramck was indeed a food desert. We found that there are roughly 30 markets throughout the city, to serve a popu-

Access to a full-service grocery store is often the hallmark when considering whether a community is a food desert. noticed a sign taped to its glass door, saying the supermarket was closed for renovations. Well, it looks like the closure is more permanent than suggested. A manager at Glory’s sister store recently confirmed with MT that the market will not be reopening. So does that make Hamtramck a “food desert”? Mayor Karen Majewski says that while two fairly large stores in town — A & C and Krown — should be able to fill in some of the gap, the city needs a good full-service grocery store. “In the most densely populated city in the state of Michigan, you would think other grocery chains would see the opportunity,” Majewski wrote via email. Indeed, access to a full-service grocery store is often the hallmark when considering whether a community is a food desert, which is defined as an urban neighborhood that lacks readyaccess to fresh, healthy, and affordable food. We tend to think of food deserts as being wrought with party stores and gas station mini-marts, where kids’ introduction to veggies come in the form of red from Flaming Hot Cheetos. While Majewski’s sentiments are echoed by many a Hamtramckan, the fact remains that much of the void in a nice supermarket in town is made

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lation of about 22,000. This leaves us with one store available per approximately every 760 residents. Granted, many of the shops are probably barely large enough to carry just a few staples — the kind of holes in the wall where a mom sends her kid to pick up a few ingredients while she’s cooking. For those wanting a shopping cart’s full of groceries, one would have to pop into one store to the other — say, from Srodek’s for the deli meats, to New Palace for freshbaked breads, to Al Haramain for veggies and spices. Plus, each market primarily serves a specific demographic, meaning that if you have a hankering for Wonder Bread and Golden Grahams, you might have a hard time finding it at, say, Deshi Bazar. So the question is, how does Hamtramck play off that? How does it take its ethnically and racially diverse consumer base and bank it off the community’s walkability to make it a unique shopping destination? What we’d like to see would be a more concerted effort among city leaders to foster a more robust pedestrian culture in Hamtramck. The city’s already got the walkability going for it, and there’s plenty to explore.

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And the winners are… The best things we ate this year by MT Staff What makes a dish outstanding? Sometimes it’s a novel combination of flavors and ingredients we’d never thought could work together. Sometimes it’s a classic done so well we wish we could take back every other iteration we’ve eaten. It can also be a very humble dish given a special tweak or just that extra bit of care that converts us instantly. Bear in mind the usual warnings that taste is subjective, that this list is the unscientific result of our limited experiences, and what stands out in our memory right now. That said, let’s review these wonders, big and small.

Chartreuse Smoked Skuna Bay salmon, $10 For this dish, the kitchen at Chartreuse takes salmon from the Pacific Northwest’s glacier-fed waters and gives it an almost pastrami-style cure that gives it a bit of a crust. But the culinary savvy doesn’t end there. The rest of the plate adds even more flavors and textures: a creamy, slightly chunky, sauce-like chevre, a spicy jalapeno jam, and crunchy grilled cornbread. Of course, since Chartreuse’s menu is seasonal, you may have to settle for the simply marvelous Lake Superior whitefish, with parsnip, pomegranate, fennel, orange, and agrodolce. Either way, you win.

Marais, Grosse Pointe Rohan duck, $36 The Rohan duck, available at Marais on both the tasting menu and a la carte, is a supreme treat. The ducks are hybrids, a cross between the most tender and flavorful breeds, from a special farm in upstate New York. The kitchen at Marais puts weeks of work into preparing them, dry-aging them for weeks, then warming them bone-in on a rotisserie, which pulls out moisture, warms up the meat, concentrates the flavor, and helps break down the amino acid structure. The final cuts of meat get expertly cooked to crisp up the flesh, before being served medium rare with pickled and raw carrots, mellow white miso imported from Japan, and a parsley emulsion.

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Detroit Institute of Bagels Chicago Bagel Dog, $5.50 Chicago Bagel Dog, an all-beef Sy Ginsberg frank wrapped in bagel dough and cooked, then sliced open and dragged through the garden, stuffed with green relish, a pickle, a slice of tomato, a sport pepper, and chopped red onion, all in a crisp poppy-seed bagel coating. You won’t leave a single bite of this bun uneaten.

The Sardine Room, Plymouth Pan-seared sea scallops, $18 The scallops have been on the menu since this Plymouth spot opened almost four years ago, but they’re still amazing. It’s a pork belly confit that gets a house-made barbecue sauce glaze, and is topped with three perfectly cooked sea scallops topped with a house-made Hollandaise sauce, with pickled onions and microgreens. The generous slab of pork doesn’t overwhelm the delicate scallops. That might have to do with the way the acidity of the pickles cuts through the richer flavors. It’s a surprising balancing act that works: It remains one of the eatery’s best sellers.

Republic Ploughman’s plate, $25 Another menu item that got rave reviews was this selection, called “a bountiful combination of rotating house-made meats, cheeses, breads, butters, and pickles.” But that doesn’t do it justice. It’s really two high-end food boards — one meat, one cheese. It rotates around the eatery’s commitment to using artisanal, house-made, and locally created, seasonally available food. It might feature bread, butter, pickles, and cheeses made in-house or coming from local producers. The proteins are made in-house too, from whole animals, such as lamb, pig, duck, rabbit, chicken, or fish. That might find its expression in a rillettes, a sort of potted, whipped meat, or in a cured fish preparation, such as rollmops made of pickled herring. It changes depending on what’s on offer. Chef Sarah Welch calls it “the most artisanal plate you can buy.”

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Trinosophes Breakfast tacos, two for $5 Trino’s has popular weekend brunches, and serves food most days, in fact. But we’re huge fans of their breakfast taco. Sure, they’ll have the crema, the peppers, eggs, and that wedge of lime, but also veggie chorizo. The menu rotates all the time, but we always hope we’ll see a breakfast taco or burrito on the menu.

Detroit Guerrilla Food Sausage and biscuit, $5 About this time last year, at Meiko Krishok’s weekly food truck night, she prepared a bit of Corridor Sausage Co.’s apple-sage sausage tucked inside her version of a hot water cornbread biscuit, topped with a green tomato, garlic, and chili salsa, all atop a bed of leafy greens. It’s the perfect tidbit to enjoy with a cup of tea around an autumn fire. Krishok always has something inventive at her Thursday night events, but this is one we’d like to see again.

Mudgie’s Deli The Barrett, $10.25 Greg Mudge’s expanding Corktown delicatessen has earned a reputation for doing deli fare right, with no shortcuts or workarounds. To call “The Barrett” a basic corned-beef deli sandwich is to engage in supreme understatement. The meat in this popular sandwich comes from Sy Ginsberg, and it’s lean, lacking the unwelcome mouthfuls of

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fat that lesser kitchens would leave in. It’s mounted on a fragrant onion roll, topped with Swiss cheese, house-made cole slaw, and Thousand Island dressing, served warm.

Linguine Delmar Linguine Delmar, $16.98 It’s billed as “a combination of fresh shrimp, scallops, and whitefish, sautéed in a zesty tomato sauce,” but that doesn’t do it justice. The dish unites seafood and tomato sauce in excellent proportion. Freshly made linguine noodles swim in the sauce with perfectly prepared ocean proteins, including shrimp, flavorful medium-size scallops, and bits of whitefish that flake apart wonderfully; what doesn’t make your mouth in one bite adds complexity to the sauce.

Zeke’s Rock and Roll BBQ Barbecue poutine, $9 This starter is a mound of fries covered with deep-fried cheese curds and pulled pork, then showered with gravy. Something magical happens to cheese curds in a deep fryer: The normally sloppy curds firm up into delicacies packed with rich flavor that explodes in the mouth. And the pulled pork is exalted by the gravy.

