Orlando Weekly August 24, 2016 BEST OF ORLANDO by Chava Communications

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AUG. 24-30, 2016 ● ORLANDO WEEKLY

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AUG. 24-30, 2016 ● ORLANDO WEEKLY

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AUG. 24-30, 2016 ● ORLANDO WEEKLY

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AUG. 24-30, 2016 ● ORLANDO WEEKLY

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Publisher Graham Jarrett Editor Jessica Bryce Young Editorial Staff Writer Monivette Cordeiro Calendar Editor Thaddeus McCollum Music Editor Matthew Moyer Digital Content Editor Colin Wolf Interns Jarleene Almenas Contributors Rob Bartlett, Jeff Billman, Jen Cray, James Dechert, Hannah Glogower, Liv Jonse, Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Richard Reep, Joey Roulette, Steve Schneider, Ken Storey Advertising Major Accounts Specialist Leslie Egan Senior Multimedia Account Executive Dan Winkler Account Manager Lindsey Hahn Multimedia Account Executives Patty Fisher, Jessica Flynn, Shannon Maggio, Scott Navarro Classified and Legal Rep Jerrica Schwartz Marketing and Events Events Director Zackary Rowe Events and Promotions Manager Brad Van De Bogert Marketing and Events Coordinator Rachel Hoyle Creative Services Creative Services Manager Shelby Sloan Editorial Designer Chris Tobar Rodriguez Graphic Designers Melissa McHenry, Ian Jones Business Operations Manager Hollie Mahadeo Business Assistant Allysha Willison Circulation Circulation Manager Collin Modeste Euclid Media Group Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com Orlando Weekly Inc. 16 W. Pine St. Orlando, Florida 32801 orlandoweekly.com Phone 407-377-0400 Fax 407-377-0420 Orlando Weekly is published every week by Euclid Media Group Orlando Distribution Orlando Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Copyright notice: The entire contents of Orlando Weekly are copyright 2016 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Subscriptions: Additional copies or back issues may be purchased at the Orlando Weekly offices for $1. Six-month domestic subscriptions may be purchased for $75; one-year subscriptions for $125.

NEWS + FEATURES 15 Pulse: In Memoriam A profile of Pulse Nightclub shooting victim Leroy Valentín Fernández

15 This Modern World 15 ICYMI News you need to know but may have missed in the past week

16 Legends of the Fall Alan Grayson’s forthcoming loss couldn’t happen to a more deserving man

BEST OF ORLANDO 19 Introduction 23 Local Color 43 Food and Drink 79 Music and Nightlife 105 Arts and Culture 131 Goods and Services 157 Sports and Recreation

CALENDAR 174 Selections 176 The Week 177 Down the Road Back Pages:

192 Savage Love 192 Gimme Shelter 193 Classifieds orlandoweekly.com

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OTHER PRIMARY THOUGHTS OF THE

BY J EF F R EY C . BI L L M A N

ALAN GRAYSON’S LAST STAND His forthcoming loss couldn’t happen to a more deserving man At its core, Alan Grayson’s

problem has always been Alan Grayson. It’s not his considerable intellect, not his impressive résumé (three degrees from Harvard!), not even his strident, bombastic liberalism, but him: For lack of a better term, he’s an asshole. Or, more specifically, he’s an abrasive, thin-skinned egomaniac who can’t take criticism or let go of a grudge, someone who imagines himself as being on the vanguard of a progressive revolution but who finds himself subsumed in bizarre scandals and abandoned by his own party’s leaders – not because they’re the Establishment, man, but because they think he’s a loudmouthed weirdo. In short, he’s a guy who, on a visceral level, is very hard to like, even if you agree with most of his positions (as I do). And if Aug. 30 is a total washout for him (as I suspect it will be), he’ll have no one to blame but himself. A quick history: I first met Alan a decade ago, when he walked into the Weekly’s office, seemingly entitled to our unfettered support in his bid to unseat U.S. Rep. Ric Keller. He was the progressive candidate for Congress. We were the progressive newspaper. Why weren’t we doing more to help him? He bristled when we made fun of his goatee – which he eventually shaved off – and professed to the last unshaken confidence that of course he would win the 2006 Democratic primary, and win easily. (He lost by 12 percentage points to Charlie Stuart, who lost to Keller despite a Democratic wave.) Grayson ran again two years later – a smarter, more disciplined operation this time around. In a rematch, he beat Stuart by 21 points, then beat a waypast-his-expiration-date Keller 52-48. He went to Washington, branded himself 16

the “congressman with guts” and accused the Democratic Party has aligned solidly Republicans of wanting sick people to “die behind Murphy, with President Obama, quickly.” Then he ran for re-election and Vice President Biden and Senate Minority tried to label his opponent, Dan Webster, Leader Harry Reid all endorsing Murphy “Taliban Dan.” There were nuggets of – unusual in a contested primary. Why did they do that? Simple: They truth – Republicans’ calculated obstinacy on health care reform was pathetic, don’t like Grayson. They think he’s an and Webster is to this day a first-order embarrassment. They want him to go Bible thumper – but the caustic, proto- away. It’s not just that he has become Trumpian manner in which Grayson said these things turned off more than just the embroiled in a bizarre – and nasty, and wringing hands of the Orlando Sentinel’s public – divorce/annulment/custody fight. Nor is it that his ex-wife of 20 years editorial board. He lost by 18 points. In fairness, he was doomed no matter has accused him of domestic violence, what; a lot of Dems in tough districts got including one incident in which he allegtrounced in 2010. And to his credit, after edly “hit her on the back of the head a round of redistricting opened up a sol- with a large rock.” (Grayson denied the idly blue congressional district in 2012, allegations, but two liberal groups pulled Grayson got back in the game, whipping their support anyway.) Nor is it that the a lawyer named Todd Long by 25 points. New York Times reported in February that But this election, too, opens a window into Grayson, the anti-corporate populist, had Alan being Alan: Even though victory was run a Cayman Islands hedge fund while in never in doubt, Grayson still accused Long Congress, in which he encouraged invesof being an alcoholic wife-beater. Again, tors to, as the Times put it, “capitalize nuggets of truth – Long had a DUI and, on the unrest he observed in the world, in a divorce filing, his ex-wife called him and to take particular advantage when there was ‘blood in the “abusive and manipustreets.’” Nor is it that, lative,” though she AS PROGRESSIVE AS when a reporter dared never alleged physical HIS POLITICS ARE, ask about these things, violence – were buried AND AS SMART AS Grayson snapped, “Are in an unnecessary avaHE IS, GRAYSON’S you some kind of shitlanche of overkill. CONTEMPT FOR ting robot? You go around Fast-forward to BEHAVIORAL NORMS shitting on people?” 2016: Grayson has WILL DOOM HIM It’s all of these things. decided he’s due a proIt’s Alan being Alan. Or motion. Like in 2006, rather, it’s Alan being his primary opponent, Patrick Murphy, is a moderate (a for- incapable of not being Alan. As progresmer Republican, in fact). Also like 2006, sive as his politics are – and as smart every sign indicates that Grayson is going as he is, no denying that – this is his to lose. The Real Clear Politics average Achilles’ heel. And come next Tuesday, it has Grayson down more than 8 points, may prove his undoing. though there haven’t been any particular@jeffreybillman on Twitter ly recent public surveys. More important, feedback@orlandoweekly.com

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➦ Alan Grayson’s new wife, Dena – they married in May – is, of course, running to replace him. As accomplished as Dena Grayson, a biochemist and medical doctor, is in her own right, the circumstances of her campaign feel … unsettling. Besides, Alan’s former district director, Susannah Randolph, who’s also running for the seat, has an unrivaled track record of working for progressive causes – certainly better than that of the other contender, limp noodle Darren Soto. Susannah also happens to be one of the smartest, hardest-working and most genuine people I’ve ever met in politics. She would do Central Florida proud in D.C. ➦ Phil Diamond is running for Orange County comptroller, which he was in fact born to do. An accountant and tax lawyer, Diamond distinguished himself on the Orlando City Council as someone unafraid to call bullshit on incentive schemes and developer handouts. (He wouldn’t say bullshit, though; he’s too Midwestern nice for that.) That’s the eagle-eyed watchdog role Martha Haynie has carved out since 1989; Diamond – a thoughtful and thoroughly decent human being who is generally great at policy and bad at politics (as evidenced by his 2012 mayoral bid) – is her ideal successor. ➦ The Democratic Party’s fullthroated backing of Val Demings – the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee endorsed her in February, and she got a speaking slot alongside Nancy Pelosi at last month’s Democratic National Convention – strikes me as odd. I have nothing against Demings, though the former police chief did sometimes go easy on abusive Orlando cops back in the day. But her challengers – especially Bob Poe, a former Florida Democratic Party chairman, but also state Sen. Geraldine Thompson – deserved better than to be elbowed out by party elites. After all, it’s not a question of electability; given the way this district is drawn, whoever wins the primary is going to win the general. – Jeffrey C. Billman

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CONGRATS THE POLLS ARE CLOSED AND THE RESULTS ARE IN. ONCE AGAIN, ORLANDO WEEKLY PRESENTS OUR BIGGEST ISSUE OF THE YEAR, OUR CELEBRATION OF THE BEST OF ORLANDO. It’s hard to believe it’s been 12 months since the last time we did this. And what a year it’s been – at the risk of being a downer, it’s been full of death, from local artists to music icons to, of course, the massacre at Pulse Nightclub. But in spite of the terrible events of June 12, Orlando has come out of this tragic year stronger and more united than ever before. The heartbreak and adversity brought out the best in all of us, and it’s that beautiful fighting spirit we want to applaud. Our Best of Orlando issue brings together our writers’ and critics’ picks with the voice of the city – and thousands upon thousands of you voted in our Best of Orlando readers poll this year. In this turbulent election year, it’s nice to know that no matter who comes in first in this campaign, everybody wins.

So now that the people have spoken, it’s time to kick back and enjoy the democracy! BEST OF ORLANDO 2016

We’d like to congratulate all of the 2016 winners, say “nice campaign!” to those who didn’t place this year, and commend your tireless poll workers:

LOCAL COLOR, PAGE 23

WRITERS Gabrielle Cash, Monivette Cordeiro, Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Thaddeus McCollum, Rebecca McKay, Matthew Moyer, Brendan O’Connor, Richard Reep and Jessica Bryce Young worked tirelessly to uncover and signal-boost all the brilliant people, places and things we chose as 2016’s Best of Orlando in our Writers’ Picks.

FOOD + DRINK, PAGE 43

YOU! Thanks to everyone who voted in our Readers Poll, which is an annual snapshot of what Orlandoans see as the best of Orlando.

MUSIC + NIGHTLIFE, PAGE 79

DESIGNER AND ILLUSTRATOR Editorial designer Chris Tobar Rodriguez not only laid out the 40 pages of this year’s BOO, he worked with illustrator Ali Castro to commission our cover and section openers. See more of Ali’s work at castroillustrates.com.

ARTS + CULTURE, PAGE 105

PHOTOGRAPHER

GOODS + SERVICES, PAGE 131

Rob Bartlett helped capture images of many of our writers’ picks.

FACT-CHECKERS Interns Jarleene Almenas and Bridgette Norris did their best to check everyone’s work.

SPORTS + RECREATION, PAGE 157

DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Colin Wolf has the Herculean task of wrangling it all onto our website. orlandoweekly.com

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CONGRATS

ST RE ET

THE POLLS ARE CLOSED AND THE RESULTS ARE IN. ONCE AGAIN, ORLANDO WEEKLY PRESENTS OUR BIGGEST ISSUE OF THE YEAR, OUR CELEBRATION OF THE BEST OF ORLANDO.

IVANH

LL VI

E AG

It’s hard to believe it’s been 12 months since the last time we did this. And what a year it’s been – at the risk of being a downer, it’s been full of death, from local artists to music icons to, of course, the massacre at Pulse Nightclub. But in spite of the terrible events of June 12, Orlando has come out of this tragic year stronger and more united than ever before. The heartbreak and adversity brought out the best in all of us, and it’s that beautiful fighting spirit we want to applaud. Our Best of Orlando issue brings together our writers’ and critics’ picks with the voice of the city – and thousands upon thousands of you voted in our Best of Orlando readers poll this year. In this turbulent election year, it’s nice to know that no matter who comes in first in this campaign, everybody wins.

So now that the people have spoken, it’s time to kick back and enjoy the democracy! BEST OF ORLANDO 2016

We’d like to congratulate all of the 2016 winners, say “nice campaign!” to those who didn’t place this year, and commend your tireless poll workers:

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MUSIC + NIGHTLIFE, PAGE 79

ARTS + CULTURE, PAGE 105

PHOTOGRAPHER

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Rob Bartlett helped capture images of many of our writers’ picks.

FACT-CHECKERS

— now at — DRINKAROUNDTHEHOOD.COM

FOOD + DRINK, PAGE 43

Thanks to everyone who voted in our Readers Poll, which is an annual snapshot of what Orlandoans see as the best of Orlando.

( Gets you a drink sample at every stop )

LOCAL COLOR, PAGE 23

GOODS + SERVICES, PAGE 131

Interns Jarleene Almenas and Bridgette Norris did their best to check everyone’s work.

SPORTS + RECREATION, PAGE 157

DIGITAL CONTENT EDITOR Colin Wolf has the Herculean task of wrangling it all onto our website. orlandoweekly.com

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WRITERS’ PICKS

READERS POLL BEST KEPT SECRET 1. City of Sanford, sanfordfl.gov 2. Gods & Monsters, godmonsters.com 3. Uncomfortable Brunch, uncomfortablebrunch.com

BEST LOCAL ACTIVIST GROUP 1. The GLBT Community Center of Central Florida, thecenterorlando.org 2. Zebra Coalition, zebrayouth.org 3. Orlando Food Not Bombs, facebook.com/orlandofoodnotbombs

BEST LOCAL BIG SHOT 1. Jim Philips, WTKS Real Radio 104.1 FM 2. The Orlando City Unicorn, twitter.com/orlandounicorn 3. Daniel Dennis, tomanddan.com

BEST LOCAL CHARITABLE GROUP 1. Second Harvest Food Bank, feedhopenow.org 2. Make-A-Wish Central and Northern Florida, cnfl.wish.org 3. Yellow Brick Road: The Holden Flynn Foundation, ybrf.org

BEST LOCAL HANGOUT

BEST LGBT VOICE: Patty Sheehan During the tragedy on June 12, Orlando’s openly gay commissioner, Patty Sheehan, was near the gay nightclub Pulse to comfort others. She was also there to shut down politicians who offered their “thoughts and prayers” but were slow to mention that the victims were LGBT. And she had some choice words for the shooter himself. “If you think that you’re going to stab at the heart of us by doing this horrible, violent act, you’re not, because we love,” she reminded the world on that day. Sheehan has also been instrumental in calling for unity in Orlando with the Muslim community. Tough situations bring out people’s real personalities, and we learned after the Pulse mass shooting that Sheehan is one tough advocate. 24

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BEST ACT OF KINDNESS:

BEST WASTE OF CAMPAIGN CASH:

Blood donors from the Central Florida community who stood in long lines for hours after the Pulse shootings

The Paul Paulson campaign for mayor of Orlando

After waking up to find that 49 people who’d been their family, friends, neighbors and co-workers had been killed in a mass shooting at the gay nightclub Pulse, it would have been reasonable for local residents to shut down and hide in their homes. But they didn’t. Instead, they took to the hot streets outside local blood banks and waited for hours in blocks-long lines to give blood for people fighting for their lives at nearby hospitals. Others helped out by providing pizza, water and snacks to the hot, sweaty donors. On a day filled with darkness, these wonderful souls were a beacon of hope and a reminder that good exists. ●

orlandoweekly.com

Remember that guy? Last November, Paul Paulson tried and failed to become Orlando’s newest mayor by dishing out more than $800,000, outspending incumbent Mayor Buddy Dyer. Apparently, spending $100 for each vote didn’t make much of a difference for Paulson, because he received a third of the vote. Maybe next time instead of wasting money on mailers that won’t work, he can spend money on hiring a designer for a decent logo instead of swiping one from the internet.

1. Stardust Video & Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-623-3393, stardustie.com 2. Wekiva Island, 1014 Miami Springs Drive, Longwood, 407-862-1500, wekivaisland.com 3. Johnny’s Fillin’ Station, 2631 S. Ferncreek Ave., 407-894-6900, johnnysfillinstation.com

BEST LOCAL INSTAGRAM FEED 1. @tomanddanofficial 2. @orlandoweekly 3. @orlandobungalower

BEST LOCAL COLUMNIST 1. Scott Maxwell, Orlando Sentinel 2. Billy Manes, Watermark 3. Jon Busdeker, WESH (formerly Orlando Sentinel)

BEST LOCAL PODCAST 1. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan, tomanddan.com 2. Scotch and “Good” Conversation, scotchandgoodconversation.com 3. The Jody & Scott Show, jodyandscottshow.com

BEST LOCAL POLITICIAN 1. Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer 2. Orlando Commissioner Patty Sheehan 3. U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson LC CONT. ON PAGE 27

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READERS POLL BEST LOCAL POLITICIAN IN NEED OF A REALITY CHECK 1. Gov. Rick Scott 2. Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi 3. U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson

BEST LOCAL PUBLICATION 1. Orlando Weekly, orlandoweekly.com 2. Edible Orlando, edibleorlando. com 3. Watermark, watermarkonline. com

BEST LOCAL RADIO PERSONALITY 1. Johnny Magic, Johnny’s House, WXXL 106.7 FM 2. Jim Philips, The Philips Phile, WTKS 104.1 FM 3. Daniel Dennis, A Corporate Time With Tom and Dan, WTKS 104.1 FM

BEST LOCAL RADIO SHOW 1. A Corporate Time With Tom and Dan, WTKS 104.1 FM 2. Johnny’s House, WXXL 106.7 FM 3. The Philips Phile, WTKS 104.1 FM

BEST LOCAL RADIO STATION 1. Real Radio 104.1 FM, WTKS 2. XL 106.7 FM, WXXL 3. 91.5 FM, WPRK

BEST LOCAL TV NEWS CHANNEL 1. WESH-2 News, wesh.com 2. WFTV-9 News, wftv.com 3. News 13, mynews13.com

BEST LOCAL TV NEWSPERSON 1. Martha Sugalski, WFTV anchor 2. Bob Opsahl, WFTV anchor (retired this year after 38 years) 3. Amy Sweezey, WESH meteorologist

BEST LOCAL WEBSITE 1. orlandoweekly.com 2. tomanddan.com 3. bungalower.com

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO DRINK IN 1. Mills 50 2. Downtown Orlando 3. Winter Park LC CONT. ON PAGE 28

LOCAL COLOR BEST STREET FIGHT AMONG ELITISTS: Winter Park’s irascible citizenry Governmental discontent bordering on the neurotic? Any other town would support a new library but a small, shrill faction wants to stop this one (even though it passed a referendum). A different small, shrill faction wants no protection for historic properties whatsoever, after agreeing last year it is OK. In a town with rich history, great old architecture, Rollins College and Full Sail University, you’d think learning and historic preservation would be easy to rally around. But Winter Park’s small, shrill factions pick fights over these issues without end, and epithets fly in town hall meetings like lightning in a summer thunderstorm. Tune in to the Facebook page of the Winter Park Voice, a local micropublication, to watch the fun and see Winter Parkers ignore real issues such as affordable housing, racially unjust gentrification, overdevelopment, and how you can never get a parking space at Trader Joe’s.

BEST FLORIDA MAN STORY ORIGINATING IN ORLANDO: Two men caught on video duking it out at a Baldwin Park Publix over a shopping cart Publix stores across Florida have probably seen many fights in their sacred deli lines (hey, waiting for a Pub sub ain’t easy), but Orlando may have one of the first caught on camera. It starts with a pregnant woman who leaves her shopping cart in a parking spot that a man is trying to pull into. Insults are thrown, and the man gets out of his car and goes inside the store. As he’s waiting to get a sub (duh), the woman’s husband comes barreling at him. Some genius whipped out a cellphone and captured the moment they started punching and shoving each other as employees tried to stop them, and a new type of Florida Man was born: the Publix shopper. orlandoweekly.com

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BEST BUNGLED ATTEMPT AT A POLITICAL COMEBACK: Marco Rubio’s bid for re-election

LC CONT. ON PAGE 31

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PHOTO BY JOEY ROULETTE

After badly losing the presidential primary in his home state of Florida to a talking Cheeto, U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio told everyone he was just going to go to his Miami home and enjoy his cafecito like a private citizen. That didn’t last for long. Speculation of a re-election campaign rose, especially since the other Florida Republicans running for the U.S. Senate seat, including Rubio’s friend Lt. Gov. Carlos López-Cantera, were still mostly unknown compared to their Democratic competitors. So Rubio had probably been thinking about jumping back into the race for weeks, but he chose the worst possible time to announce it: In a radio interview, Rubio cited the mass shooting at the gay nightclub Pulse that killed 49 people as his reason for wanting to go back to the Senate. His critics pounced, saying Rubio, long known for supporting anti-LGBT stances, was a hypocrite. When a group of protesters staged a sit-in outside his (public) office (in a private building) asking him to stand up for them in regards to gun control and LGBT legislation, his office sent out a tepid statement. Then 10 protesters were arrested. The election is three months away, and the air around this still stinks of opportunism.

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READERS POLL BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO EAT IN 1. Winter Park 2. Mills 50 3. Dr. Phillips

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO LIVE IN 1. Winter Park 2. College Park 3. Thornton Park

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO SHOP IN

WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST MAIN STREET IN AMERICA:

Audubon Park Garden District audubonparkgardens.com

Thriving, independent businesses; a busy schedule of street fairs and offbeat celebrations such as Bastille Day, a night market every Monday, an excellent record store … we all knew we had a great thing going in Audubon Park, and the National Trust for Historic Preservation finally got around to recognizing it as one of the best Main Street

LOCAL COLOR Districts in the country, awarding it one of the three Great American Main Street Awards of 2016. See, you don’t need corporate chain stores or mock historical architecture to be the best. You just need entrepreneurs allowed to thrive with their own visions. While other urban areas nearby struggle with empty sidewalks and storefronts, Audubon Park remodeled an old church classroom to make East End Market, remodeled an air conditioning business into a bustling public house, and, all along, kept serving us really, really good coffee. LC CONT. ON PAGE 32

1. Park Avenue, Winter Park 2. Downtown Winter Garden 3. Audubon Park

BEST NEW THING IN ORLANDO 1. Orlando City Soccer Club MLS team 2. Orlando Pride NWSL team 3. Red Cypress Brewery

BEST ORLANDO WEEKLY EVENT 1. Orlando Beer Festival 2. Puppy Love 3. Drink Around the Hood

BEST PLACE TO SHOW OUT-OFTOWNERS THE REAL ORLANDO 1. Lake Eola 2. Mills 50 3. Downtown Orlando

BEST REASON TO LIVE IN ORLANDO 1. So much to do 2. Growing arts scene 3. A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan

BEST REASON TO LEAVE ORLANDO 1. Gov. Rick Scott 2. I-4 3. Russ Rollins

BEST USE OF PUBLIC MONEY 1. Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts 2. Bike trails 3. SunRail

BEST WASTE OF PUBLIC MONEY 1. Gov. Rick Scott 2. I-4 Ultimate Project 3. SunRail

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LOCAL COLOR

BEST UNDERAPPRECIATED RESOURCE: OCLS Melrose Center Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd., 407-835-7323

While some may argue libraries were a last-century kind of thing, the Orange County Library System’s Dorothy Lumley Melrose Center proves it’s anything but. Located in the main branch in the heart of downtown, the Center offers anyone with a library card the opportunity to work in a video production studio, photo studio, fabrication lab, audio production studio or a simulator lab. This one-stop shop for all your STEM needs proves libraries are the learning centers of the present and the future.

