July 2009

publisher’s letter

“Be moderate in everything, including moderation.”

Growing up on Methamphetamine. I gave both of

are a product of our habits.

~Horace Porter Dear Friend,

Then there are the more destructive addic-

these books to my daughter, hoping they would

tions: alcohol, drugs, cigarettes. This month I

touch her as well. And then I wrote the letter to

share a personal story about one of my daugh-

my daughter that is printed in this issue.

This issue takes on the

ters. When I decided to print a letter I wrote her

Fortunately, my daughter is now drug-free. I

sensitive topic of addiction. For me, anything

last year about her addiction, the staff of Evolving

am sincerely grateful and proud of her courage in

pleasurable has the potential for addiction—

was torn: Is it too personal a story to share? Al-

allowing me to share her story. There is so much

whether it’s food, work, sex or physical exercise.

though it is extremely personal I believe that

secrecy and shame surrounding addiction—for

There is always the potential to overindulge, tak-

sharing our stories is part of what empowers us

those in the throes of addiction as well as their

ing a pleasant act to one with potentially dire

through difficult times. While my daughter was

loved ones. The articles this month attempt to

consequences. Even mountain climbing, if taken

enduring her struggle I read Beautiful Boy: A Fa-

address both sides of this major issue.

to the extreme, holds the possibility of addiction.

ther’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction by

I believe Horace Porter was right and that the key

David Sheff. I was completely moved by his hon-

is to try to maintain moderation. Because we truly

esty. Then I read his son Nic’s story, Tweak:

Jill Dutton

contents

About Alcohol page 10

Departments: News Briefs

5

Journey of Wholeness

Food Conscious

7

Spiritual Horoscope

17

9

Holistic Wisdom

8

Events

18

14

Plus:

12-Step Spirituality

Loving and Letting Go

11

Blinding Grief

When a Child is an Addict

11

Addicted to Stress?

15

Find a Spiritual Community

16

Spirit Treats Addiction

16

page 12

Publisher Jill Dutton jill@evolvingmagazine.com

Proofreader Judy Kirkpatrick

Contributors Joann Atchity, Carmelita Davis-Beets, Benita Carter, Delight Davis, Bethany Klug, Jude LaClaire, Aluna Michaels, Jeff Miner, Jay Peters, Becky Reed, Mother Clare Watts

Evolving 913-944-1298 jill@evolvingmagazine.com www.evolvingmagazine.com

Advertising ~Connie “Crash” Humiston 913–322-3378 ~ conniecrash@kc.rr.com ~Karen Cowdry 913-636-9502 ~ karenelise@kc.rr.com

Evolving© 2009 all rights reserved. The opinions expressed are those of the authors.

Distribution by PDS, Inc.

On the Cover: Kansas City artist Susan Tower created the inspirational art for Evolving this month. About her design, Susan says, “The Labyrinth is such a perfect answer for recovery. Back and forth, back and forth. Ever closer. A spiritual path to recovery. It doesn't always look like progress, but there is real progress nonetheless. The water above the labyrinth is a symbol of the emotional component of healing, the mountains are about reaching higher and being grounded at the same time. The sunset/sunrise sky reflects the transitional quality of healing and the path to healing. “ Susan has striking images for sale as original paintings, giclee prints, desk art and downloadable images. She specializes in painting on-site (in 'plein air') at sacred sites around the world and is currently completing a series from her trip to France this summer. In addition, she has paintings she did at Stonehenge, Avebury and Machu Piccu. Her website is www.SusanTower.com. The cover image for this magazine is for sale as downloadable art that you can print yourself for only $4.

July 2009 3

Evolving…

contributors

Delight Davis “Blinding Grief” page 14 Aluna Michaels Spiritual Horoscopes page 17

Jeff Miner “When Someone you Love is an Addict” page 11

Bethany Klug Food Conscious page 7

Jude LaClaire Journey to Wholeness page 9

Mother Clare Watts “Finding a Spiritual Community”

Benita Carter “About Alcohol” page 10

Carmelita DavisDavis-Beets Holistic Wisdom Evolving…

4 July 2009

Jay Peters “12-Step Spirituality” page 12

Joann Atchity “Are you Addicted to Stress? page 15

books/news

Silent Nothing

By Paul Goldman

This silence surrounds me now, I sit in the still awareness of no thing.

Nothing moves within me, around me.

All is quiet as the light dances in waves.

Nothing calms, stops the rush to there.

I become deeper than I was. Nothing dwells peaceful. I rest. Assured of everything arising from this place of silent purpose.

I greet the day ahead with a slight nod to the truth that sits smiling before me.

I know, as never before, all of this something I believe is so certain is, simply nothing— disguised.

This silence surrounds me now.

I sit in the still awareness of no thing.

Listen, listen, listen…

Scholarship Funds Available For Women To Attend Personal Growth Programs Through generous grants from two foundations, House of Menuha has scholarships available for women on limited incomes or women who are experiencing temporary financial challenges to attend its programs. House of Menuha is a non-profit organization which provides a nurturing environment for women to experience personal rest, reflection and renewal of body, mind and spirit, so that each is strengthened and better equipped to enrich family and community. The sponsors of the Menuha Scholarship Program are the Women’s Foundation of Greater Kansas City and the Shumaker Family Foundation.

House of Menuha offers two to eight -hour programs designed to inspire, educate and hold women accountable for holistically examining the direction and purpose of their lives, as well as to strengthen their emotional health and psychological resilience. Examples of workshop topics include: Clarifying Your Life’s Purpose, Befriending Your Shadow, and Insight Meditation.

Menuha programs prepare women to become “inner-directed” and less dependent on unhealthy and unproductive cultural expectations that are barriers to them becoming all that they can be.

Menuha has a sliding fee scale for program participation. Women contribute what they are able to within the suggested fee range for each program.

The scholarship program provides even more flexibility for women who are not able to contribute the amount

on the lower end of the sliding fee scale. There is no written application process involved to take advantage of the scholarship program. Women can make advance arrangements to use scholarship funds when enrolling for a program or they can simply attach a scholarship coupon with whatever contribution they can make toward the program fee when they attend.

The program is one of mutual responsibility. “We ask each woman to make a contribution toward her workshop, even if it is only $1.00, so that she helps even more women to be able to participate in Menuha programs,” says Sister Annie Loendorf, SCL, Founder and Co-Director of House of Menuha.

“With women experiencing personal and family job losses or reductions in salaries and hours, the respite, support and guidance found at Menuha is more important to women than ever before.

To learn more about the scholarship program and House of Menuha’s current program schedule, call 816.444.2434 or visit www.menuha.org.

Menuha is a Hebrew word meaning “to rest in purposeful contemplation”. Menuha is not affiliated with any religious institution and does not promote religious doctrine. House of Menuha works to advance the understanding and expression of the spirituality of all women regardless of their faith affiliation, beliefs, race, background, sexual orientation or age.

Evolving Magazine to Sponsor Raw Bliss Fest RAW BLISS FEST Conscious Health & Lifestyle Festival Evolving is proud to sponsor the Raw Bliss Fest in Parkville on July 25th from Noon to 7 p.m.

At last year’s inaugural festival, there were 250 in attendance for high vibes, music, food, speakers and demos. This year’s event features vendors such as Na-

ture's Pantry, Kangen Water and Café Gratitude KC, as well as speakers who have conquered chronic illness, obesity, addictions and depression.

For more info on this conscious health and lifestyle festival, see the ad on the back cover of this issue or http://rawblissfest.eventbrite.com. Tickets can be purchased online or at GreenAcres and Nature's Pantry.

Advance tickets are a bargain at $10. Gate $15.

Evolving...

5 July 2009

food conscious

Traci Bray, BA, MS MEDIUM Kansas City

Real Health Care Begins with Food

By Bethany Klug, DO The current health care debate focuses on how to get everyone into an insurance system. This clearly is attempting to solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. What if we followed Albert Einstein’s famous words and examined the issue of health care from a fresh perspective? If we truly want a health care system, then we need to determine what promotes health, and form a health care system around that. Today’s insurance system rewards drugs, surgery and high-tech procedures.

It’s a costly approach that patches things up only after health has been compromised.

Healthier people need less health care and less costly care. Health starts with what we put in our body, mind and spirit. This is where health policy meets agriculture, economic, energy, environmental, education and other policies.

