Creative Loafing Tampa — November 30, 2023 by Chava Communications

NOV. 30-DEC. 6, 2023 (VOL.36, NO.48) • $FREE CREATIVE LOAFING - CLTAMPABAY.COM

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa

NICK CARDELLO

Editorial DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf MANAGING EDITOR Kyla Fields THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John W. Allman IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Gracey Davis, Chelsea Zukowski PHOTOGRAPHERS Nick Cardello, Dave Decker FALL INTERN Inquire by emailing rroa@cltampa.com Creative Services CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora GRAPHIC DESIGNER Joe Frontel ILLUSTRATORS Dan Perkins, Cory Robinson, Bob Whitmore Advertising SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda Events and Marketing MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS DIRECTOR Leigh Wilson MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Kristin Bowman SOCIAL MEDIA AND MARKETING MANAGER Corrie Miserendino

Who makes the best cocktail in Tampa Bay?

Circulation CIRCULATION MANAGER Ted Modesta

chavagroup.com cltampabay.com cldeals.com EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa Bay is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Events & Media, LLC, 633 N Franklin St., Suite 735. Tampa, Florida, 33602.

Highball is nigh, p. 27.

NEWS+VIEWS �� 15 FOOD & DRINK �� 23 A&E �� 37 MUSIC WEEK ��43 ORACLE OF YBOR �� 51 SAVAGE LOVE �� 53

GRAHAM TOLBERT

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He doesn’t know when Hiss Golden Messenger will be back this way again. An American folk hero is coming to Tampa , p. 49.

CROSSWORD �� 54

The physical edition is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampabay.com. Copyright 2023, Tampa Events and Media, LLC. The newspaper is produced and printed on Indigenous land belonging to Tampa Bay’s Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.

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/music New Brother Cephus video /news Banning reparations? /arts A pop-up Cuban art show /slideshows Unaffordable housing

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Black Friday Photos by Dave Decker

he day after Thanksgiving is traditionally reserved for laying around or maxing out credit cards, but a group of pro-Palestine supporters made sure Wesley Chapel was given a chance to keep talking about the ongoing conflict between the Israeli government and Hamas. The group of about 70 people, organized by Ali Abdel-Qader, of the Tampa Bay Branch of the Party for Socialism and Liberation, was on Grand Cypress Drive and moved into Tampa Premium Outlets. Abdel-Qader told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that his group was out, in part, to protest what he described as the “slow ethnic cleansing” of Palestine by the Israeli government. “What is happening right now did not start on October 7. It has been ongoing for 75 years,” he said, alluding to the 1948 “Nakba,” which the United Nations says, “refers to the mass displacement and dispossession of Palestinians during the 1948 Arab-Israeli war.” See more photo via cltampa.com/slideshows.—Ray Roa

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do this

Tampa Bay's best things to do from November 30 - December 06

Sea food

ANDREAS/ADOBE

December means cooler weather soon, but you can always drive a bit south and enjoy a sunny, seafood-filled day on the beach to remind yourself why you live here in the first place. This year’s rendition of the Siesta Beach Seafood & Music Festival spans three days and features dozens of fish mongers, a marketplace of local artisan vendors and lots of familyfriendly fun. Organizers say that all of the festival’s seafood offerings are fresh and cooked on-site, featuring “fresh, local and sustainable ocean resources from the Florida Gulf Coast.” Both alcoholic and N/A beverages will be available for purchase throughout the festival grounds. The event’s three-day live music lineup features local artists like popular blues guitarist Damon Fowler, Port Charlotte-based Gas House Gorillas and Florida Music Hall of Fame inductee Sean Chambers performing genres like rock, blues, reggae and Americana. Siesta Beach Seafood & Music Festival: Friday-Sunday, Dec. 1-3. Noon-9 p.m., 11 a.m.-9 p.m. & 11 a.m.-6 p.m. No cover. Siesta Beach Park, 948 Beach Rd., Siesta Key. @siestabeachseafoodandmusicfestival on Facebook—Kyla Fields

JAMES ZAMBON/JOBSITE THEATER

Nice Jobsite

For a quarter century now, Jobsite Theatre has been at the forefront of the Bay area theater, initially at Ybor City’s Silver Meteor Gallery and now at the fancy-schmancy David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Tampa. Forever focused on artists and uncompromising in every aspect of production—from costumes, to set design, lighting, scripts, actors, and music— Jobsite is also responsible for so many memorable musicals. The greatest hits from the 25-year run will be revisited at this anniversary celebration which includes a silent auction benefiting the nonprofit company. Jobsite Rocks! 25th Birthday Bash: Saturday, Dec. 2. 6 p.m. $25 & up. Music Hall at New World Brewery, 810 E Skagway Ave., Tampa. jobsitetheater.org—Ray Roa

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Now you see me

There aren’t many Tampa artists who can say they’ve left their mark on nearly every corner of the city. Joshua T. Pearson has. Over the last eight years, the 43-year-old’s creative agency Pep Rally Inc. has been on a rollercoaster ride designing and making real the aesthetics of clients that range from restaurant to sports teams like the Tampa Bay Lightning. The work is clean and leaves a lasting mark, but it isn’t exactly vulnerable, and that’s what Pearson is his new book, “Incidental Art,” which is a little bit memoir, part journal, and not just a must-read for local art lovers interested in learning about the process/story behind one of the city’s longest-running creative shops, but required reading for anyone hoping to make a living—and stay alive—in the creative-for-hire world. This book release and solo exhibition includes a performance from Tampa producer Justin Depth. Read more via cltampa.com/arts. Seen & Heard ‘Incidental Art’ book launch: Saturday, Dec. 2. 6 p.m.-10 p.m. No cover. The Rialto Theatre, 1617 N Franklin St., Tampa. @joshuatpearson on Instagram—Ray Roa

See more (and submit your event) @ cltampa.com Every December, Seminole Heights’ Independent hosts a free-to-attend party that celebrates drinking, untraditional holiday festivities and St. Nick’s “devilish companion”, best known as Krampus. Ancient European folklore says that the horned beast roams the streets looking for naughty children to scare about 20 days before Christmas day. The local watering hole honors him with an annual holiday gift market full of local makers, tarot readings by Diana Mystic of the Dark, harp music from Katara’s Seth Adam Lynn, hot mulled wine and lots of flowing beer. The vendor lineup for Krampusnacht currently includes Microgroove Records, Krystal Ralph Art and Hobo Renaissance alongside a few more that have yet to be announced. And if you happen to have any horns or hairy costumes laying around at home, feel free to dress up as the half-goat, half-demon and maybe you’ll get a beer on the house.

Know your onions

MANFRED HERRMANN/ADOBE

Bad Santa

If you think Tampa’s changed a lot in the last few years, you should see what it did in the 1920s. A new temporary exhibit at the Tampa Bay History Center explores that decade using more than 100 objects—including underwear worn by the mother of late Tampa Tribune journalist Leland Hawes—plus interactive elements. Music, dance, recreation, housing, prohibition, the Pentecostal religious movements and even Jim Crow are all covered. And as a bonus, the Touchton Map Library has a separate exhibit (“Sharps & Marks in Paradise: Selling Florida in the 1920s”), which uses maps to explore the Florida land boom that started in south Florida and made its way up through the Tampa Bay area. Whether you’re a newbie or native, both exhibitions will help you deepen your sense of place. ‘Decade of Change: Florida in the 1920s’ and ‘Sharps & Marks in Paradise: Selling Florida in the 1920s’: Both exhibits on display now through July 14. Tampa Bay History Center, 801 Water St., Tampa. tampabayhistorycenter.org—Ray Roa

RAY ROA

Krampusnacht 2023: Tuesday, Dec.5. 6 p.m.-9 p.m. No cover. The Independent Bar & Cafe, 5016 N Florida Ave., Tampa. Independentbartampa.com—Kyla Fields

Draw dead, Fred

When you grow up in movie theaters, film is bound to have a profound impact on your life. For Tampa artist Chris Preston, whose mom worked in a theater for his childhood and teenage years, movies sometimes manifest themselves in his output, and for this show, he’s literally going to bring that part of his past back from (or to?) the dead. The sequel to Preston’s “Dead Cinema” show in 2021 features all new works (he’s usually influenced by Dada, cubist and surrealist styles) featuring iconic movie scenes re-imagined in a macabre way. And if you miss this opening, you can still catch the show and hear Preston spin records under the DJ Cub moniker on Dec. 9.

C/O CHRIS PRESTON

‘Dead Cinema II’ Works by Chris Preston: Next Thursday, Dec. 7. 6 p.m. No cover. Independent Bar & Cafe, 5016 N Florida Ave., Tampa. artbychrispreston.com—Ray Roa

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Justice on deck

Lawmakers tee up $40 million for survivors of Florida’s Dozier school for boys. By Ray Roa

for Justice at the Dozier School for Boys,” a 2022 a book by University of South Florida forensic anthropologist Dr. Erin Kimmerle. Fudge is the president of The Official White House Boys Organization, which for the last decade has acted as a support group for boys who were sent to Dozier. “It’s kind of an outlet

Companion “Victims of Reform School Abuse” bills—SB 24 and HB 21, filed by State Sen. Daryl Rouson and Rep. Michelle Saltzman, respectively—are different from past failed legislative attempts to remedy the abuses at Dozier. If passed in both chambers and signed by the governor, the law would require victims

