Exeposé Issue 637, 16 March 2015 by Exeposé

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Jobs at risk in Uni bid to save money

16 March 2015 • Issue 637 • Twitter: @Exepose • www.facebook.com/Exepose • Free

•Redundancies likely in

transformation scheme to save Uni £10 million •Unions express concerns Gemma Joyce Editor

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES staff at the University are facing signi�icant changes as part of a programme that aims to save £10m, with applications for voluntary redundancy closing last Friday. Exeposé recently reported on the announcement of the Exeter Transformation programme, which aims to improve the University’s resilience to a potentially hostile �inancial environment after the general election. The Professional Service Transformation will form a key part of the overall Transformation scheme, which is expected to make up £10m of the substantial savings the University needs to make over the next three years to continuing investing. A £2.4m surplus is planned to be achieved from

Features

“They waved pictures of my children at me.” Moazzam Begg on his time at Guantanamo

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the Professional Service Transformation in 2014/15 alone. The project aims to “provide academic colleagues and students with the very best service to support their learning, teaching and research, reduce levels of silo working, and utilise new technology to streamline processes,” and could see signi�icant changes to the size of the Professional Services team. Some staff have expressed fears for their own job security. One non-academic member of staff who could be affected by the Professional Services Transformation has claimed that all of the jobs of those in their department were at risk. Geoff Pringle, Chief Operating Of�icer, held various talks throughout last week in which Professional Services staff were invited to ask...

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The Sabbs so far...

With just 14 of 46 manifesto points complete, we examine the Sabbs’ progress as they approach the end of their term Page 3

Fashion issue From Milan to Paris, London & New York: what’s hot & what’s not in 2015

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Photo: Edwin Yeung

Arts Interviewed: The Curious Incident‘s national tour manager

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University news from beyond Exeter

Oklahoma Uni fraternity racism

Women’s Varsity moves to Twickers

2m animals used for research in UK

OKLAHOMA University has closed down a fraternity after a video reportedly showed a number of members engaging in racist chanting. The footage shows men in tuxedos singing that there will never be a black member of the fraternity and alluding to lynching. It includes the phrase “There will never be a n***** in SAE.” The video surfaced after being posted online by the black student organisation Unheard, alongside the words: “Racism is alive at the University of Oklahoma.” The University’s president, David Boren, was quick to voice his disapproval on Twitter, saying: “This behaviour will not be tolerated and is contrary to all our values. We will be investigating.”

THIS week it was announced that the annual Women’s Rugby Union Varsity Match between Oxford and Cambridge Universities will take place at Twickenham Stadium. The event will mark the �irst time the women’s match has received the same billing as the men’s, taking place at the 82,000 capacity stadium. Katie Holmes, Cambridge University WRFC president said: “It’s very exciting times, I can’t believe that we’re moving. It’s an historic move. “I think the �irst few years we may �ind it dif�icult, we may need to �ind our feet, but when it comes to it, you’re going to see a fantastic game and everyone should be there to support the women.”

Uni aid for Boko Haram refugees

NEARLY two million animals were used for scienti�ic research in British universities in one year, with campaigners saying many were subject to “distressing and disturbing” procedures. Home Of�ice statistics show that there were 4,017,758 animals used in tests in the UK during 2013, with some 1.8 million of these used in university-licensed scienti�ic research. Just six universities were responsible for a quarter of the animals used according to �igures released. Topping the list was the University of Edinburgh, using 241, 865 animals. Experiments were performed mainly on mice and rats but other animals used included monkeys, sheep, rabbits and �ish.

SNP ministers’ decision to cut research funding by £13 million has locked Scottish universities in a furious row. The decision to cut the funding came only days after Nicola Sturgeon’s new economic strategy was published. The report stated that supporting world class research was “at the heart of the Scottish Government’s ambitions for Scotland.” However, Scottish universities only receive public money for research judged to be “world leading.” The Universities Scotland convener declared: “It is very dif�icult not to feel like universities have become victims of their own success.”

First new UK Uni to Prof apologises for open in 30 years offensive email

HEADS of universities in the UK are receiving an average of £260,000 per year, with 18 individuals receiving pay rises over 10 per cent in 2013/14, according to a report by University and College Union (UCU). Universities have recently come under scrutiny, with Labour calling for fees in England to be capped at £6,000 per year, prompting warnings of �inancial damage from university leaders. Exeter’s own Vice Chancellor, Sir Steve Smith, said: “There’s a real concern within universities that there’s a gap which will need to be �illed.” Smith featured on the list of the top ten vicechancellors, and Exeposé have reported that his annual earnings, performance-related remuneration and pension contribution came to £400,000 in 2013/14. The highest earner was Neil Gorman, Vice Chancellor of Nottingham Trent University, earning £623,000 in 2013/14.