BEST OPPORTUNITY FOR AN EAGER SANITATION COMPANY: Baldwin Park

LC CONT. ON PAGE 34

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PHOTO BY BEN GARCIA

Hey, friend. Do you have that get-up-and-go entrepreneurial spirit? Do you have the kind of drive that says, “I just need to find something people need that no one else is doing”? Well, your opportunity awaits you in the swanky New Urbanist village built on the contaminated remains of a decommissioned Navy base! Baldwin Park, you see, has issues: lots of dogs and a lot of space between trash cans. Someone who wanted to install a few more, maybe with some of those little compartments that dispense tiny plastic bags – well, that person could really clean up (geddit?). But why stop there, when the ground is also littered with the oddest remnants of drunken nights out the world has ever seen? (Like, we get all the fast food wrappers, but who the hell cuts off a ponytail and leaves it on the sidewalk … still in a scrunchie?!) And we haven’t even touched on the lack of public recycling containers. For a community based on concepts of more environmental planning, this sure would be a great place to see a business that cares about the environment.

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LOCAL COLOR

BEST CLAPBACK: Leah Sandler’s reaction to having her art pulled from AIOP

LC CONT. ON PAGE 37

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PHOTO BY STEVE GULA

Last year’s Art in Odd Places was a beautiful thing, and a bold step forward for a downtown arts establishment known for mostly hewing to the very middle of the road. Which is why it was great, on the whole, to see real city support for such a free-wheeling conceptual mashup. But then it seems that mainstream mindset reasserted itself when some stakeholders actually saw one piece, approved for placement in the planning stages, in situ. The feminist Housewifes Collective created a multi-work installation called We Don’t Like Your Tone; Leah Sandler’s piece was a fairly straightforward take on Marcel Duchamp’s “Fountain” (a mass-produced urinal signed “R. Mutt” that is generally regarded as the first piece of conceptual art). The mint-green toilet, lying on its side and signed “R. Muther,” was located near the fountain in Heritage Square. Predictably (but really though?), there was outrage. Artists claim they were told it “looked like trash”; city representatives claimed it was all a locational mixup, fingers were pointed and accusations of bad taste and know-nothingism flew. Sandler, though, stayed cool as a cuke, merely placing signholders with well-written texts describing the removed piece and explaining what had happened, as well as observing that even 100 years later, clearly Duchamp’s point still hadn’t penetrated some people’s consciousness. Grace under fire.

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LOCAL COLOR

WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST I-DRIVE CATFIGHT: Skyplex versus Universal Orlando When the Wallack family, developers of I-Drive’s Mango’s Café, announced plans to build the world’s tallest roller coaster across the corner, it was bound to ruffle some powerful feathers. But even industry observers were initially surprised how vigorously Universal Orlando opposed the project. The other shoe dropped on the eve of the approval vote, as word leaked that Universal had purchased 474 acres within sight of the proposed 500-plus-foot-tall tower. Universal lost the battle, but attraction fans will be the ultimate winners if both companies’ plans come to fruition. LC CONT. ON PAGE 38

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BEST NEWS FOR ORCA ADVOCATES: SeaWorld ends killer whale breeding program 7007 Sea World Drive, 888-800-5447, seaworldparks.com

After years of digging their heels in against Blackfish-driven criticism of their killer whale captivity, SeaWorld abruptly reversed policy in March, partnering with the Humane Society of the United States to announce the immediate end of their orca breeding program. The remaining stock of Shamus will live out their lives without reproducing, and their theatrical shows will be phased out. No word yet on how much SeaWorld pays their employees to apply cetacean condoms, or if they simply make the massive mammals take cold showers. LC CONT. ON PAGE 40

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LOCAL COLOR BEST NEIGHBORHOOD ON THE EDGE: Milk District, East Robinson Street facebook.com/themilkdistrict

Anchored by the monochromatic monolith that is T.G. Lee Dairy (when will they let someone mural their massive white walls!?), this blacksheep neighborhood is on the up and up. Its affordable, gently run-down apartment buildings and bungalows, only a five-minute bike ride from downtown, have sheltered a smorgasbord of creatives and hipsters over the years, resulting in a strong, quirky retail scene. Long-held tenants like Sportstown Billiards, Etoile Boutique and Kyle’s Bike Shop are shoulderto-shoulder with newer bars – gnome-sized venues that encourage heavy craft-beer drinking to stay cool (in both the temperature and with-it-ness senses) – and new foodie favorites Se7en Bites Bakeshop and Market on South. Tasty Tuesdays and the Milk District Market bring in the crowds on a regular basis, making this one of the most happening districts in Orlando. Unfortunately all of this has brought out the wolves: Developers are circling the neighborhood, buying up and tearing down older properties and raising rents, thus driving out both longterm residents and the plucky people who made the neighborhood what it is right now.

BEST PLUCKY ORGANIZATION WITH A REAL SHOT AT CHANGE: Corrine Calming Coalition The Audubon Park Garden District is a bit of a contradiction. The Orlando neighborhood won a 2016 Great American Main Street Award from the National Trust for Historic Preservation. It’s known for its homegrown programming and parties, such as its Bastille Day celebration and Zombietoberfest. Yet the whole place is centered around Corrine Drive, five lanes of crumbling asphalt with few crosswalks and without contiguous sidewalks. Cars zip through at relatively high speeds (much faster than the posted 35 mph limit) leaving pedestrians in the lurch trying to cross from Stardust Video & Coffee to Redlight Redlight in one piece. The Corrine Calming Coalition has been seeking to slow things down in the APGD for more than three years. It’s an uphill battle for a flat road that includes getting both Orange County and the City of Orlando to agree on plans and payments. But CCC came closer to the goal by winning grants from Winter Park Health Foundation and Healthy Central Florida to hold a charrette where the public can come and give input on possible redesigns. Maybe one day a trip from Park Ave CDs to East End Market won’t feel like a game of Frogger.

BEST MISSING ANIMAL: Elvis, also known as the Orlando King Cobra Pair an escaped exotic animal with the endless joy of parody Twitter accounts, and you’ve got the makings of a legend. Reality TV star (Airplane Repo) Mike Kennedy’s 8-foot-long pet cobra Elvis was on the lam for about a month before he was found under a dryer in an Ocoee garage. While we were all out looking for him, Elvis went to local coffee shops, strolled Lake Eola park and even had enough cash to buy a Disney ticket. Get us in next time, won’t you? 40

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FOOD & DRINK

WRITERS’ PICKS

READERS POLL BEST BAKERY 1. Valhalla Bakery, Market on South, 2603 E. South St., 407613-5968, valhallabakery.com 2. Se7en Bites, 207 N. Primrose Drive, 407-203-0727, facebook.com/se7enbites 3. Blue Bird Bake Shop, 3122 Corrine Drive, 407-228-3822, bluebirdbakeshop.com

BEST BARBECUE 1. 4 Rivers Smokehouse, multiple locations, 4rsmokehouse.com 2. Pig Floyd’s Urban Barbakoa, 1326 N. Mills Ave., 407-2030866, pigfloyds.com 3. Bubbalou’s Bodacious BBQ, multiple locations, bubbalous.com

BEST BRUNCH 1. Santiago’s Bodega, 802 Virginia Drive, 407-412-6979, facebook.com/ santiagosbodegaorlando 2. Keke’s, multiple locations, kekes.com 3. Briarpatch, 252 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-8651, thebriarpatchrestaurant.com

BEST BURGER

BEST VEGAN JUNK FOOD:

BEST SECRET ROOFTOP RESTAURANT:

BEST HANDHELD DESSERT:

Eleven at Reunion Resort

710 N. Mills Ave., 407-237-0013, facebook.com/kingbaoorlando

Brownies from George’s Gourmet Cookies

7593 Gathering Drive, Kissimmee, 407-662-1000, reunionresort.com

501 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-1499, georgesgourmetcookiesandcatering.com

Clearly, not everyone who eats vegan is doing it to be healthy – we’ve seen some pretty kickin’ vegan dishes that would give Chris Christie palpitations. These fried tots at the new Mills 50 bao hamlet are covered in tofu, fake bacon, roasted garlic and onion jam and sprinkled with scallions. Also, they’re just $2.50, so if you wanted to also eat a Veganville bao for lunch (crispy tofu with ginger-pepper relish), your wallet would only be a smidge lighter.

By day, the rooftop where Eleven is located is the hotel’s pool deck (which, really, is unique enough for Orlando), but come dusk, the sliding glass wall opens to reveal an elegant space where some of Central Florida’s best steaks are served. Whatever you order for your main, don’t miss the roasted garlic app that spreads like buttah over toasted baguette, Cambozola cheese and confit cherry tomatoes. Views of the Magic Kingdom and Epcot fireworks are on deck post-dessert.

You know how everyone in your office knows when there are leftover brownies from that board meeting? Everyone scampers like starved cats to the break room and descends upon the spoils, and then they’re gone. If you find yourself so unlucky as to miss out, get to George’s location on Lee Road and Orlando Avenue early enough to score one of the hefty handheld treats topped with caramel, marshmallow, chocolate drizzle and nuts, all for yourself.

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BEST CARIBBEAN 1. Bahama Breeze, multiple locations, bahamabreeze.com 2. Caribbean Sunshine Bakery, multiple locations, christianarenae.com/csb 3. Mark’s Caribbean, 10034 University Blvd., 407-699-8800, healthyjamaicanfood.com

BEST CHEAP EATS 1. Gringos Locos, 22 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626, also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407896-5626, gringoslocos.com 2. Black Bean Deli, 325 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0294, also 1835 E. Colonial Drive, 407-203-0922, blackbeandeli..com 3. Tako Cheena, 932 N. Mills Ave., 321-236-7457, mytakocheena.com F+D CONT. ON PAGE 49

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

Fakenit tater tots at King Bao

1. BurgerFi, multiple locations, burgerfi.com 2. Johnny’s Fillin’ Station, 2631 S. Ferncreek Ave., 407-894-6900, johnnysfillinstation.com 3. Five Guys Burgers & Fries, multiple locations, fiveguys.com

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READERS POLL BEST CHEF 1. James Petrakis, The Ravenous Pig, Cask & Larder 2. Kevin Fonzo, K Restaurant 3. Ashley Nickell, Restaurant ASH

BEST CHINESE 1. Hawkers Asian Street Fare, 1103 N. Mills Ave., 407-2370606, eathawkers.com 2. Hotto Potto, 1700 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-930-5366, hottopotto.com 3. Imperial Dynasty, 2045 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-786-2266, imperialdynasty.com

BEST COFFEE 1. Drunken Monkey, 444 N. Bumby Ave., 407-893-4994, drunkenmonkeycoffee.com 2. Stardust Video & Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, 407-6233393, stardustie.com 3. Downtown Credo, multiple locations, downtowncredo.com

FOOD & DRINK BEST REASON TO SCRAPE A BOWL: Shoyu tuna poke bowl from Da Kine Poke Truck facebook.com/dakinepoke

Poke tuna is quickly becoming the next local food trend; we’ve seen it popping up at Quickly Boba Snow, Sus Hi Eatstation and even Publix, but our favorite so far is the mobile version from Da Kine Poke Truck. Not only does the truck seem to show up just when we get a craving for plump, toothsome tuna chunks in a tangy soy-based sauce, but the truck also offers a wide variety of furikake – seasoning blends made with nori, sesame and various other ingredients – to give the accompanying rice just the right flavor boost. And even though the owner has referred to us as “the worst news source out there,” we’d be happy to split a bowl with him any time.

BEST CUBAN 1. Black Bean Deli, 325 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0294, also 1835 E. Colonial Drive, 407-203-0922, blackbeandeli.com 2. Zaza New Cuban Diner, multiple locations, zazacubandiner.com 3. Cubans on the Run, 2956 S. U.S. Highway 17-92, Casselberry, 407-339-2272, cubansontherun.com

BEST CUPCAKE 1. Sweet! by Good Golly Miss Holly, 711 N. Alafaya Trail, 407277-7746, sweetbyholly.com 2. Blue Bird Bake Shop, 3122 Corrine Drive, 407-228-3822, bluebirdbakeshop.com 3. Valhalla Bakery, Market on South, 2603 E. South St., 407613-5968, valhallabakery.com

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST DELI 1. TooJay’s Gourmet Deli, multiple locations, toojays.com 2. Bagel King, multiple locations, bagelking.net 3. Pickles Authentic NY Delicatessen, 1891 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-951-8662, picklescatering.com F+D CONT. ON PAGE 51

BEST CANADIAN DISH AVAILABLE IN ORLANDO: Valhalla Bakery’s Nanaimo bars 2603 E. South St., 407-613-5968, valhallabakery.com

Until butter tarts, muktuk, moose in a can, peameal bacon, Montreal smoked meat sandwiches and poutine decent enough to make a Canadian stand “on guard for thee” make their foray south of the 49th Parallel, Valhalla Bakery’s Nanaimo bars will be the singular finest Canadian treat you’ll find in these here parts. The dark-chocolate graham-cracker coconut crust layered with a top-secret vegan “butter” custard filling and topped in magical dark chocolate is best eaten with your hands. If forking it, flip it upside down to avoid any custard ooze. That’s how Ryan Reynolds does it. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL

FOOD & DRINK

BEST DESSERTS 1. Better Than Sex, 1905 N. Orange Ave., 407-761-8949, betterthansexorlando.com 2. Valhalla Bakery, Market on South, 2603 E. South St., 407613-5968, valhallabakery.com 3. Se7en Bites, 207 N. Primrose Drive, 407-203-0727, facebook.com/se7enbites

BEST DINER 1. Christo’s Café, 1815 Edgewater Drive, 407-425-8136 2. Linda’s Winter Park Diner, 1700 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-2343, winterparkdiner.com 3. Red Mug Diner, 63 E. Pine St., 407-734-5065, redmugdiner.com

BEST DOG-FRIENDLY PATIO 1. The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-7043200, thehammeredlamb.com 2. World of Beer Downtown, 431 E. Central Blvd., 407-2705541, worldofbeer.com 3. Dexter’s Thornton Park, 808 E. Washington St., 407-6482777, thorntonpark.dexwine.com

BEST FOOD TRUCK 1. Korean BBQ Taco Box, 407-453-2250, facebook.com/kbbqbox 2. La Empanada, laempanadatruck.com 3. Sushi & Seoul on the Roll, facebook.com/sushiandseoul

BEST FRENCH

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

1. Le Coq au Vin, 4800 S. Orange Ave., 407-851-6980, lecoqauvinrestaurant.com 2. Chez Vincent Traditional French Cuisine, 533 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-2929, chezvincent.com 3. Benjamin French, 716 E. Washington St., 407-797-2253, benjaminfrenchbakery.com

BEST FRIED CHICKEN 1. The Coop, 610 W. Morse Blvd., Winter Park, 407-843-2667, asouthernaffair.com

F+D CONT. ON PAGE 54

BEST PINK DRINK: Good Vibrations at New Moon Market 2314 Edgewater Drive, 407-440-8147, newmoonmarket.com

The drink of summer 2016, the one you’re tired of seeing on every basic bitch’s Instagram, is the Starbucks Pink Drink, a “secret menu” concoction of their strawberry açai refresher made with coconut milk instead of water, with strawberries and blackberries blended in. Bleah. We say New Moon’s summer 2016 Good Vibrations juice, a blend of coldpressed organic watermelon, pineapple, basil and lime, beats that goop all to hell. It’s a prettier color, it tastes cleaner and more summery, and it’s a LOT better for you.

BEST BROTH: Saigon Noodle and Grill 710 S. Goldenrod Road, 407-658-1967, also 101 N. Bumby Ave., 407-532-7373, saigonnoodleandgrill.com

You know that pile of toppings (basil, jalapeños, bean sprouts) and the lazy Susan packed with sauces (hoisin, sriracha, chilegarlic paste)? You won’t need them. Out of all the pho-bulous pho joints in this town, Saigon Noodle and Grill’s pho broth needs no help at all. On its own, it’s rich, perfectly seasoned and full of umami. Just pass the chopsticks. orlandoweekly.com

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READERS POLL 2. Publix, multiple locations, publix.com 3. Cask & Larder, 565 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 321280-4200, caskandlarder.com

BEST GREEK 1. Mediterranean Blue, 435 E. Michigan St., 407-422-2583, mediterraneanblue.net 2. The Greek Corner, 1600 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-0303, thegreekcorner.net 3. Taverna Opa, 9101 International Drive, 407-351-8660, opaorlando.com

BEST ICE CREAM

BEST STREET TACOS: Carne asada tacos at Tortas El Rey 6151 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-850-6980

There are three basic requirements to look for in a street taco before you sit down: double corn tortillas, salsa roja strong enough to give you a small asthma attack and lengua on the menu. Tortas El Rey has all of these things, qualifying them for consideration. And their carne asada tacos are some of the best in town. For less than $3, you can buy one pocket of meat heaven at this remodeled Checkers drive-thru and have enough cash left to buy a medium horchata to wash it down.

BEST PLACE TO TALK BREXIT OVER CURRY: Viceroy Chipshop’s Curry Club 407-456-7890

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BEST INDIAN 1. Tamarind Indian Cuisine, 501 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 321-207-0760, also 12309 E. Colonial Drive, 407-237-0920, tamarindfl.com 2. Saffron Indian Cuisine, Plaza Venezia, 7724 Sand Lake Road, 407-674-8899, saffronorlando.com 3. Moghul Indian Cuisine, 401 N. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-599-9001, moghulindian.com

BEST ITALIAN (NOT JUST PIZZA) 1. Prato, 124 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-262-0050, prato-wp.com 2. Antonio’s, 611 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407-645-1039, antoniosonline.com 3. Il Pescatore, 651 N. Primrose Drive, 407-896-6763, ilpescatoreonline.com

BEST JUICE/SMOOTHIES 1. Planet Smoothie, multiple locations, planetsmoothie.com 2. Tropical Smoothie Café, multiple locations, tropicalsmoothie.com 3. Skyebird Juice Bar & Experimental Kitchen, East End Market, 3201 Corrine Drive, 407-960-2861, skyebird.com

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PHOTO BY MONIVETTE CORDEIRO

There’s nothing more British than Indian food, and expats craving the curries found in merry ol’ England now have an outlet in which to enjoy Brit-style kormas, tikka masalas and, yes, even fiery (and very Indo-British) balti roshan thanks to the Viceroy Chipshop’s Curry Club, run by chef Paul Skingley and his wife, Jennie Lynn. The gang gathers every two weeks (check their Facebook page) at various venues across the city to eat and chat about matters across the pond. One thing you won’t hear is “Do you want that mild, medium or spicy?” The curries are prepared the way they’re supposed to be.

1. Jeremiah’s Italian Ice, multiple locations, jeremiahsice.com 2. Twistee Treat, multiple locations, twisteetreatusa.com 3. Kelly’s Homemade Ice Cream, 3114 Corrine Drive, 321-226-8685, kellyshomemadeicecream.com

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WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST DISNEY SPRINGS SNACK: Cap’n Crunch ice cream at Sprinkles 1676 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-560-9192, facebook.com/sprinklesdisney

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Pozole verde at Black Rooster Taqueria 1323 N. Mills Ave., 407-601-0994, blackroostertaqueria.com

How many times have we heard it: “Eat your greens!” Well, our new favorite way to follow the letter, if not at all the spirit, of the law is Black Rooster’s pozole verde. A big hunk of slow-cooked pork shoulder swimming in a bowl of broth all zingy with roasted tomatillo, chile poblano, cilantro and lime, it’s lush and meaty without being overpoweringly unctuous. And hey, it’s garnished with radish and green cabbage – practically health food, right?

BEST KOREAN 1. Korean BBQ Taco Box, 407-453-2250, facebook.com/kbbqbox 2. Izziban Sushi & BBQ, 5310 E. Colonial Drive, 407-270-8811, izziban.com 3. Korea House, 4501 E. Colonial Drive, 407-896-5994, also 1155 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-767-5918, koreahouseorlando.com

BEST LATE-NIGHT RESTAURANT (SERVING AFTER 11 P.M.) 1. Gringos Locos, 22 E. Washington St., 407841-5626, also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407-8965626, gringoslocos.com 2. Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com 3. Tako Cheena, 932 N. Mills Ave., 321-236-7457, mytakocheena.com

BEST LATIN 1. Black Bean Deli, 325 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-0294, also 1835 E. Colonial Drive, 407-203-0922, blackbeandeli.com 2. Pio Pio Restaurant, multiple locations, mypiopio.com 3. Peru Power, 407-790-8863, perupowerfoodtruck.com F+D CONT. ON PAGE 61

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

First thing: Sprinkles is supposed to be a cupcake shop, not an ice cream shop. Second thing: Crunchy cereal mixed into ice cream shouldn’t work. Third thing: Forget those other two things, because this is the flavor of the summer so far as we’re concerned. The ice cream is dense as gelato, infused with that special brown sugar and butter flavor and studded with individual Crunch nuggets. It’s so much better than their cupcakes that eponymous sea captain Horatio Magellan Crunch might commit auto-cannibalism if he got his cartoony little paws on a scoop.

BEST WAY TO EAT YOUR GREENS:

READERS POLL

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FOOD & DRINK

BEST MEXICAN 1. Gringos Locos, 22 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626, also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407-896-5626, gringoslocos.com 2. Garibaldi Mexican Restaurant, 925 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-5035, garibaldisemoran.com 3. La Fiesta Mexican Grill, 2901 Curry Ford Road, 407985-4340, facebook.com/ lafiestagrillandcatering

BEST MIDDLE EASTERN 1. Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine, 108 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-8609, also 7600 Dr. Phillips Blvd., 407-352-6766, bosphorousrestaurant.com 2. Hubbly Bubbly Falafel Shop, 3405 Edgewater Drive, 407-985-5841, hubblybubblyfalafel.com 3. Mediterranean Deli, 981 W. Fairbanks Ave., 407-539-2650

BEST NACHOS 1. Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, tijuanaflats.com 2. Miller’s Ale House, multiplelocations, millersalehouse.com 3. Gringos Locos, 22 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626, also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407-896-5626, gringoslocos.com

BEST OUTDOOR DINING 1. Hillstone Restaurant, 215 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-740-4005, hillstone.com 2. The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-7043200, thehammeredlamb.com 3. Vanbarry’s Public House, 4120 S. Orange Ave., 407-7048881, orlandopublichouses.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF WDW

BEST PHO 1. Pho 88, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, also 9728 E. Colonial Drive, 407-9307670, pho88orlando.com 2. Little Saigon, 1106 E. Colonial Drive, 407-423-8539, littlesaigonrestaurant.com 3. Pho Hoa, 649 N. Primrose Drive, 407-895-6098, phohoaorlando.biz F+D CONT. ON PAGE 64

BEST TIKI DRINK: Shrunken Zombie Head at Trader Sam’s Grog Grotto Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort, 1600 Seven Seas Drive, 407-824-2000, disneyworld.disney.go.com

It’s sticky and sweet and fruity and just screams “I’m on vacation, bitches!” (the dangerous combo of three different aged rums, fruit juice and falernum means you better be), but the best part about this not-cheap cocktail, an homage to the tiki craze of the 1960s, is that you get to keep the vessel the concoction comes in – a ceramic shrunken head replica.

