Creative Loafing Tampa — April 20, 2023

PUBLISHER James Howard

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa

DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf

MANAGING EDITOR Kyla Fields

FOOD and THEATER CRITIC

Jon Palmer Claridge

FILM & TV CRITIC John W. Allman

IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl

CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Yuki

Jackson, Jennifer Ring, McKenna Schueler

Story

PHOTOGRAPHERS Dave Decker, Phil DeSimone, Isaiah Stephens

SPRING INTERN Tyana Rodgers

question

Apply for summer via rroa@cltampa.com

Story

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora

GRAPHIC DESIGNER Joe Frontel

ILLUSTRATORS Dan Perkins, Cory Robinson, Bob Whitmore

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda

SeaWorld in February, animal rights claiming the practice of keeping wild dangerous. But even though public many don’t see a parallel between the kind and the practice of displaying animals asking for too much? Or is it time for a “entertainment” animals?

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS

AND EVENTS DIRECTOR

Alexis Quinn Chamberlain

at SeaWorld in February, animal rights claiming the practice of keeping wild and dangerous. But even though public widespread, many don’t see a parallel between the kind Vick and the practice of displaying animals activists asking for too much? Or is it time for a “entertainment” animals?

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Lauren Caplinger

EUCLID MEDIA GROUP

CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

Andrew Zelman

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Tampa Bay Blues Fest 40

Chris Keating, Michael Wagner

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REGIONAL OPERATIONS DIRECTOR

Hollie Mahadeo

DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR

Jaime Monzon euclidmediagroup.com

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EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views

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The physical edition is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampa.com. Copyright 2021, Tampa

There’s also a variety of beer and cocktails for your cottonmouth. Let’s get high, p. 29.

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Ybor Festival of the Moving Image cltampa.com/arts

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ON THE COVER: Photo c/o Datz. Design by Joe Frontel.

MARK SUTHERLAND/YOUTUBE EATGANGCHU/FACEBOOK

do this

EcoFest 2023 For the 13th year in a row, Learning Gate Community School and the Museum of Science and Industry will host its annual Earth Day celebration, Eco Fest. This weekend’s event teaches the principles of sustainability, ecology and equity through interactive activities, demonstrations, green workshops and informational booths. Attendees can also expect a wide range of local food trucks, live music, fresh produce vendors, and alternative health practitioners. Admission into MOSI itself is not included in its annual Earth Day festivities. Folks are welcome to bring their kiddos to this free celebration of our Earth. Read about more Earth Day events on page 41. Saturday, April 22. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Free. Museum of Science and Industry, 4801 E Fowler Ave.,Tampa. mosi.org—Kyla Fields

Sans Market’s 6th Annual Earth Day Clean Up Take some time this Earth Day to help beautify this waterfront city we call home. Sans Market is a popular zero-waste store in St. Pete, and it’s spreading its green mission by hosting the 2023 installment of its annual Earth Day clean up this weekend. Coffee from Grassroots Kava will help kick off this morning clean up, while an after party—full of prizes and more Earth Day fun—takes place at Green Bench Brewing Co. at noon. According to Sans, participants in last year’s event picked up over 400 pounds of trash off the streets of da ‘Burg. Folks interested in this Earth Day clean up can sign up in advance by calling or texting 727-3327000. Sans Market also suggests taking the Sunrunner to this weekend’s event to avoid traffic and parking. Read more Earth Day ideas on p. 41. Saturday, April 22. 10:30 a.m. Free. Sans Market Zero Waste Store, 1037 Central Ave, St. Petersburg. sans. market—Kyla Fields

Druski’s ‘Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda’ tour Are you ready to belly laugh? Acclaimed social media comedian Druski is bringing his first-ever headlining tour to Tampa later this week. Druski (aka Drew Desbordes) rose to fame on social media and is known for his Instagram live videos where he gives aspiring artists the opportunity to showcase their talents; a few lucky folks even get the chance to be signed to his satirical label Coulda Been Records. He was last seen as the opening act for Chris Brown and Lil Baby’s joint tour last summer. The show will feature traditional stand-up comedy from the Maryland-based funny guy with 5.6 million Instagram followers, as well as segments from his record label. Thursday, April 27. 8 p.m. $37.75. The Straz Center’s Carol Morsani Hall, 1010 N Macinnes Pl.,Tampa. strazcenter.org

continued on page 09

Tyana Rodgers

do this

continued from page 06

Lucky Tigre’s Filipino fiesta For the last six months, Julie Sainte Michelle Feliciano has been sharing her take on Filipino food with Tampa Bay with help from a small team that runs the area’s only sari-sari store concept. This weekend, Feliciano and Lucky Tigré expand the tent and welcome the community for a one-day “Mini Fiesta Market” celebrating Filipino Food Month. The market includes vendors like Filipina-owned jeweler and vintage shop She Greets The Day, plus pop ups from Filipino food scene favorites Masarap Bowls, fishcake guru Juju Taiyaki, and local chili oil genie Jasmine Dragon. There’s also an eating contest built around lumpia, the fried spring rolls that provide warm memories for countless nonFilipinos who were lucky to have a pinoy friend. Entry to the eating contest is $40, with the proceeds benefiting the nonprofit Childhope Philippines. Saturday, April 22. noon-4 p.m. Free. Lucky Tigre, 1101 S Howard Ave., Tampa. @theluckytigre on Instagram—Ray Roa

Record Store Day 2023 This year’s Record Store Day is around the corner and America’s vinyl-lovers are once again scouring their local shops for exclusive wax and hot releases. Best of the Bay-winning Daddy Kool Records hosts another all-day party to celebrate, with a variety of multi-genre Tampa Bay musicians performing from 1:30 p.m.-7 p.m. Fessi K, Greymarket, Ari Chi, Liquid Pennies and Daniela Soledad & The Nate Najar Quartet take the outdoor stage while Daddy Kool hosts local art vendors, food trucks, a coffee bar for the early risers and local DJ’s to keep the party bumpin’. The Factory’s artist studio will be available for strolling through, while local DJ Austeen VanderBleek hosts a free record collector and DJ showcase if you’d like the opportunity to spin your own wax. This party is free-to-attend and lasts all day long. A full list of exclusive Record Store Day releases can be found at recordstoreday.com—and you can see more local shops doing the RSD thing via cltampa.com/music. Saturday, April 22. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Free. 2606 Fairfield Ave. S, St. Petersburg. daddykool.com—Kyla Fields

Booze & Boutiques This annual boutique crawl and fundraiser returns for another year of shopping and sipping through the heart of downtown St. Pete. While this laid-back stroll starts at Floridian Social, you can wander through all of the small boutiques and shops along The Burg’s prized 600 block. Just a few participating businesses include Rock Shop, Brutique, Plain Jane, Atlas Body and Home and Ashe Couture Boutique. A ticket includes 20% off from each participating retail store, adult beverages and snacks at each stop, and entry into the Booze & Boutiques raffle. Funds raised from this event benefit The Children’s Dream Fund, a local nonprofit dedicated to helping Florida children with life-threatening illnesses. Saturday, April 22. Noon-5 p.m. $50. The Floridian Social, 687 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. thefloridiansocial.com—Kyla Fields

DAVE DECKER

MONIQUE TREVETT

Sing out loud

Photos by Phil DeSimone and Dave Decker

It’s been one hell of a weekend for songwriters with fans that know every single word of the catalog. Taylor Swift had a historic three-night run at Raymond James Stadium and punk hero Tim Barry had fellowship with his loyal followers in Ybor City, too. St. Petersburg got in on the action last night when Laura Jane Grace returned to 687 Central Ave.—now called Floridian Social, but previously known as State Theatre where Grace’s band Against Me! played some its greatest sets—for a solo acoustic show featuring shouted singalongs are communal vibes. See photos from all these shows via cltampa.com/slideshows.

—Ray Roa

POLITICS ISSUES OPINION

Another round

Tampa politico with ties to mayor and city hall pleads not guilty in sex offender case.

By Colin Wolf

For years, Giovanni “Gio” Fucarino was a prominent figure in the Tampa political world. Until recently he was the board chair at the Italian Club in Ybor City, and was known to frequent political fundraisers and financially support a number of local politicians, including multiple city council members and Mayor Jane Castor.

However, Fucarino’s bombshell arrest last month revealed that the 52-year-old politico had a decades-old sex offender conviction on his record, and that his real name is actually John Ring Jr. On March 17, officers with the Tampa Police Department raided Ring’s Ybor City office and arrested him for failure to update his “electronic mail address or internet identifiers,” stemming from a 2008 sex offender conviction. Documents show that officers also confiscated Ring’s computer and his phone during the arrest.

According to court documents obtained by Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, Ring pleaded “not guilty” on March 30. The documents also show that two search warrants were filed and approved to search Ring’s phone and computer. A week later, on March 29, State Attorney Susan Lopez filed a “request to seal” the warrant, arguing in part that authorities believed “potential evidence suggesting public corruption within the City of Tampa was located.”

Ring has since hired Tampa criminal defense attorney Anthony Rickman, who has previously represented clients in high-profile local cases like the 2018 Bayshore Boulevard car crash that left a mother and her toddler dead, and the Lithia teen who was shot and killed at a Tampa Police Officer’s home in 2019. CL was unable to reach Ring or his attorney for comment, but will update this story if they get back to us.

Reports from Ring’s 2008 arrest said he was a Memorial Middle School teacher’s assistant when he contacted a 17-year-old girl via text message and asked for sex and pornographic photos. Ring was later found guilty of “unlawful sexual activity with a minor,” which is a second degree felony, and served three years in prison until his release in 2014.

In the years that followed, Ring worked his way into the inner circles of Tampa politics. He hosted fundraisers, bocce ball tournaments, posed for photos with the mayor and most recently,

supported local campaigns for council members Joe Citro and Lynn Hurtak. Notably, Ring was also listed as a “host” for Tampa Mayor Jane Castor’s re-election campaign launch on Dec. 7. Hurtak faces former State Sen. Janet Cruz— the mother of the mayor’s partner, Ana Cruz—in a runoff election for a City Council District 3 seat on April 25. In a previous statement to CL, Hurtak said she was unaware of Ring’s past, and stated that she was introduced to him through the mayor.

