San Antonio
MARCH 30-APRIL 5, 2016
FE B R UARY 10–APR IL 24
Thomas Schütte, Grosse Geister #2 [Big Spirit #2], 2003. Polished bronze. Courtesy of the Rubell Family Collection.
The Elizabeth Huth Coates Exhibition Endowment and the Arthur and Jane Stieren Fund for Exhibitions are lead sponsors.
Exhibition organized by the McNay Art Museum in collaboration with the Rubell Family Collection.
The Flora Crichton Visiting Artist Fund, the Ewing Halsell Foundation Endowment for Visiting Artists, the King Ranch Family Trust Endowment for Visiting Artists, Mitcham Partners, Judith and George Schroeder, the Director’s Circle, and the Host Committee are providing additional support.
6000 North New Braunfels | PO Box 6069 San Antonio, Texas 78209-0069 mcnayart.org
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 3
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IN THIS
FIRST WORDS
1
On “SAPD Chief William McManus ‘Bewildered’ by Police Union’s ‘Vicious’ No-confidence Vote” // TheLady Magdalene: I vote no confidence in the stinking police union that holds our city hostage by refusing to negotiate, and ties the hands of a police chief whose responsibility it is to impose consequences on his officers. The police union is out of control. Why then should we be surprised that the cops are out of control, and suffer no consequences for murdering civilians in the streets? City council and McManus need to stand strong, and put the police union in its place. The union needs to understand that it does NOT have ultimate control, and errant cops must be punished. [sic] On “Watch: Boban Marjanovic Drops Career High 19 Points in Spurs Win” // Matthew Delgado: Boban’s a monster. I mean he’s literally a monster. Dude looks like he was being chased 10 miles by angry villagers. On “As More Musicians Design Custom NBA Tees it Begs, ‘Who Should Rep the Spurs?’” // Jose Ortega: It starts with George strait and the list ends with George strait [sic]
ISSUE Issue 16_13 /// March 30 – April 5, 2016
12
Newsmonger Throwing shade // Religious surveillance // Risky business
20
47
20
CALENDAR
Our top picks for the week
Distinguished Service Inside the push to house San Antonio’s homeless vets
39
• Send your thoughts, comments or kudos to letters@sacurrent.com
NEWS
41
SCREENS
26
ARTS + CULTURE
San Antonio Badasses We profile badass San Antonians who have shaped the city Game Changing SA Book Festival builds on momentum after continued success
41
FOOD
47
NIGHTLIFE
Rebel With a Cause Penis monsters and vampire Nazis take center stage at inaugural Straight-Jacket Film Fest
What’s in a Name? Monikers aside, Grayze is your new favorite casual hang
West Side Stories Visiting Cupples, a West Side conjunto institution
Flavor File Rebelle’s getting ready for brunch
Final Piece Paper Tiger’s now complete with Rumble
52
66
MUSIC
Embed With the Band Blacknail and the radical possibilities of chance Making Music in the Margins A perspective on the current state of San Antonio women in music Music Calendar What to see and hear this week
ETC.
Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology This Modern World
ON THE
COVER Local luminaries from San Antonio’s past and present are assembled in one place for this week’s Badass Issue. Illustration by Ray “Tattooedboy” Scarborough Art direction by Rick Fisher and Sarah Flood-Baumann
8 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 9
Godfrey APR 22-23 @ LOL
Roy Wood Jr. APR 1-2 @ LOL
Nikki Glaser APR 8 & 9 @ LOL
Deon Cole MAY 27-29 @ The Improv
Ralphie May JUN 2-4 @ LOL
Michael Yo JUN 10 & 11 @ LOL
Earthquake JUN 17-19 @ The Improv
Greg Fitzsimmons JUL 8-10 @ The Improv
Tommy Davidson JUL 15-17 @ LOL
Dave Attell JUL 22 & 23 @ LOL
Jon Reep AUG 5-7 @ LOL
Carlos Mencia AUG 12-14 @ LOL
Clayton English SEP 22-25 @ LOL
Tom Segura SEP 29-OCT 01 @ LOL
Alex Reymundo OCT 20-23 @ LOL
Poppy Champlin & The Queer Queens JUL 13-14 @LOL
Mitch Fatel AUG 18-21 @ The Improv
Sommore AUG 26-28 @ The Improv
Brent Morin MAY 13-15 @ LOL
sanantoniocomedyclubs.com 10 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
Joshua D. Evans May 25 @ LOL
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sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 11
NEWS
•
Ted Cruz does not understand religious liberty.
BEXAR-O-METER Checking the temperature of events in Bexar County and beyond
NEWSMONGER Throwing Shade // Religious Surveillance // Risky Business Throwing Shade The San Antonio Police Officer’s Association wants the department’s leader, William McManus, to resign. In a no-confidence vote last week, the SAPOA claims 97 percent of police officers said they do not trust the chief, who has pushed for police reform and rescinded the indefinite suspension of an officer who shot and killed an unarmed black man in early February. At a press conference on the steps of City Hall following the vote, where McManus was surrounded by city officials and a handful of police officers, he called the union’s vote illegitimate, accusing SAPOA of manipulating the truth and lying to its own members. SAPOA President Mike Helle responded by saying McManus is destroying the police department. “The facts are plain and simple. The City Manager [Sheryl Sculley] continues to misstate the truth and Chief McManus is complicit in her actions that are destroying the San Antonio Police Department,” Helle said in a press release. “Mayor [Ivy] Taylor, City Manager Sheryl Sculley, and now Chief McManus have chosen to ignore the voice of nearly 2,000 officers.” Oh, did we mention that the SAPOA is involved in a prolonged collective
MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN
SA BOOK FESTIVAL Bibliophiles rejoice bargaining conflict and that the City has sued the union over an evergreen clause in its contract? Religious Surveillance Republican Presidential candidate Ted Cruz says he’s all about religious liberty. After all, now that same-sex couples can marry, the attack on the Christian right is more explosive than ever. God-fearing Christians should never have to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple. And bigot county clerks should never ever have to issue a marriage license to a lesbian couple, even if the Supreme Court did rule that same-sex access to legal marriage is a Constitutional right. Religious liberty to only bake cakes for Christian couples should trump Supreme Court rulings. Those views are hook, line and sinker for Cruz. So, it’s amazing, but not surprising, that after a terrible terrorist attack in Brussels, Cruz called for surveillance of all Muslim communities in the United States. “We need to empower law enforcement to patrol and secure Muslim neighborhoods before they become radicalized,” Cruz said. So much for that whole religious liberty thing, eh, Ted? Oh, wait, he never really meant that stuff anyway. Cruz just hates the gays, but clearly not as much as he disdains America’s Muslims. If that was the case, he would have called for increased patrols of Christian cake shops to keep them out.
12 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
Risky Business The controversial 142-mile Vista Ridge Pipeline is still afloat, even though Spanish company Abengoa, which was charged with building the lauded pipeline that would secure the future of San Antonio’s water, is facing bankruptcy proceedings. During Mayor Ivy Taylor’s State of the City address, she announced that Abengoa’s construction partner, Garney Construction, was taking control of all decision-making authority and would purchase 80 percent of the project equity from the beleaguered company. Meanwhile, the Save Our Springs Alliance filed a lawsuit in Travis County District Court against the Central Texas Regional Water Supply Corporation, seeking to overrule an attorney general’s ruling in favor of that organization, denying a public information request for documents regarding land condemnation of private land for the Vista Ridge Pipeline and pump stations, as well as basic info like meeting minutes. “A private company has created this water supply corporation to get the benefits of a public entity, namely eminent domain, yet when the public requests access to information as straight forward as meeting minutes, the Corporation tries to hide from the open records law,” says Lauren Ice, a staff attorney with the Save Our Springs Alliance. The Central Texas Regional Water Supply Corporation four-member board’s majority are affiliated with Abengoa. mreagan@sacurrent.com
PLANNED PARENTHOOD LUNCHEON Featuring Cecile Richards and Dolores Huerta on April 15 RACIST TWITTER BOT Microsoft apologizes after social media experiment turns ugly CRYSTAL CITY Indicted mayor runs for re-election ZIKA UPDATE 33 possible cases SPRING BREAKER DROWNS Tragedy strikes for area family EAST SIDE GUN VIOLENCE Enough, already
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sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 13
March 31 April 1,2,7,8 & 9 7:30 pm 14 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
April 3 & 10 2:30 pm
McAllister Auditorium San Antonio College
NEWS
DISTINGUISHED SERVICE Inside the push to house San Antonio’s homeless vets MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS
The interaction between Shane Browning and Teresa Estrada looks routine. They’re seated across from each other in a small, drab cubicle. Browning produces various documents, checking boxes and initialing blank spaces on a seemingly endless number of forms, while Estrada asks questions about his credit history and monthly income. The scene looks pedestrian, like something you’d pass by at a bank or the DMV. But it’s not. Meetings like this are critical building blocks for San Antonio’s final push to end veteran homelessness, part of a nationwide federal initiative. Browning is a homeless veteran. Estrada is a navigator, a kind of case worker employed by nonprofit Family Endeavors whose job is to help vets like Browning find housing, employment, medical assistance and anything else they need to stay off the street. The city formally announced its participation in the Mayor’s Challenge to End Veteran Homelessness in January 2015, and it aims to meet that goal by March 31. It’s an ambitious target, but officials say the city will likely hit it. The finish line is only in sight because of sit-downs like this one held at Haven for Hope. And it’s made the agencies who serve the homeless better equipped to help everyone, not just veterans. “Starting from scratch ... the process started a little more slowly than we would have liked,” said Scott Ackerson, vice president of strategic relationships at Haven for Hope. “Some people might think it’s sort of a linear track: You identify the veteran, you identify the apartment, you get the veteran in the apartment and then you’re all done. The reality is it’s all a process, and it’s never linear.” Estrada and her fellow navigators are well-versed in that non-linear process. They’re foot soldiers, they’re fixers. Whatever a veteran needs — a ride to an apartment, sorting out Veterans Affairs benefits — the navigators are there.
