SAN ANTONIO FREE / MAY 6 -12, 2015 / SACURRENT.COM
Gender pay disparity in SA, NEWS, p. 12 Former thug comes clean, ARTS. p.24 Not quite edibles but definitely wearables, FOOD, p. 33
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sacurrent.com • May 6-12, 2015 • san antonio cURRENT 7
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CONTENTS May 6 -May 12, 2015
12 NEWS Unshattered Glass SA sees no problems with gender pay disparity, so are we all set? Ballot Madness Should SA’s leaders get a big raise? Let ‘em know with your vote
16 CALENDAR Our top picks for the week
23 ARTS Chekhov Checklist References abound in comic metadrama Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike Thug Life SA author Marcus Valdespino on his autobiography The White Boy Confessions
Geeky Grandeur Avengers: Age of Ultron is overstuffed with superhumans and gargantuan fight scenes Scene Stealer Vincent D’Onofrio’s Kingpin is reason enough to catch Daredevil on Netflix
33 FOOD Sugary Accessories Satiating your curiosity with culinary-themed jewelry Molto Bene Getting your pizza and gelato fix all under one roof Food Galore An early scoop into Culinaria Festival Week Flavor File Twisted Taco Truck Throwdown, Mother’s Day brunch options and more
39 NIGHTLIFE
27 SCREENS
Patio Boozin’ Out with the old … well, mostly, at renovated My Friend’s Backyard
Derailed Sitcom formulas and male bonding aboard The D Train
Bottle & Tap Say what? Hop tea? Yep. A DIY primer
8 san antonio cURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
44 MUSIC Is Anybody Goin’ To San Antone? With Bob Dylan’s first SA stop since 2006, we take a look at his impact on the local music culture Round And Roundtable Breaking down the thoroughly bizarre and often brilliant Ariel Pink Music Calendar Shows from Father, Follakzoid, Chicago and more
58 ETC. Savage Love Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crossword This Modern World
ON THE COVER
They’re mostly a thing of the past, but connections run deep and long between Bob Dylan and the Alamo City Illustration by Jeremiah Teutsch Cover by John Mata
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10 san antonio cURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
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sacurrent.com • May 6-12, 2015 • san antonio cURRENT 11
NEWS
JOHN MATA
UNSHATTERED GLASS Advocates Don’t Buy It, But SA Maintains It Has No Pay Disparities MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN
As far as one local leader sees it, if people are confident the Alamo City has shattered its glass ceiling, they need to think again. In early April, just weeks before municipal elections, District 7 Councilman Cris Medina, who is up for re-election, created an online petition calling on the city to revisit pay disparities between men and women who work for San Antonio. “In one of his last acts as Mayor, Julián Castro requested that the city retain a third party to conduct an equal pay study. Unfortunately, it appears that his request was ignored and no action has been taken,” Medina told supporters in an email. “That is unacceptable and I plan to change that.” Medina ignored repeated interview requests from the San Antonio Current. The city’s HR department doesn’t seem too worried. The department stands by its 2013 analyses of pay between men and women, calling its “employee compensation philosophy” fair and equitable. “The City’s policy and practices on employee pay allow for a number of factors, such as qualifications, experience, and individual performance to be considered in determining an employee’s pay and demonstrate the City’s commitment to equal pay for equal work,” according to a statement to the Current. Medina originally pushed the issue nearly two years ago, prompting the internal review in which former HR Director Joe Angelo concluded that “pay disparities did not exist between male and female full-time City employees,” according to minutes from the November 20, 2013, Governance Committee meeting. That assertion conflicts with a federal lawsuit filed last summer by three women who accuse SA of violating the federal Equal Pay Act. Two of the women — Christine Peden and Jeanne Martinez — also allege that the city retaliated against
them after they reported discovering that male coworkers in the same positions with the same amount of experience actually received higher pay. After an investigation, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission sided with Peden and Martinez, granting them the right to sue the city. The women worked at Animal Care Services, which Angelo managed prior to joining the HR department. As of last Tuesday, Medina’s petition had garnered just over 50 signatures with 26 people chiming in with supportive comments. Peden signed the petition, commenting: “$50k less than a man.” Martinez offered some thoughts of her own. “Men and women have fought and died to preserve our rights granted by our government,” she wrote. “Women in this country deserve better.” While the city maintains there are no gender-based pay disparities between its full-time employees, white males have long dominated local government and private-business sectors. It’s something equal-pay advocates have been trying to change. “We’re operating in an environment where, historically, men have received favored status in our society and there’s a culture of valuing their work over women’s work,” said Joleen Garcia, executive director of the Martinez Street Women’s Center. She welcomes Medina’s Equal Pay for SA initiative, but cautions city leaders from getting lost in studies. “Some things aren’t easy to find through studies and this lawsuit is an opportunity to uncover that and there are
12 san antonio cURRENT •May 6 - 12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
SA remains confident there’s no gender pay disparity among city employees, but some beg to differ.
more stories that we need to uncover,” Garcia said. “If we had an independent study that looks at individual stories and encourages women to speak out, I think we’d find out more.” And it’s impossible for the city to accurately analyze itself, according Garcia. Statewide wage-gap information also reveals a picture of inequality. According to data compiled by Progress Texas, a left-leaning public relations and advocacy organization, Texas women make 76 cents for every dollar a man earns. The outlook is worse for women of color. African-American women make 57 cents to every dollar a white man makes and Hispanic women make 45 cents to the dollar. Those numbers are garnered using U.S. Census data. “Our growing population of Latina women and our population of AfricanAmerican women combined create a majority status in San Antonio,” Garcia said of the statewide statistics. “And if we don’t see to their economic well-being, then we are impacting an entire majority of San Antonio.” That’s because income disparity trickles down. “Equal pay is a family issue because women are increasingly bread winners
in the home,” said Lucy Stein, advocacy director at Progress Texas. “So when women make less, families suffer because they are also earning less on the whole.” While San Antonio doesn’t plan to revisit Medina’s request, unless he is re-elected and successfully convinces his colleagues to support a third-party study, there are strong efforts on the state level to address gender-income equality. The Texas Equal Pay Act mirrors the federal Lilly Ledbetter Act — the first law President Barack Obama signed when he was elected to the nation’s top office. Enacted in 2009, the law resets the 180-day statute of limitations on equal pay lawsuits for each paycheck affected by discrimination. “Texas is one of eight states that doesn’t have a state version of the Lilly Ledbetter Act,” said Stein. “It makes it easier to sue.” During the last legislative session, the Texas Equal Pay Act was approved, but former governor Rick Perry vetoed it. To effectively close the wage gap, Stein said the Lone Star State would need to raise the minimum wage, support pay transparency, invest in paid family and medical leave, and pass the Texas Equal Pay Act. mreagan@sacurrent.com
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SA Voters Face A Slew Of Crucial Decisions Beyond Mayoral Race HERNÁN ROZEMBERG /@SCRIBEHERNAN
The upcoming mayoral race has garnered most of the local political headlines this election season — rightly so, given voters will choose the next CEO of the country’s 7th-largest city. It’s also particularly appealing since it’s the first time the city will have a permanent new leader since the defection of former mayor and Democratic Party rising star, Julián Castro, who moved on to more politically fertile pastures in Washington, D.C. But there are many other choices that San Antonio voters will face when they go to cast their ballot on May 9, ranging the gamut from having a say in picking the entire slate of the city’s top leaders — all 10 city council districts are up for grabs — as well as various propositions that play an important role in shaping the city’s future. A couple of the propositions could be seen as more on the mundane and drier side of things: One (Prop 4) would nix current city charter provisions rendered moot by state law so they’d be updated accordingly, while the other (Prop 3) would green-light a requirement for special elections to fill vacant council and mayoral seats which have more than four months left in their term. The other propositions are ones that would likely draw more divided and emotional responses from voters. Given past controversy over how it was brought up and handled by city leaders, Prop 1 would require a public vote before the city would try again to bring about light rail in a public rightof-way. If approved, Prop 2 would give city leaders a huge raise. Now, many would argue that it’s long overdue and actually fair pay. Currently, city council members make about $1,040 a year, while the mayor gets $3,000. Salary would jump to $45,722 for city council members and $61,725 for the mayor. All current council members except for one — District 9’s Joe Krier — and the
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1-800-267-2688 city’s business lobby support the raises. Some incumbents are expected to hang on to their seats and thus would live to see that higher pay if voters approve it. Alan Warrick in District 2, for example, seems to have little worry about his challengers convincing constituents to boot him out of office. Warrick has won the past two races for the seat and counts among his accomplishments introducing a high-tech crime-fighting tool that San Antonio police is looking to adopt. Other races, such as for District 3, have taken a turn for the ugly. Incumbent Rebecca Viagran is trying to fend off Roy Aguillon. Let’s just say the two are no strangers. They’ve actually pitted the venerable Witte Museum in the middle of their volley of accusations. Aguillon actually used to work for Viagran as an aide. She said she was forced to fire him because of poor job performance; he countered that he was on his way out anyway because it was a bad job environment. Bottom line, it’s your call as voters to make a choice. Cliché and all, but only those that do make their voice heard should have a right to later complain about what’s not right with City Hall. hernan@sacurrent.com
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CALENDAR
WED-TUE
6-12
Children’s International Puppet Festival FESTIVAL
An ambitious endeavor launched by Children’s Fine Arts Series, the Children’s International Puppet Festival brings professional companies from the U.S, Europe and Asia to SA for a packed week of shows. Encompassing 59 performances by seven troupes, the fest explores everything from mythology and folklore to wildlife and ecology. Portland-based Tears of Joy Theatre’s When Animals Were People, French outfit Le Clan de Songes’ Fragile and U.K.-based Mimika Theatre’s Landscapes stand out among many imaginative highlights. $10-$42, WedTue, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — Bryan Rindfuss
WED
6
A Crown for Gumecindo WORDS
San Antonio Poet Laureate Laurie Ann Guerrero was born and raised right here in the Alamo City. On the Southside of San Anto, images of daily curiosity, smells and scraps of multiple cultures, rhythms of struggle and satisfaction, and the long unhinged laughter of survival lodged themselves in her memory. And, in diction thick as lengua, rich as menudo and light as the hull of an empty piñata, she has bared her soul, and the soul of our city, to the world. Now, she invites us to celebrate the release of A Crown for Gumecindo, a new collection dedicated to her grandfather. Free, 6:30-9pm, Coates Chapel, Southwest School of Art, 300 Augusta St., (210) 734-9673, geminiink.org. — James Courtney
16 SAN ANTONIO CURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
THU
7
Mr. Elevator and the Brain Hotel MUSIC
Start with a bit of Phil Spector’s generous girl group sound, then add a dash of The Doors’ wild carnival keys, a touch of The Beatles’ stranger side and a photo of Johnny Rotten’s snarl for good measure. With this righteous recipe, you get the singular sound of LA psychedelic rock outfit Mr. Elevator and the Brain Hotel. Notable for combining elements of jazz with the throwback psych sound and for eschewing guitar in favor of blistering organ leads, Mr. Elevator offers a refreshing take on the So Cal sound. In the live setting the band explores, and pushes outward, the limits of their unique music. $5-$7, 9pm, 502 Bar, 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com. — JC
FRI
8
More Than Honey FILM
Spend National Public Gardens Day with Swiss filmmaker Marcus Imhoof as he journeys across the world to explore the relationship between man and honeybee and analyzes the global impact of the dwindling bee population. Using high-speed photography and endoscopic lenses, his 2013 documentary More Than Honey transports viewers into the honeybees’ flight path and explains why the species is more than just the supplier of something to sweeten your chamomile tea. San Antonio Botanical Garden screens the doc as part of its outdoor sustainable film series. Free, gates at 6:30pm, San Antonio Botanical Garden, 555 Funston Pl., (210) 207-3250, sabot.org. – Kiko Martínez
CALENDAR
FRI
8
‘Selfies: 50 at 50’ ART
Growing in leaps and bounds since its formation in 1965, the Southwest School of Art is now Texas’ only independent art college. To celebrate half a century of educating, inspiring and showcasing artists, SSA is mounting a group show of diverse self-portraits by 50 individuals associated with the school. As if selfies by Alamo City art stars like Alejandro Diaz, Katie Pell and Ken Little weren’t enough of an allure, the commemorative exhibition invites audience participation and opens concurrently with “The Amazing Memorable Thing,” a poppy painting series by artist/ educator Christopher Rabb. Free, 6-8pm, Southwest School of Art, 300 Augusta, (210) 224-1848, swschool.org. — BR
SAT
9
Skinema
BURLESQUE
After recently coming in second for Best Burlesque Troupe (for the second year in a row) in our readers’ poll, the Pastie Pops took to their Facebook page — not to rage but to thank fans who voted for them (despite the “cheesy yet awesome campaign pics”). And with that gracious attitude, the Pops file into the Skinema. Featuring performances by 13 artists (including freshly solo “glam bear queen” Foxxy Blue Orchid and decorated Dallasite Blaze, pictured), the moviethemed spectacle takes creative cues from Edward Scissorhands, The Muppets, Sister Act, Moulin Rouge! and many more. $10-$40, 9pm, The Uptown Studio, 700 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 387-1617, facebook.com/pastiepops. — BR
TUE
12
Newsies
TUE
THEATER
The newsboys may be on strike, but that won’t stop them from singing. Disney’s Newsies chronicles a ragtag group of turn-of-the-century paperboys in their crusade against unjust distribution costs. Inspired by the true story of Kid Blink, a tough-as-nails, half-blind newsboy, both the musical and 1992 film of the same name have brought droves of teenage girls to madness, due in part to swoon-worthy actors in the lead role of Jack Kelly. The touring Broadway production features Dan DeLuca as Kelly, born the year the film hit the silver screen and starring in its rebirth 23 years later. $35-$125, 7:30pm, The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — Murphi Cook
12
A Streetcar Named Desire BALLET
Few can forgot the iconic cry of Marlon Brando as he calls out for Stella. The Scottish Ballet Company forgoes language and channels it into movement in its adaptation of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire. The haunting tale of lust and betrayal follows wilted Southern belle Blanche DuBois as she tries to escape her troubled past, only to find a tumultuous present in the face of her sister’s husband Stanley. Developed by director Nancy Meckler and choreographer Annabelle Lopez Ochoa, the production features a jazzy score and 30 dancers clad in vintage-style costumes. $29-$110, 7:30pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, artssa.org. — MC
sacurrent.com • May 6 -12, 2015 • SAN ANTONIO CURRENT 17
CALENDAR
FRI
8
‘Heroes Are Less Heroic’
FRI
Emerging young artist J. Eric Simpson’s mixedmedia explorations into the trinity of “religion, philosophy and pop culture” have so far taken shape in works combining such unusual suspects as Wheaties boxes, Big Macs, a Jesus statue and a DVD player looping the first season of AMC’s The Walking Dead. A Texas Tech graduate currently pursuing his MFA, Simpson recently attended Land Arts of the American West, a trans-disciplinary field program that expands on the definition of land art via “direct experience with the full range of human interventions in the landscape.” Inspired by notions that affected his boyhood and early adult years, Simpson’s new solo exhibition “Heroes Are Less Heroic” reimagines a world where “the white picket fence of the American Dream no longer represents the security and sanctity it once did; the sacred ritual of Christian communion is compared with the fetishized behavior of contemporary zombie culture; and the expectations of a childhood hero are confronted with a less heroic reality.” Free, 7-10pm, Clamp Light Studios & Gallery, 1704 Blanco Rd., Suite 104, (512) 569-8134, clamplightstudios.blogspot.com. — Bryan Rindfuss
Art
Art opening: Justo Cisneros: “Black Out”
Known to blend elements of line drawing, graphic design, animation and psychedelia, Texas-based artist Justo Cisneros presents a series of large hand-drawn pieces exploring sexual, religious and social themes. Free, 7-10pm Friday; K23 Gallery, 704 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 776-5635.