“I was unaware of Gio Fucarino’s alias or criminal history until yesterday. Mayor Castor introduced me to Gio after her state of the city speech on May 11th, shortly after I was appointed to city council,” said Hurtak in a statement. “Mayor Castor told me he was a good friend of hers and a valuable resource to get input from Ybor City residents and business owners, and I took her advice. He has had no role in my campaign other than being a host for a single event; similarly, he was a host for Mayor Castor’s re-election launch event. Mayor Castor regularly talks about how people deserve second chances, and I applaud her for living out those words.”

In response, City of Tampa Communications Director Adam Smith told CL that “the mayor was unaware of his record, and there are no ties to sever.” Smith also added that Castor denies introducing Hurtak to Fucarino. “Mayor Castor has zero recollection of introducing this person to Lynn Hurtak and certainly never encouraged her to make him an advisor,” said Smith.

While the circumstances surrounding Ring’s recent arrest are still unclear, questions also remain regarding how exactly the story moved through Tampa’s media landscape. CL first reported Ring’s arrest on March 22. But according to our research, the very first online mention of Ring’s March 17 arrest shows up in the Bayside West Nextdoor page, where a brand-new, daysold account with no profile picture attempted to connect Ring to Hurtak’s campaign.

LOCAL NEWS

“This man was arrested for not disclosing he was a sex offender,” said Sam Alvarez in his first post. “Isn’t he Lynn Hurtak’s campaign manager? He hosted fundraisers for her and they are friends.”

In over a dozen other posts that followed, Alvarez continued to attempt to link Hurtak to Ring (without mentioning any of his other political ties) and claimed he was banned by “Lynn supporters” trying to “suppress the truth.”

politicians, including Castor, who he has referred to as his “favorite mayor.”

When Twitter users, including former Florida Politics staff writer Daniel Figueroa and WMNF public affairs host Tom Scherberger, called him out for not including key details in his story, Schorsch replied, “Dan and Tom - I do not share your ultra progressive view of Tampa politics and I will die on that hill to protect what has been built. I see first hand what far left pols have done to Tally and other cities and I will work to stop that.”

As the Tampa Bay Times points out, “Schorsch has faced accusations that he provides favorable or negative coverage of politicians based on whether they advertise with him. An NPR/ Floodlight investigation recently linked FlaPol to Matrix, a consulting firm that allegedly flowed to money news sites which attacked critics of its clients. In the story, Schorsch said “he doesn’t observe traditional journalistic practices.”

CL submitted public records requests for police documents and body cam footage from Ring’s arrest at the Italian Club on March 17. Our requests were denied under Chapter 119 of the Florida Statutes, with the City of Tampa saying the “case is still an open investigation therefore, it is not public record.”

Calls to Tampa Police Detective Brian Campagnano, who’s listed on documents related to Ring’s arrest, have not been returned. CL’s public records request for communications between Campagnano, Smith, Mayor Castor, and Castor’s Chief of Staff John Bennett were also denied under Chapter 119.

On March 24, shortly after the Alvarez posts on Nextdoor, La Gaceta publisher Patrick Manteiga asserted in his “As We Heard It Column” that “Ashley Bauman, who is helping run the campaigns of Janet Cruz and Mayor Jane Castor, was shopping a story with local news reporters hoping someone would write that Fucarino was associated with City Councilwoman Lynn Hurtak’s campaign.”

One outlet that did pick up the story was Florida Politics, which published shortly after CL’s story, but with the headline, “Does Lynn Hurtak campaign have ties to a registered sex offender?” In the post, Florida Politics publisher Peter Schorsch failed to mention Ring’s connections to other local

In a text message to CL, Bauman, Managing Director in the Tampa office of Mercury public relations, said, “I don’t read La Gaceta so I wouldn’t shop a story to them.” She did not deny shopping the story to other outlets.

“There are certainly sufficient visuals of their friendship and connection and Fucarino has introduced himself as her senior advisor to multiple people,” Bauman added. Asked to name some of those multiple people, she said, “Do your due diligence.”

Bauman also claimed that Ring called Janet Cruz and asked her not to run against Hurtak; asked to provide the time and date of the phone call, Bauman said, “Janet doesn’t even have Gio’s number saved to pull it up.”

ENTERED THE RING: A local politico has pleaded not guilty in a very-Tampeño scenario.

Bust or bust

Anti-union bill teed up for a full House vote despite mass opposition.

By McKenna Schueler

Curtis Hierro, a union organizer with the Communications Workers of America labor union, grew up in poverty in South Miami Dade County. His father was incarcerated for getting caught up in the drug trade. His mother was a sex worker. He grew up in homelessness, in “communities of struggle.”

But he made it out of that life. How?

“Because I had a strong grandmother, and because I found the labor movement—and I’m not alone,” Hierro told the Florida House State Affairs Committee last week, his voice rising with his impassioned message. Hierro shared his personal story, similar to a number of other working class Floridians, during testimony on House Bill 1445, a Republican-sponsored bill targeting most of Florida’s public sector unions. The bill ultimately passed by the committee, with all 6 Democrats opposed, 14 Republicans in favor, and one absent Republican vote.

This favorable vote occurred despite over an hour of public testimony from union members and a couple non-union opponents of the bill in solidarity from across the state. It now heads to the full House floor, where it’s likely to pass.

Among other things, the bill would ban the automatic payroll deduction of union dues from union members’ paychecks (an inconvenience that workers describe as “government overreach”), and would require unions to maintain a membership of 60% of eligible employees in order to remain certified, or risk decertification.

It’s unpopular. Florida educators, who are currently facing an onslaught of “culture war” educational policies designed to make their jobs harder and less appealing, oppose the bill. Private sector union members, who aren’t directly targeted by the bill, have come out to oppose it. Republican union members have also spoken out against it.

“This bill kind of reminds me of my ex-wife,” one Republican worker told Florida lawmakers, with his current wife filming him on her phone beside the podium.

“My ex-wife was always doing the extra: extra this, extra that,” he shared, earning no small number of gasps and laughter from those in the committee room. “So, this bill has a bunch of ‘extra’ in it that is not needed.”

That was some difficult public testimony to follow. Other self-described Republican union members, speaking to the majority-Republican committee, said the bill infringes on their freedom to pay their union dues as they like.

“Don’t tell me how to handle my paycheck,” said Chris Payne, a Republican teacher of 32 years in Nassau County, and a former soldier of

25 years. “It’s not big enough anyway, so don’t tell me what to do with it.”

Several union members said that it essentially forces workers in a right-to-work state like Florida to become union members to keep their union (and their union contract, containing agreements on things such as wages, health insurance, and job benefits) alive. The committee passed it anyway. But we’ve seen this before.

Here we go again

Late last month, Florida’s GOP-dominated

and which have had a target painted on their backs by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis.

However, unions representing a wide range of public workers, including public sector resident physicians, represented by the 1199 SEIU, working upward of 80 hours per week; 911 dispatchers; garbage collectors; educational support staff and school counselors, and more would be affected. All in all, over 150,000 workers across the state could be effected.

membership after former Gov. Rick Scott signed into law a 50% membership threshold, solely for educator unions, in 2018. Teacher unions largely avoided decertification after that law passed, but several teachers have told Orlando Weekly that it’s not that simple.

FLORIDA NEWS

Both bills carve out unions representing police officers, firefighters, corrections and probation officers, which traditionally endorse Republicans for office and generously donate to Republican candidates’ campaign funds.

After Orlando Weekly reported that the bill’s passage could threaten the state’s ability

Because Florida’s a right-to-work state, you don’t have to be a dues-paying member in order to benefit from a union contract covering your workplace. This makes it harder for unions to convince union members to sign up and financially support their union, to help make it into a stronger fighting unit.

Similar legislation to HB 1445 has been introduced year after year since 2011, when it was then-Rep. Matt Gaetz leading the charge, similar to legislators in a number of state legislatures across the country at the time.

Last year, in 2022, a similar bill for public sector unions—imposing a 50% membership threshold, as well as a ban on automatic dues deductions—narrowly avoided passage. It passed the House, but not the Senate. This year is different.

Republican lawmakers have been emboldened by their supermajority in Florida’s state legislature, which essentially allows them to streamline and advance their political priorities. Florida Democrats, outnumbered, possess less power when it comes to voting on legislation to shut those initiatives down.

During discussion and debate in the State Affairs Committee, Democrats still spoke strongly against the bill, and not a single Democrat voted in favor.

BY BOB WHITMORE

“This bill, to me, is a part of this insidious cadre of bills that are targeted at working people, targeting Black and brown folks in the state of Florida,” said Rep. Michele RaynerGoolsby, D-St. Petersburg, referencing the fact that historically, the public sector has been a key employer for people of color.

Rep. Robin Bartleman, also a Democrat, said if Republicans really wanted to level the playing field for union workers, the GOP could trash a provision of Florida’s state constitution that bars public sector workers from striking. “That’s leveling the playing field,” she said, to applause from members of the public.

Senate approved a Senate version of the bill (SB 256) on the Senate floor, after facing its own wave of opposition from dozens of union members and Democratic lawmakers during its committee stops. Just five Republican Senators crossed party lines that time to oppose it. Both bills are interpreted as an attack on Florida’s teachers unions, which make up a large chunk of Florida’s unionized public sector workforce,

to secure federal transit funds, Sen. Ingoglia, who’s sponsored SB 256, filed an amendment adding public transit workers to the laundry list of workers exempted from his “pro-union” legislation.

Florida Rep. Dean Black, who’s behind the House version, also claimed on Tuesday that the bill “will strengthen unions,” pointing to teachers unions that had to scramble to raise their

Dozens of union members from across the state, who come from a diversity of occupational backgrounds, have traveled to Tallahassee to ask lawmakers to oppose the bill. As some Democrats and union members critical of the bill have pointed out, it’s right-wing think tanks and organizations like the Florida Chamber of Commerce, the James Madison Institute and the Freedom Foundation that support the bill.

A bill analysis shows that, if the bill passes, it could also cost the state an estimated $903,238 in administrative costs (taxpayer money) to continued on page 21

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recertify unions that fall below the 60% membership threshold imposed by the legislation.

Workers covered by that union could vote to recertify—as Rep. Black pointed out—but why put workers through that process in the first place? And then, if it’s meant to “strengthen unions,” why are police and firefighters carved out of it, and why don’t labor unions support it?

during public testimony that that requirement alone would “bankrupt” her union.