“Every [veteran] is very different. You’ve got to adapt to the individual to see how best to serve them,” said Michael Niño, another navigator and a Marine Corps veteran. “I don’t like seeing those who have fulfilled their obligation to our country down and out.” Meeting Criteria Melody Woosley, director of Human Services for the City, said that SA is “on track” to reach the deadline, which Mayor Ivy Taylor reiterated in her State of the City address. Over 1,200 homeless veterans in SA, including 116 who were chronically homeless, have been housed since January 2015, or are in the process of being housed, according to the City of San Antonio. Since then, about 50 new homeless veterans have been identified each month. It’s unclear how many are currently on the street. Woosley said the City decided on the March 31 date after the U.S. Interagency Council on Homelessness (USICH) announced its new criteria last October for confirming the elimination of veteran homelessness. The USICH criteria isn’t a straightforward census. Instead, it’s as much about building systems and capacity to support veterans as it is getting them off the street. To meet the USICH standard, government agencies and nonprofit organizations must identify every homeless veteran in their city and be able to immediately offer them shelter. Veterans must move into permanent housing within 90 days. If a veteran declines the help, assistance must be re-offered at least once every two weeks. USICH also stresses that cities use the “housing first” model of homelessness intervention, which advocates first moving a person into a home before addressing other issues. “It’s about creating a system where ... veteran homelessness is rare, brief and non-reoccurring,” Woosley said. “That doesn’t mean there will never be another homeless veteran. It’s that we have a system in
place that we can identify every veteran that’s homeless. We can ensure that they are housed quickly, and that they are absolutely not forced to sleep on the street.” Whether San Antonio meets the self-imposed March 31 deadline probably won’t be known until after it passes, since it takes several weeks for USICH to verify that a city has met its criteria. Driven to Succeed Browning, 47, wants a fresh start. He’s been homeless since November, when a split with his thenwife sent him into a steep spiral. He spent most of that time sleeping in the woods, though he stayed in Prospects Courtyard, Haven for Hope’s free, openair concrete slab where people can sleep, for about a month. A navigator met him there and told him about special benefits available to veterans. Browning spent four years in the Army as an infantryman. He served during the Gulf War but didn’t see combat. His right eye was covered by gauze to prevent his eyelid from getting infected — an ailment he said has stumped doctors, and forced him out of his civilian job as a commercial diver after he couldn’t pass a physical. He misses the camaraderie of the military. Now he’s focused on going back to school, maybe to become a paramedic. The biggest item in his camo backpack is a dictionary-sized biology textbook. “It gets my mind off a lot of the stuff,” Browning said of his studies. “I’m more driven now than I was. I was pretty driven back then to accomplish the goals that I’d set ... but I don’t want to fail again.” Browning wants what most of us want — a job, a car, a chance to be productive. In the short-term, he’d like to work with animals and go to San Antonio College. He CONTINUED ON PAGE 17 ►
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 15
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sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 19
CALENDAR
ARMANDO CORRIENTE
THU
31
Selena Tribute
FRI
MUSIC
Every year, on March 31, Texans gather to commemorate the life and tragic death of Selena Quintanilla, the hip-shaking, cumbia-belting deity of tejano. Now, 21 years after we lost her to a bullet in a Corpus Christi motel, children born on the day of her death can make a toast or pour one out for the Texan icon. At Industry’s tribute night, one can afford to pour out a few of their dangerously cheap drinks, wetting the dance floor during medley sets from DJ Danny D. It still feels strange to observe Selena’s death by partying, but this is social music, meant for dancing and singing — en masse and out of tune. Free, 9pm-2am, Industry, 8021 Pinebrook Drive, (210) 374-2765. — Matt Stieb
1
Steven Wright COMEDY
The prototypical Steven Wright joke is formulated with haiku-like precision — “Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect” — and delivered with temple-massaging exasperation as though it’s his real life we’re laughing at. The award-winning filmmaker and Louie producer gets even weirder, however, when he attempts to tell a story. A longer Wright bit will stretch space and time, call into question the nature of existence, or threaten student loan collection agents with nuclear weapons, like Henny Youngman did so much ayahuasca he forgot about the damn violin. $24.50-$39.50, 8pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. – Jeremy Martin
20 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
FRI
1
La Santa Cecilia MUSIC
A living jukebox of polyrhythm and Latin styles, La Santa Cecilia continue to press international flair into a Southern California mold with their new album Buenaventura. After winning the Best Latin Rock Grammy in 2014 for Treinta Días, the sextet upped the ante with their new record, honing their unique ability to treat heavy subjects without losing the light, buoyant feeling of their music. Written to call attention to “all the violence that’s happening around the world right now,” the new single “Nunca Más” is a bright and body-moving call for peace. $25, 8pm, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — MS
FRI
1
Martha Kelly COMEDY
If you wanna know about the glamorous life of a stand-up, watch any episode of In the Can, a web series formerly hosted by Martha Kelly from a sofa in what appears to be the can at Austin’s Cap City Comedy Club. That headliners such as Doug Benson and Brian Posehn would consent to being “interviewed” (Kelly spends most episodes apologizing or describing food and body issues in low-energy deadpan) under such conditions speaks clearly about conditions on tour. Now that Kelly’s scored a role in Zach Galifianakis’ new FX show Baskets, maybe she’ll graduate from hosting bathroom webcasts to gueststarring on them. $12, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersa.com. — JM
22
TREEmendous Family Fun International Tree Climbing Championship Arbor Fair and Arbor Expo
(ITCC)
Arbor Expo
ITCC
Saturday, April 2, 2016 9 am – 4 pm Sunday, April 3, 2016 10 am – 2 pm
Saturday, April 2, 2016 9 am – 4 pm Sunday, April 3, 2016 9 am – 3 pm
Saturday, April 2, 2016 8 am – 6 pm Sunday, April 3, 2016 8:30 am – 3:30 pm
• Learn about Benefits of Trees • Artisans & Crafts • Live Demonstrations
22 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
Brackenridge Park, San Antonio
Arbor Fair
FREE to the Public
Event attendees receive a bracelet for $3 off zoo admission
April 2 –3, 2016
• Animal Exhibits from the San Antonio Zoo • Limbwalk • Fun Tree Climb
• • • •
Face Painting Bucket Truck Rides Musical Entertainment Food Trucks
For a detailed event schedule visit: www.itcc-isa.com/itcc
23 CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE
SAT
2
Literary Death Match
FRI-SAT
With Def Poetry Jam, Double Dare and American Idol among its seemingly disparate influences, Literary Death Match is designed to “showcase literature as a brilliant, unstoppable medium.” Co-created by Adrian Todd Zuniga, the “brainy battle of literary wits” takes shape in four short author presentations followed by animated commentary from a panel of judges and a final showdown between two finalists. Functioning as the “celebratory conclusion” of the San Antonio Book Festival’s fourth chapter, LDM brings together authors Sara Benincasa (Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom), Jamie Brickhouse (Dangerous When Wet: A Memoir of Booze, Sex, and My Mother), Joaquin Zihuatanejo (Fight: Poems) and David Crabb (Bad Kid: A Memoir) for high-stakes readings to be judged by author/Trinity professor Coleen Grissom, comic/author Zach Anner and “celesbian” performer Sandra Valls in the respective categories of “Literary Merit,” “Performance” and “Intangibles.” Hosted by Zuniga himself, the friendly bout kicks off with live music by “cosmic American” outfit National Standard (comprised of “school teachers by day, raucous musicians by night”) and tempts boozy bookworms with upgrades such as orchestra-level seating and a reception featuring cocktails from The Last Word and appetizers from The Old Main Association. $10-$50, reception at 5:30pm, LDM at 7pm, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 225-4728, saplf.org/festival. — Bryan Rindfuss
Art
Art opening: “Bailando con Mi Misma”
Debra Benditz Art Studios unveils a new solo show by Barbara Felix, whose latest body of work incorporates self-portraiture and quick gestural lines that capture “fleeting moments in relationships through dance.” At the reception: Latin-style style hors d’oeuvres and a flamenco performance. Free, 5:30-8pm Friday; Debra Benditz Art Studios, 237 W. Travis St., (512) 588-2606.
Art opening: “Patterns, Bodies, and Beasts” Terminal 136 pairs MFA thesis
exhibitions by Brittany Ham and Kaela Puente. While Ham’s abstract paintings sample from pop culture and the Internet, Puente’s narrative vignettes explore the relationship between nature and culture. Free, 6-9pm Thursday-Friday; Terminal 136, 136 Blue Star, (210) 458-4391.
Art opening: “The Things I Carried”
Presented as an “evolutionary addendum” to the Contemporary Art Month exhibit “We’re Talking About Practice,” the group show “The Things I Carried” continues an intimate dialogue between curator Norbert Clyde Martinez Jr. and visiting artists Christi Birchfield, Grayson Cox, Eric Ramos Guerrero, Emily Henretta, William Santen, Jessica Segall, Edgar Serrano, Rob Swainston and Jesse Weiss. Free, 6-9pm Friday, Hello Studio & Blue Star Arts Complex Space 112, 1414 S. Alamo St., (210) 630-0235.
Film
Hysteria Sexology hosts a free screening
(complete with popcorn) of director Tanya Wexler’s romantic dramedy surrounding two doctors in Victorian England who used
manual stimulation of female genitalia to cure their patients’ ills, leading to the invention of the first vibrator. Free, 8pm Friday; Sexology Institute and Boutique, 727 S. Alamo St., (210) 487-0371.
Psycho One mark of a classic is whether it
feels new after you know its twist and turns. Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 landmark Psycho qualifies. Now that Bates Motel and “shower scene” have entered the vocabulary of pop culture, not to mention the jabbing highpitched violins of Bernard Herrmann’s score, we can relax and perceive that the dialogues between Janet Leigh and Anthony Perkins during the first half hour remain some of the most grown-up and sympathetic conversations between a man and woman in film history. And then the horror starts. The McNay revives the iconic thriller as part of its Dressed to Kill film series. $15-$20, 2pm Sunday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.
TRAPPED Dawn Porter’s 2016 documentary
TRAPPED tells the personal stories of those most impacted by Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers — from the physician who crisscrosses the country assuring medical services are still available, to the determined women and men who run the clinics, to the lawyers leading the legal charge to eliminate these laws, to the women they are all determined to help. $10 at brownpapertickets.com, 6:30pm Wednesday; Alamo Drafthouse Park North, NW Loop 410, (210) 805-9068.
Theater
8X8 Cabaret du Jump Perfect for drama buffs with short attention spans, Jump-Start’s new four-night cabaret brings together a changing
1-2
The Final Weekend
Since opening its sticker-clad front door back in 2008, The Ten Eleven has hosted countless rad and sweaty-ass shows, drenched in the youthful miracle of punk as an attitude (and maybe beer). Once named The Warhol, The Ten Eleven got its current name from location details, like some of the finest joints of all time. Now, after years hosting strong visiting talent, like The Thermals, King Khan and the Shrines, The Men, The Coathangers, HEALTH, Cloud Nothings and many more, and nurturing young local acts devotedly, the rock sweatshop is throwing one last party before hanging up its name and its punk cred. Owned by Colin Wells, Brandon Hicks and Jordan Williams all these years, the club will officially belong to Michael Carrillo (Deer Vibes), who has basically grown up in the place, doing everything from tending bar to working sound and basically being the de facto general manager at times. This weekend, come celebrate what was, and what is to come, in one last hurrah. The two nights of shows will feature some of the bands that helped shape the place, including The Grasshopper Lies Heavy, Cinderleaf and The Cardinal Health. Free, 7pm Fri -Sat, The Ten Eleven, 1011 Avenue B, (210) 320-9080, theteneleven.com. — James Courtney lineup of dancers, poets, performance artists, monologists and musicians to present eight-minute performances in an 8-foot cube. $8, 8pm Friday-Saturday; Jump-Start Performance Co., 710 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 227-5867.
The Complete Works of Shakespeare (Abridged!) Performed by a trio of actors,
this 90-minute romp through the Bard’s 37 plays humorously reduces complex plots to their constituent parts while making light of the playwright’s commonly recycled dramatic elements. $10-$15, 7:30pm Saturday; Arneson River Theatre, La Villita, 418 Villita St., (800) 838-3006.
Center of the Universe The Overtime’s new collection of comedies comprises SMART and Center of the Universe (by Melanie Kirschbaum and Alexandra Decas), The Trial of Jamal Jenkins (by Shawn C. Harris) and Lake Street Creamed Corn, Randy Quaid Is Coming and The Return of Randy Quaid (by William M. Razavi). $10-$15, 8pm Friday-Saturday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.
Words
Chicana Great Books Series: Chicana Falsa Patricia Portales moderates a
discussion about Michele Serros’ witty and irreverent anthology Chicana Falsa: And Other Stories of Death, Identity, and Oxnard. Free, 6:30-8pm Tuesday; Barrio Barista, 3735 Culebra Road, (210) 734-9673.
Disney on Ice Mouse-ter of Ceremonies Mickey Mouse leads a parade of 50-plus characters (including Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy and an ensemble of Disney princesses) as they discover love is the greatest magic of all. $16-$55, 7:30pm Thursday-Friday, 11:30am, 3:30pm & 7:30pm Saturday, 1:30pm & 5:30pm Sunday; Alamodome, 100 Montana St., (210) 226-5967.
Reasons to Be Pretty In this final
Comedy
Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy
installment of Neil Labute’s trilogy of plays exploring obsession with physical appearance, the dead-end lives of four working-class friends unravel around a lover’s passing remark about his girlfriend’s face. In typical Labute fashion, language lies at the crux of this coming-of-age play. Expect plenty of F-bombs and variations on other four-letter insults in this piece that celebrates “the uncommonness in common speech.” $12-$30, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.
Superstar comedians Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy unite for the “We’ve Been Thinking Tour,” which promises a “laughterpacked evening of all-new material” that culminates with a collaborative encore. $62.50-$199.50, 5:30pm & 8pm Sunday; Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624.
Special Events
Kings Coming Out King Anchovy alums Chris
Hill, James Lifshutz and many more unite for a Cornyation fundraiser celebrating this year’s Kings Anchovy: Wayne D. Beers and Michael Bobo. The $25 donation includes beer, margaritas, street-style tacos, jalapeños rellenos and a live soundtrack by King Pelican. $25, 5:30-8pm Tuesday; The King William Garden House at El Mirador, 722 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 225-9444.
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 23
Join Us for
Cuba: The Road Less Traveled with Volunteer Educator Al Martinez at
Whole Earth Provision Co. AT QUARRY MARKET LOCATION 255 East Basse • San Antonio • 210-829-8888
April 5th at 7pm Americans can once again travel to Cuba, though there are still some restrictions. If you’re thinking about making the trip, you won’t want to miss this. Cuban born Al Martinez of Hostelling International USA will be sharing his insights and travel tips in his presentation, Cuba: The Road Less Traveled.
More at: WholeEarthProvision.com
APRIL is TEXAS STATE PARKS MONTH at
Make a donation during April at any Whole Earth store store and help support our Texas State Parks.
Donations of any amount are gratefully accepted. Donate $20 or more and receive a $5 Texas State Parks Gift Card. Donate $30 or more and receive a pair of Smartwool socks & the gift card. For a $50 or more donation, receive a limited edition Whole Earth branded Buff ® headwear, Smartwool socks & the gift card. WHILE SUPPLIES LAST.
Quarry Market at 255 East Basse 210-829-8888 24 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE
Rivertini Bartenders from San Antonio’s
top bars go head to head for this eighth annual event with cocktail samples, hors d’oeuvres, music, and proceeds benefiting the San Antonio River Foundation’s continuing efforts to bring dynamic contemporary art to the Museum and Mission Reaches. $75-$125, 6-8:30pm Thursday; Wyndham Garden River Walk Museum Reach, 103 9th St., (210) 224-2694.