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December 23-29, 2015

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Why Detroit’s beloved one-off dining scene could use some fine tuning Perfecting the pop-up by Tom Perkins The 26 friends and strangers Detroit Bus Co.’s Andy Didorosi and Ashley Tyson gathered on a Hamtramck loading dock on a recent evening arrived with little indication of why the pair requested their presence or what lay ahead. There was an element of mystery. There was an element of intrigue. And

there was also a purpose, albeit an unorthodox one for a pop-up dinner. As Didorosi explains it, the food — Chinese hot pots, an interactive dish — was almost secondary. The evening he and Tyson put together was focused more on the guests, the experience, and the results of placing some of the city’s

Photo by Baby Click Media

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active personalities and entrepreneurs around a dinner table. “The focus is not on the food — it’s entirely on the people, and the food is the mechanism to connect have good time and a memorable experience,” Didorosi says of the new dinner series. “For us, it’s really about the people and bringing them to the table. Friends of ours and friends of our friends — ‘Oh, you’re doing this cool thing and so are you’ — come have an interesting experience, and socialize with people might not otherwise socialize with or sit at a dinner table with.” It’s a new purpose for a pop-up in the city, and that’s precisely what Tyson and Didorosi shot for, as they made abundantly clear in the evening’s title: “Not Another Fucking Pop-Up.” That sentiment is expressed to varying degrees across the pop-up scene, and that’s partly why Tyson and Didorosi opted to take the dinners in the direction they have. As more chefs, hotshot chefs, would-be chefs, part-time chefs, wannabe chefs, and all their brothers and sisters start throwing pop-ups, some find the scene a little watered-down, saturated, and maybe a little stale. Some of the presentations border on lazy or amateurish. Others are lacking purpose. And the scene, as one chef put it, is in need of some “fine tuning.” Didorosi says it’s a bummer to set out for one’s favorite restaurant only to discover it’s hosting a popup, and the only menu option is “some kid’s experiment” served up by

unreliable employees. “Pop-ups have almost become an industry and in general kind of suck,” Didorosi says. “I don’t think I can think of one in the last two years where I said, ‘I can’t wait to go.’” One well-loved local chef who helped pioneer the scene sees it the same way, noting that while there’s nothing wrong with anyone throwing a pop-up, offering what’s essentially a home-cooked meal for guests (half of whom are friends) and billing it as a pop-up is “watering down a cool event.” And there are consequences, he says, as it’s “risking the trust of the dining public, which is never a good thing. You need to reward the trust of the dining public.” In other words, if someone feels burned by a crummy pop-up, they’re less likely to risk their tight “dining out budget” on a pop-up next time around, no matter how good it may be. Several others we spoke with offered similar thoughts. Most seem to agree an evening should provide something new, vital, and entertaining, like those pop-ups of the scene’s early days way back in 2014. It could center around an unusual experience, some mystery, the activation of an underused space, a new type of food that’s scarce in the region, an offering from a pro chef, something as simple as a surprise bottle of wine, or something that pushes the night beyond dinner party territory. Of course, it helped that the early pop-ups were fewer in number and thrown by the tastemakers. That’s how anything new starts out before it begins to evolve. And the pop-up’s evolution isn’t inherently a bad thing. They shouldn’t and can’t only be in a wild building out in the neighborhoods. Nowadays there are venues like Revolver dedicated solely to pop-ups, and some restaurants regularly forgo their usual menu to showcase a chef. Some pop-ups offer “walk-up windows” and others provide full service. Some cooks are pop-ups regulars, while others are part-timers in it for fun. But no matter how it’s done, the general feeling is that there needs to be

E more purpose and thought. That begins with the dishes. Dorothy Hernandez is Hour Detroit’s managing editor, and co-founder of the Sarap pop-up. She and her partner offer Filipino food, which is generating a buzz, in part because incredible food comes out of the Philippines, but also because those recipes have yet to make it into many Detroit kitchens. Hernandez concurs that the scene is getting to be “overexposed” and the term pop-up is “overused,” but she still sees a lot of strong dinners around town. Sarap is among others’ favorites, and she says she does it as a creative outlet to cook up something new that’s in demand. “My partner and I are very purposeful about it,” she says. “We want to see if there’s interest in other Asian-themed pop-ups, because there is no Filipino food in Detroit. We fill a void in terms of pop-ups. There are no others, that I’m aware of, that are doing what we do. “There aren’t that many places that serve Filipino food, and those that do open close down kind of quickly ... so while there’s demand for Filipino food, there may not be sustainability in it.” But it’s not just food from a country or region that can help carry a pop-up. Injecting creativity into a menu and evening goes a long way. One recent dinner that got tongues wagging offered an all-organ menu and another ran with a Charles Dickens theme. Another chef rolled out all Faygo-infused dishes, and it’s those that Steven Reaume, the chef at Grand Trunk who runs the weekly POP dinner series above downtown Detroit’s Checker Bar, lists as standouts. “In my head, I’m trying to put the flavors together,” he says. “As a foodie I’m wondering, ‘How do they do that?’ I like the idea of the challenge of getting Faygo in all your dishes and have them be unique and different.” Reaume stresses that the pop-up scene isn’t dead, but it’s being figured out as everyone tries new things. “Maybe the bling is wearing off, but what’s happening is the scene is refining itself. It might not be the big news, but it’s still very much a part of the community,” he says. “It’s evolving and we’re looking back at what works, and now looking at what’s a good path forward.” He also points out that food has become entertainment, as is evidenced by everything from the rise of the celebrity chef to “food porn” taking over Instagram. Thus, branding is some-

feature thing to consider, and the importance of thoroughly thinking through every aspect, from the invites to recipes to dish presentation to marketing to entertainment so the event is “fabulous, fun, interesting, and curious” can’t be overstated. “You need to really put all those pieces together to sell something good,” Reaume says. He also offered somewhat of a counterpoint to those lamenting that the scene is saturated with unoriginal newbies. Although there might be a few green chefs taking a run at pop-ups with cringeworthy results, accessibility and developing new channels to success for those in the minors isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The traditional route to the top — work your way up through a kitchen for who knows how many years — can hold back talent. “I think it’s important to still remember the pop-up scene as it has been over the last year or two has given the opportunity [for amateur chefs] to try their hand in the service industry and to get out in the public when they’re young ... instead of getting in a restaurant kitchen and moving up the ranks,” Reaume says. “Now you have the opportunity to have your 15 minutes right away, to try to make it without a big amount of overhead.” But, ultimately, cooks need to make sure they’re providing their guests with a positive experience. Jesse Knott, aka Corktown Jesse, is one of the scene’s regulars. He pins some of the responsibility on the venues and restaurants that hold pop-ups for not essentially vetting their chefs or making sure the event is worth it, though Knott stresses he isn’t the final judge on that matter. Still, like others, he sees consequences for the entire scene when the market is saturated with mediocre performances. “Going to a pop-up is a sort of a pain in the ass for a customer, because they have to wait in a line, pay the same prices for questionable-quality food, so it should be a priority for a cook or anyone doing a pop-up to absolutely step up their game and make it worth customers’ time and money,” Knott says. “It should be pretty obvious that if people go to a couple bad pop-ups, it’s going to leave in a bad taste in their mouth.”

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D RINK Korbel Champagne Brut 12% ABV Come New Year’s Eve there’s some pressure to pick out the perfect bottle of bubbly. With so many to choose from it’s easy to become confused. Here’s a tip: Stick with Korbel. The Brut is a California champagne that’s smooth and refined, balanced and light-tasting. Spritely aromas of citrus and cinnamon roll lead into crisp citrus flavors and vanilla with just a hint of strawberry. Don’t think this bottle should be kept corked until the clock strikes 12. The award-winning champagne pairs well with chicken, seafood, and pizza as well as with fruits and mild cheese, so we suggest popping it open early in the evening. If you’re looking to get creative, think about making a champagne cocktail. Shake one ounce of Woodford Reserve bourbon and two ounces of blueberry juice with ice and strain into a martini glass and top off with Korbel for a sparkling potable.

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D RINK

raisethebar

Photo by Kelley O’Neill

Get your kicks Wayne bar has something for everyone by Melissa Hoffman coming back for more. “I’m really fortunate to have my staff. The girls have been with us for years. This is a place where you’re likely to see the same face for a long time. The girls know who you are and what you want to drink,” he says. Of course, having a well-stocked bar doesn’t hurt. US 12 is known for having plenty of premium bottles behind the bar as well as a great selection of Michigan craft beers. Gocaj strikes a great balance between popular big-brand beers and locally made brews, 34824 W. Michigan Ave., Wayne; 734-722-3170 featuring both on the bar’s 12 tap handles. Open: 10 a.m.-2 a.m. Monday-Saturday, While the bar is a noon to 2 a.m. Sunday casual place to grab lunch or an after-work drink during the dancing and entertainment on the weekweek, it morphs into a more club-like ends and we have a VIP area for birthday and bachelorette parties and other special atmosphere come the weekend. There’s always a DJ spinning or a live band playoccasions.” ing and plenty of room for dancing. To say the place has something for evSpeaking of live music, US 12 has eryone is an understatement; and the bar attracted quite a few widely recognized attracts a wide demographic — anyone names in the music business. Finger 11 from 21 to 71, according to Gocaj. and Fuel have both taken the bar’s stage “We’re a place where friends come and local bands like Rusty Lunchbox and together and have a good time,” he says. Pistol Day Parade both regularly perform “It’s a safe environment where everyone there. knows our rules. We treat everybody with Come New Year’s Eve, US 12 will be respect. This is everybody’s bar.” turning their regular programming up a More than the great menu and amazcouple notches. According to Gocaj, the ing beverage program, it’s the staff’s rapbar is offering premium food specials like port with their customers that keeps folks filet mignon, and DJ Mark EP, Kid Rock’s coming back. official crew DJ, will be spinning through“It’s the relationships we build with out the night. There will be free party people and the way we treat everybody favors, a champagne toast at midnight, right,” Gocaj says of what keeps his cusand giveaways all night long. tomers loyal. “It’s a place where everyone knows my name. They know who I am and they can come talk to me whether it’s just for fun or for an issue.” letters@metrotimes.com The bar’s familiar staff also keeps folks @metrotimes The bar now known as US 21 has been in operation for nearly four decades, though it hasn’t always gone by the same name. General manager Scott Gocaj says he and his team took over around 15 years ago and have been working to create a safe, fun, entertaining environment ever since. “We’re a modern-day Cheers,” Gocaj says. “We’re fortunate and thankful to have a lot of dedicated regulars. We’re open for lunch service daily, we have a great happy hour, and dinner. We do

