UPFRONT
Shannan Leonard), and Councilman
Matt Zone held open houses in Detroit-Shoreway to demonstrate how the newly dubbed Land Code could reshape the surrounding 20-or-so blocks in the next decade. Resident input—”Better landscaping policies,” “Need traffic calming,” “Need pedestrian infrastructure on Lake Avenue”—influenced planners to draft a specific Form-Based code for Detroit-Shoreway, one that included raising the max building height limit (to 7 stories), allowing accessory dwelling units (“granny flats”), and building triplexes and more townhomes.
CLEVELAND WANTS TO BECOME A 15-MINUTE CITY. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? AND HOW DOES IT PLAN ON GETTING THERE?
NO MATTER WHERE YOU LIVE in the city of Cleveland, you should be able to access almost all of your basic needs and desires within a short walk, bike ride, or transit trip.
That is the basic premise of a 15-minute city, which Cleveland is aiming to become.
The problem? A century’s worth of zoning and planning that, in its current state, not only doesn’t allow that to happen but actively works against it.
Centered on the belief that city dwellers should have options when it comes to getting around, the 15-minute city concept originally grew legs in the late 1990s and early 2000s, when New Urbanists like Jeff Speck and Alan Ehrenhalt began writing screeds decrying city planning that revolved around private automobiles. But it was in 2016 when Paris professor Carlos Moreno actually coined the term.
The idea seems pretty logical: Your daycare, your grocery store, your dentist, your pharmacy, the daycare, a bank—all the key amenities of your daily life, the principle dictates, should be reachable within a 15-minute walk, bike ride or transit trip. Not just an automobile.
Matt Moss, manager of Strategic Planning Initiatives at the Cleveland Planning Commission, believes that the local interest stems from a combination of Cleveland’s unrealized potential as a walking city along with a shifting of priorities for a bulk of the city’s younger residents.
“I think the origin of it is most clearly drawn to the pandemic,” Moss said, sitting at a conference room table outside his office. “It was a shock in a lot of ways, one that changed how people thought about things that had sort of always been taken for granted. How they worked. How they spent their time.”
Moss, a geospatial analysis guru who bikes to work daily, is a central figure in City Hall’s gradual buildup to a 15-minute city pitch to city council in the next year. By the end of 2023, Moss and about a dozen of his cohorts are planning to send two key pieces of legislation that would allow Cleveland to further win its goals from a legal standpoint.
One, a test pilot of a 21st century update to Cleveland’s 1929 zoning code in three neighborhoods (Hough, Detroit Shoreway, Fairfax), would change how zoning is done. And two, legislation that would require
developers to build housing with non-car transportation incentives in mind.
As Moss told Scene in a dense twohour interview, a bulk of the reasons why the 15-minute city concept is just now surfacing is because our legacy zoning code—the structural laws that tell developers what they can or can’t build or use on a specific site—is, by design, limiting. It’s why it’s called Exclusionary Zoning: This here can only be a single-family house; that over there can only be an industrial site.
Moss and City Planning’s answer, as begun in a $225,000 partnership with Code Studio, was to adopt, and eventually codify, what’s called Form-Based Code. While its older uncle — exclusionary zoning — solidified a top-down approach to tell Clevelanders what to build and where to build it, Form-Based, Moss said, taps into a data analysis of a specific neighborhood and the “needs and desires” of its residents. (A drug store? A school? A daycare? A decent park?)
Take the Detroit-Shoreway pilot project, for example.
Back in October 2019, Code Studio consultants, CPC staff (then Kyle Reisz, now project manager
The upshot is what, Moss said, wouldn’t be possible under the city’s nearly 96-year-old zoning rules: to build the aforementioned projects in areas where such mixed-use construction is not legal. Sure, developers could get a zoning variance—the “norm,” according to Moss—but dealing with Board of Zoning Appeals takes, on average, upwards of three to four months. In other words, Moss said, it’s a deterrent.
Getting a Cleveland Land Code made official in 2024, Moss said, would remove that variance norm entirely. Constructing mixed-use projects like Church + State, or Waverly & Oak, would be more streamlined, along with arming builders more with locals’ interests in mind.
“[Developers] have very little room to do something that’s perhaps more contextual, more creative,” Moss said. “Everything trends towards the same product based on that. And so what Form-Based Code allows is greater flexibility in terms of what developers can build.”
The ideal would be to build, Moss said, specifically in what’s called Transit Oriented Development areas, spots within a 5-minute walk to an RTA bus station or rail stop. Which is actually more of Cleveland’s 78 square miles than one might think: 40 percent, or 31 square miles, of the city’s land comprises areas close to “high-frequency transit.” (Which Moss defines as arriving in 15-minute intervals.)
It’s the ultimate intention of legalizing the Land Code: to encourage as many developers, with either townhouses, cottage courts or mid-rises in their eyes, to build on long-dormant parking surfaces, used car lots or abandoned Burger King sites to reach the golden benchmark of 15-minute density—30 housing units per acre. (20 units/acre, Moss said, is the “bronze” benchmark.)
The rub, again, goes back to the
problem of “outdated” zoning law, those created by pre-Depression era Clevelanders.
“All that land? You can’t use it,” Moss said, referring to 60 percent of the TOD area. “It’s either industrial, which doesn’t permit housing at all. Or it’s single or two-family [housing], which means you can’t build more than two units within that five-minute walk.”
Assuming the Land Code pilot legislation will pass in council before December, Moss and his CPC team’s second prong of 15-minute legislation is complementary.
Taking a cue from transit-rich megapolises like San Francisco, Moss and his team in writing a Transit Demand Management “menu” for developers hungry to see projects built near the Red Line or bus routes. What was by developer preference in the past would then become law: urging those builders, via a “menu” of auto-alternative options, to think how they’re incorporating 15-minute city ideas into their build.
In a draft of that TDM legislation shown to Scene, if they want their building permits issued, developers would have to choose from a 42 options all assigned point values. Subsidize RTA passes for your tenants? That’s 8 points. Want to provide van pools or shuttles? That’s six. Choose to unbundle parking from the lease? That’s five. (Those values might change as the proposal works its way toward council.)
The latter being a Moss favorite. As the central goal with the new TDM legislation is to eliminate parking requirements entirely.
“Basically what we’re saying to developers is, ‘Build parking if you need it,’” he said. “Right now? They have no choice. They have to build it. But now [with TDM], we’re saying, ‘Build parking if you want.’”
In the end, Moss, who’s keen to point out statistics related to a 1927 zoning map, the goal is a numerical one at its heart. As to reach the ideal of the 15-minute city, or come close to its fruits, Cleveland would have to nurture 25 to 35 housing units per acre, filling up those dry pockets of nothingness, or replacing pre-1939 homes with multi-unit apartments.
Ironically enough, Moss said, the code overhauls and transit-friendly point system is not just a “shift towards more urban form,” he said, but “permitting the city to be what it once was, and what used to be.” That is, as a 1920 zoning map on CPC’s website shows, tiny lots and dense neighborhoods before the alluring call of suburbia.
In the planning commission
conference room, Moss clicks between the map and today’s source, from 2010. The difference between the two is stark. “I mean, this is 1920,” he said, showing a mass array of homes off Lorain Avenue. “This is what the city used to look like. You can see this, all of this used to all be housing!”
He clicks to the 2010 map. The tiny lots grow bigger. “Okay, it’s gone now,” Moss said. His cursors wavers over a big census tract. “Look at all these surface lots,” he said.
–Mark OpreaBallot Initiative Campaign Launched to Give Residents Control Over How Cleveland Spends Part of Its Budget
People’s Budget Cleveland (PB Cle) last Friday officially began collecting signatures to get a ballot initiative before voters in November that would install a charter amendment to give residents a say in how up to $14 million of the city’s annual budget would be spent.
“Giving residents direct power over a small sliver of the city’s budget is not to disregard the nuanced compromises that public officials have to make, the charter amendment for 2% is much, much larger than that,” said PB Cle campaign manager Molly Martin. “It’s about breaking the grip that corporations have on our democracy, especially in states like Ohio whose political leadership is overwhelmingly hostile to communities of color.”
PB Cle will need about 6,000 valid signatures from registered Cleveland voters for the ballot initiative to
can’t have the same people working in the same arenas, you need to have a lot more people with other ideas,” said community organizer Delores Gray. “Everybody should have a chance to make a difference in their neighborhood.”
People’s Budget Cleveland, originally called Participatory Budgeting Cleveland, was formed by activists in 2021 to give residents a say in how city dollars are used. With the support of Mayor Justin Bibb and several council members, the group brought plans for a $5 million pilot program before City Council, but the legislation was ultimately tabled as some in council balked at letting residents participate in the process.
appear in November’s election, and its goal is to collect 15,000 signatures by July 4. To accomplish this, volunteers and paid workers will collect signatures in different neighborhoods around Cleveland and at events like Pride.
If passed, the charter amendment would create an 11-member committee — five selected by city council, five by the mayor, and one city employee — who would gather ideas and organize voting, open to all residents older than 13, on what to use the funds for.
“I think that it would create a better community, people will be able to work together and also will help city council as well because you just
DIGIT WIDGET
27
Longest
<10%
Amount of Ohio college and university teachers and professors who are Black.
223,000 Ohio drivers who have participated in the state’s license amnesty program that lowers or waives fees.
$136 million
Amount of fees they’ve saved.
At the time, Council President Blaine Griffin expressed concern over how the proposed $5 million would be spread equitably across the city, resulting in “more affluent, more populated, more middle-class neighborhoods” receiving more of the funding. Council member Kris Harsh also raised concerns about the pilot program in January.
“I’m actually very, very concerned that this is going to have an antidemocratic effect on our city,” Harsh said at the time. “We cannot send a message that the government doesn’t work and try to get more people in government. Those two messages are not going to work.”