Run & Walk for AIDS Launched in 1991 and
now established as the city’s most significant HIV/AIDS fundraiser, the Run & Walk for AIDS celebrates the lives of those affected by HIV/ AIDS while raising much-needed funds for the San Antonio AIDS Foundation (SAAF). The route begins and ends at the Blue Star Arts Complex and runs along the Mission Reach of the San Antonio River. $25-$45, 7-10:30am Sunday; Blue Star Arts Complex, 1420 S. Alamo St., (210) 225- 4715, runwalkaids.org.
10am-5pm Sunday, 10am-9pm Tuesday). Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.
Síclovía Organized by the YMCA of Greater
San Antonio, Síclovía allows city streets to become temporarily car-free for the public to enjoy a safe, fun place to walk, bike, jog and participate in exercise classes. The 10th event runs from Maverick Park to Roosevelt Park with designated Reclovía areas to relax along the way. Free, 11am-3pm Sunday; visit siclovia.org for details and a map of the route.
LGBT
A Night on the Nile & A Night in Cairo
Babio’s celebrates local drag star Kristi Waters’ birthday with a wild weekend combining two Egyptian-themed parties: A Night on the Nile (emceed by Foxxy Blue Orchid and featuring performances by Sasha Taylor and Chola Magnolia) and A Night in Cairo (hosted by Austin-based Kelly Kline and featuring performances by Toni R. Andrews and many more). Free, midnight Friday-Saturday; Babio’s, 527 W. Hildebrand Ave., (210) 409-7245.
Raven and Cynthia Lee Fontaine Rey
Lopez Entertainment’s latest pairs RuPaul’s Drag Race season two favorite Raven (aka David Petruschin, a makeup artist, performer and comedian from Riverside, California) and Austin-based season eight contestant Cynthia Lee Fontaine (born Carlos Hernandez in San Juan, Puerto Rico). Hosted by San Anto original Tencha la Jefa, the evening includes performances by the RLE Showgirls. $10-$25, 10:30pm Wednesday; Heat Nightclub, 1500 N. Main Ave., (210) 227-2600.
International Tree Climbing Championship Sixty tree care
professionals put their climbing skills to the test at this event with exhibitors, artisans, carnival games and a recreational tree climb for kids and adults. Free, 8am-5pm Saturday-Sunday; Brackenridge Park, 3700 N. St. Mary’s St., (217) 531-2849.
Kaleidoscope Dreams Fashion Show
Emerging designers Nabil Gomez, Valerie Perez, Kossla Vaesna, Linda Tijerena, Lauren Nicole and Savannah Lace present vivid fashions at an evening reception with an array of vendors and “funky DJ sets from Arkeologist and Jonah Conrad.” $8-$12, 8pm-midnight Saturday; Dorćol Distilling Company, 1902 S. Flores St., (210) 229-0607.
Night of Artists The Briscoe’s signature
fundraiser kicks off with an artist reception and preview with beer, wine, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres ($125, 5:30-8:30pm Friday), followed by a dinner and awards ceremony ($200, 5:30-10:30pm Saturday) and a public sale and exhibition featuring more than 200 Western-themed works ($8-$10,
200 West Jones Avenue | San Antonio, Texas 78215 | samuseum.org This exhibition was organized by the Harvard Art Museums, Cambridge, Massachusetts. The exhibition has been funded in part through an award from the National Endowment for the Arts and major corporate support from National Grid. In San Antonio this exhibition is generously supported by the National Endowment for the Arts, the Helen and Everett Jones Exhibition Endowment, the Nathalie and Gladys Dalkowitz Charitable Trust, the Daniel J. Sullivan Family Charitable Foundation, Mrs. Rosario Laird, and the City of San Antonio’s Department for Culture and Creative Development.
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 25
s e s d s Ba a
ARTS + CULTURE
S.A.
W
ith San Antonio’s continued growth, it’s easy to focus on a #CityOnTheRise. But before the tech moment and the recent culinary boom, others had to lay the foundation for the River City’s upward trajectory. As such, we’re looking at uncompromising, relentless pioneers new and old who’ve made (and continue to make) San Anto great. From solar explorers to our first and second female mayors, we celebrate these San Antonio badasses.
J
une 13, 2015, was a proud day for Lila Cockrell. It wasn’t for anything that she had personally accomplished, necessarily. Like the rest of us, Cockrell, 94, sat on the sidelines that day, watching Mayor Ivy Taylor and former State Sen. Leticia Van de Putte vie for the top political spot in San Antonio. But as the city’s first female mayor, she couldn’t help but be pleased by seeing two women in the final sprint for the office she formerly held. “I remember a little book I had as a young girl that someone gave me. It was a book about what people could do — young boys and girls. It showed boys could be police officers or firefighters or doctors or lawyers or all kinds of things. And girls could be teachers and nurses and brides. So the doors of opportunity have gradually been opened,” Cockrell said. But they didn’t come ajar on
their own — and to assume so belies Cockrell’s badass role in shoving them wide open for women like Taylor, Van de Putte and so many others. Cockrell moved to San Antonio in 1956 with her husband, Sid, after living in Dallas. She was elected mayor in 1975 and served until 1981. She ran again in 1989 after the death of her husband and won another term. She said that the contributions she’s proudest of include the restoration of the city’s parks, such as the capital campaign for the Japanese Tea Garden she helped lead. She later served as president of the SA Parks Foundation and co-chair of the River Improvement Project. Preserving the river, she recalled, was always her passion. “I remember just being entranced with the San Antonio River. I remember saying, ‘If it’s possible to fall in love with a river, I fell in love with a river,’” she said. “So many things I love about San Antonio tie into the river. ... My life has been attuned to the river.”
Lila Cockrell
MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS
26 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
O
ne of the people who helped shape San Antonio more than any other did so with a smile, a bow tie and an unabashed love for the city on his sleeve. Bill Sinkin, a banker, activist, organizer, philanthropist and, of course, badass, died in 2014 at age 100. He grew up in San Antonio, the son of Russian immigrants. He was driven by a sense of social justice and moral rectitude that his son Lanny said was fostered in him through being bullied at a young age. “As a young boy coming from an Old World Jewish family … other young men would beat him up and call him names. He saw that as sort of a life-shaping experience, experiencing prejudice directly. I think that always made him into a champion for anybody who was facing that oppression.” Sinkin’s San Antonio legacy — and perhaps even the briefest list of his achievements — cannot be contained within a single article. But Lanny said three in particular stood out: spearheading Hemisfair ’68, his work with Solar San Antonio and helping to found Goodwill of San Antonio. Hemisfair ’68, that year’s World’s Fair, is often credited with catalyzing the city’s growth. Sinkin led the charge to bring the fair to San Antonio, lobbying anyone who’d listen. That it actually happened was a “miracle,” his son said. It took hundreds of millions of dollars and the seizure of dozens of acres through eminent domain. Hemisfair Park and the Tower of the Americas serve as the most visible legacies of the fair. Fast forward roughly 30 years, and Sinkin was knee deep in another effort that would transform the city: Solar San Antonio. The nonprofit advocacy group helped launch San Antonio’s investment in solar, and pushed CPS Energy to clean up its energy portfolio.
Bill Sinkin MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS
But beyond the big ticket items were also smaller, typically unseen and undocumented acts of grace and kindness: creating microloans for small and minority-owned businesses, sitting with a black friend at a segregated lunch counter. “One of the qualities of San Antonio that he most appreciated was that you could bring the people together with very distinct and different viewpoints and politics and still get something done,” Sinkin said. “It was the fundamental unity in the community that was able to transcend the divisions.” When Sinkin died, Lanny said many of the calls and letters he received praised these seemingly small deeds, and his willingness to stand on principle regardless of consequence. “He loved people. He would just get involved in everybody’s life, in his way. He helped a ton of people,” Lanny said. “He was someone who was always willing to say what needed to be said, and usually did so in a way that people could hear. Which is sort of a remarkable talent.”
April 23-24, 2016
Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 10am-4pm
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sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 27
ARTS + CULTURE
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he’s still quite the social butterfly,” opined Pat Mozersky. Mozersky is past president of Les Dames d’Escoffier International, an organization of women in the culinary arts, of which catering queen Rosemary Kowalski is a founding member and recently was proclaimed Grande Dame. Some might consider her rise to international fame from the beer and barbecue joint she and her husband opened on North Zarzamora in 1946 to be nothing short of astonishing. But for Kowalski it seems that serving the likes of Queen Elizabeth II and Pope John Paul II has all been just part of a day’s work. Given that the RK Group she founded now comprises 28 separate businesses run by her son, Greg — in cities from San Antonio to Phoenix, nobody would ever guess that there was a time when she didn’t even know what the term catering meant. Everybody, however, seems to have a kind or origin story, a tale that evokes that first meeting with a woman who, even in an alleged retirement that involves longer hours than many younger workers, still functions as the city’s unofficial (but widely revered) culinary queen. Blanca Aldaco, current president of Les Dames, recalls a time early in the days of her Sunset Station operation,
Aldaco’s. “We were located close to the RK Group’s headquarters, and I always felt like a kid looking in a window to see how they did business. One time,” she says, “we were doing a big debutante party at Sunset Station, not really knowing what we had gotten ourselves into, and without telling me she sent me her best man at Illusions [the equipment rental arm of the RK Group]. He was like an angel at my side, making all the decisions. I have never forgotten that.” Di-Anna Arias, who has worked with Don Strange, San Antonio’s other legacy caterer, for 30 years, recalls the days when she used to bid against Kowalski for events in a kind of friendly rivalry. “But when I became a Dame, we began to work on charity functions together. We had so much in common, we would travel [even to Hawaii] together, we would talk for hours.” Through Les Dames, they have collaborated eight years on a recurring event for Roy Maas Youth Alternatives. “We [along with Earl Abel’s] do the food, she does all the dishes, glassware …” And she says, “I learned one important thing from her that I do to this day: always write thank you notes.” Dear Rosemary: For all you have done and will continue to do, consider this a long-overdue thank you note.
Rosemary Kowalski RON BECHTOL
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Phil Hardberger KIKO MARTÍNEZ
28 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
t was a hard-fought battle for San Antonio mayor when retired appellate judge Phil Hardberger won the seat in June 2005 during a runoff election with rising political star Julián Castro. Hardberger, who was 70 at the time, was an outsider looking in. But when he did, he knew something had to change. “I didn’t know anything about running a city,” Hardberger, 81, told the San Antonio Current during an interview earlier this month at his Monte Vista home. “But I felt the city needed help.” Only about a year prior to being elected, Hardberger and his wife Linda were enjoying his retirement. He remembers sailing on the Hudson River when he received one of many phone calls from friends urging him to run for mayor. “Being mayor was not something I had even thought about, so I resisted,” Hardberger said. “But enough people called me that it felt like I was being drafted. I also thought I could do a better job.” Once he took his seat on the City Council, Hardberger’s first order of business was to hire a city manager who could take San Antonio to the Promised Land. He found that in Sheryl Sculley. “I felt we really needed professional leadership in the city,” Hardberger said. “Linda said I courted Sheryl more than I did her. It was like winning a girlfriend over.” Two months into his tenure as mayor, Hardberger’s own leadership abilities were quickly tested when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans. Although there was some pushback about welcoming tens of thousands of displaced
citizens into San Antonio, Hardberger stood strong. “They were our fellow Americans, so I really wanted to help them,” Hardberger said. “People were afraid crime was going to rise, but none of that happened. If I’m in a boat and somebody is drowning, I’m going to pull them in.” It was during that time when Hardberger saw how much heart San Antonio possessed. During a trip to a South Side H-E-B where food donations were being made for hurricane victims, he was touched to see the number of people sacrificing for strangers. “It wasn’t the richest part of town by a long shot and you just knew those people were taking food off their own shelves,” Hardberger said. “Seeing that gave me a lot of confidence. I was certain I could be the city’s leader.” Over the next four years, Hardberger proved just that. From his focus on creating more public gathering spaces like new
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“The nice thing about the park is that it appeals to everybody and it will last forever.”