BEST PRESCRIPTION FOR LIVING: The Sanctum Café’s bowls 715 N. Ferncreek Ave., 407-757-0346, thesanctumcafe.com

Some people eat to live; some live to eat. The Sanctum Cafe is that rare restaurant that can keep both happy. The green and grain bowls tick every health-food box: organic, non-GMO, locally sourced, vegan, gluten-free; no preservatives, dyes, artificial sweeteners or hydrogenated oils. (Obviously few things in life are 100 percent, but the Sanctum goes as far as it can on all of those fronts without getting cost-prohibitive.) On the other hand, the bowls assembled from such pure ingredients manage to be beautiful, filling and incredibly delicious – a riot of colors, textures and flavors. If food is medicine, we’ll happily take ours. orlandoweekly.com

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FOOD & DRINK

READERS POLL BEST PIZZA 1. Mellow Mushroom, multiple locations, mellowmushroom.com 2. Lazy Moon Pizza, 11551 University Blvd., 407-658-2396, lazymoonpizza.com 3. Anthony’s Thornton Park, 100 N. Summerlin Ave, 407-6480009, anthonyspizza.com

BEST PLACE TO BUY MEAT 1. Freshfields Farm, 400 E. Compton St., 407-423-3309, freshfieldsfarm.com 2. Petty’s Meats, 2141 W. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-862-0400, pettysmeats.com 3. Publix, multiple locations, publix.com

BEST PLACE TO BUY PRODUCE 1. Freshfields Farm, 400 E. Compton St., 407-423-3309, freshfieldsfarm.com 2. Winter Park Farmers Market, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. Saturday, 200 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-599-3397, cityofwinterpark.org 3. Publix, multiple locations, publix.com

BEST PUB GRUB

BEST MEDITERRANEAN BREAKFAST: Breakfast Plate at Park Cafe & Bakery 400 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-401-2088, parkcafebakery.com

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BEST RAMEN 1. Noodles & Rice, 813 N. Mills Ave., 407-895-8833, noodlesandricecafe.com 2. Sapporo Ramen, 5080 W. Colonial Drive, 407-203-6777 3. Seito Sushi Japanese Restaurant, 4898 New Broad St., 407-898-8801, seitosushi.com

BEST RESTAURANT TO TAKE A DATE 1. The Ravenous Pig, 1234 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407628-2333, theravenouspig.com F+D CONT. ON PAGE 67

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

“Mediterranean” cuisine spans a vast tract of the globe, but the delightfully healthy morning spread offered at Hannibal Square’s Park Cafe & Bakery will be as familiar to Turks as it is to Greeks: black and green olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, feta, jams, honey, Nutella, almonds, meats, dried apricots and more cheeses dutifully arranged on a pretty platter, with a basket of fresh-baked Turkish bagels (simit) and an omelet served with sausage (soujouk) to boot. It’s all meant to be enjoyed with Turkish tea, though capping your breakfast off with a demitasse of Turkish coffee is entirely apropos.

1. Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-704-4757, obliviontaproom.com 2. Fiddler’s Green Irish Pub, 544 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-2050, fiddlersgreen.pub 3. The Gnarly Barley, 7431 S. Orange Ave., 407-854-4999, thegnarlybarley.com

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READERS POLL 2. Hillstone Restaurant, 215 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-740-4005, hillstone.com 3. The Melting Pot, 7549 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-9031100, also 1200 Commerce Park Drive, Longwood, 407-8628773, meltingpot.com

BEST SANDWICHES/SUBS 1. Publix deli, multiple locations, publix.com 2. Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com 3. LaSpada’s Original Cheesesteaks and Hoagies, 1010 Lee Road, 407-5390067, also 4301 W. State Road 46, Sanford, 407-322-1011, laspadas.com

BEST SEAFOOD 1. Winter Park Fish Co., 761 Orange Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-6112, thewinterparkfishcompany.com 2. Lombardi’s Seafood, 1888 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-628-3474, lombardis.com 3. Bonefish Grill, multiple locations, bonefishgrill.com

BEST STEAKHOUSE 1. Linda’s La Cantina Steak House, 4721 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-4491, lindaslacantinasteakhouse.com 2. Ruth’s Chris Steak House, multiple locations, ruthschris.com 3. Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar, 933 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407699-9463, also 8030 Via Dellagio Way, 407-352-5706, flemingssteakhouse.com

BEST SUSHI 1. Seito Sushi, 4898 New Broad St., 407-898-8801, also 8031 Turkey Lake Road, 407-248-8888, seitosushi.com 2. Kabooki Sushi, 3122 E. Colonial Drive, 407-228-3839, kabookisushi.com 3. Sushi Pop Restaurant, 310 W. Mitchell Hammock Road, Oviedo, 407-542-5975, sushipoprestaurant.com

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FOOD & DRINK BEST BEER YOU’VE NEVER TRIED: Almaza Pilsner at Maraya at Sabrina’s Restaurant 8100 Crystal Clear Lane, 407-856-8155, marayarestaurant.com

This is a bragging-rights beer, if you and your friends are the type to sit around the firepit and trade drinking stories. Lucky for you – and for all your friends if you should bring them along – this brew from Beirut is a German pilsner-style swill with roasty notes and a malty finish that pairs well with just about anything on Maraya’s menu (or the “secret” items off the menu, like the impossibly rich labneh and stuffed grape leaves).

BEST GASTRONOMIC RUSSIAN ROULETTE: Omakase quickfire at Dragonfly Robata 7972 Via Dellagio Way, 407-370-3359, dragonflyrestaurants.com

Roughly translated as “trust the chef,” omakase dining is a series of small plates in which the entire menu is up to the chef’s whims. And at Dragonfly Robata, the results are delicious. At the time of writing, there was a summerthemed omakase menu on offer with unique twists on soba, sushi and grilled bison. Add to that the further option of a “quickfire” dish – that is to say, a total on-the-spot improvisation on the cook’s part – and you have a meal made for those of us who just wanna shut off our brains at the end of a day and be impressed.

BEST DINING EXPERIENCE THAT NEEDS TO COME BACK TO ORLANDO: Dinner in the Sky us.dinnerinthesky.com

In 2007, Dinner in the Sky elevated dining to new heights at the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions (IAAPA) show right here in Orlando, but after the concept made its rounds across the world, it never did return to our fair hamlet. We say it’s, ahem, high time Orlandoans got the opportunity to be comfortably strapped to a leather seat (itself secured to a dining table, which is connected to a crane) and then lifted 180 feet into the air for an outdoor dining experience unlike any other. orlandoweekly.com

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BEST WAY TO SURVIVE LONG LINES AT UNIVERSAL: Frozen butterbeer Wizarding World of Harry Potter, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-224-4233, universalorlando.com

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BEST TACOS 1. Gringos Locos, 22 E. Washington St., 407-841-5626, also 2406 E. Robinson St., 407896-5626, gringoslocos.com 2. Tako Cheena, 932 N. Mills Ave., 321-236-7457, mytakocheena.com 3. Tijuana Flats, multiple locations, tijuanaflats.com

BEST TEAHOUSE 1. Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria, 67 N. Bumby Ave., 407-894-0865, pompomsteahouse.com 2. Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-3621864, dandelioncommunitea.com 3. Infusion Tea, 1600 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-5255, infusionorlando.com

BEST THAI 1. SEA Thai Restaurant, 3812 E. Colonial Drive, 407-895-0985 2. Thai House of Orlando, 2117 E.

Colonial Drive, 407-898-0820, thaihouseoforlando.net 3. Royal Thai, 1202 N. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-0776, royalthai-orlando.com

BEST THEME PARK BAR 1. Margaritaville, Universal CityWalk 2. Rose & Crown pub, Epcot at Walt Disney World 3. Hog’s Head Pub, Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando Resort

BEST THEME PARK RESTAURANT 1. Be Our Guest, Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World 2. (tie) Le Cellier Steakhouse, Epcot at Walt Disney World 2. (tie) The Leaky Cauldron, Diagon Alley at Universal Orlando Resort 3. Biergarten Restaurant, Epcot at Walt Disney World F+D CONT. ON PAGE 73

PHOTO CREDIT JENNIFER HUBER

Literally nothing sounds worse than sweltering in line for two hours waiting to ride Harry Potter and the Escape From Gringotts, but at least there’s one consolation: that blended butterscotch concoction with the creamy, foamy “head” known as frozen butterbeer. And we’re not telling you to do this, but the stealthy addition of an airplane bottle of Baileys would make queuing up even sweeter.

READERS POLL

WRITERS’ PICKS

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SERVING UP

FOOD & DRINK

WHOLESOME NUTRITION & HEALTHY LIVING

BEST THING TO EAT AT A THEME PARK 1. Dole Whip at Disney 2. Butterbeer at Universal 3. Turkey legs at Disney

BEST VEGAN 1. Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 601 S. New York Ave., Winter Park, 407-228-3898, ethosvegankitchen.com 2. Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, dandelioncommunitea.com 3. Dixie Dharma, Market on South, 2603 E. South St., 407-613-5968, dixiedharma.com

BEST VEGETARIAN 1. Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave., 407-362-1864, dandelioncommunitea.com 2. Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 601 S. New York Ave., Winter Park, 407-228-3898, ethosvegankitchen.com 3. Dixie Dharma, Market on South, 2603 E. South St., 407-613-5968, dixiedharma.com

BEST VIETNAMESE 1. Pho 88, 730 N. Mills Ave., 407-897-3488, also 9728 E. Colonial Drive, 407-930-7670, pho88orlando.com 2. Little Saigon, 1106 E. Colonial Drive, 407-423-8539, littlesaigonrestaurant.com 3. Anh Hong, 1124 E. Colonial Drive, 407-999-2656, anhhongorlando.com

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST WINGS 1. Gator’s Dockside, multiple locations, gatorsdockside.com 2. The Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive, 407-898-5892, thehideawaybar.net 3. Oblivion Taproom, 5101 E. Colonial Drive, 407-704-4757, obliviontaproom.com F+D CONT. ON PAGE 76

BEST PLACE TO DO AN UMA THURMAN IMPERSONATION: Morimoto Asia 1600 E. Buena Vista Drive, 407-939-6686, patinagroup.com/morimoto-asia

LOCATIONS:

OK, chances are if you don a yellow jumpsuit and wield a Hattori Hanzo samurai sword around Morimoto Asia, you’ll likely incur the wrath of Disney security and the FBI. But if you’re the type to fully commit to a cosplay role, or go balls-out for Halloween, there’s no better place to get your Beatrix Kiddo on than at Morimoto Asia. Bound up the rail of the grand stairway as you slice, dice, leap and twirl your way to a face-to-face with your very own personal O-Ren Ishii. Or just get a table and enjoy the sticky ribs. Whatever.

BEST BARGAIN RESTAURANT PLAZA: The Center of Winter Park Orlando Avenue between Lee and Gay roads

This unfashionable retail void across the street from glossy Winter Park Village, sometimes still called “Kmart Plaza” after its long-departed big-box tenant, is possibly the area’s most concentrated and diverse hub of good, honest, unpretentious food. From longtime fixtures like Thai Place, Mexican magnet El Potro and respectable pizzeria Carlucci’s to newer stars like Indian godsend Tamarind (with the best price-quality-quantity ratio of any subcontinental resto in the metro) and George’s Gourmet Cookies (home of the aforementioned brownies as well as, oddly enough, some of the most succulent house-made corned beef around), this plaza is a delicious fluke of an intersection between real food and proletariat prices. orlandoweekly.com

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BEST DESSERT TO INSTAGRAM: Ka-ti brick toast at KrungThep Tea Time 1051 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-733-3561, facebook.com/krungthepteatime

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Diner en Blanc orlando.dinerenblanc.info

Rule No. 1 when attending a flash-mob outdoor dinner party where guests are required to bring their own food, wine, tables, chairs and utensils, and dress head to toe in white? Why, pack the Shout wipes (or Tide pen or what have you), of course! After all, you want this exclusive “allwhite” affair in October to be one to remember for its epicurean fancy, not the wine blotch or splatter of beef bourguignon on your designer vestments.

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

The ka-ti brick toast from KrungThep Tea Time in Winter Park is a relatively simple construction: cubes of thick-cut toast soaked in butter and condensed milk, topped with coconut ice cream and whipped cream, sprinkled with crushed peanuts, then drizzled with honey. The dessert makes for a dramatic presentation in and of itself, but if you position the sweet plate in front of the “K-R-U-N-G-T-H-E-P” marquee, then snap a pic with your smartphone, Instagram stardom is yours for the taking.

BEST REASON TO INVEST IN SHOUT WIPES:

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WRITERS’ PICKS

READERS POLL BEST BAR 1. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org 2. Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlightbeerparlour.com 3. Dancers Royale, 5221 E. Colonial Drive, 407-281-0120

BEST BAR TO MEET YOUR TINDER MATCH

BEST “HEAD EXPLODING SCENE FROM SCANNERS” LIVE SET: Hijokaidan, Jeff Carey, Atsuhiro Ito April 1, 2016, at Will’s Pub

BEST HOMAGE TO ORLANDO’S EDM HERITAGE:

BEST CITY SOUNDTRACK: Thad Anderson’s “Northbound” thadanderson.com

AAHZ’s “These Are the Breaks” event facebook.com/groups/aahzofficial

EDM is a major worldwide player in music again, but shockingly few realize that Orlando was both epicenter and forefront of the original American dance boom of the ’90s. We were up there with the usual hotbeds like NYC, London, Chicago and LA with our legendary parties and clubs. But what really certifies us is that we weren’t just an army of followers, but innovators with our own original sound that caught fire and inspired a whole generation of nu-skool breaks across the pond. And AAHZ’s “These Are the Breaks” reunion party at the Beacham was a prime nostalgic capsule of that golden era. 80

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BEST BARTENDER 1. Jen Harton at Lil Indies 2. Ramon Hernandez, Ember & Southern Nights 3. Lando Elliott at the Thirsty Topher

BEST BREWERY TAPROOM 1. Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlightbeerparlour.com 2. Orlando Brewing, 1301 Atlanta Ave., 407-872-1117, orlandobrewing.com 3. Crooked Can Brewing Co., 426 W. Plant St., Winter Garden, 407-3959520, crookedcan.com

BEST CLUB NIGHT 1. Mac & Cheese at Independent Bar 2. Body//Talk, bodytalkparty.org 3. Girl the Party, girltheparty.com

BEST CRAFT BEER BAR 1. Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive, 407-893-9832, redlightredlightbeerparlour.com 2. World of Beer, various locations, worldofbeer.com 3. (tie) Red Cypress Brewery, 855 E. State Road 434, Winter Springs, 407542-0341, redcypressbrewery.com 3. (tie) The Thirsty Topher, 601 Virginia Drive, 407-491-4342, facebook.com/thethirstytopher

BEST CRAFT COCKTAIL BAR 1. Hanson’s Shoe Repair, 27 E. Pine St., 407-476-9446, hansonsshoerepair.com 2. The Courtesy, 114 N. Orange Ave., 407-450-2041, thecourtesybar.com 3. Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org M+N CONT. ON PAGE 83

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PHOTO BY JAMES DECHERT

Some acts have specifically cited our city or its places in song, but how many have derived music from its actual physical and social context? Only one that we know of: local avant-garde composer, percussionist and UCF music professor Thad Anderson. For the March installment of the groundbreaking In-Between Series at the Gallery at Avalon Island, he debuted “Northbound,” a suite structured around SunRail. For the show, he played the ambient recording he made of an entire south-to-north trip on our newest public transit option and performed composed pieces between the train stops. It was an audio-spatial voyage and a conceptual triumph.

In an evening already bordering on pure sensory overstimulation on all fronts, the MultipleTap Tour – a traveling roadshow of Japanese noise legends that somehow landed in Orlando – saved a trump card till the very end. To close out the night, the pioneering noise duo Hijokaidan took the stage with Baltimorean circuit abuser Jeff Carey and lightsaber-wielding Atsuhiro Ito to engage in an ear-killing improvised jam. Standing four abreast on the stage like a sonic Magnificent Seven, the ad hoc quartet crafted and wielded an immense roar like a weapon, like a blanket, like a canvas. Visuals were stripped down to the light from Ito’s “Optron” and punishing strobes that, like the audio, offered no respite or quarter. Truly astonishing.

1. The Imperial Wine Bar and Beer Garden, 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-228-4992, also 116 E. First St., Sanford, 407-732-6956, imperialwinebar.com 2. Sportstown Billiards, 2414 E. Robinson St., 407-894-6258, sportstownbilliards.com 3. The Courtesy, 114 N. Orange Ave., 407-450-2041, thecourtesybar.com

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MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE

BEST DANCE CLUB 1. Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave., 407-649-3888, pulseorlandoclub.com 2. Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave., 407-8390457, facebook.com/ independentbarorlando 3. Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-4257571, parliamenthouse.com

BEST DIVE BAR 1. Wally’s Mills Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-8966975, wallysonmills.com 2. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org 3. The Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive, 407-898-5892, thehideawaybar.net

BEST DJ 1. DJ Nigel John, soundcloud. com/nigel-john 2. The Angel of Boom, realradio.fm 3. Jesse Derr

BEST ELECTRONIC ACT 1. Moon Jelly, soundcloud.com/ moonjellyband 2. Miss Fit Toys, soundcloud.com/missfittoys 3. Ben Briggs, benbriggs.net

BEST FOLK/COUNTRY ACT 1. Laney Jones, laney-jones.com 2. Oak Hill Drifters, oakhilldrifters.com 3. Terri Binion, terribinionmusic.com

BEST GAY BAR 1. Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave., 407-649-3888, pulseorlandoclub.com 2. Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-4257571, parliamenthouse.com 3. Southern Nights, 375 S. Bumby Ave., 407-412-5039, southernnightsorl.com

ART BY ERIN NOLAN

BEST HAPPY HOUR 1. The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave., 407-704-3200, thehammeredlamb.com 2. Santiago’s Bodega, 802 Virginia Drive, 407-412-6979, santigosbodega.com 3. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org

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BEST VALENTINE: “A Valentine for David Bowie” tribute at Will’s Pub We’re not going to rehash how awful this year has been for celebrity deaths so far. You already know. But the most shocking death of 2016 happened right off the bat when David Bowie died on Jan. 10, days after releasing his final album, Blackstar. And while the subsequent “tribute” to Bowie during the Grammys by Lady Gaga was atrocious (and we don’t care what Nile Rodgers says because he ruined “China Girl”), the local tribute on Feb. 14 was a thing of beauty. Whether solo or in groups, luminaries like Eugene Snowden, Kaleigh Baker, Jeff Nolan and even Watermark editor Billy Manes performed songs from pretty much every era of Bowie’s career. And while the interpretations were diverse, the sheer fandom coming off the stage showed more respect and love for the incomparable artist than any number of dancing keyboards ever could. Here’s our not-so-subtle nudge to make it an annual event. orlandoweekly.com

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BEST DOOR: Will’s Pub 1042 N Mills Ave., willspub.org

Standing out immediately, even on a glass door that’s covered in a Tower of Babel’s worth of band stickers and show flyers, is this stark command in bold black type: “If you are racist, sexist, homophobic, or an asshole … don’t come in.” It’s a perfect visual mix of underground DIY creativity and social consciousness. What lies on the other side of that door is different every single night, but that sentiment remains inflexibly the same.

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BEST HIP-HOP ACT 1. Solillaquists of Sound, solilla.com 2. D-Rugg Da Mohawk Don, reverbnation.com/druggdamohawkdon 3. Luscious Lisa, lusciouslisa.bandcamp.com

BEST HOOKAH LOUNGE 1. Kush Ultra Lounge and Hookah Bar, 23 S. Court Ave., 407-843-5874, kushultralounge.com 2. Natura, 12078 Collegiate Way, 407-482-8599, facebook.com/naturaucf 3. King Tut’s Lounge, 448 S. Alafaya Trail, 407-384-4434, kingtutslounge.net

BEST JAZZ ACT 1. The Absinthe Trio, myspace.com/acidjazztheabsinthe 2. The Flying Horse Big Band, flyinghorserecords.com 3. The Cook Trio, thecooktrio.com

BEST KARAOKE 1. Big Daddy’s, 3001 Corrine Drive, 407-644-2844, bigdaddysorlando.com 2. DJ Di, djdi.com 3. Rising Star Karaoke, Universal CityWalk

BEST LIVE MUSIC CLUB 1. The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave., 407-246-1419, thesocial.org 2. House of Blues Orlando, 1490 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, houseofblues.com 3. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org M+N CONT. ON PAGE 87

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READERS POLL BEST LOCAL MUSIC FESTIVAL, SERIES OR RECURRING EVENT 1. Free Fringe Outdoor Stage, Orlando Fringe Festival, orlandofringe.org 2. Florida Music Festival, floridamusicfestival.com 3. Southern Fried Sunday, facebook.com/ southernfriedsunday

BEST METAL ACT 1. Meka Nism, meka-nism.com 2. Gargamel!, gargamel.net 3. Sci-Fried, sci-friedband.com

BEST OPEN MIC 1. Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-975-3364, austinscoffee. com 2. Sleeping Moon Café, 495 N. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 321-972-8982, facebook.com/ sleepingmooncafe 3. The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St., 407-423-2788, thefalconbar.com

BEST POOLSIDE BAR 1. Wekiva Island, 1014 Miami Springs Drive, Longwood, 407862-1500, wekivaisland.com 2. Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-4257571, parliamenthouse.com 3. Hard Rock Hotel, 5800 Universal Blvd., 407-503-2000, hardrockhotels.com

BEST POP ACT 1. Uke-A-Ladies, facebook.com/ukealadies 2. Marc With a C, marcwithac.bandcamp.com 3. Moon Jelly, soundcloud.com/moonjellyband

BEST PUB 1. Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org 2. Fiddler’s Green Irish Pub & Eatery, 544 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-2050, fiddlersgreen.pub 3. The Harp and Celt, 25 S. Magnolia Ave., 407-481-2928, harpandcelt.com

BEST PUNK ACT 1. Wet Nurse, facebook.com/wetnurse 2. The Attack, theattack.us M+N CONT. ON PAGE 88

MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE BEST NEW FERN BAR: The Guesthouse 1321 N. Mills Ave., 407-630-6574

Though not strictly a fern bar, the new drinking spot that popped up in the former Peacock Room space offers the same sense of grownfolks amorous possibility as those storied pickup bars of the ’70s. Tasteful decor – with, yes, plenty of green plants – flattering lighting and well-built cocktails are the trademarks of the house built by former Bar-BQ-Bar principals Ashley McCammon Dishman and Hurst Marshall. We can’t promise you’ll get laid, but we can’t think of a better bar to go looking right now.

BEST INSANELY PROLIFIC CASSETTE LABEL: Illuminated Paths illuminatedpaths.org

When Illuminated Paths head honcho Joshua Rogers casually mentioned that he likes to release two or three things regularly, we figured that meant every few months, not every single week. And so far this year he’s mostly held to that pledge, releasing new cassette titles every seven days. Rogers handdubs every tape and assembles every unique cover and cache of included ephemera (pogs, ad clippings, trading cards). Though known as a go-to spot for ambient, vaporwave and adventurous electronica, IP also ventures into noise, beats and videowork too, defining the concept “labor of love.”