Let's start with improving the quality of food we eat. Processed and manufactured foods have weakened our physical, mental and spiritual health. What if we returned to local/regional food systems, using natural methods that build nutrient-rich soils, which in turn create nutrient-rich foods?

Natural methods avoid polluting our environment with toxic chemicals and animal waste. With local/ regional systems, food is transported shorter distances, using less energy and with less nutrient loss in the process. What if we establish programs to teach people how to cook these foods in their natural unprocessed form? What if we offer unprocessed foods cooked from scratch from these local/ regional systems to our children

via the school lunch program? Studies show children who eat this way have much lower risk of obesity, a problem that threatens to cost over 13 billion dollars. It won’t cost nearly that much to solve the problem with the right food.

The corporations that produce our current diet of processed and manufactured food don't have to be left out of this. What if we encouraged them via tax and other incentives to develop these local/ regional food systems and dismantle the centralized systems? The recent microbial contamination incidents are a sign of their failure, as is the declining health of U.S. citizens. What if the USDA, university agriculture and county extension programs helped conventional farmers re-tool and trained new farmers to use natural methods? What if we made it the goal of these organizations to ensure and support the production of food that creates healthy citizens?

The current insurance-based health care system is misnamed.

It’s a disease care system. If we truly want healthy citizens and a healthy country for them to live in, we must make real change. One place it begins is with the quality of the food we eat.

Dr. Klug welcomes and encourages you to send this article to President Obama, your senators and representatives, and others in government.

Bethany Klug is a physician for whom food is a doorway to personal, community, and planetary health. Learn more about her practice of “Restoring Health with Holistic Medicine” at 913-642-1900 and www.bethanyklug.com.

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We’ve Redesigned Our Website!

• • • • • • •

All new design Added a blog Improved reader survey All back issues now open full screen RSS News Feeds for Natural Health News Put an interactive event calendar on the site A links page to our advertisers’ websites

www.evolvingmagazine.com

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holistic wisdom

Integrating the Elements

By Carmalita Davis Beets There is one common theme that runs through each Holistic Wisdom column that I write—the idea that to achieve optimum health and happiness, we must lead balanced lives. And this month’s thoughts on the subject of balance are once again based on the remarkable, ageless approach to life and harmony found in Traditional Chinese Medicine. Specifically, the five traditional Chinese elements of water, wood, fire, earth, and metal.

The theory of the five Chinese elements is derived from observing the natural world and the Eastern belief that everything in the universe corresponds to nature and the energy found in water, wood, fire, the earth, and metal. These forms of energy are constantly transformed from one into another in the natural world. In human beings the elements determine our balance— physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

In ancient times, the Chinese honored the ebb and flow of changes in the world around them and the cycle of seasons. In fact, they believed that we are the seasons and that we experience the seasons both within and without ourselves. The theory of the elements is that the energy of those elements is what activates the universe…and what activates us. The elements are always in a constant state of change and motion and therefore represent the most important transformational changes in the world. So when we learn to adapt to the external in-

fluences of the world and recognize and clear our inner experience, we maintain our health.

Let’s look at the elements one at a time.

WOOD represents birth, Spring, and active functions such as the state of growing or increasing. Other characteristics of wood include decision making, competitiveness, assertiveness, creativity, conflict, and leadership.

FIRE represents growth, Summer, and functions that have reached their maximum and are ready to decline. Other characteristics of fire include self-expression, empathy, seeking attention, being extroverted, social, and talkative.

EARTH represents maturity and late Summer. The energy of earth is a buffer between all processes and represents neutrality and stability. Other characteristics include supportive, caring, nourishing, family-oriented, and worrying.

METAL represents decline and Autumn.

Other characteristics of metal include selfcontrol and moderation; a tendency toward pessimism, morality, precision, and that which is meticulous, logical and analytical.

WATER represents old age, hibernation, death, Winter and functions that have reached their maximum in decline and are starting again in the direction of rebirth.

Other characteristics of water include solitude privacy, nervousness, insecurity, anxiety, truth and honesty.

When you read through the descriptions of the elements, you no doubt see yourself

reflected more in some of the elements than in the others. The challenge for all of us is to learn to stay in balance in the midst of the elements that are ebbing and flowing through our lives. If one element dominates, this will manifest physical and emotional problems. For example, when the energy of earth is out of balance, the result is obsession and worry. An imbalance of metal causes anguish, grief and melancholy. Fear and fright are the result of an imbalance of water. When wood is out of balance, depression and anger can occur. And an imbalance of fire causes excessive joy and mental problems.

When seeking ways to stay in balance, Chinese traditions once again provide answers. Try incorporating yoga, meditation, martial arts, or Tai chi into your week. Investigate acupuncture, structural integration bodywork, reflexology, energy healing, herbal remedies and other methods of natural healing. Eat fresh, healthful foods that are locally grown and in season. Exercise, drink plenty of water and get plenty of sleep. Rid your life of unhealthy relationships. And most of all, forgive yourself, accept yourself and love yourself.

Carmelita Davis-Beets is the founder and president of the Midwest Institute of Natural Healing, located at 5518 N. Antioch Road in Kansas City, Mo. The school offers courses of study in Holistic Nutrition Consulting, and Body Somatic Therapy—a unique method of structural integration bodywork that is tailored to address the physical and emotional issues of each person. Carmelita can be reached at 816-453-3577, or Carmelita@NaturalHealingSchool.org.

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journey to wholeness

Desire, Addiction and Happiness

By Jude LaClaire, Ph.D. Experience…tells us that neither the suppression of nor abandonment of desires leads to satisfaction in life. Then how do we live with the reality of our abundant desires and still become happy and fulfilled? ~Living Buddhism: February, 1999 The root word for desire is “desiderare” which literally means “to await from the stars.” Webster goes on to say desire is to wish for, crave or covet; a strong wish or craving; a thing or person desired. The root word for addict is ‘addictus’ which means to give assent; to give oneself up to some strong habit, usually in the passive voice. So how does one use desire and avoid addiction in the pursuit of happiness?

Different philosophies and spiritual traditions perceive desire in various ways. One side tells us that desires should be eradicated, that they may even be intrinsically evil and block one’s path to wholeness, enlightenment or salvation. The other perspective is that desires are natural; that following desires, as long as one does not infringe on the rights of others is good. Accepting both desire and absolute happiness as intrinsic to our lives offers a more holistic perspective. This realization is found in the history of the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In the early 1930’s Bill W., one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, met Roland H., who, like himself had been a raging alcoholic but had been able to stop drinking and was in ‘recovery.’

Roland related his familiar story of years of struggle to attain sobriety. In desperation he had gone to Switzerland to work with Dr. Carl Jung, the world-renowned psychologist and psychiatrist. He saw Dr. Jung for a year and seemed to be much better. However, after leaving therapy, he soon relapsed into drinking. He returned to Dr. Jung, who told him he was hopeless and the problem of addiction to alcohol (spirits) could only be cured by a vital spiritual experience, a genuine conver-

sion.’ He advised him to search for this experience and recommended the Oxford Group.

Roland became involved with the Oxford Group, a Christian movement that focused on changing the world ‘one person at a time.’ They encouraged people to surrender to faith and give up alcohol. Roland was successful in becoming sober. When he and Bill W. met they discovered that when they acknowledged their hopeless and powerless condition and turned inward, a spiritual shift had enabled them to become sober.

These principles are incorporated in the first two steps in the Twelve Step program of AA, which has been used to work with addictions of all kinds.

These steps include admitting powerlessness over the addiction and finding a “Power greater than ourselves.”

This spiritual experience can be gradual or very immediate. It is described in the Big Book of AA as a change of ideas, attitudes and emotions, replaced by a new set of conceptions and motives.

The Big Book states “We found the Great Reality deep down within us.”

Bill W. wrote to Dr. Jung in 1961 to express his long overdue gratitude for his “critical role in founding our Fellowship.” Dr. Jung replied within a week and stated, “His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God.” Dr. Jung died at age 86 less than six months later.

Another way to think about desires/illusions is changing or transforming them into energy that leads us to joy and fulfillment; a profound sense of happiness that transcends suffering. Energy is constant and is neither lost nor gained. To suppress or deny does not work; to transform and channel is part of that new attitude that propels us forward.

Whether we are guided by ancient truths, religion, the discoveries of neuro-science or an integration of these, we can let desire take us toward our wholeness, guided by wisdom. This is happiness without addiction, coming from a place of hope; connecting with the “Great Reality” that empowers us.

