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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf FOOD CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge
ory
CONTRIBUTORS John Allman, Jeffery C. Billman, Angelina Bruno, Paul Catala, Gabe Echazabal, Chris Fasick, Julie Garisto, LJ Hilberath, Erin Hughes, Alexandria Jones, Eliot Mayo, Peter Meinke, Nano Riley, Jennifer Ring, Melissa Santell, Cathy Salustri, Eric Snider, Resie eaWorld in February, animal Waechter, SKrights West
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INTERNS Katlynn Mullins, James Bennett III
SeaWorld animal rights any don’t in seeFebruary, a parallel between the kind PHOTOGRAPHERS claiming the practice of keeping wild nd theNicole practice of Nick displaying Abbett, Cardello,animals Kimberly DeFalco, dangerous. But even though public Dave Phil DeSimone, Todd king for tooDecker, much? Or is it time forFixler, a Brian many don’t seeTracy a parallel between Mahar, May, Marlo Miller,the Jesskind Phillips, animals?
Michael M. Sinclair, Kelsey Walker, Chip Weiner, and the practice of displaying animals asking for too much?James Or is Ostrand it time for a t” animals? SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda
Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40
MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND
Music Week ................................................... 42 EVENTS DIRECTOR
When people have to stay home, it’s hard for comedians to standup.
Music: review: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... Alexis Quinn Chamberlain Concert Artic Monkeys ..........................40 42
Free ways to to see and support your favorite local comedians p. 29.
Music ................................................... 42 The ListWeek .......................................................... 46
STREET TEAM
Concert review: Artic Liz Monkeys .......................... 42 Movie reviews 63 Nate..................................................... Lamb, MacLean, Daniel Nolan, Paola Otero, Jason Rivera, Shomy Rodriguez, TheWill List .......................................................... 46 Free Astrology ......................................... 64 Abbey Turner
Movie ........................................................... reviews..................................................... 63 Puzzler 66
CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS Savage Love ...................................................... 69 Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Jaime Monzon
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MUSIC ............................... 34 ASTROLOGY....................... 36 SAVAGE LOVE .................... 37 CROSSWORD ..................... 38
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editor's note ASHLEY DUDNEY
OUT FOR NOW: If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to reflect on the lesson we learned this year.
upscale • resale • we buy • we sell • you refine
Kennedy Blvd @ Henderson
Homebound
Rethinking life inside and outside these four walls. By Ray Roa
A
s I type this, I, like many of you, am at home. My infant son is thankfully sleeping in his crib. A wall and about 12 feet separates me from the quiet little angel who’ll wake up, coo for five minutes and then morph into an eight ball of energy that’ll cry relentlessly until I unload a quarter-pound of alkaline-smelling formula poop, then set him up with both a clean diaper and full 4 p.m. bottle feed. My wife gave birth to him four months ago at Tampa General Hospital. It was December, so TGH’s roof was illuminated by a gigantic light display. I like to think that Patrick—named after my father-in-law who passed away from brain cancer two years ago—is our baby boy born under the Christmas tree. Patrick will be the only child my wife and I have; the world can’t handle another one of our spawn, trust me. If I’m lucky, and stay healthy, I’ll be able to tell Patrick about how the world almost fell apart when he was a baby. I’ll be able to tell him how mommy went back to the place where he was born—three times a week, 13 hours a day—to take care of people. People who were all scared of getting a disease that was so contagious that it could force them to die alone on a hospital bed. I’d heard that caring for an infant was not easy. I now know that caring for one—all alone, while your wife risks her life at work, and while you and your small, recently-furloughed team of alt-weekly junkies puts out a paper
and maintains a website—feels indescribably impossible. But I’m not alone in that. Every night, my wife hits the pillow, and worries about whether or not she might be bringing the contagion into our home. Across Tampa Bay, and across the world, people are scared, and they’re tired. I read somewhere that we’re supposed to treat our new lives as shut-ins like a marathon, not a sprint. But I, like so many of you, feel beat the fuck up every night when I go to bed. It’s crazy to think that there are others who go to sleep feeling even more run down. The following pages aren’t meant to make it feel worse, but they are meant to show you that there are folks who feel scared, and tired, just like you. Some of them, like Lynn Hurtak and Tim Burke, want to try and help. Others, like Joel Davis, are asking you to help them feed their employees. And more, like so many of the do-gooders on Food 1, are turning their anxiety into actions that are feeding their communities. Our cover guy, Tampa rapper Big Baby Scumbag, also has something positive to add to the conversation. The following pages feature stories from the past week, which will go down as one of the hardest weeks of all of our lives… until next week gets here. One day, if we’re lucky, and we stay healthy, we’ll all be able to sit across from each other at the table and talk about all the things we’ve learned. We’ll talk about how this community—our collective home—came together to lift each other up in the face of it all. I hope that someday, you’ll get to read that story in this paper. But in the meantime, I, like you, will be at home waiting it out. And one day, I, like you, if we’re lucky, will walk back into the door of my house, and remember what the word “home” really means after all.
“There are others who go to sleep feeling even more run down.”
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Sleepy septima Photos by Dave Decker
Y
bor City on a Friday used to mean the buzz from another workweek fizzling away and the promise of the weekend. These days, it means more room for the chickens and a few stray people on Seventh Avenue to keep things interesting. Follow Dave Decker at photos.cltampa. com or on Instagram (@watson33569) to see more. —Ray Roa
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 7
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8 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
INFORMED DISSENT POLITICS
ISSUES
OPINION
The new hoax
The failures that brought us this pandemic can never be forgiven or forgotten.
“
The reason you’re seeing so much attention to [COVID-19] today is that [the media] think this is going to be the thing that brings down the president. That’s what this is all about it. … The flu kills people. This is not Ebola. It’s not SARS, it’s not MERS. It’s not a death sentence; it’s not the same as the Ebola crisis.” —Acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney, Conservative Political Action Conference, Washington, D.C., Feb. 27 From 2014–16, Ebola killed more than 11,300 people. In 2003, SARS infected 8,096 people and killed 774. In 2012, MERS spread throughout the Arabian Peninsula, leading to about 2,500 confirmed cases and 858 deaths by the end of 2019. As of Monday morning, COVID-19 has infected nearly 1.3 million people and killed 70,356 in just over three months. Mulvaney wasn’t speaking out of turn. This was the party line. A day earlier, on Feb. 26, Trump tweeted that the coronavirus was “very much under control.” At a press briefing on Feb. 24, when there were 58 known coronavirus cases in the U.S., Trump said it wasn’t as big a deal as the flu: “The flu, in our country, kills from 25,000 people to 69,000 people a year. That was shocking to me. … And again, when you have 15 people, and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero, that’s a pretty good job we’ve done.” A few hours after Mulvaney handwaived the coronavirus threat, the president traveled to a MAGA rally in South Carolina, where he blamed not just the media but Democrats for overhyping the crisis: “This is their new hoax.” Two days later, the first American died of COVID-19. Since then, 9,652 Americans have followed—again, as of Monday morning—and roughly 338,000 Americans have been diagnosed with the novel coronavirus. If Trump gets his way, this history will be
JOYCE N. BOGHOSIAN
By Jeffrey C. Billman
HE’S NOT LISTENING: Trump’s colossal failure has catastrophic repercussions and will cost thousands of lives. memory-holed. In his retelling, he knew it would be a pandemic before anyone called it a pandemic, and he took it seriously from the start, even though it was a crisis no one saw coming. And if the death count is less than 2.2 million—a years-long, worst-case-scenario projection that assumed no mitigation—it will be a testament to his leadership. Last week, the White House’s coronavirus task force unveiled its own projection: Between 100,000-240,000 would die, it said, though the White House wouldn’t divulge the projection’s timeline or assumptions. As of Monday, the University of Washington’s Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation’s model— IHME, which the White House used to develop its projections—forecast 81,766 U.S. deaths through August. Some public health officials believe the IHME is optimistic, and other models are much grimmer. But if it is correct and this wave of COVID-19 fizzles by July, Trump will head into the election touting it as an achievement. And all of a sudden, 80,000 deaths in four months— more than in Vietnam, more than 25 9/11s—will somehow be recast as a victory instead of a colossal failure, likely with the same pusillanimous media now swooning over Trump’s “change of
“No matter how many die, that will always be Trump’s unpardonable sin.”
tone” complicit in the sales job. Trump is, if nothing else, a champion bullshitter. But make no mistake: This is a colossal failure with catastrophic repercussions. It will cost thousands of lives. And the worst of it could have been avoided. We shouldn’t forget that. And we damn sure shouldn’t forgive it. Two startling reports from this weekend lay bare how badly Trump botched the most important job of his presidency. The first, from the Associated Press, reveals that the administration waited until mid-March to place bulk orders for N95 respirator masks, ventilators, and other equipment needed by front-line health care workers. By that time, the national emergency stockpile was depleted. In late March, Trump finally ordered General Motors and Ford to manufacture ventilators, but the order came too late for them to produce mass quantities before the peak of the crisis hits. More damning is a devastating Washington Post investigation detailing how a disinterested president and his incompetent team missed chance after chance to contain the virus before it spun out of control, all while telling the public that this was nothing to worry about. Throughout January, as officials tried to focus Trump’s attention on the pandemic, he brushed them aside. Finally, on Jan. 31, Trump shut down travel to China, but only after China locked down Wuhan. By then, the U.S. already had eight coronavirus cases.
Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar’s efforts to secure additional funding for equipment and a testing-and-tracking network were shot down as “alarmist.” When coronavirus cases started to mount, the White House eventually agreed to ask Congress for $2.5 billion, which Congress upped to $8 billion. By then, the Post reports, “The United States missed a narrow window to stockpile ventilators, masks, and other protective gear.” The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention failed to put together a reliable coronavirus test while the government blocked private and academic labs from deploying their own until Feb. 29. Again, too late. Without widespread testing, the U.S. lost weeks in which it could have pinpointed and contained outbreaks before they spread. This tragedy of errors, of course, traces to the top: to a president who disdained expertise, nurtured his sense of grievance, and prioritized the stock market and his own reelection above all else. The result, as the Post succinctly puts it, is that “the United States will likely go down as the country that was supposedly best prepared to fight a pandemic but ended up catastrophically overmatched by the novel coronavirus, sustaining heavier casualties than any other nation.” No matter how many die, that will always be Trump’s unpardonable sin. @jeffreybillman
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 9
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He taketh away
Tampa church that held services during coronavirus outbreak loses its insurance.
L
ast Wednesday, Rodney Howard-Browne, the head pastor at The River at Tampa Bay Church, who was arrested for holding services during the coronavirus pandemic, said he would not open his megachurch last weekend over fear of his congregation’s safety and to protect them from “government tyranny.” However, his lawyer is now saying he also lost his insurance. Speaking in a Facebook Live video last Thursday, Howard-Browne’s lawyer, Mat Staver of the Liberty Counsel, admitted that the arrest of his client earlier that week by Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronsister caused the evangelical pastor’s insurance to be canceled. “On Monday, the sheriff held this circus of a press conference and frankly lied to the American people and around the world,” said Staver. “Defamed this pastor, put him at risk, painted a target on his back—on the back of the church. Ultimately resulting in death threats, even the cancellation of insurance by the insurance carrier. This has got to stop.” Well, it certainly goes without saying, but if local laws and a highly contagious virus won’t do it, not having insurance at your megachurch is certainly another good reason to close your doors. Last Friday, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis attempted to clarify a very confusing executive order that was quietly signed two days beforehand, stating that statewide rules will “supersede any conflicting official action or order issued by local officials in response to COVID-19.” In a press conference, the governor then told reporters that local authorities actually can in fact enforce stricter rules (like closing a park for jogging), but just not when it comes to churches. “Look, I don’t think that the government has the authority to close a church,” said DeSantis during the press conference. “I’m certainly not going to do that. At the same time we got with the churches and the synagogues very early, and said what you guys are doing, I think it’s even more important, but can we ask that you do it in a way that is going to be conducive to this overall mission? And I would say almost all of them 100% agree.” Howard-Browne has since said that his church is not closed indefinitely, and the possibility of inviting hundreds of his followers to his megachurch on Easter Sunday is still undecided. Of course, let’s just hope he can get insurance by then.
Staver is a guy who once said the “Q” in LGBTQ stands for “pedophilia.” Howard-Browne was arrested late last month after ignoring local and state emergency orders for holding services at his megachurch last weekend, which potentially exposed thousands to coronavirus. In a statement released last Monday, Staver argued that the order banning groups of 10 or more from gathering should not have applied to The River Tampa Bay Church, where Howard-Browne is head pastor, and that the church did, in fact, enforce social distancing rules. “The Hillsborough County administrative order has so many exceptions it looks like swiss cheese,” argued Staver in a statement. “The order allows a wide range of commercial operations that are either specifically exempt or exempt if they can comply with a six-foot separation. Yet, if the purpose of your meeting is religious, the county prohibits it with no exception for the six-foot separation.” A livestream of a worship service from March 29, showed a large congregation packed into Howard-Browne’s megachurch, presumably violating the county and state’s orders requiring gatherings be fewer than 10 people, and rules on social distancing. “The problem with this administrative order is it was not reviewed by constitutional experts or vetted by a deliberative body. Neither the Constitution nor Florida law protecting churches and the free exercise of religion disappear,” continued Staver. “This order from Hillsborough County is not narrowly tailored to achieve its underlying objective.” In his statement, Staver also claims that the church gave out hand sanitizer, the six-foot rule was enforced, and that the staff wore gloves. It should be noted that no one in the livestream can be seen wearing gloves, or observing the six-foot social distancing rule. Staver also said the church spent $100,000 on a hospital grade purification system. In the week leading up to the packed service, Howard-Browne declared that his church was the “most sterile building in America” and should be deemed an essential business, also arguing that orders for him to shut down violated his First Amendment rights. Howard-Browne then held two services last Sunday. In response, Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister issued an arrest warrant for Howard-Browne, charging him with unlawful assembly and violation of public health
RODNEY HOWARD-BROWNE/YOUTUBE
By Colin Wolf
LOCAL NEWS
WE THOUGHT JESUS HEALED THE LAME: In fashion and practice, Rodney HowardBrowne (R) is the exception when it comes to local churches. emergency rules, both are second-degree misdemeanors, punishable up to 60 days in jail, with a maximum fine of $500. “The River Tampa Bay Church has an advantage over most places of worship,” said Chronister at a press conference, “as they have access to technology allowing them to live stream their services over the internet and broadcast television for more than their 4,000 members to watch from the safety from their own homes.Instead they encouraged people to come and gather at the church, even provided bus transportation for the services.” Last Monday, Howard-Browne turned himself in to the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office. “I was shocked that Sheriff Chad Chronister held his press conference before the arrest was completed,” said Staver in the statement.“I am
astounded that Sheriff Chronister used his press conference to lecture about the Bible. This is entirely inappropriate for a government official to take sides on religion.” Staver is probably most well-known for representing Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay people back in 2015. But it should also be noted that he has a past of wildly insane notions, like Jay-Z is a known “satanist,” and that Pulse first responders probably needed to get tested for “AIDs-related conditions” after the shooting at the gay nightclub that left 49 people dead. The Orlando-based Liberty Counsel is associated with Jerry Falwell Jr.’s Liberty University, which, coincidentally allowed students and facility to return to class this week, only to have over a dozen report symptoms of COVID-19.
“He declared that his church was the ‘most sterile building in America.’”
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 11
Tampa couple helps us navigate our new lives at home.
COURTESY PHOTO
Lifestyles of the going nowhere By Ray Roa
L
ike many couples in Tampa Bay, Lynn Hurtak and Timothy Burke face the daunting prospect of being holed up together for at least the next month-and-a-half. The difference is that they’ve been working from home and eating most of their meals at la casa for the last decade. Finding success in that situation is harder than locating a roll of toilet paper these days, so the couple hit the ignition on “Surviving The Stuckat-home Lifestyle,” a video series they’ve been kicking the tires on for some time. There are three clips so far, and while it’s nice to learn how Hurtak and Burke—an editor and evaluator for aid programs, and a national media consultant, respectively—make a kickass meatballs and Cuban pork roast, what’s more impressive is the way the couple calmly, and quickly, talks through a collaborative process that clearly took a lot of compromise and flexibility to figure out. I watched the first segment three times; I’m not sure that I’m on my way yet, but I did get to quickly pick Hurtak and Burke’s brains as the world seems to fall apart around us. It was comforting to learn that they’re just as angst-ridden as we are, but that they, too, can think of a few things they’ll appreciate more once, and if, we can all get through this. Lynn, you mentioned how John Darnielle provided you an immense amount of comfort in this dark, dark time. The videos with you and Tim are obviously sunny, but I did want to ask both of you about your moods day-to-day as the fallout unfolds around you. On a scale of 1-10, how heartbreaking or angsty is all of this to both of you? What are some of the new things keeping you up at night? Lynn: John Darnielle has been my go-to for everything for a long time. I mean, who hasn’t been listening to “This Year” on repeat? Probably a 7. I’m worried about the pain this is causing everyone—from those sick and dying, their families, people losing their jobs, businesses going under... The world will never be the same again and that’s scary. I was really angsty last week, but I’ve dialed down my social media interaction to twice a day. It helps. I also don’t watch
GOOD THINGS AHEAD: Lynn Hurtak (L) and Timothy Burke want to share a little of their time. TV, ever (I leave that to Tim). Tim: 8. My job used to require me to be exposed to right-wing media all day, which was really harmful to my emotional health. Now, we’re all exposed to the bad decisions being made by elected officials across the country—and which ramps up an anxiety I never really had before. I’ve gone considerably gray in about four weeks. Tim, you mentioned how nice it is to be married to someone who is organized and prepared for everything. Outside of the badass Cuban pork, what else are you bringing to this relationship? Lynn: He’s the one who can get anything done. I mused the other day that I wish we could get our books out of boxes (from moving 4 years ago!), and he sketched out a plan and ordered lumber to build a bookcase, which he’s never done before. We work really well as a team.