FLORIDA NEWS

The Florida Senate’s budget proposal for the year has already factored in the cost of the bill’s implementation, adding an extra one million in funding for the state Public Employee Relations Commission, a DeSantisappointed panel that oversees Florida’s public sector union elections. The budget specifically names SB 256 to justify that allocation.

The bill also imposes financial auditing requirements that even Republican Sen. Joe Gruters has admitted could unduly burden smaller unions with fewer financial resources.

A supervisor secretary for the Nassau County School Board told House lawmakers

All Republicans (save Rep. Mooney, whose vote isn’t recorded) voted in favor of the bill, which is not dissimilar to similar bills introduced targeting public sector workers in Oklahoma, Oregon, and Utah. Kentucky’s governor, a Democrat, recently vetoed a bill passed by that state’s legislature that would ban automatic dues deductions to “protect Kentucky’s hardworking families.” State lawmakers, however, overrided it.

During the vote in the Florida House committee (the bill’s last committee stop), Orlando State Rep. Anna Eskamani, who regularly shows up to organized labor actions in support of worker rights, declared, “Absolutely not. I would rather die.”

In front of the full Florida House, the bill will face 84 Republicans, and 35 Democrats. This story first appeared in Creative Loafing's sibling publication Orlando Weekly.

THIS PLACE IS A PRISON: Michele Rayner-Goolsby was among Democrats against the bill.

STATE OF FLORIDA

“This bill, to me, is a part of this insidious cadre of bills that are targeted at working people.”

FRIDAY 14

Clearwater Police Chief Daniel Slaughter is retiring so he can become assistant city manager. Definitely nothing shady about a top cop taking a high level position at city hall.

MONDAY 17

Shit Happened

to the happiest place on earth. This man really knows how to hold a grudge.

Food & Wine magazine readers name Tampa International Airport one of the Top 10 in the U.S. for food options. But don’t you dare carry it onto the plane and eat it in the cabin.

A proposal that would require Florida school districts to share local property-tax revenue with charter schools is teed up for consideration by the full House. Why not just fire all the teachers and make the kids teach themselves at this point?

After getting owned by Disney, Florida Gov. DeSantis threatens to build a state prison next

WFLA says a Plant City man was arrested Monday after stealing thousands of dollars worth of Pokemon cards. So they caught the man that caught them all.

Shit Happened is taking a break for two weeks. See you in May, and look for Bob Whitmore’s cartoon to join Tom Tomorrow in this space for a couple issues.

SLAUGHD6/TWITTER

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High expectations

30 of Tampa Bay’s most munchie-friendly restaurants, bars and food trucks.

By Kyla Fields

Stoner Christmas, aka 4/20, is around the corner, and there’s no better way to celebrate than by toking it up with your buds and indulging in your favorite munchie meal. From unique combinations like jelly doughnut burgers and giant meatballs stuffed with spaghetti, to late-night eats and affordable meals—Tampa Bay is ripe with eateries that will satisfy anyone’s late-night, munchieinduced cravings. Here over two dozen local bars, restaurants and food trucks to frequent when you’re high AF.

pan-fried dumplings and honey walnut shrimp. Plus, it’s open until 11:30 p.m. almost every night. 2705 54th Ave. N NO. 3, St. Petersburg. @abcseafoodreataurant on Facebook

DINING GUIDE

ABC Seafood This traditional Cantonese eatery is packed pretty much every night of the week, stuffed with happy customers tackling mounds of fried rice, Hong Kong-style crabs,

Bella’s Italian Cafe There’s nothing more satisfying than decadent pasta dishes, thick calzones and fresh pizza made for one—and this South Tampa favorite specializes in those dishes alongside a spread of other hearty Italian favorites. Bella’s offers late-night eats on Friday and Saturday nights, and the off-menu move is to order a side of meatballs, a ramekin of the restaurant’s homemade bleu cheese dressing, then stuff it all inside of a hollowed-out bread roll straight from the server station steamer. 1413 S Howard Ave. No. 100, Tampa. bellasitaliancafe.com

The Burg Bar & Grill This Central Avenue underdog is known for its cheap drinks and daily specials, but its munchie-friendly menu deserves some praise, too. The bar’s chicken and waffle sandwich and house-made potato chips loaded with cheese sauce and jalapenos stand out. 1752 Central Ave., St. Petersburg.theburgbar.com

Cappy’s This pizzeria’s menu is short and sweet, and its cheesy, saucy goodness fulfills that nighttime craving every time. Can’t go wrong with a Chicago deep dish “Cappy,” loaded with sausage, ham, pepperoni, green onion and mushrooms. Just order ahead of closing if you’re trying to eat after a late night smoke session. Multiple locations through Tampa Bay. cappyspizzaonline.com

Chanko Seminole Heights’ homestyle Japanese restaurant has self-serve screens instead of front of house employees, so at least your stoned self doesn’t have to interact with any humans to order Chanko’s mountain of okonomiyaki, stacked curry platters or loaded rice plates. The former Chop Chop Shop offers a smaller menu than its predecessor, but still dishes out hearty Japanese food and hard-tobeat portions. 4603 N Florida Ave., Tampa. chanko-ichiban.com

Chile Verde The ‘Burg’s go-to spot for street tacos, Chile Verde is a gas station-turned-taqueria that offers a variety of comforting Mexican eats, from chimichangas to enchiladas. Smother whatever you order in its housemade green and continued on page 32

GET FRIED: Datz’s ‘Cheesy Todd’ burger comes with fried mac and cheese-stuffed buns.

continued from page 29

red salsas, but you might feel it later. 2801 22nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg. chileverde22nd.com

Datz Giant spaghetti-stuffed meatballs, Nashville chicken doughnut sandwiches and mac and cheese-filled buns—Datz’s menu was pretty much made with munchie cravings in mind. Even its brunch offerings—with dishes like creme brulee french toast and short rib biscuit benedict—is wake and bake-friendly. The Dotchos—housemade sweet-n-salty chips, topped with chili, cheese, jalapeño, sour cream, blue cheese drizzle and scallions—are straight out of a Cheech & Chong wet dream. Multiple locations through Tampa Bay. datztampa.com

DINING GUIDE

probably deserves to be on this list. Build-yourown loaded potatoes are joined by giant hot dogs, loaded mac and cheese bowls and ramen. Its Elvis-themed hot dog comes topped with peanut butter, marshmallows and bacon bits, if you’re into that sort of thing. 626 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. @thehalfbaked_stpete on Instagram

Jubao Palace Noodle Bar

but you can’t go wrong with the sandwiches or burgers either. 3590 34th St. N, St. Petersburg. kristinascafestpete.com

Dead Bob’s This St. Pete Beach-adjacent watering hole is a dive bar with a hidden gem of a menu. Locals love its cheap burger specials, chicken wings and fried shrimp, which are offered until 3 a.m. daily. 6717 Central Ave. N, St. Petersburg. deadbobsstpete.com

Due Amici Everyone’s had a late-night, drunken slice of ‘za from this Ybor City favorite, but Due Amici welcomes customers under all types of influences. Although its variety of fresh slices entice the eye, don’t sleep on the pizzeria’s salads, chicken parmesan sammies or pastas either. 1724 E 7th Ave., Ybor City. dueamiciybor.com

Engine No. 9 Take it from Engine No. 9’s loyal, but drunk, customer base—this restaurant’s unique burgers, sriracha-crusted wings and fried pickle spears make it one of the best nightcaps in all of ‘The Burg. Plus, there’s a solid cocktail, beer and seltzer selection if you’d like to keep your buzz going. 56 Dr M.L.K. Jr St. N, St. Petersburg. no9burgers.com

Fo’Cheezy Twisted Meltz Dishing out ridiculously-loaded grilled cheeses—stuffed with anything from Korean-style short rib and crispy pork belly to fried chicken and tater tots— Fo’Cheezy’s menu is a munchie paradise. It gets extra stoner points for its “Half Baked” cookies and cream milkshake. 111 3rd St. N, St. Petersburg. focheezy.com

Gangchu This Seminole Heights hotspot offers late night Korean eats on Friday and Saturday, specializing in twice-fried chicken wings and shareable platters. There’s also a variety of beer and cocktails for your cottonmouth, but don’t get too crossfaded and embarrass yourself in the karaoke room. 6618 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. eatgangchu.com

The Galley This downtown gem is a small, unassuming bar that dishes out a menu full of comforting Florida favorites. Its late night fare includes Cuban sandwiches, fried shrimp and smoked fish spread, which are all offered until 3 a.m. daily. 27 4th St. N, St. Petersburg. thegalleystpete.com

The Half-Baked Potato When a restaurant’s motto is literally “420 vibes all day long,” it

You’re stoned, slurping piping hot noodles, and watching Jubao’s staff slice pork belly and stir fry rice in picturesque synchronization. There’s nowhere else in Tampa you can gamble and then enjoy high quality Asian cuisine at 3 a.m. on any given day of the week—and yes, it’s always worth the 30-minute wait. Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, 5223 Orient Rd., Tampa. seminolehardrocktampa.com

La Teresita This Tampa institution was a true munchie paradise when it was open round the clock on the weekends, but its Anthony Bourdain-approved, cafeteria-style Cuban platters, sandwiches and pastries still hit the spot even if it’s not 2 a.m. 3248 W Columbus Dr., Tampa. lateresitarestaurant.com

The Lure This is the type of restaurant you take your indecisive friend to, because the menu covers pretty much every type of cuisine. From loaded mac and cheese bowls and sushi to tapasstyle small plates and tacos, The Lure’s eclectic offerings can satisfy any type of craving. 661 Central Ave. N, St. Petersburg. thelurestpete.com

Madison Avenue Pizza From comicallysized slices that not even Cheech & Chong

platters. Bonus munchie points for Nico’s latenight eats that are more than a few steps above fast food. 8303 N Armenia Ave, Suite no. 2, Tampa. nicosarepasgrill.com

Nine Spices Hot Pot & Korean BBQ This hot pot and Korean BBQ restaurant is all-youcan-eat and open until 1 a.m. daily—you’re just responsible for making your food taste good. Take ingredients for your soup from its rotating conveyor belt, or order as many servings of beef bulgogi or spare ribs as you’d like. Just make sure you eat it all or Nine Spices will charge you an additional fee. 6851 66th St. N, Pinellas Park. ninespiceshotpotfl.com