Unlike the proposed pilot program, which would have been funded by ARPA dollars, the charter amendment would designate 2% of the city budget — $14 million, currently — to the People’s Budget.
Council president Blaine Griffin is still staunchly against the idea.
“We, City Council, are the representatives of the People,” he told Signal Cleveland in a statement. “It’s kind of disingenuous, dangerous, and misleading for a group of people to promote themselves as the only group of people that has a relationship and intimate and unique understanding of the needs of our community.”
Organizers say that misrepresents their efforts.
“They need to have transparency. What are you hiding? We’re not trying to take power, we’re trying to assist,” said Gray. “We’re trying to get help for our neighborhoods. I think a lot of it is about them trying to control and being fearful, as well. And it shouldn’t be that way, people should be involved in every aspect of what’s going on.” – Maria
scene@clevescene.com
@clevelandscene
Elena ScottSTUDIO MESS 117?
Leaders of the ambitious Studio West 117 project admit to some early growing pains. Some in Cleveland’s LGBTQ community think that undersells the problems
BY KEN SCHNECK AND MARIA ELENA SCOTTAriana Perez scans quickly over the head of a client seated in the barber chair in front of her. At 4 p.m. on a windy Friday in February, she is wrapping up her last customer of the day.
She spots something not completely to her liking, reaches for a different set of clippers, and smooths over an imperfect line. She moves with confidence, almost stalking around the chair, grabbing just the right tools in her brightly lit Lakewood barbershop.
Only this isn’t Perez’s barbershop. It’s a wellness storefront owned by a friend who let Perez set up a chair to cut clients.
Perez’s actual space sits a mile and a half northeast, in a storefront owned by the Studio West 117 (SW117) project. The website of the $100 million development describes it as a “first-of-its-kind neighborhood created for and by the LGBTQ+ community of Greater Cleveland.”
But with a space full of water damage and asbestos, the threat of legal action and a 10-year lease she can’t escape, Perez is not feeling the sense of LGBTQ+ community promised to her.
“I felt like I wasn’t being seen or heard,” Perez said.
As the Latine first-time business owner struggles to figure out the future of her business, she’s sharing her concerns about SW117 — concerns echoed by other Clevelanders who have also begun to cast doubts on the way in which the development and its owners are making their mark on the community.
Over a two-month span, Cleveland Scene and The Buckeye Flame have interviewed more than 25 people who have been associated with Studio West 117: current employees, former employees and individuals who are either currently serving on or have left the board of the West 117th Foundation, a nonprofit created by the owners of SW117.
We heard allegations of homophobic remarks by managers, stolen drag show ideas and questions about wages. A handful of the complaints were verifiable; many were generalized. All of them were dramatic.
The narrative thread that connected these interviews was a portrait of a project awe-inspiring in its scope, yet imperiled by two “rich white developers” disconnected from the actual needs of a diverse LGBTQ+ community and unwilling to listen to the people whose needs they were purportedly fulfilling.
Our focus remained on a core question: In that disconnect, was actual harm being done?
As word spread that this story was in the works, more Clevelanders began reaching out wanting to share their thoughts. Some lamented that we were writing a hit piece. We weren’t. Others celebrated that we
were taking down Studio West 117. We’re not.
Regardless, Studio West 117 went into damage-control mode.
On April 8, before a draft of this story was even finished, Studio West 117 partners Daniel Budish and Betsy Figgie wrote a note to members and donors advising them of “what we expect to be an unflattering and misinformed article.” The letter addressed many of the issues discussed here — which at that point had largely not been shared publicly with the community — and noted, “As you know, a start-up of our scale and ambition is bound to encounter some growing pains, and we’ve certainly had our fair share.”
The flurry of communication also included an email to Scene’s publisher from someone who identified themselves as part of the project. It read, in part: “Is there anything through sponsorships we can work with you on to have this article not get released?” (Figgie said the sender was a former contractor. Some employees, however, said the sender is Figgie’s boyfriend and still has a relationship with the project. Figgie did not respond to a question about whether they have a relationship.)
But is this more than growing pains? From a major split with its own affiliated nonprofit to more non-disparagement agreements than seemingly exist in all of Hollywood, the guiding question of this inquiry has remained: In trying to create
community, is SW117 actually pushing some LGBTQ+ Ohioans farther apart?
A Big Idea
Daniel Budish and Betsy Figgie beam with pride as they lead a tour on a rainy Friday in March through the active construction zone of the SW117 complex at Hird and Detroit avenues in Lakewood. Their enormous smiles are on par with their goals for the space, which are nothing short of ambitious: to build a thriving destination that will not only be a central gathering space for Cleveland’s LGBTQ+ community (think San Francisco’s Castro District or Chicago’s North Halsted gayborhoods) but also attract visitors to Northeast Ohio. And keep them here.
They stop every few feet to point out features of the 300,000-squarefoot project on the Cleveland/ Lakewood border. Outside, people will gather on the rooftop patio when the weather warms; this is the kitchen where Figgie led a senior meal-prep class; and, of course, here’s the Fieldhouse gymnasium, which hosts everything from pickleball to dance parties.
“A lot of folks my age were leaving town for these other locations, either D.C. or New York, to find, really, these centers of LGBT socialization,” said Budish, the son of Armond Budish, the former executive of Cuyahoga County and Ohio House Speaker.
Budish and Figgie had previous experience building something together: The two had successfully raised the capital to open the
Pivot Center for Art, Dance and Expression in Tremont. With their respective expertise in securing historic tax credits and generating major donor and foundation support, they decided to channel that energy into creating SW117.
“We wanted to be able to do something good for the LGBTQ+ community here,” said Budish.
When they saw that the Phantasy Theater was for sale in 2018, they leapt at the opportunity to purchase the space as the baseline for their vision of an entertainment complex. More major land purchases quickly followed, including the building housing the late-night staple My Friends diner, the funeral parlor a few doors down on Detroit, and the former site of a National Tire and Battery (NTB) just south of the Phantasy.
As they secured financing, including tax increment financing from Lakewood worth up to $5 million, the project was separated into three phases.
• Phase 1: Opened in October 2022, this first phase is centered around the Fieldhouse, a multifunction entertainment space that includes a full gymnasium, private rentable spaces and three restaurant concepts feeding into one dining space.
• Phase 2: Slated for 2025, this next step will feature a renovation of the Phantasy Theater along with themed entertainment spaces, including a fetish bar and a vampire bar with a Louisiana vibe.
• Phase 3: Also slated for 2025, this last phase will see the construction of 100 apartment units situated on the former NTB site. Plans also include LGBTQ+ senior living and a hotel.
“This was always meant to be an ecosystem,” said Budish.
A Foundation — and a Schism
Lauren Tatum agrees to meet us at the Union Club, in a private space downtown; they don’t want to speak at a public cafe where the interview might be seen. Their narrative of the messy history between the West 117 Foundation and SW117 is vastly different from Budish and Figgie’s.
According to Budish, the West 117 Foundation was meant to be a “philanthropic kind of collaborator on [the] LGBT community-based programs” hosted at and by SW117.
But as president of the original board of directors for the West 117 Foundation, Tatum says the
foundation was meant to have its own board, application process and autonomy. The foundation’s mission as stated tax returns is “to generate philanthropic resources to support entrepreneurship, arts, culture, health and human services to create a hub for Cleveland’s LGBTQ+ ecosystem.” SW117 is not specified.
Tatum, the founder and CEO of luxury jewelry brand Bunny Paige, says they were a part of the West 117th Foundation from the start and traces the project’s inception to New York in 2019.
“We all went on a trip together and that was the original little nucleus of the project,” Tatum said, speaking about themselves and their partner, Daniel Houseman, along with Budish, Figgie and former entertainment director for SW117, Dr. Lady J. “That’s where we conceptualized a lot of those first rough draft ideas of what Studio West could be, what we dreamed it to be.”
Notably, of these five, only Budish and Figgie remain involved with SW117, and Tatum says the West 117 Foundation, which is still in operation, intends to change its name to further separate from SW117.
In the beginning, Tatum says, there was no foundation and separate for-profit organization, just an intention to bring together and uplift Cleveland’s LGBTQ+ community.
“How do we keep each other safe? How do we provide support? How do we create and curate safe spaces, systems and programs?” said Tatum.
These questions and a focus on “systemic issues, especially for marginalized communities,” drove the creation of the West 117th Foundation, of which Tatum became board president in May of 2020. The foundation originally had three main projects: an LGBTQ Youth Sports League, a Mural Art Program and a general grant program.
In the beginning, the board had 11 members, including Tatum, and two ex officio members who were local elected officials: Cleveland City Councilperson Jenny Spencer and Dan O’Malley, then president of Lakewood City Council. Today there are just three members left.
In addition to Tatum, a key leader was Steve Sokany, a former Kent State University fundraising executive who served as the West 117th Foundation’s executive director. When Sokany was brought on, Budish and Figgie say they paid his full six-figure salary for the first
three months and, after that, covered 25% of Sokany’s salary as a gift and paid 75% as a loan which the foundation would repay.
However, according to Budish and Figgie, the foundation has never been able to repay the loans.“They really did not raise money,” said Figgie, who says she and Budish did not take action on the unrepaid loans because they did not want to “harm” the community.
But Tatum disputed this version of events.
“The only financial help that they gave us was supporting Steve’s initial goal, and they were welcome to do that,” Tatum said. “There was talk of, ‘Well, if you ever get to a place where you are able to pay it back in some way, that would be cool.’ But there was no formal agreement or anything like that. It was just a conversation and we never got to that point, being a small startup.”
Financial support in general is not something that leadership from SW117 and the West 117 Foundation can agree on. Budish and Figgie identify themselves as major donors to the foundation, while Tatum and foundation Interim Executive Director Brendan Trewella say that, although Budish and Figgie introduced the foundation to donors and helped with networking, they were not major financial backers.