Jude LaClaire, Ph.D., LCPC, LCSW, is a counselor, educator and author. For counseling appointments, groups, seminars, Neurobehavioral Programs or speaker’s bureau call 913-322-0023.

For more information on Jude LaClaire and the KC Holistic Centre go to www.kcholistic.com or email jude@kcholistic.com.

Kelly Clutter Certified Rolfer & Licensed Massage Therapist

The August theme for Evolving is

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Evolving… 9 July 200

Educating Ourselves About Alcohol Karen Harrison, Ed.S. Licensed Professional Counselor Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Reiki Master Teacher Usui Tibetan, Karuna & Kundalini Reiki

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Take our on-line reader survey for a chance to win: TWO TICKETS TO THE RAW BLISS FESTIVAL! See the back page of this issue to learn more about the event.

Here’s how to participate: Go to www.evolvingmagazine.com and fill out our reader survey by July 16. On July 17 we’ll draw five names from the surveys submitted. If your name is drawn, you’ll receive a complimentary pair of tickets to the event. If you’ve previously filled out the survey your name is already entered to win.

July 2009 10 Evolving…

By Benita Carter Alcohol is the last legal and socially acceptable drug. Many people are what is termed social drinkers and seem to be able to drink in moderation with few consequences. The problem is that no one knows until they test the waters which category they are going to fall into and whether or not they are going to develop a dependency.

Alcohol is both physically and psychologically addictive.

Statistics supplied by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcohol tell us that many fall into the trap of addiction. Fourteen million Americans consume alcohol to excess and one in every 13 adults abuse alcohol. Fifty-three percent of the population is affected by alcohol abuse and costs society $100 billion a year.

Much of our society still puts alcohol on a pedestal and the myths surrounding what this substance can do for us abound. Perhaps it is time to examine how we look at alcohol consumption and also what we actually know about alcohol itself.

From the time we are very small we are bombarded with conflicting information. From many adults, we learn we must be of a certain age to indulge and that it’s never wise to overindulge. From adolescent peers and much of the media, we often hear that the more the better as alcohol has the ability to make you cooler, sexier, funnier, calmer, less stressed and so on.

What we are not told is that alcohol is a highly toxic substance whose main goal is to convince you that you need more of it. And the alcohol is right—the more of it you drink, the more you need to achieve results. Alcohol causes us to dehydrate and convinces us we need more to quench our thirst.

We are never really in control, the

substance is.

Drinking in excess depletes the body of stored energy. Too much alcohol can deplete the body of virtually all necessary vitamins and can cause the body to go into shock and atrial fibrillation. The consumption of too much alcohol adversely affects every major organ in the body. Detoxification from alco-

Alcohol causes us to dehydrate and convinces us we need more to quench our thirst. We are never really in control, the substance is. hol is dangerous. Worst of all, your brain, controlling your body, ceases to function properly. Widely touted as an aphrodisiac, alcohol can make us feel sexy but unable to follow through. It is a major cause of impotence in men.

For men and women, alcohol drank in excess can cause dry, dehydrated skin creating wrinkles.

Broken capillaries are a side affect as well as a yellow tinge to the skin. Alcohol provides empty calories and causes weight gain as well as water retention.

Surely, learning to enjoy the

taste of alcohol must be acquired.

It’s doubtful that anyone trying their first taste of alcohol likes it, thus the need to dress it up with all types of sweet additives.

Can something you drink make you less inhibited? Well of course, but that’s not always a good thing.

Actually retaining some of our inhibitions keep us from making fools of ourselves.

Can drinking blot out bad memories and keep us from feeling fears and hurts? For a while it can.

But on the flip side of this, excess alcohol consumption can also prevent us from feeling honest emotions that we desire to experience such as joy, contentment, peacefulness and love. All the while this substance is trying to convince us that we need more of it to run from our fears and bury our feelings— feelings that we actually need to experience for successful relationships.

Can anything we ingest boost our self-esteem, make us happier, more self-confident or enable us to have more fun? Alcohol can do this temporarily but in the end, our well-being is an inside job that takes work on our part.

As intelligent beings it is up to us to decide what we will and will not put into our bodies. But as with any decision it is wise to evaluate all the facts and not believe we are missing out on something wonderful if we are not. We must decide if we are getting more than we are giving up and this decision can’t be made if we are in the grip of addiction.

Benita Carter is a freelance writer living in Lenexa, KS.

April 22, 2008 Dear Tara, First off, and most important, Happy Birthday!!!! I love you so completely and wish you a glorious day.

It’s 3:00 in the morning on your birthday and I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about you being alone today and it burns my heart. I want you to know how truly loved and missed you are.

Twenty-three years ago your dad and I were getting ready for your birth. I’ve told you we couldn’t decide on a name, but drove by a street sign one day right before your birth and saw the perfect name—Tara. Since then we’ve discovered that Tara is an ancient Goddess. Originally, the Goddess Tara was considered the Mother Creator and represented the “eternal life force that fuels all life.”

We had no idea what your name embodied at the time. But since then have learned how the Green Tara is known as the Mother Earth, a “fierce goddess who overcomes obstacles, and saves us from physical and spiritual danger.”

How appropriate for such a determined, soulful child.

You were always such a sensitive child. As a new baby you reacted to any loud noises or arguments with intense distress. After your grandpa died you would suddenly cry at school, claiming you were sad about your grandpa. You’ve always carried incredible sensitivity and compassion.

I miss you, and the darling child I know you still are, so much. I’m not writing this letter to

What to do if you or someone you love is an addict.

Addictions affect people in a variety of ways.

We are all aware of the classic addictive behaviors to alcohol, drugs, gambling and pornography but addictions come in a variety of forms and sizes.

They often appear non-problematic or even healthy, at first, but would you consider an addiction to exercise or washing your hands, or even an obsession with healthy eating, a problem? You may not until you understand the effects that it may be having on living everyday life. For example: an addiction to working out may interfere with work, family, leisure and even health if the person is working out too much causing health issues.

Addictions affect people from all parts of society from rock stars, writers, lawyers, doctors, teenagers, stay at home moms to homeless people. No -one is immune from the long reaching arm of addictions. Studies have shown that there may be a predisposition to addictive tendencies and men tend to be more vulnerable to becoming an addict.

Treatment The first phase of any addiction treatment focuses on the physical effects. This includes imme-

Loving and Letting Go: A Letter to My Daughter

make you feel guilty. I am writing this so you know that if I seem to be distancing myself from you it is not out of lack of love but because I don’t know of any way to reach you. I keep waiting for you to come back, but you don’t.

Your brilliance, your light, are immense. I would do anything to help you come back, see your potential, find some passion and purpose in your life. I keep telling myself that if only you could find something you were passionate about, reclaim your determination, joy and love of life, that you’d see there are other, better ways to live.

That there is hope.

I know from personal experience how easy it is to get caught up in running from life. I’ve done diate health related issues such as detoxification, liver disease, or any other immediate life threatening disorders that may need medical attention.

Since most addictive diseases are primarily psychological in nature, the main therapy tends to be psychosocial therapy. Treatment usually focuses on irrational feelings and distorted thinking that accommodates addictive behavior. Most addictions are chronic in nature which means they require a lifetime recovery plan. This plan can include hospitalization to address the initial physical challenges that accompany immediate discontinued use of a substance and then some type of ongoing 12-step program. Many individuals benefit from therapy. This allows the patient to deal with underlying issues that may have been a precursor or underlying cause for their addiction.

Treating the family Addiction affects every member of the family.

As the disease progresses and the individual uses more and more to get their needs met, it can cause a wide range of emotional, spiritual, and financial problems for almost everyone involved. When a family is ready to get involved an excellent resource is Al-Anon or Alateen. These groups provide support and guidance for family members. A qualified family therapist who understands the process of addiction and recovery may also be a valuable resource for families.

it myself so many times.

I’ve learned life is a decision, a choice that you have to make. And you have to fight for it daily.

Each day you have to know that there is something important in your life. Something worth fighting for. Something you will do anything to have. And that “anything” is facing life, its problems, setbacks and let-downs head on, knowing that even though life is painful it is also glorious.

But when you are in an addictive state, the glory is lost. It’s a high price to pay, Tara.

You have to choose to fight for life.

I wish I could save you. But I know that only you can choose to save yourself.

One of my greatest fears is that you feel abandoned in this lonely period. The thought of you feeling alone through all this tears at my heart.

You are not alone. You are truly and deeply loved and cherished.