BEST REMODEL: The Copper Rocket Pub 106 Lake Ave., Maitland, 407-636-3171, letsmakeitathing.com

Locals were sad to hear of the Copper Rocket’s closing last year, but it managed to cheat death by acquiring a new owner. The new management did a much-needed remodel, opening up sightlines, adding new furniture and creating a cleaner, brighter version of the beloved Maitland haunt. They ramped up their event schedule this year with a wide variety of live music, comedy and trivia. If you haven’t stopped in for post-Enzian drinks, you have no one to blame but yourself. orlandoweekly.com

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BEST ORLANDO-CENTRIC DELUXE REISSUE: Death, Scream Bloody Gore May 2016, Relapse Records

Though recorded in Los Angeles, by not-yet-of-legal-drinking-age Chuck Schuldiner and Chris Reifert, Scream Bloody Gore is Florida through and through. Schuldiner was an Orlando resident for much of his life, and the blood-soaked anthems on SBG kickstarted a death metal movement that was very much tied into Central Florida. When Relapse decided to reissue this beautifully ugly document, they went all the way with stunning two-LP and three-CD box sets packed with rehearsal and demo extras, copious liner notes, varying hues of splattered vinyl and painstaking reproductions of the horror movie-worthy cover art. (They even commissioned a limited-edition bobblehead version of it.)

READERS POLL 3. Golden Pelicans, goldenpelicans. bandcamp.com

BEST REGGAE/SKA ACT 1. The Supervillains, thesupervillains.com 2. Savi Fernandez Band, savifernandezband.com 3. Kash’d Out, kashdout.com

BEST ROCK ACT 1. Gary Lazer Eyes, garylazereyes.com 2. Thomas Wynn and the Believers, thomaswynnandthebelievers.com 3. The Woolly Bushmen, thewoollybushmen.bandcamp.com

BEST SINGER-SONGWRITER 1. Kaleigh Baker, kaleighbaker.com 2. Marc With a C, marcwithac.com 3. Terri Binion, terribinionmusic.com

BEST SOUL ACT 1. The Sh-Booms, theshbooms.com 2. Eugene Snowden, thejointchiefs.com 3. Kaleigh Baker, kaleighbaker.com

BEST SPORTS BAR 1. Miller’s Ale House, various locations, millersalehouse.com 2. Sportstown Billiards, 2414 E. Robinson St., 407-894-6258, sporstownbilliards.com 3. The Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive, 407-898-5892, thehideawaybar.net

BEST STRIP CLUB 1. Dancers Royale, 5221 E. Colonial Drive, 407-281-0120, facebook.com/dancersroyale1 2. Rachel’s Orlando, 8701 S. Orange Ave., 407-858-9800, rachelsorlando.com 3. Thee Original Doll House Orlando, 5570 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-858-1319, dollhousestripclub.com

BEST TRIVIA NIGHT 1. Curtis Earth, earthtrivia.com 2. The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, facebook.com/thegeekeasy 3. Tasty Trivia, tastytriviaorlando.com

BEST WINE BAR 1. The Wine Room on Park Avenue, 270 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-696-9463, thewineroomonline.com 2. The Imperial Wine Bar and Beer Garden, 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-2284992, also 116 E. First St., Sanford, 407732-6956, imperialwinebar.com 3. Eola Wine Company, 430 E. Central Blvd., 407-481-9100, eolawinecompany.com

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BEST BATHROOM TO TRIP BALLS IN: Tap & Grind’s black-light wonderland 59 W. Central Blvd., 407-455-1100, tapandgrind.com

Not that we’re saying that you should drop acid (well, like, you should, but not because we told you to), but if you were to find yourself in an altered state downtown and had need of a beer and a bathroom, the place you should make a beeline to is Tap & Grind. Once you hang a right down the back hallway and get into the beautifully mosaicked water closet, lock the door and play with the lights. One controls a black light that, when paired with darkness, reveals hidden messages and artwork festooned across the tilework. The decor ties right in with the posi-tropical vibe T&G has going, so don’t worry that the secret messages are going to send you spiraling into bad trip land. Once you’ve had your fill, regain your composure, try to erase your permagrin and head back out to the bar room to calm your nerves with a nice, cold beer.

BEST NEW LIVE SERIES: Punk on the Patio

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

14 W. Washington St., 321-245-7730, thesocial.org

Live music downtown isn’t what it used to be. The heat and grit of small local shows – the true pulse of the city’s music scene – has gradually been whittled down to a fraction there, replaced largely by major stages and DJs. And it’s a damn shame. But Marshal Rones, of influential indie booking group Foundation Presents, has brought back some of the homegrown live buzz – most notably with this well-curated monthly series set in the great cloistered urban courtyard of the Patio. M+N CONT. ON PAGE 92

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BEST DIY VENUE: The Space Station 2539 Coolidge Ave., 321-356-2804, lowerearthorbit.com

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PHOTO BY JEN CRAY

By virtue of their pure idealism and operating model, true DIY venues are but sweet, fleeting dreams (R.I.P. Black Box Collective, the 13, the Space et al.). Luckily, the torch is currently being held by the Space Station, the best, most well-appointed DIY space the city has had in recent memory – possibly ever. With its style, cleanliness, air conditioning and dedicated music room, it’s practically a Taj Mahal by DIY standards. And its setting in the relative seclusion of an established industrial zone makes it just about the perfect spot for underground community.

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BEST BRAND-NEW CULTURAL CENTER: Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park, bluebambooartcenter.com

They say if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. So that’s what musician Chris Cortez, painter Melody Cortez and composer Mark Piszczek decided to do — they wanted a venue with great sound for jazz, classical, big band and world music (and maybe theater and dance too, at some point), so they created one almost from scratch. In a cavernous 5,000-squarefoot SoFa district warehouse – once upon a time, it was a piano repair facility – the trio put in loads of sweat equity to create an acoustically balanced performance space and recording studio within the original metal shell. Now fans of forward-looking music have a place to gather almost every night of the week.

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MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE

P O O L• DA RT S • GA M E S DA I LY D R I N K S P E C I A L S D O G F R I E N D LY

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1-5PM 801 E. WASHINGTON ST. THORTON PARK DISTRICT

BEST LEMONADE: Terri Binion’s new album The Day After the Night Before terribinionmusic.com

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PHOTO BY JIM LEATHERMAN

The fact that the new album by Orlando’s grande dame of Americana was 14 years in the making would make its release momentous no matter what. But in that time, Binion endured an unbelievable string of tragedy that included the deaths of her father, mother and wife, as well as the consequent tribulation of seeking legal relief in the face of same-sex marriage inequality. Somehow, by dint of will and artistry, she emerged from the darkness with a beautiful work of both heartbreak and hope – The Day After the Night Before is golden proof that you can’t keep a good woman down.

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BEST UNDERGROUND MULTIMEDIA BLITZ: Lydia Lunch’s Orlando takeover Just a performance here by Lydia Lunch would’ve been notable enough. But last September, her visit to Orlando was practically a full-on occupation. With her famous slash and sear, the NYC No Wave icon did indeed perform – twice. In addition to that, however, she also presented a visual art exhibit at the Gallery at Avalon Island, did a reading at CityArts Factory and made a guest appearance at a special dinner event based on her cookbook (!) at Maxine’s on Shine. And while she was here, she was the toast of the underground.

BEST PERMITTING EXCEPTION: Timucua White House 2000 S. Summerlin Ave., timucua.com

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Almost no other music venue in the city can claim the singularity and pure cultural worth as this true Orlando jewel. And this spring, it could’ve been shut down. The beloved space is a beautiful, purpose-built and astonishingly professional facility, but it’s part of a house in an established downtown neighborhood, which makes for all sorts of permitting complications. Luckily, the city had the wisdom to recognize the value of these public and mostly free events and, after an uncertain few months, granted Timucua a conditional use permit on the basis of its obvious public benefit, thus allowing a proud 16-year tradition to shine on.

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MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE BEST PLACE TO SEE SOMEONE FROM THE ’80S GET PUNCHED REPEATEDLY ON VHS OVER EAR-SPLITTING MUSIC: Total Punk Turnbuckle Tuesdays Will’s Pub, 1042 N Mills Ave., willspub.org

Late on Tuesday night, the already kinda gritty Will’s Pub gets a new coat of blood and dirt from Rich Evans of Total Punk, who blasts out ill-tempered scumrock jams on the house system while simultaneously projecting endless loops of classic Florida Championship Wrestling and other forgotten wrestling feds ripped from grainy VHS tapes. Relive the glory days of Kevin Sullivan’s satanic gimmick with a cheap drink in your claw and Gary Wrong screaming at you from every speaker.

BEST REFLECTION OF CHARACTER IN BATHROOM GRAFFITI: Jerry’s Nice & Easy Bar and Grill 5470 Hoffner Ave., 407-447-5222

In pen scratched into the wood over the urinal, it reads, “Stop jiggling the handle!” And then, in pencil: “Why?” That men’s-room-wall exchange sums up Jerry’s – a conversation between dedicated but maybe slightly confused patrons. The Nice & Easy Bar and Grill (they added the “Jerry’s” in 2005) is a contender for one of the oldest continuously operating bars in Orlando, and the walls of the men’s room are full of proud declarations from people who were “here” at this authentic dive. “I was here,” says one anonymous writer. “The water was cold.” There is plenty to read (much of the inspiration may come from the drink prices that start with $2.50 PBR tallboys and go through a full liquor bar); the bathroom walls go on to complain about “Fucking Crackers” (it’s mostly a country bar, remember). One guy uses a homophobic slur to claim gays aren’t allowed and other people jump in with, “Then go home.” And the patrons and bartenders are just as likely to talk to you at random as the walls. Personal space ain’t exactly priority No. 1, but it’s always from a welcoming place.

BEST ORLANDO MUSIC CULTURE MILESTONE: Will’s Pub 20th anniversary 1042 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org

Although it’s quickly being debunked due to the rising tide of localism here, Orlando’s tourist facade and often transient population still perpetuate the myth that the city is without authentic history. In local music culture, there is no more longstanding and truer pillar than Will’s Pub. And the fact that this legendary rock club celebrated its 20th anniversary last fall in grand, blockbusting fashion proves that we not only have history but we actually honor and uphold it, too. 102

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WRITERS’ PICKS

READERS POLL BEST ARTS ADVOCATE 1. Blue Star 2. Patrick Greene 3. Denna Beena

BEST ARTS EVENT/FESTIVAL 1. Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival, orlandofringe.org 2. Winter Park Sidewalk Art Festival, wpsaf.org 3. Artlando, artlando.com

BEST RECURRING ARTS NIGHTS 1. Thornton 2nd Thursday Wine & Art Walk, thorntonparkdistrict.com 2. Sanford Alive After 5, facebook.com/aliveafter5 3. 1st Thursdays at Orlando Museum of Art, omart.org

BEST BURLESQUE TROUPE 1. VarieTease, thevenueorlando.com 2. Corsets & Cuties, corsetsandcuties.com 3. Rock Hard Revue, rockhardrevue.com

BEST COMEDY CLUB OR NIGHT 1. SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave., 407-648-0001, sakcomedylab.com 2. Improv Orlando, 9101 International Drive, 407-480-5233, theimprovorlando.com 3. The Tumbleweed Comedy Tour, tomanddan.com

BEST FILM FEST OR SERIES

BEST WALKING NAUGHTY BITS:

BEST PLACE TO FIND FREE ART ELEMENTS: The margins of I-4

Jason Hackenwerth’s Art31 wearable inflatables art31.org; jasonhackenwerth.com

Last March, the Art & History Museums – Maitland’s monthlong Art 31 project brought works by a number of internationally acclaimed artists (including Dale Chihuly, Lorrie Fredette and Paige Smith) to the Orlando area. However, nothing topped Jason Hackenwerth’s biological balloon sculpture costumes for sheer grin-inducing WTF-ness. You can say they were abstract forms or alien fish; we could only see giant walking naughty bits, and we loved them for it. 106

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The on-ramps are better prospects than the off-ramps, as if merging depends on purging. Outside the I-4 Ultimate construction fences, there’s a no-man’s-land of heaved purses, flung coolers, thrown books, car parts, children’s toys … the Orlampa Corridor’s forgotten detritus, a fascinating linear treasure trove that’s constantly changing. You’ll need both a driver and a spotter, but the driver needs a fighter pilot’s nerves and reaction time. Turn sharp eyes toward any area where they’ve stopped mowing, and look for piles. At the west side of Kaley, for example, we recently found brass engine parts and a rusty aqua chaise lounge. At Princeton’s little westbound on-ramp: an Encyclopedia Britannica – that rare Volume XII – and a dog dish. All fodder for the muse.

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1. Florida Film Festival, floridafilmfestival.com 2. Enzian FilmSlam, enzian.org 3. Orlando Film Festival, orlandofilmfest. com

BEST GALLERY 1. CityArts Factory, orlandoslice.com 2. Snap! Space, snaporlando.com 3. The Gallery at Avalon Island, avalongallery.org

BEST LIBRARY 1. Orlando Public Library (OCLS main branch, downtown), 101 E. Central Blvd., 407-835-7323, ocls.info 2. Winter Park Public Library, 460 E. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-6233300, wppl.org 3. Seminole County Public Library Central Branch, 215 N. Oxford Road, Casselberry, 407-665-1500, seminolecountyfl.gov A+C CONT. ON PAGE 109

PHOTO OF JASON HACKENWERTH WEARABLES COURTESY ART & HISTORY MUSEUMS – MAITLAND

BEST DANCE COMPANY 1. Orlando Ballet, orlandoballet.org 2. DRIP, ilovedrip.com 3. Voci Dance, vocidance.com

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READERS POLL BEST LITERARY/READING SERIES 1. Orlando Cringe, facebook.com/ orlandocringe 2. Live Lewd Girls, facebook.com/ livelewdgirls 3. Orlando Story Club, orlandostoryclub.com

BEST LOCAL ACTOR/ ACTRESS 1. Blue Star 2. Summer Aiello 3. John DiDonna

BEST LOCAL AUTHOR 1. Robert James 2. Teege Braune 3. Tod Caviness

PHOTO BY SETH KUBERSKY

BEST LOCAL COMEDIAN 1. Ross McCoy 2. Logan Donahoo 3. Matt Gersting (RIP, buddy)

BEST LOCAL VISUAL ARTIST 1. Andrew Spear, spearlife.com 2. Boy Kong, boykongart.com 3. Morgan Steele, morgansteele.com (RIP, Rativa) A+C CONT. ON PAGE 110

WRITERS’ PICKS

ARTS & CULTURE

BEST NEW EXPERIMENTAL ART SPACE: A Place Gallery & Studios 649 N. Mills Ave., facebook.com/aplacegallery

The art scene has been especially active in the past 12 months, with galleries closing and opening (usually there’s more of the former). Upstairs in a creaky old building at the crossroads of Mills 50, A Place Gallery – the public wing of the Time Waste Management art collective – hosts exciting young and emerging artists. You might see projection mapping or dust collecting, experience a performance meditating on someone’s grandmother through the medium of her old fur coat or hear African-American artists discussing the black experience. It’s all about the ideas, and unlike many galleries that program a year or more in advance, A Place is deliberately of-the-moment. Original ideas aren’t in short supply these days, but venues that air them to the public are. Check it out.

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READERS POLL BEST MOVIE THEATER 1. Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland, 407629-0054, enzian.org 2. AMC Disney Springs 24, 1500 Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-827-1308, amctheatres.com 3. Cobb Plaza Cinema Café, 155 S. Orange Ave., 321-5582878, cobbtheatres.com

BEST MURAL OR OTHER PUBLIC ART 1. Mills 50 electrical boxes, dumpsters and storm drains, mills50.org 2. “Paint the Trail” by Jeff Sonksen, facebook.com/ painttheseminoletrail 3. “Rest in Purple” Prince tribute mural by Andrew Spear at the Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive

BEST NEW ARTS PUBLICATION: Artborne magazine artbornemagazine.com

No growing pains here: Artborne sprang onto the scene fully formed, its design and aesthetic perfectly professional and its insider knowledge of Orlando’s art world deep and tasteful. It’s the local art magazine we didn’t know we needed, but are so glad to welcome.

BEST AWKWARD NEW KID: Orlando Cringe facebook.com/orlandocringe

While there was no shortage of reading events this year, Orlando Cringe set itself apart from the herd based purely on content. Instead of readers delivering painstakingly crafted poetry and prose written by (mostly) level-headed adults, readers at Cringe pull their readings straight from the diaries of their younger selves. While the writing may not be on the level of a multilayered sonnet about Greek pottery, audiences do get to hear about middle-school crushes, draconian parents and the heartbreaking betrayals of supposed BFFs. And while Orlando Cringe does live up to its name, inducing shudders and groans of familiarity with the subject matter, the more uplifting aspect of it is that it reminds us that we were maybe not as alone in our “awkward stage” as we thought we were. 110

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BEST MUSEUM 1. Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St., 407-5142000, osc.org 2. Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave., 407-8964231, omart.org 3. Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-645-5311, morsemuseum.org

BEST THEATER COMPANY 1. Orlando Shakespeare Theater, 812 E. Rollins St., 407-447-1700, orlandoshakes.org 2. SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave., 407-648-0001, sakcomedylab.com 3. Mad Cow Theatre, 54 W. Church St., 407-297-8788, madcowtheatre.com

BEST THEATER SPACE 1. Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave., 844-513-2014, drphillipscenter.org 2. The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive, 407-412-6895, thevenueorlando.com 3. Lowndes Shakespeare Center, 812 E. Rollins St., 407447-1700, orlandoshakes.org

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ARTS & CULTURE

BEST AND BRIGHTEST COLORS: Voci Dance’s Paint Chips One of our very favorite shows of Orlando Fringe 2016 was Paint Chips, based on Ken Nordine’s 1960s spoken-word classic, Colors. Local dance troupe Voci choreographed dozens of Nordine’s short odes to individual colors, preserving the cool, jazzy wit of the originals and imbuing it with their own sprightliness, poignance and intelligence. You may feel that you were colorblind before you embarked on this psychedelic journey. A+C CONT. ON PAGE 114

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PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST DEDICATION: The Matt Gersting Stage at Bull & Bush 2408 E. Robinson St., 407-896-7546, bullandbushorlando.com

The unexpected death of Matt Gersting left a big hole in Orlando’s heart, particularly in the music and comedy scenes. Gersting first rose to local significance in bands like the Sugar Oaks, but his more recent claim to fame was as the founder of the Shit Sandwich comedy showcase at Bull & Bush and, later, one of the original organizers of the Orlando Indie Comedy Fest. It’s not a stretch to say that Orlando comedy would not be at the level that it’s reached in recent years without Matt Gersting. So it was bittersweet when the Bull & Bush dedicated its stage to Gersting, complete with a memorial plaque. The Matt Gersting Stage may not be the birthplace of the alt-comedy scene here, but it is where it grew up, and having Gersting’s name permanently associated with it feels like the right thing to do. A+C CONT. ON PAGE 119

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BEST MEMORIAL SPACE:

PHOTO BY CHRIS TOBAR RODRIGUEZ

Seneff Arts Plaza at the Dr. Phillips Center for Performing Arts In the weeks after the Pulse shooting, the broad lawn in front of the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, across from City Hall, became an impromptu public mourning space where people could express their grief through songs, prayers and art. Locals brought flowers and teddy bears, while some musicians donated their time to play in the foreground. President Obama and Vice President Biden came here to lay wreaths of white roses. The day after the shooting, 20,000 people gathered to cry, light candles and listen silently while a nearby church bell tolled 49 times.

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BEST COMIC THAT MADE US CRY: Stab At It, “Pearl in the Snow” E.R. Jess’ web comic Stab At It, published roughly weekly, is a dependably amusing, slightly nerdy, often surreal four-panel exploration of life’s absurdities … except when it’s more than that. On Feb. 8, 2016, Jess posted “Pearl in the Snow,” a format-buster that was neither four panels nor amusing. It was, in fact, an exquisite three-page meditation on loss and self-reliance and growth. (Plus a kitten, because of course.) In its simplicity and honesty, every perfectly chosen word pierced to the heart, and no matter how many times we’ve read it, we still mist up every time. A homegrown example of what comics should and can be.

BEST ATTEMPT AT THE DAILY SHOW WITH POETRY: Loose Lips 8 p.m. every first Tuesday, Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave., willspub.org

Tod Caviness may not have Jon Stewart’s (or any) hair, but then again neither does Trevor Noah. The former host of what was voted Orlando’s best poetry night an absurd number of times, Speakeasy, Caviness wasn’t gone from the stage for a year before he founded a new outlet for local writers. This time, it’s a curated list of notables with a passion for current events. The readings take many forms – poems, essays, rants – but they all share one thing in common: They have to revolve around something that happened in the last month. Of course, this may not have been the best year to kick this off; 2016 has been, well, not a treasure trove of good feelings. Still, the writers have made lemonade of it all, and we have some new, more articulate voices to compete with all the shouting on our feeds. A+C CONT. ON PAGE 123

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ARTS & CULTURE

BEST FATHER-DAUGHTER ACT: Blair and Nahli Sligar, Rats Comin’ Up April-May 2016 at Redefine Gallery, 29 S. Orange Ave., facebook.com/hogeathog

Blair Sligar is magic. His Hog Eat Hog woodworking shop is responsible for the vibe of many of your favorite hangs (for instance: the beautiful bar at the Imperial); his “rascallin’” philosophy of life is inspirational; and his relationship with his little daughter Nahli is a wonder to behold. In their joint show at Redefine Gallery, Nahli supplied the narrative impetus in the classic tradition of creating art from the subconscious (“scared of rats comin’ up the toilet when I’m on one”), and they played back and forth until they had a fully fleshed-out show of drawings, paintings, poetry and articulated wooden animal sculptures in Sligar’s inimitable almost-abstract style.

BEST YOUNG ARCHITECT: Wes Featherston Process Architecture, 407-924-8884, beginprocess.com

Last year, we noted a fine young artist putting Orlando on the art map; this year it’s an architect putting us on the design map. That bus bench in front of Yamasan Sushi at Mills Park, so clean and futuristic? Wes Featherston did that. That little gem of a metal sculpture by Marcos Cruz over by Tako Cheena? As curator of the Urban Art Museum, that was Featherston giving the sidewalk a treat. Process Architecture’s unique style is helping to redefine Orlando today, and they’re doing similar good things as far away as Saskatchewan (no Canada jokes here). It’s about time an architect started cleaning up the local claptrap of fake stucco and Corinthian columns, and giving us a look that says Orlando in the 21st century. A+C CONT. ON PAGE 124

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AUTHENTIC CHICAGO HOT DOGS

PHOTO COURTESY ORLANDO SHAKES

BUY ONE HOT DOG, GET ONE FREE! Chili Dogs • Kraut Dogs • Slaw Dogs • Spicy Dogs • Fantastic French Fries Equal or lesser value. Not valid with other offers. Expires July 28th, 2016

BEST USE OF A THEATRICAL COSTUME SHOP: Orlando Shakespeare Theater’s angel wings orlandoshakes.org

The Pulse Nightclub tragedy triggered an outpouring of artistic responses, as Orlando’s creative community expressed their pain and perseverance by creating paintings and performance. Perhaps none were more poignant than the 50 sets of huge angel wings constructed by Orlando Shakespeare Theater’s costume shop. Originally commissioned by OST’s Jim Helsinger to shield mourners from Westboro Baptist Church protesters at victims’ funeral, the wings have also appeared at the Dr. Phillips Center’s “Beautiful Together” benefit concert, creating an inspiring image of love and unity broadcast around the world. A+C CONT. ON PAGE 129

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FILM STILL FROM “BORN TO BE BLUE” COURTESY IFC FILMS

ARTS & CULTURE

BEST NEW FILM SERIES: More Q Than A The Gallery at Avalon Island, 39 S. Magnolia Ave, 407-317-8367, avalongallery.org

This rare-film series is masterminded by three film fiends who couldn’t be more different from one another but collectively make perfect sense as partners – Patrick Greene, Joshua David Martin and Kyle Eagle – according to nothing more than their own gut instincts and tastes. Film selections are refreshingly made along the lines of, “Wouldn’t it be cool to see …,” instead of anticipated box office receipts. So far they’ve screened works ranging from Alejandro Jodorosky to Fritz Lang, and they were the only game in town for the recent Chet Baker biopic, Born to Be Blue. Screenings take place at the Gallery at Avalon Island, where there’s usually coffee available, and it’s a much better way to catch a classic flick than Netflix on a laptop.