Q&A
12 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
Will you continue the series through the stayat-home order? Tim: Yes. We’ve been talking about doing something like this for a while, and this provided the motivation to do it. You two are obviously well seasoned to work at home, but what do you miss the most from the before time? Lynn: I miss all the interaction with my neighbors and friends. We had a ton of neighborhood
activities we had to cancel, and that’s been a big blow. Tim: Meetings? That sounds deranged. But, yeah, meetings. At tables, with other people sitting at the table with you. As far as local response to the pandemic, what do you think isn’t getting enough attention? Is there anything that’s leaving you really uneasy as far as what Tampa Bay might look like when everyone else is allowed to go back to work? Anything about the local response that’s really impressed you? Tim: The arts community, without immediate financial attention, is going to collapse across the Tampa Bay area. A decade of state funding cuts had all of us on the edge every year to begin with, & now that most of us have had to cancel multiple productions—if not the rest of our seasons—the arts options in Tampa are about to dwindle unless we get some help. That having been said, I think a number of local officials have stepped up to provide strong voices; more importantly, people in the neighborhoods are doing what they can. From the Heights Citizens Bicycle Brigade delivering local restaurant meals, to Kristen Brown with TRIBE planting pinwheels across the Heights, to Michael Guinn & the volunteers with MRG 3D printing face shields for local health professionals, I’ve seen people all around me doing
things to move us forward. Lynn: I’m concerned about those who have lost their jobs and may lose their housing. We need rent/mortgage help for everyone right now. There are a lot of people who won’t have work to go back to. What will we do for them? I agree the immediate local response has been heartening. I’ve also been super impressed by the local papers and their ability to cover news so quickly—even with layoffs and limited print schedules. Lastly, this thing is changing all of us. How do you think it’s already changed you and how you’ve come to view and appreciate your community? Lynn: For the last ten years, my work has focused on West Africa. But in the last week I’ve been thinking about how I can transition to working within this community, to strengthen the ties we’ve already developed. It’s made me want to dig in deeper. Tim: I’ve learned that we have a lot of friendly neighbors who spend all their time inside; this pandemic, ironically, has driven them all outside to walk their dogs, or exercise, or whatever— and I’ve learned I have a lot more interesting people around me than I ever knew, and hope they decide to keep coming outside after this is all over.
“I’ve gone considerably gray in about four weeks.”
Bust your nut Squirrelling your coronavirus check into savings is not the ethical thing to do. By David Andreatta
ADOBE
I
n a few weeks, most American taxpayers will receive a one-time check from the federal government for $1,200, plus $500 per dependent child, as part of a relief package intended to help them weather the economic fallout of the coronavirus pandemic. The payments are for people earning below $75,000 a year, like my wife and me, who, with our two children are in line for a $3,400 windfall. The rebates begin to phase out after that income level before dwindling to nothing. For the millions of workers who have lost their jobs, that extra money will hopefully be put to good use paying rent, mortgages, utility bills, and day-to-day living expenses. But what of the millions of taxpayers like my wife and me who still have our jobs and for whom this aid is found money? How should we use our share? What is the right thing to do? What is the ethical thing to do? There has been no shortage of news stories citing the advice of personal finance experts on how to best use the money. Most conclude the same thing: Seed a rainy-day fund then pay off debt and, if there’s anything left over, invest it. That’s perhaps how to best use the money from a personal finance standpoint, but that’s not my question. I’m asking how the money should be used by someone in my circumstances. In other words, what is the purpose of the money? Some congressional leaders have called the $2 trillion package a “stimulus,” but that’s a misnomer. The economy, which has been shut down to slow the spread of the virus, doesn’t need a jolt to get moving again. It can’t move. What the government is really trying to do with the payments is tide people and businesses over until it is safe for the economy to start up again. The government is essentially paying people not to work and businesses not to shut down, even if they have no customers. My wife and I don’t need to be helped through this period financially, at least not now. Our 401ks are anemic at the moment, but we have a savings account that could sustain us for a few months. Barely, but the money is there. For advice, I didn’t turn to another personal finance consultant. I turned to an ethicist. Randy Curren, who heads the Philosophy Department at the University of Rochester, where he specializes in ethics, explained that the money was intended to sustain economic
SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP: Someone else’s income relies on your burning through that stimulus check. activity on which people other than my wife and I — and the millions of others like us — depend. He went on to say that while my household may not need the money, people at our income level are generally more likely to spend it than the wealthy who already have more money than they know how to spend. “In the spirit of the law’s intent, people who receive these payments should spend what they can to help those who are more vulnerable the small businesses and nonprofit organizations of our communities,” Curren said. “Our spending is other people’s income,” he added, “and from an ethical perspective it is reasonable to consider whose income is most at risk.” Richard Dees, a professor of philosophy and bioethics at the University of Rochester who
ETHICS
researches public health ethics, weighed in, saying taxpayers like me should consider aiding a nonprofit agency. “There are many agencies that are getting hit by requests for help that could use the cash, or other nonprofits, like arts organizations, that have been shuttered by the virus that could put a donation to good use right away,” Dees said. My wife and I aren’t wealthy. In these unprecedented and uncertain times, my gut tells me to sock away our $3,400 to shore up our rainy day fund for, well, a rainier day, which at this rate seems right around the corner. But not spending might be worse for everyone.
One family can’t solve the current crisis. But one family can do its part to alleviate the strain on others. What that looks like for us is dumping the money into a local business in our community. After some thought, that business will be a landscaper. For years, we’ve put off felling a couple of trees in our yard, one of them diseased, that are perilously close to our home. They need to come down before they topple and put a hole in the house the size of the hole in many people’s wallets right now. David Andreatta is Rochester City Newspaper’s editor. This piece was made available to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay via AAN.
“Not spending it might be worse for everyone.”
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 13
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14 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
Shit Happened Citing a, “unprecedented national emergency,” Duke Energy says it plans to cut Florida customers’ utility bills this May. Tampa TIAGO CHEDIAK (CC-2.0) Electric Co. has proposed a similar plan, which means you can actually run the air conditioning during your sixth week of forced unemployment. Tampa Bay finds out that Tom Brady is moving into Derek Jeter’s giant Davis Islands mansion. That boat captain who sells tours based on stopping by the crib starts printing a Gisele Bündchen promotional pamphlet.
Tampa Rep. Jackie Toledo calls for investigation into Florida’s terrible unemployment website, which one DeSantis advisor called a “shit-sandwich.” Holy shit, we just agreed with a Republican.
SUNDAY 05 CITYOFTAMPA/YOUTUBE
FRIDAY 03
STATE OF FLORIDA
THURSDAY 02
Datz says an anonymous local veteran, philanthropist and bourbon collector bought its bottle of 25-year-old Pappy Van Winkle Whiskey for $40,000—double the asking price. The person also brushes their teeth with Johnnie Walker Blue.
Tampa Mayor Jane Castor and iHeartMedia announce plans to launch a nightly, at-home karaoke dance party. St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman immediately calls everyone he knows at Cox Media Group to get in on the action. No telling how shitty the next news cycle might be, but we’ll keep writing about it at cltampa. com/news.
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Corona crisis Commune + Co. teams up with Jujmo for relief T-shirt.
By Ray Roa and James Bennett III
RESTAURANTS
RECIPES
UNION BY COMMUNE + CO.
J
oel Davis knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier. The March 16 closure of Tampa’s Armature Works Heights Public Market forced Davis’ coffee bar, Union—named one of the top shops in America by Food & Wine—to shutter as well. That meant no more income to support Union’s 13 employees. “I had been trying to prepare myself mentally and emotionally as well as preparing my staff for what I felt was inevitable. I think the hardest part of it all was not having a say in any of it,” Davis told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. He believes Armature Works did the right thing by voluntarily closing before the City of Tampa asked it to, but while other shops—like nearby King State, which was named no. 8 on that Food & Wine list—had the option of curbside or to-go service, Union did not. “That’s something that really hurt us,” Davis added. So friends at the Seminole Heights Meat Market less than two miles away let Davis set up his Commune + Co. pressure brew trike and a mobile espresso bar. But after a week, even that ended up not being feasible as health concerns and social distancing measures moved Davis to do the right thing for the wellbeing of his employees. That staff, out of work for nearly a month now, is now the beneficiary of pre-orders of two “Corona Crisis” relief T-shirts designed by Tampa Bay artist Jujmo. One shirt is pink and the other is black. Both say, “Because the best (and worst) things in life are shared” on them, and each has its own design. They’re available for just $25 and will ship on a date to be determined. In the meantime, Davis and his staff are coping and trying to be mindful about it. He’s got them linked up to the virtual tip jar, and he’s appliting for every relief opportunity our government is providing. “I’m just doing what I can. [The staff is] my biggest concern. They are the best thing I’ve ever had going for me, and I want to make sure I support them in any way I can through all of this in hopes they can stay whole,” Davis said, adding that he’s focusing on what he can control and doing everything he can to ensure Union is ready and able to open back up as soon as the virus passes and this is “over.” “But we’re here—as stressed and anxious as everyone else—but here nonetheless,” Davis added. “I’m anxious to see what the new 'normal' looks like post pandemic. I don’t think we’ll ever be the same." "I hope we learn some lessons and come out smarter at the least. Maybe more tender?”
DINING GUIDES
FILL THE CUP: With no curbside or to-go option, Union coffee shop, is getting creative to support staff. And there are still more ways to practice that tenderness Davis mentioned, thanks to so many philanthropic efforts happening across the Bay area. Find links to these on ctampa. com/food, but here are just a few: onBikes founder Julius Tobin is spearheading a “Fueling the Frontlines” grassroots movement that aims to connect local restaurants with hospitals and clinics to deliver fresh, hot meals to health care workers fighting coronavirus on the front lines. The initiative quickly hit its 30-day goal of $12,000. “Our partner restaurants will be delivering lunch and dinner at an average cost of $12 per person per meal,” Tobin wrote on GoFundMe. “We aspire to feed as many of them as possible, as long as this lasts.” Tampa Bay Beer Week (TBBW) is giving local breweries up to $1,000 during the coronavirus pandemic thanks to a donation from the Redner Family Foundation. The monies come from a dollar for dollar sales matching program happening at 10 breweries and 10 on-premise retailers—for a total of 20 businesses—which will be the initial beneficiaries of a single day promotion. Locations will be announced and promoted on TBBW’s website and social media channels. Taco Bus is once again donating meals—this time more than 300—to local first responders. You can support the effort by visiting the chain, which is keeping it Chido by offering takeout and delivery in addition to bus loads of essentials like frozen beef, shrimp, chicken breast,
FOOD NEWS
bread, toilet paper and paper towels. As the pandemic surges, the pressure on nonprofits like Metropolitan Ministries, which continues to feed Tampa Bay’s most vulnerable families via its drive-thru food pantry. It’s in desperate need of non-perishable food donations and cash. The United States Bartenders Guild in Tampa provides free Sunday family takeout dinners to aid affected hospitality employees. More information is on the USBG Facebook page. Adriana Generallo, Creative Director at marketing firm Big Sea, set up the St. Pete Virtual Tip Jar for local hospitality workers who have been affected by the coronavirus pandemic. The website encourages people to consider tipping a local service industry worker through Venmo or PayPal whenever they drink or eat at home while restaurants are suspending dinein service. Boulevard Burgers & Tap House—located at 5905 Gulf Blvd. in St. Pete Beach—is feeding hamburgers and cheeseburgers to all comers, daily, from 12 p.m.-4 p.m. “It’s the least we can do. The community has shown us so much love and support,” owner Charles Marco, owner said. “It’s our honor to give it back.” Bay area Fuzzy’s Tacos locations have raised more than $15,000 as part of the local chain’s “1 Taco at a Time” campaign, which seeks to feed overworked medical professionals in Tampa Bay and Lakeland. The Melendi family’s “Rising Tide”
GoFundMe uses monies to purchase meals from local restaurants, which are then delivered to hospital workers, police and firefighters, and the homeless. Nearly $7,000 of a $10,000 goal has been raised so far. World of Beer’s “Pay It Forward” initiative takes $10 donations and delivers a meal to a local healthcare professionals. What’s more is that WOB is matching each donation with a meal of its own, so $10 feeds two frontline responders. The “Tampa Carryout” Tampa Bay food truck drivethrough—located at 5818 Causeway Blvd. in the Palm River-Clairmel neighborhood of east Tampa— serves free meals to first responders and healthcare workers. The public can also order, which supports the free meals. CBK Catering + Events is raising money in a fund that will provide Easter dinner to hospitality workers facing financial hardship. Each package costs $60 to make and will feed a family of six to eight people; CBK has a goal to feed 100 families. Colombian-Mexican restaurant Bahia Tacos was just getting off the ground when the pandemic started to unfold, but that hasn’t stopped it from giving free burritos to first responders as part of a “burrito de héroe” campaign. St. Petersburg real estate blog St. Pete Rising is working with partners for “St. Pete Meals,” which has raised more than $25,000 from more than 400 individuals and organizations. The result is more than 1,000 meals already delivered to healthcare workers, with more on the way.
“I don’t think we’ll ever be the same.”
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CL’s most recently reviewed restaurants Parlor House Bistro Chef Ryan Steffensmeier’s new French restaurant is a cozy addition to the Dunedin scene. Entrees deliver classic bistro dishes in fine form. The super tender filet mignon has a perfectly-charred crust plus delightful green peppercorn cognac cream sauce with Lyonnaise potatoes and surprisingly full-flavored confit carrots with grill marks 1757 Main St., Dunedin. parlorhousebistro.com
BEAT THE HEAT!
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FREE REGULAR SALAD OR PINT OF ICE CREAM WITH PURCHASE OF LARGE PIZZA AT REGULAR PRICE EXP. 7/4 ONLINE CODE CLCHILL
MON - THU 11AM to 10PM FRI - SAT 11AM to 11PM SUN 12PM to 10PM 3692 WEST GANDY BLVD. | TAMPA, FL | 336611
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Counter Culture James Beard-nominated chef Jeannie Pierola has outdone herself with her latest concept, Counter Culture, in Tampa. Our critic gushes over the menu and decor, while marveling at Pierola’s attention to detail. According to JPC, you’re safe ordering anything, but make sure to start with the tuna tartare appetizer, which he says is simply perfection. 2909 W. Bay to Bay no. 100, Tampa. cc-tampa.com
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Olivia Chef Chris Ponte’s latest venture (pictured below) is an upscale Italian trattoria in South Tampa showing the care and thoughtfulness of a chef at the top of his game. An all-star on the menu is the Bucatini, which leads your tastes buds on an tangled adventure filled with smoked guanciale nuggets from tender pork cheeks, and plenty of sharp black pepper for pungency to balance the creamy carbonara sauce. Be prepared for a wait, even with a reservation. 3601 W. Swann Ave., Tampa. oliviatampa.com
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Rox Rooftop Bar The most sweeping panoramic view of Tampa Bay of any watering hole in the region comes with carefully crafted cocktails at this indoor-outdoor bar. Along with the unparalleled views and splendid sips, the food matches the high standard with eats like a citrus grilled achiote shrimp taco topped with shreds of cabbage and pickled kohlrabi, plus some heat from jalapeño, and minced cilantro make for a flavorful combo. You’d need to be a pelican or osprey to get a better view. Current Hotel, 2545 N. Rocky Point Dr., Tampa. thecurrenthotel.com
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Old School Bar and Grill Stocked with TVs, giant Jenga and live music, this South Tampa restaurant serves classic bar food. If you’re a corndog fan, go for the six hand-dipped miniwagyu beef corn dogs the size of fat skewered golf balls. The juicy dogs have layered beefy flavor highlighted by corn batter that’s not at all grainy. 2202 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. oldschoolbars.com
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Barterhouse Ybor City’s new show-stopper has a seasonal menu that focuses on approachable but elevated fare. The Fresh Florida fish (black grouper) wows, constructed of a luscious filet sitting on creamy cauliflower purée topped with shaved crisp Brussels sprouts and bacon surrounded by herb vinaigrette. A perfect quenelle of golden caper pistou with citrus adds a scrumptious grace note. 1811 N. 15th St., Suite A, Ybor City. barterhouseybor.com
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Jon Palmer Claridge is the Bay area’s longest running food critic and dines anonymously when reviewing. Visit cltampa.com/food to see an explanation of his rating system, his Top 50 Tampa restaurants of 2019 and read his new book, “Drink. More. Wine!”
MELISSA SANTELL
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Frea-King crazy Tampa Bay restaurants are quickly adapting to give you more takeout or delivery options.