THE American University of Nigeria is helping to feed the 270,000 people displaced at the hands of Boko Haram and its regime of terror in the country. Up to 400,000 internally displaced people have taken refuge in Yola, the capital of the northern Adamawa state – where the University resides – one of three regions in a state of emergency. Though the population, normally 300,000, has almost doubled, only a small percentage are living in government run refugee camps where conditions are poor. The president of the University has said that some Yola residents “have as many as 50 displaced persons living with them in their homes. “Women are being supplied with food at a local church: each woman represents an extended family of about 20.”

THE New Model in Technology & Engineering (NMITE) will be the �irst British University to open in 30 years. Based in Hereford, the institution will begin with its �irst intake of 300 engineering, technology and science students in 2017. Funded by philanthropists and private business funding, the institution is currently waiting to be accorded full university status. Currently representatives are seeking advice from the University of Bristol and the University of Warwick about the design of courses.

A GERMAN professor has apologised for an email she sent to a male Indian student which cited India’s “rape problem” as the reason for turning down his internship application. She said “Unfortunately I don’t accept any Indian male students.” We hear a lot about the rape problem in India which I cannot support,” Prof Annette G. Beck-Sickinger, of the Institute of Biochemistry at Leipzig University, wrote in the email. The email caused a sensation on social media after screen-shots were posted on Quora. Many initially thought it was a hoax; however, the professor con�irmed its authenticity to Huf�ington Post India.

Uni heads earn an average of £260k

Stories contributed by: Maria Gomez, News Team, and Ciaran Willis, Screen Editor

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What have the Sabbs done this year? Hannah Butler News Editor TWO thirds of the way through their tenure, the current Sabbatical Of�icers have completed just 14 of their combined 46 manifesto points. Since taking on the roles last August, all four Sabbs have overseen multiple changes. However, with 32 pledges yet to be ful�illed - and two Sabbs only having completed two out of 12 manifesto points - much remains to be done before the new of�icers begin work in July. Speaking to Exeposé, Guild President Rachael Gillies noted the success of the Guild’s Christmas campaign as a highlight of her tenure, alongside the planned launch of a loyalty card scheme in Guild outlets and the introduction of a “President’s Update” at University Council. Ben Street also noted an 11 per cent increase in students running to become Academic Reps, as well as the creation of a course costchecker, allowing students to calculate hidden course costs. Meanwhile, Sabbatical leader for democracy Matt Bate oversaw a record-breaking Sabb Election turnout, and expressed “huge thanks” to staff teams who helped to introduce the Student Ideas system this year. Gillies and Hawkins oversaw the #NeverOK antisexual harassment campaign, while University Provost Janice Kay recently signed the Time to Change pledge to tackle mental health stigma. Of the four Sabbs, VP Education Ben Street has completed the highest number of manifesto points, with seven pledges ful�illed. These include the University’s ‘Research Uncovered’

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series: securing £2,700 from the University’s Annual Fund, Street has ensured the series will continue for the next three years. Street has also secured more study spaces for students – a £1.2 million library expansion this summer is set to create 300 additional spaces, while 56 extra spaces will be introduced for the summer exam period. In the face of rising student numbers, Street also believes he has ful�illed his pledge of “preventing overcrowding in lectures and seminars.” However, despite Street’s pledge to encourage “more variety of assessment within courses,” the University is not currently undertaking any formal review of its assessment methods. Guild President Rachael Gillies has completed three of her pledges: the introduction of online Sabb manifestos, the creation of a ‘Guild’ tab on ExeHub, and the introduction of ‘Sabb Corner’ from 2-3pm every Thursday.