BEST FAN ARMY: A Mediocre Time With Tom & Dan tomanddan.com

Making a living at podcasting is one of those concepts that, just a few years ago, people would have laughed at you for even considering. But that’s just what Daniel Dennis and Tom “Drunky the Bear” Vann have managed to do. Since 2009, the pair have developed a part-time side project from their day jobs at Real Radio 104.1 into a local media empire. In addition to the successful podcast, Tom and Dan host beer festivals, comedy showcases, parties and cruises for their fans, affectionately called “scumbags” (or, if they pay for a subscription to premium content, “big dick millionaires” or “BDMs”). Their success has even prompted the ClearChannel-owned Real Radio to hire them on for their own FCC-approved version of the show, A Corporate Time With Tom & Dan, a testament to the market power of their rabid fans. But please, scumbags and BDMs, stop writing in “A Mediocre Time With Tom & Dan” for Every. Single. Category. in our BOO Readers Poll. We get it, you like them. orlandoweekly.com

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WRITERS’ PICKS

READERS POLL BEST ADULT ENTERTAINMENT STORE 1. Fairvilla Megastore, 1740 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-4256005, fairvilla.com 2. Premier Couples Superstore, 5009 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-8572050, premiercouples.net 3. Fairvilla’s Sexy Things, 7535 International Drive, 407-826-1627, fairvillasexythings.com

BEST ANTIQUE STORE 1. Renninger’s Antique Center, 20651 U.S. Highway 441, Mount Dora, 352383-8393, renningers.net 2. Adjectives Market, multiple locations, adjstyle.com 3. Orange Tree Antiques Mall, 853 S. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-6444547, orangetreeantiquesmallfl.com

BEST BARBERSHOP 1. Floyd’s 99 Barbershop, multiple locations, floydsbarbershop.com 2. Liberty Barber Shop, 49 N. Primrose Drive, 407-590-9330, libertybarbershop.com 3. Jusincredible Cutz, 2413 E. South St., 407-228-0080, jusincrediblecutz.com

BEST BEAUTY SERVICES (FACIALS, WAXING, LASER, ETC.)

BEST CAMERA CARE: Michael Livera at Kiwi Camera Service 1880 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park, 407-539-2731, kiwicameraservice.com

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460 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-618-1723, also 451 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs, 407-670-1400, soma.com

Girls with big girls, Soma Intimates has your back (literally). If you think the only place to get a supportive bra that’s also pretty is in your imagination, think again. More than 75 percent of women are wearing the wrong bra size, it’s said, which can strain your back muscles and also your patience when you are trying to wear a cute dress without having grandma lingerie peeking out. Soma’s fit specialists will get that rack properly stacked in the right cup and band size, no prob – several styles are even designed to minimize the dreaded “bra bulge.”

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BEST TV ATTORNEY COMMERCIAL GUEST STAR: John Morgan’s dog, Emma the German Shepherd Before we got a glimpse of the Morgans’ German Shepherd, Emma, we legitimately thought John & Co. were just a bunch of litigation robots. Not so! The pooch served to humanize the group (Ultima Morgan even filmed a follow-up TV spot specifying that Emma was her dog, not John’s – family drama!) and we’d be happy to see her more often. You could say we’re “For the Puppy.”

BEST BICYCLE SHOP 1. Orange Cycle, 2204 Edgewater Drive, 407-422-5552, orangecycleorlando.com 2. Ragin’ Cajun Bike Shop, 1809 S. Orange Ave., 407-999-9821, ragincajunbikeshop.com 3. Kyle’s Bike Shop, 203 N. Primrose Drive, 407-228-7088, kylesbikeshop.net

BEST BOOKSTORE 1. Barnes & Noble, multiple locations, barnesandnoble.com 2. Bookmark It, 2906 Corrine Drive, 407-389-9870, bookmarkitorlando.com 3. OCLS Friends of the Library Bookstore, 101 E. Central Blvd., 407-835-7496, oclsfriends.info G+S CONT. ON PAGE 137

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

The general population of Orlando might not know that a certified camera-repair genius lives among us, but plenty of us who are photographically inclined are more than aware. Michael Livera is the man to see if your camera body or lens is malfunctioning (or simply needs a tune-up), not just for lucky locals but for photogs all over the country – Orlando pro shooters are in and out of the door, and equipment arrives by mail daily, keeping Livera head-down in his shop. But he comes up for air a few times a year to host a swap and sale, where you might find or trade for any manner of prized photographic item, from a 70-yearold Rolleiflex to a gently used light meter. No fear if you’re a newbie, either; Livera is always willing to help educate an inexperienced enthusiast. 132

BEST PLACE TO HOIST ’EM UP:

1. Honey Comb Hair and Makeup Studio, 1807 Winter Park Road, 407622-1558, honeycombhairorlando.com 2. Spa810, 125 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-790-7876, spa810.com 3. Eclips Salon and Spa, 819 Virginia Drive, 407-228-1178, eclipssaloninc.com

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READERS POLL BEST BOUTIQUE

GOODS & SERVICES

1. Cloak & Dapper, physical location now closed, clkdpr.com 2. Sophie & Trey, 136 N. Fourth St., Lake Mary, 844-232-7364, sophieandtrey.com 3. Etoile Boutique, 2424 E. Robinson St., 407-895-6363, etoileboutique.com

BEST COMIC BOOK SHOP 1. Gods & Monsters, Artegon Marketplace, 5250 International Drive, 407-270-6273, godmonsters.com 2. A Comic Shop, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, 407-3329636, acomicshop.com 3. Coliseum of Comics, multiple locations, coliseumofcomics.com

BEST DOGGIE DAY CARE 1. Happy Paws Pet Resort, 12693 E. Colonial Drive, 407-2825656, happypawsorlando.com 2. Ranger’s Pet Outpost and Retreat, 1239 Minnesota Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-4884, rangerspetoutpost.com 3. Dog Day Afternoon, 1015 Sligh Blvd., 407-835-9200, dogdayafternoon.net

BEST FARMERS MARKET 1. Winter Park Farmers Market, Saturdays, 200 W. New England Ave., Winter Park, 407-5993397, cityofwinterpark.org 2. Orlando Farmers Market, Sundays, Lake Eola Park, corner of East Central Boulevard and North Eola Drive, orlandofarmersmarket.com 3. Winter Garden Farmers Market, Saturdays, Downtown Pavilion, 104 S. Lakeview Ave., Winter Garden, wintergardenfarmersmarket.com

BEST FLORIST 1. In Bloom Florist, 325 W. Gore St., 407-649-7771, inbloomflorist.com 2. Lee James Floral Designs, 1249 N. Orange Ave., 407-8975300, leejamesfloral.com 3. Porch Therapy, East End Market, 3201 Corrine Drive, 407489-8973, porchtherapy.com

BEST FURNITURE STORE 1. Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave., 407-2284403, also 116 E. First St., Sanford, 407-322-1449, washburnimports.com G+S CONT. ON PAGE 138

BEST MARKETING MOMENT: In Bloom’s “Boys and Blooms” inbloomflorist.com

An award for advertising might seem strange, but hey, these days we’re so surrounded by it that we’re just happy when it’s showing us something we’d actually want to see. And that definitely applies to In Bloom Florist’s celebration of boys and their flowers, featuring manly young men bedecked in wreaths and flower crowns. How does our garden grow? Silver bells, cockleshells and pretty boys all in a row.

BEST PLACE TO HELP YOU CREATE YOUR URBAN FARM: Horstmeyer Farm and Garden 115 N. Laurel Ave., Sanford, 407-322-1235, horstmeyer.com

You want to live off the land without moving to the country, but don’t know where to start your foray into urban farming? Sanford’s Horstmeyer Farm and Garden can help you pick out chicks for your city coop or ducklings for your pond or lake, all while giving you expert gardening and horticulture advice. The giant store has supplies out the yin-yang, from feeds and seeds to horse tack and farm implements, but many go simply to pick up fresh eggs, raw milk and unfiltered honey. Best of all, their friendly staff never fail to help load up your vehicle. orlandoweekly.com

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WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST STATIONERY STORE: Paper Goat Post 1215 N. Orange Ave., 407-207-1264, papergoatpost.com

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2. Adjectives Market, multiple locations, adjstyle.com 3. 1618 Something Different, 1618 N. Orange Ave., 407-897-6707

BEST HAIR SALON 1. Alchemy, 2812 Edgewater Drive, 407-650-8022, alchemyorlando.com 2. Lambs Eat Ivy Salon, 804 E. Washington St., 407-245-7006 3. Trend Studios, 101 S. Garland Ave., also 119 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-237-3213, trendstudioswinterpark.com

BEST LINGERIE STORE 1. Fairvilla Megastore, 1740 N. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-425-6005, fairvilla.com 2. Soma Intimates, 460 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-618-1723, also 451 E Altamonte Drive, 407-670-1400, soma.com 3. Fairvilla’s Sexy Things, 7535 International Drive, 407-8261627, fairvillasexythings.com

BEST LIQUOR STORE 1. Total Wine & More, 2712 E. Colonial Drive, 407-894-6553, also 4625 Millenia Plaza Way, 407-352-6330, totalwine.com 2. ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, multiple locations, abcfws.com 3. Wally’s Mills Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave., 407-8966975, wallysonmills.com G+S CONT. ON PAGE 143

PHOTO BY LINDSEY THOMPSON

Run by twins Megan and Cedar Watson, this delightful store should fulfill all your whimsical stationery and craft needs. These sisters are trying to bring the lost art of snail mail back to Orlando, one pretty piece of paper at a time. If you’re looking for professional help to design and plan your event, look no further: These ladies got it!

READERS POLL

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READERS POLL BEST NAIL SALON 1. Marilyn Monroe Spas, multiple locations, marilynmonroespas.com 2. Spa Nails, 3463 Edgewater Drive, 407-999-2666, spanails.vpweb.com 3. Nails by Mercede, 2996 Edgewater Drive, 407-250-5854

BEST PET GROOMER 1. Woof Gang Bakery & Grooming, multiple locations, woofgangbakery.com 2. Plush Paws Pet Salon, 710 W. Princeton St., 407-442-7297, plushpawsinc.com 3. Ranger’s Pet Outpost and Retreat, 1239 Minnesota Ave., Winter Park, 407622-4884, rangerspetoutpost.com

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST PET SUPPLIES STORE 1. Petsmart, multiple locations, petsmart.com 2. Woof Gang Bakery, multiple locations, woofgangbakery.com 3. Pookie’s Pet Nutrition & Bow Wow Bakery, 1500 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-622-7387, pookiesbowwowbakery.com

GOODS & SERVICES

BEST PLACE TO ADOPT A PET 1. Orange County Animal Services, 2769 Conroy Road, 407-836-3111, ocnetpets.com 2. Pet Alliance of Greater Orlando (formerly SPCA of Central Florida), 2727 Conroy Road, 407-351-7722, petallianceorlando.org 3. Pet Rescue by Judy, 401 S. Laurel Ave., Sanford, 407-302-4497, petrescuebyjudy.com

BEST RECORD STORE 1. Park Ave CDs, 2916 Corrine Drive, 407-447-7275, parkavecds.com 2. Rock & Roll Heaven, 1814 N. Orange Ave., 407-896-1952, rock-n-rollheaven.com 3. East West Music & More, 4895 S. Orange Ave., 407-859-8991

BEST SMOKE SHOP 1. Pipe Dreams, multiple locations 2. Kathmandu, 23 S. Court Ave., 407-316-0026, facebook.com/kathmanduorlando 3. Climax Smoke Shop, 714 N. Mills Ave., 407-440-4506, orlandosmokeshop.com G+S CONT. ON PAGE 144

BEST PLACE TO BUY A PROJECT: Adjectives Market Unhinged 1200 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs, 321-203-2542, adjstyle.com

You’ll find plenty of beauties to up the pulchritude of your pad at the Adjectives Market locations, but if you’re looking for a fixer-upper that just needs a little paint, a little stain, a little hardware to make it a gem (at a steal of a price), the Unhinged location in Altamonte Springs is where to go. Find dressers, chairs, art and more just waiting for a little TLC.

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READERS POLL BEST TATTOO STUDIO 1. Trinity Tattoo Company, 193 N. U.S. Highway 17-92, Longwood, 407-659-0000, trinitytattoo.com 2. Ascension Tattoo, 832 N. Mills Ave., 407-898-2013, ascensiontattoo.com 3. Habitual Ink, 907 State Road 436, Casselberry, 407960-4053, habitualink.com

BEST VAPE STORE 1. The Vapour Room of Orlando, 1805 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-9517250, vaporstoreorlando.com 2. Fast Eddie’s Vape Shop & Lounge, 227 E. Michigan St., 407-203-3677, fasteddiesvape.com 3. (tie) Smoke Pharmacy, 715 N. Fern Creek Ave., 407-2706200, smokepharmacy.com 3. (tie) The Vaporatory, 790 N. State Road 434, Altamonte Springs, 407-504-7368, thevaporatory.com

BEST VETERINARIAN

BEST SHOPPING TO HELP OTHERS: Orlando Strong T-shirt collection, orlandoteeshirt.com

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BEST VINTAGE OR USED CLOTHING STORE 1. Dechoes Resale, multiple locations, dechoesresale.com 2. Plato’s Closet, multiple locations, platoscloset.com 3. The Owl’s Attic, 3106 Corrine Drive, theowlsattic.com

BEST WINE SHOP 1. Tim’s Wine Market, multiple locations, timswine.com 2. The Wine Room, 270 S. Park Ave., Winter Park, 407-696-9463, thewineroomonline.com 3. Quantum Leap Winery, 1312 Wilfred Drive, 407-730-3082, quantumleapwinery.com

G+S CONT. ON PAGE 147

PHOTO COURTESY ORLANDOTEESHIRT.COM

Post-Pulse, we were all looking for a way to help. Some gave blood, some gave time, and some helped by spending their retail dollars. Local printers Go Big set up a storefront for T-shirts and handled the printing, ordering, shipping and donation of proceeds to the GLBT Community Center of Orlando for any artist who contributed a design, including Secret Society Goods, Rhett Withey and our own Chris Tobar Rodriguez. (Since this is the Best of Orlando issue, not the Shittiest of Orlando issue, we won’t mention the rampant art thievery, dubiously backed by actual donations, that flooded Etsy and Amazon with Pulse-related goods.) “Orlando Strong” was a real thing in those sad weeks – it still is – and we’re so proud of the folks who rolled up their sleeves to help in all the small ways to create a United Orlando.

1. Loch Haven Veterinary Hospital, 532 Virginia Drive, 407-896-0941, lochhavenvet.com 2. Fairbanks Animal Hospital, 753 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park, 407-644-9494 3. McAbee Veterinary Hospital, 4586 N. Palmetto Ave., Winter Park, 407-6715858, mcabeeveterinary.com

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BEST ADULT COLORING BOOK: Jen Jedlicka’s The City Colorful Two things that seemed to be uber-popular in the last 12 months: adults scribbling inside the lines as a form of stress relief, and Orlandoans stepping up to pay honor to their most beloved buildings – though too many of those have been getting bulldozed. Local artist Jen Jedlicka managed to hit both notes with perfect pitch in her book The City Colorful, 10 glorious pages of black-on-white line art that immortalize landmarks both gone and still standing. Want to make the College Park Publix purple? Goth up Beefy King in black and red? It’s all within your power; all you need is a fistful of markers.

BEST SPA TO LIGHTEN YOUR STRESS BUT NOT YOUR WALLET: Flower of Life Day Spa 1408 Gay Road, Winter Park, 386-931-9427, facebook.com/floweroflifedayspa

You won’t feel like just another body aching to be manipulated at Flower of Life Day Spa. Owner Christina Castine is as affable a millennial you’ll meet, and knows how to mold her personality according to your needs (some like chitchatting during massages; others don’t) but, ultimately, it’s her fingers that do the talking. Feeling those rock-hard knots loosen under her pressure-filled digits is as pleasurable as it is relieving. She also does immaculate manicures, pedicures, facials and waxing, and is constantly running specials – her $120 Zen Package (one-hour massage, mani and pedi) is a fave. G+S CONT. ON PAGE 150

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BEST TV ATTORNEY MAKEOVER: Piercy Stakelum The Trial Professionals

The Trial Pro’s mullet is no longer partying like it’s 1992. We’re glad the daytime TV barrister cut those locks to a more manageable length (for us, not him), and ditched the Varsity Blues frosted tips forever. Those baby blues really shine through now, and we can see the know-how beyond the distracting ’do.

BEST AUDIO DEEP SEA DIVING EXPEDITION: East West Music & More 4895 S. Orange Ave., 407-859-8991

When first entering East West, even the most seasoned record collector will experience a quick moment of panic, as a seeming tidal wave of all manner of audio media rushes forward. Best to just take a deep breath and swim right into it. The organization tends toward the anarchic and organic, with CDs, LPs, DVDs and collectibles stuffed into every available corner of the store. It’s an amazing thing to behold. Throw your want list out the window and give yourself over to happy accidents as you begin a methodical sweep through the hoard. Just leave a trail of breadcrumbs behind you.

BEST PLACE TO PROVE THAT YOU ARE A SUCCESSFUL ADULT BY PICKING UP THAT HE-MAN FIGURE YOUR PARENTS WOULDN’T BUY YOU WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE: Acme Superstore 905 E. State Road 434, Longwood, 407-331-0433, acme-superstore.com

What could be more satisfying, in terms of sticking it to your doubter parents and family, than showing that yeah, you’ve made it in this big crazy world on your own terms and screw everyone, you will buy whatever you want with your grown-up money, including, just maybe, this He-Man figure they wouldn’t buy you even after you made a big fucking scene in the store all those years ago. Acme Superstore is the land of pop culture second chances. A strip mall in and of itself that’s stuffed to the gills with childhood nostalgia and collectible ephemera from the ’60s to today, much of it arrayed in gigantic class cases almost artfully, in row after row. There’s really nothing else like it. G+S CONT. ON PAGE 155 150

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BEST INTERNET-BASED TIRE FIRE:

PHOTO BY HANNAH GLOGOWER

Propagation’s Yelp Page While Propagation’s midcentury modern decor and devotion to sourcing their coffee from top roasters like Lineage gave Mills 50 caffeine-hounds plenty of hope for the little shop, it was not to be. The storefront closed its doors at the end of May, reportedly so that the owners could focus on selling their restored furniture to clients with deeper pockets than those in service industry wage-plagued Central Florida. Unfortunately, this also sounded the death knell for new additions to their Yelp page, where the owners had no compunctions about responding to negative reviews with sarcasm, insults and over-the-top dickishness. Needless to say, it made for great reading. Just not at Propagation, where WiFi was verboten. So while we’ll miss being able to get a mazagran and being told not to touch the precious precious credenzas, we’re going to miss seeing Propagation’s inversion of the principle that “the customer is always right” even more. orlandoweekly.com

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WRITERS’ PICKS

READERS POLL BEST ADULT SPORTS LEAGUE 1. Orlando Psycho City Derby Girls 2. Orlando Sport and Social Club 3. XL Soccer

BEST BEACH 1. New Smyrna Beach 2. Clearwater Beach 3. Siesta Key

BEST BILLIARDS HALL 1. Sportstown Billiards, 2414 E. Robinson St., 407-894-6258, sportstownbilliards.com 2. Trick Shots, multiple locations, trickshotsbilliards.com 3. Clicks, 2524 S. Semoran Blvd., 407-275-6064, clicks.com

BEST BOWLING ALLEY 1. Colonial Lanes, 400 N. Primrose Drive, 407-894-0361, coloniallanes.net 2. Splitsville, 1494 E. Buena Vista Drive, 407-938-7467, splitsvillelanes.com 3. Boardwalk Bowl, 10749 E. Colonial Drive, 407-384-0003, alomabowlingcenters.com

BEST CANOEING/KAYAKING 1. Wekiwa Springs State Park, 1800 Wekiwa Circle, Apopka, 407-8842009, floridastateparks.org 2. Blue Springs State Park, 2100 W. French Ave., Orange City, 386-7753663, floridastateparks.org 3. Kelly Park/Rock Springs, 400 E. Kelly Park Road, Apopka, 407-2541902, ocfl.net/cultureparks

BEST BUGS IN THE TEETH:

The Mayor

The Iron Lilies Harley group

Loch Haven Park 900 E. Princeton St.

theironlilies.com

This 200-year-old live oak outside the Mennello Museum is the best tree on Orlando’s Significant Tree Tour. (Yes, that is a real thing; download the map at cityoforlando. net.) The Mayor is one of the oldest trees in the area and is a testament to its species. Live oak limbs grow upward and outward as they get older, touching down to the ground for added support and then curling back up into the air, creating a dome of resurrection-fernfilled goodness. This is one of the only trees on the map that has had enough uninterrupted space to extend its canopy outward naturally, and reach out to wiggle its branches freely. It’s had only two major breaks in its lifetime – one time in 1998 and another in 2008 – though recently two teens managed to break off a branch by jumping up and down on it. Not cool. 158

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Motorcycle clubs have come a long way from their scary stereotype of meth-dealing white supremacist biker gangs. These days you’ll find riding groups made up of every kind of people: accountants, AARP members, church pastors … all bound by the need for speed and the desire to feel the wind in their hair. The Iron Lilies are one such group: Eight women who ride HarleyDavidsons, inspired by three historic “Lilies” – Lillian LaFrance, who became a “wall of death” rider in 1924; Lillian Hauerwas, who logged more than 65,000 miles on her Harley by 1921; and Lillian Farrow, who became the first female motorcycle dealer in the world in 1927. Among the eight are a scientist, a psychologist, a journalist, a hairdresser, an MBA, a burlesque dancer and a few Harley techs – they may come from different walks of life, but they’re all badasses.