ARTS + CULTURE
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Arthur “Happy” Veltman GENE ELDER
met Arthur “Happy” Veltman in 1971 while I was a waiter at the Kangaroo Court restaurant. We became friends and I started to understand things about the gay world that I was not getting as an art student at Trinity University. In 1973, Hap asked me to be the owner and manager of a gay disco he wanted to open. That is the beginning of how Hap and I, and many Texans who frequented the San Antonio Country, started our path to gay liberation. But being gay was not what made Hap well-liked with those in the San Antonio business community, the art community, with Downtown development, the Conservation Society, or as a successful restaurant owner and partner in real estate ventures. Nope, everyone will tell you that Hap played well with others. And more important, he brought these concerns together with the people he enjoyed and showed how they could work together for a better and profitable future. And he did this before others
parks, the development of Main Plaza, the expansion of the River Walk and events like the Houston Street Festival, which morphed into Luminaria, Hardberger dedicated his time to serving the citizens. No other example could better define the work Hardberger has done for the city than Haven for Hope, an organization that helps the homeless transform their lives. “Other cities are coming to San Antonio to study how we’ve done what we’ve done with [Haven for Hope],” Hardberger said. “Yes, we wanted to give people a place to stay for the night and give them a meal, but we wanted to do a lot more than that. We wanted to give them a chance to make a better life.” Currently, Hardberger, who left the mayor’s office in 2009 with an 86 percent approval rating, is senior counsel at Dykema, a national law firm, and the president of the Phil Hardberger Park Conservancy, which maintains his namesake space. Over the next three years, he hopes to see the final phase of the park come to fruition: A natural bridge that will link both sides of the park, which is currently split by Wurzbach Parkway. “I want to complete that vision,” Hardberger said. “The nice thing about the park is that it appeals to everybody and it will last forever.” Speaking on the legacy he’d like to leave behind, Hardberger wants everyone to know he didn’t accomplish anything on his own. “I’m proud of the things we did when I was mayor,” he said. “The one thing I really learned was that a lot of people who share your dreams will help you accomplish them. I did get a lot done, but I got a lot done with the people of San Antonio.”
understood its importance. Hap still lives in the minds and hearts of those who knew him and this is why Hap was a very, very proud gay man. Hap had genuine concern for the mistreatment of others, and it’s why he wanted to have a really swell place for the gay and lesbian community to hang out. The San Antonio Country was the hottest and best gay club in Texas until 1981 when he sold it to start the Bonham Exchange. The Bonham is now owned by Hap’s longtime partner Kenneth Garrett. Hap died from AIDS in 1988. Hap’s name is associated with buildings on the River Walk that he, along with his various partners – straight business partners – purchased, developed and managed. And, of course, with Bernard Lifshutz, Hap purchased the Blue Star property, which helped turn that part of the river and surrounding area into the popular area we now see. But let me talk about the HAPPY Foundation here, since I am the Archives Director. It began in 1988 and was a request by Happy in his will. The HAPPY Foundation is a GayBLT history archives and came about as we realized that our history was not being saved. Hap became the lighthouse for those who lived in the closet or had few resources. In their own words, here’s how others remember him: “Hap Veltman was on the Board of Directors — and was one of the most active and involved members of the SAGA Board. … He helped guide the evolution of the city’s gay community in achieving visibility and respectability. His guidance, and his connections, were helpful in the early days of AIDS.” — Toby Johnson, co-chair of the San Antonio Gay Alliance “Hap had a vision to revitalize our beautiful Downtown. … I loved his ideas and was totally enamored with his vision and his upbeat attitude. I truly believe he had the insight and the vision way before any city planners really understood what he foresaw.” — Debra Maltz, who started Centro Properties with Hap
“Hap was a visionary. … He was respected in business circles even though he was out at a time when being gay was a mark against you. The Bonham Exchange … was not only the new benchmark for any other club in town, gay or straight, it was an example of clever re-use and restoration of one of the finest buildings in town. It was an honor to know him.” — Chris Hill “Hap was important in the recognition of San Antonio artists. … He invited the dance companies I brought to San Antonio to enjoy the fun at the Bonham after the performance and this made their visit memorable.” — Margaret King Stanley, director for the San Antonio Performing Arts Association “Hap and I bonded over historic buildings. The San Antonio Country was in full swing … when Hap asked me to help with its historic designation. The rambling stone structure was indeed historic, but Hap sold it and never looked back, moving on to the venerable Turnverein that he re-visioned as the Bonham Exchange. … His preservation legacy lives on in historic buildings he helped save.” — Maria Pfieffer Each generation in San Antonio produces creative, forward-thinking visionaries. Hap was one of them. He took his artist friends to dinner because they taught him how to think creatively and how to be a creative businessman. Those who knew Happy know this about him, but those of you who did not know Happy, this would be the lesson and his message for us: to be creative businessmen and women. Happy would also want you to know that he was an out and proud member of our gay community and he openly and joyfully joined any causes against social injustices. Thank you for remembering Happy. He most certainly remembers all of us. CONTINUED ON PAGE 31 ►
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 29
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30 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
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ARTS + CULTURE
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Ivy Taylor MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN
I
vy Taylor surprised San Antonio. She swore she wouldn’t run for mayor. Then she did, unapologetically. And she beat all the odds, too. No one expected the city planner who represented the East Side District 2, who was chosen interim mayor after President Barack Obama appointed former Alamo City mayor Julián Castro to serve as the United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development based on her promise not to seek his position, to best former State Representative Mike Villarreal during the mayoral race. No one expected her to beat out former Texas Senator and onetime candidate for Lt. Governor Leticia Van de Putte, either. But she did, solidifying her legacy as the first African-American mayor of San Antonio, the second woman to hold the position and the only African-American female mayor of a large U.S. city. And when she did it, there was
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little fanfare from Taylor. She was ready to get the work. Looking back to comments from a June 2015 interview with Taylor about her vision going forward is telling, nearly a year later. “It’s kind of interesting because I’m coming in, and I’ve already been here for 10 months. We already have some things we started that are underway,” she said at the time. “I’m not a typical politician who will have some signature thing that’s going to have my name on it and go down in history.” That’s because she takes the non-partisan nature of San Antonio’s mayoral office seriously. And during her tenure, there’s been controversy, but there’s also been success. There’s been one driving factor, a genuine desire to better the city for all residents. During her second State of the City address, Taylor had many more accomplishments to list and to further develop her vision for San Antonio, but one thing was evident: The same driving force behind her attitude after winning such a historic election had not changed. “One of my staff recently shared the story of her late grandfather, a laborer and immigrant named Jose Aleman who worked hard to create opportunities for his children,” Taylor said during the address. “His mantra to his family was simple and powerful. ‘Hay que trabajar,’ there’s work to do, her father would say. Rain or shine, cold or heat, near or far, ‘hay que trabajar’ became the family cry. This statement truly embodies the spirit of San Antonio.” It also sums up the spirit of San Antonio’s first African-American mayor, a badass city planner with a personal story reflected through hard work.
“I’m not a typical politician who will have some signature thing that’s going to have my name on it and go down in history.”
D
own on South Alamo, in the heart of San Antonio arts culture, Mike Casey’s house — built in 1895 — stubbornly pays tribute to the past, near and distant. Like Casey himself, the house is impeccably appointed in an easy-going and natural way, part secret garden, part art gallery, part whimsical living space — all effects of a life lived in wonder, compassion and joy. Like one of his trademark seersucker suits (the man is a style icon), Casey’s house is handsome and impressive in a comfortable, magical and nostalgic kind of way. When I met him there a few weeks back, the house proved the perfect place in which to reflect upon the man’s seriously important and singularly quirky contributions to SA and his lighthearted legacy of embracing art and life. The truth is, a list of facts, though perhaps impressive, would hardly capture the mystical truth of Casey’s value as a maker of SA. Casey was a practicing attorney for many years, an experience that he described as “not unpleasant,” before bringing the conversation back to things dearer to him. He’s served on boards with Blue Star and King William Fair, just to name a couple, and been witness to, and driver of, King William’s boom, ever since he moved into the area in 1972, “before it was cool to do so.” He was a founding member of the King William Yacht Club, which hosts a regatta on the San Antonio River every year on the Fourth of July. He owns the Compound, a set of duplexes on the corner of St. Mary’s and Stieren, that contain Sala Diaz Gallery, Casa Chuck Residence and Issac Maxwell Metal. It is the site of a thriving art community and has been for many
years. As a lover of and patron to the arts, Casey’s contributions and enthusiasm are unparalleled. In speaking about the artistic presence at the Compound, Casey chuckled and said, “I guess in the hands of a better capitalist than myself ... ” and trailed off, staring into the distance with a sly look. A true San Anto original, Casey is the kind of person who seems to live his life as if it’s a work of art in itself. Taking pleasure in gardening, chicken and turkey keeping, bike riding, music, art, literature and the powerful sense of community he has lovingly created around himself, Casey is the kind of man who, full of friendly bluster and gentlemanly JAMES COURTNEY mischief, doesn’t back down from a dare (that’s actually how he ended up with chickens). When I asked him how the hell he maintained such a zest for life, such avid involvements and such a convivial glow, he chuckled that he’d “never really thought about it before” and seemed almost puzzled that anyone wouldn’t be this way. After a few moments though, he offered some wisdom: “People feel too entitled to certain conditions and expectations, that’s usually what makes them upset or bitter. You are the source of your own discontent.” Quoting Bruce Springsteen’s 1978 song “Badlands,” he seemed to sum up his lifestyle in a kind of mantra: “It ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive.”
Mike Casey
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I
s it the decades of political activism – as an abolitionist of the death penalty and one of the most vocal pro-choice country artists – that has made Military City, U.S.A. remain indifferent to one of its most acclaimed artists, Steve Earle? Perhaps it’s the years of running against the wind, railing against fascists in his marbled Southern drawl, attempting rockabilly revivals and writing off-Broadway plays and novels named after Hank Williams songs rather than settling down with a wife (or six) just outside of the city limits – maybe his former home of Schertz – that has kept us, arms folded, from embracing a son of San Antone. Whatever the reason, one of our own is out there in the world, raking the muck, collar turned up against blistering existence, digging, scraping down into the guts of poetry and song and coming up, often, with a handful of gems. Yet, there is no mural, no official Steve Earle Day, no Plata de Esteban at Mi Tierra for the man who never skips a visit to the historic cafe whenever he plays SA,
the songwriter who penned “San Antonio Girl.” Earle, though born in Virginia, contends that as his due date approached a family member was sent to Texas with an empty can of Prince Albert tobacco to fetch some Texas soil, so that his first steps could be in the Lone Star State. The Grammy Award-winning country scribe, the Springsteen of red dirt, who attended O.G. Weiderstein Elementary, O. Henry Junior High and Holmes High School, has since sworn he will never live here again. “I need to walk out my front door and see a mixed-race, same-sex couple holding hands and not being afraid to do it to feel safe at this point in my life.” Although we could claim him for just a little while – Earle’s teenage years of wild troubadourism sent him to Nashville, chasing that neon rainbow, before his 20th birthday – it’d be, perhaps, a sweeter homecoming if we could draw him back into the kind of culture he has fought to achieve through his art, his work and his life.
Steve Earle TRAVIS BUFFKIN | @DTBUFFKIN
“
“Traditionally we’ve been taught to believe that leaders are only men,” said Coach Hammon. “I think that’s why it’s important that little boys and little girls see women as strong and capable.”
E
Becky Hammon M. SOLÍS
ven before she set one foot in San Antonio, Becky Hammon was already a badass. Standing at 5-foot-6, the woman dubbed White Chocolate by her WNBA teammates proved she belonged in the league every time she stepped on the court. Rarely regarded as the quickest guard, Hammon succeeded through her fluid game, stellar court vision and a boundless tenacity cultivated on a concrete slab in South Dakota. Growing up in Rapid City, Hammon was introduced to hoops at a young age by her father Marty, a basketball coach. She could dribble with both hands by the age of five and started playing organized ball at around 8 years old. By the time she reached high school, Hammon’s skills allowed her to claim the team’s starting point guard spot as a sophomore. Although the seclusion of South Dakota kept her off the radar for most
college recruiters, Hammon’s game landed her a spot on the Colorado State roster. She eventually led her team to the Sweet 16 and ended her college career as the top scorer in Western Athletic Conference history. After somehow going undrafted, Hammon joined the WNBA’s New York Liberty, soon becoming one of the faces for the growing league. Hammon steadily improved in the Big Apple, which seemed tailored to her kinetic style on the court. In New York City terms, think Kenny Anderson with a ponytail. In 2007, Hammon arrived in San Antonio via trade where her game flourished, elevating to All-Star levels. Despite finishing second in league MVP voting that season, she was not invited to try out for 2008 U.S Olympic team. For someone who visualized Olympic glory as a child, because the NBA was unattainable, the snub stung.
Undeterred, and already playing professionally in Russia during the off-season, Hammon joined the Russian national team. She led them to a bronze medal in Beijing, fulfilling one of her hoop dreams. On a flight back from the 2012 Olympics in London, where she again represented Russia, Hammon connected with Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, another basketball lifer with an appreciation for Russian culture. Since officially joining the Spurs in 2014, Hammon continues to make history. At All-Star Weekend in Toronto, she fittingly became the first woman to coach in an All-Star Game. As part of the NBA’s recent Lean In campaign promoting gender equality, Hammon summed up her motivation succinctly. “Traditionally, we’ve been taught to believe that leaders are only men,” said Coach Hammon. “I think that’s why it’s important that little boys and little girls see women as strong and capable.”
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ARTS + CULTURE
GAME CHANGING
In its 4th year, the San Antonio Book Festival outdoes itself (again) JAMES COURTNEY
> The San Antonio Book Festival (SABF) is a potent dose of literary illumination, delivered in high concentrate, over a brief (one day) interval. Now in its fourth year, the relatively short festival (which nevertheless drew 16,000 people last year) seems to outdo itself in the number and quality of offerings every year. And this year is certainly no exception. Coming at the onset of National Poetry Month and just a few weeks before the madness of Fiesta, the SABF is an important, growing partner in our city’s rich arts and letters scene. As SABF Executive Director Katy Flato recently told the San Antonio Current, “The reason every great city has a book festival is because communities want to reward curious minds, give their citizens something to engage in, be proud of, to celebrate together.” Flato continued, explaining that the SABF’s creators believe that “[they] bring more than writers and books to the table, [but also] offer stimulating conversations that continue way beyond the day.” Here are four events for bibliophiles that we’re most obsessed with at the moment. All events are followed by book signings. For a full schedule, visit saplf.org/festival.