Art opening: Anita Valencia: “Lily Pads and Lotus Blossoms” Co-curated by
Margaret L. Honeytruffle and London Idyllwild James, local artist Anita Valencia’s new installation “Lily Pads and Lotus Blossoms” is rendered in recycled material and draws inspiration from the view of the sun setting over Woodlawn Lake. Free, 6-9pm Saturday; Epitome Institute, 222 Roosevelt Ave., (210) 535-0918
Art Party: “José Arpa: Spain, Mexico, & San Antonio” KRTU and SAMA’s latest
Art Party combines gallery tours of the exhibition “The Three Worlds of José Arpa,” live music by Henry Brun & the Latin Playerz, cocktails from the Esquire Tavern (cash bar) and art-making activities. $5-$10, 5:30-8pm Friday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones St., (210) 978-8100.
”Rodin to Warhol: 60th Anniversary Gifts and Recent Acquisitions” A
tribute to the McNay’s benefactors, the wide-ranging “Rodin to Warhol” exhibition encompasses everything from French sculptures of the late 19th century to contemporary works by San Antonio artists. $5-$10, 10am-4pm Wednesday,
10am-9pm Thursday, 10am-4pm Friday, 10am-5pm Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-4pm Tuesday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.
MujerArtes Mother’s Day Sale Expressing
their creative voices through the medium of clay for 20 years now, the women of MujerArtes (a program of the Esperanza Peace and Justice Center) celebrate Mother’s Day with an annual show and sale of works (priced between $5 and $300) inspired by “mothers, grandmothers, tías, and daughters from all walks of life.” Free, 10am-5pm Wednesday-Saturday; MujerArtes Casita, 1412 El Paso, (210) 228-0201.
“It Takes a Village” Although based in
New York, Alejandro Diaz’s influence can be felt all over his native San Antonio. A master of disarming viewers with humor while engaging them in conversations about identity politics, Diaz’s new solo exhibition “It Takes A Village” employs reinterpretations of iconic styles to address current issues of class and culture. Free, noon-5pm Wednesday-Saturday, SPACE Gallery; 111 Camp St., (210) 227-8400.
Jesse Amado: “30 Day Rx” Enigmatic,
unpredictable and accomplished are but a few of the words that come to mind when considering Jesse Amado, a San Antonio artist who’s represented in collections stretching from the McNay to the Smithsonian. Drawing from his personal experience with illness, Amado’s latest body of work employs richly colored virgin wool felt cuttings to address “the gamut of ways
18 SAN ANTONIO CURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
8
Courtney Love
Few artists in rock music over the last three decades have been more polarizing and transcendent than Courtney Love, widow of late grunge god Kurt Cobain. A double threat, Love has turned out Grammy-nominated singles that helped define the ‘90s and earned a Golden Globe nod for her acting work in Miloš Forman’s biopic The People Vs. Larry Flynt. While Love established herself as a solo artist more than a decade ago with America’s Sweetheart, she’s still known best as frontwoman for Hole, an LA band that reached stardom at the climax of Generation X. Although it started out with an aggressive sound crossing streams of the Riot Grrrl aesthetic with noise-rock tendencies, Hole adapted to the ‘90s and perfected a signature pop-rock sound befitting a new wave of alternative radio. Love has maintained this sound through her solo career while exchanging throaty vocals with exasperating screams expressing the rage and raw emotion of her lyrics. Her output may have become more sporadic over the last decade, but Love’s influence has been more ubiquitous than ever. $25, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertiger.queueapp.com. — Erik Casarez that pharmaceuticals inflect our daily lives.” Free, 11am-4pm Tuesday-Saturday; RuizHealy Art, 201-A E. Olmos Dr., (210) 804-2219.
Theater
Celtic Woman Directed by Emmy-nominated producer David Downes, the all-female ensemble Celtic Woman’s 10th anniversary tour promises “a treasure chest of traditional Irish standards, classical favorites and contemporary pop songs” with accompaniment from The Anotas Choir, bagpipers and Irish dancers. $44$104, 3pm Sunday, The Majestic Theatre, 224 E Houston St., (210) 226-3333.
Rumors Michael Burger directs the Vex’s
production of Neil Simon’s classic farce surrounding a dinner party that blows up when the host (the Mayor of New York) shoots himself in the ear lobe. $15-$21, 7:30pm Thursday, 8pm Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday, Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 12500 NW Military Hwy., (210) 302-6835.
Seussical the Musical, Jr. The Cat in the
Hat hosts this one-act romp following Horton the Elephant on a journey through Whoville, the Jungle of Nool and other classic Seussian haunts populated by the likes of the Grinch, Gertrude McFuzz and lazy Mayzie. $15-$20, 7:30pm Friday, 2:30pm & 7:30pm Saturday, 4:30pm Sunday; Cameo Theatre, 1123 E. Commerce St., (210) (210) 212-5454.
The Journeymen and Womyn with a Y
Written by Mike Wirsch and directed by Liz Vermeulen, the Overtime’s latest dystopian
drama brings together an absurd cast of characters (Satan, SuperPope, members of a suicide cult and “the most uninteresting man in the world”) for a Russian Roulette tournament. $10-$14, 8pm FridaySaturday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.
Words
Jesse Sublett: 1960s Austin Gangsters: Organized Crime that Rocked the Capital Austin-based author and rock musician Jesse Sublett (The Skunks, The Violators) visits Barnes & Noble to discuss and sign copies of his new book about Timmy Overton and Jerry Ray James as well as the criminal lawyers, gamblers, bank burglars and thugs of the Austin underworld in the 1960s. Free, 2pm Saturday; Barnes & Noble, 15900 La Cantera Pkwy., (210) 558-2078.
Eric Blehm: Legend The Twig welcomes
journalist and bestselling author Eric Blehm (Fearless) in support of his latest novel Legend: A Harrowing Story from the Vietnam War of One Green Beret’s Heroic Mission to Rescue a Special Forces Team Caught Behind Enemy Lines. Following the author event, Blehm will lead a presentation at Ft. Sam Houston. Free, 2-3pm Friday; The Twig Book Shop, 306 Pearl Pkwy, Suite 106, (210) 826-6411.
Motherworks: Performance Celebrating Mothers Poetry and paintings converge in this special Mother’s Day performance featuring readings from Jim LaVillaHavelin, Laura Van Prooyen, Bill Lewis,
sacurrent.com • May 6 -12, 2015 • SAN ANTONIO CURRENT 19
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CALENDAR
Natalia Treviño and Carrie Fountain, live music by George and Aaron Prado, and a video by George and Cat Cisneros. A cookie reception with take-home flowers follows the performance. $5-$10, 2-3pm Sunday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.
Special Events
Celebrate Central Day Central Library
opened in May of 1995 and celebrates its 20th anniversary Saturday with food, music, activities, exhibits and more. Highlights from the family-friendly day include a ‘90s-themed party in Café Commerce, library tours (noon and 1pm), open terraces for photo ops, an exhibit of works by Félix González-Torres courtesy of Artpace, a photography lesson led by educators from the Southwest School of Art (1pm) and an “Enchilada TasteOff” in the Auditorium (3-5:30pm). Free, 11am-5pm Saturday; Central Library, 600 Soledad St., (210) 207-2500.
H-E-B Health & Wellness Family Expo
H-E-B hosts a free public event with health screenings by University Health System, product samples, healthy cooking demos and snack ideas, a kids’ zone, fitness activities and appearances by former Spur Bruce Bowen, the Coyote and Spurs Silver Dancers. Free, 10am-2pm Saturday; Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center, 200 E. Market St., (210) 207-8500.
Honoring Mothers Luncheon Ashley
Judd is best recognized for her acting career but has increasingly become involved in global humanitarian efforts and advocacy for women’s issues. Local nonprofit Family Violence Prevention Services welcomes Judd as keynote speaker for its 14th annual Honoring Mothers Luncheon, which this year honors the memory of late restaurateur, mother and civic leader Viola Barrios. $150, 11:30am Friday; San Antonio Marriott Rivercenter, 101 Bowie St., (210) 733-8810.
San Antonio Train Day Inspired by
together to perform traditional songs of love in celebration of Mother’s Day. $19-$59, 7:30pm Saturday, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333.
Yoga Day in the Park San Antonio-based nonprofit Yoga Day hosts a morning of outdoor sessions suited for a variety of age groups (from kids to seniors). In addition to yoga, the free event features a silent auction, food, coffee and juice for purchase from Pharm Table and Revolucion Coffee + Juice, plus aerial yoga, acroyoga and massages. Free, 8:30am Saturday; Brackenridge Park, 3700 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 429-4136.
Talks Plus
Guerrilla Marketing with Library Resources Do you have more talent
and drive than money? No advertising budget? Library staffers shed light on guerrilla marketing and how to use databases like Reference USA, Business Decision and Business Source to research your customer base and different industry trends. Free, 10-10:45am Friday; Central Library, 600 Soledad St., (210) 207-2500.
In-person Spontaneous CrowdFunding Extravaganza Hosted
by the Whatever the Fuck Aspiring Foundation, this crowd-funding event invites interested parties to gather and take turns proposing original ideas and projects requiring funding. Based on votes, the winner will collect funds onsite. Visit wtfaf.weebly.com for details. Free, 11:35am-12:15pm Saturday; Kenwood Park, 305 Dora St., (210) 781-3697.
Sexercise Class Certified personal fitness
trainer Bridgett encourages attendees to “bring a yoga mat, towel and a sense of humor” to this class focusing on exercises “used in almost all sex positions and most importantly during orgasm.” $10, 9am Saturday; Sexology Institute and Boutique, 727 S. Alamo St., (210) 487-0371.
the 203 colleges, universities and educational organizations located along Amtrak’s Texas Eagle and Sunset Limited lines, San Antonio’s 2015 take on National Train Day follows a theme of “Taking the Rails to Higher Education” and features a variety of educational displays and kid-friendly activities. Free, 10am-4pm Saturday; Sunset Station, 350 Hoefgen Ave., (210) 549-7794.