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BEST CITY PARK 1. Lake Eola Park 2. Lake Baldwin Park 3. Mead Botanical Garden, Winter Park

BEST DOG PARK 1. Lake Baldwin Park Dog Park (formerly Fleet Peeples), Winter Park 2. Paw Park, Sanford 3. Barber Park Dog Park

BEST ESCAPE ROOM 1. Escapology, 11951 International Drive, 407-278-1515, escapology.com/orlando 2. The Great Escape Room, 23 S. Magnolia Ave., 386-385-8860, thegreatescaperoom.com 3. It’s a Trap!, 6744 Aloma Ave., 407-960-3824, itsatrapgame.com S+R CONT. ON PAGE 161

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST TREE:

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

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SPORTS & REC

BEST GROUP FITNESS 1. YMCA of Central Florida, multiple locations, ymcacentralflorida.com 2. Orangetheory, multiple locations, orangetheoryfitness.com 3. Elevated Fitness, 448 S. Alafaya Trail, elevatedfitnessorlando.com

BEST GYM 1. YMCA of Central Florida, multiple locations, ymcacentralflorida.com 2. LA Fitness, multiple locations, lafitness.com 3. Planet Fitness, multiple locations, planetfitness.com

BEST LOCAL PRO ATHLETE 1. Kaká, Orlando City Soccer Club, orlandocitysc.com 2. Alex Morgan, Orlando Pride, orlandocitysc.com/pride 3. Brek Shea, Orlando City Soccer Club, orlandocitysc.com

BEST LOCAL SPORTS TEAM 1. Orlando City Soccer Club, orlandocitysc.com 2. Orlando Magic, nba.com/magic 3. Orlando Pride, orlandocitysc.com/pride

BEST MASSAGE THERAPY/ BODYWORK 1. Massage Envy, multiple locations, massageenvy.com 2. Hand and Stone, multiple locations, handandstone.com 3. Spa810, 115 N. Orlando Ave., Winter Park, 407-790-7876, spa810.com

PHOTO VIA WALT DISNEY WORLD

BEST MINI GOLF COURSE 1. Congo River Golf, multiple locations, congoriver.com 2. Pirate’s Cove Adventure Golf, multiple locations, piratescove.net 3. Hollywood Drive-In Golf, CityWalk Orlando, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-802-4848, hollywooddriveingolf.com

BEST NEW ADDITION TO THE I-DRIVE CORRIDOR 1. Orlando Eye, 8401 International Drive, 407-2708644, officialorlandoeye.com 2. Artegon Marketplace, 5250 International Drive, artegonmarketplace.com S+R CONT. ON PAGE 162

BEST THEME PARK RIDE THAT’S NOT EVEN A RIDE YET: Star Wars Launch Bay When Star Wars Land was announced for Disney’s Hollywood Studios last summer, even casual Star Wars fans got excited about it. The prospect of 14 acres devoted to rides and attractions from everyone’s favorite galaxy far, far away is something that plenty of people have been dreaming of for nearly 40 years. But Disney isn’t exactly known for completing attractions in record time. Remember when the still-unopened Avatar attraction was announced for Animal Kingdom, way back when people actually gave a shit about Avatar? Thankfully, the Star Wars Launch Bay attraction opened up back in December to let fans check out life-size sets and props from the franchise, as well as interact with the likes of Darth Vader, Kylo Ren and Chewbacca. It may not be quite as much fun as a ride in the Millennium Falcon, but it definitely whets the appetite for more sights in the future. Plus, you can trade junk with Jawas for special droid parts, and there’s nothing not fun about that. orlandoweekly.com

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BEST MEMORIAL AT A SPORTING EVENT: #CityUnited June 18, Orlando City Soccer Club at Camping World Stadium

On Monday, June 13, OCSC fan Jonathan Van Dyke’s Facebook group of just about 100 people came up with the idea of turning Camping World Stadium into the largest Unity rainbow of all time, a grass-roots idea that spread so fast it surprised even its organizer. Rainbow colors filled the bowl during June’s Orlando City vs. San Jose game, with more than 15,000 OCSC supporters shirking the signature purple in favor of designated section colors to create a moving tribute we can all be proud of.

BEST NEW TEAM TO CHEER FOR: Orlando Pride

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PHOTO BY JEREMY REPER

Two years after Orlando City Soccer Club took the city by storm, the allwomen team Orlando Pride has come to steal our hearts. Led by team captain and U.S. Women’s National Team striker Alex Morgan, this squad is poised to finally make Orlando the soccer capital of the South. Currently in seventh place in their inaugural National Women’s Soccer League season, they have some building to do, but they also have a lot of support behind them.

WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST SHADE: Dickson Azalea Park

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

100 Rosearden Drive

We’re not talking about the side-eye kind of shade here; we’re talking about the most amazing little pocket of serenity hidden in plain sight, right on busy Robinson Street. Long-leaf pines, palms, oaks and lush azaleas surround a trickling brook, crossed over by a charming timber bridge; picturesque (if sometimes slippery) steps lead down even further into the cool green tranquility. And when you’re done drinking deeply of the natural splendor, it’s walking distance from Whiskey Lou’s and Gringos Locos in the Milk District. S+R CONT. ON PAGE 165

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READERS POLL 3. Yard House Restaurant, 8367 International Drive, 407-351-8220, yardhouse.com

BEST PLACE TO BIKE 1. West Orange Trail 2. Cady Way Trail 3. Cross Seminole Trail

BEST PLACE TO TAKE VISITORS FROM OUT OF TOWN 1. Lake Eola Park 2. Disney Springs 3. Winter Park Boat Tour

PHOTO COURTESY UNIVERSAL STUDIOS

BEST PUBLIC GOLF COURSE 1. Dubsdread Golf Course, 549 W. Par St., 407-246-2551, historicaldubsdread.com 2. Grand Cypress Golf Club, 1 N. Jacaranda St., 407-239-1909, grandcypress.com 3. Winter Pines Golf Club, 950 S. Ranger Blvd., Winter Park, 407-671-3172, winterpinesgc.com

BEST SPRINGS 1. Wekiwa Springs 2. Blue Springs 3. Kelly Park/Rock Springs S+R CONT. ON PAGE 166

WRITERS’ PICKS

SPORTS & REC

BEST KING-SIZED COMEBACK: King Kong at Universal Orlando 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-363-8000, universalorlando.com

Theme park fans frequently pine for the return of childhood favorites like Mr. Toad and Horizons, but when Disney reboots an old ride (like Journey Into Imagination with Figment) it often goes awry. So it came as a relief when Islands of Adventure’s Reign of Kong proved a worthy resurrection for the resort’s original King-sized mascot. Some story issues aside, Skull Island’s amazing animatronics and 3-D effects restore Universal’s top banana to the apex of area attractions.

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WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST YOGA TREND: Classes in art galleries and museums

S+R CONT. ON PAGE 169

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PHOTO COURTESY OMA

As much as we count on yoga to unknot our minds and muscles, sometimes it’s so hard to just “focus on your breath.” So we really appreciate being able to focus on some great art instead while we padmasana and tadasana; anything that helps soothe our daily stress is a win, and being able to cross “visit new exhibit” off our list at the same time is a bonus.

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READERS POLL

SPORTS & REC

BEST THEME PARK 1. Islands of Adventure, 6000 Universal Blvd., 407-2244233, universalorlando.com 2. Epcot, 200 Epcot Center Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407824-4321, disneyworld.disney. go.com 3. Disney’s Magic Kingdom, 1180 Seven Seas Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-939-5277, disneyworld.disney.go.com

BEST THEME PARK RIDE 1. Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts, Universal Orlando Studios, universalorlando.com 2. The Incredible Hulk, Islands of Adventure, universalorlando.com 3. Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, Islands of Adventure, universalorlando.com

BEST TOURIST ATTRACTION THAT’S NOT A THEME PARK 1. Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex, State Road 405, Titusville, 866-7375235, kennedyspacecenter.com 2. Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St., 407-5142000, osc.org 3. Gatorland, 14501 S. Orange Blossom Trail, 407-855-5496, gatorland.com

BEST WATER PARK 1. Aquatica, SeaWorld’s Water Park, 5800 Water Play Way, 888-800-5447, aquaticabyseaworld.com 2. Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon Water Park, 1145 Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407560-4120, disneyworld.disney. go.com 3. Wet ’n Wild Orlando, 6200 International Drive, 407-3511800, wetnwildorlando.com

BEST YOGA STUDIO 1. Orlando Power Yoga, 2415 E. South St., 407-7190101; 6735 Conroy Road, orlandopoweryoga.com 2. College Park Yoga, 3029 Edgewater Drive, 407-9997871, collegeparkyoga.com 3. Elevated Fitness, 448 S. Alafaya Trail, 407-270-5942, elevatedfitnessorlando.com

BEST VOTE OF CONFIDENCE: The Magic sign Serge Ibaka Magic fans (both of ’em!) were up in arms over the decision to trade shooting guard Victor Oladipo, forward Ersan Ilyasova and the 11thround draft pick to the Oklahoma City Thunder for power forward Serge Ibaka. But general manager Rob Hennigan thinks that 27-year-old Ibaka is just what the team needs to provide a boost to defense. It definitely seems to be a big risk for the struggling team, especially since Ibaka could very well become a free agent after the next season. But after nearly half a decade of “rebuilding years,” what do the Magic really have to lose? S+R CONT. ON PAGE 170

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SPORTS & REC

WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST FAKE SPRING: Disney Springs

S+R CONT. ON PAGE 172

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PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

Ever since River Country, the first water park on Disney property, closed in 2001, there’s been a dearth of manmade water features that mimic nature down in Touristan. But with this year’s renovation of Downtown Disney into the all-new, all-different Disney Springs, the Imagineers reinvigorated a vision of fake nature by incorporating the titular “spring” into the lagoon buttressing the former Pleasure Island area. The expertly sculpted faux limestone under clear, blue water looks almost exactly like the real thing. Now tourists won’t have to leave Disney property to visit any of our old-school analog springs, and they can save that $6 per vehicle fee to help pay for a $115 steak at the Boathouse. What a time to be alive!

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WRITERS’ PICKS

BEST BABY: Red-ruffed lemur born at Central Florida Zoo 3755 NW Highway 17-92, Sanford, 407-323-4450, centralfloridazoo.org

Meet New People. Get In Shape. Have Fun! The Sport and Social Club Leagues start soon... 407-896-9510

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PHOTO COURTESY OF CENTRAL FLORIDA ZOO

The Central Florida Zoo and Botanical Gardens added another big win to its participation in the AZA Species Survival Plan with the April 30 birth of a red-ruffed lemur. The tiny prehensiletoed primate native to the northeastern forests of Madagascar is critically endangered, hence its inclusion in the Association of Zoos & Aquariums’ breeding program. The Zoo has helped add to the species’ numbers, preserving their totally adorable little furry faces – er, uh, preserving their unique place in a biodiverse ecosystem – and has also helped breed cotton-top tamarins, prehensile-tailed skinks, hyacinth macaws, one-horned rhinos and clouded leopards in past years. The unnamed baby lemur, with its tiny black face, big round eyes and ginger fur, is available for visits during regular zoo hours, but it seems they will not let you pet him. Boooo.

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OUR PICKS FOR THE BEST EVENTS THIS WEEK

Thursday-Sunday, 25-28

Wednesday, 24

Mutual UFO Network Symposium

Natasha Leggero and Nate Bargatze

EVENTS

UCF’s Pegasus Palooza Welcome Week kicks off with glamour gal Natasha Leggero, but you don’t have to be a student to attend. Leggero is a Comedy Central favorite whose popular historical satire show, Another Period, has been making funny waves – but we remember her best for her selfless acts of community service, like the time she brought our single friend onstage at a sold-out show in Chicago for an impromptu dating game and landed her a night out with a perfectly nice young man with a 401(k). Laughter and financial security? Yes, please! Opening act Nate Bargatze is no slouch either. Most chuckle fans know him for his multiple appearances on Conan and Fallon or his one-hour special, Full Time Magic, but we remember him from the time we tried to introduce ourselves at a comedy festival in Omaha and he maybe didn’t hear us because he walked away. It was pretty windy though – you know about Omaha’s famed conversationinterrupting winds! It’s not a big deal to us, we never remember it and cringe! Ha ha ha! Anyway, come make your own memories with two of the funniest stand-up acts around at the CFE Arena this Wednesday. – Abby Stassen

In 1950, famous smart guy Enrico Fermi was in the middle of a lunchtime discussion about the probability that advanced extraterrestrial life exists when he asked a simple, profound question: “Where is everybody?” The Fermi Paradox questions why, given the size of the universe and the estimated probability of other life-supporting planets, we have never been in contact with any alien civilizations. But haven’t we? The Mutual UFO Network (we heard you like acronyms, so we put an acronym in your acronym) is a volunteer organization of scientists, researchers, academics and laypeople who share information about UFO sightings across the globe. Their annual symposium is filled with panels about UFO encounters, government cover-ups, alien life living in the ocean and enough related topics to fill a weekend of History Channel programming. In fact, there’s a free film festival associated with the symposium that anyone can attend. But whether you’re a skeptic or a believer, one thing is certain: The truth is out there. – Thaddeus McCollum

7 p.m. | CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd. | 800-745-3000 | cfearena.com | $20

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7:15 a.m. Thursday, 7:30 a.m. Friday, 8 a.m. Saturday-Sunday | Hilton Orlando Lake Buena Vista, 1751 Hotel Plaza Blvd. | 949-476-8366 | mufonsymposium.com | free-$298

NATASHA LEGGERO PHOTO BY MANDEE JOHNSON UFO PHOTO BY GEORGE STOCK

COMEDY

Thursday, 25

Progeny: Artist Talk and Closing Reception ART

Artists and bees have plenty in common: buzzing from place to place, collecting the nectar of inspiration and sharing it with the next person they meet or place they alight, enriching the community as a whole. The UCF Art Gallery has been host for the past month to Progeny, a sculptural sound installation that plays directly on those ideas of community interaction as artistic practice. Modeled after the interior of a standard modern beehive – not the rounded dome you see in picture books, but a boxy structure stacked with frames that the bees fill with wax and honey – the installation consists of several 9-foot-tall acoustic partitions packed with hidden microphones and speakers, which pick up and reflect back audience and environmental sound, creating a “complex sonic landscape.” As viewers wander through the enormous structure, they signal and observe in equal measure. Local painter Bryce Hammond met composer Luke Aaron Clark at an Atlantic Center for the Arts residency, where they came up with the concept of a collaborative work based around the ways apiculture reflects human society. The result stands here for visitors to explore, and the artists will discuss the work at the closing reception tonight. Those so moved may return Friday for the very last day of the exhibition; at 7 p.m. UCF assistant professor of music Thad Anderson and a group of UCF percussionists perform John Cage’s Four4 “hive” in concert. – Jessica Bryce Young

Friday, 26

The Areolas MUSIC

Orlando sure loves its pop punk, and there are few bands that embody pure pop-punky spirit more than the Areolas. Utilizing the tried-and-true “three chords and the truth” approach to songwriting, their material is as honest as it is unpolished, comprising songs about getting fucked up and getting fucked over with catchy hooks and disaffected, bratty vocals. But the group is losing its bass player, Holly Herzog, to the mid-Atlantic climes of Richmond, Virginia, soon, so this is the last show for the band. Early plans are to reunite once or twice a year as schedules permit, but nothing is set in stone just yet. Get there early and, as the girls (and guy) urge on “The Areolas Theme Song” from their only fulllength, High Tops for Low Lives, go buy them a beer. – TM with Matt & Tim of Abandon the Midwest, Pseudo, Handy Andy & the Tug Jobs | 9 p.m. | Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland | 407-636-3171 | letsmakeitathing.com | $5 Saturday, 27

Dru Hill MUSIC

R&B quartet Dru Hill combined loverman crooning with hip-hop swagger in the late ’90s to dazzling effect, striking gold with singles like “Tell Me,” “In My Bed” and “We’re Not Making Love No More.” And yet, despite hit records, multiple songwriters in the band and an incredible look, Dru Hill were plagued by Behind the Music-worthy crises: infighting, record label problems, reality show appearances, and the Timberlake effect when frontman Sisqo struck out on his own for “Thong Song”-fuelled fame. There’s even a video of Dru Hill reforming and breaking up in mere minutes live on Baltimore radio. But though all of that is gold for rock mythmaking, don’t let it distract from the songs and the sonic interplay of those four voices. And now the foursome (Sisqo, Nokio, Tao, Jazz) is back – although founding member Woody Rock is still MIA – for another shot at the recognition rightfully due them. This is more than a nostalgia circuit thing, this is showing you how R&B and nu-soul is done in the flesh. – MM

artist talk, 4 p.m.; reception, 5-7 p.m. | UCF Art Gallery, Visual Arts Building, 12400 Aquarius Agora Drive | gallery.cah.ucf.edu | free

with Lyfe Jennings | 7 p.m. | House of Blues, 1490 E. Lake Buena Vista Drive | 407-934-2583 | hob.com/orlando | $35-$70

Thursday, 25

Tuesday, 30

MUSIC

CIVICS

A rare pairing from two new titans of experimental and improvised music, this double bill of guitarist Ava Mendoza and violist/violinist/bassist Jessica Pavone promises to be a mind expander. Whether in countless collaborative ventures or individual sonic excursions, each has carved out her own distinctive aesthetic. Brooklyn-based Mendoza has equal footing in the noise, punk and experimental scenes of her hometown, whether with her new trio Unnatural Ways or countless collaborations with everyone from Weasel Walter to Nels Cline. Expect solo avant-blues fireworks. Fellow New Yorker Pavone combines classical chops with free jazz sensibilities, carving out a unique sonic path. Her long list of collaborators includes Mary Halvorson and Elliott Sharp. Recent works have been stripped down to viola and voice, experimenting with tone and repetition. On this particular evening, you get two solo sets from improvisers at the top of their respective games, all for the price of one. And that price is free. – Matthew Moyer

It’s time to take your Facebook debates and meme battles off social media and into the nearest voting booth. In Florida’s primary, you’ll get to choose your favorite candidates to move on to the next stage of voting in November. Remember, this state has closed primaries, which means independents and voters without a party affiliation won’t be able to vote in partisan races, like the U.S. Senate race, but can vote for Orange County commissioners. No matter how much you beg a poll worker that you really need to be a Democrat or a Republican today, they can’t do much for you; registration for the primaries closed Aug. 1. A tip if you’ve got the rest of voting covered: Verify your voting location on the Orange County Supervisor of Elections website. These polling places can change, and you don’t want to be the person driving to three different spots because you didn’t check online. – Monivette Cordeiro

7 p.m. | The Gallery at Avalon Island, 39 S. Magnolia Ave. | 407-317-8367 | avalongallery.org | free

7 a.m.-7 p.m. | multiple locations | ocfelections.com | free

Ava Mendoza and Jessica Pavone

Florida Primary Election

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THEWEEK

submit your events to listings@orlandoweekly.com at least 12 days before print to have them included

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 24-TUESDAY, AUG. 30 COMPILED BY THADDEUS MCCOLLUM

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 24

CONCERTS/EVENTS The Australian Pink Floyd Show 8 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $29.50-$39.50; 407-351-5483. Brad Catron Organ Trio 8-10 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $10; 407-636-9951. Eugene Snowden’s Ten Pints of Truth 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free. The Imperial’s Acoustic Soundcheck With Lauren Lester 8 pm; The Imperial at Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-228-4992. Moon Jelly, Acoqui, Amigo the devil 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $5.

[MUSIC] Lil Yachty Thursday at the Social

39 S. Magnolia Ave.; donations encouraged.

Overdale, the Ludes, Copper Bad Case of Big Mouth Bones, Debt Neglector 7 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $10; 407-999-2570. St.; $5; 407-999-2570. Create: Justin Martin Timothy Eerie 10:30 pm; 10 pm; Venue 578, 578 Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange N. Orange Ave.; $10Ave.; free; 407-649-8540. $25; 407-872-0066. Torque: A-Sides, Jeffee, Molecule & Circle K, Collaborator, Illterror & Subcult, Bradleeray 9 pm; Native Social Bar, 27 W. Church St.; contact for price; 407-403-2938.

OPERA/CLASSICAL Bach at the Alfond: Josh Lee, Viola de Gamba 3 pm; Classical. The Alfond Inn, 300 E. New England Ave., Winter Park; $12.50; 407-998-8090.

Drew Yardis Thursday 9:30 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-739-6948. ESP Vinyl Listening Party 7 pm; Uncle Tony’s Donut Shoppe, 703 N. Orange Ave.; free.

CONCERTS/EVENTS

Hank & Cupcakes, SWIMM, Someday River 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10.

Ava Mendoza and Jessica Pavone 7 pm; The Gallery at Avalon Island,

Kaleigh Baker 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

THURSDAY, AUG. 25

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Deejay Young, Antquan Smith, Olivia Lynn Barton, Antonio Fernandez 7 pm; The Tin Roof, 8371 International Drive; free.

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La Secta AllStar, Sold de Menta 9 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $32$50; 407-648-8363. Leisure Chief 10 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540. Lil Yachty 7 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; SOLD OUT; 407-246-1419. The Mellow Relics 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540. Orlando in the Groove: Durosai, Celiak, M7 10:30 pm; Sandwich Bar, 2432 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-421-1670. Radio Birds, Georgia Flood 8 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; $5. Shak Nasti, Brown Note, Leisure Chief, Con Leche 9 pm; Red Lion Pub, 3784 Howell Branch Road, Winter Park; $10; 407-677-9669.

Talk Sick Brats, Tight Genes, Manic & the Depressives 10 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; $5; 407-270-9104. Vomit Stain, Regurgitated Pus, Unsung Destroyer 7 pm; West End Trading Company, 202 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; free; 407-322-7475. FRIDAY, AUG. 26

CONCERTS/EVENTS The Areolas, Matt & Tim of Abandon the Midwest, Pseudo, Handy Andy & the Tug Jobs 9 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-636-3171. BCUCF2: Sneakin N Greekin 10 pm; Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $10-$40; 407-872-0066.

The Dolan Twins 5 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $30-$35; 407-648-8363. Holy White Hounds, the Knick Knacks, Audiotourism 8 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-246-1419. Justin and the Out 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540. A Lil Michael Jackson Jam 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free. Lost in Trancelation: Neptune Project, Suzy Solar, Robb Blak 9 pm; Bikkuri Lounge, 1919 E. Colonial Drive; $25; 407-970-1777. Oak Hill Drifters, Prison Wine 9:30 pm-1:30 am; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-645-0069.