What is clear is that the relationship between SW117 and the foundation soured quickly. According to Budish and Figgie, SW117 was moving at breakneck speed to develop the community, and the foundation simply couldn’t keep up.
“When the rubber met the road, and when [small businesses] actually needed the support from the foundation, it would take
many, many months for any sort of answer to come out of the foundation,” Budish said. “And businesses and small nonprofits need [those funds] in a timely manner.”
However, Tatum and Trewella say SW117 didn’t respect the board’s independence, authority or grant review process, instead expecting the foundation to rubber-stamp grant applications from businesses, like Ariana Perez’s barbershop, that were tied to SW117.
“It became increasingly obvious that our autonomy, that boundary was being crossed because we were telling them from the lens of all the work we had done, ‘This is what the community needs, this is what the parents are asking for, the principals want this’…That was when it turned from friction to fracture,” said Tatum.
The former executive director of the foundation, Sokany, shared the same sentiment: that the SW117 developers didn’t have an appropriate understanding of their role in relation to the foundation.
“They’re original aspiration was that the foundation would support programs that they envisioned being housed in their Studio West development project…[the foundation] would consider requests to support programs that perhaps [Budish] and [Figgie] brought to the foundation, but it wasn’t a given. The foundation had a grants committee and they would evaluate all requests,” said Sokany.
“And I think there was an expectation that, if they asked for something, that the foundation would just automatically make a grant to support what they were asking for.”
With time, Tatum said communication went from strained to downright childish and that Budish and Figgie iced out Sokany.
“It became very strange because instead of reaching out to Steve, [Budish and Figgie] would try to pass through and talk with board members. And that I know [for Sokany] it was very frustrating.”
Sokany says he stepped down as executive director in April of 2022 but continued to work for the foundation as a consultant through November of 2022.
The developers of SW117 deny these and other accusations and say they always welcomed communication from Sokany and the entire foundation board. They also suggested that people who came forward for this story may have selfish reasons for speaking out,
including Trewella, whose design studio either parted ways with SW117 or was fired, depending on who you ask. (Trewella insists his firm was not fired.)
“Some of the commentary in the receiving may in fact be coming from advisors that are being paid by the West 117 Foundation that have a lot to lose, or advisors that we have to part ways with because they just weren’t pulling their weight,” Figgie said.
She said she sees coattail riding at play. “Our team is on top of their game and throughout this project, people have tried to associate themselves with what we’re doing because it’s getting national attention and it’s the right thing to do. But sometimes they’re not delivering on what they said they could do and we have to part ways.”
When asked about discord between the foundation and SW117, Budish said, “There were some egos at the top that prevented collaboration from taking place in the way that most of the board members wanted it to take place and then that is why a majority of them resigned.”
Blame Goes Around
Some members of the foundation board blame Tatum for their departure.
Four former board members told us that they left due to a lack of output from the foundation, inexperienced board leadership, and the constant presence of Tatum’s personal animus against Budish and Figgie, which they saw as prohibitive to actual progress.
“Studio West 117 has made a large investment and has demonstrated a great vision. Like many new business owners and developers, they made some missteps, even with good intentions. But that should not discount their investment in the mission they are working to accomplish on behalf of a community that is in great need,” said former board members Tracy Turoff, Kevin Schmotzer, Ilah Adkins and Suzanne Hamilton in a statement.
“It was disappointing to many of us foundation board members that a few at the foundation could not set aside their own personal conflict and find a way to work with the Studio West management even after a majority of board members expressed the desire to do so. As such, there was a stream of resignations, leaving only three remaining board members.”
Budish and Figgie said they paid for the services of a mediator to address issues with the Foundation
Phyllis Harris. When reached for comment, Harris clarified that the contract was between SW117 and Sage and Maven, her consulting firm owned and operated by her and Ryan Clopton-Zymler. Although CloptonZymler is a certified mediator, Sage & Maven did not provide “mediation” services but instead were contracted to do organizational and leadership development work that included a facilitated meeting between Studio West 117 and the West 117 Foundation. Budish and Figgie have now created two new foundations — the Phantasy Foundation and the LGBTQ Health and Wellness Foundation — in the wake of the schism. Both now fund programs and stipends at SW117.
“Recently, we ended our relationship with the West 117 Foundation after a series of issues, including a series of board resignations over concerns about its leadership and its practices,” Budish and Figgie wrote in their letter to the community last month.
“We believe this action is the root motivation for this article. But, more importantly, we believe our action was correct, and we look forward to teaming up with new community foundations that fully embrace our mission.”
Standing Alone Instead of Standing Together
Dr. Lady J Martinez began working with Studio West 117 with a great deal of hope. The renowned performer and official drag historian for the Austin International Drag Festival — she has an actual Ph.D. in drag history — met with Budish and Figgie in 2019 and was sold on their vision.
“It seemed a little expansive, but still within reason,” Martinez said.
She agreed to the role of Studio West 117’s director of programming, outreach and education, with one main condition: diversifying the leadership.
“We were three white people planning programming for a 53% majority Black city that has real issues of racism. We had been named one of the worst places for Black women and an U.S. epicenter of trans murders,” she said. “We had to do better.”
Martinez said it was a rocky start — “Me having to work for six months for free in order to prove my value was not a great sign” — and that she refused to sign the contract that Budish and Figgie provided her. That document — provided to Scene for review — contained a “non-compete” clause that would
have barred her from performing, doing speaking engagements, or providing community outreach to any businesses “within 150 miles of the intersection of Detroit Avenue and Hird Avenue” both during her work at Studio West and for one year following any termination of the contract.
Martinez balked.
“That clause was insane. They kept trying to own my drag history curriculum. They were trying to establish some sense of ownership of people and their content, and that’s not how you build community,” she said.
Her breaking point came when she helped create a hiring committee that was majority Black, majority trans and almost all queer. When an LGBTQ+ candidate was not selected for a leadership position in favor of a white, heterosexual cisgender candidate, Martinez was incensed.
“I took [Budish] aside and said, ‘For you, this is always going to look like one out of 100 jobs. But I know what it’s like to lose my friends because they don’t have stability and kill themselves in the parking lot. This is just another queer person who didn’t get a job. And you don’t see that as important,’” she said.
The stress became so much that Martinez had to take a mental health leave from working with Studio West. She said that Budish contacted her during her leave and offered her an hourly rate in exchange for compiling lists of the most valuable and the most problematic drag performers.
“My response to that request was to resign,” she said.
At the heart of Martinez’s narrative is SW117’s relationship with the LGBTQ+ community. Six other performers have reached out to allege that SW117’s approach to booking nightlife is creating a toxic environment, pitting performers against each other. They claim that SW117 copied show ideas from other venues and attempted to poach performers,
Budish and Figgie denied these allegations, saying that SW117’s show concepts are “producer-driven” and that they “encourage the producers we work with to create new and exciting concepts.”
“We’re
Sean O’Brien is not entirely sure if he still works at Studio West 117.
“Technically, I’m on ‘indefinite suspension,’ but who even knows what that means at this point?” he said.
O’Brien moved to Cleveland from Philadelphia during the pandemic to take advantage of the inexpensive housing market. Although he had years of experience in bar management, he was not particularly looking to continue in that type of employment. But when he heard about SW117 and its scope, he changed his mind.
“They barely interviewed me and I got hired right away,” he said.
Yet O’Brien described working for SW117 as “constant chaos.”
“They would hire people for leadership positions who just didn’t have experience in doing this work, like bar managers. So the rest of us would just spend our time cleaning up their messes,” he said.
When O’Brien and another bartender devised a “gym class”themed event for the space, he said management — including Budish and Figgie — were initially on board with hosting a circuit party, events known historically as offering spaces for gay men to “bond spiritually, socially, sexually and musically.” But on the day of the event, Budish sent O’Brien an email (which O’Brien provided to Scene) with a series of concerns including nudity and sexual activity.
“There will be a lot of eyes on this event for multiple reasons and this needs to be a top concern for everyone,” Budish wrote.
O’Brien said it was a 180-degree change in attitude from when the event was originally discussed.
“It was a gay circuit party, and they knew that from the start. How clothed did they think people would be?” O’Brien said.
The day of the event, O’Brien said he was stressed and lost his temper with inexperienced managers who he said were doing nothing but obstructing the event (“I could have handled that better.”). Despite hundreds of attendees, a top sales night of over $11,000 and O’Brien’s email apology for his tone after the event, he was placed on “indefinite suspension.”
“It makes as much sense as anything else did in that mismanaged space, which was not much at all because people just don’t know what they’re doing,” O’Brien said.
The theme of mismanagement and inexperienced staff was raised in every conversation we had with six former employees of Studio West.
Chelsea Huizing held a variety of positions at SW117, including assistant general manager of the Fieldhouse. Like the others, he was excited for the scope of the project and frustrated with the delivery.
Building the Plane as We’re Flying It”
“No matter how much experience someone had, they weren’t listened to when they tried to give direction about operations, Cleveland and its community,” Huizing said.
With many years of experience in the service industry, Huizing thought he could put his expertise to work in this unique environment. Instead, he said he encountered one brick wall after another.
“[Budish and Figgie’s] arrogance and ignorance completely overwhelmed any chance of ownership learning from mistakes,” Huizing said.
Even with a manager title, Huizing said he didn’t have the agency to help adjust the restaurant’s operations to respond to a litany of complaints coming from customers — a litany that would not be uncommon for a new restaurant — so he ultimately tendered his resignation. He did so with great sadness.
“Working there was frustrating and infuriating, but it was also overwhelmingly heartbreaking,” he said. “Some people have to learn the hard way — and I’m afraid a lot of damage has been done in that process. It really breaks my heart.”
Shain Josef signed a contract with SW117 in September 2022 to be the project’s lead audio visual technician and lead disc jockey. Duties entailed managing a cast of DJs, coordinating entertainer numbers, managing a music database, and assisting with maintenance of all of the a/v equipment.