US 12

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Livewire

This week’s suggested musical events by MT staff

Sunday, 12/27 Gospel brunch @ UFO Factory

Here is one delicious brunch option where you will not have to wait in line, nor wait too long for your food. It’s a limited but very tasty option, with vegan and vegetarian options. And yes, a vegan waffle dog is actually supremely tasty. DJ Yeti, aka our own music editor Mike McGonigal (who has compiled more than a dozen gospel reissues, has a weekly gospel radio show on CJAM, and just received a Knight Arts grant to oversee reissues of Detroit gospel records) plays a variety of killer gospel jams for the entirety of the brunch. UFO is actually serving brunch every Sunday now, following up on the continued success of this event, which occurs the last Sunday of every month.

Runs from noon-4 p.m.; 2110 Trumbull St., Detroit; facebook.com/ ufofactorydetroit; no admission charge.

Wednesday, 12/23 Skeemin’ No Goods @ Small’s

Saturday, 12/26 Woodman’s Holiday Show

Saturday, 12/26

Black Christmas 2015

Eliza Neals, Reefermen

@ The Majestic

@PJ’s Lager House

This year Black Christmas will be bigger than ever. All your favorite headliners are set to make an appearance including the Suicide Machines, Mustard Plug, and the Black Dahlia Murder. But don’t forget, this bill offers 17 bands for as little as 25 bucks! Show up early for local psychobilly favorites the Koffin Kats and their delightful stand-up bass. The vastly underrated Multi Grain, who have been on the scene for quite some time, will be there for their last show ever.

Are the Reefermen the best cover band ever? We think they just might be. If you’re already familiar with their distinctive renditions of classic rock and blues standards, you’ll love Eliza Neals and the Narcotics. In the psychedelic mix of screaming lead guitar, swirling keyboards and soulful vocals, the ensemble draw obvious comparisons to the likes of Janis, Exile era Stones, and the Doors. We think that’s what they were going for. White Shag also appear for even more driving rhythms, female lead vocals, and Nugent-esque guitar riffs.

@ New Dodge Lounge

With a membership that includes alumni of the Necros and the Paybacks, it is perhaps unsurprising that the Skeemin’ Nogoods rock as hard as they do. Those of us who are proud of our short attention spans, and who enjoy power chords and guitar shredding equally, should definitely check out their 2004 selftitled release. Fellow travelers in rock the Raw Dogs will also be there, with a sound that successfully fuses punk, classic rock, and the less precious aspects of ’80s hair metal.

Doors at 8 p.m.; 10339 Conant St., Hamtramck; smallsbardetroit. com; no cover.

What better way to wind down from the holiday madness than joining the Woodman family for a very special show on the day after the big day. Listening to their upbeat folk rock, it is almost as though the Carter family found themselves in the ’60s, picked up a Mosrite guitar, and stopped being so bummed out about everything. Check out their studio track “The Wide Eyes of Brandon” for a great example of their sound, as well as its fantastic B-side “You’ve Lost Your Way.”

Doors at 9 p.m.; 8850 Joseph Campau St., Hamtramck.

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Doors at 6 p.m.; 4140 Woodward Ave., Detroit; majesticdetroit. com; $30.

Doors at 9 p.m.; 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; pjslagerhouse.com; $10.

Wednesday, 12/30 Get Real, Shiba San @ Russell Industrial Center

The latest electronic supergroup from the Midwest is Get Real, which brings together Green Velvet and Claude Vonstroke. The Dirtybird label founder Vonstroke and the absolute Chicago house legend Green Velvet are together going to blow your panties right off your body. This is deep, dirty, and incredibly fun music. If you cannot have the most fun at this event, there might not be any hope for you (sorry).

Doors at 8 p.m.; 1600 Clay St., Detroit; 313-872-4000; $40.

Saturday, 12/20 Volume Saturday Holiday Party

Sunday, 12/27

Tuesday, 12/29

Billowing, Haunted

Crossroads Ceili

Led Zeppelin 2

@ The Getup

@ the Ark

@ Saint Andrew’s Hall

We never do this, but we liked Fred Thomas’ descriptions of the music for this show he booked by his friends that we’re going to steal his words. Billowing is described as “splintered drone and caustic fog; two new records available here for the first time. This band plays twice a year tops!” Haunted is “performance pieces by Emily Roll looking deep into the abyss, shrugging, throwing shade the size of an aquarium. Wooden Highway provides “new jams from Michelle Strange Brew and Brad,” while Dominic Coppola offers “glistening ambience where dawn is always out of reach.” Doors at 6:30 p.m.; 215 S. State St., Ann Arbor; no admission; all ages.

Bust out the tin whistle for this annual extravaganza of Celtic folk in Ann Arbor. Performers are set to include Michigan’s Behind the Times as well as Irish Music Hall of Fame inductee Mick Gavin. The music will also be accompanied by some of the best Irish Dancers in the business. To complete your evening, the organizers are offering a special $25 dinner and show combination, which includes an entrée at Conor O’Neill’s Irish Pub.

This is not Led Zeppelin II, as in the album originally released in October 1969, which started out with “Whole Lotta Love.” This is Led Zeppelin 2 – The Live Experience, a tribute band to the British blunder busting masters of mystical stadium rock ’n‘ roll blues. LZ2 looks the part. And they sound the part pretty darn well, which is no easy feat at all — you try and hit those damn notes. You probably can’t even get there if you squeeze your lemons first. No less an authority than Jim DeRogatis proclaimed them “As good a Zep as Zep ever did back in the day” in the Chicago Sun-Times.

@ V Nightclub

You probably know that every Saturday night is a killer banging rager party in the style of killer banging rager Saturday night parties in Las Vegas, here at V Nightclub. This Saturday is a great time to blow off any residual holiday steam you might have. Cold drinks, hot people, a banging sound system, and your favorite loud dance music thanks to resident DJ Captn20 (whose Star Wars themed birthday party the other night was a total smash hit) — what else do you want in your life? Pro tip: You might not want to wear a Christmas sweater, even ironically.

Doors at 9 p.m.; 1777 Third St., Detroit; mgmgranddetroit.com/vnightclub; 313-465-1650.

Doors at 7 p.m.; 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; theark.org; $15 or $25 dinner/show combination.

Doors at 8 p.m.; 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; 313-961-8961; $12.

metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

feature

Big Story

News

Upfront

M usic

What’s Going On

Be a hobo and go with me

Eat

An archival interview with blind street performer and composer Moondog

Classifieds

Culture

Arts

Watch

Music

Drink

by Mike McGonigal

In this brief pause between the end of the holiday gift-giving and the start of the New Year huzzah, I thought it would be fun to revisit something I wrote for the defunct newspaper New York Press back in 1997. It’s never been re-run in print, never gone up online, and there simply aren’t a lot of interviews with Louis Hardin aka Moondog (1916-1999) out there. I’ve made the case before (in one of my first blog posts, soon after I began the job of music editor for Metro Times one year ago) that Moondog’s n Derrick Thompson

music should be repurposed as a sort of secular holiday music that doesn’t suck. A feature-length documentary on the composer is imminent, and if you don’t own any of his records, I highly recommend the double album compiling early material that the label Honest Jon’s released in 2004, The Viking of Sixth Avenue.

Ask any New York City old-timer about Moondog — odds are his or her face will light up with recognition.