1.
Learn How to Steal like an Artist with Austin Kleon It is often considered dubious territory for a person to tell others how to be creative. That said, the great mysteries of the creative process notwithstanding, Austin-based, Ohio-born writer and illustrator Austin Kleon, seems to have figured out the secret to making his talks and writings on fostering creativity both supremely useful and mercifully devoid of arty huckster ham-handedness. Kleon’s SABF talk will focus on his 2012 New York Times Best Seller Steal Like an Artist: Ten Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative. In
3.
this work, and in his associated talks (dude has spoken at places like Google and Pixar), Kleon encourages creativity through smart routines, exercises and confidence building. Kleon is a new kind of creative mentor for the digital age. 10am, The Studio, McAllister Building, Southwest School of Art, austinkleon.com.
2.
Dave Hickey Talks about His Essays on Women in Art Dave Hickey is a real son of a bitch. The oft-maligned, frequently crass and consistently thought-provoking art critic and historian is a damn genius (seriously, homie won a MacArthur Fellowship in 2001). He’s also a cantankerous old dude, even way before he reached his silver years (he’s now 75). In his persistent railing against the art and art criticism establishments, he’s advocated, among other more technical positions, for a return to art as a pleasurable experience of beauty. And, especially relevant because his SABF talk centers on his recent book of essays on female artists (25 Women: Essays on Their Art), he’s been called out by feminist critics for that advocacy, on the grounds that it represents a desire to return to a time when the male gaze defined feminine beauty and a mostly white male art elite dictated the guidelines of artistic merit from on high. 11am, Rogers Hall, Santikos Building, Southwest School of Art (1st Floor).
3.
Gregg Barrios’ Play I-DJ: a Performance and Conversation In a first for the SABF, this year’s event will see the performance of a piece from a play. The play, by renowned journalist, poet and playwright Gregg Barrios (an elected board member on the National Book Critics Circle),
4.
EDWARD PAGAN
2.
BRYAN RINDFUSS
1.
is called I-DJ and it has recently been published in book form, after debuting at The Overtime Theater and being performed at NYC’s prestigious FRIGID Film Festival. I-DJ is about a gay Latino DJ named Amado Guerrero Paz (aka Warren Peace) struggling with identity issues and diving head first into the LA club scene and the music that fuels it. The play functions as a casual historical document that celebrates two important institutions: Los Angeles’ The Odyssey nightclub and Santa Monica-based A&M Records. It’s a mind-blowing, postmodern melding of ’70s Chicano politics with AIDS-era club culture, inspired in vibrant flashes by Hamlet, A Chorus Line, and what Barrios calls “the dance culture of the plague years.” After the performance, there will be a conversation with Barrios and the actors. 11:15am, Festival Room (First Floor of Central Library behind computer stations).
4.
Actor and Writer Sonia Manzano on Becoming Maria In further proof that the SABF is not only about celebrating books, Sonia Manzano, widely known as the beloved character Maria on Sesame Street, will deliver a talk on her memoir (OK, OK, so there is a book involved) called Becoming Maria: Love and Chaos in the South Bronx. Manzano is no stranger to writing, however, having written (and received 15 Emmys for) television scripts, kid books and San Antonio Book Festival young adult literature. Manzano, who has been Free the recipient of the Congressional Hispanic 10am-5pm Sat, Apr. 2 Caucus Award and the Hispanic Heritage San Antonio Central Library (600 Soledad St.) Award for Education, will speak about her book Southwest School of Art in a session moderated by Carmen Tafolla. (300 Augusta St.) 4:15pm, West Terrace (third floor of Central (210) 225-4728 saplf.org/festival Library), soniamanzano.com. sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 35
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SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS
FREE MOVIE NIGHT MARCH 31 AT 7 PM At Bijou
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I SAW THE LIGHT
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SCREENS
REBEL WITH A CAUSE
Inaugural Straight-Jacket Guerrilla Film Festival looks to break Hollywood conventions KIKO MARTÍNEZ
•
“Dang ol’ penis monsters, again?! ”
•A still from Trey Lane’s Infinity Girls.
After running out of her medication, a young woman begins to have hallucinations of Third Reich soldiers, Charles Manson and someone wearing a creepy rabbit mask inside her apartment building. With the help of an Irish Catholic priest who learns of a Transylvanian curse during WWII that allows vampire Nazis to summon a goddess to help them win the war, the volatile woman realizes her freakish visions may be real after all. Such is the extremely bizarre plot of Evil Easter 3: The Final Easter, one of 29 experimental and low-budget feature films and music videos that will be available exclusively online for the first-ever Straight Jacket Guerrilla Film Festival. The online festival is curated by San Antonio video artist/music video director Laura Grace Robles and U.K.-based underground filmmaker Fabrizio Federico. From April 1-7, visitors to the festival's website will be able to screen what Robles refers to as “unhealthy films, junk films, anti-art art films, counterfeit films, acid films, propaganda media and punk cinema.” The StraightJacket Guerrilla Film Festival is something Robles said she wanted to create to support avant-garde filmmakers worldwide who are not given the chance to screen their projects in the regular film festival circuit. Over 100 films and music videos were submitted this year for consideration from all over the U.S. and from countries like Germany, Scotland, Canada and Brazil. “We are out to destroy Hollywood in a way,” said
Robles, who will also be screening the seventh film of interesting ideas I think Hollywood wouldn’t be able to her “fake mockumentary” series, Nigga Booty Nights. do. They’re just too out there.” “It’s kind of like we’re going against the norm. We’re Dark Prism, a 2015 absurdist satire/horror movie by interested in films that test the limits and boundaries of New York City-based filmmaker Dylan Greenberg, might the filmmaking standard.” be one of those films. It features penis monsters. It’s “institutionalized cinema” that Robles and Federico “I definitely do not have a conventional style of are rebelling against. This includes what she considers filmmaking,” said Greenberg. “I don’t use scripts and I trivial steps taken to complete the typical filmmaking let people involved improvise and contribute ideas. My process like scriptwriting, obtaining official permits and films have a sort of what-the-fuck quality to them, which I worrying about copyright laws. suppose is cool.” “We’re interested in films that are totally against Filmmaker Trey Lane from lower Alabama submitted his the institution,” Robles says. “It doesn’t matter where first feature Infinity Girls to the festival and was accepted. you get your footage if you make it your own. We’re He describes his film as a “sci-fi-puzzle-box-mind-fuck.” blending film and art together that way it becomes “I think a festival like [Straight Jacket] focuses on the more of a hybrid approach to filmmaking as opposed to process of making films without the driving impetus of something that keeps your imagination controlled the making something commercial,” said Lane. “It’s more whole time. With spontaneous filmmaking, a different about creating the art than creating a product.” kind of magic happens.” Although Lane admits he does have a great Montreal-based guerrilla filmmaker Jean Bernard appreciation for the superhero movies coming out of hopes he has captured a little of that magic in his new Hollywood today, the fact they are taking over mainstream film X-Drama, which will screen as part of the festival. media will mean fans of cinema are going to want Bernard is the founder of the Montreal Guerrilla something on the other end of the spectrum. Film Festival. “I think there will be a hunger for films that are Straight-Jacket “There is an unfiltered quality that all guerrilla Guerrilla Film a lot freer,” Lane added. “I think in mass there Festival films have,” said Bernard. “They don’t have has been a reaction against Hollywood movies. Free to go through things like test audiences and [Guerrilla films] are absolutely more interesting April 1-7 producers with their own agendas. There are to me than a thousand people working on straightjacketguerrillafilmfestival.com some guerrilla films I’ve seen with some very something that cost half a billion dollars.” sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 39
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FOOD
DAVID RANGEL
WHAT’S IN A NAME? Grayze nails casual and tasty on Grayson
RON BECHTOL
First, the name: love it. Just the right degree of clever. The menu tries for some of the same and occasionally scores as well. Take the Cheeks n Buns, in which the name and the product come together perfectly in the form of just greasy enough barbacoa cradled in a sturdy slider bun with cilantro ginger slaw and kewpie mayo for crunchy/tangy contrast. At happy hour, one of these puppies is three bucks. Run, don’t walk. The Chicky Licky isn’t quite as successful as a name — and neither is the sandwich. It can be had as a full-size banh mi or, again, during happy hour (and on the lunch special), as a slider with confit chicken and mixed herbs. I’ve had it both ways, and don’t get me wrong — it’s a good sammie. But having been seduced by the “confit” aspect of the chicken, I expected a tad more. Admittedly, I often expect more. Continuing with the name thing, let’s next arbitrarily pick the Caulicious. This plate turns out to be reasonably straightforward roasted cauliflower with a nutty, tahini vinaigrette, and it successfully delivers just what it says it will. As for The Harvest salad (they seem to have run out of cleverness when naming this one), it may deliver more than it needs to. There are red and golden beets, chewy barley and farro (the distinction between the two is lost in context), shaved, raw asparagus and pretty crunchy green beans, dabs of creamy ricotta, a few almonds and a vinaigrette in which the advertised preserved lemon doesn’t quite come through. Top all this with a few greens and there’s just a little too much going on — especially for a menu on which all the food offerings are simply labeled “Grub.” Time out: Can we just have a moratorium on manipulated mac and cheese? Grayze’s take is simply called “The Mac,” and with its four cheeses, caramelized onion and topping of pickled chiles, it’s decidedly wicked and probably better than many. But enough, already. As
•Cute names, serious food at Grayze it’s un-American to knock burgers, I won’t presume to diss the Grayze Burger. It, too, is better than many with a dense, properly cooked patty topped by “freedom cheese” and “garden fixings” that include zucchini. A fried egg is only a buck extra and worth it. But if you’re going to go with the burger over less mainstream choices such as the Fiery Red Head (a blackened redfish po’boy), then you must have the fries, here called Ma Frittes. In fact, you should have the fries no matter what you order, they’re that good — and only $4 at happy hour, FYI. That perfect pairing of crisp, peppery exterior with almostcreamy interior is only enhanced by especially good “grayze” ketchup and garlicky aioli. At this writing, and here we go again with the names, there were only two dishes that might be normally called mains or big plates — the Kiss My Grits (shrimp, tasso, pickled mustard greens) and the Porkshank Redemption. On the evidence of the pork, braised in white balsamic with fig, this is a category that deserves to be developed further. (Lamb shank was the dish’s first iteration.) White
polenta made especially creamy with mascarpone served as a bed for the lush pork mantled with the braising reduction, and some arugula and baby nasturtium leaves were scattered about. There was mention of salsa verde on the menu, but it wasn’t really detectable — or even necessary, for that matter. The Grub side of the menu is under the charge of Pedro Cuellar, formerly of Arcade at Pearl; we hope to see some more-ambitious dishes as the kitchen matures. The Sippin’ side, on which all names are, alas, conventional, is the responsibility of James Moore of TBA where a new drinks menu has recently debuted, possibly suggesting some future cross-pollination. Cocktails on the current list at Grayze are limited, but creations such as the Date Night with bourbon and date simple syrup, and the Grayze BLVD with both Cherry Heering and Fernet added to the normal rye and vermouth, have been well-executed. A good selection of sparkling wines should come in handy on the covered rear patio come spring — now, in other words. Dogs welcome, too.
Grayze on Grayson 521 E. Grayson St., (210) 481-8776, grayzeongrayson.com The Skinny: Grayze sports a menu of tweaked global favorites from luxed-up mac and cheese to banh mi sandwiches and tony shrimp and grits Best bets: Ma Frittes, Cheeks ‘n’ Buns, Porkshank Redemption Hours: 11am-9pm Mon-Wed; 11am-10pm Thu-Sat; 10am-3pm Sun Cost: $6-$18
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FLAVOR FILE
County Line Concert Series Returns, The Granary Hosts Doughnut Social and More JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS
•
Band of Heathens and brisket are a great combo.