RAY ROA

ixty-two years after his release, Charlie Fudge still gets emotional talking about the abuse he endured inside “the white house” at Florida’s Dozier School for boys when he was just 12 years old. “I received a beating of 31 legs with a leather strap. That was just a beating unmerciful. I’ve lived with that, and still live with that today—how someone as big as these guys were, that was in charge, could take and beat a little child, a 12-year-old soul, with that kind of beating,” Fudge, 74, told WMNF Tampa 88.5-FM last Friday, fighting back tears. “It’s something that stays with you your whole life.” Boys, some as young as five years old, were sent to the school for crimes as minor and vague as truancy and incorrigibility. Their labor was used to work land gifted to Jackson County. By the 1960s, Dozier was the largest reform school in the U.S. The prisoners—segregated in the Jim Crow era—went to school one day and worked the next. Gene Oker, who did four years at Dozier between 1956-1960, told the radio station’s public affairs program “The Skinny” that they didn’t even have teachers. “We did our own work. We taught ourselves in school,” he said. Author Richard Huntly Sr. told WMNF that Black boys did have teachers who used the passages in the Book of Proverbs to remind them to obey their masters. “You know, whatever your master want you to do to you. If he slapped you on one side, you turn your face—we was taught that kind of stuff,” Huntly, who is President of Black Boys at Dozier Reform School, added. Oker once got 35 lashes in the white house and said that the pain of the first lash is indescribable. “It went all through your body, every inch of your body—that pain was unbelievable,” he added. That agony, the abuse, and the wounds acquired at the Marianna “reform school” were chronicled in Pulitzer-nominated 2009 reporting, turned into a Pulizter-winning novel 10 years later, and explored in even more detail on the pages of "We Carry Their Bones: The Search

MEN FOR OTHERS: (L-R) Charlie Fudge, Gene Oker and Roy Connelly are still fighting for the boys abused at the Dozier school to get out the things that we’ve dealt with our whole lives, to understand each other and love each other,” he said of the collective. And while the 1,400-acre school closed in 2011 after more than a century in operation, survivors of the Dozier school—of which Fudge estimates there are 200-300—could get some semblance of justice before the end of next year’s legislative session in the Florida Capitol.

of Florida reform school abuse—or specified descendants of the abused—to apply for certification by a certain date. The state would then be required to review and process the application within a certain timeframe and determine whether or not the applicant is eligible for crime victim compensation. Troy Rafferty, a lawyer whose firm crafted the initial draft of the legislation, told WMNF

“That pain was unbelievable.”

that records issues—for instance, at least 55 burials at Dozier have no recorded information in state-issued plot maps or other documents— means that the process won’t be easy. “It’s all being pieced back together,” Rafferty said about the history around Dozier. “It is a step, but it’s a step in the right direction.” Rep. Saltzman—a Republican who separately, and unrelatedly, recently said controversial statements about the Israel-Hamas conflict—revealed that she feels good about the legislation’s chances at passing since she’s part of the supermajority. The senate had, in past years, agreed on money needed for victims, Saltzman added, while the house had previously failed to land on a figure. “The difference this year in the bill is the house has actually allocated the 40 million [dollars] that’s needed to provide the funds to these people if they were to apply to get this money. So that’s a huge step in the right direction,” Saltzman said, adding that she also workshopped a way for survivors to get a GED through the department of education. She also tried to find ways to go after law enforcement who committed crimes at Dozier; statutes of limitations, she noted, might get in the way. “The speaker would really, really, really like to see us be able to go after some of these people if they’re still alive. He used the words, ‘I don’t care if they’re 80 years old and in a walker, if they’re alive, and we can prove it, they need to go to jail,’” she said. “We’re seeing what we can do. If that works, we’ll add that to the bill.” Fudge and Oker, flanked at the radio station by fellow Dozier survivor Roy Connelly all perked up after Saltzman’s remarks. Fudge said that the proposal “absolutely” sounded like justice. “It sounds terrific. It’s news to our ears that we haven’t heard before,” Fudge added. Huntly agreed. “It’s the first time I’ve heard anybody even sound remotely of kind to help us,” he said. We’ll see.

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Actor Tyler Lepley previews new Seminole Heights restaurant and lounge. By Kyla Fields

ANTHONY MACON

f you’re one of the thousands of drivers that trav- southern-Caribbean fusion cuisine, plus a dining eled on Florida Avenue last summer, chances room and outdoor space that seats over 100 patrons, are you noticed the exterior of the Social House Lepley tells CL that his debut business venture is restaurant change from gray to a sleek, dark equal parts restaurant, lounge and bar. He owns blue seemingly overnight. When Hollywood actor the concept with friend and business partner York, Tyler Lepley first posted a sneak peek of himself local DJ and event organizer DMC Vybz, and Raffy outside the old Social House back in July, he and Bautista, a Tampa-based club promoter. the rest of his team already had the keys to their York says that the Carribean backgrounds of the restaurant’s owners had influence on its new restaurant, lounge and bar. A few weeks after soft opening, Lepley’s fusion-forward menu. Lepley’s Executive Chef Kitchen & Lounge located at 6310 North Florida Leonardis Moss dishes out “Rasta Pasta” topped Ave. in Seminole Heights, hosts an invite-only with seared salmon, jerk-seasoned lamb chops, grand opening celebration on Friday, Dec.1. appetizers like short rib wontons and shrimp It kicks off with a ribbon cutting ceremony skewers, and sweet potato brownies and s’mores with Mayor Castor at 3 p.m. and continues churros for dessert. “What also inspired the menu was just travthroughout the night with plenty of drinks, Southern-Caribbean plates, and live DJs. The eling throughout the country and being able to new restaurant is 21-and-up at all times, includ- experience food from different cities,” Lepley ing weekend brunch. explains. “We wanted Although 36 yearto combine the comold Lepley—best known fort of Southern dishes for his roles on Tyler with the spice, flavor Perry’s “The Have and and techniques found in Have Nots” and Starz Caribbean cuisines.” Lepley’s Kitchen + Lounge Network’s “P-Valley”— Lepley’s recently 6310 N Florida Ave., Tampa @lepleystampa on Instagram was born and raised in launched brunch, hapPhiladelphia and curpening every weekend rently resides in L.A., his relationship with from 11 a.m.-4 p.m., featuring dishes like Oreo Tampa has been a few years in the making cheesecake pancakes, deviled eggs with blackthanks to his friend, manager and restaurant ened shrimp, waffle breakfast sandwiches and co-owner Jovi York. Lepley’s personal favorite—the $145 “Chicks “My long professional relationship with Jovi in Paris” entree—which consists of 12 pieces allowed me to visit Tampa multiple times and of fried chicken served with a chilled bottle of I started to cultivate my own relationship with Moët Chandon brut champagne. The dish is on the city,” Lepley tells Creative Loafing Tampa the dinner menu, too. Bay while sitting inside his newly-opened resAnother item Lepley’s offers is an infamous taurant, as a plate of lamb chops is placed in $40 wagyu cheeseburger topped with tempura front of him. “I remember reading an article a lobster and candied bacon. The dish made rounds few years ago where Tom Brady talked about in local Facebook groups filled with questions why he came here, and eventually started seeing about the pricetag, other aspects related to menu the same stuff that he was talking about—that pricing, Lepley’s 20% auto-gratuity policy and love and energy that Tampa harnesses.” how the new concept will fit into the unique fabOver the summer, Lepley was able to take a ric of Seminole Heights. Burger-gate even made hands-on approach in the opening of his restau- its way to Lepley’s neighbor, Ella’s Americana rant, including its ambiance, decor and menu Folk Art Cafe, which playfully offered a “$40 items, all while familiarizing himself with the and under Black Friday burger deal” of its own. greater Bay area. “Even though I’m not from Lepley's team thought the jokes were funny and here, it definitely feels like home,” he says. ultimately gave the new eatery local exposure. Complete with craft cocktails and choice But providing a range of price points for the bottles of champagne, a kitchen dishing out variety of clientele is vital, Lepley says.

OPENINGS & CLOSINGS

BALL SO HARD: Lepley’s Kitchen & Lounge has a $145 fried chicken and Moët combo. “We have a lot of locals come in here, too, so serving the people that live in the neighborhood is obviously important to us,” explains Lepley. “But it’s also important to give an option to folks that would like to spend for an elevated experience. It’s all about giving people options so that they can experience exactly what they want.” He also points out that customers looking for a more affordable wagyu option can order the trunk slider appetizer for $16. While some folks may argue that the new Seminole Heights concept offers lofty food prices and an ambiance better suited for Water Street or Midtown Tampa, York embraces that notion and says booming districts like those would make an ideal spot for Lepley’s second location. She tells CL that she and the rest of the owners initially looked at buildings in downtown Tampa and Ybor City to capitalize on the districts’ latenight, club-like atmospheres, but figured they could create that same vibe right in the heart of Seminole Heights. Starting sometime this month, Lepley’s will launch a daily event calendar, featuring specific

nights aimed at women and the more mature, “grown and sexy” crowd, happy hour specials, DJs and other forms of live entertainment. And as it enters the holiday season, the new restaurant also plans to team up with local nonprofits for toy drives and other charitable events. In the shadow of Tom Brady, and following the debut of Chicago-based actor Billy Dec’s third Sunda New Asian location in Tampa, Lepley wouldn’t be surprised to see more celebrities set up shop in the 813. “People are moving to Florida and I think celebrities are no different. If you just take a look at the lay of the land and potential great places to come do something special, Tampa should be at the top of your list, whether you wanna open a business or just move your family here,” he said. Lepley’s Kitchen & Lounge is now open from 4 p.m.-midnight Wednesday-Thursday, 4 p.m.-2 a.m. on Fridays and offers brunch from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday-Sundays, with nighttime service from 5 p.m.-2 a.m. and 5 p.m.-midnight, respectively. It is closed Monday-Tuesday. For the latest updates on Lepley’s Kitchen & Lounge, head to its Instagram at @lepleystampa.

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Beefed up

Pan-Asian steakhouse Fortu grand opens in St. Pete, plus more local food news. By Kyla Fields New African-Caribbean restaurant Da’ Shrine is now open in Seminole Heights Self-described as a “cultural immersion that transports you to the heart of Africa and the Caribbean,” Seminole Heights’ newest restaurant made its long-awaited debut a few weeks ago. Da’ Shrine is located at 5137 N Florida Ave., directly across from Spaddy’s Coffee Co. and adjacent to other concepts like Chocolate Pi, Independent Bar and Cafe and the newly-opened Champion Pizza. The Caribbean and African restaurant celebrated a grand opening on Nov. 9 and offers a variety of both traditional and fusion dishes, from whole red snapper with jollof rice and stewed oxtails to pounded yam and chicken stew, the popular Nigerian soup egusi, jerk chicken wings and spicy spaghetti. Da’ Shrine is also open for breakfast, with a daytime menu of red velvet pancakes, shrimp and grits and a steak skillet,

FOOD NEWS

alongside its full-service bar which boasts a variety of craft cocktails, beer and wine. The newly-opened restaurant’s indoor dining room and bar are also joined by its second-story patio that overlooks Florida Avenue. And if you’re looking for take-out options, to-go orders can be placed directly on dashrinerestaurant.com or by calling (773) 726-4671. “Nestled in the heart of Seminole Heights, this restaurant is a haven for food enthusiasts seeking an authentic taste of traditional Liberian, Nigerian, and other African delicacies,” Da’ Shrine writes on its website. “The menu at Da’ Shrine is a true culinary celebration, offering a wide array of dishes that showcase the complexity and depth of African and Caribbean flavors. For the latest information on Da’ Shrine, head to its Facebook or Instagram, both at @Da_Shrine_Tampa_FL. Fusion restaurant Da’ Shrine is now open from 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Monday-Wednesday and 7 a.m.midnight Thursday-Sunday.