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From the late ’40s well into the ’60s the affable blind man could be found along Sixth Avenue, between 51st and 56th. A large man, he cut an imposing figure with his long beard, handmade leather poncho, and clothing, clutching his large staff and various funkylooking instruments. He befriended Leonard Bernstein, Marlon Brando, Julie Andrews, Diane Arbus (she snapped him several times), Charlie Parker. Moondog made his living on the streets for many years. He’d reel off poems, sell mimeographed copies of

his book The Art of the Canon, collect money for playing his music. After famed columnist Walter Winchell wrote about him, small companies began to release 78s of his music, then larger labels released full-length albums of orchestral work, and he became an icon of the burgeoning counterculture. He performed in concert with Lenny Bruce and Tiny Tim and appears in Conrad Brooks’ artsy movie Chappaqua alongside William Burroughs and Allen Ginsberg. On their first record in 1968, Big Brother

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December 23-29, 2015

M and the Holding Company covered his “All Is Loneliness.” The last few years have seen a revival of interest in Moondog’s music, among indie rockers and elsewhere. English hipsters from the Too Pure label, Moonshake and Stereolab, have sampled his distinctive rhythms. The fanzine Ugly Things did a major piece on him a few years back, and in every interview I’ve ever read with Run On’s cerebral guitarist Alan Licht, he’s name-checked Moondog (the best music his old band Love Child ever did was a 7-inch on Forced Exposure called “Love Child Plays Moondog.”) And in 1989, B.A.M. presented two evenings devoted to his compositions. Knowing all this, it still came as a shock when the phone rang late last November: “Do you want to interview Moondog?” “Will I need a Ouija board?” was all I could think to reply. Like a lot of Americans, I had no idea he was still among the living.

Eccentricity to notoriety The thing about Moondog is he’s been lumped in with all these countercultural freakweirds and margin-walkers. Most people assume that Moondog’s music is gonna be art brut koo-koo nonsense or like Harry Partch Lite or something. In the tradition of the American visionary artist, Moondog has worn the cloak of eccentricity to attain a certain notoriety. Sure, he did perform in the streets, he did dress funky, and he incorporated urban field recordings and his lively poetry into his compositions, but his music is nothing if not a total joy. Delightfully accessible, interwoven melodies float atop shuffling beats, accompanied by washes of strings or maybe lush blending vocal harmonies, and perhaps punctuated by sweetly stampeding saxophones, or maybe a brash-sounding men’s chorus — it depends on the piece. “Well, music is no good unless it has a melody. Also, I don’t write atonal music, it’s all tonal. Tonality plus rhythm plus melody is what makes it for me; you have to have those three components I think,” the no-bullshit, extremely jovial, well-spoken gentlemen explained over the phone from the Ruhr Valley in Germany, his home since 1974. At 81, he sounded very youthful (“my music definitely keeps me young, my complete devotion to my music”) and spoke with a classic American Midwesterner accent. Blinded in his teens when a dynamite cap blew up in his face, this son of Episcopalian missionaries received a cursory musical education from the Iowa School for the Blind in the 1930s. The rest of his musical teachings came from a lifetime

feature

spent learning from books and from listening. In the ’40s and ’50s Moondog was privileged to be the only attendant at rehearsals of the New York Philharmonic, which taught him a lot about how orchestras put sounds together. Moondog was profoundly influenced by Native American music during a 1948 excursion West, where he was exposed to the ritual music of Navajo and Blackfoot Native American tribes, and from earlier experiences. “When I was about 6 my dad, who was a missionary, went to a convention at the Arapaho Reservation in Wyoming and at that time they were doing the Sun Dance. Chief Yellow Cap let me sit on his lap and he gave me a drumstick and let me beat on the tom-tom. And that’s how it started. I learned the running beat, which is bom-bom-bom-bom, and the walking beat, bom-bom-bom. And I used those rhythms on my newest record, Sax Pax For A Sax (Atlantic) while I was playing a big bass drum.”

The ‘heartbeat’ His music is so heavily rhythmic, it’s the glue that holds it together and makes it instantly recognizable as his, whether voices, strings, or saxophones float atop the drums. “Oh yeah, it’s the heartbeat, you know, it’s universal and timeless. And it has to have that beat I think. Although I do write music where there is no beat. But where a beat is needed it’s certainly put in there. Like in the song “New Amsterdam” from Sax Pax that’s the Indian walking beat. But the musicians don’t like to hear a booming bass drum, they always like to have me put tape and the drum-heads and such. But I say ‘I don’t want to sound like Buddy Rich!’ I always want the booming sound, which is what the Indians like. Hell, those drums are about two meters across, taking up one whole hide, you know? They used to use buffalo, now I guess they have to use bull hides.” In New York City, he adopted the moniker Moondog in honor of a childhood pet with whom he used to howl

78 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

at the moon. “In ’49 I started playing in the doorways,” Moondog explains, “and developing what I call my snaketime rhythm, 5/4 and 7/4, those kind of rhythms. I had a big drum and then on top a little one. But squatting down in the doorways it was a bit too high for me, so I made some triangular drums, which were lower down and much better. I called them Trimbas; I used those on a lot of my recordings. [Other instruments include] the Oo, a little triangular harp with piano strings on it. I’d hit that with a clavice with my left hand, and played the drum with my right hand, using a maraca. And the Tuji — I think that was the one that had a board with dowels sticking up, of different lengths. It sounded like running your finger along a comb, hitting different pitches.” In the song “New Amsterdam” off Sax Pax for a Sax, the chorus sings “I’m the better for having met her.” Does he still have fond memories of NYC, then? “Oh yeah. She’s a great lady. I got all my breaks from her.” Once upon a time, guidebooks steered tourists toward this striking and friendly character, who dressed in Viking regalia to express fondness for his European origins. How different the streets of New York must have been then, in the ’50s and ’60s, when a guidebook might say anything positive with regards to street performers. “I hear that Giuliani — is that your mayor, Giluiani? — he’s cleaned up the streets and driven my type and the hookers off the street. So I don’t think it would be quite the same anymore,” Moondog muses. “New York has its... attractions” he says, adding that “I hear they’ve got an ice cream parlor now called Moondog, the only trouble is they charge about four dollars for a serving.” Typically, a catchy, strangely syncopated (5/4) beat is introduced, then a sugary harmony is played or sung on top of it. Then a series of melodies are repeated, staggered one after the other. All Moondog music is strictly composed and performed according to ancient rules of counterpoint. Counterpoint is the act of combining multiple melodies

at the same time; it’s the technical basis of polyphonous sound, where a bunch of melodies are woven together to form a pleasing texture. The musical form known as the canon can achieve mazelike contrapuntal complexity. A canon’s when a particular melody’s heard in one voice and then repeated by one or more voices — e.g. “Row Your Boat,” “Three Blind Mice,” etc. The canon’s the basic form Moondog continuously returns to; he’s written a book about ’em, as well as over 300 canons in the form of madrigals (a particularly mannered type of rhyme scheme). “The older I get, the more critical I get of everything, including my own music. I read a book in my 20s which said if you don’t master counterpoint, you’ll never be a composer. So I started studying counterpoint by myself because I didn’t have a chance to study it in school.”

Unfinished business Moondog has become such an adept composer and critical listener that every time he hears Bach, he winces at all the alleged “mistakes” the guy made. “They always said in the books that this composer did this thing and this thing and it was all so great. And the more I analyzed it, the more I saw that they were breaking all kinds of basic rules, in particular Bach. Bach made more mistakes than anybody else. Half the time he did it correctly, but the rest of the time he really went overboard you know. I always think that he didn’t have time to analyze his work after he wrote it; he wrote thousands of pieces. Now, when I write a piece, that’s only about one-third of the work. The rest is to analyze it and eliminate any mistakes you have in the voicing, in the leading of the parts. That’s where the time comes in. It’s very boring to analyze your own work, but it’s very necessary.” The ultimate fruit of his love affair with counterpoint is surely “Overtone Tree,” an unfinished composition Moondog has been steadily working on for more than 20 years. “Overtone Tree” is a thousand bars long.

metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

M Though approximately 40 minutes in length, it’s so complex that in order to be properly performed, four conductors will be needed — three sub-conductors and one grand conductor. Until “Overtone Tree” is recorded, Moondog fans will have to content themselves with the jazz-infused Sax Pax for a Sax. A multiple pun, the title refers to Adolph Sax the instrument’s inventor, and the Latin word for peace. Originally released in 1994 on a German label, it’s a driving, strange concoction, fueled by truly inspired playing by Tim Redpath’s London Saxophonic. Moondog insistently bangs away as usual on bass drum and bongos. In addition to the London Saxophonic, there’s Danny Thompson (formerly of U.K. folkrockers Pentangle) on contra bass and a booming male chorus that sounds very Cecil B. DeMille and includes Pete Hammill (formerly of U.K. prog-rockers Van Der Graaf Generator.) It all sounds extremely nifty, nattily contemporary despite the allusions to centuries of sound, from church music to early musicals to Duke Ellington. “I don’t mean to be arrogant by saying this, but the only music that relaxes me