By Alexis Chamberlain and Ray Roa
RAY ROA
F
irst thing: This list represents just a slice of what’s still available for pickup and delivery across the Tampa Bay area. So visit cltampa. com/food to see the most updated and completely fleshed out version. Also, tip the shit out of the waitstaff if you can, and don’t go on Yelp to complain. We’re all busting our asses off out here. 3 Dot Dash From Wed.-Sun., Seminole Heights the vegan food stand takes orders by phone only, for pick-up or delivery by the volunteer Heights Citizens Bicycle Brigade. 6203 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-675-4522. 3 Dot Dash on Facebook 4 Rivers Smokehouse All locations have pop-up drive thru and recently added limited grocery service. Orders happening online, over the phone and via the 4 Rivers app. 844-474-8377. 4rsmokehouse.com 717 South New takeout menu available, plus cocktails for $9 each and a free roll of toilet paper with all takeout orders. 717 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-250-1661. 717south.com Affordable Catering Takeout and delivery. Family-style takeout menu available for 10 people or more. Menu changes daily, and place orders by noon the day before. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 4108 Gunn Hwy., Tampa. 813-962-1525. affordablecatering.net American Social The Harbour Island hotspot has family-style quarantine kits (sliders, BBQ, tacos, pizza, pasta), and is even selling a kidfriendly, make your own pizza kit that comes with balls of dough, mozzarella, pepperoni, ham, and parmesan. 601 S. Harbour Island Blvd., Tampa. 813-605-3333. americansocialbar. com/tampa Ava 20% off of all takeout orders $50 or more, plus cocktails for $9 each and a free roll of toilet paper with all takeout orders. 718 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-5123030. avatampa.com Bahama Breeze Takeout and delivery. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. Multiple locations. bahamabreeze.com Bake’n Babes Delivery. Salted chocolate chip cookies and Sleazy Brownies on Ubereats. The concept has also been providing free meals for service industry workers. Contactless delivery available. 1701 N. Franklin St., Tampa. 813405-4008. bakenbabes.com Bandit Coffee Co. Orders accepted online and via phone only for contactless pickup from 8
IN BLOOM: Yeah, King State has pizza specials now. a.m.-2 p.m. 2662 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. com Brick House Tavern + Tap Takeout and delivery. 727-201-9140. banditstpete.square.site Big Bamboo Bayside Takeout and delivery. Curbside pickup available. 10% off all take out Bella’s Italian Café The South Tampa staple is Burgers, tacos, pizza and sandwiches. Also open orders. 1102 N. Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. 813on DoorDash and operating a massive curbside for breakfast. Delivery via UberEats. 20% off 350-9108. brickhousetavernandtap.com pickup operation, which means you can add if you live or work off Rocky Point Drive. 2506 Brick Oven Pizzeria Takeout and delivery. Brick meatballs to your confetti spaghetti—or make N Rocky Point Dr., Tampa. 813-803-2207. big- oven pizza, Italian food, wings, calzones, salads, a carbonara food baby—until the closures are bamboobayside.com and more. 9945 Trinity Blvd., Trinity. 727-372lifted. 1413 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-254- BJ’s Restaurant & Brewhouse Guests can order 1302. trinitybrickoven.com 3355. bellasitaliancafe. online via the BJ’s App or website. “Touchless” Brocato’s Sandwich Shop The East Tampa stacom Takeout available. Orders made through the ple is still serving a limited menu—including BellaBrava Takeout BJ’s App and Website will also have waived breakfast sandwiches—for takeout only. It’s cash and delivery. Take- delivery fees through the end of April with only, too, so bring the hand sanitizer. 5021 E. out only special: buy any $19.95 purchase. Plus, use the promo code Columbus Dr., Tampa. 813-248-9977. brocatosone pasta dish, get “PIZOOKIE” for a free Pizookie. For a limited sandwich.com a second free. Curbside pickup and contact- time, BJ’s is offering Half-Off Large Pizzas, $6 Buddy Brew Coffee Cafes are open for take out less delivery available. 204 Beach Dr. NE, St. Take-Home Entrees (with a $9.95 purchase) pre- and curbside is available at Kennedy, Hyde Petersburg. 727-895-5515. bellabrava.com pared chilled, ready to be heated when you get Park and Sarasota locations. Delivery available Bern’s Steak House You bet the steak sandwich home and six packs of BJ’s Beer and $10 bottles through Buddy Brew Coffee Express, and the is on the to-go menu. A limited number of the of wine (where available). Delivery is also avail- mobile Brew Truck is out and about at 3302 W. tried and true South Tampa favorite are avail- able through Door Dash, Postmates and others. Bay to Bay, the site of Buddy Brew’s next locaable—along with other items—each day, and Multiple locations. bjsbrewhouse.com tion! Order two or more bags of beans online and each sale means more money for a virtual Bern’s The Blind Goat Food & Drink Co. Specializing get free shipping anywhere in the U.S. Multiple Tip Jar where funds are being split between front in made from scratch pizza & our famous deli- locations. buddybrew.com and back of the house staff. 1208 S. Howard cious chicken wings. 15% off to go pick up, $30 Burger 21 Family Meal Deal: $39 mix and match Ave., Tampa. 813-251-2421. bernssteakhouse.com for 24 wings + 6 pack, $10 for 6-pack import four of your favorite burgers (101, Cheesy, or Better Byrd Takeout and delivery. Family-sized + dip, $10 for 4-pack craft + dip, $4 all drafts Black Bean), includes two shareable fries, four (serves 8) meal packages, plus beer and wine to (bring your own growler), and $25 any pizza and fountain beverages or bottled waters and four go. 50% off for first responders. 4447 4th St. N., wine. 4106 Henderson Blvd., Tampa. 813-515- cookies. 11777 Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. 813No. 1, St. Petersburg. 727-325-2973. betterbyrd. 7962. blindgoattampa.com 405-3595. burger21.com
TAKEOUT
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available to-go. 25% off any bottle of wine and a free quart of sangria with every take-out order of $25 or more. 10 Beach Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. 727-209-2299. ceviche.com Charann’s Takeout and delivery. Tampa original 50-year-old Philly Cheesesteak bar and grill with salads, fried and grilled foods, burgers, brunch, and more. Offering various specials posted daily on social. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 6748 Memorial Hwy., Tampa. 813-886-1199. charanns.com Cheddar’s Scratch Kitchen Family Bundles starting at $19.99, featuring heaping portions of favorite entrées, side dishes and Honey Butter Croissants. Multiple locations. cheddars.com The Cheesecake Factory Currently taking orders online or at the bakery counter. Delivery is also available through Door Dash. Multiple locations. thecheesecakefactory.com Chicken Salad Chick The southern-inspired, chicken salad concept with eight Bay area locations makes 12 made-from-scratch chicken salad flavors daily. Curbside, takeout and delivery via Uber. Multiple locations. chickensaladchick.com Chocolate Pi Takeout. From-scratch desserts and craft coffee. Biscuits, savory pies, and delivery options to be available in the coming weeks. Curbside pickup available. 5207 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-774-1971. chocolate-pi.myshopify.com Ciccio Cali Healthy and nutritious bowls, pizza and wraps with a Cali infusion. Intentionally and compassionately sourced ingredients and always made with love. New promotions to be available in the coming weeks, plus the re-launch of Taco Tuesday to go. Multiple locations. cicciocali.com Cider Press Cafe Takeout and delivery. Mini menu available. $30 takeout minimum. Buy 3 pastries, get 4th free. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available via Bite Squad. 601 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-914-7222. ciderpresscafe.com Clearwater Wine Bar & Bistro Takeout for curbside pickup. Female-owned family business offering a Mediterranean & Gourmet Mexican dishes. Full menu available with 50% off all bottles of wine and beer, and $10 bottles of sangria. 482 Poinsettia Ave., North Beach Parking Plaza, First Floor, Clearwater Beach. 727-4468805. clearwaterwinebar.com Craftsman House Takeout. Sandwiches, wraps, salads, soups, sweets, coffee and espresso bar, beer, wine and smoothies. Curbside pickup available. 2955 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-323-2787. craftsmanhousegallery.com Cru Cellars Sommeliers are picking wines for every price range, and a special menu—plus ready-set grocery bags and “survivor packs”— is available for curbside pickup or delivery. A menu is online, but not all wine inventory is on the web. 2506 S. MacDill Ave., Tampa. 813-8311117. crucellarstampa.com Currents Restaurant Takeout and delivery. Seafood, steaks, burgers and more. Full and half portions available, sides and salad.
FUZZY’S
BurgerFi Takeout and delivery. Hormone-free Angus beef burgers, hand-cut fries and doublebattered onion rings, Wagyu Beef hot dogs with all the fixings, and the all-natural Fi’ed or grilled chicken sandwiches. Free reduced delivery and first order discounts available. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. Multiple locations. burgerfi.com Bula Kavananda Takeout and delivery. Serving ultra-high quality coffee, teas and botanical beverages. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 5803 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-444-5571. bulanation.com Byblos Curbside carryout, 25% off all menu items when using curbside carryout, no coupon or code required. You can also order delivery through UberEats, Grubhub and DoorDash. 2832 S. MacDill Ave, Tampa. 813-805-7977. byblostampa.com The C House Takeout and delivery. Continuing to offer champagne, charcuterie, cheesecake, and other consciously-crafted goods that all start with the letter ‘C’. Curbside pickup available. 6005 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-488-4813. thechouse.com Cafe Dufrain Takeout. Purchase $50 in take out and receive a $10 gift card good for all three HI Restaurant Group establishments: Cafe Dufrain, Watervue Grille and Cry Baby Cafe all on Harbour Island. 707 Harbour Post Dr., Tampa. 813-275-9701. cafedufrain.com Cafe Hey Take out. 15% off of call-in take out orders over $50. Curbside pickup available. 1540 N. Franklin St., Tampa. 813-221-5150. cafehey.com The Capital Grille Offering a Butcher Shoppe selection of uncooked steaks, hand-carved by its in-house butcher and packaged with housemade seasoning and steak butter to be prepared at home. 2223 N. Westshore Blvd., Tampa. 813830-8433. thecapitalgrille.com Capital Tacos Nationally-ranked, award-winning Tex Mex featuring tacos, burritos, bowls, nachos and salads. Offering a limited, but still large menu with well over 100+ choices, plus Create-A-Capital-Bars (make at home taco bars). Multiple locations. capitaltacos.com Cask Social Kitchen Takeout and delivery. Special menu available. Kids eat free with purchase of each adult meal on orders placed directly with the restaurant over the phone. Other eligible offers include 20% off total order (cannot be combined with other offers). Delivery available through DoorDash and GrubHub. Curbside pickup available. 208 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-251-0051. casksocial.com Cass St. Deli The NoHo, New York-style deli was already fighting construction in front of its doors, but the crew led by chef Suzanne Crouch keeps soldiering on with a bevy of short-distance delivery and curbside options including meals for two, the family, vegans and even snack packs. Call from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 1331 W. Cass St., Tampa. 813-609-6316. cassstreetdeli.com Ceviche Takeout. All cocktails and sangria
FUZZY FEELING: Your support of Fuzzy’s Taco Shop means it cam help first responsers. Available Monday through Saturday 4 p.m to 8 p.m. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 200 E. Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-5377. currents-tarpon.com Daily Eats Takeout and delivery. Bottled mimosas for $6.50. Plus, food menu available, and 50% off for first responders. 901 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-868-3335. ilovedailyeats.com Datz Serving takeout and delivery. Quarantine Meal Kits at both the Tampa and St. Pete locations. Vegan options available. Plus, Old Fashioneds, margaritas, and frosés to go, and build-at-home cocktail kits: $24 for class mimosa, which includes OJ and a bottle of sparkling Rey de Copas, and $40 for our ever-famous Prickly Pear mimosa, which includes OJ, a bottle of sparkling Rey de Copas, Prickly Pear cactus candy, and Prickly Pear syrup. Curbside pickup available. Use code HERE4U to receive 15% off your order. Multiple locations. datz4foodies.com Deck Pizza Takeout and delivery. 2202 W. Platt St., Tampa. 813-375-0753. deck-pizza.com Dough Takeout and delivery. Freshly made doughnuts from the comfort of your own couch, plus over-the-top cupcakes, cupcakes, buckeyes, brownies, and more. Coffee and ice cream available to go too. Add a toilet paper cake to your order for $30 for some laughs, or an Easter Bunny ear cupcake to celebrate the upcoming holiday from home. Use code HERE4U to receive 15% off your pickup order. 2602 S. MacDill Ave., Tampa. 813-902-1979 bestdoughnuts.com Dr. BBQ Takeout and delivery. Dr. BBQ is still out here smokin’ butts and makin’ cornbread.
Quarantine Date Night Kits available for $70, featuring one bottle of Nieto Senetiner Malbec, one wedge salad, shareable Hatch Chile Mac n’ Cheese, 4oz. pork brisket, 4oz. beef brisket, and one slice of peanut butter pie. Plus, curbside booze available: beer, wine, and cocktails to go. Use code HERE4U to receive 15% off your pickup order. 1101 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-443-7227. drbbqs.com Dunedin Brewery Good news, Pinellas, you can still get some of the best wings in the county, along with tallboys, 32 oz. crowlers and assorted 16 oz. singles when you call-in and pickup at this small town staple. No walk up ordering at all. 37 Douglas Ave, Dunedin. 727-736-0606. dunedinbrewery.com Dunedin Smokehouse Takeout and delivery. Catering and beer and wine package sales available. Delivery via UberEats. Open 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days. 100% of tips received will be given to the staff out of work. 471 Main St., Dunedin. 727-736-2227. thedunedinsmokehouse.com Eddie V’s Takeout and delivery. Enjoy the Eddie V’s experience at your home with a new takeout menu, featuring Eddie V’s favorites and familystyle dinners. Also available is a selection of uncooked signature cuts of steak hand-carved and packaged with Eddie V’s signature steak seasoning prepared as you wish. Free delivery. 4400 W. Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa. 813-877-7290. eddiev.com Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café This Seminole Heights staple is slangin’ food, drink and booze. Delivery is available via the Heights Citizen
FUZZY’S
727-826-0198. thefloribbean.com Fresco’s Waterfront Bistro Takeout and delivery. 25% off pickup now through April 5th. Plus, buy one entree, get a free dessert, and spend $30, get a free bottle of champagne. 300 2nd Ave. NE, Saint Petersburg. 727-894-4429. frescoswaterfront.com Fresh Kitchen Takeout and delivery. Familysized (serves 8) meal packages, plus beer and wine to go. 50% off for first responders. 1350 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-280-0515. eatfreshkitchen.com Fuzzy’s Tacos Margaritas, plus taco and fajitas packs and more, are available at all Fuzzy’s locations, which are all participating in a “1 taco at a time” initiative that’s fed hundreds of emergency and primary care medical workers in the Bay area. Multiple locations. fuzzystacoshop.olo.com Gino’s NY Style Pizza Takeout and delivery. Two slices and a drink for $6. Curbside pickup available. 3394 Tampa Rd., Palm Harbor. 727789-6883. ginosnystyle.com Golden Dinosaurs Takeout and delivery. Vegan eats and pantry items available, plus DIY Donut boxes and $8 for mimosa pints. 2930 Beach Blvd. S., Gulfport. 727-873-6901. goldendinosaurs.com Gourmet Pizza Company Takeout and delivery. Free Breadsticks with any 16” pizza, $5 off $30 or more, $10 off $65 or more, $2 off any two 10” pizzas (excludes gluten-free crusts). Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 610 S. Armenia Ave., Tampa. 813-258-1999. gourmetpizza-company.com Green Lemon Takeout and delivery. Turn your self-quarantine into an at-home fiesta with $10,
24-oz. on the rocks margaritas and $45 half gallon margaritas to go. Plus, food menu available, and 50% off for first responders. 915 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-868-5463. eatgreenlemon.com Grimaldi’s Meal deals for two or four people, plus 50% off bottled wine is available at Grimaldi’s locations coast-to-coast. In addition to carry out, Grimaldi’s is open for delivery through DoorDash, Uber Eats and GrubHub. grimaldispizzeria.com Hawkers The Asian street food chain is still open for delivery and takeout, serving a limited menu during new, temporary, hours. 1235 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-521-7253. eathawkers.com Ichicoro Ramen Takeout and delivery. Ramen kits available for delivery through Saltblock Hospitality. 5229 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813517-9989. ichicororamen.com The Independent In Seminole Heights, the Indie is slinging a limited menu to help keep staff afloat. The St. Petersburg bar remains closed. 5016 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-341-4883. independentbartampa.com Irish 31 Pub House & Eatery Takeout menu for delivery via UberEats or takeout for curbside pickup. Neighborhood Market menu available with staples such as bread, cheese and of course, toilet paper. Beer, wine, and liquor to-go available for a limited time. Multiple locations. irish31.com Jackson’s Bistro, Bar & Sushi “Fast Jack’s” takeout menu and premade protein bowls, salads, burgers, and chicken sandwiches available. Curbside pickup available. 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days. 601 S. Harbour Island Blvd., Tampa.
813-277-0112. jacksonsbistro.com James Joyce Irish Pub & Eatery Takeout and delivery. Full menu and meal prep offered daily from 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. 1724 E. 8th Ave., Tampa. 813-247-1896. jamesjoyceybor.square.site Jason’s Deli Takeout and delivery. Fast casual delicatessen restaurant. Plus, catering, box lunches, family meals, meat and cheese by the pound, and loaves of bread. Curbside pickup available. 25801 U.S. Hwy. 19 N., Clearwater. 727-793-0446. jasonsdeli.com Johnny Rocket’s Guests can make call-ahead orders by calling 813-926-6335 and have food brought out curbside near cinema entrance or have Johnny Rocket’s delivered by using a third-party service apps including uberEats, DoorDash Postmates and Grub Hub. Multiple locations. johnnyrockets.com Kaleisia Tea Lounge Takeout. Vegan, vegetarianfriendly, fresh brewed teas, smoothies and coffee. Curbside pickup available. 1441 E. Fletcher Ave., Ste. 101, Tampa. 813-977-8266. thetealounge.com Kat Dunn Williams A mini-menu of sweet baked things, including doorstep delivery. facebook. com/kdunn55 King State On March 27, the Tampa Heights coffee shop and hangout 86’s walk-in order. Everything must now be ordered by phone or online. The team will text when the order—coffee, food, bags of coffee, beer, wine and more—is ready. In recent week’s the crew has tossed out all kinds of specials, including pizza. 520 E. Floribraska Ave., Tampa. 813-221-2100. kingstate.com
MELISSA SANTELL
Bicycle Brigade, UberEats and GrubHub. A GoFundMe has also been set up to help staff. 5119 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-234-1000. ellasfolkartcafe.com Empamamas Stephanie Swanz, the matriarch of Armature Works’ Empamamas, was dealt a blow when the Tampa Heights food hall shut down amid coronavirus concerns. Her friend, Joe Dodd of King of the Coop, stepped up to offer part of his kitchen, however, and now the ‘mama is slinging empanadas on Ubereats. Empress Tearoom Takeout and delivery. Tearoom restaurant and bistro. Specials available online. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 12942 N. Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. 813-988-9027. empresstearoom.com Epicurean From Tues.-Sun, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., the hotel is becoming a curbside and pickup market with “several house-made specialties on the menu, including chicken and turkey sausage, smoked fish dip and tuna, pasta and potato salads,” plus made-from-scratch sauces and spices, steaks, chicken wings, crab meat, cheese, frozen and fresh veggies and more. Even dry goods like toilet paper, soap and sanitizers will also be sold based on availability. Epicurean’s extensive beer, wine, spirits and beverage list is also available, as well as house-made concoctions, like the Epic Whiskey Blend, Epic Bloody Mary mix and Port Barrel Reposado Corazon Tequila. Guests are asked to review the menu online and call in their orders; a specific pickup time will be given, upon arrival for pick-up, guests will call again and a gloved employee will bring the order to the car. 1207 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-999-8700 epicureanhotel.com/ gourmetmarket The Fat Rabbit Pub Upscale American food available for takeout. 15% off for first responders and hospitality. Curbside pickup available. 16029 Tampa Palms Blvd. W., Tampa. 813-252-3004. thefatrabbitpub.com Flames Indian Cuisine Takeout and delivery. 15% off all orders. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2601 S. MacDill Ave, Tampa. 813-252-8069. flamestampa.com Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar Takeout. $40 off your order with $100 minimum purchase through April 11th. Pick up a 3-course dinner for two to enjoy at home: 35-ounce Prime Tomahawk paired with two salads, two sides and two desserts. Available for carry out. Mention CL to redeem. 4322 W. Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa. 813-874-9463. flemingssteakhouse.com Flippers Pizzeria Takeout and delivery. Hospitality Family Discount: 50% off 16” and 13” pizzas for hotels, restaurant, convention and attraction employees. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 1054 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-822-9866. flipperspizzeria.com The Floribbean Eatery and Catering Takeout and delivery. Counter service Caribbean fusion restaurant with made-from-scratch, fresh food. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2410 Central Ave., St Petersburg.