Izakaya Tori opens its late-night ‘Tori Bar’ in downtown Tampa Last March, popular Tampa cocktail staple Fly Bar (442 W Kennedy Blvd.) closed its doors, but a new concept just opened in its former downtown location. Back in September, the owners of popular Japanese restaurant Izakaya Tori—which was recently listed as one of three Tampa Bay spots on Yelp’s “100 Best Places To Eat in 2023” roundup—took to social media to announce that its new late-night pub called Tori Bar will take over downtown’s old Fly Bar space. The bar and Japanese tapas spot soft opened last week and is already being praised for its Japanese whiskey, high balls, craft cocktails and menu items like grilled skewers, sashimi, sea urchin hand rolls, hokkaido scallop truffle carpaccio, lamb lollipops, crab rangoons and desserts like yuzu panna cotta. Tori Bar is now open from 4 p.m.-midnight Monday-Thursday (with the kitchen closing at continued on page 27

D2 CREATIVE STUDIO VIA FORTU

hot new restaurant just opened in one of The ‘Burg’s most historic buildings. Fortu is located at 95 Central Ave. within the historic Ponce De Leon Boutique Hotel which formerly housed popular Spanish restaurant Ceviche before it moved a few blocks away in 2021. Although ILovetheBurg says Fortu’s official grand opening doesn’t happen until Tuesday, Dec. 5., it seems like reservations for its dining room and patio are now available via Tock. Promising an “elevated PanAsian dining experience that celebrates Asia’s vibrant and diverse culture,” Fortu’s menu boasts a wide selection of steaks—including specialty cuts of wagyu—both cooked and raw seafood, and a variety of fusion-forward shareables and sides. Appetizers include edamame, blistered shishito peppers, wonton tacos (move over, Applebees) and milk bread with garlic miso butter, while its “signature dishes” are oxtail gyoza, truffled congee and a Fuji apple burrata salad. Since steaks are the star of Fortu’s menu, the newly-opened high end concept offers a variety of different cuts—from prime ribeyes, Australian ebony strip steaks and porterhouses to tenderloins, massive 40oz “cowboy cuts” and an A5 wagyu pairing, complete with dry-aged Miyazaki ribeye cap and miso koji aged-stone axe tenderloin (although there are no prices available online yet). The full menu is on forturestaurants.com, although it doesn’t list any cocktail, sake, beer or wine options. The opening of Fortu was announced back in 2022 and is right on time with its projected debut of fall 2023. Between its patio and main dining room, the pan-Asian restaurant can seat almost 200 patrons. The concept from Benson Hospital Group was originally announced last August. Fortu is the latest concept from Benson Hospitality Group led by Shan Bakrac, the same restaurant group that owns Black Cattle Burger Co. and Top Slice Pizzeria, both located in downtown St. Pete. Bakrac is the son of the former Ponce De Leon Hotel owner, Savni Bakrac, who sold the historic building for $4.5 million earlier this year, according to the St. Pete Catalyst. The publication also reports that its new owners plan to renovate the hotel, which has been a landmark in downtown St. Pete since the 1920s. For the latest news on Fortu and its highlyanticipated grand opening, head to its Instagram at @forturestaurant. Fortu is now open from 5 p.m.-10 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday and is closed Sundays and Mondays

RAISE THE STEAKS: Fortu offers a variety of steaks, including specialty cuts of wagyu.

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OPEN SECRET: Bern’s Steak House made OpenTable’s 'Top 100 Restaurants’ list this year. continued from page 25 11:30 p.m.), 4 p.m.-2 a.m. Friday and Saturday (with the kitchen closing at 12:30 a.m.), and is closed on Sundays. There are no reservations for this new Japanese bar just yet, only walk-ins on a first come, first served basis. For the latest news on downtown Tampa’s newest hotspot, head to its Instagram at @tori_bar_tampa. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s annual Highball cocktail event returns to downtown St. Pete next week Each year, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay aims to answer the loaded question of “who makes the best cocktail in Tampa Bay?” at its annual Highball party. This year’s Highball event and competition happens on Friday, Dec. 8 at St. Pete’s Nova 535, located at 535 Dr. M.L.K. Jr. St. N. Just a few of the local restaurants and bars that are participating in this year’s Highball competition include American Social, The Dunedin Smokehouse, Jotoro, Red Mesa Cantina, The Living Room, Blur Nightclub and The Hangar, alongside several other concepts. Several different types of alcohol will be featured in the competitor’s highball samples, from gin and vodka to whiskey and bourbon. Early bird general admission tickets run for $65 each and include unlimited cocktail samples from Highball competitors, photo ops

and the chance to vote for your favorite drink in each spirit category, as well as “Tampa Bay’s Best Highball.” Early admission tickets, which provide guests with an extra hour of sampling, cost $85. All ticketing options can be browsed on highballtampabay.com. In addition to unlimited highball samples, next month’s event will also feature live entertainment and access to small bites. Spirits brand Beam Suntory presents this year’s Highball competition, alongside various other sponsors like Haku Vodka, Sipsmith Gin and Hornitos. A portion of Highball proceeds will benefit Current Initiatives of Tampa Bay, a local nonprofit that organizes a variety of charitable programs like The Laundry Project, Hope for Homes and Affordable Christmas. For more information on Highball, head to highballtampabay.com or follow @cltampabay on Instagram.

“Just like everyone’s favorite rockstar coming out of retirement, the McRib returns once again for a limited time only, but not nationwide,” says a press release. “Head to a McDonald’s near you in Central and North Florida, South Georgia, or Southeast South Carolina while supplies last.” As of now, participating McDonald’s can be found in the following Central Florida counties: Brevard, Charlotte, Citrus, Desoto, Flagler, Hardee, Hernando, Highlands, Hillsborough, Lake, Manatee, Marion, Orange, Osceola, Pasco, Pinellas, Polk, Sarasota, Seminole, Sumter and Volusia. As always, the McRib is here for a limited time, which is probably a good thing considering they come packed with 520 calories of saucy goodness.— Colin Wolf

FOOD NEWS

The McRib is back in Tampa Bay The McRib, a big savory wad of ground-up pork shoulder and spices emulsified into a foodlike brick of preservatives and then carefully topped with pickles and onions, will make a limited return to Central Florida McDonald’s locations this week. A few weeks ago, McDonald’s announced that its fan favorite seasonal sandwich will come back on Thursday, Nov. 16, but in a very limited capacity.

Two Tampa eateries make OpenTable’s annual ‘Top 100 Restaurants’ list Each year, reservation company OpenTable releases a list of its 100 best restaurants in the country based on over “12 million verified diner reviews and dining metrics”—and two local restaurants have made 2023’s illustrious roundup. The Tampa Edition’s Mediterranean concept Lilac—one of three restaurants that won the city’s first Michelin stars earlier this year—and local institution Bern’s Steak House

are listed on OpenTable’s Top 100 Restaurants of 2023 list, which was released just a few days ago.This year, OpenTable organized its “best restaurants” by state, and not by ranking each concept from 1 to 100. South Tampa’s Bern’s Steak House (1208 S Howard Ave.) has been around since 1956 and boasts an old school menu of dry-aged steaks and sides, a unique dessert lounge and one of the largest wine collections in the world. Forbes magazine even deemed it one of “The World’s Best Steakhouses” earlier this year. Newly-opened Mediterranean-inspired concept Lilac—located on the ground floor of the Tampa Edition at 500 Channelside Dr.—contrasts Bern’s classic and traditional approach to fine dining. Its contemporary menu from Chef John Fraser and use of “Florida-focused ingredients and French techniques” earned one of the city’s first Michelin stars back in May, alongside other Tampa restaurants Rocca and Koya. Other Florida eateries like Latitudes Key West on Sunset Key, Palm Beach’s Buccan, Llama Restaurant in St. Augustine and Tallahassee’s Savour made OpenTable’s annual roundup, too. When creating its annual “best restaurants” list, the online restaurant-reservation service utilizes compiled data like “diner ratings, percentage of reservations made in advance and five-star reviews.” A Tampa Bay Chick-fil-A location is now offering free drone delivery The traffic is so bad in Tampa Bay that even chicken sandwiches are avoiding the roads at all costs. Last month, the E. Brandon/ Valrico Chick-fil-A restaurant (located at 1504 E. Brandon Blvd.) announced that it’s now offering free drone delivery. In a demonstration video posted to Facebook, the brief clip shows a Chick-fil-A order getting bagged up and handed off to a DroneUp pilot, who then puts the food in a white box and attaches it to a drone in a coned-off parking lot launch site. The food is then seen getting air dropped from the sky into some hungry guy’s yard. The service is free for a limited time, says the company, and is available Monday-Friday from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. A representative at the location told CL that orders have to be within a 1.2-mile radius, but the location is hoping to expand that to two miles soon. In terms of weight limits, the rep stated that if the drone can’t handle your massive chicken order, they’ll just bring it to you in a van.This is at least the second major brand to partner with DroneUp. Last year, the company announced it was also bringing drone delivery services to select Walmarts in the Tampa area. To order via drone, use the Chick-fil-A app, and select “Chick-fil-A Delivery.”—CW