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WEB: References Abound in Topsy-Turvy ‘Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike’ ARTS
SIGGI RAGNAR
CHEKHOV CHECKLIST References Abound In Topsy-Turvy Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike STEVEN G. KELLMAN
After his sister Sonia echoes a line from The Seagull (“I’m in mourning for my life”), Vanya replies: I hope you don’t make Chekhov references all day.” Later, Sonia argues with Vanya over whether their nine or 10 cherry trees constitute an orchard. Sampling The Seagull again, she also proclaims: “Our lives are over.” Throughout the long, eventful day covered by Christopher Durang’s 2012 play, the characters make references not only to The Seagull but also to Uncle Vanya, The Cherry Orchard, and Three Sisters. And not only to Chekhov, but also to Molière, Shakespeare, Virgil, Aeschylus, Tennessee Williams and Neil Simon, among others. Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike — whose title echoes Paul Mazursky’s 1969 film Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice – is comic metadrama, a self-conscious work in which most of the characters are actors or would-be actors and all the play’s a world. Vanya, Sonia, and Masha are 50-something siblings whose late parents — college professors — named them after Chekhov characters. Masha has gone off to become a world-famous movie star, while Vanya and Sonia were left behind to nurse their aging parents and their grudges. Vanya, a gentle,
virginal gay man, seems resigned to a dull existence in the family farmhouse in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, gazing at the pond and hoping to catch a glimpse of the blue heron. But Sonia is a firstclass kvetch. “We have never really lived,” she grouses. “My life is pointless.” The return of glamorous Masha, accompanied by a 29-year-old hunk named Spike, revives old rivalries and resentments. She also intends to sell their house, though it brings her into conflict with a cleaning woman portentously named Cassandra, a nutty psychic who uses sinister spells to get her way. Each of the characters is given a theatrical aria, a dramatic solo riff. For Vanya, it is an extended monologue in which he pines for the vanished world of typewriters, rotary phones, Perry Como, and I Love Lucy. For Cassandra, it is a woozy, bluesy voodoo incantation. For Spike, it is his rabid reproduction of an audition he underwent for a part in a TV series. And for Sonia, it is her side of a telephone conversation with an attractive, mysterious stranger. As homely, doleful Sonia, Anna Gangai seems cast against type — the forceful, vibrant personalities she has played as Amanda in Private Lives and Judy
Clockwise from top: co-stars John Stillwaggon, John O’Neill, Anna Gangai and Emily Spicer.
Garland in End of the Rainbow. However, one of the principal pleasures of this production is seeing how, dressed for a costume party, as the Evil Queen to Masha’s Snow White, Gangai transforms herself. Pretending to be Maggie Smith on her way to the Oscars, Gangai’s mousy Sonia suddenly becomes downright majestic. John O’Neill also reveals unexpected depths to Vanya, a closeted playwright who has written a curiously apocalyptic closet drama. Emily Spicer’s Masha is a snooty celebrity and — married five times — a lonely, walking midlife crisis. John Stillwaggon’s beefcake Spike remains from beginning to end an opportunist and a stud. McKenna Liesman’s Nina is a pretty, starstruck neighbor who maintains her sweet innocence through it all. Danielle King endows Cassandra, the family’s African-American domestic, with scene-stealing attitude. “Beware of Hootie Pie!” she intones, and, before the reference becomes apparent, few would hazard a bite of even lemon meringue.
For all its madcap, anarchic mischief, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike is a sentimental affirmation of the power of family ties. Durang’s play covers about 24 hours in the lives of its characters and, though it seems longer, only 2 hours and 45 minutes in the lives of its audience. The work might have been cut by half an hour without significant damage. The winner of a Tony for best play in 2013, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike has been the most frequently produced play throughout the United States during the 2014-2015 theatrical season, staged more than twice as frequently as the next closest contender, John Patrick Shanley’s Outside Mullingar. Vanya and Sonia However, it is hard to and Masha imagine any of this year’s and Spike 26 other productions $10-$25 more effectively cast and 8 pm Fri-Sat, 3pm, Sun, Through May 17 mounted than the one Classic Theatre of San that Diane Malone has Antonio 1924 Fredericksburg Rd. directed for (210) 589-8450 San Antonio’s classictheatre.org Classic Theatre.
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mcnayart.org sacurrent.com • May 6-12, 2015 • san antonio cURRENT 23
ARTS
THUG LIFE
In the 12 years you were selling, you never ended up in jail on drug charges. How did you avoid it? The feds were following us for a long time. But the day they eventually ended up kicking down our door I had just sold my last 50-pack of cocaine that morning. They didn’t find anything. They wouldn’t have found anything anyway because I would bury my crack cocaine outside. I used to feel guilty because I have friends who ended up in the penitentiary and I never did. But that’s all in the past for me.
Marcus Valdespino Comes Clean In The White Boy Confessions
How did you get your radio gig? Were you selling during that time, too?
KIKO MARTÍNEZ
With only a few bucks to his name, just enough to “buy some chips and soda at the store,” Marcus Valdespino remembers being a teenager in the late ’80s when one of his friends pulled out a wad of cash from his pocket and started counting out $20 and $50 bills in front of him. Valdespino was intrigued and asked him where he got the money. “That’s when he showed us the rocks of crack cocaine he was selling,” Valdespino told the San Antonio Current during an interview on his autobiography, The White Boy Confessions. “I was like, ‘To heck with our $5. Let’s sell those little rocks instead.’” In The White Boy Confessions, Valdespino, 42, a former on-air personality on SA’s Sports Radio Ticket 760 AM and currently a security guard, writes about his life growing up in the Alamo City with a father who was a drug runner and how that led him to embrace the gang life and sell drugs to make a living. What is your first memory of your father and drugs? I remember once my dad took me to [San Antonio Spurs player] George Gervin’s house to sell to him. It was wild. That’s actually not in the book because the publisher was a little worried about including that, but it happened. You were four years old the first time you saw your parents get arrested on drug charges. What was going through your mind as a little kid? I kind of understood that my parents were doing wrong, but I was more upset at the police for taking away my parents. At the time I didn’t understand that my parents were the ones taking themselves away from me. You call your book The White Boy Confessions, but your last name is Valdespino. I’m assuming you’re mixed, yes? Yeah, my father is Hispanic and my mother is white, but I’ve always been identified as white. I would be referred to as “white boy” by my friends because I’m so light complected. But, yeah, my last name is Spanish. Everyone in the book is basically black except for me, my mother and my father. 24 san antonio cURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
I started as an intern and then made it on the air with Charlie Parker. We had a show for about a year and a half. They called me the “sports freak” because I knew everything about sports. Yeah, I was still selling and hanging with my homeboys. I would actually go to WOAI with cocaine in my pockets and a gun on me. They didn’t know what I was doing. Here I am on the radio talking sports and then an hour later I’m back at the housing projects selling dope. What finally got you out of the life? A helicopter had been following me and my wife one day. Later on, the cops just swarmed us at our apartment. I was in handcuffs on the couch. My three little kids had to witness that. I still didn’t get arrested, but I finally told myself I can’t do this anymore. I had to join the real world at 28. The White Boy Confessions: The Explosive Story of Marcus Valdespino and San Antonio’s Hood by Marcus Valdespino Strategic Media Books | 290 pp.
When did you decide to join a gang? I was at a club talking to this girl who I guess was involved with an East Terrace gang member. He came up to me and asked, “Why you talking to my girl?” We started fighting and I could see all these other East Terrace gang members running towards me. It was a scary feeling. I ended up getting jumped by like 15 of them. That night a thug was born. I remember saying to myself that I was going to have my own crew one day. I was going to decide who gets beat up and who doesn’t. Is that around the same time you started selling crack? Yeah, we started taking over apartment complexes. I don’t know if you remember the movie New Jack City, but it was like that. We took over one called Eden Roc where half the people there were on crack. We ran that place. Then we went to Wurzbach Manor and ran through that place, too. We preyed on these people.
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SCREENS
DERAILED
Odd couple: James Marsden and Jack Black bromancing aboard The D Train.
Jack Black And James Marsden Get Caught In A Sad Bromance JEFF MEYERS
In Richard Linklater’s 2011 film Bernie, Jack Black proved that with the right material (and, one assumes, direction) he could dial back the self-deluded man-child shtick and create a character that was simultaneously bigger than life and believably authentic. His portrayal of the real-life Bernie Tiede was both sweet and funny, carefully walking the line between parody and sincerity. Linklater had similar success with Black in the more overtly comic School of Rock, where he tempered the actor’s manic energy with moments of real warmth and empathy. Whatever mojo Linklater brings to the filmmaking game (Ethan Hawke is another actor who impresses under his direction), television veterans Jarrad Paul and Andrew Mogel would do well to make a study of the
indie director’s method. It could have saved their first feature, The D Train, from derailing what is an otherwise edgy premise. Black is Dan Landsman, a socially awkward family man who takes his job as his high school class reunion coordinator way too seriously. Ostracized by his former classmates and fretting over the small number of RSVPs, he makes it his mission to secure a “yes” from the most popular graduate, Oliver Lawless (James Marsden), after seeing him on a national TV commercial. Dan believes that if he can convince Oliver to attend, the night will be a huge success and he’ll finally be regarded as the class hero. Exploiting his kindhearted boss’ (Jeffrey Tambor) trust and technological naiveté, he uses the struggling company’s funds to pay for the trip to
Los Angeles, pretending that a major business deal is in the works. When his boss insists on accompanying him, Dan must go to extreme lengths to keep the ruse going as he tries to entice Oliver to return for the reunion. It’s strictly clichéd storytelling up until Dan and Oliver’s debauched night out together takes an unexpected and audacious turn (that I will not spoil here). Suffice it to say that the emotional fallout reverberates all the way back to suburban Pittsburgh, where Dan’s long-suffering wife (the wonderful Kathryn Hahn) and his teenage son (Russell Posner) feel its effects. Worse, Dan’s ridiculous lies may end up bankrupting the company he works for. Co-writers and directors Paul and Mogel should be commended for sticking with their ballsy plot twist, bringing it around to an unapologetically squirminducing conclusion. Too bad, The D Train isn’t funny enough to play as straight comedy nor dark enough to resonate as black comedy. Instead, it awkwardly tries to straddle the line between sitcom formulas and the uncomfortable outer
limits of male bonding. Black would seem to be a good choice for a character who has constructed layers of self-delusion atop years of painful rejection. Dan’s coping skills — a mixture of graceless bonhomie and busybody pushiness — make sense, and played correctly, could have elicited embarrassed sympathy. But Dan’s emotions and motivations are played so broadly that it’s hard to see the human beneath his obnoxious neediness. It’s as if the filmmakers never considered what attributes might make their protagonist attractive to his wife, or why his 14-yearold son would seek his parental guidance about his newly found sexual curiosity. Both offered opportunities to ground Dan in the real world. Unfortunately, as depicted here, Black’s character is mostly a cartoon, singularly fixated on his high school reunion and the perceived bond he shares with Oliver. Not to say there aren’t promising moments in The D Train. The best ones come between Marsden and Black, who establish a strange and convincing rapport in their odd-couple interactions. Hunky Oliver’s casual hedonism is an engaging match for Dan’s sycophantic self-doubt, pushing the plot into dramatically risky territory. Marsden understands how Oliver’s professional failure as an actor feeds off of Dan’s insecurities and provides his character with a desperate, even vulnerable undercurrent to the Hollywood swagger. Their connection is not only believable but, at its core, tragic. The rest of the supporting cast similarly tries to rise above caricature, with Tambor and Hahn, in particular, grounding their characters in believable confusion and disappointment. But the movie, ultimately, is on Jack Black’s shoulders and it’s hard to deduce whether Mogel and Paul lacked the chops to rein in his manic energy or, more misguidedly, encouraged it. The D Train has some potentially interesting things to say about the agonies of mid-life doubt and confused male identity, but ends up derailed by a hero with whom it’s almost impossible to relate.