DE TROIT LID OFF. with the

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80 December December23-29, 23-29,2015 2015 | | metrotimes.com metrotimes.com 80

feature and satisfies me is my own, because I know that I’m not going to insult my own ears, you know,” Moondog says. “All the music on Sax Pax, as far as I know there’s not one technical mistake in the counterpoint, and that’s so important. That’s why I’m against improvising, because the soloist can’t possibly know what the other guys are going to play and the chord changes don’t always fit the melody. And that’s all because he has no oversight of what they’re doing at that moment. The only improvising I could accept would be a drummer accompanying one instrument. The instrument couldn’t possibly make any contrapuntal mistakes if he’s doing a solo by himself,” he enthuses. After I mention that lots of Sax Pax sounds improvised to these ears, in particular the re-recorded “Bird’s Lament,” he beams back. “Thank you! That’s the highest praise! For me to have worked so closely, so strictly, within the rules of counterpoint, and to still have the music sound as if it were improvised, that is the most I could ask for.”

letters@metrotimes.com @metrotimes

The

Old i

m a i M

PATIO ON OUR S E IR F N O B NIGHTLY

FrIday, decemBer 25TH Merry ChristMas DJ Santa Go Funk YourSelF wSG/ the SexY elveS 10PM/ Doors @ 9PM NeW years eve the Old MiaMi danCe Party DJ’S, FooD, ChaMPagne ToasT GooD ol’ FaShioneD Fun 10PM/ Doors @ 9PM *HolIday HoUrs* OPen daily noon - 2aM ChristMas eve noon - MiDnighT ChristMas day noon - 2aM new year’s eve noon - 4aM

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December 23-29, 2015

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82 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

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December 23-29, 2015

M usic

feature

Helping Kevin Ransom The Dearborn journalist falls on hard times by MT staff The holiday season is a time for friends and family. But it is also a time for giving, and the time of year when those in need are at their most vulnerable. It is with this in mind that we at the Metro Times feel compelled to turn our attention to one of our own — journalist Kevin Ransom. At the height of his career, there were few Michigan-based writers who could author a lead as memorable and captivating as Ransom. Long after his talents allowed him to ascend to some of the crowing heights of journalistic accomplishment, he is in danger of losing everything. Today “everything” to Ransom mostly consists of an extremely modest bungalow in Dearborn, originally built by his grandparents in 1949. He bought the property in 2002 after the death of his grandmother, and it was recently valued at less than $80,000. Disabled and with no source of income, Ransom is running out of money to meet his most basic of needs, and still far short of the fundraising goal needed to save his home. Ransom’s last work appeared in the Ann Arbor News in 2013. For the last two years, he has lived with both chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and severe obstructive sleep apnea. For those with CFS, daily life is accompanied by a constant sense of exhaustion. But when Ransom finally succumbs to the impulse to sleep, he is unable to actually achieve a state of rest, before his other condition causes the supply of blood and oxygen to his brain to be disrupted and he again finds himself awake. Caught in a tug-of-war between CFS and sleep apnea, Ransom is also in need of surgery for a hernia, and arthritis has exacerbated the chronic pain that usually accompanies CFS. Long gone are the days when Ransom would enjoy cycling or walking in the leafy enclaves of southeast Michigan. Now when he is given a ride to buy groceries from a friend or neighbor (he can no longer afford a car), he requires the use of a mobility scooter to assist him in the simple act of navigating store aisles. Before the dramatic decline in his health, Ransom’s story was one of personal and professional triumph. As a general assignment reporter who spe-

cialized in both music and auto writing, Ransom’s evolution as a journalist mirrored that of the area he grew up in. When we exchanged emails with him, he described a life that many Michigan natives can relate to, during which he would go on to produce a truly meaningful body of work. His first live music experience was seeing Bob Seger perform at Aquinas High School in the summer of 1970. Like many young people at the time, he was first introduced to the work of writers like Hunter S. Thompson and Lester Bangs in the pages of Rolling Stone and Creem. But the young Ransom would ultimately distinguish himself from his peers, by seeing his work published in the pages in both magazines, alongside that of his literary idols. While studying at Western Michigan University, his writing first was picked up in 1977 by the Western Herald. Writing music and film reviews for the Herald and freelancing for the Kalamazoo Gazette, Ransom found himself in the midst of one of the most exciting and important times in music history. After witnessing the transcendent live experience of new wave acts like the Talking Heads and Patti Smith, as well as seeing artists like Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan at the height of their powers, Ransom decided to combine his twin passions of writing and rock music. The list of great musicians who have sat down with Ransom is extensive. His interview with Robbie Robertson of the Band appeared in the May 1995 issue of Guitar Player magazine. In 1999, he interviewed Elvis Costello (whose album This Year’s Model Ransom credits with helping motivate him to become a rock critic) as part of his lengthy tenure freelancing for The Detroit News. After contributing to national publications like Rolling Stone in the 1990s, Ransom’s most prolific body of work was produced for the Ann Arbor News from 2001 to 2013. As a fixture in the local music scene, local musicians pulled together to organize a benefit for Ransom earlier this year at the Ark. Ransom still holds the venue and the acts that perform there in extremely high regard, and was touched by the

84 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

way they have come together to support him. “The way the community has responded thus far really says a lot about the generosity of spirit of the music and media communities, and the Detroit/ Ann Arbor community in general, and the way they pull together to help out a fellow writer or musician or anyone who is facing hardship, due to being disabled, or losing their home, or losing their job,” he says. “I feel very grateful to be part.” But despite the overwhelming display of appreciation and solidarity by his friends and colleagues, Ransom’s struggle is not over. His funding page is

still short around 30 percent short of its target goal of $28,000. This Christmas, the Metro Times encourages anyone who enjoys music journalism to show it by helping out a fellow traveler. Ransom has devoted his life to promoting great local artists, has made a lasting contribution to the scene in Michigan, and is truly deserving of your support. Contribute to Ransom’s fund, which is titled “Help Kevin, Disabled, Save His Home,” at www.gofundme.com/ymy3bw.

letters@metrotimes.com @metrotimes

metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

nowhearthis

n Babymetal

Recently added

Mark your calendar today for these upcoming shows Tickets are now on sale for these events. Jan. 29-30, 2016, Ann Arbor Folk Fest with Richard Thompson, Yo Le Tengo, Joan Baez, and many more at the Hill Auditorium; theark. org; General public tickets are $37.50 and $50 for a single night; $67.50 and $90 for series tickets. Feb. 12, 2016, Jim Norton at Royal Oak Music Theatre; royaloakmusictheatre. com; Tickets are $29.50 in advance, $35 day of show. Feb. 16, 2016, Disappears at PJs Lager House; pjslagerhouse.com; Cover is $8. Feb. 19, 2016, Fetty Wap at the Fillmore; thefillmoredetroit.com; Tickets at $25; $30; $35; $45. Feb. 23, 2016, Wavves, Best Coast at the Majestic Theatre; majesticdetroit. com; Tickets are $27.50 in advance, $30 day of show. March 20, 2016, AC/DC at the Palace of Auburn Hills; palacenet.com; Tickets start at $75. March 25, 2016, Kirk Franklin at the Fox Theatre; olympiaentertainment.com; Tickets at $25, $35, $50, and $75. March 24, 2016, Rihanna at the Palace of Auburn Hills; aeglive.com; Tickets from $30.50 to $151. April 15, 2016, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals at Royal Oak

86 December December 23-29, 23-29, 2015 2015 || metrotimes.com metrotimes.com 86

Music Theatre; royaloakmusictheatre. com; Tickets are $45 in advance, $50 day of show; Reserved seating $75. April 25, 2016, Justin Bieber at the Palace of Auburn Hills; aeglive.com; Tickets from $50.50 to $126. May 4, 2016, Animal Collective at Royal Oak Music Theatre; royaloakmusictheatre.com; Tickets are $25 in advance, $30 day of show; Reserved seating $45. May 11, 2016, Babymetal at the Fillmore; thefillmoredetroit.com; Tickets at $25; $39.50; $49.50. May 21, 2016, The 1975 at Meadow Brook Amphitheatre; palacenet.com; Tickets are $49.95 and $39.95 in the pavilion and $29.95 on the lawn. May 23, 2016, First Annual Trip Metal Fest; tripmetalfest.com. May 28-30, 2016, Movement Detroit 2016; movement.us; General admission tickets for the weekend are $135; VIP weekend tickets are $300. Sept. 6 & 7, 2016, Adele at The Palace of Auburn Hills; palacenet.com; Tickets at $149.50, $89.50, $79.50, $59.50, and $39.50.