Manifestos are written to resolve identi�ied problems and supply solutions Rachael Gillies, Guild President Gillies also cited January’s ‘Puppy Room’ as a completed manifesto point – adding, however, that this could be disputed. Yet in terms of what the pledge set out to achieve, Gillies argued that the project was a success, with around 235 students visiting over a four-hour period. VP Activities Matt Bate has ful�illed two of his 12 manifesto points, securing £3,000 from the Arts and Culture

department for society grants and the employment of a new A&V staff member. Bate has also recently secured the Terrace as a student activities space for part of the week, and has lobbied hard to preserve student music provision at the University. However, work remains to be done on setting up an employability fund, as well as improving postgraduate welcome packs and introductions. VP Welfare and Diversity Kate Hawkins has also ful�illed two of her 12 pledges. Listing an increased range of accommodation prices as one of her completed manifesto points, she has also overseen the addition of �ive landlords to the national Unipol/AfS accreditation scheme. In addition, Hawkins has worked towards improving Wellbeing Centre waiting times, with the introduction of 15-minute telephone triage consultations and a four to six week cap on waits. However, student consultations over coming weeks will con�irm how successful these changes have been, with an Exeposé investigation in Issue 634 suggesting waits for mental health support at the University remain high. Rachael Gillies commented: “Manifestos are the means by which students mandate their Sabbatical Of�icers, and also the way in which they hold us accountable for the work we do on their behalf. Manifestos are written to resolve identi�ied problems and supply solutions. The exact nature of the solution may differ from manifesto to delivery, but will always be targeted at the original issue.” The Sabbs’ full manifestos and current progress can be found at www.exeterguild.org/sabbs.

Manifesto points completed: Rachael Gillies, Guild President

Ben Street, VP Education

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Kate Hawkins, Matt Bate, VP Activities VP Welfare & Diversity

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Other achievements: 11% more Student stu Ideas £3000

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#NeverOK

Students “misled” by teaching day plans Sarah Gough Arts Editor

THE extension of the teaching day will now be implemented as a permanent change, despite the University’s initial promise of a pilot scheme. The planned extension for 2015/16 onwards will see classes running from 8:30am-6:30pm and has been met with student and staff dissatisfaction. Despite promises to trial the alterations for a year, the University revealed in a meeting on 12 March, that they instead intend to implement the lengthening of the academic day on a permanent basis, with mitigations being the only aspect subject to review. The meeting was chaired by Guild President Rachael Gillies and a num-

ber of student representatives most likely to be affected by the longer day - including Mature Students, Student Parents, Commuters and Music - were in attendance. They assembled alongside senior University and Guild staff members to discuss proposed mitigations.

Permanent changes to the teaching day are proposed for September 2015 University Spokesperson These mitigations include an improvement of lecture capture, extending campus services such as the Family Centre and investigating increased

parking facilities, with priority to student parents and commuters. Discounted space for societies forced to convene at weekends was discussed, as was a review into the pricing of certain campus facilities. The University have also committed to reviewing the structure of the academic year at large. A University spokesman said: “The meeting was very productive and the mitigations will be reviewed in December 2015 in an ongoing process of continuous improvement.” Sam Johnson, Music Society Executive, commented: “It was a positive meeting in that the University were keen to listen to and act on suggestions of how to mitigate the effects of the changes. However, their explanation that the new timetable is here to stay, despite the description of next

year as a ‘pilot’ year was very disappointing, as many students have been misled by this.”

Their explanation that the new timetable is here to stay, despite the description of next year as a ‘pilot’ year, is very disappointing Sam Johnson, Music Soc Exec The University’s overall communication of the change has been widely criticised. Whilst initial meetings with students featured in the University in Brief newsletter, students complained of its poor advertisement and last minute nature – only one email for a

student consultation only reaching inboxes on the morning of the �irst meeting on 25 November. Rachael Gillies, Guild President, said: “The Students’ Guild continues to oppose the planned extensions to the teaching day. While we recognise the factors underpinning the University’s decision to extend the teaching day, I will continue to support students to �ight for measures which will minimise the detrimental impact on their student experience.”

- On 8 December Exeposé reported on the Uni ignoring student anger at the proposed ‘pilot’ scheme - The Guild did and continue to oppose the changes

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Jobs to go to save £10m

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 …questions about the coming changes. Exeposé was denied access to these meetings. Pringle met with Exeposé last week alongside Jane Chafer, Director of Communications and Corporate Affairs and James Hutchinson, Senior Responsible Of�icer for the Professional Services Transformation.