Please know I have not abandoned you. I would do anything—anything—to reach that sparkling child who cares so deeply and touches everyone she contacts. You truly are that fierce goddess who can overcome all obstacles.

I miss you. I love you. And I respect you in whatever decisions you make. This is your path.

Still, I hope desperately that you will come back and reconnect with your family. I love you, Tara.

Happy Birthday.

Mom Jill Dutton is publisher of Evolving magazine.

Tara is now drug-free and expecting her first child in October.

How you can help Sometimes the addict is in a strong state of denial and the only way to get through to them is an intervention. This process involves arranging for a professional interventionist to organize a meeting of the family, friends, employer and co-workers.

The interventionist helps the group prepare for a confrontation that will be followed by the patient entering a treatment facility. The patients family and friends usually write a brief statement describing how the addiction has affected them. The interventionist and the group meet with the patient and read their statements to the patient. This technique has amazing results when the interventionists are well trained and they enlist the support of the family to assist the addict.

Don’t let an addiction hold you or someone you love from getting everything you want in life. The bottom line answer is: “You don’t have to do it alone.” Get help, support and guidance. If you had cancer you would go to a professional for treatment so if you have an addiction, take action. It won’t go away on its own.

Jeff Miner is a licensed therapist that has over fifteen years of experience working with individuals, business owners, athletes and entrepreneurs in establishing and achieving their goals. Jeff has a dynamic way to help people build confidence, enhance their performance and to overcome personal challenges and roadblocks. His is owner of Nothing By Chance Evolving… 11 July 2009

The Journey of Recovery Through 12-Step Spirituality “And so the journey of recovery begins by drawing one into honesty about life that has been medicated through addictive use patterns and consequences.”

life that has been medicated through addictive use patterns and consequences. Past fears, traumas, abuse, or hurts cannot be addressed or healed until there is a completion and integration of the first step. Once the 1st step is taken, the exciting spiritual journey of recovery begins.

The 1st step of Alcoholics Anonymous is the only step that mentions the word alcohol. It is precisely the same for all other addictions and compulsive behaviors that integrate the 12 steps of AA into the recovery process. The additional 11 steps manifest a guide to wholesome daily living by integrating an understanding of humility, forgiveness, gratitude and reconciliation of all the residual “fall-out” of addictive use and accompanying past behaviors.

By Jay Peters

When we enter this world through birth, everything we do is a “first.” Our first smile, first squeeze of a finger, first roll-over, first distinguishable sound, first effort at crawling and yes, even our first step is recognized with satisfaction as growth and maturity. Our first efforts at everything, like learning to play, sip from a cup, riding a tricycle or the first day in kindergarten comes, not without great effort, in arriving at a feeling of success and satisfaction. Our relationship with our world requires the first step that must be taken to accomplish anything we value as important to us.

July 2009 12

Evolving...

And so it is in the world of 12-step recovery.

The journey of recovery requires taking the 1st step: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”* The feeling of success and satisfaction that permeates the 1st step enables one to begin the journey of surrender to a life that leaves behind, like the wake of a boat, the frustration, anxiety, fear, anger, depression and desperation of active addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, compulsive eating, or any behavior that results in loss of self-esteem and quality of life. Once the 1st step is integrated into a lifestyle that had been plagued with alcoholism or any other addiction, there begins a promise of “a new freedom and a new happiness.” * And so the journey of recovery begins by drawing one into honesty about

Steps 2 and 3 are all about surrender to a Higher Power. As reported in the AA Big Book, “any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.” * Step 2 suggests that the recovering individual “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,” * followed by step 3 to make “a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.” * Receptivity to surrender is a key ingredient to the success of the spiritual program of recovery. Using steps 2 and 3 as the tools of surrender transitions one from feeling controlled in life to bridging into a receptivity that is rooted in acceptance. The integration of step 2 and 3 is the spiritual surrender and gateway to forgiveness and reconciliation leading to recovery and sobriety.

Making a “searching and fearless moral inventory” * with steps 4 and 5, while becoming willing to admit “to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs” * is a process of recognizing personal character defects. Steps 6 and 7 promote redemption of old hurts and behaviors that not only

identify how the individual inflicted pain on others, but also how personal woundedness went unattended. It is the rigorous work of identifying personal flaws and making amends essential to recovery through forgiveness.

The recovering individual sees these behaviors as wounds. Others see them as obnoxious behaviors where one simply acted inappropriately. This behavior is usually the result of a childhood wound of abuse or trauma that is still felt that has gone untreated for years.

Using alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors of any kind is the unhealthy attempt to medicate deep hurt, which usually resulted in anger and inappropriate behavior. The spiritual journey of recovery utilizes these steps to seek forgiveness with a firm commitment of making amends. The individual is encouraged to pray with their Higher Power to be transformed into a mature individual with an authentic sense of self-esteem.

Critical to the journey of recovery through 12-step spirituality is acceptance.

The most quoted paragraph in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book is on acceptance. “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation— some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.

I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.” * Parallel to acceptance, forgiving others is part of the process, and there are people who cannot get off the fact that twenty years ago their husband or their wife left them. Who’s the real enemy? The person who left you twenty years ago or the force within yourself that’s let twenty years go by and still hasn’t gotten over it? Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it is imperative in order to emerge into a healthy and invigorated next chapter in life.

In making direct amends, “except when to do so would injure them or others,” * forgiveness and acceptance is essential. Steps 8 and 9 move an individual along the journey of forgiveness with humility, as well as assuredness. These two steps are crucial steps in the recovering process but cannot be addressed until there is an integration of authentic recovery through working the program. People attempting the spiritual journey of recovery frequently never get to this plateau, because they have not surrendered to the importance of the 1st step. Typically, there have been unfulfilled dreams and broken promises left behind in the proverbial wake of drinking. There has to be the supportive strength of AA and the 12 steps shoring up the individual who has become willing to make amends.

Sponsorship in AA is an absolute necessity for the guidance and sharing from which one learns. The sharing of strength and experience is what one who is in significant recovery (at least one year but more frequently with 5+ years of sobriety) does. A sponsor encourages sponsorees to stay away from all occasions of drinking and learn to listen to wisdom and experience demonstrated in AA meetings for how to manage difficult situations. A sponsor encourages the integration of the promises of AA that includes a “new freedom and a new happiness…that feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear…self seeking will slip away…our whole attitude and outlook on life will change—we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.” * The final three steps on the journey of recovery through 12-step spirituality encourage continued self-scrutinizing through personal inventory, praying “for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out” * and movement toward “having a spiritual awakening carrying the message of recovery to others, while practicing these principles in all activities and affairs.” * The journey of recovery through 12-step spirituality is a very

"Addiction is attachment. Attachment leads to suffering. Pain is a part of the human experience (as is joy), but suffering is optional. We can become unattached to the way things are and allow life to unfold as life does, accept it, and make the best of any given situation... Or we can hold on to our addictions and attachments, and suffer because things are not the way we wanted them to be. It's a choice. Change is the only constant. We can flow with it, or we can fight it.

The first may bring pain at times, the second will bring suffering." ~Shani Enns Energy Transformation Practitioner & Spiritual Coach shani@shanienns.com 816-739-9949 slow and naturally difficult process. People often believe that simply putting down the addictive substance or behavior will cure or fix the problem.

It has usually taken many years for an individual to realize that there is a problem. I believe that for every year of addictive use, it takes at least one month of actively working the 12-step program of recovery with a sponsor to achieve what is initially sought after, which is peace of mind and life as normal. Within the first six months of abstinence, Post Acute Withdrawal symptoms emerge, which almost look like the personality characteristics which had been attributed to drinking. It takes many, many months and years to reclaim what was lost. It takes surrender, willingness, patience, humility, gratitude and forgiveness. Integration of the spiritual nature of 12 -step recovery heals the hurt and opens up the doors of a new life.

The conclusion about the 12-step spiritual program of recovery is that if you surrender to the process, you will likely get sober and maintain a sobriety-based value system that will provide for a better life. All that is required for membership is the willingness to admit to powerlessness over alcohol and the unmanageability of life due to its use. (*) Alcoholics Anonymous: Referred to as the “Big Book” hosting the 12 steps in How it works and Into Action.

Dr. Jay Peters is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in counseling and addiction counseling. He has been applying his extensive education and counseling expertise for over 20 years in assisting individuals, couples, and families. He is in private practice at 8700 Indian Creek Parkway, Ste 220 in Overland Park, Kansas. Learn more about Dr. Peters by going to his website: www.drjaypeters.com, or calling (913) 339-9591.