Spring has officially sprung, which means The County Line’s “Ancira Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram 2016 Live Music Series” (that’s a mouthful), kicks off April 7. Now held on Thursday evenings, the concert series at 10101 I-10 W. between Wurzbach and Huebner Road will feature sounds by Shane Smith & The Saints, James McMurty, The Statesboro Revue, Prophets & Outlaws, Sam Riggs, Mike Ryan Band, The Damn Quails, Band of Heathens and others. Set every Thursday through September 30, the series will also expand with full seating and dining on the patio through 9:30 p.m. and happy hour both inside and outside the restaurant from 3 to 9:30 p.m. on concert days. Since its debut the series has raised almost a million pounds of food for the San Antonio Food Bank, so don’t forget to donate canned goods and other perishables or make a monetary donation while there. Call (210) 641-1998 for details. The Granary ‘Cue & Brew (602 Avenue A, 210-228-0124) will team up with chef Christopher Jara and The Down Market for a Doughnut Social on Sunday, April 3 at 1 p.m. Jara, whose dish won last year’s Hot Wells Harvest Feast, will pair The Granary’s house brews with fresh-fried donuts including a blueberry lemon doughnut with lavender glaze, an orange basil doughnut, a miso-sesame doughnut and a smoked maple doughnut with brisket. Tickets to the event are first-come, first-served and $20 per person. Fans of Rebelle (300 E. Travis St., 210-352-3171) will kick off Sunday brunch service on April 10 from 10:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Considering the line that forms outside Rebelle’s sister restaurant, Feast, on Sunday mornings, it’s safe to say you should get there early. Reservations can be made through opentable.com — make sure to note a preference for patio seating. It’s basically one of the best views in the city.
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44 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
Finally, Boiler House Texas Grill & Wine Garden (312 Pearl Pkwy., Building 3, 210-354-4644) launched its spring menu with new Tastes (yellowtail aguachile, Virginia ham carpaccio and char-grilled octopus); Boiler Plates (oxtail gnocchi, seared dry boat scallops, braised pork shank) and new Market Sides (peeled asparagus, beurre monte, poached egg and farro with pine nuts, smoked yogurt, goat cheese mousse and baby carrots). The eatery will also launch a new collaboration series on April 7 at 6 p.m. as chef Jeff White welcomes James Moore of Grayze for a night of Southern-inspired courses and alcohol pairings. Tickets for the dinner are $125. flavor@sacurrent.com
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NIGHTLIFE
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WEST SIDE STORIES Cupples Sports Bar plays host to Lerma’s conjunto lovers
MARISELA BARRERA
Generations before San Antonio was “a city on the rise,” it was a Chicano city. It still is. And our Chicano heart lies in the West Side. The West Side is home to three universities (UTSA, OLLU and Saint Mary’s), two cultural arts organizations (the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center and San Anto Cultural Arts) and chingos of restaurants where I can still find a $4.95 breakfast plate of huevos rancheros, coffee included. I can also find a $2 domestic beer and live conjunto music. I heart the West Side. And you do not have to wait for the Guadalupe Cultural Art Center’s Conjunto Festival in May to get your conjunto on. The West Side’s Cupples Sports Bar, •Conjunto lives on Cupples Street across from the cemetery, offers live conjunto music year-round every Friday and Saturday on at Cupples. from 8 p.m. to midnight. Conjunto is San Antonio’s roots music. You should across from Cupples Sports Bar. know this. Think Piñata Protest without the punk. (Wait. This particular Saturday night I wore my Vans instead of You don’t want to do that. Piñata Protest is puro San my botas and had $10 in my pocket. Cupples takes cash Antonio.) Think tejano music without synthesizers. Puro only, no debit or credit cards. You won’t be breaking the button accordion and bajo sexto. Botas dancing in a big bank, either — Mexican imports and wine coolers are $3, circle, cheek to cheek. Umpa Umpa ay ay ay. Czech and domestics come in at $2 and you can take it easy with German and Mexican and American: the music of San chips and a soda for $1. Antonio’s mestizo blood. I was prepared. If someone asked me to dance, I could When Lerma’s, a West Side conjunto institution, was say no and blame it on the shoes. I love to dance. Ask forced to close in July 2010, regulars looked for another me to dance. But this night was reserved to observe the place in the neighborhood to dance. onda that is Cupples Sports Bar. I wanted to hear some “These couples were regulars at Lerma’s,” says Raul way-back-when stories. Perez, owner of Cupples Sports Bar who took ownership A live conjunto band, El Conjunto de Larry Garcia, was of the bar eight years ago. “I started with the live playing when I entered. No cover. Also, nowhere to sit. I conjunto, and they started coming.” could tell that all the empty seats at the bar were taken “Who plays here now?” I ask. by people who were dancing. If you go, watch out for “Pues. Los Trovadores. The Moon Dogs. Conjunto that. Still-cold wine coolers lined the bar. Fortunately, at Cruz. Henry Zimmerle. These are experienced players,” Cupples, the gente are old school. he answers. The place makes me feel like I am the youngest one According to Perez, Cupples first opened in 1952 as around, and I am not a millennial. Cupples Drive Inn. “Here, take my seat,” a viejito wearing a smooth hat and “They had picnic tables outside. It was a place for Stacy Adams shoes insisted. neighbors to get together after work. Back when Kelly I felt like a nerd with my red Moleskine diary in my hand, was open, workers hung out here after their shift. I hear so I sat on it between my note-taking. lots of stories of back when,” he explains. “Quieres bailar?” The same viejito who gave up his I arrived solita-alone at Cupples on a recent Saturday seat now asked me to dance. night; I had been to Cupples twice before on dancing I point to my Vans: “No tengo mi dancing botas.” I love dates. (A dancing date means I have my dancing botas on. a place where I can code-switch from Spanish to English, There is live music. I expect you to dance. Punto.) especially with a $2 Bud in my hand. The short drive to Cupples from downtown A back-when story came to me quick. The viejito San Antonio along Guadalupe Street took me past a few of my favorite places: the Guadalupe Cupples Sports Bar started talking: “Back when I was a kid,” he said, 334 Cupples Road “my father would bring me here for a Big Red and a Theater, Ray’s Drive Inn and La Fiesta. No (210) 781-7103 bag of Frito’s. It was a friendly place. Still is.” te asustes: San Fernando Cemetery is right Closed Mon and Tu
Perez agreed: “Cupples is friendly.” I got a sense of that. People look out for each other, respect each other. Cupples: Not a place for your Tinder meet-ups or your Android Pay. Cash only. Go with a dance partner — you’ll want to dance. sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 47
Check out the full list of events-at SanAntonioBeerWeek.com 48 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
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At 30, I’m nearing the end of my key demographic phase. I’m not 21, which means I don’t mind paying more than $3.50 for a well drink, but my wallet can’t keep up an $11 cocktail habit. But with the opening of Paper Tiger last March, I’ve already been inside its walls five more times than I was ever in the White Rabbit, and that’s because the venue has essentially tried tapping every demographic that makes its way onto the St. Mary’s Strip. Those developments didn’t happen overnight. Paper Tiger amped up the variety in early 2016 hosting a Pecha Kucha event, which introduced the addition of Cullum’s Attaboy food truck to the compound, and later began hosting weekly crawfish boils with Where Y’at once the season started. And now there’s Rumble. I hesitate to fangirl and call it the pièce de résistance because the bar’s been open all of six days as of press time, but it’s close. The joint effort of Empty Stomach (all the dudes behind Barbaro, Hot Joy), and Boulevardier Group (The Brooklynite, et. al.), Rumble took long enough to open with rumblings of the bar’s opening being heard as far back as last summer. Construction woes aside, the joint
adds cocktails to the corner of Ashby and St. Mary’s, inside a ridiculously chill space. Covered in dizzying tiles (cross your eyes after too many frozen drinks and see what happens) and a demure black and minty/jade-ish hue, Rumble is bound to turn into a hang out whether you’re starting the night there before a show, or shimmying over for a night cap after crawling your way down the Strip. Beverages ($7), which steer into patio pounder territory, were created by Steven Martín. This makes sense since Paper Tiger is essentially 50 percent outdoor space. Frozen daiquiri machines — two currently, but there are more on the way — aren’t to be taken lightly. The resulting cocktails, such as the Bahia Lust with cachaca and guava and San Anto-influenced Some Great Reward with mango and chamoy, are boozy. There’s a fine beer list with local brews, too, for the beer-hounds and once again, nothing’s more than $7. If you needed yet another reason to visit the St. Mary’s Strip, Rumble could be it. If you’re a twirly 21-yearold or studded-jacket aficionado, you might find your way onto Paper Tiger’s latest addition, whether you’re a fan of cocktails or not. flavor@sacurrent.com
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Thursday, March 31st Transmission Events Presents
LEE FIELDS & THE EXPRESSIONS
Blacknail and the radical possibilities of chance
GABBY MATA
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ADVANCE TIX - PAPERTIGERSA.COM 52 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
Following a practice that was poignantly lit by the evening’s electrical storm — casting bright flashes, God’s strobe light, across a room riddled with the stabs and blows of Justin Boyd’s envelopes, filters and oscillators reacting to the triggers fastened to Matt Roy’s four-piece kit, we retire to the living room of Boyd’s Southtown home, decorated with numerous art pieces, a kilim rug (pronounced “kill ’em,” clearly the most metal of all floor décor) an impressive stereo system and Remy, Boyd and wife Melody’s poodle-Maltese mix. I am offered a glass of Cótes de Tablas Rhone blend, of which Boyd also partakes, Roy preferring several fingers of bourbon garnished only by a singular, perfectly circular ice ball. We begin a discussion on the origins of the drum and modular synthesizer duo. Roy, a math professor at the Alamo Colleges, is perhaps best known musically as the former drummer and owner of a 19-piece kit in The Spark, one of SA’s latter day start-stop noise outfits. Boyd, the chair of Sculpture and Integrated Media at the Southwest School of Art, has his art prominently displayed throughout San Antonio, including a permanent
sound installation at Yanaguana Gardens in Hemisfair Park. In reference to the formation of the two-piece Boyd explains, “It was kind of complicated, but it was mostly oscillators. So, essentially, when Matt’s drum triggers come in they’re routed, usually there’s two possible routes from each drum trigger. Like, you can do an envelope or an actual trigger, like gate signal, so it’s like on-off, onoff … so I thought, ‘Wow, that’d be cool if Matt could just be the engine and then just route it a lot of different ways.’” The analog modular synthesizer of which Boyd speaks is a Frankenstein-looking box with neon-colored wires running toand-fro. In terms that people who don’t worship at the altar of Robert Moog may understand, contact mics clipped to Roy’s drums send signals to this big box, Boyd then tweaks a bunch of knobs, reacting to Roy’s rhythms and beats; from jazzy hip-hop to driving metal or breakbeat punk, the reactions of the signal are manipulated in timbre, frequency, pitch and pulse by Boyd — a man monitoring a machine monitoring a man. If Roy plays a tom-filled gallop (think Sabbath’s Bill Ward or
the Melvins) or a stuttery hiphop beat a lá Outkast’s earlier material, Boyd manipulates the box’s reaction, highlighting the heavy brutality or bass-driven thump funkiness. In this way, there is really no genre in which to place the duo. “The thing that I think is most fun about it is neither Matt or I have an ego about what this thing is supposed to sound like,” Boyd says of the group that frequently invites one other musician into the fore for live shows. “I don’t even know what the hell I’m thinking would be a frame of reference for this,” adds Roy. “I think what’s fun is there’s no song structure whatsoever. [At] no show have we ever played the same thing.” “Because the set up is temperamental, it will never give us the same sound again, technically,” Boyd says. This makes for infinite possibilities, something that Boyd and Roy, being an accomplished artist and mathematician, respectively, value and champion in their hip-hop, metal, punk, electronic, analog noise band: The radical possibilities of chance. dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com
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MUSIC
JAIME MONZON
MAKING MUSIC IN THE MARGINS
•
Deer Vibes' Courtney Sanchez keeping time.
MELANIE ROBINSON
I swear this isn’t about female indie musicians > Before her passing in 2012, famed essayist, screenwriter and director Nora Ephron itemized what she would not miss when she died. The list included bras, bad dinners, email and panels on “Women In Film.” Creator of HBO’s Girls and Ephron’s mentee, Lena Dunham, recently reflected on a conversation with Ephron about gender inequality in “female films.” Ephron told Dunham, “We don’t want to talk about it, but it’s our job to talk about it until there’s nothing left to say.” There lies the dichotomy at hand, folks — to discuss the additional X chromosome or not to discuss the X chromosome? Is the qualifier “female” inherently segmenting? Is the annoying rhetoric surrounding its use justified? Is there anything left to say? I have written about some dumb, insignificant shit in my day. I’ve enthusiastically reported on mundane goings-on. I’ve made pageants of tedious interviews, but I have never received anything near the unprecedented amount of questioning and doubt in regards to the necessity, angle and treatment of this “female musician” piece … to the point of physical exhaustion approaching surrender. Naturally, I wrote the story anyway. Out of the kindness of my heart and for the sake of brevity, I will spare you the prejudicial history of women in rock and indie music in exchange that you, dearest reader, not consider this work “whiny.” I will not elaborate in depth about the interlocking systems of dominance that define our reality; what bell hooks calls “white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.” I trust that you
understand and support the equal treatment of women, considering you are reading this and not a Donald Trump leaflet. I will, however, give voice to the dames of the Alamo City — the chicks driving major change in our city’s musical landscape — and touch on some things I found interesting. All right. Let’s beat the dead horse, shall we? > “Hey Melanie, thanks for thinking of me, but I’m going to pass. I make a point not to do ‘female musician’ stories as much as I can. I’ll do ‘musician stories,’ though :) > In my experience so far, putting the female lens over the story doesn’t do much more than further silo us.”