In the past this money would have come from the government James Hutchinson, Senior Responsible Of�icer for PST “In the past this money would have come from the government. Now universities have to �ind the money themselves. To protect the things we care about, the student experience and research, we’ve got to �ind that money,” said Hutchinson, who insisted the changes would prevent the University from having to act in a reactionary manner to a “challenging environment” in the future. Pringle spoke at length about the positive effects the Professional Services Transformation could have on the University - the £10m savings created can be used on projects like the Forum and he claims the streamlining of the current seven teams into one will make for a more ef�icient service that could help those working within them better develop their careers. Asked whether it was inevitable that staff would be let go, Pringle said that “a change in the size, shape and skill set of our workforce” was an-

ticipated, but that it would be a “long process.” The University is currently taking a break in staff recruitment and many staff are employed on �ixed term contracts. “It’s about reshaping,” said Pringle, adding: “there’s no target for the number of people to lose.” A joint statement from the UCU and Unison branches at the University said: “There are some elements of the PST that the campus unions welcome. For too long many categories of PS staff have lacked clear career development and progression opportunities and there are certainly work processes that can be re�ined and improved across the University. However, staff are understandably concerned about the headline �igure for savings of £10 million within Professional Services by August 2017 and are anxious to know what PST will mean for their future job security. Within these parameters it remains to be seen whether the result will be a better service for students and staff. The campus unions are ready to engage in meaningful negotiation about these changes so staff can be reassured that their concerns will be respected and the needs of students actively considered.” Rachael Gillies, Guild President, said: “The Students’ Guild empathises with University staff who are undergoing a stressful time during the Professional Services Transformation. Sabbatical of�icers and Students’ Guild staff are working closely with the University to understand the implications of the PST in order to manage any potential impact on the student experience which remains our highest priority.”

Chancellor inspires international pupils Susannah Keogh News Team EXETER’S Chancellor Floella Benjamin recently spoke to school pupils in the United Arab Emirates about university and education. Baroness Benjamin, who has announced she is stepping down as University Chancellor after ten years in the post, told senior students to use their education to change the world. In addition to speaking to the senior school, Floella also visited the younger students at the Victoria International School of Sharjah where she praised their English language and imaginative abilities.

Drawing on her role as Exeter’s Chancellor, students listened to her advice on how to adapt to the transition from school to university. But the Baroness also spoke of the need for students to be good leaders and citizens. Her inspiring message included not letting one’s background prevent “goodness in your heart” and to be “courageous enough to do things differently in an ethical way.” Baroness Benjamin has been the University Chancellor since 2006 and has attended 172 degrees ceremonies and personally met over 35,000 students. The 2016 Winter Graduation will be her last role as Chancellor.

- On 2 March It was announced that Baroness Floella Benjamin will be stepping down from her role as chancellor - 2016 Winter Graduation will be the last ceremony she presides - She has attended 172 ceremonies, speaking to over 35,000 students during her tenure.

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16 MARCH 2015 |

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Guild hosts #NeverOK vigil Rachel Gelormini Online News Editor

ON Wednesday 18 March a candle-lit vigil will take pace from 5pm in aid of the #NeverOK campaign. Supported by the Chaplaincy, Voice, FemSoc, SAFE and the Devon Rape Crisis Service, the vigil will give students the opportunity to express solidarity for victims of sexual harassment, assault, rape or violence. Beginning at the Forum Piazza, participants will begin by lighting candles before moving on to the city centre. Those attending will be given the opportunity to share their experiences and show support for the values of the campaign. It has also been suggested that an item of red clothing should be worn to show support, and red ribbons will be supplied to symbolise the ‘suffering in silence’ that

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victims of sexual violence and assault face. The event will also be fundraising for SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone), a local charity which ran the women’s refuge in Exeter before it was closed down last year.

The #NeverOK vigil is inspired by events around the world, bringing people together in support of a strong and valuable message Kate Hawkins, VP Welfare and Diversity

Speaking about the vigil, Kate Hawkins, VP Welfare and Diversity, said: “The #NeverOK vigil is inspired by events around the world bringing people together in support of a strong and valuable message. This event will

provide a very public opportunity for students to demonstrate their determination to stand against sexual harassment, violence and abuse and I look forward to sharing this special occasion with them.” The campaign was launched last year by Kate Hawkins and Rachael Gillies, Guild President, to spread the message that sexual harassment is ‘Never OK’ - that “staff and students have the right to live and study in a safe and supportive environment.” The #NeverOK campaign will be presented by Hawkins and Gillies at the AMOSSHE conference in Newcastle in July, as a model of good practice. It is hoped that this will help educate other university groups on how they might begin to tackle sexual harassment in their institutions, using the success and lessons of the campaign here at Exeter.