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Empty plates

32 local restaurants that closed in 2023. By Gracey Davis

2nd & Second 2nd & Second quietly closed its doors this year, ending the late night restaurant’s five-year affair with St. Petian lovers of greasy spoon faves. Not to worry though, because 2nd & Second’s operators open ed a new concept at 201 2nd Ave. N—the Dirty Shirley bar and restaurant, featuring comforting American classics like pork chops, mac and cheese bites and chicken wings alongside an expected spread of beer, wine and craft cocktails. 7venth Sun’s Seminole Heights taproom Seminole Heights lost one of its craft beer mainstays last summer. 7venth Sun Brewery’s Tampa location at 56809 N Nebraska Ave. closed in June—but don’t fret, because its beloved beers aren’t going anywhere. “But fear not, because we’re about to embark on an exciting new adventure,” 7venth Sun wrote on Facebook. “This means we’ll be able to explore new and innovative beers while ensuring you have even better access to crowd favorites… We’re always ready to welcome you in Dunedin, where our signature saisons and funky fun beers will continue flowing.” The announcement ended with 7venth Sun again teasing “the next phase” of its business. 7venthsun.com

future. The space at 241 E Davis Blvd. is now home to Spartaco’s Kitchen. Black Radish St. Pete After only 16 months, Black Radish’s St. Pete’s location at 246 Dr. M.L.K. Jr St. N closed its doors. While not much is known about the reason for the closure, the vegan grocery stores flagship location in V.M. Ybor remains open and recently celebrated its third birthday. Boneyard Last July, after nearly three decades in the district, beloved Ybor City dive bar Boneyard announced its imminent closure at 823 E 7th Ave. The address is now home to the new Blind Tiger coffee shop. Caddy’s Gulfport and St. Pete Beach Last July, popular Tampa Bay hospitality brand Caddy’s closed two of its waterfront bars. Caddy’s opened its Gulfport bar and restaurant in 2019 and its location on St. Pete Beach in early 2020. With the closure of Caddy’s Gulfport and St. Pete Beach, its only remaining locations reside in: Treasure Island, Madeira Beach, Indian Shores, John’s Pass and Bradenton. caddys.com

BLACKRADISHGROCER/FACEBOOK

t’s hard to say goodbye, especially when you bid farewell to a beloved restaurant. This year found some of Tampa Bay favorite concepts falling victim to the rising cost of, well, everything, but also just moving on or starting new adventures. This isn’t a comprehensive list of local eateries that have shut their doors, but here are some of the more notable Tampa Bay bar and restaurant closures from this year.

CLOSINGS

Bay Cannon Beer Co. While Bay Cannon Beer Co. unofficially closed its doors back in December 2022, the official announcement was made last May. The closure at 2106 W Main St. in West Tampa followed a shooting outside the business that left a woman dead. While the business originally closed to repair, owner Matthew Juaire claimed that it is too dangerous for the business to remain open, but encouraged fans to keep up with their social media as this is not the end of Bay Cannon Beer Co. @baycannonbeercompany on Instagram Bayou Bodega Known for its unique fusion fare and delectable selection of natty wines, Bayou Bodega was named by Creative Loafing to 2021’s Tampa Bay’s 50 Best Restaurants. Now, the business is closing its Davis Island location, with plans to reopen sometime in the

Cask Social Cask closed at the beginning of March, a shock to customers and patrons alike. Owner Stephen Bishop announced the closure at 208 S Howard Ave. in South Tampa via a letter which told its former employees that the business had been sold to St. Pete karaoke bar La La, with plans to make La La Tampa. Former employees were left to quickly find new employment following the immediate closure. Chief’s Creole Cafe Owners Elihu and Carolyn Brayboy announced the closure of Chief’s Creole Cafe back in April. The Creole, southern style restaurant was opened in 2013 in honor of Elihu’s late mother Mary, and has been housed in its pink building on 22nd Street since it opened. Known for their active work in the St. Pete Black communities, Mr. and Mrs. B announced their new work on a “uniquely affordable housing project.” The space at 901 22nd St. S. got new life over the summer, however, when a new hospitality concept, The Catalyst on the Deuces, opened. Clearwater Brewing Company Clearwater Brewing Company, located at 1700 N Fort Harrison Ave. in the Old Clearwater Bay neighborhood, closed last August. “It is with great sadness that we announce that we

SON OF A BISCUIT: Black Radish's St. Pete location closed this year. are closing Clearwater Brewing Company effective immediately,” the brewery wrote on social media. “We thank all of our customers, staff, and the City of Clearwater for your patronage and support over the last few years.” Chubby’s Super Subs & Pizza After 40 years, South Tampa’s Chubby’s Super Subs & Pizza—located at 5023 Bayshore Blvd.— closed over the summer. “It is with a heavy heart that I announce the closing of Chubby’s Super Subs & Pizza. A staple of Ballast point for over 40 years, it will be sad to see it go. We invite you to stop by anytime in the next 8 days to share any stories you might have about Chubby’s— we would love to hear them,” Chubby’s wrote.

“We will miss all of our customers, best part of the job. Come say goodbye to Chubby’s and get your final Bomb on!” Crislip Cafe Citing recent staffing shortages and rising prices, St. Pete’s Crislip Cafe announced its closing in March. Owners Kevin and Jennifer Schultz said they will continue to use the space at 645 Central Ave. to expand their retail gift shop located next store called The Merchant. Datz and Dough in South Tampa Folks driving down S Macdill Avenue probably miss the tongue-in-cheek phrases on Datz’s sign, continued on page 32

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Dr. BBQ The doctor served its last customer on Dec. 29, 2022 according to its owners. St. Pete’s go-to pregame spot at 1101 1st Ave S near Tropicana Field quietly closed its doors in the first week of the new year, citing rising costs of running a business in the Sunshine City. Dr. BBQ will be remembered for its meaty menu of chicken wings, smoked classics, and more. Elmer’s Sports Cafe “South Tampa’s original sports cafe” announced its closure at the beginning of the year after almost 20 years. The business was known for its straightforward menu of bar food and beers. The only other Elmer’s Sports Cafe closed in Ybor City soon after. Fly Bar Fly Bar’s 2020 relocation found them located closer to the University of Tampa, following the original location’s closure in 2018. But in 2022, the longtime cocktail staple has closed its doors for good, with seemingly no explanation. Cocktail enthusiasts in search of a taste of what was Fly can look towards nearby Hotel Bar, also owned by Fly owner Leslie Shirah Culbreath. The former Fly space at 442 W Kennedy Blvd. is now a Japanesestyle pub called Tori Bar.

over SB1438, aka Ron DeSantis’ anti-drag, “protecting children” legislation. Ichicoro One of three restaurants to earn Tampa’s first Michelin Bib Gourmands last year, Ichicoro Ramen spent eight years changing the Seminole Heights dining scene, but in the spring told employees that it was closing. Ownership did not comment, but other concepts related to Ichicoro, including Korean fried chicken joint Ganchu, are still open. There’s now a Champions Pizza living at 5229 N Florida Ave. Main Course As seen on Netflix’s “Selling Tampa,” Main Course was known for its stacked soul food plates and signature mimosas. Owned by Chef Ashley “Ai” Suttle, the business at 205 S MacDill Ave. in South Tampa announced its closure early in 2023, citing recent market conditions, this is the third time the restaurant has closed. The chef, who has served NFL stars and rappers alike, teased a future for the business, with a rumor of a food truck to open in Riverview. Mermaid Tavern Tampa lost another divey bar this year following the closing of Mermaid Tavern in Seminole Heights. The tavern’s coowner Lux Devoid took to social media to share that the owner of the building was not only refusing to help fix issues with the ceilings, but was also increasing rent. A new concept, The Royal G Lounge, now occupies 6719 N Nebraska Ave.

DATZ GROUP

continued from page 31 after the South Tampa restaurant sold to new owners last July. Datz owners Roger and Suzanne Perry offloaded the parcel for $6.1 million dollars. The building’s new owners will revamp the former Datz space into another restaurant and replace the former bakery with a new retail concept. Datz still operates restaurants in St. Pete and Riverview. datztampa.com

CLOSINGS

Freya’s Diner The St. Petersburg favorite for vegan lunch and dinner announced its closure at 2462 Central Ave. last July. “We want to take this time to thank everyone for their support this last year and for weathering so many changes that came our way. Unfortunately, St. Pete is seeing its slowest season to date and has left us with no other option but to close our doors,” its Instagram reads. “We’ve spoken to so many others that are feeling the effects of today’s economy. We aren’t the first to close this season, and we definitely won’t be the last.” Hamburger Mary’s Clearwater Tampa Bay was once home to multiple Hamburger Mary’s locations, but its last one closed for good in March—but not before throwing one big drag queen party. Mary’s at 28910 U.S. Hwy-19 N was known for charity events, drag bingo and its sandwiches, salads, signature desserts, and of course, burgers. There are still three locations in Florida, including one in Orlando that’s suing the State of Florida

The Mill in St. Petersburg After almost a decade, The Mill announced plans to close in St. Pete, with hopes of finding a new location in the area. The decision comes after intrusive construction from its neighbors that left them feeling unsafe serving its customers. The Tampa Bay Business Journal, however, reported that the restaurant located at 200 Central Ave. No. 100, owed over $100,000 due to unresolved tax liabilities, in addition to being behind on its rent. The South Tampa location at 2500 W Azeele St. is still open. themillrestaurants.com Munch’s Restaurant & Sundries Munch’s closed at the end of 2022 after over 50 years in business. The business at 3920 6th St. S. in St. Petersburg was sold to a new owner, with naming rights and all operations included, so there’s hope for the iconic St. Pete diner. Park and Rec Following an ongoing conf lict between the business and residents of the condominium upstairs, Park and Rec officially closed in April. Known for its staples of giant beer pong and video game classic “Ms. Pac-man,” Park and Rec’s Tampa location at 290 S. Meridian St. was owned by Hunger

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CUTS LIKE A KNIFE: St. Pete’s Dr. BBQ served its last brisket at the very end of 2022. Thirst Group, which owns other Tampa Bay area ventures like The Avenue and Lost and Found. Pizzeria Gregario Owner of the one-manshow Pizzeria Gregario, Greg Seymour has sold his bright yellow waterside pizza storefront at 400 2nd St. N. in Safety Harbor, bringing an end to 10 years of artisan. Seymour plans to become a Florida snowbird, and potentially return to the

Tampa pizza scene sometime in November, with more details to be announced. Pop Goes the Waffle Tampa Bay lost another go-to breakfast spot this summer with the closure of Pop Goes the Waffle. Owner Sara Fludd started the business in 2017 as a food truck with the same name, and announced her debut storefront in 2021. The closure at 5004 continued on page 35

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THE QUEEN IS DEAD: The Pub built a royal following during 12 years at International Plaza. continued from page 32 Tangerine Ave. in Gulfport was a result of rising market prices, Fludd said, but all hope is not lost for waffle lovers, as Blossom the food truck will remain open. @popgoesthewaffle on Instagram Oyster Bar St. Pete A 200-block favorite will soon move to the Grand Central District, but closed its flagship location at 249 Central Ave. in August. The Oyster bar had been in downtown St. Pete for almost 25 years. The bustling seafood restaurant and bar is known for its $1 oyster happy hour special, bottomless brunches, and wide variety of craft cocktails. oysterbarstpete.com The Pub Tampa English restaurant The Pub closed last summer after 12 years at International Plaza. Besides citing the end of its lease, the folks behind The Pub didn’t provide any additional details about its somewhat-surprising closure. The English pub was known for its wide variety of spirits and hearty British eats like bangers and mash and Shepherd’s pie, in addition to its sports-watching parties, trivia and other events. But its “pour your own beer wall” was certainly the center of attention.