PSO-MANY CHOICES: Psomi’s Greek desserts can be yours at home, but the restaurant is taking special requests, too.
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with any purchase of $25 or more. 332 Beach Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. 727-869-6160. themoonunderwater.com Mott & Hester Deli Co. Takeout. Sandwiches like po’boys, muffalettas, meatball, and various deli sandwiches, plus fresh pasta made in-house and sauces, lasagna, and more. Casseroles, chickens, mac & cheese, and dirty rice also available for curbside pickup. 1155 S. Dale Mabry Hwy., No. 10, Tampa. 813-289-9758. mottandhesterdeli.com Mr. Dunderbak’s Biergarten Takeout. All meals and beer served in single use containers. Only credit cards will be accepted. 11:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. 7 days. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-977-4104. dunderbaks.com Nature’s Food Patch Market & Café Takeout for deli and delivery for grocery via Instacart. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. Both locations are also offering senior hours in addition to sandwiches, smoothies, juices and other counter service items all available if you call ahead. Multiple locations. naturesfoodpatch.com New World Brewery The recently-reopened live music and beer hub takes to-go orders on food and booze, which means you can have the world famous New World pizzas (our favorites are the Ground Control and “Dark Side Of the Moon”) along with chef Mike’s mac ‘n’ cheese and more in the comfort of home. 810 E. Skagway Ave., Tampa. 813-304-0460. newworldtampa.com New York New York Pizza Takeout and delivery. Plus, new CBD slices and pies at Ybor City location, infused with Kore Organic CBD. Multiple locations. nynypizzeria.com Noble Crust St. Pete Takeout and delivery. Complimentary gnocchi with takeout and UberEats (limited time offer). On Sundays from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., complimentary bottle of champagne and OJ with takeout purchase of $25 or more (while supplies last). 50% off all bottles of wine. Additional offers to come. 8300 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-329-6041. noble-crust.com Oggi Italian Cafe and Wine Bar Takeout and delivery. Free golf cart delivery to Davis Islands residents. Free delivery to all others via UberEats. 236 E. Davis Blvd., Tampa. 813252-7778. oggiitalian.com Old Key West Bar and Grill Takeout and delivery. Various specials available paired with drinks (Whie Claw!). Pork sandwich + fries + a beer for $10, pork dinner for two with mac & cheese + okra + coleslaw + six-pack of beer for $35, cobb salad + a White Claw for $12, 10 wings and a six pack of beer for $20, 20 wings + a bottle of Skyy vodka for $35, and more. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2451 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-0969. oldkeywestbarandgrill.com Oldsmar Smokin BBQ Takeout and delivery. Pork, ribs, chicken, and brisket. Daily specials available via Facebook. 120 Commerce Blvd., Ste. 1, Oldsmar. 813-328-4469. Oldsmar Smokin BBQ on Facebook Olive Garden Takeout and delivery. Starting at
MELISSA SANTELL
Kojaks House of Ribs Takeout. Family-run barbecue. 2808 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813837-3774. kojaksbbq.net La Segunda Bakery and Cafe Takeout and delivery. Breakfast and lunch, coffee, pastries, Cuban bread and a variety of other breads to go! 25% off all online orders with code: community. 4015 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. 813-540-9119. lasegundabakery.com Lee’s Grocery Takeout. Stone baked pizza, wings and craft beer. 2210 N. Central Ave., Tampa. 813-374-0179. leesgrocery.com Little Greek The fast-casual Greek restaurant with an American influence will focus on takeout, curbside service and delivery plus a new grocery element. Multiple locations. littlegreekfreshgrill.com LongHorn Steakhouse Family Meal Deals starting at $9 per person for a family of four, allowing families to choose a shareable entrée, hand-chopped salad and four sides. Guests can also order fresh steak cuts from the LongHorn Steak Shop, accompanied by LongHorn’s bold proprietary seasoning and instructions from LongHorn’s expert Grill Masters on how guests can prepare them at home. Multiple locations. longhornsteakhouse.com Madison Avenue Pizza Takeout and delivery. Specials available online. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2660 Bayshore Blvd., Dunedin. 727-754-6144. madisonavepizza.com Magdalena’s Pizzeria Takeout and delivery. Daily Italian offerings and Filipino, Spanish, Italian fusion on weekends. $25.99 for large cheese pizza, wings, garlic knots and 2-liter of soda. 2313 W. Linebaugh Ave., Tampa. 813-2527158. magdalenapizzeriafl.com Malios Prime Steakhouse Takeout and delivery. Steakhouse and seafood. Curbside pickup available. 400 N. Ashely Dr., Tampa. 813-223-7746. maliosprime.com Maple Street Biscuit Company Takeout and delivery. Curbside pickup available. 662 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 757-353-0944. maplestreetbiscuits.co Meat Market Takeout and delivery. 15% off any order of $50 or more. Alcohol and wine for purchase available for takeout. Curbside pickup available. 1606 W. Snow Ave., Tampa. 813-2801113. meatmarket.net Mermaid Tavern Takeout and delivery. Farmto-table pub-style with one of Tampa’s best craft beer and wine lists. Full package license means bottles, cans and growlers to go. Available until midnight daily. Delivery via UberEats. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 6719 N. Nebraska Ave, Tampa. 813-238-5618. mermaidtaverntampa.com Mickey’s Subs Takeout subs and sandwiches. $5 6 inch and $10 12 inch subs. 4411 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa. 813-644-4026. mickeyssubs.com Moon Under Water Limited take out menu available. All cocktails available to go, $3 bottled and canned beer, and a free quart (32 ounce) of beer
TAKEOUT ROCCA-S: Tampa Heights’ best Italian comes to your home. $12.99, enjoy two nights of comfort food with Buy One, Take One featuring featuring guests classic favorites like Chicken Parmigiana, Fettuccine Alfredo, Lasagna, Baked Ziti, Cheese Ravioli and Spaghetti with Meat Sauce. Free delivery for orders over $40. Multiple locations. olivegarden.com Outback Steakhouse Takeout and delivery. Free delivery through April 30th. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 3403 Henderson Blvd., Tampa. 813-875-4329. outback.com Pacific Counter Takeout and delivery. Mainland mix of coastal classics in the form of sushi bowls and sushi burritos. 660 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-440-7008. pacificcounter.com Paul’s Chicago Pizza Takeout and curbside pickup available. 11002 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-346-5180. paulschicagopizza.com Parlor House Bistro Take out. 15% off entire menu, plus beer, wine and cocktails to go. 1757 Main St., Dunedin. 727-754-3978. parlorhousebistro.com PDQ All PDQ locations remain open for drivethru, takeout, and third party delivery. Extended BOGO offer on chicken tender platters from 4 p.m. until close in drive-thru only through March 30th. Specific restaurant updates and offerings can be found online. Multiple locations. eatpdq.com Pete’s General Takeout and delivery. Fresh baked bagels, breads and pastries. $1 bagels for industry folks. 495 7th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-440-6183. petesgeneral.com
Poke Fish Takeout and delivery. Bowls made with organic brown rice, free range chicken, salmon, carrots, and organic chicken broth. Multiple locations. eatpokefish.com Pop n Sons Take out. Delicious burgers and breakfast any time of day. Plus, free roll of toilet paper with your carry out order (normally bad advertising, but they figured you’d need a laugh). 4812 N. Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. 813875-9005. popnsons.com Psomi Pre-orders of baked goods, dips, breads, etc. Accepting special requests. Curbside pickup and e-gift cards available. 701 N. Howard Ave., Tampa. 818-415-5555. eatpsomi.com Puff n Stuff Family meals—including Easter selections—plus individual boxed lunches, desserts, buffets, platters and more delivered to your door with no contact. 813-712-7833. puffnstuff.com The Restorative Temporarily operating as “The Temporary” with a small take out menu with menu changes weekly. The first week’s menu was Italian, this week’s is Japanese, and next week’s is French. Wine and beer available for togo. 420 Patricia Ave., Dunedin. 727-223-1705. restorativerestaurant.com Rocca Limited takeout menu of ready-to-eat items, including lasagna, fresh mozzarella, and housemade sourdough and focaccia, plus pantry items to prepare at-home including freshly extruded pastas, sauces, and whole loaves of bread. Their entire wine list is also available curbside. 323 W. Palm Ave., Tampa. 813-9065445. roccatampa.com
MELISSA SANTELL
Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2601 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-9823. urbanbrewandbbq.com World of Beer Takeout and delivery. 50% for all first responders. UberEats deliveries, spend $20 and get a free German Pretzel. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 5311 Avion Park Dr., Tampa. 813-930-5499. worldofbeer.com Vino E Pasta Takeout and delivery. Southern Italian cuisine homemade pastas and a wide selection of wine. Half off wine bottles, $6.95 lunch specials, call in and pick up your order and receive 15% off your bill (delivery excluded). Delivery available via UberEats, DoorDash and GrubHub. Curbside pickup available. 3603 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-902-8466. vinoepasta.net WeVegan Eats The Vegan line of snacks has always been available via various outlets, and it continues to distribute good to its partners. weveganeats.com Whatever Pops & Bowls Takeout and delivery. Grilled cheeses, açaí bowls, housemade gelato and gourmet ice pops. Two pints of gelato for $10, BOGO ice pops and a grilled cheese special available. Delivery via UberEats. Curbside pickup available. 5127 N. Florida Ave, Tampa. 813-559-7677. whateverpops.com The Wheelhouse Takeout and delivery. Full menu available daily 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Hosting a takeout bingo game where you can fill your card to win prizes. Special meal deals for $29, 4 pack of tallboy beer for $10, plus mason jars of any
craft ale, wine or sangria only $7 (includes jar), and Taco Tuesday 3 tacos for $5. 7220 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-0589. thewheelhousestpete.com Whiskey Cake Takeout. Craft cocktails and farmfresh comfort food. Meal kits and drink packages to-go. Call to reserve. 2223 N. Westshore Blvd., B207, Tampa. 813-535-9955. whiskeycake.com WingHouse Takeout and delivery. $9.99 for 10 wings and fries, $19.99 for 10 wings, fries, and a domestic 6-pack. 3712 W. Columbus Dr., Tampa. 813-428-7157. winghouse.com Yeoman’s Cask & Lion Takeout. 25% off for medical professionals, first responders, and hospitality/service industry workers. $34.99 for two brunch items, bottle of bubbly and OJ. Takeout beer promotion with food purchase: domestic singles $3.50, imports 4-pack $12, craft singles $4.50 or 4-pack $15. 202 N. Morgan St., Tampa. 813-224-9367. yeomanscaskandlion.com Your Pie Pizza, pasta and more made available curbside or via delivery. Multiple locations. yourpie.com Zukku Zukku-Tori is a new to-go and delivery concept, Zukku-Tori, located from Michael Stewart’s 717 South Restaurant on 717 S. Howard. Order ahead online via ZukkuSushi.com and pick up at 717 S. Howard Ave or select delivery to have your meal delivered. Also available for pickup and via UberEats and DoorDash. 717 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-250-1661. zukkusushi.com
UBER EATS
TAKEOUT ROCCA-S: Tampa Heights’ best Italian comes to your home.
Rococo Steak Family-style and a la carte takeout options available. All cocktails available to-go (i.e. Cucumber Roe, Watermelon Spritz). 25% off all takeout bottles of wine. 655 2nd Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-822-0999. rococosteak.com Rooster Re-dux Three Proper House Group restaurants—including Rooster & the Till, Nebraska Mini-Mart and Gallito—are operating as one takeout operation out of Rooster & the Till at Seminole Heights. 6500 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-374-8940. roosternadthetill. com Russo’s NY Pizzeria Takeout and delivery. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 727-648-4304. nypizzeria.com Saltblock Catering Offering family-style meals and grocery essentials delivered right to your door, including ingredients and menu items from local restaurants and vendors. Place your meal delivery orders by 11:59 p.m. on Monday for deliveries starting on Wednesday. New menus created weekly. saltblockhospitality.com Scone Age Bakery & Cafe Takeout and delivery. Organic and 100% clean, savory baked goods. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 332 Skinner Blvd., Dunedin. 727-216-3248. sconeagecafe.com Seasons 52 Mention the Neighbor to Neighbor offer when you call to receive 20% off. 204 N. Westshore Blvd., Tampa. 813-286-1152. seasons52.com Sekushi on the Beach Takeout and delivery. Sushi, dumplings and noodles. 524 Mandalay Ave., Clearwater. sekushionthebeach.com Señor Subs & Gyros Takeout and delivery. Subs, gyros, tacos, wings and more. 1364 Cleveland St., Clearwater. 727-953-3985. senorsubs.com Shrimp Boat Grille Valrico doesn’t touch the ocean, but Shrimp Boat brought it to the ‘burbs. It’s serving takeout Wed.-Sun. From 4 p.m.-9 p.m. Daily specials available via Facebook. 1020 Bloomingdale Ave., Valrico. 813-571-5858. shrimpboatgrille.com Shuffle Tampa Heights’ favorite vagina-forward bar puts a six-foot pole in its hand for carryout and delivery, including Sunday’s Wu-Tang & Biscuits brunch. 2612 N. Tampa St., Tampa. 813-450-3797. tampashuffle.com Silver Ring Cafe Takeout and delivery. Traditional Cuban sandwiches, devil crabs, stuffed potatoes, soups, sweet tea. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 7419 U.S. Hwy. 301 S., Riverview. 813-677-1487. Silver Ring Café on Facebook Sloppy Joe’s on the Beach Takeout. Full menu of American and Caribbean themed food along with full bar service. Curbside pickup available. Access from Gulf Boulevard or Treasure Island Beach Trail. 10650 Gulf Blvd., Treasure Island. 727-367-1600. sloppyjoesonthebeach.com Slyce Pizza Bar Takeout and delivery. Multiple locations. slycepizzabar.com Smallcakes New Tampa Takeout and delivery. Offering 12 signature gourmet cupcakes baked fresh daily and cupcake-infused ice cream. 17010
Palm Pointe Dr., Tampa. 813-442-4938. smallcakescupcakery.com SoHo Sushi Take out. 20% off all takeout, including bottled beer, wine and sake. Curbside pickup available. 3218 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. 813873-7646. sohosushi.com Strandhill Public Takeout. Noon to 9 p.m. 7 days. Offering the following discounts: 10% discount on all pick-up orders. 15% discount for all military personnel with valid I.D. 10288 Cswy. Blvd., Tampa. 813-442-7080. strandhillpublic.com The Stuffed Mushroom Takeout. Caterer now serving takeout meals ready- to-freeze or pop in the oven. Available Monday through Friday. Daily menus listed online. Order by 2 p.m., pick up between 2:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 825 Main St., Safety Harbor. 727-726-8686. thestuffedmyshroom.com Sweet Soul Takeout and delivery. 50% off for first responders. 1101 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-575-7100. Sweet Soul SoHo on Facebook Taco Bus The Bay area taco chain is still keeping it Chido and offering takeout and delivery in addition to bus loads of essentials like frozen beef, shrimp, chicken breast, bread, toilet paper and paper towels. Online, phone, and food delivery services available. Multiple locations. taco-bus.com Taco Dirty Takeout and delivery. Family-sized (serves 8) meal packages, plus beer and wine to go. 50% off for first responders. 2221 W. Platt St., Tampa. 813-314-7900. tacodirty.com Taquitos Mexican Takeout and delivery. One free meal per customer to those out of work and in need (until further notice). Free churros on orders of $25 or more. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 9617 Bay Pines Blvd., St. Petersburg. 727-256-1617. taquitosmex.com TBD@301 Takeout and delivery. Handcrafted tea beverages paired with Filipino food and local desserts. Kava, kratom and boba teas available. Family meals available. 5% discount on your first online delivery. 3840 US Hwy. 301 S., Riverview. 813-420-0013. tbdcafe.com Thailand Restaurant Takeout and delivery. Freshly cooked-to-order foods ranging from signature traditional Thai dishes like the Thaistyle Beef Salad, Pahd Thai, curry duck, and spicy Thai-style basil. 5252 S. Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. 813-837-1793. thailandtampa.com TooJay’s The chain of Jewish delis is not only selling items from its menu for takeout or delivery, but also offering grocery options. What’s more is that 10% of gift card sales go to furloughed staff. Multiple locations. toojays.com Toula’s Trailside Cafe Takeout and delivery. Breakfast and lunch available Tues.-Thurs. Menu available online. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 11 S. Safford Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-939-2403. toulastrailsidecafe.com URBAN Brew & BBQ Takeout and delivery. Scratch-made BBQ and southern food with a heavy emphasis on bourbon and craft beer.
Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2601 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-9823. urbanbrewandbbq.com World of Beer Takeout and delivery. 50% for all first responders. UberEats deliveries, spend $20 and get a free German Pretzel. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 5311 Avion Park Dr., Tampa. 813-930-5499. worldofbeer.com Vino E Pasta Takeout and delivery. Southern Italian cuisine homemade pastas and a wide selection of wine. Half off wine bottles, $6.95 lunch specials, call in and pick up your order and receive 15% off your bill (delivery excluded). Delivery available via UberEats, DoorDash and GrubHub. Curbside pickup available. 3603 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-902-8466. vinoepasta.net WeVegan Eats The Vegan line of snacks has always been available via various outlets, and it continues to distribute good to its partners. weveganeats.com Whatever Pops & Bowls Takeout and delivery. Grilled cheeses, açaí bowls, housemade gelato and gourmet ice pops. Two pints of gelato for $10, BOGO ice pops and a grilled cheese special available. Delivery via UberEats. Curbside pickup available. 5127 N. Florida Ave, Tampa. 813-559-7677. whateverpops.com The Wheelhouse Takeout and delivery. Full menu available daily 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Hosting a takeout bingo game where you can fill your card to win prizes. Special meal deals for $29, 4 pack of tallboy beer for $10, plus mason jars of any
craft ale, wine or sangria only $7 (includes jar), and Taco Tuesday 3 tacos for $5. 7220 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-0589. thewheelhousestpete.com Whiskey Cake Takeout. Craft cocktails and farmfresh comfort food. Meal kits and drink packages to-go. Call to reserve. 2223 N. Westshore Blvd., B207, Tampa. 813-535-9955. whiskeycake.com WingHouse Takeout and delivery. $9.99 for 10 wings and fries, $19.99 for 10 wings, fries, and a domestic 6-pack. 3712 W. Columbus Dr., Tampa. 813-428-7157. winghouse.com Yeoman’s Cask & Lion Takeout. 25% off for medical professionals, first responders, and hospitality/service industry workers. $34.99 for two brunch items, bottle of bubbly and OJ. Takeout beer promotion with food purchase: domestic singles $3.50, imports 4-pack $12, craft singles $4.50 or 4-pack $15. 202 N. Morgan St., Tampa. 813-224-9367. yeomanscaskandlion.com Your Pie Pizza, pasta and more made available curbside or via delivery. Multiple locations. yourpie.com Zukku Zukku-Tori is a new to-go and delivery concept, Zukku-Tori, located from Michael Stewart’s 717 South Restaurant on 717 S. Howard. Order ahead online via ZukkuSushi.com and pick up at 717 S. Howard Ave or select delivery to have your meal delivered. Also available for pickup and via UberEats and DoorDash. 717 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-250-1661. zukkusushi.com
UBER EATS
Palm Pointe Dr., Tampa. 813-442-4938. smallcakescupcakery.com SoHo Sushi Take out. 20% off all takeout, including bottled beer, wine and sake. Curbside pickup available. 3218 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. 813873-7646. sohosushi.com Strandhill Public Takeout. Noon to 9 p.m. 7 days. Offering the following discounts: 10% discount on all pick-up orders. 15% discount for all military personnel with valid I.D. 10288 Cswy. Blvd., Tampa. 813-442-7080. strandhillpublic.com The Stuffed Mushroom Takeout. Caterer now serving takeout meals ready- to-freeze or pop in the oven. Available Monday through Friday. Daily menus listed online. Order by 2 p.m., pick up between 2:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 825 Main St., Safety Harbor. 727-726-8686. thestuffedmyshroom.com Sweet Soul Takeout and delivery. 50% off for first responders. 1101 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. 813-575-7100. Sweet Soul SoHo on Facebook Taco Bus The Bay area taco chain is still keeping it Chido and offering takeout and delivery in addition to bus loads of essentials like frozen beef, shrimp, chicken breast, bread, toilet paper and paper towels. Online, phone, and food delivery services available. Multiple locations. taco-bus.com Taco Dirty Takeout and delivery. Family-sized (serves 8) meal packages, plus beer and wine to go. 50% off for first responders. 2221 W. Platt St., Tampa. 813-314-7900. tacodirty.com Taquitos Mexican Takeout and delivery. One free meal per customer to those out of work and in need (until further notice). Free churros on orders of $25 or more. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 9617 Bay Pines Blvd., St. Petersburg. 727-256-1617. taquitosmex.com TBD@301 Takeout and delivery. Handcrafted tea beverages paired with Filipino food and local desserts. Kava, kratom and boba teas available. Family meals available. 5% discount on your first online delivery. 3840 US Hwy. 301 S., Riverview. 813-420-0013. tbdcafe.com Thailand Restaurant Takeout and delivery. Freshly cooked-to-order foods ranging from signature traditional Thai dishes like the Thaistyle Beef Salad, Pahd Thai, curry duck, and spicy Thai-style basil. 5252 S. Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. 813-837-1793. thailandtampa.com TooJay’s The chain of Jewish delis is not only selling items from its menu for takeout or delivery, but also offering grocery options. What’s more is that 10% of gift card sales go to furloughed staff. Multiple locations. toojays.com Toula’s Trailside Cafe Takeout and delivery. Breakfast and lunch available Tues.-Thurs. Menu available online. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 11 S. Safford Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-939-2403. toulastrailsidecafe.com URBAN Brew & BBQ Takeout and delivery. Scratch-made BBQ and southern food with a heavy emphasis on bourbon and craft beer.
MELISSA SANTELL
Rococo Steak Family-style and a la carte takeout options available. All cocktails available to-go (i.e. Cucumber Roe, Watermelon Spritz). 25% off all takeout bottles of wine. 655 2nd Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-822-0999. rococosteak.com Rooster Re-dux Three Proper House Group restaurants—including Rooster & the Till, Nebraska Mini-Mart and Gallito—are operating as one takeout operation out of Rooster & the Till at Seminole Heights. 6500 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-374-8940. roosternadthetill. com Russo’s NY Pizzeria Takeout and delivery. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 727-648-4304. nypizzeria.com Saltblock Catering Offering family-style meals and grocery essentials delivered right to your door, including ingredients and menu items from local restaurants and vendors. Place your meal delivery orders by 11:59 p.m. on Monday for deliveries starting on Wednesday. New menus created weekly. saltblockhospitality.com Scone Age Bakery & Cafe Takeout and delivery. Organic and 100% clean, savory baked goods. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 332 Skinner Blvd., Dunedin. 727-216-3248. sconeagecafe.com Seasons 52 Mention the Neighbor to Neighbor offer when you call to receive 20% off. 204 N. Westshore Blvd., Tampa. 813-286-1152. seasons52.com Sekushi on the Beach Takeout and delivery. Sushi, dumplings and noodles. 524 Mandalay Ave., Clearwater. sekushionthebeach.com Señor Subs & Gyros Takeout and delivery. Subs, gyros, tacos, wings and more. 1364 Cleveland St., Clearwater. 727-953-3985. senorsubs.com Shrimp Boat Grille Valrico doesn’t touch the ocean, but Shrimp Boat brought it to the ‘burbs. It’s serving takeout Wed.-Sun. From 4 p.m.-9 p.m. Daily specials available via Facebook. 1020 Bloomingdale Ave., Valrico. 813-571-5858. shrimpboatgrille.com Shuffle Tampa Heights’ favorite vagina-forward bar puts a six-foot pole in its hand for carryout and delivery, including Sunday’s Wu-Tang & Biscuits brunch. 2612 N. Tampa St., Tampa. 813-450-3797. tampashuffle.com Silver Ring Cafe Takeout and delivery. Traditional Cuban sandwiches, devil crabs, stuffed potatoes, soups, sweet tea. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 7419 U.S. Hwy. 301 S., Riverview. 813-677-1487. Silver Ring Café on Facebook Sloppy Joe’s on the Beach Takeout. Full menu of American and Caribbean themed food along with full bar service. Curbside pickup available. Access from Gulf Boulevard or Treasure Island Beach Trail. 10650 Gulf Blvd., Treasure Island. 727-367-1600. sloppyjoesonthebeach.com Slyce Pizza Bar Takeout and delivery. Multiple locations. slycepizzabar.com Smallcakes New Tampa Takeout and delivery. Offering 12 signature gourmet cupcakes baked fresh daily and cupcake-infused ice cream. 17010
A-TO-ZUKKU: Zukku’s sushi is just part of Tampa’s expanded takeout option.
A-TO-ZUKKU: Zukku’s sushi is just part of Tampa’s expanded takeout option.
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 23
CARRY-OUT, CURBSIDE & CALL AHEAD LUNCH SNACK PACKS $7 DINNER FOR 2 FOR $52 SMALL TO LARGE PLATTERS 813.649.8422 WEDNESDAY-SUNDAY LUNCH 11AM-3PM DINNER 4PM-10PM 1930 E. 7TH AVE. TAMPA, FL. 33605
24 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
911 Central Ave. | St. Petersburg, FL | 33705
buyaramen.com | 727.202.7010
To-go brews and cocktails to get you through the days. By Alexis Chamberlain and Ray Roa
T
imes are weird, and they are hard, especially for Tampa Bay bartenders. There’s a page that’ll let you tip a random local drinkslinger every time you take a sip at home (find the link on our website). Here are some of the best places to get a cocktail packaged for you to enjoy at the house. See more via cltampa.com/ food. Did we miss your spot? Visit cltampa.com/ emergencylistings to let us know. The Hub Bar Specials on fancy whiskey sours and other drinks are available on certain days at this downtown Tampa dive, but the signature “Hub pour”—which staff translates to “four drinks at the Hub, eight drinks everywhere else”—will be the hallmark to anyone buying $20 quarts of Hub margaritas or bloody marys. 719 N. Franklin St., Tampa. (813) 229-1553. The Hub Bar on Facebook Noble Crust The St. Petersburg location is still open and brunching thanks to the free bottle of sparkling wine and orange juice that comes with any Sunday order of $25 or more. The crew is also slinging $10 mason jar craft cocktails (the Brown Butter Dram, plus classics like the Manhattan and Old Fashioned) every day of the week. 8300 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-3296041. noble-crust.com Mandarin Heights The cocktails bar in Seminole Heights is packing cocktails to go, but orders must be placed by 5 p.m. on Tuesdays. A menu is available on Instagram via @ mandarinheights. 5901 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-501-9585 mandarinheights.com Miguelitos Taqueria Y Tequilas Prices on to-go skinny or premium margaritas range from $75 (one gallon) to $10 (eight ounces) at this South Tampa Mexican staple where half-gallon and 16 oz. options,, too. 2702 W Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. 813-872-5600. miguelitostampa.com Haven Enjoy SoHo sips in your skivvies thanks to drinks like the cucumber and elderflower soda. A dinner menu with apps, salad, sandwiches, plates, sides, Little Midway ice cream and the “Taste of Bern’s” section sounds like date night. 2208 W Morrison Ave., Tampa. (813) 258-2233. haventampa.com Trophy Fish Favorites (Calm Before the Storms, Pistachio Mai Tais, Salty Dogs, and Fin and Tonics) in vacuum-sealed plastic pouches complete with rosemary and candied blood orange slices garnishes. 2060 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-258-7883. trophyfishstpete.com BREWERIES + BOTTLES 1933 Pub and Grill Curbside service for growler
ASHLEY DUDNEY
Hub, bub
fills of craft beer on draft. 2245 Nursery Rd., Clearwater. (727) 532-1972. 1933pub.com Bay Cannon Beer Company & Guava Grill Takeout and delivery. Full menu available. Beer delivery available statewide. 2106 W. Main St., Tampa. 813-251-4553. baycannon.com 3 Daughters Brewing Buy one six pack, get one free. Plus, 3D is using their resources to make hand sanitizer with first priority going to hospitals and first responders. If you know of a place in need, reach out. 222 22nd St. S., St. Petersburg. 727-495-6002. 3dbrewing.com 7th Sun Seminole Heights and Dunedin locations accepting to-go sales from 3 p.m. until sunset. No cash allowed, and please follow each locations specific sanitary procedures. 7thsun.com Anclote Brew Takeout. Craft beers on tap and in cans and bottle, plus gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. Rent a growler to take home your favorite craft beer for a $12 deposit. Discounts on build-your-own six packs available. $25 gift certificates for $20 to use after May 13, 2020. Curbside pickup available. 735 Dodecanese Blvd., 50, Tarpon Springs. 727-940-2503. anclotebrew. com Book + Bottle The wine and book lounge is willing to ship, or meet customers at the door with orders. 17 6th St. N,, St. Petersburg. 727-2407448. bookandbottlestpete.com BRU Florida Growler Bar Offering plastic (disposable/recyclable) 32-ounce growlers of Florida craft beer, cider, hard seltzer, kombucha and cold brew coffee. The concept is also waiving delivery charges around Tampa. Check Bru’s Facebook for more information. 8729 Gunn Hwy., Odessa. 813-328-4721. BRU Florida Growler Bar on Facebook Cage Brewery Takeout. Any size growler filled or refilled. 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Thursday. 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. Friday through Sunday. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727201-4278. cagebrewing.com Cigar City Brewing The Spruce Street tasting room in Tampa’s Carver City neighborhood is open and serving to-go beer and food from 12 p.m.-8 p.m. Orders and payment may be taken over the phone and in-person. No growler or crowler fills. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813348-6363. cigarcitybrewing.com Coppertail Brewing Co. Takeout. Full menu available: wings, flatbreads, sandwiches, salads and more. All beer in the cooler can be taken home. Filling new growlers and crowlers. 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. 7 days. To go orders can be placed online or over the phone. Curbside pickup and contactless delivery available. 2601 E. 2nd Ave, Tampa. 813-450-1781. coppertailbrewing.com Hidden Springs Ale Works Tampa Heights’ finest brewery staff is still holding it down, slinging tall boys, bottles and crowlers to go. Online ordering available. They’ve even teamed up with some very, very far away friends—Weymouth,
DRINKS
KAMRAN-MAN: The Hub bartender Kamran Mir pours quarts of The Hub’s signature heavy drinks.
Massachusetts’ Vitamin Sea Brewery—to come up with a long distance beer collaboration: the S P A R K L I N G I S O L A T I O N double IPA, which should be available in the coming weeks. Did we mention tipping well? 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa. hiddenspringsaleworks.com LateStart Brewing The brewery inside Channelside’s Pour House offers growler fills, with a menu that’s constantly changing. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd No. 112, Tampa. 813-402-2923. latestartbrewing.com Rock Brothers Brewing Co. Get this: An anonymous donor has pledged a $10,000 match donation to the U.S. Bartenders Guild Emergency
Assistance fund for every dollar spent in this Ybor City tasting room. There are gift card specials, rare whiskeys, canned beer to go, and Aperol Spritz and Moscow Mule full bottle package kits available. Open by appointment only for pickup or delivery from 12 to 5 p.m. daily (except Sunday). Message on Facebook to place an order. 1901 N. 15th St., Tampa. 813-241-0110. rockbrothersbrewing.com TBBCo Pretty much everything—from beer to lunch, dinner and dessert—is available from the long-running Bay area brewery staple with locations in Ybor City and Westchase. 813-247-1422 tbbc.beer
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 25
A THIRST QUENCHING GOLDEN ALE JAMMED WITH LOADS FRESH STRAWBERRIES & LIME. AROMAS REMINISCENT OF FLORIDA STRAWBERRY FIELDS WITH A LIME TWIST. FLAVORS OF FRESH PICKED FLORIDA STRAWBERRIES, BUT WITH A SUBTLE ACIDIC BALANCE FROM LIME JUICE!