BBC Sound of 2015 comes to the Lemmy Fiona Potigny News Team

YEARS & YEARS, winners of the BBC Sound of 2015 award, will be playing in Exeter on Wednesday 3 June as part of their UK headline tour. Katy Thomas, founder of SW1 Productions, who coordinated the event, said: “ever since they supported Clean Bandit in the Great Hall, we have been keen to get them back to the region. “The fact that they have gone on to win the BBC Sound award and have just scored their �irst number one single with the brilliant ‘King’ is testament to an exciting new band for the future.” Chris Young, the Guild’s Licensed Trade Manager, assured Exeposé this is no one-off: “With Years & Years and Lucy Spraggan playing on 20 May, we’ll be working right until the end of term to ensure our students have the opportunity to see some top live music at the Lemon Grove.

“We are already taking bookings for term one next year and working on some new big projects that we can’t wait to reveal when everyone returns back from the summer!” Additionally, on Saturday 21 March DJ Kristian Nairn, otherwise known as Game of Thrones’ character Hodor, will present his “Rave of Thrones” set at the Lemon Grove. Nick Lawley, founder and exPresident of Game Of Thrones Society - with over 160 paid members and

over 740 Facebook likes - described the society as “ecstatic to have our �irst actor of the show coming down to Exeter,” adding that “it feels quite surreal that it’s actually happening.” The University has boasted a particularly strong musical calendar this academic year, having hosted an array of contemporary and longstanding talents, including Frank Turner, Duke Dumont, Band of Skulls, Sir Bob Geldof and the recent announcement of Muse.

Photo: diymag.com

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“Virgin Media has let Exeter residents down” Hannah Butler News Editor

STUDENTS were left frustrated after �ive days of disruption to their Virgin Media service last week. However, with the broadband provider only reimbursing those who experienced full loss of service, only a few students are likely to receive compensation.

Trekking to campus to check emails is not okay Spring�ield Road resident The fault, which affected residents on Spring�ield Road, Culverland Road and Victoria Road, was reported on Friday 6 March. However, service was not fully restored until the following Wednesday – leaving students with severe disruptions for almost �ive days. “Virgin Media has let Exeter residents down,” said one Spring�ield

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Road resident on Monday. “Not only have they not provided the service that they promise - working Wi-Fi but they stated speci�ically that the issue would be resolved at 4.05pm on the dot today, which is not the case. “Not only does this cause those affected problems socially, but it also hinders those who need the Internet while they are working and who want to do so in the comfort of their own home. Trekking to campus to check emails is not okay. Virgin Media, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” On Monday, Virgin Media’s online ‘Service Status’ estimated the issues would be resolved by 4:05pm that evening. However, problems persisted for another two days, with the ‘Estimated Fix Time’ repeatedly being pushed backwards. Exeposé contacted Virgin Media on Tuesday 10 March, who stated: “only a couple of streets have been affected by slow speeds and our engineers are

installing new equipment at the local cabinet to return speeds back to what they should be.” However, by the following afternoon the problem had not been resolved. “The internet issues are incredibly frustrating,” said one student living on Culverland Road. “We’ve had no internet for extended periods across the last three days and it very nearly led to a missed essay deadline.” “It’s even worse to hear that it’s affecting other people and that Virgin are aware of the matter and simply not taking action,” he added.

work fault can be eligible for compensation for the loss of service between the time they noti�ied us of the issue and it being resolved,” they continued – adding, however, that customers are usually only eligible for compensation if they experience full loss of service. Virgin Media later released a formal statement, claiming: “there are many factors that can affect broadband performance so we always inves-

tigate when a concern is raised over slow speeds. After we were �irst told of slow speeds on Friday evening our engineers identi�ied the need to replace hardware in the local street cabinet and install new equipment further a�ield at our network exchange. Full service was restored by Wednesday afternoon. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.” Photo: Josh Creek

It very nearly led to a missed essay deadline Culverland Road resident According to a statement from Virgin Media, service was restored by 3pm on Wednesday. “Customers who suffered a loss of service due to a net-

Tax-free tampons Students “leading the way” with MP Question Time on campus? Theodore Stone News Team

Photo: Meg Lawrence

Emily Leahy News Editor THE NUS Women’s Liberation Campaign has had their Student Idea to eliminate the ‘tampon tax’ on campus passed by the Guild Council. The idea was approved on 25 February and has been passed on to Kate Hawkins, VP Welfare and Diversity. Hawkins has been working closely with the NUS Women’s Liberation Of�icers on the campaign and will now take the motion to a University SWAN committee on 25 March.