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July 2009

Blinding Grief

By Delight Davis

some miracle, we too would survive.

I was leveled. Everything that I thought I knew about life and about God was now up for grabs. I

stand on our deck in the cool night air and moan and sway as I had in labor with our children, and John would rub my back just as he had then.

one petting my head.

I prayed for a spiritual teacher to work with. I had in mind maybe an 80-year-old Buddhist

had lived with a smugness that nothing like this

Simple things like going grocery shopping

monk or a wise, elderly Native American woman.

could happen to us because we lived a spiritual

became daunting– I would turn a corner and

Instead, I got a 22- year-old man from L.A.

life and tried to remain open to any lesson. So

see cheese or bananas, Matt’s favorite foods,

named Joey Klein. He was the perfect teacher for

maybe God was not really Santa Claus. I felt like a

and I would be struck with a lightening bolt of

me. I had meditated for years, but Joey helped

newborn baby, knowing nothing except a new

grief.

me connect with God in a way that I had not

humility.

Meeting new people could fill me with dread.

known was possible. I remember telling him, “I

I had never allowed myself to face the reality

The simple question “How many children do

thought I got it before, but now I really get it,”

On Friday the 13th of August, 2004, my

that something tragic could really happen. Now,

you have?” would leave me not knowing how

and I have had this thought many times since.

world crashed when I received a phone call that

the ugly door had swung open and the world

to answer. One time I answered “six,” only to

Developing a daily spiritual practice probably

our 24-year-old son, Matthew, had been found

seemed a very scary place.

have my five-year-old son correct me with

saved my life.

dead, never having awakened from his sleep the

I had ten years earlier faced my demons and

“Mom, you forgot– Matt died–it’s five.”

night before.

Several rules I set for myself early on: I would experience my emotional to its fullest, and I

It seemed impossible. Matthew was the healthi-

would not get stuck in it. I would affirm many

est person that I ever knew. How could Matthew,

times a day all the things that I was grateful for. I

the body builder who worked out daily, the life of

would not allow myself to dwell on blame or

the party, the prank phone caller, the man who

regret

took in stray animals and people, be dead? Ironi-

I would only do the things that I wanted to do. I

cally, for weeks my family had been on death

simplified our life down to the most basic of

vigil with my frail mother, who was receiving

necessities. I would do things that fed my soul,

Hospice care. She would live for another four

like walking in our woods, taking long baths,

months.

meditating, reading, and being with my family. I

or

what

“could

have

been.”

Many parents have had a bad nightmare of

would spend my time with people who could be

something happening to their child, and have

fully present and who thought of life as beautiful.

known the relief of awakening to say a sleepy

I would take as much time as I needed to grieve

prayer of thanks that it was only a dream.

conquered a deep, recurring depression that I

I didn’t want my children to be afraid, but I

That night, I went to bed saying a solemn

had known my entire life up to that point. A

also did not want to hide my grief. My kids

Each year has brought new peace, new chal-

prayer that I might awaken and it would not be

really bad day used to send me into thoughts of

would often witness me crying, and ask “Are

lenges, new lessons and new goals. The lessons

true that my son was dead. In the morning I

suicide, which I used as a warped form of com-

you o.k., Mom?” to which I would answer with

have been beautiful and priceless about what is

awoke, feeling as if I had been punched in the

fort as I reasoned that I could get out of my pain

my mantra– “No, but I will be.” Watching my

truly valuable in my life, and about how to love

stomach. Just three weeks earlier, we had cele-

at any time.

kids grieve was hellish. Holidays were the worst--

and live fully. So much of human drama seems

Christmas was depressing, Matt’s birthday and

so petty to me now.

this HUGE loss.

brated my birthday with all six of our kids. Mat-

So here I was, with this strange dilemma--I was

thew had given me a hibiscus plant. I loved it, but

certain that I wanted to live, but I knew it would

he was disappointed in his gift and said “I

be the most painful thing I would ever experi-

Amazingly, daily I would go into my woods to

tion to my life, to my family and friends, and to

looked everywhere for what I really wanted to

ence. I had reached a place where I truly loved

walk and meditate and I would find peace. There

God. Sometimes I am ambushed by grief, but it is

give you and could not find the right one. I’m

my life and yet I knew that nothing could chal-

was peace and comfort waiting for me whenever

just a reminder of how deeply I have loved, and

still going to buy it for you.”

lenge my sanity more than losing one of my

I went looking for them. At first, it would only last

now, instead of feeling that I’m in a wild and

children.

a little while, maybe a few minutes or hours, but

dangerous storm, it feels more like a cloud pass-

gradually it increased. One day I found myself

ing over the sun and then drifting away again.

truly laughing at something.

In the last five years, I have often stood under

The day of Matt’s funeral, his friend, Jason,

Mother’s Day almost unbearable.

I have a deep peace and an unshakable connec-

showed up with a Weeping Willow tree, and told

I had known others who had lost a child, and

me of his search with Matt for this tree for my

most had lived as a sort of shadow of their previ-

birthday. “I just had to get it for you,” Jason

ous self. They would say “You go on, but you

Things mystic and wonderful sometimes re-

said.

never fully recover,” but I was determined from

minded me of the thin veil between this world

now 25 feet tall, is strong and beautiful. It has

In our fog, the tree was forgotten. When we

the beginning to come back to life in a full and

and the next. Strange things happened often, like

weathered many storms, sometimes having to

got it to our home, it looked like a dead stick

meaningful way. I knew that to get to the other

a hummingbird hovering so close to my face that

bend, sometimes breaking a little. It didn’t just

because all the leaves had fallen off. We gath-

side of my pain, I would have to walk through

I could feel the air that his little wings displaced

survive–it is thriving, and so am I.

ered with friends and planted it by our creek,

fire.

and look into his tiny bright eyes. Once, while

my Weeping Willow tree and wept. Matt’s tree,

scattering some of Matt’s ashes and praying

The pain was enormous. It would burn physi-

talking about Matt with his girlfriend, a golden

Delight Davis is a mother of six. She home

that by some miracle it might survive. It became

cally in my throat and my chest and I would hear

leaf in a perfect heart shape blew into her lap. I

schools her youngest three children. Delight is

a symbol of hope for me as I stumbled through

myself wail sometimes like a wounded animal.

would almost daily find pennies in strange and

also a retired midwife, a health coach and energy

the next days and months. I was praying that by

My husband, John, was my rock. Often, I would

unlikely places. I began to be awakened by some-

worker. She can be reached at band-

July 2009 14

Evolving...

woman@aol.com

Are you Addicted to Stress?

By Joann Atchity

One of the defining characteristics of our modern culture is its fast-paced, high -stress nature. We are moving 90 miles an hour, multi-tasking and yet never, ever seem to “get it all done.” Is it possible that we are working to maintain high levels of stress because we are addicted to stress?

Do you say you need a vacation but never seem to take one? Do you have no time to care for yourself? Are you unable or unwilling to relax? If you answered yes to any of these, you may be addicted to stress.

An addiction is a dependence on a substance which when removed creates unpleasant symptoms of withdrawal.

Stress in its strictest definition is simply a response to stimulus. A biological definition is an autonomic response to either an actual or a perceived stressor. It’s that word perceived that holds the real key to understanding stress addiction. What we think of as emotions are biochemical neuropeptides, substances which are produced both in the brain and throughout the body and are the physical representation or manifestation of our thoughts and emotions.

In her 1998 book The Molecules of Emotion, Dr. Candace Pert outlines her groundbreaking work in the discovery of the opiate receptor and her further research into the understanding of how thoughts and feelings are a physical reality inside our bodies which have an impact on the system as a whole. Dr. Pert’s discovery of the opiate receptor led to the discovery of endorphins, which are our body’s own endogenous morphine— which is essentially the neuropeptide of joy. Other neuropeptides have been identified as well. We all know that our thoughts create a physical response in the body. A thought can make you blush, perspire, salivate and so on.

In her book Mother Daughter Wisdom, Dr. Christiane Northrup discusses how from our earliest experiences in-utero, our perceptions are beginning to be

shaped. If Mom is happy and all is well then blood flows readily through the placenta providing oxygen and nutrients and all our needs are met. We learn a sense of wellbeing. If Mom is unhappy and stressed, blood vessels in the placenta are constricted—creating perceptions of lack, scarcity and insecurity. We are so closely linked to our mother, we actually share her emotions. If our earliest perceptions are of being stressed it’s not difficult to see how this quickly becomes our set point.