tbbc.beer @tbbco #beerisyourfriend 26 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
No matter where you are in the Bay area, you’re not far from unique, locally handcrafted brews. We'd call, however, to see about offerings during the coronavirus pandemic. Here’s our ever-evolving list of Bay area brewers—support them during this difficult time! 3 DAUGHTERS BREWING One of the Warehouse Arts District’s most popular hangouts, and a beautiful facility in which to drink some great brews. 222 22nd St. S., St. Petersburg. 727-495-6002, 3dbrewing.com 3 KEYS BREWING South-of-the-Skyway restaurant and brewery specializing in small batches. 2505 Manatee Ave. E., Bradenton. 951-218-0396, 3keysbrewing.com 7VENTH SUN BREWING Some of the best sours, IPAs and collabs going. Two locations. 1012 Broadway, Dunedin. 727-733-3013/6809 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-231-5900, 7venthsun.com 81BAY BREWING CO. South Tampa’s first craft brewery boasts a wide variety of styles. 4465 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-837-BREW, 81baybrewco.com ANGRY CHAIR Crazy-good Tampa beer, open TuesdaySunday. 6401 N. Florida Ave., Seminole Heights. 813-238-1122, angrychairbrewing.com ANTIBREWERY Dunedin’s secret Sundays-only nano. 1367 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave., Dunedin ARKANE ALEWORKS A wide variety of styles and flavors from the second brewery to open in Largo. 2480 E. Bay Dr., #23, Largo. 727-270-7117, arkanebeer.com AVID BREWING This Grand Central brewing supply shop added a taproom for its beers crafted in-house. 1745 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-388-6756, avidbrew.com BARRIEHAUS BEER CO. Lager-specific brewery, carrying on an over 150 year brewing legacy. 1403 E 5th Ave., Ybor City. barriehaus.com BAY CANNON BEER CO. West Tampa's first craft brewery, offering a variety of ever evolving beers, beer slushies and wine that pair perfectly with appetizers and entrées from the kitchen. 813-442-5615, baycannon.com BIG STORM BREWING CO. Stop by this Pasco brewery’s Storm Room for a flight, or visit their taproom on 49th Street in Clearwater, too. 2330 Success Dr., Odessa. 727-807-7998, bigstormbrewery.com BIG TOP BREWING Perhaps Sarasota’s premier purveyor of locally crafted beer, Big Top’s reputation has spread far beyond the region. 6111 Porter Way, Sarasota. 941-371-2939, bigtopbrewing.com BOOTLEGGERS BREWING CO. This Brandon taproom from Bootleggers Beer & Wine Home Brewing Supplies offers house-made suds and guest beers. 652 Oakfield Dr., Brandon. 813-643-9463, bootleggersbrewco.com BRASSERIE ST. SOMEWHERE Award-winning Belgian farmhouse ales from veteran Bay area brewer Bob Sylvester. 1441 Savannah Ave., Tarpon Springs. 813-503-6181, saintsomewherebrewing.com BREW BUS BREWING BB brews its own suds, boasts 20 taps and offers food at its Eatery, too. 4101 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-990-7310, brewbususa.com BREW HUB Some of the area’s best beers are produced here along with suds for their own label. 3900 Frontage Rd. S., Lakeland. 863-698-7600, brewhub.com BREW LIFE BREWING Ultra-small batches, and a lot of ‘em. 5765 S. Beneva Rd., Sarasota. 941-952-3831, brewlifebrewing.com BULLFROG CREEK BREWING CO. A multitude of styles from former garage brewers is on tap in Valrico. 3632 Lithia Pinecrest Rd., Valrico. 813-703-8835, bullfrogcreekbrewing. com CAGE BREWING Custom brews in the Grand Central District from one of the ‘Burg’s newest. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-201-4278 CALEDONIA BREWING Great in-house beers in the historic Dunedin Times building. 587 Main St., Dunedin. 727351-5105, caledoniabrewing.com CALUSA BREWING Family owned and operated, opened Tuesday to Sunday. 5701 Derek Ave., Sarasota. 941-9228150, calusabrewing.com CARROLLWOOD BREWING CO. “Secret” brewing action inside the Carrollwood location of craft-bar chain The Brass Tap. 10047 N. Dale Mabry HWY, STE 23, Tampa. 813-969-2337
CIGAR CITY BREWING Tampa’s most famous craft brewery. There’s also a taproom at Amalie Arena. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363, cigarcitybrewing.com CLEARWATER BREWING CO. Community-oriented and socially and environmentally conscious. 1700 N. Fort Harrison Ave., Clearwater. clearwaterbrewingcompany.com COPPERTAIL BREWING CO. Some of Tampa’s best beer, in one of its best tasting rooms. 2601 E. 2nd Ave., Tampa. 813-247-1500, coppertailbrewing.com COTEE RIVER BREWING Craft beer in the heart of historic downtown New Port Richey. 5760 Main St., New Port Richey. 727-807-6806, coteeriverbrewing.com CRAFT LIFE BREWING Small-batch local brews and a sort of playground or LoL’s craft brewing guild. 4624 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-575-8440. facebook.com/ CraftLifeBrewing CROOKED THUMB BREWERY Safety Harbor’s first brewery boasts homegrown flavor and local guest taps. 555 10th Ave. S., Safety Harbor. 727-724-5953, crookedthumbbrew.com CUENI BREWING CO. Located off the Pinellas Trail in Dunedin. 945 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. 727-266-4102, cuenibrewing.com CYCLE BREWING One of St. Pete’s favorites. 534 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-320-7954. cyclebrewing.com DARWIN BREWING CO. Unique beers crafted with South American influence. 803 17th Ave. W., Bradenton. 941-7471970, darwinbrewingco.com DE BINE BREWING CO. This addition bolsters the Northern Pinellas craft beer scene. 933 Florida Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-233-7964. DISSENT BREWING CO. Unique flavors and adventurous style outside downtown St. Pete. 5518 Haines Rd. N., St. Petersburg. 727-342-0255. DUNEDIN BREWERY Florida’s oldest. Beer, eats and live music. 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-7360606, dunedinbrewery.com DUNEDIN HOUSE OF BEER This beer stop brews its own, and also has 40 guest taps. 927 Broadway, Dunedin. 727 216-6318, dunedinhob.com ESCAPE BREWING CO. Another very worthy Odessa/Trinity destination. 9945 Trinity Blvd., Suite 108, Trinity. 727-807-6092, escapebrewingcompany.com FIVE BRANCHES Veteran-owned brewery, small batches from IPAs to stouts. Serving up brews and a clear view of the Tarpon Bayou. 531 Athens St., Tarpon Springs. fivebranchesbrewing.com FLYING BOAT BREWING COMPANY St. Pete aviation history and tasty homegrown suds. 1776 11th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-2999, flyingboatbrewing.com FOUR STACKS BREWING An always-changing lineup of local and regional guest suds, along with trivia, live music and more. 5469 N. US HWY 41, Apollo Beach. 813-641-2036, fourstacksbrewing.com GREEN BENCH BREWING COMPANY A space worthy of the adventurous beers it produces. 1133 Baum Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-9836, greenbenchbrewing.com GOOD LIQUID BREWING CO. Thirty taps and food (and a coffee roaster!) from a husband-and-wife duo. 4824 14th St. W., Bradenton. 941-896-6381, thegoodliquidbrewing.co
HOB BREWING CO. Rotating taps; some of the beers are brewed on-site and alongside a combination of local breweries plus local and international craft beer makers. 931 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. hob.beer
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER This video game-centric Grand Central District craft beer bar started brewing its own in early 2018. 2244 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-360 - 0766, stpetearcadebar.com
IF I BREWED THE WORLD This self-described “mixtape of breweries” offers a bit of everything from the classic to the fun and outrageous. 2200 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727201-4484, ifibrewedtheworld.com
ROCK BROTHERS BREWING Brews named for national and local bands have a home in Ybor City. 1901 N. 15th St., Ybor City. 813-241- 0110, rockbrothersbrewing.com
IN THE LOOP BREWING Family-friendly Land O’ Lakes brewery with a lot of community support and plenty of events. 3338 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-9979189, intheloopbrewingcompany.com
SARASOTA BREWING COMPANY House-crafted brews, pizza, and sports out toward beautiful Siesta Key. 6607 Gateway Ave., Sarasota. 941-925 -2337, sarasotabrewing.com
INFUSION BREWING CO. Another great location in the good-beer-packed Trinity/New Port Richey area. 7813 Mitchell Blvd. Ste 103, Trinity. 727-312-4512.
SILVERKING BREWING CO. This space in Tarpon Springs complements a label that’s been around since 2012. 325 East Lemon St., Tarpon Springs. 727- 4227598, silverkingbrewing.com
INOCULUM ALE WORKS These folks are crazy for sours, and know how to craft ‘em. 554 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. inoculumaleworks.com JDUB’S BREWING COMPANY You know ‘em, you love ‘em. A favorite statewide phenomenon. 1215 Mango Ave., Sarasota. 941-955-2739, jdubsbrewing.com LAGERHAUS BREWERY & GRILL A Palm Harbor bar and eatery that offers seasonal brews to complement their regulars. 3438 East Lake Business, Palm Harbor. 727-216-9682, lagerhausbrewery.com LATE START BREWING This beloved Tampa label does its thing inside the Pour House. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd. #112, Tampa. 813-402-2923, latestartbrewing.com LEAVEN BREWING Riverview’s first brewery is run by folks who’ve got experience brewing big and small. 11238 Boyette Rd., Riverview. 813-677-7023, leavenbrewing.com MAD BEACH CRAFT BREWING Brews, ciders, and meads by the beach. 12945 Village Boulevard, Madeira Beach. 727-3620008, madbeachbrewing.com MARKER 48 Hernando’s first production craft brewery, with its own tasting room and beer garden 12147 Cortez Blvd, Weeki Wachee. 352-6062509, marker48.com MASTRY’S BREWING CO. From CD Roma’s restaurant to sweet new digs on St. Pete Beach. 7701 Blind Pass Rd., St. Pete Beach. 727-202-8045 mastrysbrewingco.com MOTORWORKS BREWING A taproom and beer garden featuring full liquor and wine as well as 30 taps. 1014 9th Street West, Bradenton. 941-567-6218, motorworksbrewing.com MR. DUNDERBAK’S The longtime restaurant, biergarten and homebrewers’ hangout is serving up its own beers. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-977-4104, dunderbaks.com NAUGHTY MONK BREWERY Naughty Monk brings a love of Belgian styles to Manatee County. 2507 Lakewood Ranch Blvd., Bradenton. 941-708-2966, naughtymonkbrewery.com OVERFLOW BREWING St. Pete’s newest, courtesy of local Rapp head brewer Troy Bledsoe and company. 770 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-914-0665, facebook.com/ overflowbrewingco PEPPER BREWING The Angry Pepper Taphouse’s inhouse label, available “on a limited basis.” 9366 Oakhurst Rd., Seminole. 727-596-5766, angrypeppertaphouse.com
GRINDHAUS BREW LAB Small batches and no extracts. 1650 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater. 727-240-0804, grindhausbrewlab.com
PESKY PELICAN BREW PUB This beachy restaurant also offers up its own beers thanks to an in-house nano system. 923 72nd. St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-302-9600, peskypelicanbrewpub.com
GULFPORT BREWERY + EATERY Small batches with an artisanal food menu. 3007 Beach Blvd., Tampa. facebook. com/GulfportBrewery
PINELLAS ALE WORKS PAW offers a dog-friendly environment in addition to tasty brews. 1962 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-235-0970, pawbeer.com
HIDDEN SPRINGS ALE WORKS This Tampa Heights brewery features a rotating tap selection. 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa, 813-226-2739, hiddenspringsaleworks.com
RAPP BREWING COMPANY Greg Rapp’s award-winning styles are carefully crafted and delicious. 10930 Endeavor Way, Seminole. 727-544-1752, rappbrewing.com
SIX TEN BREWING A wide variety and a real passion for the craft-brew community. 7052 Benjamin Rd., Tampa. 813-886 - 0610, sixtenbrewing.com SOGGY BOTTOM BREWING More Dunedin goodness, including some truly original flavors and inventive brews. 660 Main St., Dunedin. 727- 601-1698, soggybottombrewing.com SOUTHERN BREWING & WINEMAKING Multiple brews only available in its tasting room, as well as products and guidance for local homebrewers. 4500 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-238-7800, southernbrewingwinemaking.com ST. PETE BREWING COMPANY Beers crafted specifically for the climate. 544 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727- 692-8809, stpetebrewingcompany.com STILT HOUSE BREWERY This friendly Palm Harbor joint specializes in high-ABV ales and other styles you won’t find at other breweries in the area. 625 US Hwy Alt. 19, Palm Harbor. 727-270 -7373, stilthousebrewery. com SWAN BREWING Nearly 4 decades of combined brewing experience go into the offerings at this pet-friendly joint. 115 W. Pine St., Lakeland. 863-703- 0472, swanbrewing.com TBBC Formerly Tampa Bay Brewing Co., local favorite for nearly two decades. 1600 E. 8th Ave., Ybor City/13933 Monroe’s Business Park, Westchase. 813-247-1422, tbbc. beer TAMPA BEER WORKS At the former site of ESB Brewing, TBW focuses on American craft styles. 333 N. Falkenburg Rd., Suite D407 Tampa. 813-685-1909, tampabeerworks.com TIDAL BREWING COMPANY Small batches in Spring Hill. 14311 Spring Hill Dr., Spring Hill. 352-701-1602,tidalbrewingfl.com TWO FROGS BREWING COMPANY Tarpon Springs’ latest brewery and taproom focuses on American ale styles. 151 E. Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-6077, facebook.com/twofrogsbrewing KEEL FARMS AGRARIAN ALE + CIDER Tasty brews from the folks behind Keel & Curley winery. 5210 W. Thonotosassa Rd., Plant City. 813-752-9100, keelandcurleywinery.com TWO LIONS WINERY & PALM HARBOR BREWERY Wine and beer brewed in-house. 1022 Georgia Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-786-8039, twolionswinery.com ULELE SPRING BREWERY Beer crafted in accordance with traditional Bavarian purity laws. 1810 N. Highland Ave., Tampa. 813-999-4952, ulele.com THE WILD ROVER BREWERY What started as an English pub in Odessa is now a higher-production facility in Westchase. 13921 Lynmar Blvd., Tampa. 813-475-5995, thewildroverbrewery.com WOODWRIGHT BREWING COMPANY Traditional German styles in downtown Dunedin. 985 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-238-8717, facebook.com/ woodwrightbrewing ZEPHYRHILLS BREWING COMPANY East Paco’s first microbrewery. 38530 5th Ave., Zephyrhills. 813715 -2683, zbcbeer.com ZYDECO BREW WERKS Craft brews in Ybor thanks to an award-winning brewmaster, as well as full bars and NOLA-influenced cuisine. 1902 E. 7th Ave., Ybor City. 813-252- 4541, facebook.com/ Zydecobrewwerks
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 27
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MOVIES
THEATER
ART
CULTURE
Stand down
Free ways to to see and support your favorite Tampa Bay comedians. By Michael Murillo
DRY BAR COMEDY/YOUTUBE
W
hen people have to stay home, it’s hard for comedians to standup. Live comedy naturally thrives on an audience to provide feedback, interaction, and an atmosphere that keeps the laughs flowing. But without a place to perform, or people to come out and watch, there aren’t many smiles in the creative world of standup. Lost gigs Like so many people, comedians are out of work today. And for the ones who are booked regularly on cruise ships and comedy clubs, tomorrow looks very uncertain as well. Al Romas is a 29-year comedy veteran, and has seen just about everything during that time. But even he couldn’t have predicted how quickly his calendar cleared. “It’s shocking,” Romas told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “I never could have imagined an entire industry shutting down. A club closes, or a cruise gets canceled. But for it all to end so suddenly has been a shock.” Romas is a regular performer on cruise ships, and with that industry on hiatus, he’s lost several weeks of lucrative work. And with no definite restart date that would mean a return to the stage, the remaining gigs on the books are no sure thing. In the meantime, Romas has been trying to continue the second season of his web series, “The Two Dicks," but even that has been affected by COVID-19. Shooting dates and locations have been postponed, and he’s not able to meet with his creative partner, fellow comedian Al Ducharme. But you can catch up on the comedic shorts by following their YouTube channel at “1950s Detective Parody Series.” There’s always Amazon Matt Fernandez is an associate at a retirement planning firm, and is working from home for the time being. But he’s also lost a lot of comedy gigs around the state, as well as the open mic and monthly showcase he runs at de Bine Brewing Company in Palm Harbor. One thing he hasn’t lost is his sense of humor. “My brother keeps whining because he had to reschedule his wedding, but it’s not like their love is going anywhere,” Fernandez explained.
RAHN AWAY: Head online to Dry Bar to see Rahn Hortman be funny. “Sure, he lost his deposit on the venue, but how do you quantify lost laughter, you know? You can’t put a price on smiles.” He’s not sure when he’ll be able to get back on stage, but his comedy special, “Why Does Everyone Hate My Mirror?,” is streaming right now on Amazon Prime. Bars closed? Try Dry Bar Rahn Hortman (pictured above) works in management at Sprint, but has also been doing comedy for 13 years. He’s toured around the country and his calendar is usually full. Not anymore. “Honestly, I was so numb I had no plan. The entire thing was shocking,” he said. “Now, I’m just trying to live in the moment.” In the downtime he’s going on Facebook Live every so often
COMEDY
for immediate feedback, and plans to release a few sketches to keep the creative juices flowing. But you can still see Hortman perform. He released a special, “Good Game,” through Dry Bar. All its specials (around 200) are free to view by downloading their app. Another local, Cam Bertrand, also has an available Dry Bar special, “Sophisticated Ignorance.” On March 21 he livestreamed a comedy performance from his living room with his friends; it garnered around 1,100 views on all platforms. He said the feedback was positive and he’s inclined to try it again.
But those performances won’t make up for 10 weeks of lost work, including dates at colleges and comedy clubs around the country. And while he’s trying to stay busy, there’s no substitute for a traditional stage. “It’s the first time in six years I haven’t been able to do standup, so it’s definitely been an adjustment,” Bertrand said. “Been spending a lot of time writing, but standup is one of those things you only get better at it by doing it. So not being able to do it sucks.” In addition to Dry Bar, you can see clips on his Youtube Channel, CamBertrandComedy.
“How do you quantify lost laughter, you know? You can’t put a price on smiles.”
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 29
Don’t weight
Exercise can still be a daily routine during quarantine. By Resie Waechter
G
oing to the gym and training for fitness are some of the most important things to help keep me sane. Regardless of how stressful of a day I may have or how tired I may feel, exercising my body helps me get my mind right once again. Which is why when gyms and fitness centers across the state were ordered to close their doors on March 20 due to the coronavirus, I panicked. While it is important for all of us to stay home as much as possible right now in the times of COVID-19, many of us are more stressed out than usual. Fears about getting sick or having family members—especially those most vulnerable—falling ill have spiked, and many of us have lost our jobs. Not being able to go out seems chill for the first few days until you’ve exhausted all of your usual home resources and realize that you are more social than you previously thought. So what do we do now? We have more time than usual, but more stress and limitations, too. We are going stircrazy but can’t leave our homes or visit our usual sanctuaries: the gym, yoga studio, shopping for retail therapy, going to a bar or restaurant for food or drink and social time—even our beaches are closed. While I am tempted to stay in my pajamas and sip on some cold ones day after day—and I do indeed partake in my fair share of “staycation”
days—I know this is not sustainable. A few days of indulging is one thing, but I would rather not turn into Jabba the Hutt as the weeks (months?) of social distancing go on. I began to look up options to help maintain my sanity. Luckily for the Tampa Bay area, the options are plentiful. I opted to visit Play it Again Sports (a local used sporting goods store) early on in this ordeal and am glad I did. The gyms had all been shut down the afternoon before, and already Play it Again Sports was slammed. I didn’t know how I was going to make it work, but I refused to lose all of the progress I’ve worked hard for over the years—so I bought a barbell, kettlebell and wall ball. It didn’t take long to realize that many others had the same idea: After not finding any weight plates in stock at Play it Again Sports, I looked online to buy my own. Every single sporting goods store was out of stock indefinitely; the soonest delivery I could find on Amazon was a month away. Luckily, many local gyms are renting out their equipment—my CrossFit gym included. CrossFit has saved me from a lot. During some of my weakest moments, I have turned to my CrossFit family to remind me how strong I am and what I am capable of. There is nothing like increasing your physical strength to remind you how mentally strong you are, too.
FITNESS
30 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
ADOBE
PUSH THROUGH: Exercise to keep the COVID-19 (pounds) at bay. Burg CrossFit, like many other gyms in the Bay area, is encouraging members to continue to prioritize their fitness. In order to maintain motivation, Burg is doing everything it can to assist: It posts daily workouts for members and is even hosting online video classes via the Zoom app. Members are able to rent out equipment in full or partial packages, and coaches are so encouraging that it is hard not to get excited about working out—even if it’s in the confines of your own home. Coaches conduct weekly phone check-ins to set goals and help motivate members. Central Cycling, a local favorite spin spot, is also offering equipment rental. First responders and VIP Members get priority rental. CC also offers various high-intensity interval workouts and workouts using only body weight for those looking for fitness sans equipment. There are some days when we just need to get our chill on. The Body Electric Yoga Company in St. Pete normally offers a variety of beginner-toadvanced level yoga and meditation classes; after being forced to close its doors due to COVID19, BE now offers all of its classes virtually. Members can continue their monthly membership with fees being credited towards accounts once gyms are permitted to open the doors again. Non-members can access free yoga classes online via the company’s Facebook business page. Mental health and physical health are indelibly connected. I am a big proponent of building one’s mental health the same way we strengthen our physical health: By seeking out coaching from an expert.