Although the contract did not specify the financial terms, Josef said that Alan Saunders, a former general manager of SW117, told him it would be a $150,000 annual salary.
“I quit my day job and created Cleveland Premiere Entertainment, my own LLC,” Josef said.
When Saunders was suddenly no longer employed by SW117, Josef said the company fell behind on more than $4,000 he was owed, by more than six weeks. When he scheduled a meeting with Budish and Figgie, he said they informed him that they didn’t have any copies of the signed contract and that they needed to reduce his pay to $75/ night on weekdays and $150/night on weekends.
“My LLC is now going under as I can’t even cover the taxes,” Josef said.
When reached for comment, Saunders replied, “I signed an NDA and cannot speak on the matter.”
In May, Josef informed Budish and Figgie that he would be removing all of his equipment by June 26, and requested a six-month
period of no contact. He said the emotional trauma of working at SW117 was too great.
“These are two owners who have never run a restaurant/nightclub with no HR department and no organizational structure,” Josef said. “They are running things without any connection to what Cleveland really wants.”
Eric Dahl said he was hired by Budish and Figgie to create a calendar of events to increase bar traffic.
“My payment was essentially higher tips due to more turnout,” he said. But things took a turn quickly.
“[Budish and Figgie] forced me to work with someone who made me uncomfortable by being predatory and forceful with me,” he said. “When I brought it up they told the rest of the team that I was lying.”
Other allegations from past employees included wages not being paid, “grossly inadequate” training, numerous complaints from multiple employees about a manager’s “homophobic comments,” and terminations that seemed to happen weekly.
In response to employees’ claims about a predatory and homophobic manager, Budish and Figgie responded that they “have not witnessed any such behavior.” They declined to address Josef’s salary issue or employee retention numbers (“we don’t comment on personnel issues”), but have conceded that they hit bumps in the road.
“This is a startup and we are building the plane as we are flying it,” Budish wrote in an email to O’Brien. “We don’t have an instruction manual and need to continue giving each other grace and compassion first and foremost as we build the infrastructure here.”
Behind the Scenes of a Contentious Youth Sports League
The Youth Sports League was meant to be a marquee program for the West 117th Foundation. In an age characterized by legislative attacks on LGBTQ+ youth, including in the form of youth sports bans, the league was proposed as a place for kids of all sexual orientations and gender identities to be themselves.
Instead, it too devolved into angry accusations and a falling out with the developers.
The league was to feature a weekly basketball program on Saturdays, “drop-in” days with games like freeze tag, a sportscentered summer camp and tournaments. The league and all of its programs were, from the start,
meant to be free and accessible to everyone.
But as the relationship between SW117 and the foundation started to deteriorate, the league got caught in the crossfire.
“The for-profit side…whatever communication breakdown they had, I still to this day don’t know and, frankly, I don’t care, because I don’t have the patience for drama,” said Gio Santiago, the Black trans veteran the foundation hired to be director of the Youth Sports League.
The administration of the league fell under the foundation, but SW117 was to donate space at the Fieldhouse, to be used free of charge.
But the league never ended up partnering with or meeting at the Fieldhouse at all. According to Santiago, the league could not get a guarantee that it wouldn’t be forced out if SW117 was approached by a paying customer looking to use the Fieldhouse space.
“That was the framework that they thought was okay, because, for them, it’s for profit. It was a business venture with a side of community, that’s how I like to say it,” said Santiago.
According to Santiago, the league even offered to pay to use the space before ultimately abandoning the plan, because weekly use of the Fieldhouse couldn’t be guaranteed.
“Everything is not always about money,” Santiago said. “You can’t say you’re doing something for the community and always talk about how much money you put into it because that doesn’t sit well with people and especially those that are underserved who may not have money.”
Budish and Figgie dispute this claim, saying that they only schedule events six weeks in advance and do not push out existing booked parties.
By the time the foundation officially launched the LGBTQ Youth Sports League in 2022, the foundation was fully separate from the for-profit side.
Then a second league materialized — SW117’s Youth Basketball Academy, which would be hosted in the Fieldhouse.
Given the similarities, Santiago believes SW117 wanted stakeholders to believe that the new for-profit sports league was the one the developer had touted all along.
“It was almost like the Youth Sports League was intentionally iced out and then they decided to create their own basketball league and charge for it…It’s not lost on that there is some intent there with that,” Santiago said.
Budish and Figgie insist that SW117’s youth athletic programming
was in no way intended to draw away from the foundation. Given the foundation’s lack of scheduled programs and events, they say, they’re trying to meet a need that isn’t being met by the foundation.
“We didn’t create a competitive program [with] the West 117 Foundation. We were always holding out hope that they would bring the program as it was intended to the space,” Budish said.
Although Santiago believes the Youth Basketball Academy hurt the Youth Sports League’s attendance, the program has nevertheless moved forward as planned, partnering with Lakewood Schools and meeting at Hayes Elementary School.
The foundation’s website doesn’t have any upcoming youth sports sessions listed on its website, and future dates are only listed “TBD.” But Santiago said he wants to get the program, and kids, back on the court.
“I want to be able to see that. I want to be able to see the youth enjoying the people who are coaching them and enjoying sports,” said Santiago. “I mean, legislation is horrendous in this country right now and even more so in the state of Ohio, for LGBTQ youth and LGBTQ specifically trans youth in sports.”
A Business at Odds with Its Own Business
Ariana Perez had high hopes for both the vision of the SW117 project and the possibilities it could offer her small business. A friend connected her with Budish and Figgie, and Perez remembers there being general excitement around Barbercult, a boutique barbershop with an occult vibe.
“They loved my business idea and were interested and pretty invested in it,” Perez said.
After Perez rejected a few of the initial locations offered to her on site — “I don’t think my state board would allow me to be squeezed into a thrift store” — Budish suggested the space that once held the Chamber, a legendary Cleveland goth bar. For a business called “Barbercult,” the proposed space was ideal. The only problem: it was far from ready for any type of habitation.
“They were way behind on construction,” Perez said.
Eager to begin earning income, Perez agreed to move into a temporary space in the Phantasy storefront. Budish and Figgie presented her with a lease.
It is here that Perez shares that her eagerness may have gotten the best of her. Although she says
that she is now aware that she should have had an attorney review the lease, as a first-time business owner — Budish and Figgie’s stated target demographic — she put her signature into the hands of owners who insisted that they had the LGBTQ+ community’s backs.
“So I blindly signed the lease,” Perez sighed.
She provided Scene with a copy of the lease, which included the following provisions:
• A term of 10 years.
• Perez, as the tenant, would be responsible for all damages incurred in this active construction zone, including damage caused by water, falling plaster, the bursting of pipes, electrical writing or any neglect. In addition, the landlord would not be responsible for any latent defects in the 100+ year-old building.
• Perez, the business owner, would have to have any potential employees go through a “Landlord’s Hiring Committee’s” hiring and vetting process and consider their hiring recommendations.
• Perez said that accompanying the lease was pre-filled paperwork for a grant application from the West 117 Foundation. But she said Budish and Figgie told her the money that the foundation would greenlight would go right back to the landlords to recoup money they had spent on construction.
When asked directly about Perez’s pre-filled out grant application, Budish and Figgie responded that they “are always willing to support employees or tenants with the completion of grant requests or assistance for housing support, legal aid, food insecurity, etc.”
Sokany, who served as executive director of the foundation at the time, cited Perez’s story as an example of SW117 having expectations for the foundation that didn’t align with its obligations as a 501c3 nonprofit.
“She was just led to believe that if she signed this lease that [SW117] would guarantee that the foundation would make a grant to cover that and that was just not the case,” Sokany said.
“I was pressured to sign this lease,” Perez said. “It was predatorial.”
Budish and Figgie dispute Perez’s characterization of the lease.
“Studio West 117 provided Ariana with $19,669 of free rent and utilities. This is the exact opposite of predatory leasing,” they said in a
statement.
They also told us, “I don’t think we have ten-year leases, actually,” but added that, “the financing folks who financed those projects want to see that the lease goes for at least five years. And so it might have been five years with a five-year extension.”
Regardless, Perez signed the lease and moved into the temporary space in September of 2021. She had expectations that there would be resources once she opened her business and was disappointed not to find the support she was seeking.
“Whenever I had issues with my building, with the neighborhood, or if ever I had any questions, there was really no one to turn to or ask,” Perez said. “I felt like I wasn’t being seen or heard.”
Studio West did arrange a media visit from Telemundo, which they say was part of their efforts to highlight Barbercult.
Perez recalled the visit differently.
“[Figgie] didn’t even acknowledge or talk to me during that filming,” Perez said. “[Studio West staff] didn’t talk to me, as they were taking pictures with Telemundo in my shop.”
In late September of 2022, after more than a year in business — and more than six months after Perez had been told she would be able to move into her permanent space in the Chamber space — one of her barbers called to say that the ceiling in the temporary space was leaking. She rushed over to the shop to find staff from SW117 and an environmental crew. They told her asbestos was leaking into her space and she needed to clear out.
“I thought, ‘Well this is fucking great,’” Perez remembered.
After shutting down for a week for asbestos abatement, Perez returned to the shop. The plaster from the ceiling continued to fall and land on her equipment. She was informed they had to drop the ceiling and that she had to shut down for another week.
All the while, Perez says she was losing money.
“As a business owner, telling clients that I couldn’t cut them is terrible,” she said.
She made arrangements to use a friend’s space in Lakewood. While she was there, she was informed that the construction crew hit a gas line and that she couldn’t re-enter the space. Perez said that the building manager informed her that she should just move out.
Perez never returned to SW117.
At that point, Perez did what she said she should have done from the start: retained an attorney.
She sent a letter to Budish and
Figgie on November 2 requesting to be let out of her 10-year-lease and to be reimbursed for more than $7,000 in equipment damages as a result of the ceiling collapse.