How we perceive the world, our thoughts, literally creates both our reality and our physiology. When we perceive stress, we create and maintain levels of so called stress hormones, the neuropeptides of feeling stressed. This is the familiar “fight or flight” response which allows us to respond to danger or threat.

Over time, maintaining high levels of these biochemicals create an adaptation in the body and the “stressed feeling” becomes the norm and the stress hormones are the “drug” we are addicted to.

We then work to maintain the new norm and the result is what we are now familiar with as the stress-related illnesses of hypertension coronary artery disease and so many others.

If you have ever noticed that when you do something pleasant or nurturing for yourself, the drop in stress biochemicals, our “drug” can bring on feelings of dread and panic. This supports our belief that we can’t relax or be joyful. Paradoxically we become very uncomfortable with comfort. This is truly a symptom of being addicted to stress.

To support and maintain our perception of stress, we unconsciously create disorder and chaos. Debt, disharmonious relationships and disorder are all patterns that we create in support of our belief and perceptions of a stressful world. So, it’s easy to see how a system where we’ve set ourselves up to be uncomfortable with comfort then leads to addictions to things like alcohol and opiates. We use substances to alter our perceptions, temporarily, which can allow us to feel good, to feel comfortable, to relax.

How we perceive the world, our thoughts, literally creates both our reality and our physiology. When we perceive stress, we create and maintain levels of so called stress hormones, the neuropeptides of feeling stressed.

In his book Overcoming Addictions, A Spiritual Approach Dr. Deepak Chopra states his belief that all addictive behavior is born of our need to seek joy. Chopra's definition of an addict is a seeker of joy who is looking in the wrong places and has become sidetracked there. Candace Pert’s discovery of the opiate receptor and its high concentration in the frontal cortex has led to her belief that we are “hard wired” for bliss. But our addiction to stress essentially moves us out of higher brain functioning and into survival mode, shutting down our ability to problem solve, to plan and to feel good.

The most important aspect of solving any problem, including overcoming addiction is the “awareness” of the problem.

Louise L. Hay’s work has been in the area of consciously creating the life we choose by being aware of and choosing life-affirming thoughts or affirmations.

Science supports Louise’s work by showing how choosing new thoughts can literally rewire old patterns to replace them with new ones. Yesterday’s thoughts and feelings created today’s reality. Today’s thoughts and feelings create tomorrows reality.

Another very important aspect of changing perceptions is forgiveness. I believe that the very definition of forgiveness is to change our perception of an event or a trauma. As we release our judgment of it and begin to be grateful for an experience and the gifts of wisdom it brings, we release its power over us. It is powerfully healing to know we are never victims and we always have a choice of how and what we feel.

Both Dr. Chopra and Dr. Pert recommend meditation as one avenue for re-

ducing stress and overcoming our addiction to it. Dr. Pert explains that meditation has been shown to increase blood flow to the frontal cortex. Just as weight lifting pumps up the skeletal muscles, meditation pumps up the frontal cortex.

The development of the frontal cortex supports our ability to plan, problemsolve and allow ourselves to feel joy.

The more you meditate, the more synchronicities you will experience. This means you are actually participating in changing your world.

The most important thing to remember about meditation is you can’t do it wrong. Just set the intention to learn to meditate and begin.

Exercise, balancing the diet and creating a daily practice of experiencing joy are also part of Dr. Chopra’s plan for overcoming addiction.

If you’d like to explore more about being addicted to stress, Join us at Like a Day at the Beach for a screening of the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know? featuring Dr. Candace Pert on Sunday evening, July 26th at 5:30pm. For more info see the events listing in this issue of Evolving or visit www.likeadayatthebeach.com.

Joann Atchity RN BSN is the owner of Like a Day at the Beach, which is a new concept, the technology spa. LDB offers Jade Acupressure/Massage a hands free, oil-free alternative to traditional massage which is an affordable, relaxing and therapeutic form of body work. LDB also has a selection of books, audios and gifts from Hay House. Like a Day at the Beach is a mini spiritual retreat. See the ad on page 8.

Evolving… 15 July 2009

Internet. Instead, if you see a group that interests you, find out if they have introductory classes or services that you could attend to get to know them. Ask about their sexual and financial mores: Do the leaders or ministers sleep around? Do they make exorbitant salaries that are not commensurate with what their typical members make? Do they live ethical lives?

How to Find a Spiritual Community

by Mother Clare Watts

Spiritual communities provide benefits we can’t find in other social circles. Throughout known history, people have sought out such communities. And in these communities they revealed the most important and personal developments in their lives. Joys and sorrows, vows and confessions, hopes for a better life beyond life on earth, and fears of eternal abysses have all been shared in spiritual communities around the earth.

And yet, spiritual communities have also been the causes of much deep-set heartbreak and disappointment. Corruption and depravity have destroyed churches, synagogues and mosques, as well as numerous alternative spiritual communities. Then the faithful often scatter and some decide to never trust or be a part of a spiritual community again. How can you know if a spiritual community is likely to be strong and hold integrity or become corrupt and fall apart?

The quality and dedication of a spiritual community’s leadership is central to its success or failure. The most common cause of a spiritual community’s breakup is the fall of the leadership into sexual or financial scandal and opportunism. Spiritual leaders often are confronted with great temptation to abuse the trust their congregations or students have given them. Misguided or troubled members may offer sexual favors or naively believe that sexual relations with a spiritual leader will help them grow spiritually. Many religious and spiritual organizations keep no checks and balances on the moneys generated through their membership and services, and the leaders are allowed to take extravagantly from the generosity of others who trust them.

How then might you find the right spiritual community?

You can start looking at the websites of various groups and reading what they have to say about themselves. Do note that there are hate-groups and people who deride almost all small spiritual groups, so do not go by what they are saying on the

Spirit Treats the Causes of Addiction

By Becky Reed You’d be hard-pressed to find a person on the planet that is not addicted to something.

We run the gamut of being addicted to pharmaceutical drugs, street drugs, coffee, chocolate, sugar, food in general, sex, romance, movies, and alcohol. These addictions appear to be different from each other, but the same dynamic works in all of them. We are using something outside of ourselves to escape the fear we carry inside. We are trying to escape from ourselves. This will never be successful.

It is impossible. In realizing this fact we have a decision to make. We can either overcome or succumb.

Some addictions are not very harmful to our physical health. The main detriment we face there is psychological. We are still hiding, but we’re not endangering our lives. And those who use drugs to treat depression can perhaps function in society, but are they living to their highest capacity? I am not saying that no one should be taking these drugs, but they do carry a price. Eventually, if we want to live fully, we need to overcome the need to be on pharmaceutical support. Obviously, this may not be possible for everyone. Each needs to make July 2009 16 Evolving…

this evaluation for themselves. No judgment is involved. But should one decide that they want to make the effort to be free of addiction, there are a myriad of ways to do this.

Simply put, we need something else to turn to. That “something else” needs to be very positive, very strong and it has to resonate with us. It needs to hook us. What is going to

When you visit the communities you are considering joining, trust your heart. Is there an atmosphere of warmth and love that is also honest and open? Does this group help their members learn better communication skills? Do they teach how to develop a deeper relationship with God? You will want to know yourself enough to know what you are looking for. If you want a quite in-depth spiritual training program, then you will need to find a place that offers that. If you mostly want a social spiritual group, then look for that. Take your time, trust your heart, and treat yourself to a spiritual community with which to grow and deepen.

Mother Clare Watts is a mystic, ordained priest, Master Teacher, and Co-Director of an independent, mystical Christian Order and spiritual school that has spiritual centers, called Centers of Light, in 15 cities nationwide. To contact Mother Clare, e-mail DeaconChrista@CentersOFLight.org

In my youth I had to deal with depression.

I tried the common escapes, such as alcohol and drugs. I also thought being in a relationship would save me. Eventually, in my thirties, I joined a spiritual group where I gained a much larger perspective on life and learned how to “pump up” my experience of Spirit within. After a couple of years of working with the practices I learned there, I realized I was free of depression and would never be depressed again. I found out what to do when I experienced bad feelings. Therefore, I had no need to lean on chemicals of any sort to relieve my state.

I have had intensely painful experiences since then, but I knew they were temporary.