▲ An email from a ‘female musician’ in response to an interview request for this story.
Leading Ladies > The Countdown City has a history of producing some bomb-ass female music advocates, from musicians (most notably, Girl in a Coma) to the hardworking belles of media and marketing. Jeannette Muniz and DJ Mighty Iris are on the forefront of the alternative radio station game at 91.7 KRTU and 103.3 The App, respectively. Muniz is the DJ/host of “Live and Local” on KRTU, Cultural Ambassador for
SXSW Choose SA and a member of the Artistic Advisory Committee for Luminaria. Iris DJs regularly at the femaleowned Bang Bang Bar and has pushed 103.3 to include more local indie coverage and spearheaded the station’s Alamo Lounge Sessions. Kim Johnson and Libby Day currently hold down Do210, arguably the city’s largest event-discovery and marketing platform. They have been killing promotion and booking since their days at SATX music and have consistently pushed to make things happen in a city that’s struggled to stay musically competitive. “We have been seeing more and more female bands pop up in the last few years,” said former Girl in a Coma (GIAC) bassist, current FEA bassist and Bang Bang Bar Owner, Jenn Alva. “I can’t really say if it had anything to do with GIAC / FEA completely, but I am sure it didn’t hurt, either.” Whether GIAC can be credited with the ripple effect, SA’s levels of estrogen on stage may, indeed, be rising. FEA, Octahedron, Sugar Skulls, Deer Vibes, Verisimilitude, Femina-X and The Foreign Arm are just a few examples. Stages are Pedestals with Better Lighting > “I don’t expect anyone to listen to my music because I’m female. I would like them to listen because they connect with what I’m saying and how I’m saying it,” noted local vocalist and guitarist, Bekah Kelso. “Music transcends gender.” CONTINUED ON PAGE 59 ►
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 57
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◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 57
•Octahedron's Elena Lopez leading the lads.
Ah — but does it, though? Indie music is a place up high and out loud — you are affected by appealing aesthetics and higher octaves, and you respond accordingly. Marketing is banking on audiences wanting to see approachably talented hipster ingénues with delicate voices and gently attractive features. Strip away the melodic nuances and music is a product that is bought, promoted and sold. “We sell music with sexy thin singers that we Auto-Tune and overproduce the crap out of,” lamented SA’s crooner-inresidence, Alyson Alonzo. “It’s like junk food for your ears — all these sounds and no substance. Yeah, I love cotton candy but I’m not going to eat that shit everyday.” The Windish Agency, one of the foremost alternative music booking agencies, boasts about 650 artists on its roster. Only 25 percent of those are female. The majority of those are solo singing acts or Sylvan Esso-esque pairings of whispering female vocals with a male electronic beat-maker. Slim, dark hair, floppy hat and cut-off tank … with characters this stock I could draft an ironic Portlandia skit in a matter of minutes. There was a bit of hubbub around this time last year concerning the lack of a female presence on the bill for major festivals. Almost-naked images of festival posters sans male artists made their rounds across the Internet to the shock of some and the eye rolls of others. Coachella’s 2015 lineup was reported to be 13.5 percent female. Bonnaroo was at 23 percent and Lollapalooza, a whopping (sarcasm) 25 percent.
Paralleling local disparity: Do Something Good Fest, September 2015 was 13 percent female; a 3.5-month sample of Paper Tiger shows ended up at 23 percent female; and at the Aztec Theatre, also considering a 3.5-month sample, the acts were just 4 percent female. It’s Hard Out Here for a Belladonna > Contextually speaking, I’ve never been one to rock a yonic tee and I didn’t really listen to “angry girl music of the indie rock persuasion” as a wee lass. I did mistakenly learn Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” upside down on my left-handed brother’s baby blue Fender (my parents didn’t want their baby girl to shred). I am in an all-female band now, and I do love Warpaint and Courtney Barnett. Being a woman has affected my frame of reference and my music in inescapable ways, even when I didn’t want it to. To all the marginalized people echoing a similar stutter-stepping sentiment about your perspective, I leave you with some words of wisdom from Björk. In a 2015 interview with the legendary rock critic Jessica Hopper, the Icelandic chanteuse spoke of the difficulties in being respected and credited in the industry. “Yeah, I didn’t want to talk about that kind of thing for 10 years, but then I thought, ‘You’re a coward if you don’t stand up’ … I want to support young girls who are in their 20s now and tell them, ‘You’re not just imagining things. It’s tough.’” For the full article visit sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 59
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MUSIC
THU
31
Lee Fields and the Expressions
Most of the soul aficionados of the late '60s are now a figment of the past: James Brown, Otis Redding and Sam & Dave have all come and gone, but some have withstood the test of time, including Lee Fields. His 43-year career has spanned over 12 different record labels, with a multitude of releases and tours that brought together a plethora of funk and soul legends, including O.V. Wright, Sammy Gordon and Kool and the Gang. Now, with his backing band the Expressions, Fields’ catalogue is a tapestry that ranges from cathartic lo-fi R&B, slow-burner blues, bedroom-eyes soul and raucous get-down funk. And his voice excels with range, channeling Otis Redding’s emotive pains, Bobby Womack’s sanguine warmth and James Brown’s intensity. It could be easy to call them pastiche, best suited next to the bygone vinyl of Sam Cooke or Al Green, but that would be an inaccuracy just as much as an injustice. From their albums My World, Faithful Man and Emma Jean, Lee Fields — even with his new band — isn’t necessarily a throwback. He’s always been making this kind of music, but folks are finally beginning to listen. With Kirk Thurmond & The Millennials. $15, 6pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersa.com –Alejandra Ramirez
Wednesday, March 30
The Freeze With The Unseen covering
"Talking Bombs" on their last Hellcat Records release and a slot on the soundtrack to 2007 punk doc American Hardcore, Boston punks The Freeze are seeing a renewed interest in their 32-year career. The Korova, 7:30pm
Lipbone Redding With a superhuman
ability to imitate trumpets and a variety of other jazzy instruments, Lipbone Redding's alt-country music is also super chillax, totally avoiding novelty. Sam's Burger Joint, 7:30pm
Propaganda DJ Ely Bat releases the bats, spinning right round, baby, right round classic punk, no-wave, goth, industrial and new wave, from the Birthday Party to Crass to Lydia Lunch. The Mix, 10pm
Thursday, March 31
#Death2Genres See if DJ Kaos really
fulfills his promise to destroy genres by mashing up Supertramp and Ornette Coleman (or something similar), or if it's just another hash-tagged ploy for attendance. Web House, 10pm
Album Happy Hour: A Tribe Called Quest Hits, Rarities and Remixes
Raise a glass and then pour it out for Phife Dawg, one-third of the legendary hip-hop duo, who passed away last week. The Mix, 6pm
Pageantry, RMRS, Levees Denton's
Pageantry and SA's RMRS weave ethereal soundscapes, fearing no genre and conquering many, but always staying
close to the roots of poppy, emotional indie. If A&R guys still existed and they were to catch Levees on the day that the competition signed the next Alabama Shakes, the group might be rocketing up the charts faster than you can say "But I don't even like the Alabama Shakes." With The Continuums. Limelight, 9pm
San Antonio Symphony: Il Trovatore Legendary Metropolitan Opera mezzo-soprano Dolora Zajick leads an outstanding cast of American singers in this concert performance of Verdi's famous opera. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm
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Skulla & Los Grillos, Lloronas What
goes better with vegan black bean empanadas than meaty Latin rock 'n' roll? If you figure it out, let us know. With Simplemente Cleofas. The Mix, 10pm
Toby Mac’s Hits Deep Tour 2016 Imagine if Robin Thicke and Jason Derulo had a baby who was hardcore into Jesus (despite having two daddies) and sang irritating little ditties to faux hip-hop beats. AT&T Center, 7pm
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Friday, April 1
David Lindley The historic "maxi-
instrumentalist" exhibits why his record credits read like a who's who of country, pop and rock royalty, including Jackson Browne, Dolly Parton and Curtis Mayfield. Sam's Burger Joint, 8pm
Flux Pavilion Inspired by Prodigy and
Rusko, British DJ/Producer Joshua Steele challenges the stereotype of DJs as
14492 Old Bandera Rd Helotes, TX (210)695-8827
For tickets: liveatfloores.com
sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 61
MUSIC
vacuous, musically inept button-pushers. Club Rio, 10pm
Haunter SA's own black metal ensemble Haunter has their sights set on bigger and darker horizons, wrapping up three EPs in less than two years and scheduling tours that will take them through the socialist tundra of Canada within the year. With Cursus, Nio and Dreadnought. Bottom Bracket Social Club, 9pm
Montgomery Gentry With hits "Where
I Come From" and "My Town," Montgomery Gentry reinforce the urban vs. rural dichotomy that has divided the U.S. like the Mason-Dixon and country from the rest of popular music for decades. Cowboys Dancehall, 7pm
Parallelephants Cassette Release The
best-dressed band in town with wellcrafted indie-disco tunes aplenty release their cassette version of Composition Fantastic. Jack's Patio Bar, 8pm
Peelander Z Cartoons and punk rock go
three-fingered hand in tattooed hand with these Nipponese party punkers who put on one of the rowdiest shows this side of Gwar. 502 Bar, 9pm
Sadistik Seattle's "cigarette burn rap king" reclaims the city (and white boy rap) from PG-13 hip-hopper Macklemore. With Upgrade, Early Adopted and Chisme. Limelight, 9pm
Saturday, April 2
Condemned 84 Snap on your braces and
lace up your Docs for the legendary oi band. With Oxblood, Patriot, Immoral Discipline, 99 Bottles, Antagonizers, Steel Toe Solution and more. The Rock Box, 5pm
Hippie Sabotage Mastering the remix,
Hippie Sabotage make a case for the post-modern "art" of changing other artist's sampled tunes into their own. With Alex Wiley. The Korova, 7pm
Mothership, Court Jesters and The Krayolas The Led Zep tribute band
headlines alongside two SA classics. Don't miss the Springsteen-approved
Krayolas in this, their first concert in a bit. Sam's Burger Joint, 6pm
Stomp Who knew banging on trash
cans, sweeping up refuse and folding newspaper could be so musical? Majestic Theatre, 3 & 8pm
Sunshine Jones The San Fran "house
legend" spins a set in SA. With Gabe Garza, DJ Chacho and Old Man Pearce. Paper Tiger, 9pm
The Jazz Poets of San Antonio present “Radio Aztlan” A satirical radio show/
podcast performed as live teatro, the Jazz Poets of San Antonio's “Radio Aztlán” delve into the world of the “barriocosm” in a spoof of NPR’s “Prairie Home Companion.” Urban-15, 8pm
Sunday, April 3
In-Store Seminar with Sunshine Jones
Take a lesson and receive some pointers from the acclaimed DJ. Southtown Vinyl, Noon
Monday, April 4
“Broadway Nights” Roll through a rousing rendition of "Wouldn't It Be Loverly," "The Surrey with the Fringe On the Top" or "16 Going on 17" with other showtunes devotees. St. Anthony Hotel, 5:45pm
Musical Icons: Playing It Forward Elvis,
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Loretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline impersonators pay tribute to slain U.S. soldiers through the America's Mighty Warriors Foundation. Carver Community Cultural Center, 7pm
Set It Off N'Sync meets Imagine Dragons
for Set It Off's inspirational take on pop rock. With Waterparks, Just a Dream and Slowlikefire. The Korova, 6pm
Tuesday, April 5
Serge & Destroy Spinning all vinyl punk,
noise and rawk 'n' roll-your-own, DJ Serge & Destroy hosts every Tuesday. The Mix, 9pm
Turn it Back Tuesdays DJ Chelmis spins classic records at the former rock dive immortalized in the Dead Milkmen's "Tacoland." Viva Tacoland, 9pm
502 Bar 502 Embassy Oaks Drive, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com AT&T Center 1 AT&T Center Parkway, (210) 4445140, attcenter.com Bottom Bracket Social Club 1609 N. Colorado St., (210) 267- 9160, facebook.com/ bottombracketsocialclub Carver Community Cultural Center 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 207-7211, thecarver.org Club Rio 13307 San Pedro Ave., (210) 403-2582, club-rio.net Cowboys Dancehall 3030 NE Interstate 410 Loop, (210) 646-9378, cowboysdancehall.com Jack’s Patio Bar 3030 Thousand Oaks Drive, (210) 494-2309, jacksbarsa. com Limelight 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., thelimelightsa.com Majestic Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersa.com Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com Southtown Vinyl 1010 S. Flores St. #120, (210) 231-0512, southtownvinyl.com St. Anthony Hotel 300 E. Travis St., (210) 227-4392, thestanthonyhotel.com The Korova 107 E. Martin St., (210) 2265070, thekorova.com The Mix 2403 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-1313 The Rock Box 1223 E. Houston St., (210) 2799430, 210kapones.com Tobin Center for the Performing Arts 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter. org Urban-15 2500 S. Presa St., (210) 736-1500, urban15.org Viva Tacoland 103 W. Grayson St., (210) 368-2443 Web House 320 Blanco Road, (210) 531-0100, webhousecafe.com
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I was honored to speak at JCCSF — Jewish Community Center of San Francisco — last week as a part of their “Uninhibited: About Sex” lecture series. The audience submitted questions on cards, which were ably put to me by Jourdan Abel, who was wearing a wonderful uterus-themed sweater. (Check out my Instagram account — @dansavage — to see Abel’s sweater!) Here are some of the questions submitted by the uninhibited JCCSF audience that Abel and I didn’t manage to get to during our conversation.