letters@metrotimes.com @metrotimes

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31

NEW YEAR'S EVE BASH

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December 23-29, 2015

feature

Museum celebrates 50 years of Friends of Prints, Drawings, and Photographs by Lee DeVito Since its founding in 1965-66 as the Print and Drawing Club, what is now known as the Friends of Prints, Drawings, and Photographs has acquired hundreds of works on paper for the Detroit Institute of Arts. It’s one of the DIA’s many auxiliary support groups — essentially a group of DIA members who are appreciators of a particular type of art. The museum pays respects to the group with Fifty Years of Collecting: Detroit Institute of Arts’ Friends of Prints, Drawings, and Photographs Anniversary Exhibition, which features work from expressionist Edvard Munch to photographer Robert Frank. It’s the final exhibition organized by Nancy Sojka, the curator of prints and drawings and department head of Prints, Drawings, and Photographs (who is retiring in January after 27 years with the museum.) We spoke with Sojka by phone to learn more. Metro Times: Can you tell us about the origins of this group? Nancy Sojka: It started out as a drawing and print club. Their mission largely has been to support the work of the department by helping to add to the DIA’s collection. The collecting has occurred primarily via four major ways. By 1968, the group always had a purchase fund, so works of art have been acquired by purchase. But the majority have been gifts. Then in 1996 there was the creation of something called Summer Soirees. This summer will be the 20th year — which is wonderfully coincidental too. Every other year there are a series of many parties at homes, studios, and interesting venues in Detroit. All the proceeds from those parties go to the collection. Also, in past years there have been 20 times when artists have been commissioned to make an edition of prints for sale to the membership. So every one of those is a commission too. So the show has almost 120 objects. It is pretty impressive — and it’s all works of art acquired because of the initiative of this friends group.

Arts

A rts A support group

MT: Do all the departments their own support group? Sojka: At the different times the departments have been established, they established these auxiliary support groups. There are some who have already celebrated their 50th birthday, and some that will. And they all do various things. By and large, they do a lot of programming. They do a lot of lectures, and a lot of support of DIA exhibitions.

MT: Can you talk about some of the work in this new show? Sojka: I think what kind of has Detroit Institute of Arts revealed itself is the group has been more n “Lovers,” Edvard Munch, 1896, lithograph. Founders Society Purchase, Drawing devoted to art of the and Print Club Fund. 20th century and the 21st century than it has to older art. art, or American art, or Asian art — a people should know about the show? One of the first things that the group specialty area within the museum Sojka: What I really like bought was a German expressionist where if you wanted to you could get about the show is that it’s a beautiful poster of a 1908 Die Brücke exhibimore deeply involved in that particu- testament to what people have been tion. Just this year, the group used lar art that you like best. doing for 50 years. So you come to the purchase fund to buy rare color the show, and it’s physical. It’s real. lithograph by James McNeill WhisMT: What’s the process like when It’s quite beautiful. I think it’s a nice tler, which was something we didn’t art is given to the museum as a gift? and impressive testimonial to the have in the collection. The gamut is Sojka: In any situation, it’s group. It’s nice. It’s like, “Wow, we huge. identifying an object out there — did this? Job well done!” And what whether from an artist or a gallery or a beautiful time in the history of the MT: Why does the collection a purchase made from funds from museum, in our kind of Renaissance skew to those centuries? the group — it’s the same as any time. What a good time to be 50, Sojka: I think a lot of it has purchase made from the museum. as part of the 130 anniversary of the to do with the time the club was esIt doesn’t matter where it’s from or museum. It’s a beautiful position tablished in 1965-66. A lot of people who’s offering it — there’s a formal for an institution with a wonderful, were doing what they do now, which review process with every acquisihopeful future. is collecting artists of their time. tion. Even if the director wanted But Detroit has always been very to make an acquisition, he would Fifty Years of Collecting: Detroit interested in contemporary art, and I have to go through the formal steps. Institute of Arts’ Friends of Prints, think that comes forward. There are There’s a series of committees that it Drawings, and Photographs Anniapproximately 220 members now. has to be approved by. The only reaversary Exhibition is on view at the Thirteen or 14 of them are active artson we acquire things is if they add Detroit Institute of Arts; 5200 Woodists, and all of them are represented value to the collection, and be able to ward Ave., Detroit; 313-833-7900; dia. in the show. But at the same time, teach about some aspect of art that org; free with museum admission and there’s an international scope. you want to present. We have things free for residents of Wayne Oakland in the collection because we want to and Macomb counties; runs until MT: Who are the members? show them. And that still remains June 18, 2016. Sojka: Anyone can be a memthe M.O. of the collection, because it ber of the group as long as you’re will make the museum stronger and a DIA member. All it does is give better. ldevito@metrotimes.com people who really love a particular @leedevito kind of art — whether it’s European MT: Anything else you think

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metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

C ULTURE

FEATURE

New Year’s heave

How not to blow it on New Year’s Eve by Michael Jackman Ah, New Year’s Eve. Is there a holiday more irresponsible? For several hours, from coast to coast, the United States becomes one noisemaking, bingedrinking, screaming throng ready to ring in the new. We’ve all had that midnight kiss to the sweet strains of “Auld Lang Syne” and felt good about the future. But it was usually because we’d just downed 10 shots of 151-proof liquor, and we were going to wake up with a mind-bending three-day hangover that would make a Marine sergeant whimper. Well, it doesn’t have to be like that. You can moderate a little. I say all this as a person who likes to drink and has gotten wild from time to time. Yes, a drink or two can loosen a person up and allow them to have more fun than they normally would. But just because two drinks make you feel better, don’t think 13 of them will make you feel 650 percent better yet. You might wake up in a jail cell, a hospital, or, worse still, the cemetery. Here are some thoughts on holiday drinking. The road of excess New Year’s Eve used to be our one, big, super-drinky holiday. But nowadays, we’ve done that very same thing

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to every holiday in America. Almost every authentic celebration originally themed to food or costumes or gifts is now marketed as a booze-fueled binge. The green beer and bead necklaces of St. Patrick’s Day are one thing, but when did Cinco de Mayo become Drinko de Mayo? More and more, every holiday seems to come with its own themed beer packaging, down to bottles of whiskey emblazoned with the U.S. flag that seem to appear just in time for Veterans Day. Some people trace it back to 1996, when we began seeing ads for spirits on television again. Gone were the days when being a party animal was something slightly subversive. Madison Avenue traded in the anarchic Bluto for a smarmy bartender with a three-day beard pouring trademark liquors for pout-lipped, doe-eyed girls. In short, partying use to mean something, man. It meant breaking the rules. Usually nothing big, but at least the police showing up. In a strange turnabout, drinking has become a badge of consumerism, and the establishment seems to be shouting, “Chug! Chug! Chug!” (With a little voice at the end urging you to “drink responsibly,” of course.)

metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

C ULTURE ‘Amateur night’ The good news is that Americans don’t seem to be drinking much more than they have. But the real danger of a holiday like New Year’s Eve is a phenomenon known as “amateur night.” Normally reasonable people who do not drink a great deal suddenly feel the pressure to tie one on. You see, just like eating, drinking is social. If you’re around people who are burning through bottles of tequila, it’s only natural to drink a little more than usual. (Or about five times as much.) And that is where the trouble begins. There are roughly four stages to drinking. The first is the loosening of simple inhibitions: Somebody who is typically wound a little bit tightly starts to relax, to join conversations, and laugh more. This is where you want to stay. Of course, there is stage two: That’s where our reveler begins to make off-color jokes or cringe-inducing admissions. The third stage is the loss of simple motor skills: fumbling with money and knocking over glasses. The fourth stage? It’s totally stinko. The person will collapse, fall asleep, vomit, or otherwise become too inebri-

FEATURE ated to move. But a certain, significant percentage of people get blackout drunk: They are still drinking, walking, talking, doing things, but they are in a dreamlike state they will have difficulty remembering in the morning. This is the most dangerous stage of all, because somebody will tackle things they shouldn’t, like trying to drive, or picking out which person to go home with. Stay away from stage four drunkenness if you can. Alcohol and firearms Sure, it always seems like a good idea to fire shots into the air at midnight on New Year’s Eve, but it’s not recommended. In most communities, discharging a firearm is prohibited, which means if you’re screaming and pumping lead into the sky like Keanu Reeves in Point Break, you may be breaking the law. We also hear they do come down, which means some poor bastard’s roof may be damaged, or you might crack somebody’s windshield. Also, if you’re firing a semi-automatic handgun, you might get sloppy and place your thumb behind the upper receiver; that can

92 December December 23-29, 23-29, 2015 2015 || metrotimes.com metrotimes.com

lead to a nasty injury that can compromise the use of your thumb. If you must fire off a gun, you might want to sneak away to an unpopulated area, where you can blast away at the sky to your heart’s delight. Singing at midnight It’s so well-known as to be a cliché: At midnight, you kiss your loved one and welcome the new year with a hearty rendition of “Auld Lang Syne.” And it’s usually awful. Why? Because nobody really knows the words. What you get is this: Should auld acquaintance be forgot And na na na na na. Should auld acquaintance be forgot And days of auld lang syne. For auld lang syne my dear, For auld lang syne. Na na na na na na na na For auld lang syne. If you’re going to try it, it’s a snap to look up the actual lyrics. Should you memorize them, and actually know how to sing, well, give it a try.