The D Train (R) Writ. and dir. Andrew Mogel and Jarrad Paul; feat. Jack Black, James Marsden, Kathryn Hahn, Jeffrey Tambor, Russell Posner Opens May 8
HHH
sacurrent.com • May 6 - 12, 2015 • San antonio cURRENT 27
28 San antonio cURRENT• May 6 - 12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
SCREENS
GEEKY GRANDEUR New Avengers Flick Delivers Right But Predictable Notes JEFF MEYERS
One of the downsides of Marvel announcing its future slate of superhero movies so far in advance of their release dates is that their “Phase One” blockbusters already seem to pale in comparison to the on-deck “Phase Two” installments. After all, how can writer-director Joss Whedon’s justreleased Avengers: Age Of Ultron possibly compare to 2018’s two-part Avengers: Infinity War? One is merely an age, the other tackles, well, infinity. One can only assume heaven and hell are on deck for “Phase Three.” It’s this dedication to grandiosity that, no doubt, fuels Whedon’s recent complaints that his $250 million sequel to his $1.5 billion hit, The Avengers, left him depleted and exhausted. It’s understandable, given the ridiculous juggling act on display in Age Of Ultron. Overstuffed with no less than a dozen superhumans threading their way through a trio of plotlines, the movie has just enough Whedonesque quips, banter and character moments to make his presence felt (the best is when Thor’s teammates attempt, in turn, to lift his mighty hammer) but mostly features gargantuan fight scenes, crammed-in cameos and corporate blueprinting for future sequels and spinoffs. It’s an impressively bloated entertainment machine that brazenly wears its comic-book origins on its sleeves but offers little of the giddy fun of its predecessor, nor any of the subversive surprises of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Nevertheless, it’ll make another $1.5 billion, even if it is, as Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) describes: “Eugene O’Neill long.” Things kick off with an assault on the castle fortress of Baron Strucker (Thomas Krestchmann). Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) are out to capture the last of Hydra’s evil agents and retrieve the Staff of Loki hidden in his labs. Little do they know that the staff contains one of the Infinity Stones, powerful artifacts that will come into play in the next set of sequels. Also in Strucker’s employ are Wanda Maximoff, aka The Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), and her superspeedy twin brother Pietro, aka Quicksilver (Aaron TaylorJohnson). The siblings complicate the Avengers’ mission and inadvertently inspire Stark to create the movie’s main nemesis. You see, Wanda’s mind powers cause her foes to live their worst fears, and Stark, foreseeing the demise of humanity, decides that Loki’s staff must be used to power a defense system that will protect Earth against an alien attack. Instead, his by-any-means-necessary hubris gives rise
Expect gargantuan fight scenes and a trio of plotlines from Joss Whedon’s overstuffed sequel Avengers: Age of Ultron.
to Ultron (brilliantly voiced by a droll James Spader), an artificial intelligence that decides that mankind is actually Earth’s greatest threat. Using spare Iron Man parts, Ultron constructs a bad-ass robot body for itself, builds a mechanical army, teams with The Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, and recites lyrics from “I’ve Got No Strings,” a song featured in Disney’s Pinocchio (apparently, even genocidal robots believe in corporate synergy). There’s a fight in an Eastern European forest, at Avengers tower, on a freeway, in the streets of Johannesburg (an enraged Hulk versus a Hulk-busting Iron Man), and, in the finale, around and atop a floating city. Super sidekicks like Rhodey/War Machine (Don Cheadle) and the Falcon (Anthony Mackie), along with Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), Stellan Skarsgård’s Dr. Selvig, and newly minted android The Vision (Paul Bettany) — né J.A.R.V.I.S. — all get thrown into the convoluted mix. Needless to say, the various characters all jostle for attention, with Hawkeye, improbably, emerging with the most intact through-line. Natasha (Black Widow) and Bruce (The Hulk) smolder with romantic longing, sentient robots muse on the nature of humanity and each member of the team gets a well-timed zinger and single spark of emotion as the next sequel-friendly plot device kicks in. The mayhem is occasionally clever but, functionally, Whedon is serving Disney’s branding schemes first and
his story and characters second. What he does manage to shoehorn into this noisy spectacle is the geeky grandeur of comic-book quirk, and the heartfelt idea that ideals and intentions, not super powers, are what make the hero. It’s a sentiment voiced by Hawkeye — who’s all too aware that a dude with a bow and arrow seems ridiculous alongside gods and robots and monsters — and in Captain America’s rallying cry against Ultron, who sees humanity as worthy of only extinction: “This isn’t just about defeating him. This is about whether he’s right.” For fans who remember what it was like to page through heavily-inked newsprint to witness colorfully costumed superheroes fire laser beams from their forehead at skull-faced bad guys and still protect the innocent from harm, Avengers: Age Of Ultron is an old-timey ode to what made comic books great. Thor’s teammates may not have what it takes to lift his hammer, but they’re plenty worthy enough to be called heroes.
Avengers: Age Of Ultron (PG-13)
Dir. Joss Whedon; writ. Joss Whedon (based on comic books by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby); feat. Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany, James Spader, Samuel L. Jackson Now playing
HHH
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THREE SIMPLE WORDS DESCRIBE CULINARIA:
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Not everyone is going to like Daredevil, Marvel and Netflix’s first collaborative entry into the ever-popular Marvel Cinematic Universe. Parents are going to be frustrated that there’s a show based on a classic comic-book character that has visceral depictions of violence — bones poking through flesh, strangulation, skulls crushed to literal pulp — peppered throughout the season. Those expecting blind lawyer/masked crime fighter Matthew Murdock (Charlie Cox, Boardwalk Empire) to be a Spandex-clad, wise-cracking do-gooder in the vein of Spider-Man might be turned off by the moral ambiguity offered in a scene where the masked vigilante tortures a suspect to find the location of a kidnapped boy. Those who expect the central conflict of the show to be established in the first episode may give up early, just as viewers abandoned Marvel’s ABC series Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. But those people are going to miss out. The show-runners behind Daredevil, Drew Goddard and Steven S. DeKnight, seem to revel in being able to take 13 hours to tell a year-one story about a fledgling hero, resolving to pace the show as a slow burn rather than an over-the-top action spectacle. Plots are intricate. Scenes are long. Characters develop over time. The show spends as much time showing Murdock’s co-workers Foggy Nelson (Elden Henson, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay) and Karen Page (Deborah Ann Woll, True Blood) working with reporter Ben Urich (Vondie Curtis-Hall, Chicago Hope) to unravel the central criminal conspiracy as it does tracking Murdock’s development as a superhero. But where Daredevil’s room to breathe really pays off is in Vincent D’Onofrio’s portrayal of criminal Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin. When we’re first introduced to him, he almost seems meek, whispering his lines in an echo of the character’s desire not to draw attention to himself. Over the course of the season, we learn, of course, that there is a fountain of rage just below the surface, waiting to erupt into shockingly violent outbursts. But there is vulnerability as well. In an early episode, we get to see the mighty Kingpin brought low by the awkwardness of asking Vanessa (Ayelet Zurer), an art dealer he has a thing for, to dinner. As we learn more and more about his motivations and his past, the more sympathetic the character becomes, to the point where his main objective — gentrification of a shitty neighborhood — seems to make a lot more sense than Daredevil’s — beating up everyone in a shitty neighborhood. Daredevil, then, comes off as the Marvel Cinematic Universe version of The Wire. Black and white, good and evil, are muddled into shades of dark, dark gray. The roles of institutions are explored, from criminal organizations to courts to law enforcement. Though there is an inherent un-reality that permeates a show about a man with super-senses who is secretly trained in martial arts, the show goes a long way to make the world in which it takes place feel flawed, relevant and real.
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Vincent D’Onofrio Shines In Netflix’s THADDEUS MCCOLLUM Slow-Burning Daredevil
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This is a festival with a purpose. More than just a week in May, Culinaria is a year round experience that gives you the best that San Antonio has to offer and in return gives the best back to the city. We invite you to Eat. Drink. Give. at one (or more) of these events!
EAT, DRINk, GIVE.
SERIOUS FOODIES TO CURIOUS NEWBIES #EATDRINkGIvE Twitter: @culinariasa | Facebook.com/CulinariaSanAntonio | Instagram: @culinariasa
www.cULINARIASA.ORg sacurrent.com • May 6 - 12, 2015 • San antonio cURRENT 31
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32 san antonio cURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
FOOD
SUGARY ACCESSORIES Sweet Craft Jewelry Adds Regional Touch To Bling JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS
When Nicole Gonzalez set out to find her way in life after graduating from Taft High School, the San Antonio native decided to try her luck at baking. But the fan of sweet desserts and generally cute treats had a hard time actually enjoying the work. “I kept going back to painting and sculpting here and there,” said Gonzalez, 26, who dabbled in art classes while in school. After watching a YouTube how-to video on working with polymer clay, she found a way to still bake while putting her love of art to use. Gonzalez launched Sweet Craft Jewelry in 2013 on Etsy, the online indie vendor shop. She’s been meticulously laboring over tiny pastries and the occasional savory snack using polymer clay and turning them into fashionable stud earrings, rings and necklaces. Aside from ordering pieces online, folks can buy Sweet Craft Jewelry at local markets such as Mujeres Mercado pop-ups, several Fiesta craft fairs, Downtown Open pop-ups and, most recently, at Alamo Street Eat Bar on First Fridays. The business started with a few cupcake varieties, frosted donuts and syrup-drenched pancakes, all sold through Etsy, but its portfolio has since expanded to include several South Texan favorites. “The conchas and the pizza are best sellers,” Gonzalez said. Available in four colors, mirroring flavors of conchas, the pieces are about the size of a quarter. Conchas takes about 10 minutes to make and when they’re set they’re baked in a small convection toaster oven that Gonzalez uses to temper the teensy pan dulce (for all intents and purposes, a regular-sized oven can also be used, but that would be kinda goofy). “I’ve gotten used to making them, so I can narrow down
Firrssdt ays T hu S A · TX
Polymer corn dog earrings ... Not tasty, but a fashion statement.
They look yummy, sure, but sorry, ya can’t eat these conchas.
the process,” Gonzalez told the San Antonio Current. She uses a slew of clay tools, along with fondant cutters and rollers, to shape her products and then adds texture with sandpaper. She uses her days off from her job as a kennel technician to beef up her inventory, usually making about 10 one-inch pieces a day in advance of big fairs or events. Pizza, on the other hand, is a more tedious, time-consuming design that requires several layers (dough, cheese, toppings). Though Gonzalez has been making the tiny wearables for two years, business picked up last year when she started a separate Instagram for her business. “I bet people were glad I stopped spamming from my personal one,” she quipped. It’s also easy to see improvement in her pieces with the use of new techniques from just a year ago. Her busy season, unsurprisingly, is Christmas (October through December are particularly nutty) and Fiesta. Aside from conchas, other regional food items help set Sweet Craft Jewelry apart from other Etsy vendors. Where else but South Texas can you find a bean and cheese taco necklace to finish off a Fiesta outfit? Her most recent creations include avocado halves, red
and green jalapeños, empanadas, marranitos or chilicovered mango and watermelon lollipops, all of which are packaged and shipped to Europe, Australia, Canada and all over the U.S. Gonzalez experiments with special requests, resulting in Paleta Payaso pieces, Choco Tacos, Cadbury eggs and Piccadilly miniatures, but not all experiments end up being made by the dozen. Hints of perfectionism show as she talks about trying to get the cheese “right” on her trial bean and cheese tacos. “I’ve done pies in the past, but it’s a little difficult to get the layers and fruit and filling right and making sure it keeps that pie shape,” Gonzalez said. Turns out that much like their edible counterparts, you can’t control what happens to polymer pie once it hits the oven. Though challenging, she’s cool taking on those special requests — to an extent. She does have limits. “I don’t want to stray away from the stuff that works for me,” Gonzalez said. “Every now and then, I’ll post stuff that works online, but I don’t want to take attention away from the stuff that people like. flavor@sacurrent.com
C E L E B R AT I N G A L L W E E K L O N G
Mother’s Day MAY 7 TH
Shops open until 7 PM DJ Steven Lee Moya
Spoil Mom even more with a meal made just for her from one of our amazing restaurants.