The Social House If you’re one of Tyler Lepley’s nearly 1 million Instagram followers, you may have noticed the actor teasing the opening of his new restaurant—which is now open right here in Tampa (read more on p. 23). Lepley’s Kitchen & Lounge operated out of Seminole Heights’ former Social House space at 6310 N Florida Ave., which quietly closed earlier this year. South Tampa’s Thailand Restaurant After 45 years in business at 5252 S Dale Mabry Hwy., South Tampa’s Thailand Restaurant closed last June. Last spring, owners Amnuay and Moo Thambundit announced on Facebook that they would be retiring soon, and switched to solely take-out orders in May. “As many of you know, we will be retiring soon. We have served you all for over 44 years and are greatly appreciative of your long-time patronage to us,” the Thambundits wrote on Facebook in April. The Thambundits were once fixtures at Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s Best of the Bay, where their daughter, C Thambundit, used to help run the sampling. “The best memories I have are from trading food with other restaurants at the end of the night!,” she told CL.

CLOSINGS

Sea Hags Bar & Grill Sea Hags was known for its menu of fresh seafood, live music and “Old Florida Charm.” A manager told WVTV that its former building will be redeveloped into a new concept, but neither he nor the owners were sure about what would replace the beloved St. Pete Beach outpost at 9555 Blind Pass Rd. In 2021, St. Pete Catalyst reported that Ping Pong Partners, founders of the Cordova Inn, purchased Sea Hags for $5.2 million dollars with plans for a “condo resort development.”

Zoie’s Last summer owner and operator Jeff Baker disclosed that a recent cancer diagnosis led him to close the restaurant he spent endless months building out at 2245 Central Ave. “This unexpected turn of events has led me to reassess what’s most important in life, and prompted me to make the difficult decision to close our beloved Zoie’s for the sake of my health and well being,” Baker wrote on Facebook. “It’s been an honor and pleasure to provide you with a place to gather, enjoy good food and create lasting memories. Our loyal guests, you have turned this restaurant from a dream into a reality.”

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WE WILL SHOCK YOU: You’ve never seen so many people at Tropicana Field.

Enchant Christmas among Bay area’s best places to see holiday lights. By Chelsea Zukowski

nchant Christmas is back in St. Petersburg for its fourth year, filling Tropicana Field with over a million lights, ice skating and a holiday shopping village. The immersive Christmas light maze runs daily through Dec. 31. This year’s theme is “Reindeer Games,” which features a scavenger hunt through the light maze to find missing magic bells from Santa’s sleigh. The bells were taken by a group of mischievous forest animals, who want the chance to fly Santa’s sleigh instead of their reindeer friends. The maze features the return of massive reindeer light displays, which were part of 2019’s “The Great Search,” as well as the 100-foot “Everwhite” Christmas tree centerpiece.

There’s also the 450,000-square-foot blackout curtain that turns the inside of Tropicana Field into a winter wonderland with a twinkling North Pole sky. New this year is an installation of RGB lights that showcase patterns and figures moving from one side of the field to the other. There are also plenty of new and interactive light sculptures and a starry night chandelier effect over the maze, which offers no bad views all around Tropicana Field. Enchant’s now annual holiday event has proven to be a boon for Tropicana Field and a destination experience for the city of St. Petersburg. Last year, Mayor Ken Welch declared opening day, Nov. 25, 2022, “Bright Friday” to recognize the event’s celebration of the holiday season and local businesses.

ENCHANT CHRISTMAS

Economics and logistics aside, as a local, it’s adult), which includes express entry, access to great to see Tropicana Field utilized during the the VIP lounge, a beverage and a souvenir gift. Rays’ off-season. During Enchant, the 33-year- It’s highly recommended that you purchase old stadium is the prettiest it’s ever been. And a parking pass ($15 and up) with your ticket with a shiny new ballpark in the works, we hope ahead of time. there will still be space for the “World’s Largest Check out a Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Christmas Light Maze” and its signature light rundown of more places to see Christmas lights bulb cocktails. in Tampa Bay below. Tickets for Enchant Christmas, which is at 12 Days of Christmas Tropicana Field in St. Pete Clearwater Beach kicks Enchant Christmas through Dec. 31, start at off a multitude of events Through Dec. 31. $25 & up. Tropicana Field. $34 for adults with sevincluding the Making Spirits 1 Tropicana Dr., St. Petersburg. enchantchristmas.com eral add-ons and upgrades Bright boat parade (Dec. 12), available. Holiday Movies in the Park To manage crowd flow, you pick a time slot (Dec. 16), and more. Through Dec. 16. Clearwater when you buy tickets. Enchant will open as Beach. 12daysofchristmasclearwater.com early as noon on select weekend days, and during the week will open at 5:30 p.m. There are Boca Ciega Yacht Club Christmas boat also night owl tickets available that allow entry parade as late as 9:30 p.m. BCYC’s 38th annual Christmas Boat Add-ons and upgrades include ice skating Parade starts at Gulfport Municipal Marina ($15), a buffet dinner ($55) and VIP ($25 per continued on page 37

HOLIDAYS

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continued from page 40 and continues throughout Gulfport. Skippers are be required to donate two unwrapped toys to Operation Santa, Gulfport’s annual toy drive in order to participate. Saturday, Dec. 9. 6 p.m. Boca Ciega Yacht Club, 4600 Tifton Dr. S., Gulfport. sailbcyc.org Celebration of Lights at The Concourse This event is only on select dates through December. Featuring a walk-through Christmas light display and a chance to meet Santa in the North Pole, Celebration of Lights is also hosting a $3 train ride running from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Through Dec. 30. 11919 Alric Pottberg Rd., Shady Hills. celebrationoflightsfl.org Christmas in the Wild at ZooTampa ZooTampa once again hosts “Christmas in the Wild” on select dates, so be sure to check the website to see the calendar. Guests can expect holiday light shows, a Christmas improv show, carolers, illuminated animal sculptures and more. 1101 W Sligh Ave., Tampa. Through Dec. 30. zootampa.org

Holiday lighted boat parade at Tampa Riverwalk Beginning at the southern tip of Davis Islands, traveling through the Convention Center basin and the Heights, and turning around at Sparkman Wharf, this parade features registered boaters competing for first, second and third place trophies for their holiday-themed vessels. Plus, there’s an after party at American Social. Dec. 23. Downtown Tampa. 6 p.m. thetampariverwalk.com

Old fashioned Christmas and holiday parade Downtown Dunedin’s parade features decorated floats, bands, performers, and Santa himself! After the parade, Dunedin goes back in time, and activates snow, activities, entertainment, and even horse-drawn carriages. There will be mini train rides, Christmas caroling, games, crafts, an opportunity to roast marshmallows and make your own smores, and more. Saturday, Dec. 9. 4 p.m.-9 p.m. Douglas Avenue and Main Street, Dunedin. dunedingov.com

HOLIDAYS

Indian Trails hot cocoa and holiday lights fundraiser Best of the Bay-winning Local ABC Action News weatherman, Denis Phillips, alongside his wife Robyn and their six children, ranging from ages 7-28, sell popcorn and hot chocolate to raise money for charity. Phillips and his neighbors decorate the neighborhood with fes-

Pirate Water Taxi River of Lights The Pirate Taxi cruises around providing views of holiday decorations along the water in downtown Tampa. For this year’s “River of Lights,” guests can expect plenty of holiday displays, storytelling, sing-a-longs, beer and wine for purchase, a snow finale, and pf

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Christmas Town at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay BG’s annual celebration is back with expansive holiday light shows, fireworks, train rides, up-close animal encounters, seasonal food options and a chance to meet Santa, as well as a photoop with Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer. Entry is included with park admission. Through Jan. 7. 10165 McKinley Dr., Tampa. buschgardens.com Festival of Lights and Santa’s Village at Hillsborough County Fairgrounds This annual family favorite event features a nearly two-mile long drive through holiday lights, followed by Santa’s village at the end, including rides, an inflatable snow tube, festive lights and holiday treats, as well as live music on select nights. Cost is $20 per car for just the drive-thru, and $25 per car when the village is open. Through Dec. 31. 215 Sydney Washer Rd., Dover. hillsboroughcountyfair.com Holiday lights & carnival rides in Largo Central Park Admission to the 70-acre park, featuring over two million twinkly lights, is free, but the ferris wheel and carousel aren't. Rides are $6 a piece, or $50 for 10 rides. Food and drinks will be available for purchase, as well. Through Dec. 31. 101 Central Park Dr., Largo. playlargo.com

tive lights and decorations for the holidays. Dec. 11 and Dec. 18, 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Indian Trails, Palm Harbor. @DenisPhillipsWx on X (R.I.P. Twitter)

Holiday lights in The Gardens Florida Botanical Gardens is now on its 22nd annual holiday lights event, featuring one million lights. Suggested donation for admission is $10, and free for children 13 and under. Through Jan. 7. 12520 Ulmerton Rd., Largo. flbgfoundation.org

Oakdale Christmas light display This free event features a half-acre light display, a 70-foot-tall tree, 18-train railroad, plus 16 carnival rides. Check out the talking and dancing life-sized snowman, and the tightrope balancing bear. Through Jan. 3. 2719 Oakdale St. S, St. Petersburg. christmasdisplay.org

LET IT SNOW: But don’t let your kids eat it.