You can’t fake fun Seriously, folks: There is no drug to manufacture joy. What’s a holiday about, anyway, but taking the goodwill you do have in your heart and gathering with friends and loved ones to regard the past and hold out hope for the future? You don’t need booze for that. There is no silver bullet that will exhilarate you automatically. Sure, somebody snorting a few rails of coke and guzzling cinnamon whiskey may be very entertaining and appear to be the life of the party. (He may also be naked and on fire.) But the real reason for the season is something you can’t get out of a bottle: getting together with the most special people in our lives and hooting as loud as we can while the annual odometer flips its numbers. Ingest, smoke, or snort whatever you feel you must, but don’t forget, kids: Most of that New Year’s Eve magic comes from inside. Happy New Year!

letters@metrotimes.com @metrotimes

metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

HIGHERground

You can’t put the smoke back in the bong by Larry Gabriel There is little doubt in my mind that marijuana — cannabis, weed, pot, ganja, skunk, bud, herb, sticky icky, mota (in Mexico), le shit (in France), whatever you want to call it — is on the road to legalization. There are a lot of reasons for that. One of them is the changes taking place around the world. In Italy the army has been given the task of growing medical marijuana because the cost of imported medical marijuana is too high and government officials want to bring the price down. Israel has a welldeveloped medical marijuana system, and much of what we are learning about the plant is coming from research there. Uruguay has legalized recreational marijuana and other South American countries — Argentina, Brazil — are considering it. Canada’s Liberal Party, which won recent elections, is moving forward quickly on legalizing recreational use of marijuana. Jamaica, possibly the central beacon of marijuana use worldwide due to Rastafarians and reggae music, has come around on medical use. There’s a lot more going on in that vein, however one of the biggest blows against marijuana prohibition may be coming from England. GW Pharmaceuticals has been a leader in developing marijuanabased drugs. GW first came out with something called Marinol. Marinol is synthetic THC and it is prescribed to cancer patients to alleviate symptoms caused by cancer treatments. Not a lot of people like Marinol because it reportedly made most folks feel weird. GW then developed Sativex. The big difference between Sativex and Marinol is that Sativex is derived directly from marijuana while Marinol is a synthetic. Patients like Sativex a lot more than Marinol and it is sold in 23 countries around the world — though not in the United States. Sativex is not sold in the United States because it’s derived from real marijuana and we have an official policy that declares there is no medical use for marijuana. GW has been trying to get Sativex into the United States, a huge potential market, but no luck so far. That may be changing soon with another GW drug called Epidiolex. Epidiolex is a 98 percent CBD

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treatment for epileptic seizures. Most folks have heard about CBD as the cannabinoid in marijuana that does not get you high and has been working wonders for children with epilepsy. The Food and Drug Administration may put it on fast track for approval. That would mean the first marijuana-derived therapy that is available via prescription on the books. That would directly counter the lie that marijuana has no accepted medical use and probably knock it off its Schedule 1 category. That would then open up the floodgates for more research. After all, are we going to let this British corporation make all the money? Even CBD-only medical marijuana is a step in the right direction. Another reason I believe we are on the road to ending marijuana prohibition is that things change. There is a constant evolution in pretty much everything. Marijuana has been used as a medicine and an intoxicant for thousands of years. Prohibition of marijuana has been going on for less than one century. After trillions of dollars has been spent on prohibition, incarceration, and general warfare destroying families and lives, people are realizing that the model has not worked. People like smoking weed and no one has been able to stop them. That’s the same thing that happened during the short 13 years of alcohol prohibition in the United States. Our government sold marijuana prohibition to other countries through foreign aid stipulations and bullying. That doesn’t work anymore. Other countries are pursuing policies that make more sense for them. And people in this country are pursuing policies that make more sense than having jackbooted thugs busting into the homes of innocent people because they

metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

C thought the okra plants were marijuana. That’s how crazy this whole thing has become. There are people charged with enforcing the law who can’t tell marijuana from an okra plant, or a tomato plant, or a hemp plant. They are terrorizing communities and arresting the less fortunate. Police and prison guards unions are among the biggest forces opposing marijuana decriminalization because they make lots of money for capturing and locking people up. Things are changing and I don’t think you can put the smoke back in the bong. However, as things change that doesn’t mean the doors are wide open and anything goes — which brings us to Detroit today. Since neither the state nor the city governments have stepped up to deal with the fact that medical marijuana is legal in Michigan and people have to get their medicine, the creation of caregiver facilities has been weird and uneven. That has led to the proliferation of places in Detroit, where there are an estimated 160 places to buy medical marijuana, while many surrounding communities have no such facilities. The people who oppose marijuana are angry about this. There have been rallies against them and some citizens have pushed City Council to regulate where they

HIGHERground are allowed and how many there should be. That’s fair enough. But the fear-minded gang has pushed the council to consider restrictions that would close the doors of most existing facilities, and to put those that are allowed in areas where few people go. I believe this is an outgrowth of antidrug hysteria. However it is an honest expression of what the people who live here believe and want. That shows there is still a lot of work to be done by those who are fighting to end prohibition. After a lifetime of learning anti-drug propaganda these people are understandably concerned when they see “marijuana stores” in their neighborhoods. They may be in the minority (marijuana decriminalization passed by a wide margin in Detroit) but they are organized and politicians have a tendency to bow to organized minorities even when the numbers show that theirs is not the most popular sentiment. People who own and run these businesses are in a strange place. They are building an industry in a no man’s land that is unfamiliar to everybody. Organized groups have stood against them and some police have victimized the business owners or their customers. City governments are fearful that if they accept these businesses

96 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

and something goes dreadfully wrong they will be blamed. Everybody on all sides needs to talk and to really listen to each other. That’s the way this can be worked out in some just and equitable manner. The people who don’t even want to walk past a marijuana shop need to get over it. The folks who want to wave weed in the faces of those who are afraid of it aren’t doing themselves any good. Legalization is coming, even though there are bumps along the road. Medical vs. recreational? I have intentionally blurred the line between medical and recreational marijuana in the above discussion. That’s because both are on the same trajectory. There are many people who don’t believe that there is such a thing as medical marijuana and that the whole thing is a smokescreen on the road to recreational legalization. And there are people who use medical marijuana recreationally. First of all, I tend not to argue with folks who don’t believe marijuana has legitimate medical uses. I’ll point them to source material if they really want to know. Otherwise they are just arguing from a point of ignorance. There are plenty of medicines on the market that don’t do anything for you (most cold medications

filling up the aisles in drugstores) and others that can kill you. Marijuana works and it is not life-threatening. Regarding the idea that this is a step on the road to recreational legalization — yep, it is. But that is not such a bad thing. When you consider that the legal after-work relaxation tends to be alcohol — a toxic substance that has huge social costs associated with its abuse and addiction — I say there is no reason that people can’t have safer fun. Medical and recreational marijuana can live happily side by side. Holiday festivity Deck the halls with cannabis blossoms, fa la la la la la la la la I must say this bud is awesome, fa la la la la la la la la Fill the bong and take a big hit, fa la la la la la la la la Then declare this is some good shit. Fa la la la la la la la la

letters@metrotimes.com @gumbogabe

metrotimes.com

December 23-29, 2015

savagelove

Cock locked

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find it here

98 December 23-29, 2015 | metrotimes.com

After spending some years in the doldrums after having kids, my husband and I are now enjoying hot kinky sex and the occasional free pass to fuck other people. We couldn’t be happier. I have a friend who was extremely keen for me to cage his cock with the same kind of locking male chastity device I got for my husband — a fixed-ring stainlesssteel type. I have two questions: 1. It took some maneuvering to get my husband’s balls through one by one, followed by his cock, but he managed. Is it OK for his balls to swell up tight, get cold, and go purple when he’s wearing the cock cage and he is aroused? He says it doesn’t hurt, and he is wearing it only while I peg him — a couple of hours tops. I worry that even though he can squeeze into the ring, he might be cutting off circulation and doing damage. 2. My friend couldn’t get his balls and cock into the cage. His balls never dropped as a child, so he had an operation that pulled them down but fixed them in place. Consequently they sit “high and tight” and can’t be pulled away from his body. Can you recommend a cage that might fit him? He is into total submission and orgasm denial, and he wants to experience long-term forced chastity and relinquish control of his dick to me. (Hot, right?!) If a cage can’t work for him, are there other toys/methods I can use to give him that sense of surrendered cock and loss of control? —Bitch Ably Locking Lucky Sluts Up Properly