Budish and Figgie responded less than a week later. Their letter began by expressing their disappointment “after all [they] had done for her in order to start her business,” and then highlighted that they had invested “over $20K of [their] own personal funds.”
Their letter referred Perez back to the sections of the lease that relieved them of responsibility from damages. The letter ended with a demand of their own:
“Finally, we have calculated that you owe approximately $19,669 of unpaid license fees and utilities in addition to the 10 years of future rent that you are requesting to be relieved from. All we have wanted from the beginning was to help support you in your goals to start and grow your business and have little desire to sue you for these funds. Therefore, we will agree to sever the lease and sign a mutual release and non-disparagement agreement. If you concur, we will send a document for signature.”
To date, Perez has not responded.
“I’m not going to lie and I’m not going to sign [a non-disparagement agreement],” Perez said.
She continues to work out of the Lakewood space and her client base remains steady. Although she is hopeful about her future, she does not look at her Studio West 117 experience fondly.
“I see it as these rich white developers coming in and starting a community,” Perez said. “But at what cost?”
When asked about presenting partners with non-disclosure agreements, Figgie denied the practice in relation to the foundation, though Budish added, “With certain contractors that we have, we have a standard language that any company has for confidentiality and non-disparagement clauses.”
Fear and a Fractured Community
How many of these complaints represent damage to the LGBTQ+ community and how many could be chalked up to growing pains associated with any new business start-up, with issues amped up 100 times as befitting a $100 million project?
The competing narratives are striking.
Budish and Figgie trumpet that they have created more than 70 jobs
in the community, with the vast majority of hiring coming from within the LGBTQ+ community. Former employees say a large percentage of those employees have since left. (Budish and Figgie declined to provide retention numbers.)
Some foundation members say the nonprofit side was inappropriately treated like a fiscal source of revenue for the for-profit side. Other former board members say the foundation became so consumed with personal issues that they never had a single initiative they could tally as having been accomplished.
Multiple individuals with whom we spoke expressed feeling neartraumatized by their experiences working with the developers. Some former foundation board members and community leaders said that people just don’t understand the blunt and transactional nature needed to sustain a project like this, that leaders don’t always have time to validate people’s feelings.
Budish and Figgie say they have “poured life and soul” into this project, working “night and day to make this vision a reality.” Others — and specifically many underrepresented others — say this is the very definition of “white savior complex” and has blinded the developers to seeing the totality of the LGBTQ+ community.
“People need to take five seconds to look at their privilege. Whether it’s because [they’re] white, or cis or have money…those who are in it for the profit are blinded by the money and aren’t seeing the community in it all the time,” Santiago said.
Somewhere in the middle of these warring perspectives sits Cleveland’s LGBTQ+ community, the overwhelming majority of whom will never encounter this behind-the-scenes drama. With the 2017 closing of Bounce Night Club, then Cleveland’s largest LGBTQ+ venue, there have been ever-present rumblings from people wanting more of an LGBTQ+ footprint in the city.
Every single person interviewed for this article wants Studio West 117 to succeed, fervently expressing the LGBTQ+ community needs it to succeed.
Their point of dissension: success at what cost?
“There are people who are enjoying it for what it is right now,” said Tatum. “To be a part of taking that away in any small part is weight and responsibility… that keeps me up at night.”
scene@clevescene.com
t@clevelandscene
GET OUT Everything to do in Cleveland for the next two weeks
WED 05/31
Akaash Singh
Born in India but raised in Texas, comedian Akaash Singh likes to joke about life’s many paradoxes. In one bit about how marriage benefits women more than men, he makes fun of all the pomp and circumstance that accompany a typical wedding. In the routine, he says, “I’m just saying that there should be something for men to balance out the ring. I think men should get a car.” Tonight’s show takes place at 7 at Hilarities. Check the website for ticket prices. 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
THU 06/01
Pride Rocks: A Celebration of Northeast Ohio’s LGBTQ+ Arts & Culture
This event serves to kick off Pride in the CLE weekend. It offers live music and vendors at the Rock Hall. The festivities get underway at 5 p.m. Admission is free.
1100 Rock and Roll Blvd., 216-5158444, rockhall.com.
FRI 06/02
First Friday Hop
From 6 to 9 tonight at this special Downtown Cleveland Alliance event, there will be live-themed performances with curated market vendors, a food truck and beverages available for purchase on three different stages across downtown. A free trolley on a loop will stop at all the performance sites, making it easy to hop on and hop off.
Kenmore First Fridays
Kenmore First Fridays will take place every first Friday of the month through Sept. 1 in the historic Kenmore Boulevard business district. These free events will run from 6 to 9 p.m. and will feature live music, vendors, family activities, food trucks and the Magic City Brewing Company outdoor beer garden. Oddmall will bring its Great Grassman Gathering market which will feature more than 40 purveyors of art, games, toys, comics and collectibles, while the Rialto Theatre hosts a Speed Dating event
followed by live music from Jim Ballard & the Strangs. Kenmore Boulevard between 13th and 16th St., Akron, betterkenmore. org.
SAT 06/03
The Cleveland Air Guitar Championship
Two-time US Air Guitar National Finalist Jerrod “Rick Diesel” Dewey hosts this event that’ll see up to 20 competitors take the stage tonight at 8 at the Winchester Music Tavern in Lakewood.
12112 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-600-5338, facebook.com/ TheWinchesterMusicTavern.
Monster Jam
A slew of 12,000-pound monster trucks, including Grave Digger, El Toro Loco and Megalodon will be on hand for this event. The action commences at 7 p.m. at Browns Stadium.
100 Alfred Lerner Way, 440-8915000, clevelandbrowns.com.
Pride in the CLE
This annual all-day festival at Mall B features a diverse array of vendors — areas of interest include healthcare, activism, social groups and nonprofits — as well as music, entertainment and DJs. The event kicks off at 11 a.m. with a march, and the festivities continue until 6 p.m. Admission is free.
300 W. Lakeside Ave., lgbtcleveland. org/pride/.
SUN 06/04
Reggae Sundays
This special Reggae Sunday Happy Hour Concert series at the Music Box Supper Club takes place rain or shine with live music from 4 to 7:30 p.m. Music Box will also offer food and drink specials exclusive to the series and will serve up island cocktails at its outdoor Tiki bar. Local reggae icon Carlos Jones will kick off the popular event.
1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.
MON 06/05
Memorial Monday
Every Monday through Sept. 25,
Fort Huntington Park, hosts food tracks and live music between 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. for this special event. Admission is free, but the food will cost you.
West 3rd St. and West Lakeside Ave., downtowncleveland.com.
TUE
06/06
Guardians vs. Boston Red Sox
The Boston Red Sox come to Progressive Field this week for a three-game series that begins tonight. Last year’s Red Sox team
missed the playoffs, but this year’s team has played well so far and gave the Guards some trouble when the two teams met in Boston earlier this season. First pitch is at 7:10 p.m. 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, mlb. com/guardians.
WED 06/07
Moulin Rouge! The Musical
The popular musical that promises to deliver “a world of splendor and romance” comes to the State Theatre for an extended run that continues through July 2. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30. 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
THU 06/08
SAT 06/10
Parade the Circle
Returning for the first time since 2020, the 31st art parade will fill Wade Oval with innovative costumes, handmade masks, giant puppets and floats. New for the 2023 parade is the appointment of a lead artist Héctor Castellanos Lara. Originally from Guatemala, Castellanos Lara has called Cleveland his home for more than 30 years, sharing his passion for art and cultural expression with the Cleveland community. Parade the Circle begins at 12 p.m. from the Cleveland Museum of Art and will proceed in a counterclockwise direction around Wade Oval until it spills into the oval in front of the museum. From 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., visitors are invited to participate in Circle Village.
Drink
and Draw with Dr. Sketchy Akron
Founded in 2005 in a dive bar in Brooklyn, Dr. Sketchy’s has now spread to more than 100 cities around the world. Dr. Sketchy Akron, a monthly drink and draw event that takes place on the second Thursday of each month at Jilly’s Music Room in Akron, gives patrons the opportunity to “draw glamorous underground performers in an atmosphere of boozy conviviality.” The fun begins at 7 p.m.; it costs $10 to draw.
111 N Main St., Akron, 330-5763757, jillysmusicroom.com.
FRI 06/09
Girls Gotta Eat
The comedic duo Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg brings the live version of its popular podcast, Girls Gotta Eat, to the Agora tonight at 8. “At this show, Ashley, Rayna and special guests will answer all those burning questions about sex, dating, and relationships in a one-of-a-kind, interactive experience. No one leaves without a fresh outlook on dating and at least one new ab from laughing,” promises the press release. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
Guardians vs. Houston Astros
The Houston Astros, a powerhouse American League team that won last year’s World Series, come to Progressive Field for their one and only visit to town this regular season. Tonight’s first pitch is at 7:10, and the series continues through Sunday. 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, mlb. com/guardians.
11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.
SUN 06/11
3rd Annual Crocker Park Block Party
This annual event at Crocker Park kicks off at 9:30 a.m. with a 5K and one-mile run. Then, from 11 a.m. to 3 pm., the block party takes place. It’ll feature face painting, balloon twisting, live music and sidewalk chalk zones. Admission is free.
189 Crocker Park Blvd., Westlake, crockerpark.com.
Late Nite Catechism
This funny play intends to take audience members back to their youths with its glow-in-the-dark rosaries and other prizes. Today’s performance takes place at 2 p.m. at the Hanna Theatre.
2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
TUE 06/13
Lyrical Rhythms Open Mic and Chill
This long-running open mic night at the B Side allows some of the city’s best rappers and poets to strut their stuff. The event begins at 8 with a comedy session dubbed 2 Drinks & a Joke with host Ant Morrow. The open mic performances begin at 10 p.m. Tickets cost $5 in advance, $10 at the door.