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cookies and hot chocolate. Tickets start at $25 for kids and $35 for adults, and children will receive a holiday gift during the ride. Through Dec. 24. 333 S Franklin St., Tampa. piratewatertaxi.com Redington Beach and Indian Shores holiday lighted boat parade Leave the snowshoes and home, and put on some sandals instead. Redington Beach and Indian Shores team up for this year’s Holiday Lighted Boat Parade. Boats assemble north

of the Madeira Beach Bridge and weave all the way past Indian Shores before a nighttime awards presentation and party at Caddy’s (20025 Gulf Blvd.) where participants get a free drink. Just don't drink and drive a boat, OK? Sunday, Dec. 10. 5:45 p.m. Redington Beach. townofredingtonbeach.com Symphony in Lights Featuring a light show that dances along to Christmas tunes, Symphony in Lights yet again hosts this popular festive family-friendly holiday event with food and drink as well as Christmas trees and snowfall. The event runs from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Through Dec. 31. Wiregrass Mall, 28211 Paseo Dr., Wesley Chapel. theshopsatwiregrass.com Tarpon Springs Christmas parade From 10 a.m.-noon, Tarpon Springs is hosting a Christmas parade that will travel throughout downtown, featuring crafts, hot chocolate, and a visit from Santa around 11:30 a.m. This year’s route travels north on Pinellas Ave. (from Ace Hardware) at Morgan Street., then east on Lemon, north on Ring, then west on Tarpon Avenue to the Bayou. Saturday, Dec. 9. 10 a.m.-noon. Downtown Tarpon Springs. spongedocks.net Winter Wonder Wharf Downtown Tampa’s Sparkman Wharf hosts holiday events and entertainment, as well as tree lighting, live entertainment and a visit from Santa Claus. There will be plenty of decorations and backdrops for photo opportunities. Saturday events starting at 6:30 p.m. include remix singalongs (Dec. 3), an improv comedy show (Dec. 10) and caroling (Dec. 17). Saturdays in December. Sparkman Wharf, 615 Channelside Dr., Tampa. sparkmanwharf.com Winter Village at Curtis Hixon Park Featuring an elevated 360-Degree Light Show, ice skating, curling and a massive popup market, Winter Village has just about everything. Entry to the area is free, but ice skating will cost $17 per ice skater for all ages. The Winter Village Express, a tram ride featuring sing along songs and trivia will cost $10 for persons two years and older. Through Jan. 1. 600 N Ashley Dr., Tampa. wintervillagetampa.com The Wonderland of Lights & America’s Christmas Village You’ll take a long drive to get to this drive-thru event featuring thousands of holiday lights, as well as food, family activities, and an opportunity to see Santa. Tickets cost $25, and there’s also an “Enchanted Elf ” 3D glasses option for $5 more. Through Dec. 30. 1052 US-92, Auburndale. thewonderlandoflights.com

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THU 30

Johnny Cash: The Official Concert Experience In almost 50 years of performing, Cash only had one female play lead guitar for him. Debbie Horton, the president of Cash’s fanclub in Virginia, was inspired by the Man In Black to learn guitar, and sure enough, when he played a gig in Baltimore, Cash pulled Horton—who he already knew of—out of the crowd and gave her a shot at playing “Big River.” Videos of Cash and his isolated vocals will be accompanied by Horton and a full band, and in between each song, video commentary from his and June Carter’s son John Carter Cash will occur. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)

FRI 01

C Highway Advisory Radio w/Chew/ Movie Props It’s been less than a month since Laith Abdel released an album with a rock band (Mindwash was at Crowbar on Nov. 11), and the Tampa expat does it again with Highway Advisory Radio, a group that travels between prog and stoner rock, plus R&B, on a debut LP, Heavy Traffic, out Friday. The album is preceded by two singles, “Alone” and “Movement,” where Abdel, along with John Ostberg on drums (Dove/ House of Lightning), bassist Andy Wajek (Unkempt), guitarists Joshua Paul (Nude Tayne/Six Volt Rodeo) plus Gordon Sloan (Dagger/Grandeur and the Delusions) bring

a variety of musical influence to a set of rock and roll sermons that should draw more people into the Highway Advisory Radio cult. (Union Hall, Lakeland) Rise Up Concert Series: Lauv w/Chelsea Cutler/Dwllrs It seems like only yesterday when San Francisco-born pop singer-songwriter Ari Staprans Leff was opening for Ed Sheeran and Snow Patrol at Tampa’s Raymond James Stadium, only slightly turning heads with his set closer—and main hit single—“I Like Me Better.” Five years later, the 29-year-old just better known as Lauv recorded a song for Pixar’s “Elemental,” and will be playing Lollapalooza India this January with Sting and Halsey, while sandwiching his first headlining gig in Tampa in between the two rites of passage for a musician. (St. Pete Pier, St. Petersburg) C Princess Chelsea w/Kitty In September, Rolling Stone Australia highlighted “The Cigarette Duet,” a viral single from Princess Chelsea that earned millions of streams. “It’s not right that only people who have had a big viral hit should be able to sustain a living through music. Like that’s not acceptable,” she told the publication. The dream-pop songwriter is using some of that streaming dough to go overseas and has traveled 8,000 miles to share a 2022 album, Everything Is Going To Be Alright, with Tampa Bay fans who should definitely get to the gig early and catch an opening set from U.S. rapper Kitty. (Crowbar, Ybor City) Whitey Morgan and the 78s The Outlaw country singer—who sold his Martin acoustic guitar in a drawing for $25 with no rhyme or reason last month—brings his Waylon Jennings-esque vocals for what appears to

be his Tampa debut. The Michigan-based artist’s songbook includes booze and beyond, along with a few country non-standards, and even a version of Bruce Springsteen’s “I’m On Fire.” (Orpheum, Tampa)

SAT 02

C Colleen Orender On her 2022 Tiny Desk entry “The Mouth You Feed,” Nashville songwriter Orender belts out a vocal that eerily marries Amy Winehouse and Adele. The Tampa expat comes home for this postThanksgiving evening with where Hooch will be buzzing with old friends and new fans alike. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa) C Rise Up Concert Series: Oliver Tree The amount of instrumentation contributed by Oliver Tree on his latest album Alone In A Crowd is pretty unreal. The 30-year-old (who I promise you is not Edna Mode in disguise) plays bass and synths on just about every track, and though he mostly left percussion to Chicago-based DJ Whethan, Tree made listeners feel like they were about to indulge in something slow and sentimental for a moment, just before shifting into something you would hear on the main stage at 97X Next Big Thing, or in some cases, at the club on a Friday night. (St. Pete Pier, St. Petersburg) Scene Queen A murderous hang between Barbie and Ken, a brutal takedown of artists that have been #MeToo’d, and comparing herself to Pink Panther in a way that eventually led to coming out as bisexual. These are some of the topics that up-and-coming,

continued on page 44

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continued from page 43 C The Brubeck Brothers Quartet Dave Brubeck’s sons Chris, a trombonist, and Dan, a drummer, have been giving a nod to their dad’s work for decades, and will wrap up their year in Largo alongside two artists highly praised by Dave—pianist Chuck Lamb and guitarist Mike DeMicco. (Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo)

DAVE DECKER

Scattered Hamlet w/The Wise Appalachian “alpha rockers” Scattered Hamlet brings its unique brand of Southern rock alongside Port Richey’s The Wise Guyz. Hamlet songs like “White Trash” and “Low Class Blues” are just a glimpse of its punk, rock and sometimes doom metal-inspired discography. We just hope the band’s love of American symbolism doesn’t cross over into sketchy territory. Scattered Hamlet has relentlessly toured across the U.S. over the past few years, playing shows in over 40 states, and we’re just grateful Florida is one of them. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa) Willis w/Edgehill The beachy, indie outfit just released a mellow new single (“More Than Happy”), and back in July, the Nashville-based band confirmed that it’s working on its sophomore album already. Whether we get some unreleased material during Willis’ debut Tampa show. Vanderbilt-based indie rock group Edgehill opens up shop. (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa )

TUE 05

The Black Keys

self-described “Bimbocore” singer-songwriter Hannah Collins (aka Scene Queen) has kicked a surely illustrious career off with. The 26-year-old New Yorker is on the heels of her newly announced debut album Hot Singles in Your Area, and its first single “MILF.” (Orpheum, Tampa) C Tropical Meatswave III: A Continuing Tribute To Owen Meats w/The Holy Terror/Choking on the Revelry/Alison Fangs/David Kibby/ more The slow march of time can be painful especially when you’re moving through life without one of your best friends. Pals of Owen Meats, who died in 2022, continue to honor the Tampa producer’s memory and musicality with an this annual afternoon tribute show in the Shuffle backyard featuring Meats’ collaborators, bandmates and admirers. (Shuffle, Tampa) C Emo Night Tampa: The Wayfarin’ Leo Roger w/Maily Rock The cultural impact of Emo Night Tampa is evident on the menu board of Seminole Heights burger spot Nebraska Mini-Mart, which has whipped up vegan specials for a special edition of the party meant to take advantage of this great weather. Banjo-pluckin’ folk singer Wayfarin’ Leo Roger brings his sunny words of wisdom

to the no-cover outdoor gig along with Maily Rock, which plays a bouncy brand of indiepop. (Nebraska Mini Mart, Tampa) C WMNF 88.5-FM’s 8th Annual Ukulele Festival: Ari Chi w/The Chris Tracy Duo/ Jct 27/Tom Hood and the Tropical Sons/ more Whether it’s a darkwave dance party or a classic-rock tribute show, WMNF stays busy, and this festival in its eighth year has become a staple for the community radio station. Every kind of ukulele will be in action—bass, electric, banjo and acoustic—and in the hands of homegrown talent that plays the little instrument better than the rest of the scene. Attendees are encouraged to bring their own ukes and take part in the all-ukulele strum-along to Jimmy Buffett and Jimi Hendrix of the ukulele contest. Kids under 12 get in free. (Cage Brewing, St. Petersburg)

SUN 03

C 97X Next Big Thing: The Black Keys w/Bleachers/Lovejoy/MisterWives/ Little Image This year’s installment of the alt-rock music festival is stripped down to a one-day affair and will take place at Coachman Park’s new live music venue.

