“KANT SAY NO”

Dr. Manon Garcia, professor of Practical Philosophie at Freie Universität (Berlin), thinks you should consider Kant’s Formula of Humanity: “So act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means.” (This is German philosopher Immanuel Kant’s [17241804] first-ever appearance in Savage Love. Shame he isn’t alive to enjoy it.)

What that means, Garcia explained to me, is that we have an ethical duty — a positive duty — to treat people as ends in and of themselves, and not merely as means to our own ends.

“This positive duty is very demanding,” Garcia continued. “It requires attention to the particularities of persons and the fact that they are not abstract beings but individuals who have their own cognitive limitations that could affect their ability to consent in different situations.”

So again, if your sub’s not in his right mind, you can’t take the money. But if you know your sub well enough — and you love and respect them — and you believe your sub truly wants to give you all his money and has the cognitive abilities to make this choice and it would make him happy — if it would achieve his desired end — you can take the money.

It should go without saying — but I’m going to say it anyway — that you have a conflict of interest here, SETUP. So, to be perfectly scrupulous about the ethics of this, you might want to ask your sub to get a full psych workup before you agree and maybe book a few sessions with a sex-and-kink positive couples’ counselor you can talk with together before he give you the ultimate tribute.

Zooming back out for a second: Financial domination took off as a kink over the last 15 years. Its sudden popularity has, I think, something to do with the mass cultural trauma of the worldwide financial crisis of 2008 and the way our smartphones have facili- tated certain kinds of fantasy play and armslength sex work. And while SETUP may be the first FinDom I’ve heard from facing this particular dilemma, I don’t think he will be the last. I expect the others may find themselves in more ethically challenging dilemmas. Assuming SETUP is telling us the truth — his sub offered, SETUP didn’t demand; there are no children or other dependents — this one seems like a pretty easy call.

But for sake of argument — and because this might come up again in the future — let’s say SETUP’s sub had children. Could he take the money then?

“Parents have some duties to their children,” Garcia says, citing French law, which requires parents to leave their children at least 30% of their estate, even in cases where children may have been absolute shits.

“In most cases — that is, in cases where the kid does not have psychopathic tendencies — parents have something to do with how children treat them,” Garcia says, “so the children’s behavior cannot be grounds for complete disinheritance. If the sub had kids, I’d say it’d be unethical to agree to receive more than 50-70% of their assets — depending on their number of kids.”

Finally, SETUP, once it’s your money — if you take your sub’s money — you can do what you like with it. That could include setting up a generous trust fund that benefits your sub for the rest of his life, with remaining funds being returned to you after his death. If he doesn’t want and/or need the money from the monthly or quarterly check that comes in the mail while he’s alive, he can sign it over to you. So, even after everything is yours, he would still be in a position to pay you “tribute,” which he clearly enjoys doing.

Good luck to you, SETUP, whatever you decide to do.

Send your burning questions to mailbox@ savage.love. Find podcasts, columns and more at savage.love.

DRAWN BY KIERAN CASTAÑO

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