sacurrent.com • May 6-12, 2015 • san antonio Current 33
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34 san antonio cURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
FOOD
Fresh Pastries
MOLTO BENE
Free Coffee
Breakfast & Lunch Croissants
Rio de Gelato’s Saccharine Charm JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS
Their hours of operation are what initially kept me away from Rio de Gelato. The small gelateria and pizzeria reopened in December at a new location at the corner of Nueva and Navarro. Their bright pink signage and proximity to three parking lots was appealing, but my timing seemed to be off during most of my attempts. After a reader (not quite kindly) pointed out our egregious mistake of not including Rio de Gelato in a Flavors change often, but don’t miss the Spiaggia if available. downtown eatery roundup, I decided to make it a crisp and sturdy crust doesn’t hurt, point to visit the location either. My co-worker and I ordered posthaste (so yeah, bitching to your local a pizza so we could check out other food writer does work from time to time). offerings — the special only features Open from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tuesday cheese and pepperoni — but the pie through Thursday, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. was underwhelming. On paper, the Friday, noon to 9 p.m. Saturday and pizza fiamma with bell pepper, sausage, noon to 7 p.m. Sunday, Rio de Gelato pepperoni, prosciutto and oven-roasted really does require a planned visit tomatoes sounded amazing, but the unless you’re within walking distance results were a bit of a dud and we of the shop. But once inside, the space couldn’t find a hint of prosciutto. At $21 comes alive with the smell of doughy for a large 16-inch pie, that oversight goodness and sweets in the form of was a bit too much to forgive. gelato and cannolis. As its moniker would suggest, the Owner Alfredo Pisano was the only shop knows its way around ice cream. staffer present, working both front Colleague Albert “I visited Italy once” and back of the house and though Salazar (who also happens to have an he may have come off a bit frazzled, Italian minor) raved about the gelato his lunch special wasn’t affected by spread, which included crema bourgeois, the sudden rush of attorneys and a dolciani and a spiaggia. Literally downtown dwellers that filled the tiny meaning “beach,” the spiaggia included dining room. Our slices came out in a raspberry, pistachio and sweet cream. matter of minutes, while we noshed on Had I not had to return to the office, the a chocolate-dipped cannoli (Pisano’s gelato would have made for a fun treat to mother’s recipe: “She’s gone, but the enjoy strolling through downtown. cannoli lives”). Come for the pizza, but stay for The pizza is honest. Two slices and a the sweets at Rio de Gelato, drink will put you back just over where your hardest choice will $9. Pisano uses a mild, large be which gelato combination and thinly sliced pepperoni Rio de Gelato to pick. which helps set it apart from 102 Navarro St. flavor@sacurrent.com other pies in the vicinity. The (210) 223-0800
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sacurrent.com • May 6-12, 2015 • san antonio Current 35
FOOD
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FOOD GALORE
Tasty Changes To Culinaria’s Festival Week JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS
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in May Every Day 2-for-1 iced drinks after 3p.m. 15502 Huebner Rd•210.492.9544 • 8434 Fredericksburg Rd • facebook.com/mildfire 36 san antonio cURRENT • May 6-12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
The foodie bacchanal known as Culinaria’s Festival Week (May 13-May 17) is around the corner and I know two things for certain: You need a game plan and you’ve got to be ready for the unexpected. For starters, all the favorites are back albeit with some interesting tweaks. Paired wine dinners will be held Wednesday, May 13 at Bliss (926 S. Presa St., 210-225-2547), Boiler House Texas Grill & Wine Garden (312 Pearl Pkwy., Building 3, 210-354-4644) and the newly-opened Southerleigh Fine Food & Brewery (136 E. Grayson St., Suite 120, 210-455-5701) and Thursday, May 14 at Arcade Midtown Kitchen (303 Pearl Pkwy., 210-369-9664), Stella Public House (1414 S. Alamo St., 210-277-7047) and newcomer J Prime Steakhouse (1401 N. Loop 1604 W., 210-764-1604). Thursday’s laidback mobile feast returns to the Alon Market on Military Drive from 6 to 9 p.m. ($10 for adults, $5 for minors, free for children under 5) with B Daddy’s BBQ, Cheesy Janes, Crepe Nation, Duk Truck, Sabor Colombiano, Say She Ate, Sir-Wacha, Slider Provider, Tailgate Bistro, Wheelie Gourmet, Where Y’at and Cupcake Vineyards’ mobile trailer with swag and wine samples. Take a pal, sample wines and treats and purchase goodies from some of the city’s most established food trucks. Friday’s Best of Mexico is back for another year at The Shops at La Cantera (15900 La Cantera Pkwy., $50 per person). Before sampling antojitos from more than 12 restaurants including El Mirador, El Machito and La Tequilera del Patron from 7-10 p.m., festival-goers can opt to indulge in a Tequila Happy Hour at The Residents at La Cantera’s rooftop ($35 per person, 5:30-6:30 p.m., 6215 Via La Cantera) with tequila tastings, info on the spirit and more. Think of it as pre-gaming. The biggest change to Saturday’s lineup — which includes the swanky early-access Bubble Room Grand Tasting (6-10 p.m., $150, also includes access to Jason Dady’s Shuck Shack after-party) and the Grand Tasting (7-10 p.m., $100) — is the addition of The Tasting Rooms at the Grotto adjacent to the Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center, Ballroom 007, from 1-4 p.m. For $50, attendees can check out demos and chef conversations with Michael Sohocki (Kimura, Restaurant Gwendolyn) and chef Andon Whitehorn (Nani, Oklahoma City), take hands-on cocktail and wine seminars or visit the cinema district, where food and booze flicks will be playing throughout the event. To end the weekend, Sunday’s lineup includes the slider-happy Burgers & Beer event (pour a cold one out for “BBQ,” which didn’t make the cut this year) at The Pearl ($45 adults, $25 students, $10 for minors and free for kids under 5, 1-4 p.m., 200 E. Grayson St.). Wear loose shirts and sundresses for this one. If you’ve got an appetite left after all of this, or if you’d rather just stick to seated dinners, Casa Hernan (411 E. Cevallos St.) will host a dinner between chef Johnny Hernandez and Jeret Peña. Expect “tequila, tequila, tequila” during this casual event ($125, 6-9 p.m.). Visit culinariasa.org for details and tickets. flavor@sacurrent.com
FOOD
FLAVOR FILE VERONICA GASKEY
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JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS
Mother’s Day weekend kicks off with the fifth annual Twisted Taco Truck Throwdown on Saturday, May 9, from 4 p.m. to midnight. Held at VFW Post 76 at 10 th Street, the event hosts some of the city’s best taco trucks, all competing for the title of either Grand Champion, People’s Choice or Freestyle winner. From 4 to 8 p.m. participating trucks will sell al pastor tacos for $1. Proceeds from the day’s event, which will include tacos from past winners and late-night favorites, will benefit the VFW Post 76 Veteran Relief Fund. Enjoy cool beers, hot tacos and most of San Antonio’s taco-loving crowds all in one fell swoop. When it comes to treating the most important lady in everyone’s lives to a fun Mother’s Day meal, the options are piling up. Robbie Nowlin and his team at Citrus at Hotel Valencia (150 E. Houston, 210-230-8412) will host a brunch with chilled, hot and sweet selections including charcuterie, oysters, brioche French toast and more from 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Prices start at $69.96 for adults, $34.95 for kids 6-12 and free for children under 5. Max’s Wine Dive (340 E. Basse Road, Suite 101, 210-444-9547) will feature Mother’s Day entrees such as ultimate “Steak & Eggs” with roasted prime rib over jalapeño cheesy grits, two poached eggs and chipotle hollandaise for $25, crab cake benedict for $19 and cast iron Mexican chocolate sticky buns for $7 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sister restaurant Boiler House Texas Grill & Wine Garden (312 Pearl Pkwy., Building 3, 210-354-4644) will feature a gourmet brunch and chef specials via executive chef Jeff White, ranging from $14 for lemon ricotta pancakes with fresh lemon curd to $19 for a lobster cobb salad. If mom isn’t a morning person, Market on Houston (205 E. Houston St., 210-227-3241) will host a Mother’s Day threecourse dinner with choice of starter, entrée and dessert for $35. Finally, if the mother of your children needs a few drinks, Stone Werks Big Rock Grill plans a special brunch and drink menu from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. with $2.75 mimosas, sangria and bloody marys at all three locations. Glimpse opulent life and help support the San Antonio Food Bank by attending the 20th annual Taste of The Dominion on Thursday, May 14, from 6 to 9 p.m., where 15 restaurants will show off signature bites. You can bid on a huge silent auction and enjoy live music. Tickets ($35) are available at safoodbank.org/ thedominion. flavor@sacurrent.com
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The Most Appreciated lunch from the land of the tequila + the mariachi sacurrent.com • May 6-12, 2015 • san antonio Current 37
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38 San antonio cURRENT• May 6 - 12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
NIGHTLIFE
PATIO BOOZIN’ At Home At My Friend’s Backyard JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS
It was on a particularly sticky San Anto evening about two years ago when I witnessed a patron run into the middle of a small and sweaty crowd and “make it rain” on the dance floor. Fresh-pressed dollar bills, maybe 20 or 30 of them, flurried down to the floor as wildly manicured hands grabbed at the air. The Spandex-clad dancers twerked their way to the floor, grabbing any spare singles that made it through the sea of hands. It “rained” a few more times that night before our party left. That was Bar Central (formerly Da Traxx), where a pat down was required for males, and VJs played the latest club hits on weekends. Plush couches lined the bar’s left side, wonky mirrors, bright strobe lights and a water feature commanded the attention of bar goers. Doors at Bar Central closed last year, but the space reopened in early April as My Friend’s Backyard and so far, the scene has decidedly taken a pleasant turn. For starters, the bar underwent a massive outdoor makeover. Instead of a gray, urban landscape west Like Chamoy in your drinks? This still-unnamed michelada-esque is one of two new concoctions offered at My Friend’s Backyard. of the railroad tracks that cut through San Pedro and Hildebrand, the bar is surrounded by a newly built patio that wraps from front to back with all kinds of outdoor games sprinkled throughout. Large wooden spool tables and pallet furniture fill the gravel-lined venue along with Ziegenbock, Bud Light and a cider were featured on dartboards, giant beer pong and a basketball hoop for draft, while big name domestics and imports were practicing those alley-oops. More pallets line the exterior available in bottles. In an effort to class up the joint, back wall, which is laced with twinkly lights. A set of five ice-cold beer is served in Mason-esque jars. Frozen chain-link wooden swings have been added to the back, margs out of an industrial-size machine were on special opening up even more seating. It’s quaint and rustic and that evening for $2. Though I opted for an additional somehow the same bar where some asshat rear-ended pour of raspberry syrup, my advice is to stick with the my car on my last visit? regular recipe that’s tart and sweet enough without it. If you were a fan of the previous interior decoration, The real stars of the show, though, were the two fret not. The old shower water feature is still around, drinks bartenders have been working on since the apparently a favorite of one of the owners. And the place reopened. It would make sense for the bar that’s wonky mirrors are still there, though the focus now is moved right across the street from Frozen Fridays sports and a convivial spirit. This was evident during (this year’s second place winner for Best Raspas in last week’s Spurs playoff game when 30 or so fans our Best of San Antonio issue) to cater to its chamoydecked out in jerseys and team shirts filled the venue loving audience. to watch the late-starting game on one of the joint’s 10 One of the drinks, La Loca, was a Franken-tail of flat screens. a beast that combined a little of everything. Vodka, Though the sound system experienced a fairly major pickle juice, sour mix and watermelon Pucker made for hiccup during my visit, no one seemed to mind. The a mouth-twisting sip, and the chamoy and chili powderdrinks — I’ll get to these in a second — kept flowing. rimmed glass was a nice touch. A dart tournament kicked off at around 10:30, with The other drink, a yet-to-be-named concoction served I may have spent $10 the whole night, but I was in several participants trying their luck at the in large fishbowl glassware, was equally great company with fellow Spurs fans watching a nailboards while the crowd stayed lively as the sour-filled. It was basically a chamoy-based biting game and enjoying the new, safe and tempered Spurs kept swapping leads with the Los michelada with sour strawberry tape, My Friend’s sports bar that’s replaced loose dollar bills with sour Angeles Clippers. adorned with a tamarindo stick and topped Backyard candy in their drinks. flavor@sacurrent.com The beer offerings were simple. Modelo, with an inch-long chunk of dill pickle. 442 W. Hildebrand Ave. sacurrent.com • May 6 - 12, 2015 • san antonio cURRENT 39
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No doubt about it, artisanal American brewing is defined by its hop lust. From Dogfish Head’s patented dry-hopping contraption to the proliferation of West Coast IPAs, those little green cones have provided both a national beer identity and approximately 56 percent of all punny beer names. Despite the centrality of this ingredient, though, the varieties of IBU experience can be perplexing: What distinguishes Tettnang and Saaz from Bramling Cross? Dry hop or wet hop? Do all the U.S. strains begin with a “C”? While it would be impossible to answer all such questions in this column, your humble beer correspondent elected to submit himself to a hop tea taste test in order to investigate our national love for bitter extremes. Hop tea is easy to make. Visit your friendly neighborhood homebrew supply store, where hops are sold by the ounce as either loose leaves or concentrated pellets. Then choose from any number of European, American or Australian varieties (Hopunion’s website can help you navigate your options). A ratio of half an ounce of hop to 16 ounces of water ensures maximal steeping and lets your shaker pint glass pull double duty. Let the tea sit for 10 to 15 minutes, strain out the boggy murk at the bottom, then imbibe. I opted for Chinook, Amarillo and Cascade pellets, all uniquely American strains that appear in a plethora of brewing recipes. Indeed, all three are the result of Yankee ingenuity. Amarillo was nurtured in Washington State’s Yakima Valley (the Holy Land of U.S. hop crops) by Virgil Gamache Farms; Cascade and Chinook both grew out of Oregon State University’s agriculture program. They all looked the same in the glass, though — the hazy hazel of an unfiltered hefeweizen, a little bit of hop oil swirling around the surface. After taking a minute to let them cool and brace myself for face-imploding bitterness, I took a sip of Cascade. Bitter, certainly, but also spicy, earthy and a little bit meaty, like the ingredients in a good Italian dish. The Amarillo was lighter on the palate and recalled no-sodium chicken stock, plus the plucky characteristics of a classic American IPA. After picking some hop husks out of my teeth and a good distilled-water mouth rinse, I went for the Chinook, which tasted like a few flower petals had gotten mixed up in the bag; despite being a dual purpose instead of merely aromatic hop, it was the least aggressive of all three. A little of each certainly went a long way. After taking in about two ounces of each glass, I had reached my limit and proceeded to hop (ha!) into bed and have some seriously strange dreams.