2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com.
scene@clevescene.com
t@clevelandscene
TAIL AS OLD AS TIME
Disney’s 1989 classic becomes a sanitized multicultural fantasy in search of a lot more soul
By Craig D. LindseyThere’s nothing like watching a liveaction remake of a Disney animated movie to remind you how much times have changed.
The Little Mermaid, the Mouse Factory’s latest redo of a beloved cartoon classic, manages to be an even safer update of the G-rated original, which already took Hans Christian Andersen’s sad fairy tale and made it a family-friendly love story by adding some peppy Howard Ashman-Alan Menken tunes and capping it off with a positive outcome.
The 1989 Mermaid is a quietly horny, coming-of-age film, with its busty, teenage sea creature getting the itch to be above land, mostly to get closer to the human prince she saved after a shipwreck. She makes a Faustian deal with bitter-ass sea witch Ursula. In exchange for her angelic voice, Ursula slaps some legs on her and tells her she has three days to get a kiss from the dude, or else the mermaid is hers forever.
The remake is more sanitized for your protection, as Ariel (Halle Bailey, the virginal half of the Chloe x Halle twin-sister duo) is portrayed as a rebellious young scamp who just wants to get away from her surroundings and see what the hell is out there. (The live-action Prince Eric, played by Brit Jonah
Hauer-King, is more of a kindred spirit than an object of desire, as Ariel eavesdrops on him telling his shipmates that he also wants to explore the world.) Ariel strikes the same deal with Ursula (a slithering, sadly reined-in Melissa McCarthy), but in this telling Ursula wipes her memory of the deal when she gets on land. This makes the courtship of Ariel and Eric seem more like an extended Tinder date, complete with them getting to know each other at a funky island market.
This Mermaid works its ass off at being more inclusive and progressive for today’s audiences. Although the ultimate goal is for our princess to link up with the prince, this version still gives her some good ol’ independent agency. People on social media have already lost their shit about the casting of the cocoa-colored Bailey as Ariel, pissing off those who adored (or even fantasized about) the pale-skinned redhead of the original. Those same people are probably not gonna dig the array of diverse faces that populate this film. Ariel’s king dad is played by that studly Spaniard Javier Bardem, while her fellow sisters (which include Bridgerton/Sex Education castmate Simone Ashley) are a gaggle of gals with different nationalities. It’s also a rainbow coalition above water, as the island is
THE LITTLE MERMAID
run by a dark-skinned queen (Noma Dumezweni), a.k.a. Eric’s adoptive mother. We also have Daveed Diggs and Awkwafina as, respectively, the crab and the seagull who crack jokes and aid in Ariel’s mission to kiss the boy.
While there is a lot of diversity on screen, there are still a bunch of white guys behind the scenes. Rob Marshall (who previously helmed Mary Poppins Returns and Into the Woods) is once again in charge of another Disney musical fantasy. He uses most of the $250 million budget making the underwater scenes look more convincing than the aboveground scenes, which look like they were shot at an abandoned miniaturegolf course. (Just like nearly every studio movie that comes out, this one still suffers visually from looking murky and poorly lit.) He gets Poppins screenwriter David Magee to come up with the dreamy/creamy story and brings back Menken to update some songs and work on new ones with producer Lin-Manuel Miranda (including a rap number Diggs and Awkwafina perform that
sounds like something Lil’ Dicky would’ve come up with as a joke).
But since this is a girl-powery flick about a mermaid of color, they couldn’t get Ava DuVernay (has Disney still not forgiven her for the chilly reception of A Wrinkle in Time’s chilly reception?) or The Woman King’s Gina-Prince Bythewood to be in the director’s chair? I feel they could’ve added a bit, shall we say, soul to the proceedings. Despite all the flavors in the cast, the movie is still disappointingly vanilla.
By making The Little Mermaid a multicultural fairytale, Disney is practically ensuring that anyone who talks foul about it is a racist sumabitch. Well, I’m Black, and I still think the film — as proudly all-embracing as it is — is a bland, neutered pat-on-the-back for Disney. The Little Mermaid is basically two hours and 15 minutes (the cartoon ran at a brisk 83 minutes!) of a major media conglomerate assuring the audience they’re not racist.
Hell, they could’ve just saved their money and did what most billiondollar corporations do: send out a really supportive tweet during Black History Month.
STILL SWIMMIN’
After 30 years, a recent makeover has Salmon Dave’s looking fresh once again
By Douglas TrattnerI’LL ALWAYS CREDIT SALMON
Dave’s with opening my eyes to one of spring’s most fleeting pleasures: Copper River king salmon. Before that meal – nearly 20 years ago – I assumed that all salmon was the same, namely mild in flavor, pale in color, and utterly underwhelming. That Copper River king, in contrast, was remarkably rich, buttery, gamey and meaty. The experience set off a years-long obsession with wild salmon while also kindling an appreciation for eating seasonally.
By the time I dined there, Salmon Dave’s was already a decade into its run, which has now passed the 30-year mark. My recent return was motivated by a floor-to-ceiling, insideand-out renovation that the owners undertook this past winter. The Pacific Northwest-style fish house in Rocky River has never looked better thanks to a makeover that freshened up this cosmopolitan gem. The moose mount and mahogany back bar are still there, but diners will observe a shiny new marble bar top, updated lighting, mosaic tiled floors and chrome accents. Those interior tweaks join exterior improvements in the form of a freshly painted façade, new exterior lighting, awnings and sidewalks.
When George Schindler opened Salmon Dave’s, he and his partners already had Cabin Club in their budding restaurant portfolio. Under the name Hospitality Restaurants, they would go on to open Blue Point Grille, Delmonico’s Steakhouse, Kingfish and multiple Rosewood Grill locations. It’s an impressive track record that points more to nuts-and-bolts restaurant operation than it does to cutting-edge cuisine. If you offer great service, attractive dining rooms, consistent food and reasonable prices, guests will continue to reward you with their patronage.
My latest meal at Salmon Dave’s was not nearly as revelatory as that one a few decades back, but it was enjoyable. The restaurant deserves kudos for presenting seafood in a hip, casual, golf course-chic environment as opposed to the stuffy white tablecloth places that existed at the time. Over the years, the chefs have dialed back the Asian-influenced
Pacific Rim touches to focus more on American-style seafood classics ripped from the coasts, including those on the Gulf and Great Lakes. Meals start with baskets of warm sliced bread and plenty of whipped honey butter. Salmon Dave’s – and Blue Point Grille, for that matter –serves one of the best bowls of lobster bisque ($12) in the city. The soup is crimson and creamy, nutty and well-seasoned, and redolent of deep shellfish flavor. It contains more than a few morsels of lobster and gets finished with a drizzle of crème fraiche and sprinkle of chopped chives. We tried both the oysters Rockefeller ($16) and the grilled
oysters ($15). Neither landed on the table piping-hot and bubbly like they do in New Orleans, but they were buttery, savory and crispy from the breadcrumb topping. A delicate batter and gentle frying leaves the calamari ($16) super tender. It’s served on a bed of mildly spiced marinara.
To pair with the physical changes, the kitchen debuted some fresh takes in the form of an East Coast bouillabaisse, “knife and fork” fried chicken with pepper gravy, fish and chips and others. Starring Lake Erie walleye, the fish and chips ($26) were exceptional thanks to a crunchy dark amber crust and mild, silky meat within. The plate was piled high
with chunky, perfectly fried potato quarters and chip-chopped slaw. A wide-rimmed bowl of jambalaya ($24) was loaded with Gulf shrimp, andouille sausage and tender rice, but would have benefited greatly from a few more dashes of spice and seasoning.
Living up to its name, Salmon Dave’s offers a trio of entrees starring that fish, though none plucked from the icy waters of the Pacific Northwest. Diners can enjoy their salmon grilled, pan-roasted or cooked and served atop a cedar plank ($29). The last one comes with a side of lemon dill butter, roasted fingerlings and broccolini. Briny in-shell clams topped a bowl of linguini and clams ($28), which contained even more shellfish in the herby sauce.
From the start, Hospitality Restaurants has always featured excellent wine programs at all of its properties. The list at Salmon Dave’s is loaded with fish and seafood friendly labels from California, Washington State, France, Italy and Germany. Better still is the bottle of dry reisling ($32) from Forge Cellars in the Finger Lakes region of New York. If you’re feeling particularly celebratory, start – or end – the night with a chilled seafood tower stocked with oysters, poached shrimp and crab cocktail, paired with any number of new cocktails from that handsome mahogany bar.
BITES
Sushi 86 and Bites to swap 5th Street Arcades for Harbor Verandas
By Douglas TrattnerRACHEL HSU IS ON THE MOVE once more. Since launching Sushi 86 more than two decades ago, she has been adapting to changing times and trends by going with the flow. At the end of May, Hsu will shutter her downtown sushi shop at the 5th Street Arcades with an eye on reopening in a new location in early to mid July.
“This will be our seventh location since opening in 2000,” Hsu says. “We just bend and move and shift and change as we’ve needed to. So far that’s been good for us.”
The new location will be on the ground floor of Harbor Verandas (1050 East 9th St.), the luxury apartment building located on the East Ninth Street Pier, just steps from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Originally, those twin properties – which measure 4,000 square feet combined – were to be home to Cute for Coffee and Sandrine. That project, announced by design consultant Chris Schramm, never took flight.
In addition to her long-running sushi concept, Hsu will bring the newer Bites concept down to the harbor. Open since January, the quick-serve café offers breakfast sandwiches, french toast, snacks, salads and sandwiches. New to the downtown location will be coffee and ice cream components.
Sushi 86 will seat 85 diners indoors, including a dozen at the sushi bar. The restaurant marks a return to sit-down dining for the concept, which converted primarily to quick-serve and take out. To that end, Hsu will be securing a liquor license for the new spot.