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I had the best sex of my life with my ex. He fucked me hard, had a huge cock, and made me eat his come with a spoon. I loved it. Needless to say, we were incompatible in other ways. My current BF is vanilla. Very. Vanilla. When I masturbate, I think about my ex and can’t help but wish my current guy would make me slurp his come up from a utensil. We are very compatible in other (non-sex) ways. Am I doomed to fantasize about my ex? You are — unless you open up to your current BF about what’s missing in your sex life and/or get his permission to get your hard-fucking/spoon-feeding needs met elsewhere. Is Savage your real last name? It’s mine, too! My mother kept her maiden name, I took her name, and she’s a sex therapist! We’re both huge fans. Could you say hi to Dr. Linda Savage? She’ll die! Hi, Dr. Linda Savage! Please don’t die. What is the one thing that concerns you most about the current political climate/election cycle? Donald Trump getting the Republican nomination. I’m not at all concerned about the potential destruction/ implosion of the GOP — those fuckers have it coming — but with the likelihood of political violence. I’m concerned that black and brown people — Mexicans, Muslims, African Americans — will be subjected to more political/social/ economic violence than they already
SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage
are. People will die as a direct result of Trump getting the GOP nomination. This is a terrifying moment. What kind of sexual fluid or act would you name after Donald Trump? Trump, as I pointed out in a previous column, already has an alternate/ more accurate meaning. There is no authority higher than the Oxford English Dictionary, and here’s what you’ll find under “trump” at oed.com: “in reference to a sound like a trumpet … the act of breaking wind audibly.” So remember, kids, when you see Donald Trump standing in front of a microphone … Trump isn’t talking. He’s trumping. What is the etiquette when it comes to social media and open relationships? It all depends on the preferences of the couple/throuple/quad/squad in question. If a particular couple, etc., wants to maintain the appearance of being monogamous, if they want to avoid stigma, judgment, freaked out parents, etc., then they’re not going to want evidence of their open relationship popping up all over Facebook and/ or Instagram. If there’s internal disagreement in a particular couple/ throuple/quad/squad about keeping things quiet on social media, not outing the person(s) who want to keep things discreet may be the price of admission their other partners have to pay. What was your favorite aspect of the orgy held in honor of your 50th birthday? The fact that I wasn’t invited. #NotAnOrgyFan “Uninhibited: About Sex” continues at the JCCSF through the end of May. Upcoming speakers and events include Esther Perel, Seth StephensDavidowitz, Nicole Prause, Jules Howard, films, poetry readings, and live musical performances. For a full schedule of events: jccsf.org/artsideas/uninhibited. On the Lovecast, power poly kinkster Allena Gabosch on poly complications: savagelovecast.com
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At Pearson, we’re committed to a world that’s always learning and to our talented team who makes it all possible. From bringing lectures vividly to life to turning textbooks into laptop lessons, we are always re-examining the way people learn best, whether it’s one child in our own backyard or an education community across the globe. We are bold thinkers and standout innovators who motivate each other to explore new frontiers in an environment that supports and inspires us to always be better. By pushing the boundaries of technology — and each other to surpass these boundaries — we create seeds of learning that become the catalyst for the world’s innovations, personal and global, large and small. We are hiring highly qualified college graduates to read and score student essays on a temporary basis at our San Antonio Scoring Center for DAY and EVENING shifts for the 2016 scoring session. • Day shift 8:00 am to 5:00 pm, Monday - Friday.
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sacurrent.com • March 30—April 5, 2016 • CURRENT 67
Help yourself and others. Volunteer for a study on Insulin Resistance, today!
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JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones
Answer on page 25
You may qualify for studies that will evaluate how an investigational drug affects sugar metabolism that leads to Type 2 diabetes Study participants should be:
• Non-smokers, 18 - 65 years old • Persons with or without diabetes • If you have diabetes, you may be eligible if taking: - metformin - glipizide (Glucotrol) - glyburide - glimepiride (Amaryl) - or diet controlled
Study participants will receive: • Blood work • A physical exam • Compensation for time
For more information, call:
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68 CURRENT • March 30—April 5, 2016 • sacurrent.com
“Completing the Circle”—one letter update at a time. ACROSS
1 CBS drama spun off from “JAG” 5 Retired auto racer Teo ___ 9 “That was close!” 13 1966 Grammy winner Eydie 14 “___ stands ...” 15 First state to vote 16 Trap during a winter storm 17 Mah-jongg piece 18 Sketch look 19 Scrunch a sea mammal into a tiny space? 22 A googol divided by a googol 23 “It’s nothing ___ consequence” 24 “The Hunchback of ___ Dame” 28 Stefan who won six Grand Slam singles titles 30 Catching up to, with “on” 32 Put into piles 33 Specter 35 What old mattresses do 36 Big sea waves for a Detroit union? 40 Ocean off Ga. and Fla. 42 Make like a 33-Across 43 For you and me 46 Whom to “take one for” 48 1990s Flockhart TV role 50 Apply, as pressure
51 Campbell’s spaghetti sauce brand 54 Kissing in front of everyone, e.g. 55 Memorize everything involving sugar suffixes? 58 “Falling Up” poet Silverstein 61 Earth sci. 62 Actor Tom of “The Dukes of Hazzard” 63 Lose it, in a way? 64 Bowling spot 65 Numbers ending in 8, e.g. 66 Pro votes 67 Suffix after hip or hoop 68 Yellow Muppet
DOWN
1 “Out of the question” 2 Dessert with a hardened layer 3 Phony, for short 4 Mister, in Rio 5 Ayatollah’s decree 6 Man from Manchuria 7 Farm animal with a beard 8 Anatomical duct 9 Name yelled in “Cast Away” 10 Earth mover 11 She for a shepherd 12 Hell, it’s said 13 Some action figures 20 CD followers?
21 Conglomerate 25 Gift bag padding 26 “Messenger” substance 27 Deviled item 29 Frat vowel 31 Entreat 33 Internet celebrity whose real name is Tardar Sauce 34 Farm female 37 Piques, as an appetite 38 “The sheep says ...” response, on a See ‘n Say 39 “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” co-creator McElhenney 40 Had some grub 41 “Much appreciated,” in a text message 44 Shining 45 Biases 47 Creatures who cause trouble on walls? 48 Ball club VIP 49 String in the attic? 52 Former ABC executive ___ Arledge 53 Swiss mathematician Leonhard 56 Long swimmers 57 Travel randomly 58 Retreating 59 Paint swatch option 60 “Golden” time
ETC.
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19):
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): You’re due
According to my astrological analysis, you would benefit profoundly from taking a ride in a jet fighter plane 70,000 feet above the earth. In fact, I think you really need to experience weightlessness as you soar faster than the speed of sound. Luckily, there’s an organization, MiGFlug (migflug.com), that can provide you with this healing thrill. (I just hope you can afford the $18,000 price tag.) APRIL FOOL! I do in fact think you should treat yourself to unprecedented thrills and transcendent adventures. But I bet you can accomplish that without being quite so extravagant.
to make a pilgrimage, aren’t you? It might be time to shave your head, sell your possessions, and head out on a long trek to a holy place where you can get back in touch with what the hell you’re doing here on this planet. APRIL FOOL! I was kidding about the head-shaving and possessions-dumping. On the other hand, there might be value in embarking on a less melodramatic pilgrimage. I think you’re ready to seek radical bliss of a higher order – and get back in touch with what the hell you’re doing here on this planet.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): “People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages,” says philosopher Alain de Botton. If that’s true, Taurus, you must be on the verge of becoming very interesting. Metaphorically speaking, you’re not just rattling the bars of your cage. You’re also smacking your tin cup against the bars and trying to saw through them with your plastic knife. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not literally in a prison cell. And I got a bit carried away with the metaphor. But there is a grain of truth to what I said. You are getting close to breaking free of at least some of your mindforged manacles. And it’s making you more attractive and intriguing.
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): If I had to decide what natural phenomenon you most closely resemble right now, I’d consider comparing you to a warm, restless breeze or a busily playful dolphin. But my first choice would be the mushrooms known as Schizophyllum commune. They’re highly adaptable: able to go dormant when the weather’s dry and spring to life when rain comes. They really get around, too, making their homes on every continent except Antarctica. But the main reason I’d link you with them is that they come in over 28,000 different sexes. Their versatility is unprecedented. APRIL FOOL! I exaggerated a bit. It’s true that these days you’re polymorphous and multifaceted and well-rounded. But you’re probably not capable of expressing 28,000 varieties of anything.
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): “Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting,” warns Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. If that’s true, why bother? Why expend all your precious yearning if the net result won’t even satisfy your yearning?! That’s why I advise you to ABANDON YOUR BELOVED PLANS! Save your energy for trivial wishes. That way you won’t be disappointed when they are fulfilled in unanticipated ways. APRIL FOOL! I was messing with you. It’s true that what you want won’t arrive in the form you’re expecting. But I bet the result will be even better than what you expected.
VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Are you ready to fight the monster? Do you have the courage and strength and stamina and guile to overcome the ugly beast that’s blocking the path to the treasure? If not, turn around and head back to your comfort zone until you’re better prepared. APRIL FOOL! I lied. There is a monster, but it’s not the literal embodiment of a beastly adversary. Rather, it’s inside you. It’s an unripe part of yourself that needs to be taught and tamed and cared for. Until you develop a better relationship with it, it will just keep testing you. (P.S. Now would be a good time to develop a better relationship with it.)
LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): Your advice for the near future comes from poet Stephen Dunn. “If the Devil sits down,” he says, “offer companionship, tell her you’ve always admired her magnificent, false moves.” I think that’s an excellent plan, Libra! Maybe you’ll even be lucky enough to make the acquaintance of many different devils with a wide variety of magnificent, false moves. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I think you should avoid contact with all devils, no matter how enticing they might be. Now is a key time to surround yourself with positive influences.
good chance of coming true for you. Imagine it, Sagittarius: daily swoons of delight and rapture from now until the year 2071. APRIL FOOL! I lied, sort of. It would be foolish to predict that you’ll be giddy with amorous feelings nonstop for the next 54 years and 10 months. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s unrealistic for you to expect a lot of that sweet stuff over the course of the next three weeks.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): “I am tired of being brave,” groaned Anne Sexton in one of her poems. “I’m sick of following my dreams,” moaned comedian Mitch Hedberg, adding, “I’m just going to ask my dreams where they’re going and hook up with them later.” In my opinion, Capricorn, you have every right to unleash grumbles similar to Hedberg’s and Sexton’s. APRIL FOOL! The advice I just gave you is only half-correct. It’s true that you need and deserve a respite from your earnest struggles. Now is indeed a good time to take a break so you can recharge your spiritual batteries. But don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): In 1991, hikers in the Italian Alps discovered the well-preserved corpse of a Bronze Age hunter. Buried in the frigid terrain, the man
who came to be known as Otzi the Iceman had been there for 5,000 years. Soon the museum that claimed his body began receiving inquiries from women who wanted to be impregnated with Otzi’s sperm. I think this is an apt metaphor for you, Aquarius. Consider the possibility that you might benefit from being fertilized by an influence from long ago. APRIL FOOL! I was just messing with you. It’s true you can generate good mojo by engaging with inspirational influences from the past. But I’d never urge you to be guided by a vulgar metaphor related to Otzi’s sperm.
PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): Caligula was an eccentric Roman emperor who had a physical resemblance to a goat. He was sensitive about it. That’s why he made it illegal for anyone to refer to goats in his company. I mention this, Pisces, because I’d like to propose a list of words you should forbid to be used in your presence during the coming weeks: “money,” “cash,” “finances,” “loot,” “savings,” or “investments.” Why? Because I’m afraid it would be distracting, even confusing or embarrassing, for you to think about these sore subjects right now. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, now is a perfect time for you to be focused on getting richer quicker.
THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow
SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): In 1841, a British medical journal prescribed the following remedy for the common cold: “Nail a hat on the wall near the foot of your bed, then retire to that bed, and drink spirits until you see two hats.” My expert astrological analysis reveals that this treatment is likely to cure not just the sniffles, but also any other discomforts you’re suffering from, whether physical or emotional or spiritual. So I hope you own a hat, hammer, and nails. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The method I suggested probably won’t help alleviate what ails you. But here’s a strategy that might: Get rid of anything that’s superfluous, rotten, outdated, or burdensome.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): To begin your oracle, I’ll borrow the words of author Ray Bradbury: “May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days, and out of that love, remake a world.” I have reason to believe that this optimistic projection has a
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