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MUSIC
IS ANYBODY GOIN’ TO SAN ANTONE? Finding The Elusive Bob Dylan In The Heritage Of SA Music A young man with an imagined name in an illadvised corduroy hat. A Freewheelin’ iconoclast making impeccable art with a jaw and wit like a razor. A recluse. A Born Again. An old man on an endless tour, posing as a wizened cowboy figure. Since his debut in 1962, Bob Dylan has been a man of masks, using his personas to eek out some new creative truth. But with each new milestone or misstep, he remains aloof, carving at the emotions of his characters but rarely his own. Asking us, “How does it feel? ” but refusing to answer the question. “The masks make it easier for him to perform,” said David Yaffe, a Syracuse University humanities professor and author of Like a Complete Unknown, a cultural study of Bob Dylan, né Robert Zimmerman. “When you see him playing ‘Visions of Johanna’ acoustic back in 1966, he’s pouring everything he has into it. But when you have a character you’re playing, it’s liberating.” His newest character is something of a lounge singer. On Shadows in the Night, Dylan’s 36th studio album, he tackles the snap-a-long crooner songbook of Frank Sinatra. The initial public response was quizzical, akin to the sports world collective jaw-dropping when Michael Jordan defected from hoops for minor league baseball. Consistent with Dylan’s elusive tendencies, the recording process for the standards effort was all under wraps. Dan Fornero, a trumpeter and session musician, recalled the live recording of the album. “For certain artists, they don’t tell you who’ll you’ll be playing with before you enter a session,” Fornero told the San Antonio Current. “The artist doesn’t want to broadcast that he’s even in town … but when it’s on a level like Bob Dylan, it’s gonna get out. So I don’t remember being told that it was for Dylan, but then I came in and thought ‘oh, that’s Bob Dylan right there.’” Over pedal steel guitar and horn accents, Dylan is understated and rough, doing Sinatra his way. Without a gleam of nostalgia or vocal excess, Dylan digs into the American songbook with complete reverence.
He Speaks “I love these songs, and I’m not going to bring any disrespect to them,” 74-year-old Dylan, who rarely gives interviews, told AARP Magazine earlier this year. “To trash those songs would be sacrilegious. And we’ve all heard those songs being trashed, and we’re used to it. In some kind of ways you want to right the wrong.” Bob Love, the AARP Magazine editor-in-chief who interviewed Dylan for the album, understands Shadows in the Night as another side step of expectations, taking on a pop music tradition he helped dismantle in the ’60s. “I think that’s a little known or little understood point 44 San antonio CURRENT • May 6 - 12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
MATT STIEB/@MATTHEWSTIEB
about Bob Dylan — that he came of age in the ’40s and early ’50s,” Love told the Current. “A lot of that music that didn’t survive the ’60s was really part of who he was musically. Even emotionally. He’s said that he would sneak off to a Barry Goldwater rally or see Billy Graham. These are not things that you would associate with an icon of the ’60s.” Bob Love’s interview with Dylan, the singer’s first sit-down in two years, came about in a rather curious way. With an ace marketer’s awareness of his target demo, Dylan gave the album away to 50,000 AARP members and handpicked Love to speak with him in a Berkeley, California hotel. Over the phone, Love received the address, then the floor, then room number, in a rigmarole suited to a meeting with a The great troubadour channels Frank Sinatra on Shadows In The Night, his 36th studio album. head of state. “When I accepted the assignment to go interview him, I looked at the old interviews,” said Though he’s elusive through most of the hour-long Love. “And if you’re a journalist about to interview him, session, Dylan reveals an important sliver of truth, one those things will give you a heart attack. Because you that was born and bred right here on SA’s South Side. don’t really know what kind of snarling enemy of the press “Are there any young folk singers or rock groups that is gonna be in front of you. But he turned out to be terrific, you would recommend for us to hear?” asks a journalist warm and open in this case.” in the back. For years, Dylan subscribed to a shoot-the-messenger “I’m glad you asked that,” said Dylan, with a laugh philosophy towards the press. On the 1965 classic morphing into a cough. “Oh yea, there’s the Sir Douglas “Ballad of a Thin Man,” Dylan loads a sawed-off shotgun Quintet. I think they’re probably the best.” of insults and reproach, pulling the trigger on those with pencil in hand asking blunt questions. Dylan’s SA Connection In a famous, extended press conference in 1965, Dylan looks awfully bored, messing with interviewers like a cat Sir Douglas, of course, is San Anto native Doug Sahm, toys around with a doomed mouse. In a buttoned-up born six months after Dylan, in November 1941. At the blazer and a disengaged voice that consulted a few too time of Dylan’s glib press conference, Sahm was in his many cigarettes the night before, Dylan responds with faux-royalty days, posing as a mop-top Englishman in short answers and jokes for himself. an attempt to enlist in the British Invasion. Though the
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façade was lifted on a live performance on NBC, Sahm and his San Antonio crew still managed a 1965 hit, “She’s About a Mover.” With 15 weeks on the chart in the U.S. and over three million units sold in Europe, much of the English-speaking world agreed with Dylan. With a trued backbeat, wildman organ and untameable spirit from Doug Sahm, Dylan found inspiration in the San Anto crew. “Bob Dylan saw Doug as authentic right out of the box in the middle of Doug’s most fake period, trying to pass himself off as British with the Sir Douglas Quintet,” Joe Nick Patoski, director of All About the Groove, a forthcoming doc on Sahm said in an interview. “Dylan saw completely through that.” Meeting sometime in 1965, the pair found solace in each other’s company. Dylan, forever in search of the authentic in American music, found the real thing in the football-chinned San Antonian. Sahm was looking for just the same, what he called “the groove” in his own argot. Performing with Hank Williams Sr. and learning from San Anto soul icon Spot Barnett, Sahm had a pitch-perfect ear and a flawless track record in real-deal music. “I think they both found something with each other that they really liked,” said Margaret Moser, Tex Pop curator and founding music editor of the Austin Chronicle. “They were both these rebels that came out of places that didn’t accept what they were all about and yet what they were all about was where they came from, as much as anything else. Dylan’s search for authenticity is really clear in his music and has always been part of his goal and vision. It’s easy to see why he would see that in Doug Sahm, who absolutely was of the Texas earth.” Shawn Sahm would have an idea about that. Doug’s son and protégé, he speaks in the same jive idiom as
Dylan’s search for authenticity is really clear in his music and has always been part of his goal and vision. It’s easy to see why he would see that in Doug Sahm, who absolutely was of the Texas earth – Margaret Moser, Curator, South Texas Popular Culture Center
Bob Dylan and San Antonio’s Doug Sahm in action, recording the 1973 album Doug Sahm and Band in New York City.
his father, slipping between dubbing him “Doug” and “dad” — a lingual byproduct of growing up with a Texas musical icon. “I believe that people like Bob Dylan and Jerry Garcia, people who are very musical-minded people, very into the real thing, I think they kinda gravitated towards Doug Sahm,” Shawn told the Current. “Guys like my dad, they came from that old school world. He started playing Western Swing as a child, he did the blues thing, he did the rock thing, the Tornados. When you put all that together, Doug was the kind of cat that musicians just gravitated towards ‘cause he was such a musical guy.’”
Lyrical Collaboration It took seven years for the pair to work together, on Sahm’s 1973 Atlantic début, Doug Sahm and Band. Recorded in New York, Sahm’s third solo album is a manic self-portrait of a man filled with different styles of music, trying to pack a lifetime of American roots into 45 minutes. Dylan contributes the heartbroken “Wallflower,” a tune of sobbing banjo and Augie Meyers’ consoling organ. “Wallflower, wallflower, won’t you dance with me?” sing Dylan and Sahm, splitting the bill. “I’m sad and lonely
too.” Singing into the same microphone, they sound like a couple bloodhounds baying over the thorns in their paws. Doug Sahm and Band was a vital cameo for Dylan, helping to coax him out of a reclusive period. Shortly after recording with Sahm, Dylan entered the studio for Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid, his first effort since 1970. “He showed up at these sessions and all of a sudden, people were saying ‘hey what’s going on,’” said Shawn Sahm. “And the reality was he was just hanging out with his buddy Doug.” More importantly, Dylan’s experience with the Doug Sahm band altered his direction in music for years to come, helping place the troubadour on an instrumental groove. In an interview for Slow Train Coming, a documentary on Dylan’s Born Again music, iconic producer Jerry Wexler recalls a moment during the Doug Sahm and Band recording. “I’ve done the word trip, I wanna do the music trip,” Dylan told Wexler. Since then, Dylan’s records have largely been band records, with a murderer’s row of deft musicians backing the great wordsmith of American music. To see Dylan on the endless tour is to see his band exploring the catalogue, with Dylan’s voice as just another instrument. sacurrent.com • May 6 - 12, 2015 • San antonio cURRENT 45
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using bookworms … He can bring a song, certainly any one of mine, into the real world. I’ve loved his playing going all the way back to the Sir Doug days when he was featured and dominant. What makes him so great is that internally speaking, he’s the master of syncopation and timing. And this is something that cannot be taught.” In his first SA show since April of 2006, one can only hope that Dylan will bring out Meyers to fish with bookworms, navigate through shipping lanes and solve other riddles. Hopefully, he’ll play some organ, too.
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Apart from his de facto influence on anyone who’s picked up a pen and guitar since “Mr. Tambourine Man,” there’s been a great deal of diffusion from Bob Dylan to San Antonio. In 2002, country musician Bob Livingston started the Bob Dylan Birthday Bash in San Antonio. On May 22 that year, musicians of all genres gathered to celebrate the great Dylan in 2012. American bard, with funds going to the Children’s Hospital of San Antonio. Named after Dylan’s ’83 album Infidels, Michael Martin and his band were favorites of the mini-fest. “We Augie And Flaco were Bob Dylan freaks,” Martin told the Current. The rules were you had to play Of course, to speak of San Antonio’s Bob Dylan songs.” influence on Bob Dylan and not mention Though it’s now defunct, the Dylan Doug Sahm’s captains Augie Meyers bash was held in Casbeers at the and Flaco Jiménez would be downright Church, a puro San Antonio spot that reckless. On organ and accordion, this shuttered in 2011. But that Tex-Mex pairing was the essence of authenticity onda that Dylan first fell for in 1965 is Dylan looked for in musicians. alive and well. “I think what’s most important “We’ve joined generica in so many to recognize is how the other guys ways, but I still think we’ve got more affected Dylan,” said Patoski, the roots musically then most anywhere director of the upcoming doc on else in the United States,” said Patoski, Dylan. “Flaco rubs off on everybody. who’s from Wimberley. He’s a secret weapon. He changed Case in point: anyone can go check the sound of Nashville, you hear him out a legend’s brother playing live while on Rolling Stones, Buck Owens, chatting up the neighborhood butcher. Dwight Yoakum.” “You wanna see something cool? Go On his inverted key color Vox organ, down to Carnitas Uruapan on Sunday Augie Meyers transmitted something mornings and you can hear Flaco’s that simply marveled Dylan. In 1997, brother, Santiago Jimenez. He plays Meyers was featured heavily on Time at a meat market for free three Out of Mind, the Grammyhours. That’s the real shit you winning album generally Bob Dylan might recommend that Dylan go considered to be the best of Sold out ($91-$641 at stop by and see before he gets stubhub.com) Dylan’s elder statesmen days. 8pm Thu, May 7 out of town, if he’s still looking “Augie’s my man,” Dylan The Majestic Theatre for the soul of America.” said after recording Time Out 224 E. Houston St. (210) 226-3333 of Mind in 1997. “He’s like an majesticempire.com mstieb@sacurrent.com intellectual who goes fishing
sacurrent.com • May 6 - 12, 2015 • San antonio cURRENT 47
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MUSIC
ROUND AND ROUNDTABLE
Understanding Pop Weirdo Ariel Pink J.D. SWERZENSKI
What the hell can we make of Ariel Pink? He’s a cracked pop-savant, assembling scraps of half-forgotten Billboard hits around pyscho-babble lyrics in inexplicably alluring ways. A troll of the first order, as likely to throw shade at Madonna as to defend the LA pop provocateur Ariel Pink. rights of the Westboro Baptist Church; an unabashed creep, who can make He’s taken far more heat, however, for a charming request like “Put Your his public comments, which have seen Number In My Phone” into a dirty old him call out electronic artist Grimes for man’s come-on. But in spite of — or “over-reacting” to sexist comments, claim occasionally because of — these antics, to have been maced by a feminist and fire Ariel Pink matters, and it isn’t just a off absurdist claims to The Fader about matter of shock value. wanting to find a girl who’d “stay home Let’s start with his music, which is and make French fries and have babies.” characteristically about as unplaceable For many, he became a beta-male as the dude himself. Hyper-Pink fans misogynist, passively perpetuating gender have long fetishized the small truckload stereotypes in the guise of edginess. of hometapes the LA-based singerGiven a scan of his lyric sheet, songwriter produced in the late ’90s irreverence seems to be the common and early 2000s. Pieces of these barely thread. But there’s a bit more going on decipherable works eventually were under the surface. Take Before Today assembled Frankenstein-style into deep cut “Menopause Man,” in which his most accessible record — 2010’s he pleads, “Rape me, castrate me, make Before Today — making a strong case me gay. Lady, I’m a lady from today.” As for Pink’s status as a bedroom-pop friend and fellow pop-weirdo John Maus Brian Wilson. But if Before Today, and elaborated through a tweet attachment, its ostensible hit “Round and Round” the track affirms a larger theme of sexual remain his most recognizable work, it’s ambiguity in Pink’s work. last year’s pom pom which feels like his “What he affirms and defends most representative. in everything, precisely, are the The 80-minute release stands as a innumerable queers that residues flippant epic, with Pink running through of a sexual economy ordered to the ultraviolent glam-rockers (“Not Enough sanctioned identities of ‘man’ and Violence”), surf rock send-ups (“Nude ‘woman’ only ever violently arrest,” Beach A-Go-Go”) and oddly earnest Maus posted. bubblegum love letters (“One Summer That might be high-minded praise for Night”) in a way that keeps even the the guy who wrote “Dinosaur Caremost out-there styles locked into his Bears” and “Butt-House Blondies.” But own odd orbit. his deconstructionist take on sexual Then there’s the matter of sexuality, identity at least stakes a claim, undoubtedly Pink’s most something that can’t be said controversial element. Lyrically, Ariel Pink about your average Tame he mostly takes on the subject $15 Impala or War on Drugs track. with the maturity of a horny 7pm Sun, May 10 Paper Tiger Within the sterile world of indie 13-year-old (he’s actually 36), 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. rock, he’s a much-needed heard clearly on the gleefully papertiger.queueapp. provocateur, setting fire to immature “Symphony of the com everything — including himself. Nymph” and “Sexual Athletics.”
