How Can We Help Children with Disabilities, Emotionally?

By Nicole Moehring

EMOTIONS ARE PART OF EVERY CHILD’S LIFE. BUT WHEN A CHILD WITH A DISABILITY ENCOUNTERS UNFAMILIAR SITUATIONS, THEY MIGHT NOT FULLY COMPREHEND THEM AS THEY MAY NOT KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THEIR EMOTIONS. AS A RESULT, THEY MAY BE OVERWHELMED BY A REACTION THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND AND BECOME HYPEREMOTIONAL (EXTREMELY OR OVERLY EMOTIONAL). THIS OVERFLOW OFTEN LEADS TO ANXIETY, SELF-INJURIOUS BEHAVIORS, MELTDOWNS, OR TANTRUMS, TO NAME A FEW OUTCOMES.

Why is it important to consistently use specific strategies and tools with your child?

Many parents or caregivers of children with disabilities are familiar with the common desire for routine and consistency. But unfortunately, children aren’t always able to communicate what they need or want, especially nonverbal ones. So, we must educate ourselves about what tools are available and the most beneficial for children.

We then need to learn to effectively use the tools we think work best for to decrease the chance of self-injurious behaviors, meltdowns, etc. Keep in mind there are many tools, and each child is different. Not every child responds in the same way. You may have to try other methods to find the best approach to helping them regulate and identify their emotions. Here are some ideas you can try at home:

Create a safe environment for your child

Children with exceptional needs require an environment where they feel safe, secure, and loved. Children need to know they have people in their lives they can trust to protect them, make them feel safe, and help with their emotions. As parents and caregivers, we need to provide this kind of environment.

Use daily routines to help avoid meltdowns

How can a daily routine help your child? A routine means your child knows what to expect; they grow familiar with the typical sequence of events for the day. Children with exceptional needs can become overwhelmed even during seemingly simple activities like getting dressed. Creating a daily schedule with pictures for a child to follow can reduce stress and provide a predictable routine.

When creating daily routines for your child, add activities they like to do after an activity they may not like so much. This can alleviate your child’s anxiety and give them something to look forward to as a distraction.

Use a positive reward system

A great way to regulate behavior is to use a positive reward system. I have used this methodology for years with my son, and it’s proven successful. The best approach, I have found, is to use small time frames because children often cannot comprehend time well. The most important thing is never offering a negative “reward” or taking anything away.

For example, I ask my son each day what he is working toward. One day, it may be a special meal he gets to choose or extra screen time. Over time, I added that he could earn a bigger reward for multiple days. For instance, he loves going to Starbucks. So, after seven positive days in a row, he would earn the lemonade from Starbucks. A rewards system is meant to be tailored to your child and changed to meet their needs at any time.

Spend quality time with your child

One of the best things we can do as a parent is spend quality time with our children. Whether we realize it or not, children see the stress parents are under while trying to juggle their everyday lives. It’s important to separate work from home life each night. We live in a digital world, but we must take time to disconnect. Make it a priority to turn off all electronic devices and have quality family time a few nights a week. Play games, watch your child’s favorite movie, go for a walk, or play a board game. Spending quality time together reminds your child how important they are to you.

Teach children how to express their emotions

This is not an easy task, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s best to begin teaching your child how to express their emotions when they are young. Start by giving them words to express their feelings. Next, provide a face expressing a feeling visually with the emotion’s name next to it on your practice identification board. Next, lead by example. Show how to find healthy ways to express your feelings through art, sports, music, a sensory room, talking with a safe person, or watching your favorite show.

Listen to your child

If your child asks to talk to you, stop what you are doing and make the time. Children with exceptional needs can have emotions that are big or small, and some we will never understand. Nonetheless, we need to let them know they matter and we care. Always validate their feelings. Children need to know they have someone they can trust, and this is not earned overnight.

Nicole Moehring’s daughter and son, who has Fragile X Syndrome and autism, were both victims of sexual abuse. As a mother suffering through this unbelievable nightmare, Nicole witnessed extreme differences in the justice system of how her daughter was believed and treated well when her son was not. She also quickly recognized the distinct differences in recovery, trying to find support, and resources. Nicole and her daughter Maci founded Voices of Change 2018 (VOC18), a nonprofit organization, to begin making much needed change for children with disabilities and their families.

VOC18 is a national organization piloting groundbreaking programs in Ohio. VOC18 is in the process of developing preventative education programs for children with disabilities while empowering parents and guardians. By sharing their lived experiences and through collaborations with other individuals, mental health professionals, law enforcement, and organizations, they are building a foundation of advocacy, abuse awareness, resources, and support for children with disabilities.

Website: www.voicesofchange2018.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/voicesofchange2018/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/voices-of-change-2018/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/voicesofchange2018/_created/

Email: info@voicesofchange2018.com