Asked if the change in management at the arcade had anything to do with the relocation of her business, Hsu said no.
“Even if Dick Pace were still here, we’d be leaving,” she explains. “There’s just no lunch business, and when you’re in the food court, it’s really reliant on lunch business. I think [the new location] will be busier than where we’re at, that’s for sure.”
Chef Demetrios Atheneos to Open Dominic’s Deli on Lee This Week
One year ago, Myron’s Deli on Lee Road in Cleveland Heights closed its doors after 40 years. This week, chef Demetrios Atheneos will open the doors to Dominic’s Deli on Lee (2256 Lee Rd., 216-417-2675), a deli and bodega in the very same spot. The formerly cluttered beverage shop was stripped to the studs before being rebuilt into a bright, airy and functional neighborhood market.
Atheneos, who also operates Chicken Ranch and Zina Greek Street Food in University Heights, will roll out a menu starring Italian paninos built on freshbaked filone rolls from On the Rise. Sold by the half and footlong, the sandwiches star imported meats like prosciutto di Parma, Genoa salami and mortadella. The deli also carries Boar’s Head deli meats and customers can design their own sandwiches. The chef is making his own roast beef, which gets paired with local cheddar, sweet onion, horseradish mayo and lettuce. Atheneos is also very proud of his Italian beef, braised in house and topped with mild or spicy giardiniera.
Also tempting will be the squarecut Sicilian-style pizza, sold by the half or full sheet pan. Eventually, shoppers will be able to pop in for a slice. To go with the pizza, the kitchen is preparing pepperoni balls, dough stuffed with cheese and pepperoni and baked until golden brown and melty.
Daily soups and specials will appear on the sandwich board.
Bagged chips, cold beer and soda are on hand as well.
On the retail side are deli meats and cheeses sold by the pound, deli salads, housemade desserts like tiramisu, cannoli and ricotta cheesecake, eggs, condiments and tinned fish.
Campbell’s Sweets Factory Has Closed its Ohio City Location
Campbell’s Sweets has abruptly shuttered its flagship store (2084 W. 25th St.) in Ohio City. Its last day of business was Monday, May 22. The storefront opened in 2011 as a production space for the popular West Side Market stand, but quickly evolved into a beloved tourist attraction.
Customers can continue shopping for products like popcorn, chocolate, cotton candy, and candy apples at the West Side Market and at b.a.Sweetie (6770 Brookpark Rd., 216-739-2244) where they shifted production. Campbell’s popcorn products are also sold at Giant Eagle, Target, Dave’s Markets, Lucky’s Markets and others.
The company issued the following statement regarding the sudden closure:
“We regret to inform you that effective Monday May 22, 2023 this location will be permanently closed. We have been operating at this location for 10 years and management has made the difficult decision not to renew the lease because of poor financial performance.”
All employees are being transferred to the West Side Market
or b.a. Sweetie campus, the company added.
Columbus-Based Brassica to Open Second Greater Cleveland Shop in Westlake
It’s been five years since Brassica opened its doors at Van Aken District and the restaurant is still mobbed most times of the day. That’s a testament to the company and culture that brothers Kevin and Darren Malhame have created to fuel that restaurant and its sister establishment Northstar Café.
“Shaker Heights has been great to us,” says Kevin. “It’s a great neighborhood and we love the Ratners’ project there. Van Aken is a fun spot to operate restaurants in.”
Next up for the Columbus-based company is Westlake, specifically West Bay Plaza on Detroit Road in Westlake. The store, located across the street from Crocker Park, will be the sixth Brassica overall and the second in Greater Cleveland.
“The restaurant will be very similar,” Malhame adds. “The experience should be very much the same as the Brassica at Van Aken.”
Given the fluid nature of the construction, hiring and training processes, Malhame pegs the opening sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
“We don’t have a date for an opening yet, but we are hoping to be open around the holidays.”
t
THE DEMO HEARD ’ROUND THE WORLD
British indie rockers Panchiko finally get their due
By Jeff NieselJUST LAST MONTH, THE UK
indie rock quartet Panchiko released its sophomore album, Failed at Math(s). While the release of a new album from a British rock act isn’t necessarily newsworthy, Failed at Math(s) is particularly intriguing because it comes more than 20 years after the group called it quits.
Panchiko pulled the plug so early in its career that it never officially released its debut album.
The story of the album’s release has been well-documented, but it’s so unique that it merits retelling.
Almost seven years ago, a user on a discussion board posted a photo of a demo CD discovered in an Oxfam charity store in Nottingham, UK. Titled D>E>A>T>H>M>E>T>A>L, it purportedly came out in 2000. The listener uploaded the ripped audio to file-sharing sites and then later put it up on YouTube, where it began circulating around web forums. A cult of fans worked to solve the origin story and found singer Owain Davies on Facebook and messaged him.
“I don’t do Facebook much, but someone messaged me and asked if I was the lead singer,” says Davies during a conference call with bassist Shaun Ferreday and keyboardist Andy Wright by his side as they sat in the back of their tour van at a San Francisco date. Panchiko performs
on Saturday, June 3, at the Beachland Ballroom. “I thought that was odd because I know for a fact that that music was never put on the Internet. I didn’t know how someone knew about it and said [Panchiko] was a name I hadn’t heard in a long time. They said that the CD was really degraded and that they were part of a group
“It was utterly terrifying,” says Ferreday when asked about the gig. “To bring something out of retirement after 20 years was quite a scary thing to do. It’s slightly better for the other guys because they actually played an instrument over the last 20 years, and I hadn’t. That was worrying for everybody
years old.”
Since band members were so young, they weren’t exactly clued into what was happening in Nottingham at the time.
“We lived about 15 miles out, and we were all in high school,” says Davies. “We played a lot of covers and played gyms and sports centers and maybe a small bar or pub. We eventually started to develop a set that was our own music.”
For Failed at Math(s), the band cut some new songs and re-recorded old ones. And yet, the album is surprisingly cohesive. With its upper-register vocals and swirls of synths, the title track has a Gorillaz feel to it, and “Until I Know” channels classic Brit-pop acts like Pulp and Blur.
“We’re still working jobs, so it has been hard to write more songs,” admits Davies. “Andy [Wright] might write some and Shaun [Ferreday] might do some stuff, and we’re looking forward to writing more songs. We still have the ability to do it, and some of the new songs were written within a week for better or worse, but we like them. ‘Failed at Math(s)’ was a quick thing I did on my laptop. Before I got into the details, I sent it to Andy [Wright] quickly, and he said it sounded good, but it would be stronger if I changed the pitch and tempo. I said, ‘Let’s do it.’ It was more collaborative [than in the past]. I hope we can continue that process.”
trying to find a clean version of the demo. I said, ‘Maybe I am [the singer]. Maybe I’m not.’”
Davies then contacted Wright, who knew nothing about the 100,000 YouTube views the band’s music had received.
And just like that, the band was suddenly a going concern.
“When we chatted about whether we should ‘get the band back together’ in the words of the Blues Brothers, we thought, ‘What is the worst that can happen?’” says Ferreday. “I suppose we could humiliate ourselves in front of the whole world, but that’s accomplished on a daily basis in our lives, so it seemed like the right thing to do.”
The group’s first live show after reuniting took place in 2021.
involved. But it was awesome. It was an incredible thing. When we showed up at the venue, and there were queues of people around the block, that was an amazing feeling. That was great.”
Initially, the band took inspiration from the likes of its contemporaries — bands such as Super Furry Animals, DJ Shadow and Kid Loco (“we stuck them all together pretty badly,” jokes Wright) when it formed in Nottingham, England in the mid-’90s.
“We were all in separate bands — me and Andy [Wright] were in band together, and Owain [Davis] was in a separate band,” says Ferreday. “We poached Owain [Davies] because the singer we had at the time wasn’t amazing. The band just amalgamated. We were all about 15
Given the layers of synths and samples on the tunes, it would be difficult for the band to replicate the album’s songs in a live setting. As a result, the group has refashioned the material so that the songs take on a new life for the stage.
“With some of the music we make, we would need a backing track, but we have gone the route with no backing tracks,” says Davies. “We are relying on dynamics. [The live show] is a bit different live and has a bit more energy. We played last night in Portland, OR, and the audience was great. They were even moshing. It was mad!” jniesel@clevescene.com
LIVEWIRE Real music in the real world
THU 06/01
Louis Tomlinson: Faith in the Future World Tour 2023
A member of One Direction, one of the best-selling boy bands of all time, Louis Tomlinson released his solo debut, Walls, in 2020 and followed it up last year with Faith in the Future. While saccharine pop tracks such as “The Greatest” have a generic quality to them, snappy numbers such as “Written All Over Your Face” benefit from jittery synths and funky bass riffs. The singer-songwriter performs tonight at 7 at Blossom.
1145 W Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, livenation.com.
FRI 06/02
Zach Bryan
Each of the singles from country singer-songwriter Zach Bryan’s latest albums, 2022’s American Heartbreak and Summertime Blues, have become fan-favorite audience sing-alongs during his live shows. Bryan draws from old school country traditions and turns up the banjo on tunes such as “Quittin’ Time” and emphasizes slide guitar in “Motorcycle Drive By.” The country superstar brings his Burn, Burn, Burn tour to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse tonight at 8. Trampled by Turtles open. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
SAT 06/03
Dierks Bentley
Country singer-songwriter Dierks
Bentley landed his first publishing deal in 2001 and released his debut album two years later. The hits have come fast and furious ever since.
Earlier this year, Bentley returned with his tenth album, Gravel & Gold. Songs such as “Same Ol’ Me” and “Sun Sets in Colorado” come off as highly autobiographical and references some of the realizations Bentley had during the height of the pandemic, when he was sequestered in a small Colorado town. The country star brings his Gravel & Gold tour to Blossom tonight at 7.