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Downtown Clearwater’s beloved waterfront park has not been home to NBT since its single day, 2005 iteration, which brought in the likes of 30 Seconds To Mars and a pre-Black Parade My Chemical Romance. The Black Keys and Bleachers—both NBT veterans—are 2023's headliners. Joining in the fun are British indie-rock outfit Lovejoy, New York indie-pop quintet MisterWives— last seen in Tampa opening for Twenty One Pilots in 2019—and Little Image, a trio that describes itself as a “group of perpetually online suburban teens who were obsessed with underground indie rock.” (The Sound, Clearwater) C Ann Wilson of Heart & Tripsitter It’s been a hellscape of a year, but the rock world was recently graced with the news that Heart is getting back together for a handful of New Year’s gigs on the west coast. But first, Ann Wilson—the mighty voice behind “Magic Man” and more— is wrapping up a series of gigs with her own backing band, Tripsetter that promotes not only her Rock and Roll Hall of Fame-inducted career, but also Another Door, Wilson’s first-ever entirely original solo album. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)

C The HIRS Collective w/Thorn/Scissor Blade Philly-based Get Better Records has proved itself as one of the most queer-forward, mutual aid-supporting and generally badass independent labels in the country, and one of its many hardcore and alternative artists is making its way down south. The HIRS Collective will bring queer-core anthems like “We’re Still Here” and “It’s Ok to be Sick” plus other songs that explore themes of survival, perseverance and politics. Jenna Pup, frontwoman of the loud and fast band, helps run Get Better alongside other Northeastern artists. According to the band's biography, HIRS Collective exists to “fight for, defend, and celebrate the survival of trans, queer, POC, Black, women and any other folks who constantly face violence, marginalization and oppression.” Sounds like a much needed mission, especially in the state of Florida where guns have more rights than a uterus or a banned book. Local heavy hitters and fellow screamers, Thorn and Scissor Blade open. (Crowbar, Ybor City) US 103.5-FM Jingle Y’all: Jake Owen w/Chris Janson/Elle King/Corey Kent/ Kassi Ashton/Neon Union If last week’s iHeartRadio Jingle Ball with Niall Horan and Teddy Swims wasn’t your thing, a more twangy Christmas-themed megashow is happening 15 minutes away. Just about everyone on the lineup has released new music this year and helped dominate the pop-country charts in the last decade. A portion of profits from the gig will go to St. Jude’s Children Research Hospital. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa)

continued on page 47

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Dvsn C/O NO CLUBS

Wild Party w/Landon Conrath/Marielle Kraft Believe it or not, Landon Conrath kept his voice hidden behind a drum kit for years, until he tried a new song in front of a friend at a pool party. Not long after, the now-24-yearold started releasing indie-pop on Spotify. His debut album Nothing Matters Anyway, features “Trader Joe’s,” a “melancholic melody about those moments where it feels like everything is taking a turn for the worse.” Conrath opens for San Antonio-based powerpop outfit Wild Party at what appears to be its first gig in Tampa Bay. (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa)

WED 06

C Dvsn OVO Sounds signees Daniel Daley and Nineteen85 (aka Dvsn) have decided to let fan requests dictate the setlists for this run of end-of-year gigs. Dvsn hasn’t been in town since 2016, so at least the boys will have a bunch of new stuff to choose from. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

THU 07

C Hexis w/Midwest Lust/All You Need Is Kill/Star of Kholara/more Only one other artist in town this week (Princess Chelsea) has traveled further than Hexis to be in Tampa Bay. While the Danish hardcore outfit has played everywhere from its home country’s Faroe Islands to New Zealand,

Cuba and even Mongolia, this is a rare Florida show for the sludgey, doom-driven outfit. Chicago-based powerviolence and punk hybrid Midwest Lust opens the show alongside locals like Minoch, which is a new band featuring members of Flying Snakes, Weltesser, Rotting Palms. (VFW Post 39, St. Petersburg) C Palm Ghosts w/Layne Lyre/Offerings Nashville dream-pop act Palm Ghosts has a new, endearing album I Love You, Burn In Hell, to share. The alternative three-piece describes itself as “the sound of an 80s prom in a war zone,” taking inspiration from early new wave bands like The Cure, Echo and the Bunnymen and The Psychedelic Furs. Tampa experimental industrial rocker Layne Lyre and Brianna Bullock’s indie-rock project Offerings open. (Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa) Subtronics w/Ivory/VKTM B2B Sanzu Dubstep ain’t dead, and the exponential success of Subtronics proves it. The Philly DJ and producer born Jesse Kardon arrives with massively-popular EDM singles “Puzzle Box,” 2019 collab “Griztronics” and “Gassed Up” in tow. And when we say “massively popular,” we’re talking over 10 million streams-onSpotify popular. Kardon shares the stage with fellow electronic artists Ivory as part of this kickoff for a three-night stand at The Ritz. In early 2024, Kardon will embark on his nationwide “Tesseract ‘’ tour, which shares the same name as his forthcoming second fulllength. (The Ritz, Ybor City)

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Jump for joy, Tampa Bay, M.C. Taylor is coming to town. On Monday, the North Carolina songwriter and leader of Hiss Golden Messenger announced another round of tour dates, including one in Ybor City this spring.

GRAHAM TOLBERT

Tickets to see Hiss play Crowbar in Tampa on Monday, Feb. 26 are available now via fan presale and start at $27.88. Los Angeles rock band Color Green opens all shows on the February run, which includes four other Florida stops— Tallahassee, Orlando, Jacksonville and Miami —ahead of Hiss Golden Messenger’s stint on the Camayo Cruise. Taylor is on the road supporting Hiss Golden Messenger’s 15th studio album. Jump For Joy finds the poignant-yetsometimes-cynical songwriter channeling unabashed optimism into a somewhat autobiographical album about the life of a musician named Michael Crow. In his newsletter announcing the show, Taylor—who played Tampa in 2017 opening for Mumford & Sons, plus 2015 at Gasparilla Music Festival—wrote the he doesn’t know when Hiss Golden Messenger will be back this way again. See Josh Bradley’s weekly new concert rundown below.—Ray Roa

Barely Pink w/Ricky Wilcox and the Moonsnakes/Billy Summer Friday, Dec. 8. 8 p.m. $10. Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg Thomas Rhett Friday, Dec. 8. 8 p.m. $349 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa The Chainsmokers Sunday, Dec. 10. 11 a.m. $75. Hard Rock Event Center Pool at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa There’s Good In Ybor: Shevonne w/ Perception/Tha Banned/SydLive/Psych Montano/Kay Three/more Monday, Dec. 11. 7 p.m. $10. Crowbar, Ybor City Philip Charos Quintet Thursday, Dec. 14. 7 p.m. $15. Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg Jinglerock: The Forum w/Mak/Quail Hollow/Peace Cult/Homemade Haircuts Friday, Dec. 15. 7 p.m. $10. Crowbar, Ybor City Damon Fowler & Friends w/Eddie Wright/Joe Interrante/Berry Duane Oakley/TC Carr/Rob Stoney/Chuck Riley Saturday, Dec. 16. 8 p.m. $15. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa

Last Things, Years End: Adam Randall w/ Liam Bauman/Emilio Gonzalez Saturday, Dec. 30. 7 p.m. $10. Crowbar, Ybor City Jimkata Sunday, Dec. 31. 9 p.m. and 10:45 p.m. No cover, $50 for VIP. Moon Tower at Dunedin Brewery, Tampa The Adventures of Froginator 3 w/ Bonginator/Frog Mallet/more TBA Wednesday, Jan. 10. 7 p.m. $15. Orpheum, Tampa

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50 | NOVEMBER 30-DECEMBER 06, 2023 | cltampabay.com

Gray area By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, My partner and I both work for a public university. Or, we did, until this week when we were told that admin decided to fire about 90% of the adjuncts, us included. We will be out of jobs and health insurance by the end of December. We have no idea what to do. Help? —I Hate Surprises Cards: Three of Cups (reversed), The High Priestess (reversed), The Hermit (reversed), Nine of Pentacles. Dear Surprise, I am so sorry that the rug got pulled out from under you, and so many others, in the middle of the semester. That’s exceptionally cruel and while it’s not uncommon in academia, it’s a fucking tragedy. The Nine of Pentacles, the card of material well-being, is the only one right-side up, making it the most pressing, so the first thing you’re going to do is figure out your finances. Pull everything together and figure out what you have, if you’ll be getting severance or unemployment, if you need/want to move, and how to cover the basics. The “good news” is the healthcare marketplace is open, so you can get insurance for January. With The Three of Cups, it’s also time to lean on friends and colleagues and anyone you’ve gotten drunk with at a conference or chatted with on a panel. The good friends can help you out emotionally (or give you a couch to crash on or whatever) while the network-friends might help with job leads. But, before you get to that step, you and your partner need to ask yourselves: what do I want?

