ON (small) SCREENS IN ORLANDO

by Steve Schneider

PREMIERES WEDNESDAY:

Bill Russell: Legend — A two-part doc profiles the late Celtics star, detailing his achievements on the court and in the arena of civil rights.

(Note: The “arena” of civil rights is not a venue officially endorsed by the NBA.) (Netflix)

The Exchange — You may find this hard to believe, but in the 1980s, the Kuwaiti stock market was not particularly open to women. Return with us now to those less enlightened times in a drama series that shows some determined heroines trying to break the glass ceiling on the trading floor. Wait until you get a load of the show’s theme song, “I Don’t Want to Kuwait for Our Lives to Be Over.”

(Netflix)

The Owl House — In the last episode of the animated fantasy series that got axed for being too adult for the Disney brand — and not, you know, too gay, cough cough — apprentice witch Luz gears up for a final battle to save the realm of the Boiling Isles. And when that’s over and done with, and she’s just a private citizen again, she can settle down to a nice life wearing all the flannel she wants.

(Disney+)

Santo Maldito — Latin America is the setting of an eight-episode drama about a teacher whose atheistic orientation is tested when he encounters a mysterious religious sect. But he can’t help it: That shit in The Babylon Bee is so hilarious it could convert anybody. (Hulu)

PREMIERES THURSDAY:

Attachment — Jewish folklore inspires a horror romance in which a Danish actress begins to suspect that her girlfriend’s mother commands dark forces. I mean, other than the usual ones of guilt and passive aggression.

(Shudder)

Dear David — A good girl’s erotic fantasies about a classmate become the talk of her school thanks to a computer mishap, in a flick that’s a vehicle for Indonesian teen star Shenina Cinnamon. Stream it while you can, because our Florida legislators know a gotdamn dragqueen name when they hear one. (Netflix)

Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine Special — In a carnally chaotic 44 minutes, Harley’s skills in bed cause Poison Ivy to send out pheromones that have all of Gotham City rutting like Dobermans. (HBO Max)

My Dad the Bounty Hunter — Work gets tougher for an intergalactic bounty hunter when his two kids stow away aboard his ship, on the way to bring in a dangerous criminal. The 10-episode animated series looks to find the intersection point between star-spanning adventure and family drama. You know, just like Lost in Space did. (And if you’re wondering if I mean the ’60s TV show, the ’90s theatrical film or the 2018 streaming series, the answer depends upon how pessimistic you think I am at any given moment.) (Netflix)

Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence — Fresh from his recent sentencing to 60 years for sex trafficking, Larry Ray becomes the subject of a docuseries that shows how he preyed upon the students of one of the Northeast’s most prestigious colleges — some of it while living in his own daughter’s dorm. “Well, of course. Have you seen the cost of apartments?” — UCF student. (Hulu)

You — Season 4 of the controversial psychological thriller series moves the action out of the United States for the first time, with stalker Joe Goldberg relocated to London and posing as a university professor. To help him lie low, he’s changed the focus of his obsession from unsuspecting women to West End musicals that will never, ever come to Broadway. (Netflix)

PREMIERES FRIDAY:

10 Days of a Good Man — Learn what happens when a Turkish attorney plays private dick to track down a missing person. Should make for boundary-breaking viewing here in America, where we’re used to our lawyers being public dicks. (Netflix)

Dug Days: Carl’s Date — Ed Asner has been dead for nearly a year and a half, but the miracle of long production times means he was still able to supply the voice of Carl Fredricksen in the latest short set in Pixar’s Up universe. After that, I guess we’re just going to have to find out how versatile Raven-Symoné really is. (Disney+)

Love Is Blind: After the Altar — The cast of Season 3 is back in a three-part special that’ll reveal which couples are still living in a state of perpetual bliss. Oh, and also which ones are married. (Netflix)

Love to Hate You — When a misogynist actor gets put together with a misandrist entertainment lawyer, true love is bound to ensue, say the makers of this South Korean romcom series. “Girl, get your commission in advance anyway,” say actual entertainment lawyers. (Netflix)

Somebody I Used to Know — A woman’s trip back to her hometown leads to upheaval in her love life in an homage to classic romcoms that’s been brought to us by the husbandand-wife team of Dave Franco and Alison Brie. Brother-in-law James Franco kept pressing for more flashbacks to high school, but nobody takes his calls anymore. (Prime Video)

Your Place or Mine — Best friends Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher swap lives on opposite sides of the country for a modern-day lesson in how the other half habitates. Moving from L.A. to New York proves hardest on her, because you look pretty stupid berating a cop who’s only trying to cite you for drunk jaywalking. (Netflix)

PREMIERES TUESDAY:

In Love All Over Again — This week’s seemingly endless parade of Valentine tales continues with a Spanish series that shows a young guy and girl falling for each other while working on a student film. And if you think that’s a heartwarming story, wait until you hear how long Abraham Zapruder was married to the developer who did his home movies. (Netflix)

Jim Jefferies: High n’ Dry — The Aussie comedy sensation ruminates on such Earthshaking ironies as baldness cures that have impotence as a side effect. Meanwhile, your niece can now get arrested for having irregular periods, but it’s harder to work that into a tight five. (Netflix)

Planet Sex With Cara Delevingne — The Suicide Squad/Only Murders in the Building star charts the breadth of human sexuality in a series that was supposed to premiere last November but got postponed to Valentine’s Day. You know, just like your plans for gettin’ the D. (Hulu)

Perfect Match — Past competitors from shows like The Circle and Too Hot to Handle come together under the eye of host Nick Lachey to take another shot at finding true love. There are also rewards for undermining another couple’s progress, which will make for reassuringly familiar viewing to anyone who’s ever been part of a Methodist singles ministry. (Netflix)

Re/Member — Proving once again that they can do everything better than us, the Japanese one-up Stand By Me with this story of teenagers who have to retrieve a human corpse piece by piece. Or who knows, maybe it’s just a dry run for the next generation of Pokémon Go. (Netflix)