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Father
Mike WiLL’s ubiquitous producer tag has nothing on the creepy “Forgive Me Father” confessional that stamps many of the emcee’s weirdo songs. Originally known as Father’s Liquor Cabinet, the Atlanta rapper employs his freak-funk comedy all over the 2014 breakout effort Young Hot Ebony. Like Father’s sense of humor, the album owes a good deal to the trailblazing stupidity and constant brilliance of Lil B, with singsong non-sequiturs and song names like “Why Can’t I Cry $$$.” In the video to the 2014 hit “Look At Wrist,” Father makes the connection explicit, doing the Lil B cooking dance in his ATL living room. “Want my wrist so cold pneumonia in my fist,” rhymes Father, jumping over the logical middle ground of his analogy, expecting us to follow suit. With Maxo Kream, Crit Life, KC$B, and Team Next. $20-$25, 8pm, Phantom Room, 2114 N. St. Mary’s, prekindle.com —Matt Stieb
Wednesday, May 6
Chicago Of all the accolades given to
Chicago over the years, no higher praise has been given to the band then a quote from Jimi Hendrix in 1968: “Jeez, your horn players are like one set of lungs and your guitar player is better than me.” Majestic Theatre, 7:30pm
Hollywood Undead Founded in 2005,
LA rap-rock crew Hollywood Undead is an unfortunate and living reminder that rap-rock disseminated to a second generation. Alamo City Music Hall, 7pm
Killer Moon This Chicago band is a
response to Jim Morrison’s early exit stage left in 1971. The song “Heavy Trip” feels like an underwater tornado of sound. Paper Tiger, 8pm
Jonny Lang In 2006, blues guitarist Jonny
Lang won the Grammy for Best Rock or Rap Gospel Album, an award that shouldn’t exist because of the inherent contradiction between the words “Best” and “Rock or Rap Gospel Album.” That being said, Lang can undoubtedly shred. Aztec Theatre, 7pm
Midtown Jazz Sound Drummer John
Fernandez, leader of Midtown Jazz Sound, returns to Soho for the sixth year of residency at the downtown club. Soho, 10:30pm
Toro Flores & Miguel Garza Toro Flores
and Miguel Garza team up for a capable evening in six-string jazz. Urban Taco, 6pm
Thursday, May 7
Chris Knight 54-year-old Kentuckian Chris
Knight writes gothic-tinged country rock as raw emotionally as it is sonically. The guitars bite like old school outlaws mixed with backwoods deliverance. A late-comer to music (he’d been in mining), Knight made his debut in ’98 and released six albums within the next decade. He’s slowed a little since releasing 2012’s fine Little Victories. It sketches a world of incipient dread and self-reliance in sparse, frank language from “In the Mean Time” to “You Can’t Trust No One” and “Out of This Hole,” (“I’m digging myself out of this hole; they say it can’t be done, but what do they know?”) River Road Icehouse, 6pm
Follakzoid, Mount Sherpa Up from Chile
on a summer (or winter) tour, Follakzoid combines flailing psych guitars with the strict rhythm section of krautrock. Where the German bands used the backbeatloving Motorik rhythm to maintain a clear head, Follakzoid repurposes it as a V-2 rocket engine blasting into what they call “Cosmic Music.” Their new single, “Electric,” is a beautiful work of longform psych, serving as the opener of their impending release III. Throughout the 2013 EP Tabor’s Head, Mount Sherpa pulls off impressive shifts in direction, shaking loose on a powerful doom metal riff or a soothing drone. With How I Quit Crack. Paper Tiger, 9pm
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AT SACURRENT.COM
52 San antonio CURRENT • May 6 - 12, 2015 • sacurrent.com
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Lynwood King SA frontman Lynnwood
King ditches The Heroine for this quiet evening at the former punk spot. Viva Tacoland, 8pm
Psychostick Tempe, Arizona outfit
Psychostick describes their tunes as “humorecore,” inserting a few laughs into the sometimes too-serious genre of metal. With Downtown Brown, Urizen, Bit Force. The Korova, 8pm
Saliva In 2001, Saliva released “Click Click
Boom,” a rap-metal anthem for angry dudes with braided goatees everywhere. Alamo City Music Hall, 7pm
The Suite feat. DJ Gibb and Donnie Dee
Two of SA’s finest soul and funk jockeys deliver a Thursday night soundtrack in original funky drummers. Southtown 101, 10pm
Ulterior Motive SA quintet Ulterior
Motive works in a high-energy jazz groove, demanding all attention from a nightclub’s audience. Carmen’s de la Calle, 8:30pm
Friday, May 8
Bubble Puppy Named after a children’s
game in Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, psychedelic rock ‘n’ rollers Bubble Puppy formed in 1966 to help steer the South Texas psych scene toward relative commercial success. Their ’68 hit “Hot Smoke and Sassafras,” a viciously tight, wandering tune of fantasy imagery and self-discovery, went to number 14 on the Billboard Chart and earned Houston’s International Artists label its greatest hit. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm
Cherrelle, Glenn Jones Signed to Tabu
Records in 1983, Cherrelle scored a few hits with “Never Knew Love Like This” and “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On.” Glenn Jones’ ’80s discography is swathed in wind chimes and deliciously corny keyboard settings. Carver Community Cultural Center, 7pm
Cirque de la Symphony This daredevil
circus vists the Tobin for an evening in acrobatics soundtracked by the San Antonio Symphony. Tobin Center, 8pm
Chunk! No, Captain Chunk! Paris’ Chunk! No, Captain Chunk! is one of the few metalcore acts to make its home outside the anglophone world. With Hit The Lights, Forever Came Calling To The Wind. The Korova, 6pm
D.T. Buffkin, Junkie San Anto singer D.T.
Buffkin continues in the heavy blues and rock ‘n’ roll legacy of Doug Sahm and Augie Meyers, trying the grain of his voice against stomping brush rhythms. On lead guitar, trust Roland Delacruz to deliver crisp melodic lines. SA weed-rockers
t h e f l at wat e r f o u n dat i o n p r e s e n t s
Junkie take a page from the Wavves playbook, rhyming “daze,” “blaze,” “craze” and “laze” as frequently as they evoke teenage boredom and catchy guitar riffs on their Bong Dazed EP. With Brian Wilson’s B.B.M. The Mix, 10pm
Henry + The Invisibles SA’s own Henry +
the Invisibles continues to turn in nothing but spectacularly soulful, ridiculously costumed one-man shows. Rebar, 10pm
Electrify Your Strings The passion project of electric violinist and music education advocate Mark Wood, Electrify Your Strings invites music students to put on shows in impressive venues, with ticket sales directly benefitting school music departments. Aztec Theatre, 7pm
KINKY
Lee Ann Womack In 2000, Lee Ann
Womack scored a massive hit with “I Hope You Dance,” winning the Grammy for Best Country Song and earning the Jacksonville, Texas native platinum status. Majestic Theatre, 8pm
MALA RODRÍGUEZ
Los Texmaniacs Bajo sexto player Max
Baca and his band Los TexManiacs celebrate the release of the new record Americano Groove. Alamo Brewery, 6pm
Mystic Braves, The Blank Tapes, Rich Hands Echo Park’s Mystic Braves pens
charming little letters of rock ‘n’ roll in traditional, bubbly psych font. Splitting their time between Los Angeles and San Francisco, The Blank Tapes spend a good deal of time, regardless of setting, getting “Way Too Stoned,” as the single from the 2015 LP Geodesic Dome Piece would suggest. On the 2014 LP Out of My Head, SA’s Rich Hands move their rock retrospective forward a deade, shuffling between the massive guitar glam of T. Rex and solo Lou Reed on “No Harm Blues” and album-closer “I Get By” and Ramones-style pop-punk on the album’s first single, “Teenager.” 502 Bar 9pm
XIMENA Sariñana
Ookay In his EDM sets, it’s hard to parse out where Ookay’s source material ends and the remix begins, making for a statement on the thin line between art and appropriation, or just something really boring. Alamo City Music Hall, 8:30pm
enjambre
Saturday, May 9
Blackberry Smoke Since 2004, Atlanta
country rock outfit Blackberry Smoke has earned a consistant spot on the Billboard country chart. Aztec Theatre, 7pm
Grupo Fantasmo Austin nonet Grupo
Fantasmo is one of the finest Latin funk collectives around, with appearances on Weeds, Breaking Bad and backing Prince, Maceo Parker and GZA in concert. In 2011, the band’s El Existential won the Grammy for Best Latin Album. Paper Tiger, 7pm sacurrent.com • May 6 - 12, 2015 • San antonio cURRENT 53
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MUSIC
Hayes Carll Woodlands native Hayes Carll
writes Americana with a bite. “Smoking on a cigarette, talking bout the deficit,” he sings on “Another Like You,” showing his conversational ease. Gruene Hall, 9pm
Star Wars Night If SA electronic duo
Calico Club does even a minute of John Williams’ iconic string score, admission will all be worth it. With Calico Club, Rivers Want, ALR Boosh and the Boosh Kidz. 502 Bar, 10pm
Serenta Para Las Madres Mariachi stars Angelica Vargas, Jackelyn Barrera, Vanessa Cerda Alonzo, William Carlton Gálvez and Mariachi Aztlán will pay homage to Mother’s Day with relevant maternal material. Majestic Theatre, 9:30pm
Slowlikefire Album Release SA rock ‘n’
rollers Slowlikefire (featuring Current Ad Operations Manager Jaime Monzon) celebrates the release of their sophomore album City of Echoes. With Tera Ferna, Langton Drive, Dawn of the Phoenix, Secrets and Irises. The Korova, 8pm
Sons of Hercules Lead by singer Frank
Pugliese, SA’s Sons of Hercules are something of a legend in South Texas punk. With Gay Sportscasters, Dark Planes. Paper Tiger, 8pm
Wood and Wire Austin outfit Wood and
Wire puts a hi-fi lens to traditional mountain, hillbilly and country music, all with a Ken Burnsian appreciation for oldtimey American culture. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm
Sunday, May 10
Doc Watkins Trio Unlike some jazz
musicians whose claim to a doctorate is just a nickname (looking at you, Dr. Lonnie Smith) and others who have won honorary degrees (congrats, Sonny Rollins!), Brent ‘Doc’ Watkins has a doctorate in music from UT Austin. It’s a degree he’s put to good use, swinging viciously on his piano or Hammond B3 rig. Esquire Tavern, 3pm
Roddy Radiation and the Ska Rebels
Most likely you know Roddy Byers from his role as guitarist in The Specials, the 2 Tone/ska act that helped push the music to the top of the charts in the UK. But since 2003, Roddy has been doubling down with The Ska Rebels, mixing his proven genre with rockabilly. The Korova, 8pm
Samantha Fish Kansas City guitar rocker Samantha Fish shreds something fierce on her new effort Black Wind Howlin’. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm
Monday, May 11
Jim Cullum Jazz Band Playing the music of King Oliver, Louis Armstrong, Sidney Bechet and Bix Beiderbecke, cornetist Jim Cullum is a leader among a growing community of trad jazz players. Tucker’s Kozy Korner, 7-10pm
Kinky Founded in 1998, Monterrey Latin-
rockers Kinky are trailblazers of the un-Googleable band name. With Daniela Spalla. The Korova, 8pm
Small World Led by drummer Kyle Keener and guitarist Polly Harrison, Small World places world music in the jazz setting. The band features music from the Great American Songbook and bossa nova sung in the original Portuguese. Olmos Bharmacy, 7:30pm
The Stargazers This week at Sam’s swing
night, Austin outfit The Stargazers brings a rockabilly twang to swing dancing. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm
Tuesday, May 12
...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead After a decade spent slowly
slipping into prog-rock absurdity (for reference, their 2011 album Tao of the Dead featured a steam-punk, renegade fox with a laser gun on its cover), Austin’s Trail of Dead is back to rocking the fuck out on the 2014 album IX. With Your Favorite Enemies, Boyfrndz. The Korova 8pm
502 Bar 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com Alamo Brewery 202 Lamar, (210) 827-5589, alamobeer.com Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston, alamocitymusichall.com Aztec Theatre 201 E. Commerce, (210) 760-2196, theaztectheatre.com Carmen’s De La Calle 320 N. Flores, (210) 281-4349, carmensdelacalle.com Carver Community Cultural Center 226 N. Hackberry, (210) 207-7211, thecarver.org Esquire Tavern 155 E. Commerce, (210) 222-2521, esquiretavern-sa.com Gruene Hall 1281 Gruene, New Braunfels, (830) 606-1281, gruenehall.com Majestic Theatre 224 E. Houston, (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com Olmos Bharmacy 3902 McCullough, (210) 822-1188, olmosrx. com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St. Mary’s, papertiger.queueapp.com Rebar 8134 Broadway, (210) 320-4091, rebarsatx.com River Road Icehouse 1791 Hueco Springs Loop, New Braunfels, (830) 626-1335, riverroadicehouse.com Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson, (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com Soho 214 W. Crockett, (210) 444-1000 Southtown 101 101 Pereida Street, (210) 263-9880 The Korova 107 E. Martin, (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The Mix 2423 N. St. Mary’s, (210) 735-1313 Tobin Center 100 Auditorium, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org Tucker’s Kozy Korner 1338 E. Houston, (210) 320-2192, tuckerskozykorner.com Urban Taco 290 E. Basse, (210) 332-5149, dinedsrg.com Viva Tacoland 103 W. Grayson, (210) 368-2443, vivatacoland.com
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Male here, 21 years old. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We have somewhat kink-themed sex, though nothing too intense. My girlfriend is very submissive, and I’m more on the submissive side myself, so we have done only light bondage and light flogging. Recently, my girlfriend and I had a fight, and while things were still kind of heated, she suggested I “punish” her by spanking her, which I did, and we wound up having a much better, calmer conversation after the spanking. The next day, she proposed that this be something we do more often. I am not certain about all the dynamics at play here. Is this a healthy approach to resolving conflict? We already do a bit of kink, and there would be two consenting partners. But at the same time, I don’t want to be an abusive boyfriend or something. It seemed to help us resolve the conflict — but if we do it more, I’m not sure it would play out as well. It happened only that one time, so I haven’t moved forward on it. I’m uncertain whether it would be good for our relationship. Keeping It Newly Kinky Research conducted at Tilburg University in the Netherlands found that kinky people — people who engaged in consensual submission, bondage, and pain play — scored better on most measures of psychological health than non-kinky
people. So enjoying a spanking, asking for one, giving one on request, etc., isn’t evidence that there’s something wrong with you or your relationship. As for whether it’s a good idea to spank your girlfriend in the heat of an argument, well, that depends on two things: whether she wants to be spanked at those times (gotta keep it consensual) and whether the spanking — for you — represents an extension of the argument or a suspension of the argument. If you’re setting aside the argument to enjoy a spanking — maybe a little conflict gets her blood pumping and turns her on — and then picking it up later, after you’ve both enjoyed a spanking, then I don’t see the harm. Longtime reader, first-time writer. I recently acquired the panties of a young lady after replying to her ad on Craigslist. She’d offered to “enhance” them for me for a small extra charge. They arrived enhanced, all right— heady aroma(s), but nothing truly memory-inducing since I’d never been intimate with her. But I digress. What I’m wondering is if I could “get” anything by holding her undies against my nose? I know the old pregnant-fromsemen-on-a-toilet-seat story is a myth, but these were still moist when I got them. Seeks Needed Info From Friendly Faggot You’re getting a thrill from those panties, SNIFFF, but you’re probably not getting your money’s worth. A friend who helped put herself through school selling “used” panties used a small dollop of mayo to “enhance” the panties she bought and sold in bulk. Caveat emptor, caveat scortator.