These addictions appear to be different from each other, but the same dynamic works in all of them. We are using something outside of ourselves to escape the fear we carry inside.

hook us depends on our personality, our make -up. I have a close friend who goes to Narcotics Anonymous. Their very effective twelvestep program is quite involved and intricate and it keeps his active mind engaged and focused. That, coupled with the act of surrender to a Higher Power, has done wonders for him and thousands of others.

Some events produce feelings that just take time to heal. But, Spirit always helps. The experience of being in the presence of Spirit is healing. It may still take time, but you know you are getting somewhere. You know the sun is just over the horizon.

Even for everyday stresses, Spirit is the relief and the problem solver. Spirit can make

what we think is an issue disappear. Most of what we think to be issues are self-created anyway. Maybe our mind is bored. Maybe we need something to worry about, because what else would our purpose in life be if we weren’t worrying about something? And then there is the perceived need to protect ourselves, thinking someone is trying to hurt us in some way.

This sort of thing can build up to the point where we turn to destructive activities feeling that they will relieve the pressure when we could have avoided the whole scenario by not letting our minds rule us, or our emotions.

Spirit has the power to overrule the mind and the emotions if we learn to let it. We need to learn to let Spirit heal. The form that Spirit may take for each of us is not important as far as Its ability to heal. What is important is the practice of using whatever works for us. Remembering to use it. Remembering that we are never stuck without a way out. There is always an answer. Get into receiving mode, forgiveness mode, gratitude mode. Remember, and addiction will be forgotten. Remember, you come first. You are precious. You deserve to be free.

Becky Reed helps people access Spirit to heal depression and addiction. She is versed in Eastern, Western, and secular perspectives.

You can reach her at clearspace@earthlink.net or call 816-2558685 and leave a message.

Spiritual Horoscope for July

horoscopes

by Aluna Michaels, M.A.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)

Happy birthday Cancer! It’s a powerful year for you. This month’s total eclipse wants to focus your identity and improve the way you come across to others. Meditation reveals reasons why people don’t see your inner strength and spiritual gifts. You’ll make changes that improve romantic and family relationships, as well as your career options. You’ll also be able to get to the root of old patterns that keep you from optimal health and wellness.

Renew your spiritual connection. Find different ways to meditate. Try tai chi or yoga. Read about other religions to find new ways of perceiving the Universe. Invigorate your relationship by meditating together or sharing spiritual ideas. If you’re single, make it a priority to find people who are on your same path. Don’t keep your quest for soul awareness a secret.

Time to have fun! Let your inner child come out and play. If you feel stuck, hang around with kids, play sports, do some type of art or be with pets.

You’ll feel the joy of your soul and might even rediscover talents you forgot you had. Most importantly, know that you’re not chained by your past. Karma is meant to be healed and forgiven, not relived forever! Trust that life is about overcoming the energies that bog you down. Let love flood your consciousness!

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) This month’s eclipse wants to heal old wounds and fears that keep you from truly bonding with others. Meditation will help pinpoint events that keep you from trusting loved ones and the Universe. You’ll let go of control issues so your heart will be more open to receive love. You’ll also deepen your intuition and you’ll know what to do to improve finances, as well as heal rifts in closest relationships.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) This month is about improving relationships. You often stay in friendships and love affairs because you feel it’s best for the other people—they need you, you rationalize. Take a radical stand and look at how these people affect YOU! It can be shocking to see you don’t actually like most people you spend time with. Let go of unimportant acquaintances and confront others to change ways of relating. Keep up your meditation to change yourself and your standards.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) You’ll overcome something you’ve been struggling with for a long time.

This month’s eclipse brings ingenious ideas to solve old problems. Or it could bring a burst of spiritual energy that clears out the issue. If you’re looking for work or a fresh career outlet, be open to opportunities that wouldn’t normally appeal to you. Investigate more deeply and see what positive surprises could be in store.

Don’t quit before the miracle!

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Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) You’re very happy-go-lucky, but sometimes you use a jovial attitude to avoid intimacy and commitment.

Meditate and write about experiences that taught you to be overly detached and superficial. Find out why it’s hard for you to stay focused on disciplines that will help you grow as a soul. The Universe doesn’t want to trap you!

Your devotion to some type of structure will end up giving you more freedom.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) This is a time of new insights into close relationships. What sorts of people are drawn to you? Do they know the real you? How can you reveal more of your creativity, individuality and spirituality? It’s important for you to be authentic. Surround yourself with those who can handle your true spiritual light! Meditating with your spouse or partner will take your bond to a new level.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) You’re a spontaneous person, but keep in mind your reactions to life might not be based on the present.

Meditation helps you see that people or situations that irritate you might have their roots in the past. Freeing yourself by forgiving these old events gives you even more joy of being in the moment! You’ll feel closer to family members. You’ll also achieve more at work.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Do you live from your gut? Strengthen your intuition by following its guidance. Too much of your life can be

controlled and planned out. Your real self is your immediate “yes!” to life— not the censured response that you think will please others. Let people fall away who claim to be your friends but can’t handle the authentic you.

You deserve to be surrounded by those who love the power of your soul!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Don’t make any immediate changes with work or career. Meditate on your opportunities. Consult people who give level-headed advice and know your goals. It’s probably best to wait until August when you’ll be thinking more clearly. For now, just ponder and examine the pros and cons of your options. It’s also good to look at your spending habits. Often when you feel stuck and can’t make a change, you spend money. See this habit as the defense mechanism that it is!

Aluna Michaels is a second-generation astrologer and soul evolutionist practitioner. She also holds a Masters in Spiritual Counseling and has been teaching and consulting for more than two decades. Aluna is available for appointments in her home or by phone. Call (248) 583-1663 or visit www.alunamichaels.com

We’ve Redesigned Our Website!

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Let go of being hard on yourself!

You’re so brilliant that you hold yourself to impossible standards. Being able to conceptualize a “perfect” life makes you feel like you’re always coming up short. Try meditating on gratitude. Write down wonderful things in your life. Write down simple things too. Your self-esteem will shift and you’ll be able to improve your life with a full heart, rather than as a frustrated idealist. Money issues improve too, as you read about and focus on prosperity principles.

Check out these new features: www.evolvingmagazine.com

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All new design Added a blog (www.evolvingmagazine.com/blog) Improved reader survey All back issues now open full screen—no need to download RSS News Feeds for Natural Health News Put an interactive event calendar on the site A links page to our advertisers’ websites

events July 5 Movie Screening Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

5:30 pm. This entertaining and inspirational movie hosted by best-selling author Louise L. Hay and directed by Emmy award winner Michael Goorjian gives penetrating insights into her fascinating life story; and also provides clarity on how her views on self-esteem, abundance, and the metaphysical causes behind physical ailments were developed. A number of luminaries in the fields of self-help and health and spirituality and new thought—including Doreen Virtue, Gregg Braden, Wayne W. Dyer, Gay Hendricks, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Leon Nacson, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Candace B. Pert, Cheryl

ONGOING Every Thursday, 7-9 p.m.

RECLAIMING YOUR LIFE AFTER LOSS Sometimes life deals us blows that can feel enormous, such as the death of a loved one. Join us for a weekly candlelight meditation with live music by Johnny Ricker as we create a sacred space of deep peace.

We will discuss skills for simplifying life, making time for healthy grieving and finding peace in times of intense pain. $10 suggested donation Unity Temple on the Plaza, www.unitytemple.com No enrollment required.

For questions, contact Delight Davis at bandwoman@aol.com or 913-369-2738.

Every Tuesday, 7-9 p.m.

THE BIG CHILL-- Meditation to Banish Stress Come and relax with us for a weekly guided meditation with accompanying live music by Johnny Ricker.

We will suggest simple skills to reduce stress and help redirect thought patterns to provide relief for anxiety and help you to create a calmer, more balanced life. $10 suggested donation Unity Temple on the Plaza, www.unitytemple.com No enrollment required.

For questions, contact Delight Davis at bandwoman@aol.com or 913-369-2738.

Evolving… 18 July 2009

Richardson, Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz, and many others share their personal stories about Louise’s impact on their lives Admission is FREE, Donation to Hay Foundation, greatly appreciated. 11032 Quivira (NW Corner, College and Quivira) 913-327-3938 www.likeadayatthebeach.com Weekends of: July 10-12 and 24-26 Aura-Soma Color Care System Level 1 Foundation Course Fri. Eve. 6-9PM, Sat.& Sun. 9AM5PM Instructor: Leiola Reeder, certified Aura-Soma teacher/ consultant. This course is part of the International A.S.I.A.C.T. England, certification for Aura-Soma practitioners and offers C.E.U.'S for Massage Therapists. Level One Training opens the door to a deeper understanding of the power of color and light energies. Call Leiola at: 816217-3722 to reserve your space.