Rene’s Mexican Kitchen This tiny food truck dishes out mighty Mexican eats of fat burritos, tacos and “house speciality” platters. The Seminole Heights spot recently started slinging $2 breakfast tacos for all you frugal wake-and-

King of the Coop This is the go-to spot to satisfy cravings for intense spice, crispy chicken and that type of run-down-your-arms sauciness. Order the “The King Mac” for mac and cheesetopped chicken tenders smothered between two potato buns and slaw. Multiple locations through Tampa Bay. kingofthecoop.com

Kristina’s Cafe We miss when this St. Pete diner was open 24 hours a day pre-2020, but its comforting American dishes still hit the spot at all times. All-day breakfast is a must,

could conquer to unique specialty pies like its crab rangoon or Chick-fil-A pizzas, this Dunedin favorite has an ultra-loyal fan base for a reason. We’re just hoping the pickle pizza makes its way to Madison Avenue’s menu once again. 2660 Bayshore Blvd., Dunedin. madisonavepizza.com

Nico’s Arepas Grill This North Tampa Venezuelan spot dishes out fat arepas loaded with meat and cheese, empanadas, South American-style burgers and traditional dinner

bakers out there. 4414 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. @renesmexicankitchenofficial on Facebook

Santoro’s Pizzeria This casual North Hyde Park eatery dishes out real deal Jerseystyle pizza that will impress any of Tampa’s many Northeastern transplants. From single slices and cheesesteaks loaded with cheese whiz, to breakfast sandwiches with Jersey’s beloved pork roll—Santoro’s and its quick service will have those munchie cravings fulfilled

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HIT THE BOWL: Jubao Noodle Bar dishes out steaming hot bowls of pho, stir fry and and fried rice.

JUBAO NOODLE BAR/FACEBOOK

continued from page 32

in no time. Bonus points if you can resist and save room for the zeppoles. 1329 W Cass St., Tampa. santorospizzeria.com

Sesh The folks over at Mad Beach Brewing Co. just debuted their new St. Pete brewpub, and its menu is stacked with hearty dishes like grouper sandwiches, burgers and bowls. Its beloved jelly doughnut burger—two smash burgers, berry jam, bacon and cheese smothered between two doughnut buns—certainly gets the stoner stamp of approval. 2221 4th St. N, St Petersburg. seshstpete.com

Tampa Bay Brewing Co. Some folks come for the craft beer, others come for the tasty brew pub fare. TBBC’s munchie-friendly eats include wings, fried pickles, pizzas, calzones, seafood baskets and thick burgers. Its Westchase location offers the same food menu, too. 1600 E 8th Ave., Ybor City. tbbc.beer

nonsense menu of well-executed bar food and a variety of local and domestic beer to match. No one at this fast-paced bar will judge you for your red eyes, or for ordering a spread of nachos, tacos, chicken wings and patty melts. There are also lots of vegan and vegetarian options too, like fried mushrooms and zucchini, veggie tacos and loaded tater tots. 7220 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. thewheelhousestpete.com

DINING GUIDE

Xtreme Tacos This taqueria’s 18 inch-long “stoner burrito” is loaded with your choice of protein, french fries, rice, beans, pico and cheese—but there’s a slew of other Mexican favorites like tacos and quesadillas you can also indulge in. Xtreme Tacos gets a few extra points for being accommodating to vegan and vegetarian stoners, too. 5609 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. xtremetacos.com

Three Coins Diner Any local diner that’s open 24 hours a day deserves to be on this list, and Three Coins’ round-the-clock breakfast dishes, sandwiches and burgers will satisfy any late-night munchie craving. 7410 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. Three Coins Diner on Facebook

The Wheelhouse Far from the bustle of downtown, this west St. Pete gem offers a no

Zeko’s Mediterranean Grill It's fastcasual spot that’s perfect for when you need a meal that’s a step or two up from Salem’s (plus, its Busch Boulevard location stays open until 4 a.m. daily.) Zeko's dishes out anything from gyros and shawarma to fried seafood and falafel platters. You’ll have to wait in the drive-thru as the food gets made-to-order, but that just means more time to hotbox the whip. Multiple locations throughout Tampa Bay. zekosgrill.com

SUPREME EATS: Xtreme Tacos specializes in loaded quesadillas and 18 inch-long stoner burritos.

Here’s the deal

Tampa Bay Taco Week returns, and more Tampa Bay foodie news.

By Kyla Fields

The best way to discover your new favorite taco spot is back. The 2023 rendition of Tampa Bay Taco Week runs 10 days from Thursday, April 20- Sunday, April 30, with almost two dozen local restaurants, taquerias and cantinas offering their best dine-in and take-out deals. Each restaurant participating in this year’s Tampa Bay Taco Week will offer their own taco special, plus deals on Corona beer, Hornitos, El Tesoro, Tres Generaciones tequila, and more. Concepts participating in the annual Creative Loafing Tampa Bay event include: Cider Press Vegan Gastropub, Gallito, Datz, Independent Bar & Cafe, Jimmy’s Tacos, JoToro, Sea Dog Brewery, Miguel’s and Red Mesa Cantina, alongside many, many more. From expected proteins to innovative tacos, folks will be able to enjoy a wide range of Mexican-inspired eats starting this week. All you have to do is ask an employee at any participating restaurant what their Tampa Bay Taco Week specials are.

Vegan grocery store Black Radish to close St. Pete storefront

One of The ‘Burg’s go-to plant-based spots will soon close its doors—but there’s still some time to grab a vegan Cuban sammie before its very last day. Black Radish St. Pete, located at 246 Dr. M.L.K. Jr St. N, announced its imminent closure on Instagram last week.

“We’ve loved having the opportunity to share our dream with you and are abundantly grateful to every person who has supported us in any way along this journey,” Black Radish wrote on social media. “Our staff is and always will be our chief concern. Due to this, we intend to operate thru Monday, April 24th.”

FOOD NEWS

And if you’re interested in winning more than great deals on tacos, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay is also hosting a social media contest where folks can have the chance to win gift cards and $400 in CL Deals. For more information on Tampa Bay Taco Week 2023, head to tampabaytacoweek.com— where you can also find the full list of participating restaurants—or follow @cltampabay on Instagram.

Until its last day on April 24, all of its items—except mocktails and hot deli sandwiches—will be 15% off to help the small grocery store clear its inventory. It’s not all bad news though; Black Radish’s flagship storefront in V.M. Ybor will remain open at 2923 N 12th St. Last week’s social media post explains that a few changes might happen at its Tampa grocery, but its owners say that they are “confident we will be able to fully dedicate ourselves to our goals by covering a smaller footprint.”

Black Radish’s St. Pete location opened its doors just 16 months ago to community acclaim and appreciation for its hard-to-find vegan

products, pressed sandwiches, and unwavering support of other locally-owned businesses— including popular concepts like House of Vegano, Lucky Tigre, Catalyst Creamery, Katie’s Cookies, Gulf Coast Sourdough and Gabby Bakes.

Black Radish’s Tampa storefront remains open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Friday-Monday, with its deli slinging beautiful vegan sammies from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. those same days. Before next week’s closure, its St. Pete location will operate with the same hours as Tampa for both its grocery and deli.

Sesh, a new brewery and restaurant, is now open out of St. Pete’s former Melting Pot After literal years of anticipation, St. Pete’s newest craft brewery and restaurant soft opened earlier this month at 2221 4th St. N. Sesh’s debut has been a long time coming, since its owners—the same folks from John’s Pass’ Mad Beach Craft Brewing Co.—have been tirelessly restoring the historic, wooden building for the greater part of two years. Its website states that parts of Sesh are well over a century old.

With a menu full of beer-friendly eats similar to its sibling Mad Beach, Sesh offers hearty dishes like alligator po’boys, grouper sandwiches, baby back ribs, and build-your-own grain bowls. More upscale entrees include a surf and turf, scallop ceviche, and fresh-caught fish which you can order blackened, roasted or baked. Alongside its lunch and dinner options, the new brewpub also features a wide variety of sangria, craft cocktails and house-brewed craft beers, seltzers and ciders.

Powers, who is also the CEO of Mad Beach, announced the debut of his new brewpub back in 2021; it was originally slated to open in early 2022. Preserve the ‘Burg says that Sesh’s unique building was once a popular roadside attraction through the 1950s called the “Wood Parade.” Woodworker, boat racer and orchestra director Earl Gresh constructed it in the early 1930s to look like a traditional English cottage. It then served as a museum for his crafts and other work. Sesh St. Pete is now open from 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Mondays-Saturdays and 10 a.m.-3 p.m. for brunch on Sundays.

Celebrity chef Fabio Viviani’s newest Chuck Lager location is now open in Oldsmar

Celebrity chef and “Top Chef” contestant Fabio Viviani opened his newest Chuck Lager America’s Tavern location in Oldsmar at 4016 Tampa Rd.

The new spot was created by Viviani, Chuck Lager, Craig Colby and Michael Colby. The menu is focused primarily on casual “New American,” cuisine but features international influences like Viviani's signature beef & pork ricotta meatballs, truffle mushroom flatbread and Italian -Cubano sandwich. The drink menu includes craft cocktails, bourbons, wines, whiskey and draft beers.

Viviani, a restaurateur who moved from Italy to the U.S. to launch his cooking career, has been seen on three seasons of the television show “Top Chef." The first Chuck Lager America’s Tavern in Tampa Bay opened at The Shops at Wiregrass in Wesley Chapel in 2020 and the second at Westshore Marina District last year.—Tyana Rodgers

TACO BOUT IT: Dozens of Tampa Bay restaurants will offer taco deals from April 20-30.

MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE

Life’s a garden

Seven ways to celebrate Earth Day around Tampa Bay.

By Jennifer Ring

Since its inception in April 1970, Earth Day’s been about cleanup. There was no Clean Air Act, no Clean Water Act, and no Environmental Protection Agency back then. According to the EPA, “Before 1970, a factory could spew black clouds of toxic smoke into the air or dump tons of toxic waste into a nearby stream, and that was perfectly legal.” A lot has changed since then, but the cleanup lives on, especially around Tampa Bay.