1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com
SUN 06/04
Death Cab for Cutie
Asphalt Meadows, the latest studio effort from this veteran indie rock act, finds the band delivering the same kind of evocative tunes that it has during the course of its 25-year career. The title track has an ominous
feel to it, and a song such as the shimmering ballad “Rand McNally” shows off the band’s quieter side. The careening single “Here to Forever” ranks as one of the best tunes in the band’s extensive catalog. The group performs at 7 tonight at the Agora. Lomelda opens the show. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
Paramore
This emo-pop band formed some 20 years ago when members were still teenagers. While the group’s been on hiatus as singer Hayley Williams explored a solo career, it reformed last year to record its latest effort, This Is Why. The lurching title track shows the extent to which the group has put its commercial pop aspirations aside and has embraced
its punkier past. The emo group performs tonight at 7 at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. GhanaianAustralian singer Genesis Owusu opens the show. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
WED 06/07
Martin Barre
Former Jethro Tull guitarist Martin Barre and his solo band bring their brand-new show, A Brief History of Tull, to the Kent Stage tonight. The show is a two-hour “extravaganza” featuring Tull songs only. It’ll consist entirely of deep cuts, rarities and Tull songs with which Barre was particularly involved.
175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-6775005, kentstage.org.
FRI 06/09
Cody Jinks
A former metal guy who returned to his country roots after his thrash band broke up, singer-songwriter Cody Jinks comes to town tonight in support of 2021’s Mercy. Songs such as “Hurt You” and “Like a Hurricane” rock hard thanks to their riveting guitar solos and Jinks’s gruff vocals. Whitey Morgan and Erin Viancourt open the show. Doors open at 5 p.m. at Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica.
2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com.
SUN 06/11
Tyler Childers
A true musical masterpiece, Tyler Childers’s new triple album, Can I Take My Hounds to Heaven?, features eight songs presented in three distinct sonic perspectives. Childers and his longtime band the Food Stamps will undoubtedly draw from the album for tonight’s show, which begins at 6:30 at Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica. Miles Miller opens. 2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com.
The Cure
Finally inducted into the Rock Hall in 2019, the Cure are more than just an ‘80s Goth pop-rock band. All pigeonholing aside, they’re a damn good rock band. The 1986 compilation Standing on a Beach, a
collection of some of their finest tunes, established that. If previous gigs on this tour are any indication, expect to hear close to 30 tunes in a set that runs nearly three hours long. Tonight’s show begins at 7 at Blossom.
1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com.
The Flaming Lips
The Flaming Lips roll into the Agora tonight as part of a tour that will feature a special performance of their 2002 album Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots to mark the 20th anniversary of its release. These concerts are highly visual and festive affairs that show the extent to which frontman Wayne Coyne has become a modern-day hippie who eschews good vibes and feel-good energy. The concert begins at 7:30. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
MON 06/12
Two Friends
Matt Halper and Eli Sones, the two musicians behind the dancepop duo Two Friends, bring their latest tour to Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica. Thanks to viral remixes of the Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” and Blink 182’s “I Miss You,” the group has become an international dance music sensation. Wuki and Justus Bennetts open the show. Doors are at 7 p.m.
2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com.
TUE 06/13
Fleet Foxes
Fleet Foxes will perform songs from its extensive catalog at tonight’s show at the Agora. Recently, the group received a Grammy nod for 2020’s Shore. In 2021, the band released Wading in Waist-High Water: The Lyrics of Fleet Foxes, a book containing the complete lyrics from 55 songs, capturing the poetic and inventive storytelling that is a hallmark of the indie act’s approach. Doors open at 7.
5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
scene@clevescene.com
t@clevelandscene
APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION
by Dan SavageHey Dan: I’ve had a successful career as an artist and thousands follow my professional accounts on social media. My followers think they know me, but I am living a secret double life. What I’ve kept hidden is that I’m bisexual. I have hidden this fact from everyone: from my followers, from my family and from the three ladies who married me believing I was the straight guy I pretended to be. All my marriages failed, ending in divorce with no children produced, thank God, and my ex-wives all went on to find real men who could father their children.
In 2016, knowing my success and investments meant I could live comfortably for the rest of my life, I quit my career in the arts and fulfilled a lifelong dream of becoming a hardcore gay porn slut. (“Slut” fits me much more closely than does “actor,” since what I do on camera is not an “act.”) I truly love the hot sex I’ve had with Alpha Males in the 250ish videos I’ve starred in so far. Truly, my only regret is not doing porn much sooner in my life, as I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.
Question: Should I continue pretending to be straight and keep the people who still follow me on Facebook and Instagram in the dark? Or should they be advised to google my full and actual birth name and the word “porn” so they can see the real me? (My full legal name and my professional name as both an artist and porn slut — are the same.) I don’t want anyone’s life to be negatively impacted should it become known they follow a person who appears in hardcore porn and does things most people would regard as offensive and grotesque. It seems best that followers who are interested in my art be advised to google me so they are aware of what I am doing now and can unfollow me if they wish.
If you want to include my full legal name in your column, I’ll most likely say yes. And please feel free to give me hell because I understand the things I let men do to me are vile and disgusting.
[Full Legal Name Redacted]
I have no desire to publish your
name.
But rest assured, FLNR, that I fell for it. I googled your name and the word “porn,” I was negatively impacted, and I will always regret it. (Gotta work on my impulse control.) The porn you’re making is, as confessed/boasted, vile and disgusting and grotesque and offensive. It’s also not illegal and can be enjoyed by consenting adults … who hopefully floss, brush their teeth, use mouthwash, and don’t kiss their mothers with those mouths. (Relieved I don’t have to alert the authorities. The health department, on the other hand…)
Look, I know what you’re trying to do here. You choose to porn under your own name, the same name you used as an artist — your legal name, your professional name, your porn name — because the thought of being exposed and ruined turns you on. Almost as much as the thought of ruining someone else’s day by tricking them into taking a look at your work. (I only saw the titles, FLNR, but that was enough.) But what you want most is to be exposed and destroyed — that’s your ultimate fantasy — and you’ve been fantasizing about the moment you’re found out and destroyed since you posted your first video.
And here you are, 250 videos later, and no one who follows you — no one who has admired or collected your work — has stumbled over your vast archive of vile and disgusting and grotesque and offensive porn. Maybe if your pornographic output was a little more mainstream, maybe if yours was a taste shared by more than a tiny handful of people, you would’ve been found out and destroyed already. But the porn you make is so niche — and so vile and so disgusting, etc., etc. — that not one of your followers has stumbled over it. Or stepped in it. And even if one had, FLNR, he couldn’t jump into a comments thread on your Instagram to tell on you without also telling on himself.
So, now you want me to do your dirty work for you … you want me to inflict you on my readers in the hope it’ll get back to your followers … and I’m not gonna do that to my readers.
Or to you.
And I don’t think you would you want me to, FLNR, if you thought about it more during your refractory periods. As things stand now, FLNR, you get to enjoy the dread of discovery and destruction every day. You get to enjoy your perfect fantasies about the shitstorm coming for you when the inevitable happens — or what you thought was inevitable, 250 videos ago — and how your life and reputation and artistic legacy are all destroyed in a moment. But like Bernd Brandes, a German man whose ultimate fantasy was to be murdered by a cannibal after first having his own penis cut off, cooked and served to him, you may find reality falls short of your fantasies. In Brandes’ case, the cannibal he met online, Armin Meiwes, wasn’t a very good cook. Meiwes overcooked Brandes’ penis, which wound up being too tough to eat, and since Brandes didn’t have another penis, a do-over wasn’t possible. He died disappointed.
Just like Brandes had only one dick, you have only one life. There will be no do-overs for you either. So, you’re better off as you are now — enjoying your perfect fantasy of your destruction rather than enduring the sure-to-be-a-letdown reality.
P.S. Your kinks are just as vile and disgusting and grotesque and offensive as advertised — but I’m not going to give you hell about them. First, because no one chooses their kinks and, second, because the disgust is obviously part of the turn-on for you and I’m not here to cup your balls. (And to be clear, bisexuality isn’t the kink we’re talking about.) If you want to warn people to unfollow and/or de-acquisition your work to avoid being smeared by association, you can do that without suggesting they google your name + porn. You pretend to be motivated by concern for your followers, FLNR, but I’m not swallowing that shit.
Hey Dan: Etiquette question. I started seeing a massage guy about a year ago after connecting with him on Scruff (“not here for sex but if you want a great massage…”). He
turned out to be terrific at it. First couple times I got incredible deep and thorough massages, paid him for the time and added a tip, all good. Then — and with no words exchanged — the massages started getting sexual. Now I get about a brief massage and then his fingers start tickling butt and we end up fucking. He’s totally hot and great at it, always gets me off within the hour session. (He never gets off but is totally hard and enthusiastic the entire time.) We don’t have any interaction outside the sessions, aside from texts setting up the next time. No complaints about the sex at all, it’s great, but I miss the massages! Somehow this relationship went from a massage deal to sex work. (HTH?!?) So, my question: I’ve never hired a sex worker before. How much does a person tip a sex worker? And any ideas how can I steer the relationship back to more pounding of muscles without giving up the pounding of butt? Thanks!
Loving His Dick, Missing His Hands
How did this arrangement go from a massage deal to sex work? How’d that happen? Your “massage guy” did it.
Your massage guy is a sex worker but a choosy one. He looks for prospective clients on hookup apps, offers “massageonly” meetups at first, and once he has a good feeling about someone someone who respects his initial “massage-only” boundary, shows up freshly showered, and tips well (20-25 percent), e.g., someone like you — your massage guy “upgrades” his new-ish client from massage (not what most guys are seeking on Scruff) to dick (what all guys are seeking on Scruff). If you miss his massages, LHDMHH, book an extra hour and use your words. (“Love your excellent dick, miss your amazing massages!”) Then you can have it all… with “all,” in this instance, being defined as “good massage + expert dicking.”
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