Just as I need a CrossFit coach to help me improve my form on a difficult weightlifting movement or a yoga instructor to guide me through breathing properly, I call on the assistance of a local mental health counselor to give me tools and strategies to stay mentally healthy and strong, too. Many therapists are opting for video sessions with clients. If you have been considering therapy, a simple online search can help you identify local therapists who are taking new clients via Skype, FaceTime, or phone appointments rather than in-person for the time being. There are also apps like TalkSpace and BetterHelp that offer unlimited text, video and audio messaging with a therapist five days per week. Remember that in these weird times, we are all going through it together—just six feet apart and no more than 10 in a room. We are all feeling uncomfortable, isolated, nervous and out of our routines. We can let it turn us into Jabba the Hutts, or we can use it to fuel forward. To set new goals and break through the additional challenges of no gym space and limited physical contact. Do I feel like a rockstar throwing my oversized barbell around my undersized apartment? Hell no. These 550-square feet can barely fit my six-foot two-inch self and my 90-pound Labrador, let alone iron and plates. I almost hit the fan or wall every single time I do a lift and I feel like an asshole every time I run outside to use my jump rope or wall ball on the sidewalk of my apartment complex. But I do it anyway. And so should you. Because we have goals, baby. And we are not going to let isolation get us down.
“Mental health and physical health are indelibly connected.”
DILLY DALÍ: Bay area museums have stepped up to make your free time productive.
Surreally happening
CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR
visitors will be allowed in the building at once. 2911
New Identities Hair Studio Redken products available
47th Ave N., St. Petersburg. 727-522-6566. friendsof-
for purchase, plus root touchup kits and root spray. All
strays.org
products are buy two, get one free. Order online, open
Grill & Provisions Co. One-stop grill pro shop and Big
Fridays 12 p.m. to 3 p.m. for curbside pickup at Tampa
engaging activities for kids K-12 to your home.
Green Egg Platinum Dealer. Free delivery on all pur-
Palms and Riverview locations. newidentitiessalon.com
safer-at-home is the reality for so many of us, but
Materials can also be accessed by going directly to
chases, 20% of all charcoal, pellets, spices, rubs, and
Tampa Bay History Center Temporarily closed, but
for now, here are the businesses still helping you
SeaWorld.org, or through the park’s portal at Busch
sauces. Takeout available for Off the Egg lunch and
featuring online content via Facebook and Instagram.
get the shit you need to live and entertain your-
Gardens Tampa Bay Education. seaworld.com
BBQ catering and family packs that can be ordered
tampabayhistorycenter.org
self as we approach a month of life under the shadow
CAMP Tampa Choose your own adventure (Pilates,
ahead and delivered. 3501 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa.
Tampa Museum of Art Temporarily closed, but will be
of the coronavirus pandemic. Did we miss your busi-
HIIT, Yoga) at Camp (stylized “CAMP”), no matter
813-879-4647. grillandprovisions.com
producing online content for members and the public,
ness? Let us know by submitting your info at cltampa.
where you are. The South Tampa studio is offering
Health Mutt Virtual shopping available for curbside
including virtual tours of our exhibitions, follow-along
com/emergencylistings.
CAMP2GO, an effort to support staff during this
pickup. To place a curbside order, text 813-467-6529
art-making activities, and live-streamed events, post-
AGoldPhoto Pet Photography 2020 has seen a lot of
time, bringing you online workout classes with new
or shop online. 6116 N Central Ave., Tampa. 813-231-
ing alongside other museums nationwide under the
classes posted every Monday
3137. tampahealthmutt.com
hashtag #MuseumFromHome. tampamuseum.org
night. Watch from anywhere for
James Museum The St. Petersburg museum of west-
Tombolo Books Sales floor temporarily closed, but
$35/month. camptampa2go.com
ern and wildlife art is closed during the pandemic,
bringing books to your doorstep with no-contact deliv-
City Bike Tampa Downtown
but it is curating a Tuesday interactive session called
ery in St. Pete so you can stay home, stay safe, and
Tampa full-service bike shop
“The James Museum from Home.” jamesmuseum.org
keep reading. Order online for shipments via USPS
Home Portrait Project in Tampa, helping locals capture
is in drive-thru mode and still building new bikes. 208
Jim Chambers Music Box The show goes on at this
and UPS. tombolobooks.com
their family’s love and emotion in their very own front
E. Cass St., Tampa. 813-225-1777. citybiketampa.com
Tampa music school where lesions and jam sessions
University Area CDC University Area CDC facilities
yard or front porch. In order to sign up, they’re asking
The Dalí The downtown St. Petersburg museum
have moved online. jcmusicbox.com
and properties are closed through April 14, it’s teamed
for a donation to be made of at least $50 to Humane
remains closed, but has opened up a digital portal
Kalamazoo Olive Company Small, locally owned inde-
up with Prodigy® Cultural Arts Program instructors
Society of Tampa Bay. agoldphoto.com
that allows users to visit virtually. thedali.org
pendent specialty grocery retail shop, selling imported
to develop video tutorials on the following topics: life
Black Radish V.M. Ybor’s new vegan grocery store takes
The Florida Aquarium Temporarily closed, but offer-
olive oils and balsamic vinegars. 1008 Central Ave..,
skills, painting, drawing, dancing, bass guitar, the
online orders, then stashes them in a locker that only
ing daily Facebook Live content so you can SEA what
St. Petersburg. 727-258-4925. kalamazooolive.com
shaker and more. Videos are added weekly along with
you can open (yes, the cold items are kept in a thermal
they’re up to. flaquarium.org/sea-span
The Modern Paws Locally-owned natural pet market
“Get Moving!” exercise videos. uacdc.org/prodigyonline
bag with ice packs). 2923 N. 12th St., Ybor City. 813-
Forgot or Knot Assisting with food delivery, supply
offering curbside shopping and pickup, plus same-day
VKNG ROW Fitness studio and indoor rowing facility.
467-6496. blackradishgrocer.com
delivery and products to small businesses in Tampa
delivery throughout Hillsborough County on orders
Currently closed until regulations from CDC recom-
The Body Electric Yoga Company Brick and mortar
at no cost to at-risk communities during the COVID-
over $35. Full service grooming and self dog wash
mend reopening. Offering free challenges and workouts
is closed, but offering several classes a day free live
19 pandemic. Option to personalize video messages if
stations closed until further notice. 1120 E. Kennedy
through social media platforms. 701 W Platt St., Tampa.
streamed on Facebook. Schedule available online or
you’re sending gifts or food. 813-325-6266. forgotor-
Blvd., Tampa. 813-602-1750. themodernpaws.com
813-260-0174. vkng-row.com
on the app. 3015 7th St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-490-
knot.com
My Appliance Guy In-home residential appliance repair.
—
9361. thebodyelectricyoga.com
Friends of Strays Waiving all adoption fees. All
Normal operating hours, but limiting calls to three
Did we miss your business? Let us know by submitting
Busch Gardens Tampa Bay The theme park and zoo
adoptable dogs and cats are all spayed and neutered,
to four a day to minimize the exposure and spread of
your info at cltampa.com/emergencylistings
is closed during the pandemic, but bringing turnkey,
up-to-date on vaccines, and microchipped. Just 10
the virus. 813-808-7533. myapplianceguyrepairs.com
Some local businesses that’ve adapted to these bad times.
A
By Alexis Chamberlain
cancellations and postponements, but love, emotion and philanthropy are here to stay. That’s why this pet photography
RETAIL
company has launched a Safer at
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 31
Royally bored
Facebook ‘Tiger King’ trolls say they plan to storm Tampa’s Big Cat Rescue. By Ray Roa
S
ocial media is a great place to waste hours of your life, especially when your state is under a stay-at-home order. That’s what appears to be happening in a Facebook event titled, “Storm Big Cat Rescue Wearing Joe Exotic Shirts!” The event—set for Friday, July 10—is organized by two Indiana men, Chad Blankman and Randy Baker. Blankman, 31, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that he and Baker are good friends who bonded over being business owners. “We watched ‘Tiger King' on the first day it came out. Then social media took it by storm, I had already said previously we should protest her. Due to how she treats staff, collects money, doesn’t do anything for wildlife or conserving wildlife,” Blankman said in a message. Indiana was on a stay-at-home order until midnight on April 7. Bored Netflix users—all practicing caution in this age of coronavirus— have become enamored with the streaming site’s “Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness” docuseries ,which basically tells the tale of renegade zookeeper Joe Exotic, who’s obsessed with Tampa’s Big Cat Rescue CEO Carole Baskin. At one point, filmmakers insinuate that Baskin put her husband in a meat grinder (Baskin has vehemently denied the accusation). Online, Blankman is telling friends that he’s “reading Florida’s state government website on protesting.” “I’m going to do this professionally. I need to see if I can be held responsible for other people’s actions, if protesting hurts profits if I can be sued, trying to find locals through pages to help me file for a permit in the county, trying to find a attorney to join this so we have legal help on sight. Maybe Don’s attorney... so on and
so on. Every state is different so never assume,” he wrote. “There’s ways to do things correctly and accomplish something then there’s ways to think you can do something go down there waste time and money only to get shut down. I’m doing this correct way!” Blankman and Baker appear to have no past history of advocating for the rights of captive exotic animals, but Blankman told CL that he’s “always been involved with animals and wildlife. I’m not out there on the front lines speaking out about it.” “I have a family, a good job average life. I got out of business because I spent so much time away from family. I can’t be in the front lines speaking out about it, but when I do have time I can do what I have done.” he said, adding that he’s using his marketing skills to pique curiosity “I can create a event or something and get people together,” Blankman said. “Unlike business I don’t want a profit from this. I want to raise awareness for wildlife.” When told that his protest seemed to be borne from boredom brought on during Indiana’s stay-at-home order, Blankman didn’t disagree. He said he doesn’t want to cause chaos, and there’s “a way to do things the right way and accomplish things, there’s ways to do things like a idiot...” That’s why he’s looking for legal help and seeking advice about permits. “We are trying to not to be disturbing to the public. We understand there will be children passing by or even protesting and I don’t want anything to happen that could cause them future issues,” he said. “We just want to get a message across while taking a vacation!”
FILM & TV
NETFLIX
“I’m going to do this professionally.”
COOL KITTEN: Carole Baskin’s laid relatively low considering the hoopla surrounding Netflix’s ‘Tiger King’ docuseries.
32 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
Heads might roll
You could build a guillotine with that coronavirus stimulus check. By Daniel Hill
T
here’s an ethical way to spend your coronavirus stimulus check, but screw it. Spring has sprung! It’s finally beautiful outside again, sunny and temperate, and seeing as how absolutely everything everywhere is closed on account of a global pandemic, you’ve probably already gotten caught up on all the yard work you could possibly do. Now what? Might we suggest getting started on a new project? Specifically: Maybe you should build a guillotine! A marvel of engineering that is nevertheless within the crafting capabilities of your average Joe, a guillotine is a device that has many purposes, like slicing baguette sandwiches in half. But how could one afford the materials for such a fun home project in these days of belt tightening and pandemic? Money is tight, people are increasingly unemployed and our economy is rapidly grinding to a halt in the face of coronavirus and the lockdowns that have ensued to slow its spread. Where is the cash for this project going to come from? Luckily our country’s own wise and benevolent leaders have seen fit to cut the vast majority of us a check for $1,200 in an effort to stimulate the economy. And in a stroke of luck for the fan of the homemade guillotine, that just so happens to be the exact amount the internet says it would cost to build one. Don’t take our word for it; Google it for yourself.
The dollar amount comes from a 2012 Vice article headlined “What’s the Best Way to Execute Evildoers?”, and it claims that the cost of a guillotine is exactly the amount our own caring government leaders have deemed us able to receive in this time of need. “Building a guillotine costs around $1,200, lumber and hardware tools included,” the article states. “Add a few bucks to that if you want to pimp it out with paint, a pad for the chopping bed, and a basket to catch the head.” Not that we’d actually be using it to catch any heads or anything!! This is just meant to be a fun project, not a tool for the people to use against a corrupt ruling class, as was the case in France. Our own federal governmental response to this current pandemic is obviously going great—we’re currently no. 1 in the world as far as confirmed cases are concerned (being no. 1 is good right? USA! USA!). What grievance could we even need redressed? Meanwhile in the private sector, the world’s richest man, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, who averages about $230,000 in earnings per minute, was kind enough to launch a crowdfunding campaign asking the public to pitch in money to help his workers, who for whatever confusing reason are currently striking (how ungrateful). No, this has nothing to do with any of that. This is just a fun project to keep us occupied at home while our caring overlords continue to do what’s best for us. Honest!
ARTS & CRAFTS
“It has many purposes, like slicing baguette sandwiches in half.”
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813-254-8880 cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 33
PROFILES
MUSIC WEEK
Be like Baby
Tampa Bay’s unlikely coronavirus superhero. By Ray Roa
T
here are plenty of reasons to be more like Big Baby Scumbag right now, and the foremost is hygiene. The Tampa rapper born Tyrell Williams hasn’t changed his routine too much in the face of the coronavirus because he was pretty damn tidy to begin with. “Honestly, man,I wash my hands all the time. I’m not saying a lot of people are dirty, but people aren’t as clean as they need to be,” Scumbag, 25, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay as he chuckled over the phone while sipping a cup of coffee. “Washing your hands for 30 seconds should be like second nature. Don’t touch your face, don’t touch your eyes, you know what I’m saying? Shit that you’re supposed to know already, so I haven’t been taking any extreme precautions as far as that.” Scumbag—who grew up in Town ‘N’ Country—also stocked up on sanitizer, paper towels, toilet paper, and “hella snacks” like dill pickle chips and his favorite: ranch sunflower seeds. However, as the number of known positive coronavirus cases in Florida races towards its peak, the best way to be like Baby is to stay the fuck at home. “I’m most creative in my own space, in my own thoughts. I like being comfortable and being able to think,” Scumbag said. “This is no different from what I was doing back in January and February—just locking in, creating shit, man.” Self-confinement is how Scumbag landed at his 2018 breakout single, “Dale Earnhardt,” which caught fire and commanded attention from Dale Jr. himself, who tweeted, “Them hats man. Do your thing… Nascar n hip hop. I like it when they cross paths.” Scumbag even ended up going to the Daytona 500 alongside videographer Pablo Vasquez III. The Big Baby Earnhardt mixtape also caught the ear of famously-finicky music website Pitchfork, which wrote that the songs “overflow with jubilant maximalism and have a proudly Southern bounce… [and] play with tradition as much as [they] pay homage.” The cuts, P4K said, cruise with “the engine of a Tesla in the body of a stock car, with the trunk speakers of the most pimpedout, candy-painted Cadillac imaginable.”
It’s a fitting assessment for a record that saw the Alonso High School dropout leave material like 2016’s “Tha Trenchez” behind for a record where he flexed his muscle by effortlessly weaving together tracks that visited indie-pop and even house music. And for now, with festival sets like Miami’s Rolling Loud pushed back until February 2021, Scumbag is spending his energy seizing the moment. A forthcoming project goes back to the “turnt, in your face, all types of hype shit,” from 2018 singles like “Bruce Wayne” and “Lucky Charm.” His March single, “Fuck Coronavirus 2020” is a full-blown trap rager where a masked Scumbag passes on dapping people or shaking hands all while spraying them down with Lysol and drinking Bud Light instead of White Claw. In the hook, Scumbag joyously sings, “Fuck coronavirus. I’ll punch him in his jaw.” As far as streaming stats, the single about current events did “what it’s supposed to do,” but Scumbag cites a friend in A&R when explaining how music streaming numbers aren’t rising during the pandemic. “You would think since everybody’s home, that they’re streaming hella music, but it’s actually the opposite. People are watching Netflix and Hulu. People go to work, and on the drive to work you’re listening to music in your car. A lot of stores play these Spotify playlists. When you’re at school, you’re listening to music,” he said. “So when none of this shit is going on, it kind of cuts that whole shit in half because nobody’s in school right now. The gyms are closed. How many people play music when they’re in the gym?” So Scumbag’s got an entire line of new merch on the way, along with what he hopes is his second signature craft beer (the first was January’s “Silly Rabbit” fruit cereal berliner created by Tampa Heights’ Hidden Springs.) Over the weekend he released a video for “Nutty Professor Freestyle,” and when it comes to his favorite NFL team, Big Baby— who released a song called “Jameis Winston” in 2017—already has a tune in the bag. “I’ve already already made a song about him, man, I’m just waiting to drop it,” Scumbag said about the Bucs’ new quarterback. “I’m gonna just wait ‘til football season comes back around. It’ll make more sense; nobody’s trying to hear about Tom Brady right now. That’s the last thing people are worried about.” Thinking about the team reminds Scumbag of his dad, whose gig driving trucks for the Tampa Tribune earned the family free suite
INTERVIEW
34 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
@FRANKS_BEEN_DEAD
REVIEWS
THE GREAT INDOORS: Big Baby Scumbag back when it was OK to go outside. tickets. Pops used to tell baby Big Baby to watch the players and use their moves in his pop warner games. Scumbag, who hasn’t been to a game in years, said he’s definitely getting his father tickets to see The Goat in action this fall. “I fuck with Tom Brady, man; he’s a legend. Tom Brady got six rings with the Patriots. A lot of diehard Bucs fans hate Brady,” Scumbag said. “But at the end of the day, do you want this ring, or do you not want this ring? Nobody is a sports fan just to get to the end of the season and be like, ‘Oh, well, we almost made the playoffs.’ No. We’re trying to win.” In some ways, Scumbag has already earned a few victories. He makes a living off his music. His parents are his biggest supporters, despite not learning about his job until his girlfriend at the time showed them a video of him rapping in front of thousands at Rolling Loud last summer. Scumbag was going to keep his career choice tucked away from his parents.