Not in the mood to pick up after other people this Earth Day? Several Tampa-Bay-area events provide creative ways to enjoy this beautiful planet we live on. Here’s our roundup of all the planet-saving and planet-enjoying events we could find around Tampa Bay this Earth Day weekend. See a couple more on p. 6.

Watch WALL-E in North Straub Park

Preserve the Burg’s Movies in the Park starts its 13th year with the 2008 Disney/Pixar classic

“WALL-E.” Music by Gent Treadly at 7 p.m. Movie starts at dusk. Thursday, April 20. 6:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. North Straub Park, 400 Bayshore Dr. NE, St Petersburg. ptb.wildapricot.org/event-5210698

Learn to live green at The Museum of Science and Industry’s 13th Annual Ecofest

Listen to live music, meet local artists, and learn about green living at this free event. MOSI Admission not included. Saturday, April 22. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. MOSI, 4801 E Fowler Ave., Tampa. learninggate.org/support-lg/ecofest

3Shop vegan in St. Pete Vegan and cruelty-free candle makers “Scents from the Crypt” host an Earth Day market with a live DJ, vegan foods, artist wares, and bath and body products. Saturday, April 22. 2 p.m.-6 p.m. The Movement Sanctuary, 910 5th Ave. N Suite A, St. Petersburg. @themovementsanctuary on Facebook

Weekend in the gardens The Florida Botanical Gardens and the Professional

Association of Visual Artists host a full weekend of Earth Day events in Largo. The fun begins Saturday with the Spring Orchid and Plant Sale on McKay Plaza from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. But the main events, including day two of the Spring Orchid and Plant Sale, are on Sunday. PAVA artists paint the gardens live from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. At 10 a.m., the 8th Annual Tour of Public & Private Gardens begins with docent-led tours of the Florida Botanical Gardens through noon. Afterward, guests can grab a map and drive around Pinellas County to see some of the area’s best private gardens. $25 Garden Tour admission, $15 for FBG Foundation Members. Saturday-Sunday, April 22-23. Florida Botanical Gardens, 12520 Ulmerton Road, Largo. flbgfoundation.org/ earthday

Visit one of our gorgeous state parks Florida State Parks are wonderful places to spend any or all of your weekends, but several Florida state parks host special events this Earth Day weekend. Closest to us, Hillsborough River State Park hosts a Respect Our Mother Earth Day. The celebration includes tree plantings, hikes, an educational paddle, children’s story time, and

a community EcoFair where you can make trail mix and meet live animals. Saturday, April 22. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. $6 per vehicle. Hillsborough River State Park 15402 U.S. 301 Thonotosassa. floridastateparks.org/events

Take a self-guided scavenger hunt through Sunken Gardens Head to Sunken Gardens and find the answers to essential questions, like “Which of their flamingos laid an egg?” in this light-hearted family activity. Saturday, April 22. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Adults $15, Seniors $12, Children $6. 1825 4th St, N, St. Petersburg. stpete. org/visitors/sunken_gardens.php

Help clean Tampa Bay’s parks, beaches, and ports Keep Tampa Bay Beautiful hosts Earth Day cleanup events at Port Tampa Bay Friday, April 21 and Rowlett Park Saturday, April 22. On the other side of the bay, Keep Pinellas Beautiful hosts cleanups in Treasure Island, St. Pete, Redington Beach, Indian Rocks Beach, Upham Beach, and Kiwanis Park Saturday, April 22. Several Keep Pinellas Beautiful cleanup events are already at capacity. But if you reach out to Keep Pinellas Beautiful, they’d be happy to help you find a cleanup activity near you. keeptampabaybeautiful.org

DIG IT: Light-hearted, family-friendly earth-lover indoctrination awaits at Sunken Gardens. CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

UTAGAWA HIROSHIGE, Geese Flying before a Full Moon, c. 1837-43. Color woodblock print, Image courtesy of Gibbes Museum of Art

Lasting Impressions: Japanese Prints from the Read-Simms Collection was organized by the Gibbes Museum of Art, Charleston, South Carolina

Always sunny

Things to look forward to at the Sunscreen Film Festival.

By Jennifer Ring

Tampa Bay area filmmakers look forward to Sunscreen Film Festival every year. The annual fest has a reputation for hosting great workshops, and this year is no different. The 18th Annual Sunscreen Film Festival features three days’ worth of acting, directing, pitching, casting, and distribution workshops. But what if you’re not an aspiring actor or filmmaker? Here’s our list of Sunscreen events that anyone can enjoy.

Start your Sunscreen with a cute dog Matt Grabow’s “The Year of the Dog” launches this year’s Sunscreen with an adorable Alaskan Husky named Yup’ik who befriends a recovering alcoholic (played by Grabow) in Montana. Thursday, April 27. 4 p.m. AMC Sundial 12, theater #1. theyearofthedogmovie.com

Get “A Taste of Love” in Dunedin Sunscreen’s official opening night film brings us home to Dunedin, where a struggling out-ofwork Network TV chef finds love while visiting her parents. The indie romantic comedy isn’t a

Hallmark movie, but it sure sounds like one. And with veteran Hallmark movie producer Elayne Schneiderman Schmidt on the job, I think it’s safe to say that this film falls into the Hallmark romance genre. Thursday, April 27. 7:30 p.m. AMC Sundial 12 Theater no. 1. tasteoflovemovie.com

Watch children dance their way out of homelessness in ‘Lift’ “Lift” is more than just the name of a documentary; it’s also the name of a 30-year-old New York City Theatre Ballet Project program. The program provides scholarships to homeless, home-insecure, and at-risk children and offers them a future in ballet. The documentary (stylized, “LIFT”) tells the story of one such child, Steven Melendez, who entered the program at age seven and is now the artistic director of the New York Theatre Ballet. The film, which won an audience award at Tribeca, shows Melendez paying it forward, connecting with at-risk kids and teaching them to dance. Friday, April 28. 9:30 a.m.-11 a.m. AMC Sundial 12 theater #2. liftdocumentary.com

FILM & TV

Sunscreen Film Festival

blockbuster? Marvel Vice President Mitch Bell will be at this year’s Sunscreen to answer all your questions. Friday, April 28. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. AMC Sundial 12 theater No. 1. Face your fears Sunscreen’s Chills and Thrills shorts block brings a series of real-life and imagined fears to life on the big screen. The films vary in length from three to 15 minutes and feature everything from make-believe tales of shadow creatures (“The Lurking Shadows”) and murder (“Hammer”) to a real-life story of what it’s like to live with OCD, afraid of what your disorder might do to your family (“Waving”). Friday, April 28. 1:15 p.m.-3:15 p.m. AMC Sundial 12 theater no.

April 27-30. Various venues. $12 & up MC Sundial 12, 151 2nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg. sunscreenfilmfestival.com

Celebrate Tampa’s heritage If you missed the October 2022 premiere of “La Gaceta: 100 Years and 3 Generations Behind America’s Only Trilingual Newspaper” at Ybor City’s Cuban Club, now’s your chance to see it in St. Pete. The locally-made documentary tells the story of Ybor City-based newspaper La Gaceta as they celebrate 100 years of telling local news stories. Like the paper, the film is trilingual. Friday, April 28. 8:30 p.m. p.m. AMC Sundial 12 theater no. 3.

Go behind the scenes of Marvel Ever wonder what it’s like to produce a Marvel

1. Explore Native American culture with Áron Gauder in ‘Four Souls of Coyote’ “Nothing is eternal but the Earth and the mountains;” this is the message within “Four Souls of the Coyote.” The animated feature, from Hungarian animator Áron Gauder, tells a Native American creation story within the context of present-day life. Friday, April 28. 3 p.m. AMC Sundial 12 theater no. 3. 4soulsofcoyote.com/film

Peer into the lives of wild horses The writer and director of Disney’s 2020 “Black Beauty” remake, Ashley Avis, took a deep dive into the lives of wild horses in the Western United States. See what she saw in the featurelength documentary “Wild Beauty: Mustang Spirit of the West.” Saturday, April 29. 9:3011:15 a.m. wildbeautyfoundation.org

Catch your first dogumentary I’m sure you’ve seen a documentary, but have you ever seen a dogumentary? Well, here’s your chance. Abby’s List follows Mark Sutherland as he accompanies his aging dog Abby on a crosscountry bucket-list trip. The feature-length documentary features appearances from celebrity zookeeper Jack Hanna and Bill Farmer, the voice of Goofy. Saturday, April 29. 4:15-6 p.m. AMC Sundial 12 theater no. 2. abbyslistmovie.com

SPACE, COWBOY: ‘Wild Beauty’ puts moviegoers right in front of wild mustangs.

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I came to slay Straz Center’s BIPOC play-reading series is this weekend

By Yuki Jackson

Iwill be a featured playwright at The David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts this Sunday, April 23 for its BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and People of Color) Play-Reading Series. This series presents excerpts from plays written by both national and local writers.

My show will be a live performance interpretation of my unpublished memoir in-verse titled “Record: Testimony of the Divine Feminine”. The narrative chronicles my experiences in awakening to my identity as the partner/wife of Jesus and Buddha. I’m saying that I’m her, that they are the same guy and that this time around, I’m sharing my perspective and telling my own story. And since my story is obviously a missing voice in the dominantly patriarchal world religions landscape, I hope that it will have the opportunity to be seen and heard by everyone who knows the other side.

We put together this show with the help of several other performers and artists, including spoken word poet Ja’Naye “Modern Medusa” Hardy, filmmaker and writer Juniper Johnson, singer and disability advocate Key Nichols and hip hop beat-maker Eman Drums. They will join me in delivering my work.

POET’S NOTEBOOK

BIPOC Play-Reading Series:

Yuki Jackson

Sunday, April 23, 2:30 p.m. Free Teco Theater at David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts. 1010 N Macinnes Pl., Tampa. strazcenter.org

While I’m expressing this missing narrative from my individual experience, this effort is ultimately resulting from a collective effort to raise the voices of women and marginalized communities, voices that have been obscured or even outright erased.

Intimacy and the complicated nature of my relationship with my partner/husband is a central topic covered within the narrative poems of “Record: Testimony of the Divine Feminine”. It also includes my experiences as an educator and founder of a youth program in a historically marginalized community as well as about mental health, sexuality, racial and social justice.