Classic Albums Live: Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA 8 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $14-$24; 407-351-5483. CONTINUED ON PAGE 179

BART Fourth Anniversary

La Empanada Anniversary Party The La Empanada food truck and its friendly staff have been providing hungry patrons with warm pockets of delicious, chewy goodness for five years now. Tonight, they celebrate at their drinkiest stop: outside the patio of Will’s Pub. Moon Jelly, Amigo the Devil and Acoqui play inside the pub, while Eugene Snowden cuts a rug in Lil Indies, so you can choose whether or not you want to pay a cover. All proceeds from the door at Will’s and sales from La Empanada go to the Zebra Coalition, so definitely spring for that three-empanada special. 9 p.m. Wednesday; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; free-$5; willspub.org

The Good Life

Grilled Cheese and Wine Night The Swirlery partners with Uncommon Catering for a unique wine tasting and pairing event. Sample four different varieties of grilled cheese sandwiches, and pair them with four different wine selections to see which pair best with each other. Space is limited. 6:30 p.m. Thursday; The Swirlery, 1508 E. Michigan St.; 407-270-6300; $25; swirlery.com

The Copper Rocket’s 21st Birthday The new Copper Rocket combines its longevity with the Copper Rocket of yore and celebrates its entry into fully legal adulthood. A slew of acts are scheduled to play around the clock, including the Dealers, Gary Lazer Eyes and Oak Hill Drifters. Drink specials are promised, along with giveaways and prizes. Don’t cheat yourself out of this one. Noon Saturday; The Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; 407-636-3171; $5-$10; letsmakeitathing.com

DRINK PHOTO BY FLORENCE IVY

BART Fourth Anniversary The Mills 50 barcade throws a birthday bash benefitting Fern Creek Elementary, because they’re a class act. Donate some school supplies and get happy hour pricing all day. Local artists auction off pieces to raise money for the school as well. And next door at the Orange Venue, a pop-up classic pinball arcade set up by Free Play Florida and the Pinball Lounge is set up for you to throw your quarters away. 3 p.m. Saturday; BART, 1205 N. Mills Ave.; 407-796-2522; free; bartcade.com

Nov. 22 at the Social Broods, Sept. 1 at the Beacham

The Amity Affliction, Sept. 22 at the Beacham

Peelander-Z, Sept. 2 at Will’s Pub

Keb’ Mo’, Sept. 23 at the Plaza Live

John Moreland, Sept. 2 at the Social Baroness, Sept. 6 at the Beacham Flume, Sept. 8 at House of Blues Anthony Green, Sept. 8 at the Social Maroon 5, Sept. 9 at Amway Center The Queers, Sept. 11 at Will’s Pub Bebel Gilberto, Sept. 14 at the Dr. Phillips Center Gary Gulman, Sept. 16 at the Dr. Phillips Center Meghan Trainor, Sept. 18 at CFE Arena Cirque du Soleil, Sept. 21-25 at Amway Center Cymbals Eat Guitars, Sept. 21 at Will’s Pub

Slayer, Sept. 27 at Hard Rock Live The Toasters, Sept. 30 at Will’s Pub Clutch, Oct. 4 at House of Blues Chrome Sparks, Oct. 5 at the Social Junior Boys, Oct. 7 at the Social Taking Back Sunday, Oct. 8 at the Social Garth Brooks, Oct. 8 at Amway Center Astronautalis, Oct. 10 at Will’s Pub Against Me!, Oct. 11 at House of Blues

Eden, Oct. 20 at the Social

Tegan and Sara, Nov. 14 at the Beacham

Trivium, Oct. 21 at House of Blues

Neil deGrasse Tyson, Nov. 15 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Trailer Park Boys, Oct. 28 at the Plaza Live

The Doobie Brothers, Nov. 16 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Lindsey Stirling, Oct. 29 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Peter Hook & the Light, Nov. 17 at the Plaza Live

Sia, Oct. 30 at Amway Center

Bob Dylan, Nov. 22 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Puscifer, Nov. 1 at the Dr. Phillips Center Ghost, Nov. 2 at Hard Rock Live Fitz & the Tantrums, Nov. 5 at the Social Elle King, Nov. 10 at House of Blues

The Good Life, Nov. 22 at the Social Kenny G, Nov. 30 at the Plaza Live Jello Biafra, Rev. Horton Heat, Dec. 31 at Will’s Pub Sage Francis, Dec. 2 at the Social

Animal Collective, Nov. 11 at the Beacham

Lily Tomlin, Feb. 4, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center

The Dear Hunter, Oct. 12 at the Social

Blackberry Smoke, Nov. 11 at House of Blues

Celtic Thunder, Oct. 14 at Hard Rock Live

Mayday Parade, Nov. 11 at the Social

MC Chris, Oct. 14 at the Social

Tracy Morgan, Nov. 13 at Hard Rock Live

The Piano Guys, Feb. 16, 2017, at the Dr. Phillips Center Colin Hay, Feb. 20, 2017, at the Plaza Live

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FRIDAY-SATURDAY, 26-27

Midnight Movies: Multiple Maniacs FILM

First off, let’s do the standard warning that just because you liked the Hairspray remake (and/or musical), it doesn’t mean that every John Waters film is going to be up your alley. Particularly his earlier films: reels of punk cinema that still pack a visceral punch to this day. Multiple Maniacs, John Waters’ second feature film from 1970, finds him a fully developed filmmaker early on; all of his obsessions, themes, and indeed even repertory cast present and gloriously accounted for. Starring the inimitable Divine, Maniacs, even more than Pink Flamingos, is a gigantic “fuck you” aimed at suburban, straight, white America. Reveling in all things transgressive – murder, blasphemy, sex, drugs, cults – Multiple Maniacs is still a spectacle more than four decades on. But here’s the thing that most people miss about Waters’ early works: Hidden deep under the filth was a heart of gold. These are DIY primers, testaments to the fun and magic of creativity on the fly and on the run. Divine and the “Dreamland” actors may have looked like a bunch of freaks and weirdos to the world at large, but Waters saw their beauty, and he made them stars. – Matthew Moyer 11:59 p.m. Friday-Saturday | Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland | 407-629-1088 | enzian.org | $11

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 176

Pandora’s Box: The Ultimate Aerosmith Tribute 8 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $8.75; 407-934-2583. Pusho 10 pm; Gilt Nightclub, 740 Bennett Road; $10$20; 407-504-7699. Rockit Fly 8 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; free; 407-704-6261. Sianvar, My Iron Lung, Save Us From the Archos 6:30 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $12; 407-999-2570. Tiger Fawn, tedd.gif, Alex Clements 9:30 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; $3; 407-228-0804. Unknown Hinson, Moonmen From Mars, the Woolly Bushmen, DJ White Lightnin’

8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $20-$22. SATURDAY, AUG. 27

CONCERTS/EVENTS 4MySoul: Renzo Ruiz, Dayz Without, DJ Alpha, Diana Montoya 10 pm; Sandwich Bar, 2432 E. Robinson St.; $5; 407-421-1670. Bro Safari 10 pm; Gilt Nightclub, 740 Bennett Road; $20-$40; 407-504-7699. The Copper Rocket’s 21st Birthday: The Dealers, Blonk, Circa & the Boys, Tears of a Tyrant and more noon; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5-$10; 407-636-3171. Dan Heitz and Company 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Dru Hill, Lyfe Jennings 7 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $30.25$67.75; 407-934-2583. East End Sessions: UkeA-Ladies 4 pm; East End Market, 3201 Corrine Drive; free; 321-236-3316. Fictional Friends, Evil Virgins, Death Tremors, Steven Marshek Group 9 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; $5; 407-228-0804. Gargamel! 8 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-739-6948. George Acosta 9 pm; Vinyl Arts Bar, 75 E. Colonial Drive; $15. Julian Bond Music, Magic and Comedy 8 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $15; 407-636-9951. CONTINUED ON PAGE 180

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[FILM] Peanut Butter Matinee: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Sunday at Enzian Theater

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Kirov, As Echoes Divide, Polar Summer, Under the Alliance, Frequencies, In the After 7 pm; West End Trading Company, 202 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; $7-$10; 407-322-7475. Red Not Chili Peppers, Apache Resistance 8 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-246-1419. Rocket 88 9 pm; The Hourglass Brewery, 255 S. Ronald Reagan Blvd., Longwood; free; 407-719-9874. Seven Years Past, Half Ton Hammer, Archangel, Key, the Offering, Broken Silence 7 pm; The Haven, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $10; 407-673-2712. Starling, Kaleigh Baker 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free. Tech Me Out of Space: Che Rizik and Friends 10 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-408-3018. Walter Etc., the Dunies, David Yanik 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $8-$10. Yung Simmie 7:30 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $15; 407-999-2570. SUNDAY, AUG. 28

CONCERTS/EVENTS Ancient Sun 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540. 180

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Eighth Note 8 pm; Timucua White House, 2000 S. Summerlin Ave.; free; 407-595-2713. Larry Coryell Benefit Show 8-11 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $25; 407-636-9951. The Orchestra Starring Former Members of E.L.O., Rick Monaco’s Classic Rockers 6 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $39.50-$125; 407-228-1220. RushmoreFL, the Handsome Scoundrels, Vicious Dreams, R-Dent, Dougie Flesh 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $6. Sustain Sundays: Desert Dwellers 8 pm; Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-872-0066. Wifisfuneral, Xxxtentacion, Ski Mask the Slump God, Pollari, Danny Towers 6 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $15; 407-999-2570.

OPERA/CLASSICAL Jose Navarro Presents: The Introduction 7 pm; Electric violin and cello. The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive; $12; 407-4126895; thevenueorlando.com. TUESDAY, AUG. 30

CONCERTS/EVENTS Con Leche 10 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; free. Goo Goo Dolls, Collective Soul, Tribe Society 7:30 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $46.50-$80.50; 407-351-5483. The Groove Orient 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540. Karaoke Radio 8 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-246-1419. Lakeside Chamber Players Woodwind Trio 8 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $10; 407-636-9951.

MONDAY, AUG. 29

CONCERTS/EVENTS Absinthe Jazz Trio 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free. Eugene Snowden, Circa 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $5. Whiskey Sharts, Schitt, Tears of a Tyrant 8 pm; 64 North, 64 N. Orange Ave.; free; 321-245-7730.

Straightjacket 6 pm; Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-872-0066. Twisted Tuesday: Timothy Eerie 9 pm; Red Lion Pub, 3784 Howell Branch Road, Winter Park; $3 suggested donation; 407-677-9669.

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FILM Cult Classics: Monkey Business A chemist finds his personal and professional life turned upside down when one of his chimpanzees finds the fountain of youth. Tuesday, 9:30 pm; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org. Love Your Shorts Summer Rewind A look back at the fan favorites from the 2016 Love Your Shorts Film Festival, followed by an after party. Friday, 8 pm; Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center, 201 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; $5-$15; 407-3218111; loveyourshorts.com.

Peanut Butter Matinee Family Film: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Sunday, noon; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $9; 407-629-0054; enzian.org. Rodgers & Hammerstein’s The King and I Sunday, 2 & 7 pm; multiple locations; $13.31; 855473-4612; fathomevents.com. Thelma & Louise Wednesday, 2 & 7 pm; multiple locations; $13.38; fathomevents.com. Wiener-Dog Todd Solondz’ misleadingly titled film follows a single dog who touches many human lives in her short lifetime. Ongoing; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

THEATER The Big Meal ThursdaySaturday, 8 pm, Sunday, 3 & 7 pm; Mad Cow Theatre, 54 W.

Church St.; $25-$38; 407-2978788; madcowtheatre.com. Chris McCabe: Acoustic Broadway Tuesday, 7 pm; The Persian Room, 1155 W. State Road 434, Longwood; $10. Godspell Mondays, Fridays, Saturdays, 8 pm, Sundays, 3 pm; Breakthrough Theatre of Winter Park, 419A W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; $12-$20; 407-920-4034; breakthroughtheatre.com. Man of La Mancha ThursdaySaturday, 7:30 pm, Sunday, 3 pm; Central Christian Church, 250 W. Ivanhoe Blvd.; $15-$25; 407-937-1800; cfcarts.com. Proof A troubled young woman copes with the death of her brilliant mathematician father. Friday-Saturday, 8:30 pm; Art’s Sake Studio, 680 Clay St., Winter Park; $15; 407629-4800; art-sake.com. Sondheim, Gershwin & Porter: Oh My! Musical revue of works CONTINUED ON PAGE 184

PHOTO BY KEARNEY PHOTOGRAPHY

[MUSIC] Unknown Hinson Friday at Will’s Pub

Midnight Movies: Multiple Maniacs John Waters’ second feature-length film, replete with all manner of depravity. Friday-Saturday, 11:59 pm; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Movieola: Minions Movie will begin at 8:15 pm. Friday, 6 pm; Lake Eola Park, 195 N. Rosalind Ave.; free; 407-2464484; cityoforlando.net.

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[MUSIC] Hank & Cupcakes Thursday at Will’s Pub

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by some of America’s greatest composers. Friday-Saturday, 7:30 pm; Central Christian Church, 250 W. Ivanhoe Blvd.; $10; cfcarts.com. Sordid Lives Fridays, Saturdays, 7 pm, Sunday, 2 pm, Monday, 7 pm; Footlight Theatre, The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; $25; 407-425-7571; parliamenthouse.com. When Shadows Fall ThursdaysFridays, 7 pm, Saturdays, 3 & 8 pm, Sundays, 3 pm; Penumbra, address given at time of purchase; $39-$159; 407-9655616; whenshadowsfall.com. The Wiz Saturday, 7 pm; Orange County Convention Center, 9800 International Drive; $25-$45; 407-685-9800; lavariousslaughter.com.

COMEDY Comedy at the Caboose Open Mic. Hosted by Kimberly Burke. Thursdays, 8 pm; The Caboose, 1827 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-898-7733. Copper Rocket Comedy Jam Sundays, 8:30 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-636-3171; letsmakeitathing.com. Dick Gregory Wednesday, 7 pm; Orlando Improv, 9101 International Drive; $20; 407-480-5233; theimprovorlando.com. 184

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High Tide A monthly indie comedy variety show made up of sketch, improvisational comedy and digital shorts. Wednesday, 9 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; $3; 407-228-0804; facebook. com/hightidespacebar. John Morgan Thursday, 7 pm, Friday, 6:30 & 9:45 pm, Saturday, 6 & 9:45 pm, Sunday, 6 pm; Orlando Improv, 9101 International Drive; $15-$17; 407-480-5233; theimprovorlando.com. Ken Miller, Justin Lawson Friday-Saturday, 7 pm; Bonkerz - Otters on the River, 4380 Carraway Place, Sanford; $10; bonkerzcomedyproductions. com. Leslie Jordan WednesdayThursday, 7:30 pm; Footlight Theatre, The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; $45; 407-425-7571; parliamenthouse.com. Natasha Leggero, Nate Bargatze Wednesday 8 pm; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; $20; 407-823-6006. Sam Morril Wednesday, 8 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; $5; 407-228-0804. The Shady Brunch Comedy Show Sunday, 2 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $5; willspub.org. Sloan, Shannon Hall Standup comedy. Friday-Saturday, 7:30 pm; Bonkerz - Boardwalk Bowl,

10749 E. Colonial Drive; $10; 407-629-2665; eastorlando. bonkerzcomedy.com.

DANCE Blacklist Babes Cabaret: Hall Pass Burlesque cabaret show with live music and a back-to-school theme. Friday, 8 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; $5.

ART OPENINGS/EVENTS AEC Art Gala Art show and auction benefitting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Saturday, 5:30 pm; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $95; 407-4871158; smpscentralflorida.org. Art After Dark Semi-formal soirée featuring emerging artists, music, silent auction, complimentary craft cocktails and light refreshments. Friday, 7-10 pm; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $45; 407-648-7060. Art Night Out: Drawing the Urban Landscape A discussion of gestural sketching activities for capturing the energy of an urban landscape, then into Loch Haven Park to spend the evening drawing. Wednesday, 6 pm; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $30; 407-896-4231; omart.org.

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[MUSIC] Radio Birds Thursday at St. Matthew’s Tavern

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Artist Talk: Bryce Hammond and Luke Aaron Clark The artists discuss their work on their sound installation. Thursday, 4 pm; UCF Art Gallery, 12400 Aquarius Agora Drive; free; 407-823-3161. Gamerz Only Group show of art with a gaming theme. Opens Sunday. 4-7 pm, through Nov. 12; Thai Purple Orchid Café and Grocery, 9318 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-203-3891; thaipurpleorchidcafe.com. Halloween Coloring Book Launch Launch of Jasmine Beckett-Griffith’s new Halloween-themed coloring book. Saturday, 6-9 pm; Pop Gallery, Disney Springs, 1780 Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista; free; 407-827-8200. The Slip of the Tongue Unveils the Cuts From Your Teeth Exhibition of video, performance, installation and sculpture art revolving around the idea of insignificant instances having meaningful impact. Thursday, 8 pm; A Place Gallery, 649 N. Mills Ave.; free; timewastemanagement.org. Vaselina Springs and the Arkie DeLeons: A Work in Progress A DIY work of art built from different components. Opens Friday, 6-8 pm, through Oct. 22; Homer and Dolly Hand Art Center, Stetson University, 139 E. Michigan Ave., DeLand; free; 386-822-7270.

CONTINUING THIS WEEK America the Beautiful Through Sept. 10; Florida Hospital - Altamonte, 601 E. Altamonte Drive, Altamonte Springs; free; 407-303-2200; seminoleculturalarts.org. Annual Local Artists Exhibit Tuesdays, Saturdays, 10 am-3 pm and Wednesdays, Thursdays, 11 am-7 pm; The Lake Mary Historical Museum, 158 N. Country Club Road, Lake Mary; free; 407-5851481; lakemaryhistory.org.

Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407646-2526; cfam.rollins.edu. Endless Summer Through Saturday; Arts on Douglas, 123 Douglas St., New Smyrna Beach; free; 386-428-1133. Esherick to Nakashima Tuesdays-Sundays, 10 am-5 pm; Modernism Museum Mount Dora, 145 E. Fourth Ave., Mount Dora; $8; 352-385-0034; modernismmuseum.org.

Art Talk Saturday, 2-8 pm; Three Masks, 1023 W. Colonial Drive; free; 407-426-7355.

Extreme Perspective Through Sept. 4; Dandelion Communitea Cafe, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-362-1864; dandelioncommunitea.com.

Boarded Up 5: The Art of Skateboarding Through Sept. 9; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060.

Faculty Focus 2016 Through Sept. 24; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

Brett J. Barr: Sketch a Day 2 Through Sept. 18; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; willspub.org.

Florida Prize in Contemporary Art 2016 Through Sunday; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $15; 407-896-4231.

Corpus Through Sept. 24; Snap Space, 1013 E. Colonial Drive; free; snaporlando.com.

Forest Fire Through Sept. 10; Redefine Gallery, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060.

Digital Showcase Ongoing; BART, 1205 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-796-2522.

Form in Light Ongoing; Snap Downtown, 420 E. Church St.; free; snaporlando.com.

Disarm Hate Through Sept. 3; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060.

Hello Basquiat Through Oct. 8; Defined Enterprises, 279 Douglas Ave., Altamonte Springs; free.

Displacement: Symbols and Journeys Through Sept. 4;

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The Heritage Collection Phase VIII: The Collins Family Through Sept. 3; Hannibal Square Heritage Center, 642 W. New England Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-539-2680; hannibalsquareheritagecenter.org. Intimacy With the Subject Through Sept. 23; Mount Dora Center for the Arts, 138 E. Fifth Ave., Mount Dora; free; 352-383-0880. Miles G. Batt: Retrospective Through Oct. 2; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org. My Friend: Eric Rohmann Through Oct. 30; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $15; 407-896-4231. Philip Smallwood: Personages Through Oct. 2; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org. Pop Art Prints Through Sept. 11; Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.; $5; 407-246-4278; mennellomuseum.com. Progeny Through Thursday; UCF Art Gallery, 12400 Aquarius Agora Drive; free; 407-823-3161. Sculptures by David Hayes Through Oct. 30; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org.

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Theresa Bernstein: An Early Modernist Through Oct. 9; Museum of Art DeLand – Downtown, 100 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org. Untold Stories Through Sept. 4; Art & History Museums - Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland; $3; 407-539-2181; artandhistory.org. Walter Meigs: Transformations Through Oct. 2; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org.

EVENTS BART Fourth Anniversary Anniversary party with an art auction, special pricing on beer and classic pinball arcade set up in the Orange Venue. Saturday, 3 pm; BART, 1205 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-796-2522. Best of Orlando Party Orlando’s biggest annual invite-only party returns to the Beacham, the Social, Aero, 64 North and the Patio for a night to showcase the best that Orlando has to offer. Wednesday, 7 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; invite only; 407-648-8363; orlandoweekly.com. Big Bang Bazaar A curated selection of over 200 local Indie artists and crafters, along with a free photobooth, Orlando Psycho City Derby Girls, Orlando Facial Hair Club and movies playing all day. Saturday, 11 am-6 pm; Central

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Florida Fairgrounds, 4603 W. Colonial Drive; free; 407-295-3247; bigbangbazaar.net. Bizarre Bazaar: The 27 Club Art market and bazaar with live performances, henna art, tarot card reading, fire spinning and more. Saturday, 8 pm; Belle Isle Yacht Pub, 7521 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-850-3491. The Catalina Wine Mixer A networking mixer featuring wine, music, and live art and poetry. Saturday, 6-9 pm; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $20; 407-648-7060. Downtown Orlando Scavenger Hunt Form a team and explore downtown, looking to complete more than 25 missions and enjoying drink specials. Saturday, 5 pm; Ferg’s Depot, 78 W. Church St.; $15; 407-367-2952; zuppapp.com. A Gift For Teaching Show & Tell Information session about the non-profit organization A Gift For Teaching. Free lunch provided by the Olive Garden. Wednesday, noon; A Gift For Teaching, 6501 Magic Way; free; 407-318-3123; agiftforteaching.org. Grilled Cheese and Wine Night Uncommon Catering presents four different varieties of grilled cheese paired with four different wines. Thursday, 6:30 pm; The Swirlery, 1508 E. Michigan St.; $25; 407-270-6300; swirlery.com.

Kiwi Camera Swap Meet Buy, sell and trade cameras and photographic equipment. Sunday, 9 am; Kiwi Camera Service, 1880B Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; free; 407539-2731; kiwicameraservice.com. La Empanada Food Truck Anniversary Party La Empanada celebrates five years in business with shows at Will’s and Lil Indies. All profits donated to the Zebra Coalition. Wednesday, 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; free-$5; willspub.org. Ladies Night Off: Beer School Special ladies night with a guided brewery tour, beer tasting and light bites. Wednesday, 6-9 pm; Orlando Brewing, 1301 Atlanta Ave.; $25; 407-872-1117; orlandobrewing.com. MargaritaFest Try more than 20 different tequilas and margaritas while enjoying live entertainment. Saturday, 5-9 pm; Wall Street Plaza, Wall and Court streets; $20; 407-849-0471; wallstplaza.net. Mount Dora Seafood Festival Two-day festival featuring live bands, including the Original Wailers, drinks, kids activities, vendors and tons of delicious seafood dishes. Saturday, 11 am-9 pm and Sunday 11 am-5 pm; Elizabeth Evans Park, 510 N Baker St, Mt. Dora; free; visitmountdora.com.

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[COMEDY] Leslie Jordan Thursday-Friday at the Footlight Theatre, Parliament House

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Orlando Signature Barrel Night Benefit gala with food, live entertainment, a silent auction and tastings from several premier distilleries. Saturday, 6-9 pm; Grand Bohemian Hotel, 325 S. Orange Ave.; $90-$180; 407-313-9000; orlandosignature.com. Philips Phile Poker Tournament Join Jim Philips and the Real Radio 104.1 crew in a poker tournament. First place winner receives a round trip flight for two and hotel accommodations in Las Vegas. Saturday, 7-11 pm; Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St.; $100; 407-8752040; realradio.iheart.com. Pokémon Party Drag show with performers dressed as Pokémon. Thursday, 9 pm; Southern Nights, 375 S. Bumby Ave.; contact for price; 407-4125039; southernnightsorl.com. Sake Dinner A six-course dinner from Seito with sake pairings for each course. Sunday, 6 pm; The Osprey Tavern, 4899 New Broad St.; $100; 407-898-8801; ospreytavern.com. Tropical Session Summer Pool Party A pool party with a popup shop, free popsicles and food trucks. Sunday, 1-7 pm; Aloft Hotel Orlando Downtown, 500 S. Orange Ave.; $10-$15; sugarfreemediagroup.com. A Truly Gay Affair LGBT Wedding Expo Food tastings,

complimentary champagne, a live DJ and wedding talks to help plan that special day. All are welcome. Saturday, 11 am-4 pm; B Resort and Spa, 1905 Hotel Plaza Blvd., Lake Buena Vista; $7-$10; 407-7906902; prideandgroom.co.