July 11—12 Abounding River Workshop Introduces people to the unfamiliar view of life. Unity Temple on the Plaza; Love offering accepted. RSVP: 913-972-3240 or http:// cafegratitudekc.eventbrite.com July 12 Movie Screening Dr. Wayne Dyer’s The Shift. 5:30pm.

In this inspiring new movie, you’ll enjoy an engaging, heartwarming and humorous tale of transformation on vacation. You’ll marvel at the beauty of the windswept ocean scenery. Share the characters’ delight as they receive the most precious gift— permission to follow their hearts.

Hear Wayne say, “Don’t die with your music still in you,” and see everyone set free to join the orchestra!

Running time 2 hrs. Admission is FREE, gratuity appreciated 11032 Quivira (NW Corner, College and Quivira) 913-327-3938 www.likeadayatthebeach.com July 13 & 27 Clarify Your Life Purpose Discover the threads of meaning that run through your life. 6:30-8:30 pm.

House of Menuha. 801 E. 77th St, KCMO. Marlene Wine Chase, Facilitator. Suggested Offering $15-$25 each

Kacico Dance, Kansas City Contemporary Dance, presents “The Song and Dance Project 2009" July 22 at the Fringe Festival. Performers: Kathryn Cowan and Dave Patmore. Photo by Aaron Lindberg. session. RSVP: (816)444-2434 or www.menuha.org July 14 The Force Is In You: Spirituality in the Movies In this two-series lively, interactive class (also on July 21), we will be examining popular movies that explore spiritual concepts. What is the Force? Are we living in the "Matrix?"

Is there a "Secret?" Do any popular movies accurately depict Heaven?

Come prepared to be entertained and enlightened. Facilitated by spiritual movie buff Steffany Barton, RN. Unity, 10300 Antioch Rd. 7-9 p.m.

Love offering. www.angelsinsight.com July 16 A Gentler Way Learn gentler ways to achieve your longings of comfort, relaxation and pampering possible in a busy life.

6:30-8:30 pm. House of Menuha. 801 E. 77th St, KCMO. Kathleen Corn, Facilitator. Suggested Offering $15$25. RSVP: (816)444-2434 or www.menuha.org July 18 Experience an ITS Energetic Transformation session!

Stressed? Tired? Fed up?

This unique energy work offers stress relief, emotional freedom, mental clarity and more.

Go beyond healing and transform your life! Sat, July 18, 11:00 – 6:00 15 minutes / $15 Aquarius, 3936

Broadway; Diana Henry, 913-488-8162 www.instituteoftransformationalstudies.com July 18 Free Your Life from Sugar Addiction Are you constantly craving sweets and want to understand why? Do you want to gain control without deprivation? Want off the emotional roller coaster? If you need or want to improve your health, you CAN be successful at kicking the sugar habit.

Presented by Whole Body, Whole Food, Whole Health LLC. Class Fee: $10.00 Saturday July 18, 1-230 pm Crescent Springs, 7317 W 80th, OP KS For more details contact Sherree Ross at 816-808-6606 or www.SherreeRoss.com July 19th 5:30 pm Movie Screening: The Celestine Prophecy Based on James Redfield's worldwide best-selling novel, The Celestine Prophecy is a spiritual adventure film chronicling the discovery of ancient scrolls in the rainforests of Peru. The prophecy and its nine key insights predict a worldwide awakening, arising within all religious traditions, that moves humanity toward a deeper experience of spirituality. Admission is FREE, gratuity appreciated 11032 Quivira (NW Corner, College and Quivira) 913-327-3938 www.likeadayatthebeach.com

events

July 21 Divine Feminine & Mental Wellness: Goddess Healing for Natural Minds Ritual, information sharing & group discussion to compassionately address mental turmoil. 6:30-8:30 pm.

House of Menuha. 801 E. 77th St, KCMO.Sue Westwind, Facilitator.

Suggested Offering $15-$25. RSVP: (816)444-2434 or www.menuha.org July 21 The Force Is In You: Spirituality in the Movies A continuation of the July 14 class, we will be examining popular movies that explore spiritual concepts. What is the Force? Are we living in the "Matrix?" Is there a "Secret?" Do any popular movies accurately depict Heaven? Come prepared to be entertained and enlightened. Facilitated

by Steffany Barton, RN, who is a spiritual movie buff. Unity, 10300 Antioch Rd. 7-9 p.m. Love offering. www.angelsinsight.com July 22 Kacico Dance at the KC Fringe Festival: "The Song and Dance Project 2009" A captivating combination of live song and dance. July 22nd 8pm, 24th 6:30pm, 25th 8pm, 26th 2pm at Kacico Studios West; 2540 W Pennway KCMO 64108

Evolving staff Connie Humiston (L) and Karen Cowdry at the premier of Enlighten Up! at the Tivoli on June 12.

Purchase Fringe button and tickets at the door. 816-578-4721 artdir@kacicodance.org www.kacicodance.org July 25 RAW BLISS FEST Conscious Health & Lifestyle Festival High Vibes - Music - Food - Speakers - Demos Evolving is proud to sponsor the Raw Bliss Fest in Parkville on July 25th from Noon to 7 p.m. For more info on this conscious health and lifestyle festival, see the ad on the back cover of this issue or http:// rawblissfest.eventbrite.com. Purchase tickets online or at Green

Judy Kirkpatrick, Jamie Rich, Margo Kepford, and Connie Humiston at the premier of Enlighten Up! at the Tivoli on June 12.

Acres and Nature's Pantry. Advance tickets are a bargain at $10.

Gate $15.

July 26th 5:30pm Movie Screening WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW?!

This film is part documentary, part story, and part elaborate and inspiring visual effects and animations.

The protagonist, Amanda, played by Marlee Matlin, finds herself in a fantastic Alice in Wonderland experience when her daily, uninspired life literally begins to unravel, revealing the uncertain world of the quantum field hidden behind what we consider to be our normal, waking reality. Featuring Dr. Candace Pert along with many other scientists and experts in physics and metaphysics.

Admission is FREE, gratuity appreciated 11032 Quivira (NW Corner, College and Quivira) 913-327-3938 www.likeadayatthebeach.com August 12 Cleanse With Friends™ Please join us and cleanse your body in this whole and healthy foods cleanse. We will educate, give recipes, guide and give continuing support throughout this 3 week cleanse.

The start date is Saturday, August 15th but the kick-off meeting is Wednesday, August 12th at 6 PM. Contact Kelly D. Murphy at 913-6347553 or for more information go to www.hypnokelly.com and click on News and Events.

August 20 Tuning In Tuning In is a metaphysical 12-week course that will teach you how to tune in to your spirit for guidance and inner direction. If you are interested in stress management, improving relationships, accelerating in spiritual growth and connecting with your spiritual support system that is always around you, then join us! The starting date is Thursday, August 20th and is every Thursday at 6:15 PM for 12 weeks. Contact Kelly D. Murphy at 913-634-7553 or for more information go to www.hypnokelly.com and click on News and Events.

August 20 Free Your Life from Sugar Addiction Are you constantly craving sweets and want to understand why? Do you want to gain control without deprivation? Want off the emotional roller coaster? If you need or want to improve your health, you CAN be successful at kicking the sugar habit.

Presented by Whole Body, Whole Food, Whole Health LLC Class Fee: $10.00 Thursday August 20, 7-8:30 pm Lizzie's Loft (above Fat Matt's Vortex) 411 N 6th KCKS 66101 For more details contact Sherree Ross at 816-808-6606 or www.SherreeRoss.com August 29—30 Kansas City Spirit Fair Exploring Spirituality.

Best Western Conference Center 501 Southwest Blvd KC KS 66103; Saturday 12noon-7pm and Sunday 12noon-6pm $8 daily admission; Psychic Readings, Hands on Healing, Aura photos, Crystals, herbs, books, jewelry, lectures on spiritual topics. www.SpiritFair.com

Event Listings $18 for the first 25 words; $.25 a word over 25. Email listing to jill@evolvingmagazine.com.

All events are due by the 15th of the month prior to publication.

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