once you know you have a roof over your head somewhere, dive deep into your soul. Best of luck my darlings. Dear Oracle, I’m thinking about breaking The meat of this answer are two Major Arcana, The High Priestess and The Hermit, up with my therapist. She’s said some shit that both of which involve a lot of deep searching. felt way out of line and I don’t know if I trust The High Priestess is not only a card of the her anymore. What do the cards say? —Pissed unconscious but of secret desires. These can off Patient be a secret that we even keep from ourselves. Cards: Ace of Swords, The High So, in this time of transition, when nothing is certain, ask yourself: if you could do anything, Priestess, The Hanged Man (reversed), what would it be? Temperance Dear POP, While I often advocate for therapy Is it to go back to teaching? To pivot to an adjacent field? Or to do something completely in the column, I will admit: some therapists are terrible at their jobs. They can different? At this stage, you’re just spitballing. But honestly be actively harmful and if you let yourself explore the idea. Is think this therapist is doing there some job that rings out damage, especially if there is a pattern, stop seeing her. The like a bell? Good. Send your questions for the cards are moot. Now, with The Hermit, Oracle to oracle@cltampa.com you’ll consider what it would Now, if your therapeutic or DM @theyboracle on Instagram relationship has been pretty mean to find a path forward towards that life. It could take time—you might good up until this point, I think a pause might need to go back to school for another three years be necessary. The Ace of Swords can be very or start cranking out screenplays, or develop a black-or-white thinking, which could translate to business plan and apply for loans. You might feeling condemned if your therapist didn’t 100% need to get day jobs that will float you while you agree with you. The High Priestess, like I menwork towards this one (unless you can luckily tioned above, is a card of the Unconscious and in start your dream job in January.) Jungian psychoanalysis, it’s where the shadow Talk to your partner about your wants and lives. The shadow is a place where we stuff feeltheir wants. What do these paths look like? ings we don’t want to experience—things we Can they exist in the same place? At the same have been shamed for, things we’re afraid of, time? What would that future look like? Of thoughts we don’t want to think and desires course, this conversation is SEVERAL steps we’re scared to admit to. There are all sorts of down the road. Focus on finances now, and things in the shadow—good and bad—but it’s a

ORACLE OF YBOR

tender spot. If someone pushes on it before we’re ready to talk about it, it’s like they’re sticking their finger into an open wound: it hurts hell and we hate them for it. With The Hanged Man, it feels like she might have misunderstood something that was far more fundamental than whatever specific thing she was talking about. She may have stuck her finger in a wound that has been open and oozing for years without realizing it. With that black and white thinking, it might be tempting to see your only options as “quit” or “finger in the wound” but those aren’t the only options on the table. The Hanged Man does encourage a pause, a moment to stop and think. It might be true that your therapist had good intentions and said something shitty. Both can be true. Temperance also discourages black-andwhite thinking and encourages us to hold possibly conflicting truths at the same time. No relationship is all good or all bad all the time. Complexities exist and have to be acknowledged if we want to restore balance. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to talk to your therapist and tell her exactly what upset you and your reaction to it. Together, you can address her hurtful actions and, if you feel like you can trust her, what may have triggered such a strong reaction. Sometimes a fight like this with a therapist can open the door to some deeper healing. But, again, if you don’t feel safe with her, don’t go down the road with her. Find someone new. I hope the conversation goes well, my dear.

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52 | NOVEMBER 30-DECEMBER 06, 2023 | cltampabay.com

Thanks again

This question originally appeared on December 8, 2020.

By Dan Savage

I took the week off. Please enjoy these Thanksgiving-themed questions from the Savage Love archives. Gobble, gobble.—Dan Something is bothering me and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID, we gathered safely for an outdoor Thanksgiving dinner with my family. My mom, my brother and sister-in-law, and my adult nieces and nephews and their partners were there. Each household contributed to the feast, and we had a wonderful evening. While my husband and I were snuggling in bed later he said that my casserole was a big hit thanks to the “secret ingredient.” When I asked what he meant, he informed me that he had deposited my come from a blowjob he’d given me earlier that day in my half-finished casserole. When I asked why he did this, he said he thought it was hot and he was aroused watching my family ingest it. To me, this seems a bit twisted and feels like a deeply disrespectful act toward my family. Now I cannot sleep, and it is impossible for me to think of anything else. I wish he had never told me. — Confused And Shuddering Sleeplessly, Entirely Revolted Over Loaded Entrée Some questions you suspect are fake, some questions you know are fake, and some questions you hope are fake. I wish I could say this question fell into the second category—a question I knew to be fake—but I once got a letter from a man who would excuse himself at dinner parties, quickly rub one out in the bathroom, and then dip the bristles of his hosts’ toothbrushes in his semen. (That was 20 years ago, and I’m still securing my toothbrush in a secret, undisclosed location when we have guests.) So as much as I wished we lived in a world where something like this could never happen, CASSEROLE, we don’t live in that world. That said… some details don’t add up. I’ve been on the receiving end of plenty of blowjobs, CASSEROLE, and there are always tells when a guy doesn’t immediately swallow. A man who’s holding your load in his mouth has a certain look; his mouth and jaw are set in a particular and revealing way. There’s also no post-blowjob kissing or snuggling. And if you were to say, “Thank you, that was great,” and they hummed back, “Mmm-hmm,” instead of saying, “You’re welcome,” you would know the guy didn’t swallow. And yet you would have us believe that your husband somehow gave you a blowjob and somehow didn’t swallow without you noticing and then… did what exactly? Strolled around the house with a mouth full of come until the opportunity to defile your casserole presented itself?

Then again…impromptu blowjobs sometimes happen, CASSEROLE, and they sometimes happen in kitchens. So, I suppose it’s possible your husband interrupted you while you were making a casserole and then spat your load into the casserole you were making and managed to give it a quick stir… without you noticing the spit or the stir? Sounds improbable… but I suppose your husband could have created an additional diversion—a postblowjob diversion—that took your attention off your casserole long enough to execute this spit-and-stir maneuver. But even if he did all of this—blew you, didn’t swallow, created a diversion, spat your semen into your Thanksgiving casserole—would he tell you about it? The guy who was glazing his friend’s toothbrushes didn’t brag to his friends about it. He wrote to me about it, described it as a compulsion, and asked me how to stop. That your husband would be so clueless as to think you wouldn’t be revolted by this is, if you’ll forgive me, a little hard to swallow. Still…If your nieces and nephews are adults… it’s possible you and your husband are getting up there… and he could be suffering from early-onset dementia; inappropriate sexual behavior and poor impulse control are symptoms. So, on the off, off, off chance this actually happened, CASSEROLE, here’s my advice: If your husband spat your load into a half-finished casserole and then watched your whole family consume it and then assumed you would think it was hot and isn’t suffering from dementia, CASSEROLE, then you absolutely, positively need to divorce him. Let us count the ways you can’t trust this man: you can’t trust him with your semen, you can’t trust him not to feed your cum to your mother, you can’t trust him around your siblings and nieces and nephews. You can’t even leave him in the company of an unaccompanied casserole. So, unless you looked into his eyes on your wedding day and thought, “This is a guy who would feed a woman her own son’s semen and I’m fine with that,” your husband isn’t the “great guy” you thought he was. He’s a monster and what he did unforgivable, even criminal. Divorce the asserole. Some will urge you to go to the police and press charges for sexual assault—those casserole leftovers may contain DNA evidence—but you’ll have to weigh involving the police against burdening your mother with the knowledge of your Thanksgiving casserole’s secret ingredient. P.S. A casserole is really more of a side dish at Thanksgiving, isn’t it?

SAVAGE LOVE

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. He’s 25, I’m 27. I asked him to have Thanksgiving dinner with me and my mother at my house. He said no. I also invited him to have dinner with my father, my brother, my stepmom and me the day after Thanksgiving. He said no again. His reasoning: “It would be too awkward.” He has met both sides of my family, and I have met his parents as well. His parents are having Thanksgiving dinner with family friends, and he doesn’t have other Thanksgiving plans. This is not the first time he has turned down invitations to spend time with my family. I’ve told him the only way for us to feel less awkward with each other’s families is to spend more time with them. He just said “I know” via text. I believe he loves me, and he is a wonderful partner in many areas of my life, but this is bothering me. What should I do? I’m fighting the urge to tell him that maybe our relationship is “too awkward” and we should part ways before Christmas. What do you think?—Single On Thanksgiving I’d like to speak to your boyfriend, SOT, so I could ask him the obvious follow-up question (OFUQ: Why does it feel awkward? Assuming your boyfriend is into you and wants to keep seeing you, his answer to the OFUQ could g o

something like this: “We’ve been seeing each other for less than a year and to me it feels like it’s too soon to be spending the holidays with each other’s families — it’s also too soon for us to be calling each other ‘partner.’ So let’s take a deep breath, stay calm and keep being wonderful to each other. If we’re still together this time next year then, yeah, we’ll do Thanksgiving with your folks or mine.”

It’s also a possibility—possibility ≠ certainty—that your boyfriend doesn’t want to keep seeing you and is operating/dating under the mistaken-but-all-too-common belief that it’s kinder to string someone along through the holidays. He may not want to spend Thanksgiving/ Xmess/NYE with your folks because doing so will be held up as evidence of his lying jerkiness after he dumps you on Nov. 27 or Dec. 26 or Jan. 2. My advice: Take “it’s awkward” for an answer, tell him you’d like to have dinner on Saturday, and don’t make a big deal out of his reluctance to spend Thursday at your mom’s and Friday at your dad’s. It could mean nothing at all, SOT, or it could mean something dire. But you’ll just have to wait and see. This question originally appeared on Nov. 24, 2015. When a person has no concept of God, which I assume you don’t, nothing is “off limits” as to the bounds of sexual depravity. I once was where you are now (almost anyway) but came to realize that sex is a sacred pleasure given to men and women to practice responsibly. You turn sex into an ugly recreation, where there are no restrictions or morals. I hope as you mature in life, you begin to realize the true meaning of loving sex. I don’t expect a rebuttal, but thanks for giving me a chance to vent.—Bob Z. My moral code—when it comes to sex—goes something like this: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That rings a bell? Treat each other with respect, show consideration, be kind, meet each other’s needs, don’t take each other for granted, be decent to the people you’re indecent with, and always treat your very special guest stars with generosity. There’s a strong moral code at the heart of my advice. You may be too distracted—or too titillated—by the dirty bells and sleazy whistles to see it, Bob, but like a forearm in a power bottom at Folsom… it’s in there. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Bob. I’m glad you’re happy. But I’d be thankful if you refrained from projecting your prior unhappiness—unhappiness with choices you made that weren’t working for you—onto others. Loving sex is great, Bob, and it comes in many guises. Still, I’m glad you’ve discovered what works for you sexually and emotionally. But you can love the sex you’re having now and find meaning in it without disparaging or making assumptions about the sex other people enjoy and find meaning in. This question—more of accusation, really— originally appeared November 24, 2016. Got a problem? Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.

cltampabay.com | NOVEMBER 30-DECEMBER 06, 2023 | 53

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