“A lot of times when you tell somebody you’re a rapper, it’s kind of like, ‘Oh, that’s nice.’ But what other way for them to find out that I was a rapper then to see me perform at Rolling Loud,” Scumbag said. “So that was pretty cool. I was hiding that shit for so long. That was the perfect time right there, so shit happens for a reason.” “And maybe Big Baby Scumbag is beginning his rise—and bringing national attention to the local hip-hop scene—right now for a reason. Tampa Bay might need a hero like him in these days.” Someone who’s OK with staying inside and trying to find the best ideas to turn them into something productive. “Every day is what you make of it. There’ve been a bunch of times where I didn’t feel like writing music, but once I got to it and applied myself, I felt better about that shit,” Scumbag said of his choice to stay at home and find a vibe. “I would have eventually made a song about Dale Earnhardt, but it was just that right moment at that right time—it made so much sense, so I’m grateful for that.”
“People aren’t as clean as they need to be.”
Where the vinyl is: a list of Bay area record stores
It’s no secret that locally-owned and operated businesses are taking a hit from coronavirus closures and curfews. Some Tampa Bay record stores have adapted by offering curbside pickup, free shipping and private shopping during the COVID-19 pandemic. Stock up on some quarantine vinyl, and spend that money you were saving for the now postponed Record Store Day 2020. Just make sure to call ahead of time to see what’s up at the shop. —Kyla Fields ArtPool Records (2030 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-433-5195, artpoolrules. com
Daddy Kool Records (2430 Terminal Dr. S., Side B, St. Petersburg) 727-822-5665, daddykool.com
Kingfish Records (Main Store) (26024-B US Highway 19 N., Clearwater) 727-351-5177, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Tampa (14246 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-978-9316, soundexchangetampabay.com
Asylum Sights and Sounds (6566 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-384-1221
Disc Exchange (6712 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-343-5845, thediscexchange. com
Kingfish Records (Flea Market) (180 Race Track Rd., Tampa) 727-455-9923, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Pinellas Park (66th Street N and 86th Avenue N., Pinellas Park) 727-545-0042, soundexchangetampabay.com
Dunedin Records & Audio (757 Main St., Dunedin) 727-423-4108, dunedinrecords.com
Microgroove (906 N. Florida Ave., Tampa) 813-667-7089, microgroovetampa.co
St. Pete Records (6648 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-490-8861, stpeterecords.com
Mojo Books & Records (2540 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa) 813-971-9717, mojotampa.com
Steelworker Records (708 W. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Tampa) 813-666-4933, steelworkerrecords.com
Bananas Records (2887 22nd Ave N., St. Petersburg) 727-327-4616 ext. 1, bananasrecords.com
Bananas Records Warehouse (2226 16th Dustin’s Vinyl Shop (180 Race Track Rd., Ave. N., St. Petersburg) 727 327-4616 ext. 2, Booth F25 W, Oldsmar) 727-678-6829, bananasrecords.com facebook.com/pg/dustinsvinylshop Blue Moon Antiques, Books & Music Green Shift Music & Comics (5713 N. (1413 Cleveland St., Clearwater) 727-443-7444 Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-238-4177, greenshiftmusicandcomics.com The Clearwater Record Shop (1610 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater) 727-755-1201, Hello Darlin’ Records (Roving VW Camper) clearwaterrecordshow.com 727-479-6783, hellodarlinrecords.com
Patrick’s Book and Record Store (15215 US Hwy.19 C, Hudson) 727-868-3168, patricksbooksandre.wixsite.com/patricks Planet Retro Records (226 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg) 727-2187434, planetretrorecords.com
Unique Music & Collectables (123 Main St., Dunedin) 727-240-0757 Vintage Vinyl (38874 U.S. 19 N., Tarpon Springs) 727-940-8301, vintagevinyl.biz
cltampa.com | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | 35
Aries The ram.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries artist Vincent van Gogh got started on his life’s work relatively late. At ages 25 and 26 he made failed attempts to train as a pastor and serve as a missionary. He didn’t launch his art career in earnest until he was 27. During the next ten years, he created 860 paintings —an average of 1.7 every week—as well as over 1,200 additional works of art. For comparison, the prolific painter Salvador Dali made 1,500 paintings in 61 years. During the coming twelve months, Aries, you could achieve a van Goghlike level of productiveness in your own chosen field—especially if you lay the foundations now, during our stayat-home phase. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Most authors do their writing while sitting on chairs in front of desks. But long before there were standing desks, poet Rainer Maria Rilke and children’s author Lewis Carroll wrote their books while standing up. Novelist Henry James had eight desks, but typically paced between them as he dictated his thoughts to a secretary. And then there have been weirdoes like poet Robert Lowell and novelist Truman Capote. They attended to their craft as they lay in their bed. I suggest you draw inspiration from those two in the coming weeks. It’ll be a favorable time to accomplish masterpieces of work and play while in the prone position. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): While sleeping, most of us have over a thousand dreams every year. Many are hard to remember and not worth remembering. But a beloved few can be lifechangers. They have the potential to trigger epiphanies that transform our destinies for the better. In my astrological opinion, you are now in a phase when such dreams are more likely than usual. That’s why I invite you to keep a pen and notebook by your bed so as to capture them. For inspiration, read this testimony from Jasper Johns, whom some call America’s “foremost living artist”: “One night I dreamed that I painted a large American flag, and the next morning I got up and I went out and bought the materials to begin it.” (Painting flags ultimately became one of Johns’ specialties.)
36 | APRIL 9 - 15, 2020 | cltampa.com
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Ford Madox Ford (1873–1939) was a renowned author who wrote *The Good Soldier*, a novel that has been called “one of the 100 greatest novels of all time.” Yet another very famous author, Henry James (1843–1916), was so eager to escape hanging out with Ford that he once concealed himself behind a tree so as to not be seen. You have astrological permission to engage in comparable strategies during the coming weeks. It won’t be a time when you should force yourself to endure boring, meaningless, and unproductive tasks. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I hope that during the coronavirus crisis you have been entertaining wild truths and pondering the liberations you will initiate when the emergency has passed. I trust you have been pushing your imagination beyond its bor-
ders and wandering into the nooks a n d crannies of your psyche that you were previously hesita nt to explore. Am I correct in my assumptions, Leo? Have you been wandering outside your comfort zone and discovering clues about how, when things return to normal, you can add spice and flair to your rhythm? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I like this quote by the author Jake Remington: “Fate whispers to the warrior, ‘You cannot withstand the storm.’ The warrior whispers back, ‘I am the storm.’” Although this passage is more melodramatic than necessary for your needs in the coming weeks, I think it might be good medicine that will help you prevail over the turbulence of the coronavirus crisis. Getting yourself into a storm-like mood could provide you with the personal power necessary to be unflappable and authoritative. You should also remember that a
storm is not inherently bad. It may be akin to a catharsis or orgasm that relieves the tension and clears the air.
for 40 years, he walked from his home to pay a devotional visit to the Church of the Gesù. According to my reading of the astrological factors, now would be an excellent time for you to engage in reverential rituals like those—but without leaving your home, of course. Use this social-distancing time to draw reinvigoration from holy places within you or in your memory.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran rapper and activist Talib Kweli says, “You have to know when to be arrogant. You have to know when to be humble. You have to know when to be hard and you have to know when to be soft.” You Librans tend to be skilled in this artful approach to life: CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): As I understand activating and applying the appropriate atti- the current chapter of your life story, you have tude as is necessary for each new situation. And been doing the unspectacular but yeoman work I’m happy to report that of recharging your spiriyour capacity for having tual batteries. Although just the right touch at you may have outwardly the right time will be appeared to be quiet a crucial asset in the and still, you have in By Rob Brezsny coming weeks. Trust fact been generating your intuition to guide and storing up concenyou through every subtle shift of emphasis. trated reserves of inner power. Because of the coronavirus crisis, it’s not yet time to tap into SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio artist Marie those impressive reserves and start channeling Laurencin (1883–1956) enjoyed a colorful fate. them into a series of dynamic practical actions. One of the few female Cubist painters, she was But it is time to formulate the practical actions a prominent figure in the Parisian avant- you will take when the emergency has passed. garde. She was also the muse and romantic partner of renowned poet Guillaume AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian poet Apollinaire. But there came a turn- Jacques Prévert offered a variation on the ing point when she abandoned her famous Christian supplication known as the relationship with Apollinaire. “I Lord’s Prayer. The original version begins, was twenty-five and he was “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” But Prévert’s variation says, “Our father who art in heaven: Stay there.” Being an atheist, he had no need for the help and support of a paternal deity. I understand his feeling. I tend to favor the Goddess myself. But for you Aquarians right now, even if you’re allergic to talk of a divine presence, I’ll recommend that you seek sleeping out generous and inspiring masculine with all influences. According to my reading of the women,” the astrological omens, you will benefit from influences that resemble she said, “and at twenty-five you good fathering. don’t stand for that, even from a poet.” Is there a comPISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): How parable situation in your life, Scorpio? A role skillful are you in expressing you relish but that also takes a toll? Now is a what you want? Wait. Let me favorable time to re-evaluate it. I’m not telling back up and reformulate that. you what you should decide, only that you should H o w skillful are you think hard about it. in knowing what you want and expressing the SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian truth about what you want sculptor and architect Gian Lorenzo Bernini to the people who might ultimately (1596–1680) was a prodigious, inventive cre- be able to give it to you or help you get it? ator. One scholar wrote, “What Shakespeare This is the most important question for you to is to drama, Bernini may be to sculpture.” meditate on in the coming weeks. If you find He designed and built public squares, foun- that you’re fuzzy about what you want or hazy tains, and buildings, many in Rome, which about asking for what you want, correct the embodied his great skills as both sculptor and problems. architect. Unlike many brilliant artists alive today, Bernini was deeply religious. Every night
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The bulge By Dan Savage
I have a kink/fetish that’s been giving me a lot of anxiety over the last few years. I inadvertently discovered that I’m turned on by big bellies, weight gain, and stuffing. It’s actually been there since I was a little kid, though I didn’t understand it until now. If it’s relevant, I’m a female in my mid20s, in a heterosexual monogamous relationship. My problem is that I have a lot of trouble getting off without looking at pictures or at least thinking about my kink. I believe the common guidance is, “If it’s not hurting anyone, it’s fine.” But I feel super gross and ashamed. Neither my partner nor myself is large and we both value our health and fitness. I have absolutely no desire to participate in this activity with a real person. Every time I finish masturbating, I feel embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Some part of my brain obviously craves the kink, but the rest of my brain HATES it. I keep telling myself I will stop, but I have such a hard time getting off with other porn (or without porn) that I always return to it. I genuinely enjoy having vanilla sex with my partner. I feel turned on and I have fun. But I’m often not able to come. It sometimes makes him think he isn’t doing a good job, when in reality he’s doing great and I’m just frustrated with my body. So I guess I’m wondering: Does continuing to watch belly porn reinforce the kink in my brain? Should I stop watching it and force myself to find other ways to come? Should I somehow find a way to embrace the kink instead? —Big Belly Woes
with his own niche sexual interests. The dad wrote in, after all, not the kid. (But if you’re a 23-year-old Pokémon fetishist and your dad routinely invaded your privacy when you were a teenager and heaped shame on you about your kinks, please write in with an update!) But I have heard from people who, like you, weren’t comfortable with their own kinks, BBW, and desperately wanted to know what could be done. Most sex scientist and researchers agree with Bering: there’s really nothing you can do and masturbating to the porn that turns you on doesn’t “reinforce” your kinks. You can’t starve out your kinks by refusing to think (or wank) about them, BBW, and you can’t pray your kinks away anymore than I could pray my gay away. Embracing your kinks and exploring them with other consenting adults—or if your kinks can’t be realized for ethical reasons, enjoy them through solo or partnered fantasy play only—is the only realistic option. That said, some doctors have prescribed selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), AKA antidepressants, to people who were uncomfortable with their kinks. Those drugs don’t selectively eradicate kinks, BBW, they crater a person’s libido. Taking SSRIs would mean sacrificing the vanilla sex you enjoy with your partner on the same altar with the kink that stress you out. I can’t imagine you want to go down either of this route, BBW, which brings us back to embracing your kink and coming clean with your partner. The risk you run telling a partner about your kink is no doubt the forefront of your mind, BBW, because the consequences could be immediate, i.e. he might dump you. But not telling your partner about your kink—and leaving him to wonder why you can’t get off with him but have no trouble getting off alone—isn’t risk free either. If he feels inadequate, if he feels like you’re hiding something from him, if he feels like he can’t satisfy you… he might dump you. So share your kink with your boyfriend, BBW, and kinks should always be presented as crazy and endearing—and potentially really fun— quirks, not as tragedies. You have a thing for big bellies, BBW, you don’t have leukemia. And you can explore your kinks without gaining weight or stuffing your partner until he does. A little big belly dirty talk could help you get off with your partner, BBW, and even the fittest person can push their tummy out and create the illusion of a rounded belly. Have fun!
SAVAGE LOVE
Six years ago I roped Dr. Jesse Bering, author of “Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us,” into answering a question from a dad who was worried about his teenage son’s sexual interest in Pokémon. (Yes, Pokémon.) Dad wanted to know if there was anything that could be done about his son’s “pathetic” sexual obsession. Bering explained that his kid’s kinks—that everyone’s kinks—are hardwired. “Nobody knows why some people are more prone to developing unusual patterns of attraction than others,” Bering said. “But whether it’s a penchant for Pokémon, feet, underwear, or spiders, the best available evidence suggests that some people—mostly males—have a genetic predisposition for being ‘sexually imprinted’ during development.” And once our erotic imaginations have seized on something, once we’ve imprinted on Pokémon characters or big bellies or wrestling singlets, there’s not much we can do about it. Before we’re adults—before we hit puberty—our kinks, as Bering put it, are “pretty much fixed, like it or not.” For all we know the teenage boy with the Pokémon fetish was completely comfortable
My boyfriend and I live in San Francisco where we’ve been sheltering in place. We are unfortunately unable to shelter together, which means that we cannot have physical contact, especially since he lives with a parent who’s at heightened
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risk. (It’s not an option for him to stay with me for the duration.) We’re as frustrated about having to abruptly end the physical aspect of our relationship as you might expect. We go for (distanced) walks during the week, we talk everyday, and we jerk off in front of webcams together but that only goes so far. I was thinking about giving him some of my worn panties for him to do whatever he wants with. My question is this: If I were to wash my hands and be cautious while putting together a pervy care package, is there much of a risk of spreading the virus around by doing this? I’m currently in good health but I know that people can be infected but asymptomatic and we’re being really careful to keep both of our households as safe as possible. Can the virus be spread via pussy juice? —Very Aromatic Gift COVID-19 hasn’t been detected in vaginal fluids, VAG, so your pussy juice by itself doesn’t constitute a threat. But the virus, which is usually transmitted through the air (by people with the virus coughing, sneezing, or even exhaling), can survive for hours or days on different kinds of surfaces, including clothes. The virus can live for up to 24 hours on cardboard, VAG, which mean it’s the package, not the panties, that are potentially a danger here. If the last person who handled your care package—think the UPS guy who dropped it on his porch—had COVID-19, your boyfriend could wind up exposing himself by touching the box and then his face before washing his hands. But I think you should send him that package—but wear gloves while you pack it, don’t send it overnight (your scent will keep for a couple of days), and make sure your boyfriend immediately washes his hands after opening and discarding the package. On savagelovecast.com, comedian Pete Dominick. Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @FakeDanSavage on Twitter and visit savagelovecast.com.
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SHALL WE DANCE? by Merl Reagle ACROSS 1 Pierre's Nobelist wife 6 The Elephant Boy star 10 Teeny-weeny sound 14 Calendar abbr. 17 “I” problem 18 Bench-sitting Kagan 20 Eddie, as a Beverly Hills cop 21 Half a dance 22 Start of a moviesong lyric 26 Desire, for one 27 One of the archangels 28 Hectare units 29 ___ kwon do 30 Pirate Lafitte 31 Grand Marquis, familiarly 32 Diner sign 34 Mop target 35 Drive-time companions? 37 Darn 38 A few 42 Source of the movie-song lyric 47 Tattered 48 Long time 49 Certain Alaskan 50 Star with a stick 51 Peters out 52 Relinquish 54 Chased 58 Inscribed pillar 60 Threepio's friend, partly 61 Withdraws 62 End of the moviesong lyric 67 Pedestrian 1
REFRESH. REVIVE. RESET.
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69 So long 70 Champion's neckwear 73 Leaning 75 Embellish 76 Ten-parter, perhaps 77 San Diego's Miramar, for one: abbr. 78 West Indian snake (anagram of BORIC) 80 One for breakfast 82 Esther Williams married him 83 Start of a listener's reaction to the lyric 87 Signal to sandbag 89 “Get off the stage!” 90 In a prissy way 92 Feature of St. Peter's 93 Wheedles 97 Two-toed sloth 98 Judy's eldest 99 Connect 102 “___ in itself” 103 Retails at 105 Good place to sit in Iowa 107 End of the listener's comment 110 Naval abbr. 111 We, non? 112 Jukebox selection, perhaps 113 “No room at ___” 114 Originally named 115 Pub projectile 116 British gun 117 Kunta Kinte kin
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3 React to a judge 4 Spillane classic 5 Optometrist's offering 6 Enclosed chair 7 Of wings 8 “Stand By Me” singer ___ E. King 9 Not prompted 10 Unlike beachgoers, perhaps 11 Banish 12 “A mouse!” 13 Like some skirts 14 Clay pigment 15 Root (for) 16 Café cup 17 Humongous 19 BB gun 23 Criticize severely 24 Actress Kidman 25 The “uh” sound of “ago,” e.g. 31 Fannie or Ginnie follower 33 Mt. St. Helens fallout 34 Arctic vehicles 35 Soprano Scotto 36 Lizard's tail? 38 Dos follower 39 Need 40 The Turtle poet 41 Worked on a trireme 43 Forgets to blink 44 Quasimodo's haunt 45 Saskatchewan Indian 46 Slips 49 Green fruit 53 Charged particle 55 Clock shaped like DOWN a ship 1 Devilfish 56 Pile ingredient 2 Giant of wrestling 57 Bargain source 5
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PUZZLE FANS ! For info on Merl's Sunday crossword anthologies, visit www.sunday crosswords.com.
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From the annals of our late, great puzzlemaster. sundaycrosswords.com.
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