1. “The first rule of thumb when it comes to male chastity is this: If the balls go blue or cold, take the fucking cock cage off!” said Christopher Miers, the founder and creative force behind Steelwerks (steelwerksextreme.com), purveyors of the world’s finest male chastity devices. “I’m a firm believer in play safe, stay comfortable, and cause pain or discomfort only when it’s asked for and nobody is at risk of long-term damage,” Miers says. “So for the sake of their marriage and the longevity of their hot kinky sex life, BALLSUP needs to get her guy a cage that keeps him trapped but still in the realm of safe!” A short primer for readers who aren’t familiar with male chastity devices: Most are anchored in place by a ring that goes around the shaft and behind the balls. The penis slides into a cylinder that attaches to the top of the ring, and the cylinder prevents erections and can even punish erections. (Some are lined with spikes.) Once the chastity device is locked — cheaper ones with a wee padlock, custom ones with something more artful — there’s no way to remove it (and free the cock) without tearing the balls off. Back to you, BALLSUP: Miers has been

by Dan Savage

creating custom-made, high-quality stainlesssteel male chastity devices for 15 years — so he’s the recognized expert on male chastity devices here, not your husband. Listen to Miers and toss the device you’re using now and get your husband a chastity cage that doesn’t turn his balls purple. You may have to experiment with some other designs and an assortment of cock rings before you find the one that locks his cock down without choking his balls off. “I often hear from guys who wear cages made with a one-piece, slip-on-style cock ring that it allows them to slip in easily and comfortably — but a lot of guys can remove these chastity devices even when they’re locked,” says Miers. “But a cage with a smaller, more secure cock ring often results in a cock ring that is too tight, especially when the person is using cheaper, mass-produced cages. The best chastity devices are ones that come with a cock ring that can be opened via a hinge or taken apart — then you can get a ring that might be too small to push his balls through using the one-ball-after-the-other method, but because the ring comes apart, getting it on and off is much easier while providing the safety and inescapability both parties are looking for.” 2. “I encountered my first client with the ‘balls not dropping issue’ a few years back, and it is a challenge when it comes to chastity,” says Miers. “For most of these guys, I encourage a PA as a means of anchoring a lightweight chastity device.” (A PA, also known as a Prince Albert, involves poking a bonus hole in the urethra below the head of the cock and putting a ring through it.) “A PA combined with a chastity device is the most durable and secure way to lock a guy’s cock up for longterm orgasm denial and forced chastity play.” But if your friend can handle some pressure on his balls, BALLSUP, a traditional style chastity device with a hinged or two-piece cock ring might work. “Because his balls sit high and tight, it is important that the scrotal gap (the gap between the front of the cock ring and the tube opening) isn’t too tight, as this could possibly put more pressure on his balls,” Miers says. “The last option would be a full chastity belt. While some of the belts out there are incredibly sexy and completely secure, experience and client feedback tell me that in the long-term, these are not ideal for a guy who wants to be kept in chastity every day.” You can follow Miers on Twitter @steelwerks. Read the full column at metrotimes.com.

C mail@savagelove.net L@fakedansavage

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C ulture ARIES (March 21 – April 20): The next few weeks are loaded with uncertainty. Strap yourself in and throw your expectations to the wind. Fortunately, you shine in situations where the only solution is to turn into a flame and sear a path toward whatever the aim is. You are riding on the wind. Get used to it. There are issues with others that you don’t have the time or the inclination to address. In those situations you are being tested - not by the people themselves, but by the universe. You have no idea how much your reactions matter. Keep a close eye on the ways in which you take people for granted.

horoscopes by Cal Garrison LEO (July 21 – August 20): You are past the point of expecting any of this to be easy. You’ve seen and done enough to be strong and resilient at the same time. Mixed messages, in situations with people who don’t know enough to be straight with you is making it hard to keep your mouth shut. At a time when every particle of your being is ready to ascend beyond the confines of your current scenario, it comes down to knowing what you want and knowing what matters at the end of the day. You’ve looked at this many times before. Let yourself off the hook, if need be. No one said you had to stay here.

SAGITTARIUS (November 21 – December 20): There is a stroke of good luck wafting over a situation that has been hanging by a thread. If you are relieved, it’s because you have finally made sense of your suffering. It would help to ‘get away’; in body, mind, and/or spirit. New people and surroundings will put a novel spin on what has gotten kinda stale. As far as that goes you’d do just as well to go back to school or sign up for a seminar. In or out of the box, learning more about yourself is on top of the stack. Why? Because wherever you are seeking your knowledge, it’s really about stretching beyond your limits.

TAURUS (April 21 – May 20): What goes

around comes around. You know how it works. Don’t be too quick to assume that you can ever get around that principle. At the moment things appear to be under control because you’ve managed to come out on top in a situation that is subject to too much change for you to feel this comfortable. Temporary support from Jupiter is making things seem like a big bowl of cherries. Underneath it all? Only you know what the story is there. And the bigger part of you has a right to be nervous about the fact that you have no idea what others want out of this. GEMINI (May 21 – June 20): You’ve got

more than enough to carry you through whatever this passage entails. I see many things needing to fall off the wagon. With enough planetary support to make it through the night, the only thing you need to consider is how much Karma will have to say about you and your future plans. What isn’t made conscious surfaces as Fate, and you have a truck load of stuff that’s been shoved under the rug. Bringing it to light could get interesting. As much as the thought of getting to the bottom of things disturbs you, not getting to the bottom of them will disturb you more. CANCER (June 21 – July 20): Things are looking up. It’s been nuts for a while but you’re beginning to see that all this chaos is sourcing your next trick. No need to micro-manage what is better left to the laws of serendipity. You’ve been through enough to see what it takes to navigate change. As waves of acceptance allow you to flow through anything, openings will occur. And it is via those channels that you will see your way clear to things that will surprise you. Your security concerns are only founded up to a point, Money will only get you to the bank; faith and trust are more precious commodities.

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VIRGO (August 21 – September 20):

As you contemplate the need to refurbish things that got set in motion 6 or 7 years ago, get as real as you can about what you can live with. If things have out grown your interest, and there’s nothing but money keeping you here, you got a lot of soul searching to do. Weighing the good with the bad, you want to have your cake and eat it too. Wrapping your mind around the idea that this is actually possible is where it’s at right now. If you can break things down, and keep what only appear to be opposing forces in check, having it all will manifest with no sacrifice on your part. LIBRA (September 21 – October 20): Long drawn out endings, and

issues that require more time for recuperation are slowing things down and showing you how to take better care of yourself. It’s hard to make plans because the idea that ‘you can’t start this till you’ve finished that’ is all over the place. On top of all of that your energy and your aims are fluctuating too much for you to know how to be more reliable. Anything could happen. Something in you knows this. And the sense of being on tenterhooks competes with the need to pray that calmer waters will free you of the need to keep on trucking. SCORPIO (October 21 – November 20):You are back in the saddle again,

trying to figure out how to justify the need to be the ‘personal assistant’ in a situation that is totally wacky. Don’t be too hard on yourself. After all, you meant well; but you know what they say about ‘the road to Hell’. As you sit here learning how to live with the fact that you might have been in error when you agreed to all of this, thank God you have enough integrity to be accountable for things that could turn out to be a total waste of time. Your next trick could involve backing out of a tight spot before you get stuck in the middle.

CAPRICORN (December 21 - January 20):

How far you are willing to go has been an issue for quite some time. With every reason to believe that you could get around anything, 3 years down the road, you have reached a point where there may be nowhere to turn. Thrown back on your own resources, the sense that you’ve lost your touch needs to be replaced with the thought that all of this is bringing you back to center. Don’t get overwhelmed by the forces that say, you will never get it back. Trust me; if you can remain in/ return to integrity whatever’s out of alignment will automatically come out in the wash. AQUARIUS (January 21 – February 20): So

much has taken off on a whole new track. You are blown away by the fact that all of your experience up until now has prepared you for things that are way more stimulating than your last movie. As you get used to the idea that the master plan is always subject to change, be prepared to meet up with people and things that affirm your desire to remain true to yourself. There are too many unknown factors impinging on choices that only appear to be up to you. It’s your job to stay centered enough to know what you need out of this, and allow Fate to handle the rest of it. PISCES (Feb. 21-March 20): You’ve figured out it’s your job to know what’s going to happen next. What you are also aware of is that you are dealing with people who need to think that everything is ‘their idea’. Getting this situation into gear will require you to find a strategy that works, and that allows you to live with yourself at the same time. Others are of the mind that all of this is hunky-dory. If they are in their right mind there is no problem. If there is any lack of awareness, or unconsciousness about things that only you can handle, it’s time to give everyone else a good reason to see it your way.

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