On the Lovecast, science PROVES that liberals are happier than conservatives: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter
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JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE SIXTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR PINELLAS COUNTY, STATE OF FLORIDA FAMILY LAW DIVISION IN RE: TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS FOR PROPOSED ADOPTION OF TARYN MARIE HARBIN CASE NO.: 15-1725-FD DIVISION: _______________________________________/ NOTICE OF ACTION FOR PUBLICATION TO: Anthony Brian Harbin DOB: January 21, 1965 Race: White Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Blue Height: 6’3 Weight: (Approximately) 227lbs YOU ARE NOTIFIED that an action for Termination of Parental Rights regarding Taryn Marie Harbin (DOB 05/16/2006: Place of Birth: Tampa , FL), has been filed against you. You are required to serve a copy of your written defenses, if any, to this action on Michael Gonzalez, Esq., Petitioner’s attorney, whose address is 5001 W. Cypress St., Tampa, FL 33607, on or before April 24, 2015, and file the original with the clerk of this court at Pinellas County Courthouse, 315 Court Street, Clearwater, Florida 33756, either before service on Petitioner’s attorney or immediately BOS041101B 1 thereafter; 5/6/2015 otherwise a default will be entered against you for the relief demanded in the petition. CEARLY WARNING: Rule 12.285, Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure, Healthcare requires certain automatic disclosure of documents and information. Failure to comply can result in sanctions, including dismissal or striking of pleadings. DATED this 30 day of March, 2015.
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“TL;DR”— I couldn’t get past the beginning. ACROSS
1 Coin flip 5 Nuremberg number 9 Agent Emanuel 12 ___ Chris Steak House 14 “They went this way” sign 15 Pops 16 Farm refrain 17 Novelist Pier ___ Pasolini 18 Bother 19 Opening of “Anna Kareni...” (TL;DR) 22 “Kate & ___” (‘80s sitcom) 23 Toxic condition 24 Sports car protector 25 Daybreak 28 Prominent stretch 29 Opening of “A Tale of Two Cit...” (TL;DR) 35 Gravy dish 36 They have a flower logo 37 “Come right ___!” 38 Opening of “The Catcher in the R...” (TL;DR) 43 Evergreen State sch. 44 “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” character 45 Bro’s sib 46 Remove, like a rind 49 Gp. that awards the Oscars
51 Opening of “Moby-D...” (TL;D... wait, I think I got the whole thing!) 55 Keats offering 56 Concern 57 Was told 60 Vardalos or Long 61 Students take them 62 Impressive lineup 63 DC ballplayer 64 Sitcom starring Sonny Shroyer 65 “Auld Lang ___”
DOWN
1 Three, in Turin 2 Arles agreement 3 Take off slyly 4 Shameless salesperson 5 Get ___ on the knuckles 6 Trim the borders of 7 Francis I’s jurisdiction 8 Some sweet deals 9 #2 of 44 10 Spokes 11 Winners of a certain show 13 Pool side 14 Shrink’s org. 20 Spiciness 21 “This Is 40” director Judd
22 Trump’s “The ___ the Deal” 24 Netanyahu nickname 26 “This is an awesome ride!” 27 Country hit by a recent earthquake 30 “Don’t forget to bring ___!” (“South Park” catchphrase) 31 “American Hustle” actor 32 Paid periodically 33 Last word of some films 34 Explosive materials 39 Offer from a sharing friend 40 Makes a decision about, in court 41 “Kinsey” star Neeson 42 Company that makes motorcycles, guitars, and snowmobiles 46 Home of the Huskies 47 Gymnastics great Comaneci 48 Crease 50 Jury members 52 What a colon may mean 53 Takes to court 54 Guys 58 Operated, as machinery 59 Turn purple, perhaps
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19):
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22):
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21):
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18):
Benedictine monks observe the Latin motto Laborare est Orare. The 19th-century abbot Maurus Wolter interpreted these words to mean “work is worship” or “work is prayer.” He was trying to impress upon his fellow monks that the work they did was not a grudging distraction from their service to God, but rather at the heart of their devotion. To do their tasks with love was a way to express gratitude for having been blessed with the gift of life. I propose that you experiment with this approach in the coming weeks, even if your version is more secular. What would it be like to feel contentment with and appreciation for the duties you have been allotted?
The hill where I take my late afternoon hikes is teeming with the six-petaled purple wildflower known as the elegant cluster-lily. Every one of them — and there are hundreds — lean hard in the direction of the sun in the west. Should I deride them as conformists that follow the law of the pack? Should I ridicule them for their blind devotion? Or should I more sensibly regard them as having a healthy instinct to gravitate toward the life-giving light? I’ll go with the latter theory. In that spirit, Leo, I urge you to ignore the opinions of others as you turn strongly toward the sources that provide you with essential nourishment.
Physicist Frank Wilczek won a Nobel Prize for his research into quarks, the tiny particles that compose protons and neutrons. The guy is breathtakingly smart. Here’s one of his operating principles: “If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.” Let’s enshrine his advice as your meditation, Sagittarius. I think you’re strong enough and brave enough to go hunting for some new super-rich dilemmas. Yes, they may lead you to commit some booboos. But they will also stretch your intelligence beyond its previous limits, giving you a more vigorous understanding of the way the world works.
There has rarely been a better time than now to refine the art of being your own mommy or daddy. You’re finally ready to take over from the parental voices in your head and assume full responsibility for raising yourself the rest of the way. What do you want to be when you grow up? You may feel a giddy sense of freedom as it becomes clear that the only authority who has the right to answer that question is you.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20):
VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22):
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):
Here’s one of the best things you can do for your mental and physical health: Withdraw your attention from the life that lies behind you, and be excited about the life that stretches ahead of you. Forget about the past, and get wildly inventive as you imagine the interesting future you will create for yourself. Forgive everyone who has offended you, and fantasize about the fun adventures you’ll go on, the inspiring plans you’ll carry out, and the invigorating lessons you hope to learn.
Am I reading the astrological omens correctly? I hope so. From what I can tell, you have been flying under the radar and over the rainbow. You have been exploiting the loopholes in the big bad system and enjoying some rather daring experiments with liberation. At this point in the adventure, you may be worried that your lucky streak can’t continue much longer. I’m here to tell you that it can. It will. It must. I predict that your detail-loving intelligence will paradoxically guide you to expand your possibilities even further.
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20):
LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22):
In 1934, Capricorn baseball player Dizzy Dean was named the Most Valuable Player after winning 30 games. It was a feat that no National League pitcher has repeated ever since. After Dean retired, he was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Never shy about acknowledging his own prowess, he declared that “if you can do it, it ain’t bragging.” It is in this spirit that I invite you to freely expound on your talents and accomplishments in the coming week. You won’t be boasting. You will simply be providing information. And that will ultimately result in you being offered an interesting new opportunity or two.
In the children’s book The Little Engine That Could, a little blue engine volunteers to pull a long chain of train cars up a steep hill, even though it’s not confident it has the power to do so. As it strains to haul the heavy weight, it recites a mantra to give itself hope: “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” The story ends happily. The little blue engine reaches the top of the hill with its many cars in tow and is able to glide down the rest of the way. As you deal with your own challenge, Gemini, I recommend that you use an even more forceful incantation. Chant this: “I know I can, I know I can, I know I can.”
According to the three science fiction films collectively known as The Matrix, we humans suffer from a fundamental delusion. What we think is real life is actually a sophisticated computer simulation. Intelligent machines have created this dream world to keep us in suspended animation while they harvest our energy to fuel their civilization. Now as far as I can tell, this scenario isn’t literally true. But it is an apt metaphor for how many of us seem to be half-asleep or under a spell, lost in our addiction to the simulated world created by technology. I bring this to your attention, Libra, because now is a favorable time to diminish the hold that the metaphorical Matrix has on you. What can you do to at least partially escape your bondage? (Hint: A little more contact with nature could do the trick.)
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): Here’s a confession: I have taken a vow to foster beauty, truth, love, justice, equality, tolerance, creativity, playfulness and hope. To do this work is one of my life goals. I approach it with the devotion of a monk and the rigor of a warrior. Does that mean I ignore difficulty and suffering and cruelty? Of course not. I’m trying to diminish the power of those problems, so I sure as hell better know a lot about them. On the other hand, my main focus is on redemption and exaltation. I prefer not to describe in detail the world’s poisons, but rather to provide an antidote for them. Even if you don’t normally share my approach, Cancerian, I invite you to try it for the next two weeks. The astrological time is right.
PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): The universe has always played tricks on you. Some have been so perplexing that you’ve barely understood the joke. Others have been amusing but not particularly educational. Now I sense a new trend in the works, however. I suspect that the universe’s pranks are becoming more comprehensible. They may have already begun to contain hints of kindness. What’s the meaning of this lovely turn of events? Maybe you have finally discharged a very old karmic debt. It’s also conceivable that your sense of humor has matured so much that you’re able to laugh at some of the crazier plot twists. Here’s another possibility: You are cashing in on the wisdom you were compelled to develop over the years as you dealt with the universe’s tricks.
THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow
SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): In the coming weeks, you may be as alluring and intriguing and tempting as you have been in a long time. I suggest you capitalize on this advantage. Proceed as if you do indeed have the power to attract more of the emotional riches you desire. Assume you are primed to learn new secrets about the arts of intimacy, and that these secrets will make you even smarter and more soulful than you already are. Cultivate your ability to be the kind of trusted ally and imaginative lover who creates successful relationships.
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