LEARNING Cuisine Corner: Fruits and Vegetables – Half Your Plate Learn the importance of eating a variety fruits and vegetables and the benefits of including a variety in your diet. Space is limited. Registration required. Tuesday, 3:304:30 pm; Washington Park Library, 5151 Raleigh St.; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

LITERARY Book Launch: Keeping Her Secret A reading from the author, Sarah Nicolas, a Q&A, and a book sale and signing. Thursday, 6:30 pm; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

FAMILY Florida Kids and Family Expo Saturday, 10 am-5 pm and Sunday, 11 am-5 pm; Orange County Convention Center, 9800 International Drive; $7-$10; 407-685-9800; mycentralfloridafamily.com. Orlando Baby Expo Discover products and services from top brands like Graco, Huggies, Winnie Palmer Hospital and

more. Sunday, 11 am; Orange County Convention Center, 9800 International Drive; $15-$145; 407-685-9800.

SPORTS Miami Dolphins vs. Atlanta Falcons NFL preseason game. Thursday, 8 pm; Camping World Stadium, 1 Citrus Bowl Place; $20-$115; 407-423-2476; campingworldstadium.com. Orlando City vs. New York City FC Major League Soccer. Sunday, 7 pm; Camping World Stadium, 1 Citrus Bowl Place; $19.17-$161.88; 1-855-675-2489; campingworldstadium.com. Orlando City vs. Toronto FC Major League Soccer. Wednesday, 7:30 pm; Camping World Stadium, 1 Citrus Bowl Place; $19.17$161.88; 855-675-2489; orlandocitysc.com. Orlando Pride vs. Washington Spirit Women’s soccer. Friday, 7:30 pm; Camping World Stadium, 1 Citrus Bowl Place; $19-$85; 855-675-2489; orlandocitysc.com/pride. Yoga in Lake Eola Park This weekly yoga group, which is taught by a rotating band of yogis, meets either at the northeast corner of the park near Panera Bread, or at the northwest corner by the amphitheater. Everyone is welcome. Sundays, 11 am; Lake Eola Park, 195 N. Rosalind Ave.; $5 suggested donation. ■

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B Y D A N S AVA G E

DEAR READERS: This is the final week of my summer vacation – but you’ve been getting a new column every week I’ve been gone, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me. Our final guest Dan Savage is an independent designer, illustrator and animation director based in Brooklyn, New York. He created Yule Log 2.0 (watchyulelog. com), a collaborative art project where animators around the world reimagine the famous Yule log fireplace. He has worked with the New York Times, Herman Miller and Google; he’s taught design and animation at NYU and SVA; and he’s won a bunch of design industry awards you probably haven’t heard of. “I was excited to do this, even though I have no authority on the topic,” said Daniel Savage, award-winning independent designer. “But I surprisingly felt pretty confident in my answers, as ridiculous as they may be.” I’m a 41-year-old straight woman who stayed a virgin way longer than I should have (thank you, church and cultural slutshaming). I wasn’t 100 percent “good,” i.e., I was one of those “not PIV = not really sex” girls, so I indulged in outercourse and other “cheats.” When I finally realized that “not until marriage” wasn’t working for me and did the real thing, I discovered I loved it. Go me, right? Unfortunately, I’m not good at dating, so I usually go a long time between relationships. The relationship I’m in now is the first one I’ve had in two years. “Guy” is nice to me – calls me beautiful, sticks up for me, comes to watch me play with a community orchestra (my own family and friends don’t even come to my shows). But we don’t have much in common (hobbies, political outlook, religious beliefs) and sometimes our conversations feel labored. But that’s OK, right? At least I’m getting my sexual needs met, right? Well, no. Every single time we’ve tried to have sex, Guy either can’t get hard or stays hard for only a few minutes. I’ve tried going down on him, using my hands, different positions – nothing works. He’s never had an orgasm with me. We don’t even kiss that much. I don’t say anything because I don’t want to hurt his feelings and because I’m really grateful to him for wanting to be with me and being nice to me. He says sorry and that he’s asked the doctor about it, but we don’t get anywhere. It feels lonelier than when I was single. To be blunt, I don’t want to date him anymore. But I feel too guilty to break up with him. He really cares about me, and he didn’t do anything wrong. We’ve dated for four months, and I don’t know if I’m giving up too soon. Where would I be if previous boyfriends had ditched me for

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being inexperienced instead of showing me the ropes? Don’t I owe Guy the same thing? Too Down To Be Witty First off, I think a long time between relationships is good. I also think not having things in common can be OK if you create new hobbies and experiences you can share. Having said that, TDTBW, four months is plenty of time to know if it’s working. He sounds super-boring. The sooner you break it off with him the better. You don’t want to hurt him any more than you have to, especially if he’s really into you, and the longer you draw it out, the more it’s going to hurt. No amount of “training” is going to get this dude hard. The only rope being shown here is his flaccid ding-dong. It doesn’t seem like you even want to be his friend if you broke up. I wouldn’t feel guilty at all about dumping him. Sometimes you gotta think about No. 1. My girl and I are both 26, and we opened up our marriage. Now I’ve got a girlfriend with whom I am getting to have some of the kinky fun that was lacking at home. Here is my question: Things are really casual between me and this new girl. I want to do some pegging, but I don’t know who should buy the strap-on? Me, because it’s my ass and my idea? Or her, because she would wear it and would also think it was superhot? Should I buy the dildo and she buys the harness? Going halfsies on the whole rig? What is the equitable way of doing this? Purchasing Erotic Gear Good Etiquette, Dan? You’re 26 years old, PEGGED, buy the damn thing. How much could it possibly cost? I know if I were in your situation, I would want full control over what goes up my ass. If she owns it, would she use it while you weren’t around? With strangers? No thanks. Plus if you split the cost, who gets to keep it when you break up? Just buy it and enjoy. If you struggle with picking one out, might I suggest starting small? I’ve always enjoyed reading your column – maybe I just get turned on by other people’s sexual endeavors or maybe reading about other people’s sexual frustrations makes my situation seem better in comparison. So what am I writing about? Well, I suppose the question is this: When does one just become blatantly ungrateful? I’ve been in a two-year mixed relationship (she’s Native and 24, I’m white and 29), and we fight a lot. She cheated on me a couple of times early in the relationship. She says I pressured her into getting into a relationship when she wasn’t ready to “settle down,” which I suppose I

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could see. My problem is I have a handjob fetish and my girlfriend has a disinterest in it, to the point where she just won’t do it. But why am I bitching? I get laid every day for the most part, surprise blowjobs, 69ing, you name it. Should I accept this as fate? But just this morning, we went for round two, and I was having a hard time coming, and out of nowhere she pops up and jerks me off till climax. It really took me aback. Would it be bad to fake having coming issues in hopes she does it again? Is that unfair? Tugboat Captain It’s interesting that your problem isn’t the fact that she cheated on you, TC, or the relationship problems, or the constant fighting. No, it’s the lack of handjob enthusiasm. Honestly, man, it seems like you have much deeper issues here – but the handjob problem is the only concrete thing you point to? The girlfriend you’ve got sounds superselfish, and finding a new girl – one who wouldn’t cheat on you and would be excited to jump into a relationship AND be down with a little tug – isn’t going to be that difficult of a task. I mean, your fetish seems like it’s an easy one to explore. But to answer your actual question: I would go ahead and fake it. Fuck it, lie to her. It seems like she has no issues lying to you! Follow Daniel Savage on Twitter at @somethingsavage and visit his website at somethingsavage.com. On the Lovecast, a special guest rant by writer Sherman Alexie: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net

Do you want a “sweet” addition to your family? Meet Snickers!

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Legal, Public Notices NOTICE OF PUBLIC AUCTION FOR MONIES DUE ON STORAGE LOCKERS LOCATED AT UHAUL COMPANY FACILITIES. STORAGE LOCATIONS AND TIMES ARE LISTED BELOW. ALL GOODS SOLD ARE HOUSEHOLD CONTENTS, MISCELLANEOUS OR RECOVERED GOODS. ALL AUCTIONS ARE HELD TO SATISFY OWNER’S LIEN FOR RENT AND FEES IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807, STARTS AT 8 am and RUNS CONTINUOUSLY. Uhaul Ctr Kirkman-600 S Kirkman Rd-Orlando 09/07/16: 1037 Jesse Brown, 1046 Ronald Deiter, 1107 Letitia Greenwich, 2015 Angie Martinez, 2025 Stephanie Succes, 2027 & 2028 Dakota P Gant, 2046 & 2049 Jonathan Mcknight, 2072 Shamara Scott, 2097 Jocelyn Daniels-Dos Santos 2012 Red Scooter VIN # L9NTEACX4C1100812, 2130 Quan Miller, 3003 Frederick Dauley, 3015 Jamie Mcintosh,3084 Latasha Kendrick, 4008 James Ivory, 4011 Collette Bailey, 5008 Shyrl Williams, 6022 Vicki Lane, 6042 Keyla Andujar, Uhaul Ctr Orange Ave-3500 S Orange Ave-Orlando 09/07/16: 1031 Marianne Oden, 1114 Tovia Robinson, 1268 Marilyn Blanchard, 1602 & 1811 Ambery Hines, 1609 Melissa Mcandrew, 1613 Rodrick Alexander, 1701 Othella Ruiz, 2125 Tymisha Davis Uhaul Ctr Baldwin Park- 4001 E Colonial Drive-Orlando 09/07/16: A121-22 & C124 Fernando Bouffard, B107 Charles Thompson, B160 & C177 Ann Gallagher, C133 Carlos Maruri, C176 Michael Horn, C192 Elizabeth Figueroa, C195 Willis Tetrick, D114 & D 116 Santanna Brown, D141 Crystal Wernicke Uhaul Ctr Goldenrod-508 N Goldenrod Rd-Orlando 09/07/16: 201 Clyde Salley Jr, 221 Adrain Robinson, 507 James Ashbridge, 516 David Pariser, 541 Yamilet Gener, 544 Daniela Coutin, 603 Zaida Michelle Vazquez, 614 Daniel Garcia, 740 Jancarlo Camejo Uhaul Ctr Alafaya-11815 E Colonial Drive-Orlando 09/07/16: 1114 Jose Vega, 1135 Jose Marrero, 1229 Jessica Rybold, 1275 Valerie Nicasio, 1602 Charles Anderson, 1610 Dennis Alvarado, 1908 Ashley Taylor.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION: 07/DAWSON PINE HILLS SERVICE CENTER CASE NO.: DP04-564 In the Interest of: J. K. DOB: 09/09/2004, C.K. DOB 06/12/2015, minor children SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: SCOTT WEAVER Address Unknown. WHEREAS a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child. You are hereby commanded to appear before Judge Daniel P. Dawson, on 19th day of September, 2016, at 11:00am at the Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED, YOU MIGHT LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. Pursuant to Sections 39.802(4)(d) and 63.082(6) (g), Florida Statutes, you are hereby informed of the availability of private placement with an adoption entity, as defined in Section 63.032(3), Florida Statutes. WITNESS my hand and seal of this Court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 29th day of July, 2016. This summons has been issued at the request of: Kirsten Teany, Esq., Florida Bar No.: 981540, Children’s Legal Services, State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 882 S. Kirkman Rd, Suite 200, Orlando, FL 32811. (407) 563-2380 - Telephone. Kirsten. Teany@myflfamilies.com. CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT By: /s/ Rochelle Marrero, Deputy Clerk (Court Seal). PLEASE CALL THE ATTORNEY AT (407) 563-2380 IF YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS. NOTICE is hereby given that the undersigned, Cira Solutions, LLC, of P.O. Box 618505, Orlando, FL 32861, pursuant to the requirements of the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations, is hereby advertising the following fictitious name: Cira Solutions It is the intent of the undersigned to register “Cira Solutions” with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. Dated: 8/12/16 NOTICE OF ADMINISTRATIVE ACTION STATE OF FLORIDA, OFFICE OF FINANCIAL REGULATION DANIZ JOSE AVILA ESCOBEDO Administrative Proceeding Docket No. 66298 Daniz Jose Avila Escobedo, 4978 Brightwood Blvd., Apopka, FL 32712, and 683 Ashford Oaks Dr., Apt 204, Altamonte Springs, FL 32714 YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that an Administrative Complaint (with Notice of Rights) has been filed against you by the State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, for failure to comply with certain requirements of Chapter 560, Florida Statutes. As such, your written defenses, if any, must be received at the address provided below by 5:00pm ET, on September 15, 2016. FAILURE TO RESPOND AS PRESCRIBED will result in a default entered against you regarding the allegations and penalties contained in the Administrative Complaint, including but not limited to an administrative fine imposed of $10,000 and a Cease & Desist Final Order. A copy of the Administrative Complaint may be obtained from, and your response must be filed with the Agency Clerk of the State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation as follows: GIGI HOLDER, Agency Clerk, State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, Post Office Box 8050, Tallahassee, FL 32314-8050, Email: Agency.Clerk@flofr. com, Tel: (850) 410-9889, Fax: (850) 410-9663. A copy of your response should be sent to: A copy of your response should be sent to: Jenny Salvia, Assistant General Counsel State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, 1313 N. Tampa Street, Suite 615, Tampa, FL 33602, Tel: (813) 218-5308. 8/17, 8/24, 8/31, 9/7.

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE PERSONAL PROPERTY OF THE FOLLOWING TENANTS WILL BE SOLD FOR CASH TO SATISFY RENTAL LIENS IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE FACILITY ACT, SECTIONS 83-806 AND 83-807: CONTENTS MAY INCLUDE KITCHEN, HOUSEHOLD ITEMS, BEDDING, TOYS , GAMES, PACKED CARTON, FURNITURE, TOOLS, TRUCKS, CARS ETC. THERE’S NO TITLE FOR VEHICLES SOLD AT THE LIEN SALE. OWNERS RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BID ON UNITS. Lien Sale to be held online ending Wednesday SEPTEMBER 07 ,2016 at the times indicated below. Viewing and bidding will only be available online at www.storagetreasures.com, beginning at least 5 days prior to the scheduled sale date and time.” PERSONAL MINI STORAGE ST CLOUD- 350 COMMERCE CENTER DRIVE ST CLOUD, FL 34769AT 10:00AM: 1140 Duwanda S Rouse, 1259 Eric Jackman, 1243 Keith Rodgers, 417 Michael J Lawrence, 1007 Osceola County Veterans Helping Veterans, Corp., 1154 Tyler Hamilton, 1166 Ashvin Goselin PERSONAL MINI STORAGE BROADVIEW- 2581 BROADVIEW DRIVE KISSIMMEE, FL 34744- AT 11:00AM: 130 Pablo Rosario; Honda 136 Jimmy Brandon Llanos 174 Miguel Rodriguez 238 Keyerra Buckley 240 Yessica Davila 334 Leon Dublin Jr, Trishaun Rashan Dublin 1992 Toyota MR2 Vin:JT2SW21M5N0017624, 456 Nathan Ramsey 512 James Stone 741 Rafael Rodriguez Baez 756 Jamie Rose Anderson 762 Nancy Ivette Torres 881 Cesar Ramirez 1999 Ford Winstar Van Vin:2FMDA5348XBC54828 PERSONAL MINI STORAGE KISSIMMEE - 1404 E. VINE ST. KISSIMMEE FL. 34744 AT 12:00 NOON: UNIT #60 Jerry W Henry, UNIT #132 Oscar Rivera, UNIT #135 Victor Rodriguez, UNIT #201 Martin Valle Class, UNIT #203 Terry Wilcox, UNIT #257 Martin Valle Class, UNIT #292 Ana Maria Rivera Maysonet, UNIT #297 Jonathan Cruz Ramos, PERSONAL MINI STORAGE DYER: 932 DYER BLVD KISSIMMEE FL 34741 AT-1:30PM: #131- Nilda Jusino; #207- Nicole Vargas; #214- Hector Rivera; #242- Victor Pacheco; #402- Curtis Walker; #404- Yasmin Vargas; #505- Jose Mendoza Action Taxi Orlando; #525- Domingo Nieves; #531- Edgar Fernandez; #1103- Tyquise Gilbert; #- 1141- Edyth Jeannelle Henderson; #1304- Michael Sanborn Jr; #1320- Crystal Lee PERSONAL MINI STORAGE BVL: 2852 MICHIGAN AVE KISSIMMEE FL 34744 AT 2:00PM: Murray312 Eduardo Rodriguez 819 Walter Thomas Ron 222 Danielle Simon 627 Laura Meaux. PERSONAL MINI STORAGE VINE; 608 W VINE ST KISSIMMEE FL 34741- AT 2:30PM: B756-Julio Cruz, B779-Pain Nickolas, B791-Alexis Lopez, B805-Venus Curiel, B810- John Santiago, B827-John Santiago, Lamar C Lenard Price, C853-Edward Cunningham Jr, C870-Deanna Feby, C871David W Greenhoward, C902-Elizabeth Gonzalez Medina, D124- Nicole Lopez Rivera, E919-Elsabeth Figueroa Allende, F197-Vidal Lopez Vazquez, F263-James Thompson, G287-Darron Wilkins, G326-Micheal Rivera, G336Manuel Otero Jr, H355-Carlos J Rodriguez Gonzalez, H360-Omar X Rivera Mercano, H382-Carmen Alvarez Loboa, H400-Kiomis Texidor Salas, H401-Floyd Brunson Sr, H476-Eulalia Rodriguez, H479-Heather Kight, I527-Evett J Brinson, Victorio(Victor) Miranda-Alberdi, I594-Oritisha Jackson.

NOTICE of Public Sale Storage Zone – Longwood - Personal Property consisting of couches, beds, TVs, Clothes, boxes of household goods, and other personal items used in the home, office, or garage will be sold for CASH or otherwise disposed of on August 27th, 2016 at 120 Highline Drive. Longwood, FL 32750 at 10:00AM. to satisfy owners lien for rent and fees due in accordance with Florida Statutes Self-Storage Act 83.806 and 83.807. All items or spaces may not be available at the time of sale. Unit 212 Preston Edmonson Jr., Unit 405 Vanessa Flood.

LOST OR ABANDONED PROPERTY FOUND OR RECOVERED WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS OF ORLANDO, FLORIDA. PROPERTY NOT CLAIMED WILL EITHER BE SURRENDERED TO THE FINDERS OR RETAINED FOR USE BY THE DEPARTMENT. CITY LIMITS OF ORLANDO, FLORIDA PICTURE IDENTIFICATION IS REQUIRED. AUGUST 2016 1. WATCH, UNIVERSAL BV 2. CELL PHONES, 100 BLK E CENTRAL 3. GIFT CARD, L B MCLEOD RD 4. CELL PHONE, CROSSROADS CT 5. FLAG, WASHINGTON/ROSALIND 6. JEWELRY, ALAMEDA/CORDOVA 7. BIKE, 9200 BLK DOWDEN RD 8. BIKE, 400 BLK FERNCREEK 9. GIFT CARDS, 4600 BLK EDGEMOOR 10. MONEY, 3600 BLK JOHN YOUNG PY 11. MONEY, 4600 BLK EDGEMOOR FOR INFO CALL (407) 246-2445, MONDAYS – THRU- THURSDAYS, 8:00 AM TILL 4:30 PM

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NOTICE OF SALE Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale: 2003 Dodge VN# 1B3ES56C83D197951 1996 Jeep VIN# 1J4FJ78S3TL250576 To be sold at auction at 8:00 a.m. on Sept. 7th, 2016, 7301 Gardner Street, Winter Park, FL. 32792 Constellation Towing & Recovery LLC

AUG. 24-30, 2016 ● ORLANDO WEEKLY

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Legal, Public Notices NOTICE OF PUBLIC AUCTION FOR MONIES DUE ON STORAGE LOCKERS LOCATED AT UHAUL COMPANY FACILITIES. STORAGE LOCATIONS AND TIMES ARE LISTED BELOW. ALL GOODS SOLD ARE HOUSEHOLD CONTENTS, MISCELLANEOUS OR RECOVERED GOODS. ALL AUCTIONS ARE HELD TO SATISFY OWNER’S LIEN FOR RENT AND FEES IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807, STARTS AT 8 am and RUNS CONTINUOUSLY. Uhaul Ctr Ocoee-11410 W. Colonial Drive-Ocoee 09/14/16: AA0178A Verrica Jackson, 1308 Cristian Negron, 1309 Rhonda Townsend-Abraham, 1621 Nikeria Upsher, 2372 Shanice Jernigan, 2807 Jorge Aguirre, 3306 Shelby Mcwhorter Uhaul Stg Haines City-3307 Hwy 17-92 W-Haines City 09/14/16: E0511 Carolyn Jackson, G0719 Richard Smith, G0738 Milton Hernandez, G0768 Timothy Taylor, G0807 Joshua Mcdonald Uhaul Ctr Hunters Creek-13301 S. Orange Blossom Trail-Orlando 09/14/16: 1003 Raquel Melendez, 1053 Gina Rispole, 1202 Schirlene Lubin, 1204 & 2222 Mathew Singh, 1340 Jose Sanchez, 1410 Kristin Dubose, 1507 Jorge Rivera, 1624 Evelyn Ramirez, 1707 Nikita Meetoo, 2010 Louie Crossfield, 2071 William Tejeda, 2246 Keith Staten, 3045 Audra Brown, 3165 Sherry Sheila Uhaul Stg Gatorland- 14651 Gatorland Dr-Orlando 09/14/16: 1136 Kelley Eavey, 208 Larry Levitt, 239 Sandra Pineda, 250 Eric Sosa, 267 Melitza Perez, 281 Johnny Orria, 318 Kristy Rodriguez, 333 Jason Choy, 345 Marqueia Foster, 438 Angelica Farruya, 512 Wisberty Torres, 721 Mary Margolis, 780 Tara Donley, 889 Iris Pina, 941 Deshea Higgs, 960 Brian Bocash.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY STATE OF FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 3/SHEA CASE NO: DP15-470 IN THE INTEREST OF: E.M. DOB 08/06/2015, Minor Child SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF TPR ADVISORY HEARING STATE OF FLORIDA TO:Chase Morris Address Unknown A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above referenced child(ren), a copy of which is attached. You are to appear on SEPTEMBER 28, 2016, at 9:30 a.m. at the Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, FL 32806, before honorable Judge, Timothy Shea, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILD(REN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. Pursuant to Sections 39.802(4)(d) and 63.082(6)(g), Florida Statutes, you are hereby informed of the availability of private placement with an adoption entity, as defined in Section 63.032(3), Florida Statutes. If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone 407-836-2303 within two working days of your receipt of this summons. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771. Witness my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County Florida on this 4th day of August, 2016. CLERK OF COURT By: /s/ Deputy Clerk, Kimberly Andre, Esquire, Florida Bar No.: 45283, Senior Attorney for Children’s Legal Services, State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, FL 32801, (407) 317-7417 - Telephone (407) 317-7126 - Fax.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY STATE OF FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 3/SHEA CASE NO: DP15-470 IN THE INTEREST OF: E.M. DOB 08/06/2015, Minor Child SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF TPR ADVISORY HEARING STATE OF FLORIDA TO:Kaci Yvonne Kern Address Unknown A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above referenced child(ren), a copy of which is attached. You are to appear on SEPTEMBER 28, 2016, at 9:30 a.m. at the Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, FL 32806, before honorable Judge, Timothy Shea, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILD(REN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. Pursuant to Sections 39.802(4)(d) and 63.082(6)(g), Florida Statutes, you are hereby informed of the availability of private placement with an adoption entity, as defined in Section 63.032(3), Florida Statutes. If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone 407-836-2303 within two working days of your receipt of this summons. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771. Witness my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County Florida on this 4th day of August, 2016. CLERK OF COURT By: /s/ Deputy Clerk, Kimberly Andre, Esquire, Florida Bar No.: 45283, Senior Attorney for Children’s Legal Services, State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, FL 32801, (407) 317-7417 - Telephone (407) 317-7126 - Fax.

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