This opportunity came about through sharing my poetry with some friends last spring, when I was commissioned by the Goodwin-Procter law firm to write and perform a poem for their diversity, equity and inclusion programming. The law firm produced a video of me performing the commissioned poem and when I shared this video, a friend shared it with his friend who is at the Straz. After meeting this new friend, I remembered that I had envisioned a book of my poems eventually being adapted into a stage play and realized this may be the chance to wield it in that direction.

The show will be held at Straz Center’s Teco Theater and will contain some strong language and adult themes including mental illness, sex, and suicide; suggested age is 18 years and over. Admission is free.

I’d like to share one of the poems that will be a part of the show called “KATARA (for real)”. This poem encompasses the overall themes of the story, which I wish to share and that embody both my own individual story of awakening as well as our collective journey and effort to move forward.

KATARA (for real)

I am the One who brought the great flood of warriors onto your shore–roaring, majestic life from the Motherland, hear that rumble–our gale force winds have broke the chains, see it all come rushing as change–so fast best believe that’s whiplash on behalf of the ancestors–in fact we are them–

you see the energy stored from all the injustice we bore only passed on–isn’t bending blood just like bending water? the avatar of God, call me Katara

truth is, we began at the bottom–in that space so dark and deep, we couldn’t be seen–the only light down here is produced from our own heads, projected in third eye position–

it is here where pressure is most profound, where we make our way through the rhythm of sound, manifesting waves from our vibration–this is what it means to sea deeply, that bass throbbing as pulse that begins tsunami–born from the underground,

that place closest to the core, creating waves as crescendo, following lines that lead us to the peak above that mountain in the distance–

you know energy travels as spirals, winding up like a cork about to pop the top off this bottle, shaken up, this blood we drink to form our sanctity–isn’t it once there was no word for the color blue, so we called the sea “blood”–like the stream we laid the beat upon, with enough room to lay our verses and move the masses even before we perform–

this means the mass we gained has been invisible–but it’s been stacking up, all this pressure, all this attempt to hold us down has only made us stronger–

no we are not woke, we are awake, as in a wake, as in those ocean waves created

when a vessel moves through a medium, as in the medium cannot be compressed, as in this wake cannot be suppressed, as in the wake when we gather to pay respects to the dead with their body present–

I am that body who gave all this labor–“what light through yonder water breaks?” this is the real Genesis, meaning these are the generations, a generator cord pumping through these children, aka warriors, best believe these MC’s came out by the dozen–you can’t fade the mother of all creation, the original, the source, follow me and you’ll find your birth–to return to that side we lost, making us complete in this narrative of human history–we are the evolution, the new branch in the story–but in order to understand life, you must reckon with your birth–

even Hokusai couldn’t imagine what was coming–

born as arsenal to seal our fate, best believe I came to slay–and here I will deliver the arc–not as in ship to escape, as in we ARE the great flood–like the arc in my arm raised as they bow to my power–

I am the Great Wave Off Kanagawa, I’m atomic, I’m nuclear–and now we’re in the delivery room–you wanna know how the universe began? One word: BOOM

JOEY MENDEZ/CAMERA CREW

BOOM: Yuki Jackson’s upcoming reading is recommended for audiences 18 and up.

By Josh Bradley & Ray Roa C CL Recommends

THU 20

Drive-By Truckers w/Lydia Loveless

The Truckers’ Patterson Hood played two solo shows in Ybor City last year, but this stop find his Athens, Georgia rock and roll band on tour in support of a new album, Welcome 2 Club VIII , which plays like a tip of the cap to the band’s honky-tonkin, Muscle Shoals origin. Lydia Loveless—a heartbreaking, almost unrivaled Americana songwriter and Bloodshot Records signee—opens the show. (Floridian Social Club, St. Petersburg)

Of Good Nature w/Wheeland Brothers One of Of Good Nature’s first major gigs was opening the 2017 iteration of Reggae Rise Up on the Vibe Stage. Six years down the line, the funky alt-rock outfit is hanging onto the occasional horns, but continues a segue into a more mainstream sound that could potentially land it in a position to rock 97X's Next Big Thing this winter. In the meantime, Skipper’s Smokehouse is where the boys from Charlotte will spend 4/20, with support from the Wheeland Brothers. (Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa)

Prof w/Juice Lord/Bayo/Willie Wonka

Horse, the new album from Jacob Anderson— aka Prof—has a star-studded lineup featuring Kevin Gates, Method Man, and Mac Irv. Not that we expect any major, unannounced guests to show up at the emcee’s Tampa Bay debut on Thursday—nine days before his 39th birthday— but Juice Lord, Bayo, and Willie Wonka play support for what promises to be a late ass work night. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

Tommy Prine Nearly three years after the death of his father John, Tommy Prine has plans to release his debut album this summer. Before that, however, comes a St. Petersburg gig just six-and-a-half miles from the Gulfport home that John kept with his wife (and Tommy’s mom) Fiona. Produced by Ruston Kelly and Gena Johnson, This Far South, due on June 23, is a hat tip to a feeling Tommy (who played the old Hideaway Cafe in 2021) had when he was without purpose, partying and just existing. “I found myself at a fork in the road and chose the better path, and in that moment, I swore I would never be ‘this far south’ again,” he said in a statement. (Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg)

Wilco w/The A’s The Chicago indierock band’s Bay area show arrives nearly a year after the release of its latest album, Cruel Country, where Wilco sprawls out on a 21-track, 80-minute meditation on the United States’ recent tumultuous last few years. Read our interview with Cline via cltampa. com/music. (Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater)

FRI 21

Billy Idol The 67-year-old pop icon, fresh off a run of arena shows and a brief Vegas

residency, is supposed to play a careerspanning set, plus material from his latest EPS, The Roadside and The Cage , released in 2021 and 2022, respectively. A press release says Idol’s “longtime band including his collaborator and lead guitarist of over 40 years, Steve Stevens” will be onstage, too. (Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater)

New World 28th Anniversary Celebration: Will Quinlan and The Vesper Bell w/Andy & The Argonauts/ Navin Ave./Quaint Delusions You only turn 28 once, and our pals at New World Brewery have been putting together some stacked lineups of singer-songwriters, an Allman Brothers tribute show, and even an upcoming Earth Day performance in the Biergarten. Come Friday night, Will Quinlan—a folk-rock poet who has shared stages with Jason Isbell and Jeff Tweedy—and his four-piece backing band, The Vesper Bell headline a full evening of Americana and folksy acts. Michael Starks’ Quaint Delusions project will be there, and so will Andy & The Argonauts—fresh off a new single, “The Great Milky Way”— and Navin Ave., described as “music, art, rebirth, the South, and the quest to find home, salvation and the real inside.” (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa)

Pedro The Lion w/Erik Walters Not that anyone thought that Pedro The Lion was preparing to break up yet again, but the surprise release of the Seattle-based indie outfit’s Havasu last winter was much needed after listening to Phoenix—the band’s 2019 comeback album— on repeat during two years of a pandemic. But the band’s current run of shows doesn’t focus on what’s new, and only sees it run through cover-to-cover performances of both its 1998

debut album It’s Hard to Find a Friend and 2002’s Control. Pedro’s current rhythm guitarist Erik Walkers opens. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

SAT 22

Mipso The indie-Americana quartet recently admitted to only having “skirted through Florida,” while performing in 47 other states before. But people change, because lead mandolin wielder Jacob Sharp recently confirmed that tracks from Mipso’s new album will be unveiled on its four-date, southeast string of shows, which closes in Ybor City. No telling if there’s a surprise release in place, but tickets are still available if the drought has been killing you. (The Attic at Rock Brothers Brewing, Ybor City)

The SteelDrivers We’re still waiting for Chris Stapleton to bring his old band with him on one of his American Road Show tours, but in the meantime, the bluegrass sextet— which performed in downtown Clearwater last winter—will bring its “Riding The Rails” tour to Largo. In February, the group digitally released its performances on the 16th season of “Larry’s Country Diner,” and if the harmonies featured on those tracks are half of what will be showcased at the Central Park Performing Arts Center, you have to be heartless to not at least get goosebumps. (Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo)

SUN 23

Crywank w/Kerry Courtney/Wyatt

Norton The British anti-folk duo can say “farewell” all it wants, but following a

Tommy Prine

continued from page 51

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Codefendants

pandemic and a 2021 house fire, Jay Clayton and Daniel Watson called their breakup off, and their final run of gigs together more or less evolved into just a world tour that included the band’s first-ever shows in the U.S, many of which included support from Canadian indie punk Chastity. Another U.S. run is currently going down, and just like last summer, guilty sadists will converge on a non-festish event in Ybor. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

WED 26

Mac Sabbath w/Roxx Revolt & the Velvets The last time the McDonald’s-themed Black Sabbath parody was in Tampa Bay was a co-headlining gig with everybody’s favorite Ned Flanders-themed metal group, Okilly Dokilly. Roxx Revolt & the Velvets will be the only opening neighborinos present, but how can you say no to hearing “Frying Pan” (parody of “Iron Man”) performed by Slayer MacCheeze and Ronald Osbourne? Oh, and Ozzy himself has expressed his appreciation for the band, so quit your whining and get a sense of humor, OK? (Crowbar, Ybor City)

Natalie Merchant While we hope to see a full 10,000 Maniacs reunion come to fruition one day, ex-vocalist Natalie Merchant has been thriving on her own, having released her first new album of brand-new material in almost a decade last week . Keep Your Courage heavily leans on horn and orchestral arrangements, and most of the songwriting was inspired by Merchant’s time in quarantine, and the love and support she received from those close to her following spinal surgery that left her voiceless for nine months. Thankfully, the procedure happened literally days before the world shut down, and Ms. “Kind and Generous” is vocally strong enough to finally take on her first post-COVID tour, which includes her first stop in Tampa Bay in a decade, with a string quartet, no less. (Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater)

THU 27

Alabama It’s been 20 years since the band’s “American Farewell tour,” but it seems that even the death of co-founder Jeff Cook in November won’t stop Randy Owen and Teddy Gentry from carrying the torch. While new material seems unlikely, the 55-year-old

country outfit’s hits are timeless in the twangy community, and the guys’ stop at the Hard Rock on Thursday will definitely be a change from the nostalgia cruises and tours.

(Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa)

Hoodoo Gurus If you remember the last time Hoodoo Gurus played on a local stage, you’ve either lived in Tampa Bay for a long time, or you’ve followed the superb Australian band since its 1980s formation—or both. “I remember being in Florida! I remember driving across the peninsula, nature trails, and seeing lots of gators! I’m looking forward to coming back!” Brad Shepherd recently told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Read Gabe Echazabal’s full interview at cltampa.com/music, and go see the Australian rock band take on downtown Clearwater for the first time ever. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)

Lost in St. Pete: Strike Anywhere/ War on Women/Zulu/Zeta/Famous Kid Brick/Big Baby Scumbag/OnlyOneTwo/ Codefendants/Gilt/more Two months after headlining Orpheum—and just a week after playing Coachella—Soul Glo is headed back to Tampa Bay. The rising star of Philadelphia hardcore is among headliners for the fourday Lost In St. Pete music and arts festival, happening April 27-30. Other Lost In St. Pete headliners coming to the Sunshine City this week include feminist punk band War on Women, Virgina hardcore favorite Strike Anywhere, soul-power-violence hybrid Zulu, Fat Mike’s new band Codefendants, plus Tampa rappers Famous Kid Brick and Big Baby Scumbag. All told, upwards of 200 bands are on the poster for the four-day festival happening in various venues including Floridian Social, Cage Brewing and the Lost HQ in the Warehouse District. lostinstpete.org

Pat Benatar & Neil Giraldo If you’re expecting to hear the new Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee and her husband perform “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” Thursday night, lower your expectations. Last summer, the 70-year-old classic rock songstress omitted the track from her setlists completely, due to the seemingly-daily occurrence of mass shootings in America. We’ll miss hearing it, but honestly, let the song’s absence at Ruth Eckerd Hall on Thursday night be the worst thing that happens for the rest of the year. Or for that matter, ever. (Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater)

SZA’s 2022 release S.O.S. was a late-inthe-calendar sleeper album of the year that spent eight weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard 200, and now the R&B superstar has plans to bring it to Tampa Bay this fall.

The 33-year-old hasn’t played a show in Tampa since 2017 when she brought her major label debut CTRL to about 700 fans packed into the since-shuttered Ybor City Orpheum. In our review, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay wrote that “You won’t get to see SZA in a room that small ever again.” The prediction rang true, and while SZA had to cancel her 2018 appearance at the old Gary amphitheatre due to vocal cord issues, this return to the stage should be a grand welcome back for all the new fans she’s amassed along the way.

Tickets to see SZA play Tampa’s Amalie Arena on Friday, Sept. 22 at 8 p.m. are on sale now and start at $33.75. The only other Florida show on the tour is on Sept. 22 in Miami. See Josh Bradley’s weekly roundup of new concert announcements below.

Ray Roa

O Som Do Jazz Sunday, April 30. 7 p.m. $12 for members, $15 GA. AX Theater at Warehouse Arts District Association, St. Petersburg

Grouplove Saturday, May 6. 7 p.m. Check 97xonline.com for free ticket drops. Floridian Social, St. Petersburg

Black Radish Birthday: TBA Saturday, May 13. 5 p.m. No cover. Black Radish Grocer, Tampa

Alex Lopez w/Sal Iacobucci/Dreaming

The Blues Sunday, May 21. 7 p.m. $10. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa

Alan Walker Sunday, May 28. 11 a.m.

$50 & up. Hard Rock Event Center Pool at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa

Eli Young Band Thursday, June 1. 6 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Crossbreed Saturday, June 17. 6 p.m. $20. Orpheum, Tampa

Dream Theater w/Devin Townsend/ Animals As Leaders Wednesday, June 21. 7 p.m. $42.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Better Strangers w/Discord Theory/ MAK Saturday, June 24. 8:45 p.m. $12. Hooch and Hive, Tampa

The Dirty Janes w/Mason Pace/Wynton

Existing/Midnight Vice Saturday, June 24. 8 p.m. $10. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa

Colbie Caillat w/Gavin DeGraw F riday, June 30. 7 p.m. $9 & up. The Sound, Clearwater

Dave Koz & Friends w/Candy Dulfer/ Eric Darius Saturday, July 1. 7 p.m. $9 & up. The Sound, Clearwater

Luh Tyler Saturday, July 1. 7 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City

Peter Frampton Sunday, July 2. 7 p.m. $9 & up. The Sound, Clearwater

Hobo Johnson Saturday, July 15. 9 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City

Julian Marley Sunday, July 16. 7 p.m. $27.

Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

The Final Sound w/Abbey Death/Layne

Lyre Friday, July 21. 8 p.m. $15. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa

Sister Hazel Thursday, Aug. 3. 7 p.m.

$27.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Freestyle Explosion Throwback Jam: Stevie B/Taylor Dayne/TKA K7/Debbie

Deb/Shannon/Trinere/Johnny O/ Cynthia/69 Boyz/Rob Base Saturday, August 5. 7:30 p.m. $41.50 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

The All-American Rejects w/New Found Glory/The Starting Line/The Get Up Kids

Friday, Aug. 11. 7 p.m. $35 & up. Midflorida

Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Timmy Trumpet Saturday, Aug. 19. 10 p.m. $30. The Ritz, Ybor City

Clutch w/Giovannie and the Hired

Guns/Mike Dillon Thursday, Aug. 24. 6 p.m. $35. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Bad Omens w/Erra/ISeeStars Tuesday, Sept. 5. 7 p.m. Sold out. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Lil Baby w/The Kid/Laroi/Glorilla/ Glossup/Rylo Rodriguez/Hunxho Friday, Sept. 15. 7 p.m. $45.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

Avenged Sevenfold w/Falling In Reverse Sunday, Sept. 17. 6:30 p.m. $35 & up. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Cuban wedding crisis

By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, I don’t want to attend my brother’s wedding. He and his fiancé have become incredibly conservative and frequently say things that are anti-Black/homophobic/transphobic, and as a queer womxn, I don’t want to be around such hateful and judgy people. But I also come from a large Cuban family, and skipping an event like this will have immense repercussions. What should I do?

—Cuban Wedding Crisis

Cards: Five of Pentacles (reversed), Six of Pentacles (reversed), New Moon, Page of Swords

Dear CWC, weddings, in the days of yore, were political events. They were about two families (or two nations if you were Royal) aligning and the benefits that came from that union. Romance and scandal were saved for elopements. And while most of us aren’t making land deals now through marriage, weddings can still be pretty “political” regarding family politics. Even today, weddings are rarely just about the happy couple.

I am not going to tell you if you should attend the wedding or not. That is your call. However…I will say that judging by the cards, it would be politically advantageous for you to go.

I won’t sugarcoat it: you probably won’t have a good time. With the Five of Pentacles, you may feel isolated while there. But, with that same card, you may feel even more isolated and shut out from the family if you skip it.

Attending will put you in a great light. As the Six of Pentacles, it will look like you’re being generous and graceful—which is true. You would be. This, in turn, might help you with your large family if your brother is less than graceful with you. You’ll be the civil one, the “reasonable” one.

But, if you do decide to go—and you do not have to—you shouldn’t go in blind. The more work you can do to emotionally and mentally prepare for this, the better. The New Moon in my deck (Uusi’s ”Pagan Otherworlds”) can be a healing card, especially for deep wounds. If you have a therapist, work with them on strategies for what to do if your brother/his fiancé/anyone says something shitty to you. I’m sure there is also a deep sadness to see your brother become this hateful person.

But you are the Page of Swords, my dear. You have the intellect and the freedom to become who you are meant to be and a strong sense of self that can’t be swayed. That being said, the Page of Swords is dressed for war. He is going to battle in full armor. What sort of armor could you wear to this wedding? Is it an energetic

shield? A kickass outfit? A stack of rings that each mean something to you? How can you feel protected mentally, physically, and spiritually while attending? Really consider it. If you attend, you’ll be skirting enemy territory, and while I do hope there are members of your large family that will back you up, you want to feel prepared. Whatever you decide, you’re still that Page of Swords—surefooted, whip smart, and positively free.

Dear Oracle, I’m newly pregnant for the first time. While my husband and I are excited about having a baby, I’m also terrified. So many things can go wrong during pregnancy. What should I keep in mind during this journey? Expecting trouble?

The Star is a card about the inner world and the outer, and right now, you’re going through a life-changing event on both fronts. In the physical world, your body is changing, your house is changing (gotta stuff those diapers and that crib somewhere), and your social life is probably taking a hit.

moment. I think you and your husband are ready for this plunge.

ORACLE OF YBOR

In your inner world, your relationship with yourself may change. You are becoming a parent, a caretaker, which is a big responsibility that can certainly feel overwhelming. But I think you’re more prepared than you believe.

Send your questions for the Oracle to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram

Now, what can you do to help with all this anxiety? First off, be incredibly generous with yourself. The Six of Pentacles is about giving, and you need to give yourself a lot of grace. If you need to sleep 12 hours a night, do it. If you need to order groceries because it’s too much energy to go to work and the store, do it. Treat yourself kindly, and don’t beat yourself up if 20% is all you can give. (According to my sources, the first trimester is fucking brutal.)

Cards: The Star, Three of Wands, Six of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles

Dear Expecting, congratulations on your pregnancy! I sincerely hope the best for you, your husband, and your little one during this time. I also want to say that it is COMPLETELY normal to be feeling anxious right now. First, biologically speaking, your body is flooded with progesterone, which could make even the most zen mama anxious. Second, this is a huge change! It’s so common to feel all kinds of emotions.

The Three of Wands appears when we look back on where we came from as we move forward to the unknown. But it’s our past that prepared us for this

With the Ace of Pentacles, I also think it may help quell your anxiety if you learned more about how pregnancy works and how we, as a species, got to the year 2023 CE. Babies were born in caves during ice ages and plagues and lived. Nowadays, we got penicillin! And ultrasounds! And doctors and midwives who study this shit for years! We know way more about the human body now, so if there are any issues down the road, you can be treated and cared for. Also, check in with your doctor/midwife’s office and see if there’s a number you can call for questions. Having an expert call you back will give you more calm and certainty than Google.

I wish you the best of luck during this unprecedented time and I hope that anxiety eases for you.

Quickies

By Dan Savage

My partner wants me to give him a ruined orgasm. Where do I go to learn that? Ruined orgasms are pretty easy—they’re so simple, in fact, that people sometimes give them to (or inflict them on) their males partners by accident. Here’s how you do it: bring your partner to the point of orgasmic inevitability—get him to that point where there’s no stopping his orgasm; even if Marjorie Taylor Greene were to burst into the room, he’s going to come—and then cease all stimulation. Take your hand off his dick, take his dick out of your mouth, lift your pussy or ass off his dick— whatever you were doing to get him close, stop. He’ll come, but it won’t be anywhere near as pleasurable or intense as his usual orgasms, i.e., the orgasms he has when his cock is stimulated to and through the point of orgasm.

How can I be more fuckable? I put myself out there, but no one bites. I’m done being a 31-year-old gay virgin. I am a clean person, shower every day, wear clean clothes, and was voted “most likely to brighten up a day” in school. Maybe you’re doing something wrong—but I couldn’t tell you what that might be without meeting you, getting to know you, and making polite inquiries about your voting history. But I can tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes: I would hire a brutally honest “life coach,” a personal trainer, and a hooker, but in reverse order.

What’s your #1 tip for someone who has never been to a sex party before? It includes a wide range of ages, genders, orientations & proclivities, and many nervous newbies on the invite list. Bathe.

Can a person who has always had open sexual relationships become monogamous? Yes.

I never visualize having sex with my husband anymore. In my mind, it’s always someone else. Is that bad? No.

Why is anonymous sex—in places like bathhouses and gloryholes—so enticing to queer people like me? Lesbians aren’t exactly crowding into bathhouses or around glory holes— nor are asexuals, demisexuals, sapiosexuals, etc., etc., etc. So, I’m gonna assume you’re a gay man. Before I write another word: not all gay men find anonymous sex and/or public sex environments enticing. But the ones who do… they’re not doing it because they’re gay. They’re doing it because they’re men. I mean, if you told straight men there were places where walls had holes in them and women were kneeling on the other side of those walls waiting to suck them off, straight men would go to those places. There’s nothing gay men do

that straight men wouldn’t if straight men could but straight men can’t because women won’t. As for why women won’t… the answer is equal parts disinterest (on the part of most women) and an entirely reasonable fear of male sexual violence (on the part of all women).

What do you do when you’re bored with the sexual smorgasbord and just want a few quiet nights in? You spit the dick out and go home.

Quick etiquette question: Can I use my fucking machine in a hotel room? You’re allowed to fuck in hotel rooms. But fucking machines—at least the ones I’ve been in the same room with—are pretty fucking loud. They start loud, they stay loud. People fucking, on the other hand, typically only get loud toward the end of the fucking; once you can hear two people fucking in the room next to yours, you know it’s almost over. So, while I think we all have to put up with a little noisy fucking in the next room from time to time, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect the guests in the next room to put up with the noise of a fucking machine.

can satisfy you) and your guy isn’t insecure about how his dick works, you should get a strap-on dildo. They’re suddenly everywhere in gay porn… and we all know what that means. (It means straight people will be giving each other strap-on dildos as wedding presents by next summer.)

Top tips for being a good/smart third when playing with a couple? Be clear about your expectations—what you’re into, what you’re not, what you’re comfortable with, what you aren’ —and politely decline if they aren’t clear about their expectations.

Any queer-cuck related porn that you’d recommend? Jack Hornwood’s erotic novellas (jackhornwood.com) come highly recommended.

SAVAGE LOVE

I’m a young college professor in New York City and an active Grindr user. Is there a way to block an age range? In these morally panicked times, it’s probably better to err on the side of not fucking guys young enough to be your students—to say nothing of guys who are your students or who go to your university and might become your students. Unfortunately, there’s no way to block guys by age range on Grindr. So, you’ll have to block them as they come.

Would you consider a 67-year-old man who’s had NUMEROUS affairs while in what were supposed to be monogamous relationships and more than a few “friends” who turned out to be more than just friends to have a “propensity” for extra-marital relationships, secrets, and duplicity? Asking for a friend. Honoring a monogamous commitment is going to be a struggle for this guy—assuming he has any interest in honoring a monogamous commitment—and being with him will be torture for your “friend” whether he ever gets around to cheating on her or not.

I’ve always had to beg my partners to hurt me. Now I finally meet a guy who is legit sadistic, and I’m completely freaked out. He’s very sexy and everything is consensual, and he hasn’t violated any of my limits. But unlike my two previous boyfriends—very sweet guys—he doesn’t feel the least bit conflicted about hurting me. Send him my way.

I’m in love with my roommate. I think he likes me too. I just fear losing his friendship if I tell him. Any thoughts on how I should handle this? If you don’t open your mouth… your roommate can’t stick his dick in there. Just don’t open your mouth and say, “I’m in love with you,” as that will instantly dial the emotional stakes up to 11. Instead, tell your roommate you’re attracted to him and reassure him—before he can even respond—that you will get over the awkwardness (and him) if he doesn’t feel the same way about you.

How can I help a quick shooter have a slower draw? This D isn’t lasting long enough for me! Some medications seem to help premature ejaculators—excuse me: some medications seem to help persons experiencing premature ejaculation (PEPE). Additionally, some PEPEs can train themselves to last longer by jacking off a few hours before sex with a partner, strengthening their pelvic floors, and edging themselves endlessly. But if nothing helps—and sometimes nothing does—and delaying penetration until after you’re satisfied doesn’t work (because only a good, long, hard fuck

Why do people say “ethical non-monogamy” when they just mean “dating”? Because they mean different things. While some ENM people do date, some people in ENM relationships aren’t interested in dating (or allowed to date) outside sex partners; they don’t describe themselves as “dating” because 1. they aren’t dating and 2. they don’t want to (or shouldn’t want to) mislead potential outside sex partners. And while people who ultimately want a committed ENM relationship can and do date, lots of people who date—lots of people out there fucking around with multiple partners—ultimately want a committed monogamous relationship and identifying as ENM would be misleading.

I love sex but I don’t enjoy getting off or seeing cum. Is that weird? Yes.

If my bisexual husband is fucking men in the ass with a condom but not using a condom with me—his cis wife—am I at risk? You’re at a slightly higher risk for certain sexuallytransmitted infections—primarily HPV and HSV. But since your husband doesn’t look at you and see the reason why he can’t fuck other men, I’d say you’re at a slightly lower risk of divorce. (If your parents were so negligent that they didn’t get you vaccinated against HPV, go get vaccinated now.)

My husband and I have been together for 15 years now. He’s never been with anyone else and has recently opened up about wanting to explore outside. I do not have this desire. I love him and ultimately want him to be happy, but I also don’t want to make myself unhappy in the process! Can you recommend how to find a sex positive therapist for us to help us navigate through this new path? Check out AASECT.org.

I’m a pretty jacked college student and I get a lot of attention from gay dudes. And that would be great if I was gay but I’m not. Girls expect guys like me to make the first move, but I worry about coming across like an asshole or a harasser. I’m also very submissive but women take one look at me and expect me to be aggressive when what I really want is to be dominated and even punished. I don’t even know how to have that conversation with a girl. Any advice? Gay guys make great wingmen—so, the next time a gay dude hits on you, tell him you’re flattered but straight and blah blah blah. Then ask him if he knows any hot dominant girls. If he does, ask him to hook a jacked sub up. If he doesn’t, I promise he won’t rest until he finds a hot dominant girl he can introduce you to—particularly if she’s allowed to share all the details with him. Either way, your new gay best friend will be only too happy to have that conversation (at least the first one) for you.

Send your burning questions to mailbox@savage.love. Podcasts, columns and more at Savage. Love!

Oracle Database Administrator (Clearwater, FL) SCC Soft Computer seeks exp’d individual to troubleshoot problems; performance test; fine-tune; implmt; verify data integrity; monitor; dsgn physical & logical data storage; plan physical data placement; recognize distribution of data among d/base; allocate different physical devices for I/O balancing; write stored procedures & SQL scripts for creating tables & triggers for data integrity; ensure back-up; capacity planning; problem definition; verification of data integrity; & dsgn, dvlpmt, testing & implmtn of s/ware & s/ware tools. The work is performed in an ORACLE d/base environment under Linux & AIX. Reqs Bach’s deg in Comp Sci or Electronic Engg + 24 months of exp in the duties. E-mail resume to micahlenab@ softcomputer.com

Product Development Manager (Clearwater, FL)- SCC Soft Computer seeks exp’d individual to dsgn & construct complex projects; dvlp lab instrument interfaces; solve problems of the real-time data exchange between LIS, lab instruments & other vendor’s HIS mainframes; use specialized s/ware packages to ensure proper coding of s/ware modules of the LIS & HIS interfaces for medical laboratories; implmt function & interactive access to LIS d/bases in real-time, multi-access mode using advanced multi-windowing technology for man-machine communication; analyze charts & diagrams to assure compatibility & correctness of symbolic logic; solve questions of prgm intent, input/output reqmts & internal controls; assure that work flow charts & diagrams properly describe logical operations; & prep detailed system documentation. Reqs Bach’s deg in Comp Sci or Engg +24 months of exp either in the duties or 24 months of exp as an IT Project Manager. Email resume to micahlenab@softcomputer.com.

SKULL WHACKER by Merl Reagle

NOTE: In this themeless challenger, all question marks, which usually indicate the trickier clues, have been omitted. So there. ACROSS

1 “Can you believe it?”

13

3

9 King Kong actress

10 Addams Family cousin

11 He wrote The Phantom of the Opera

12 Antonym of anticipation

13 Eulogized

14 Dream, in French

15 Copycat

16 Glasgow cap

17 Who Roger Rabbit

18 Jogging along

19 Film composer Stevens

20 Jacob’s wife

28 Marx and Menninger

31 “Christmas comes but once ___”

32 Tiara insets

33 The Mennonites, e.g.

34 Galley needs

35 Many Palm Beach homes

37 Early cars

39 Author Hunter

40 Barney Miller star

43 Of bees

44 Big football st.

45 Fishing need

46 Perry’s creator

47 Author Kingsley

50 Mehitabel, for one

52 ___ arrangement (centerpiece)

54 Moving at an easy stride