It is outrageous that tampons are seen as luxury products when items such as herbal tea are not

Meg Lawrence, NUS Women’s Liberation Of�icer It has been proposed that the Guild may be able to investigate the possibility of covering the cost of the tax, due to the small number of sanitary items sold within the Guild shop.

A similar campaign has been successful at Newcastle University, where the student council passed a motion for “Free Periods.” Tax has been removed on all sanitary items on their campus and various products will be available for free at certain sites. Additionally, on Monday 9 March, Exeter’s NUS Women’s Liberation Of�icers were collecting signatures towards a national campaign calling for a ban on tax on sanitary products. 223 people have signed the petition so far, and those interested in supporting the cause are encouraged to contact the of�icers. Meg Lawrence, NUS Women’s Liberation Of�icer, said: “We have had an extremely positive reaction from students and staff alike, and hope that this campaign will also have some impact on the national ‘stop the tampon tax’ campaign.” She added: “It is outrageous that tampons are seen as luxury products when items such as cake decorations, exotic meat and herbal tea are not. This is an old fashioned and outdated tax, and I cannot see any reason as to why it should remain in place.”

THE University of Exeter’s Politics Society and Debating Society are set to hold a Question Time featuring �ive of the Candidates standing for MP during the May General Election. The event is currently scheduled to be held in the Alumni Auditorium, but over�low rooms are planned. The event will begin at 7pm on Friday 20 March.

It’s great to see that the Guild and DebSoc have come together to hold this joint event. It’s great that Exeter students are leading the way Ben Bradshaw, Labour MP

It is hoped that the event will be able to encourage students to vote, since their questions will form the core of the event. Speaking to Exeposé, Ryan Hopkins, President of the Politics Society, said he hoped the event would “engage students more in the run up to the General Election,” and that it

would be “a good way of achieving this ambition.” Meanwhile, Chloe Bitcon, President of Debating Society, said she hoped that it would make “politics and the surrounding debate relevant to the student body.” Incumbent Labour MP Ben Bradshaw, said: “It’s great to see that the Guild and DebSoc have come together to hold this joint event. It’s great that Exeter University students are leading the way,” a view that is shared by his Liberal Democrat opponent, Joel Mason, who commented: “this event will provide all parties with a platform to present their policies and debate the issues at stake.” Dom Morris, the Conservative Party’s candidate, expressed his �irm belief in student in�luence, stating: “students play a huge part in our wonderful city,” and that he was “very much looking forward to the debate.” Diana Moore, the Green Party’s candidate, commented that it is “brilliant to see how students are so engaged with this election,” before highlighting how Natalie Bennett “gave Exeter students a shout out in her Leader’s speech at conference this last weekend,” referring to her talk in January.

THE CANDIDATES: - Ben Bradshaw, Labour Party candidate and current Exeter MP - Dom Morris, Conservative Party candidate - Diana Moore, Green Party candidate - Joel Mason, Liberal Democrat candidate - Keith Crawford, UKIP candidate

Nevertheless, the event looks set to be one of the largest political events at Exeter this year. Over 700 students have already con�irmed their attendance on Facebook. However, Left Unity Trade Unions and Socialists candidate Edmund Potts has complained that his party was not invited to the event.

It’s brilliant to see how students are so engaged with this election Diana Moore, Green Party Candidate

Stating: “It is vitally important that we get our message out there, and that we are allowed an equal opportunity to make our case to voters,” he has asked the public to contact the other candidates, as well as DebSoc and PolSoc, to register their support for his right to participate in the debate. VP Activities Matt Bate said: “I am excited to welcome Exeter’s MP candidates from the �ive largest national parties to the Students’ Guild. Exeter students continue to demonstrate their passion for local and national politics and this will be a rare opportunity for them to scrutinise and challenge the individuals �ighting to represent them.” All MP Candidates expressed their desire for students to get more involved in Politics. Students wishing to register to vote can go to www.gov.uk/ register-to-vote.

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ARTS 29-31

EDITORS DEPUTY EDITORS

Cuts, Sabbs & U-turns

This issue we lead with yet another stinging blow from the University’s relentless global-top-100 ambition artillery. To satisfy the Uni Council’s “challenge” to save millions, the Professional Services are set to undergo signi�icant changes - and almost inevitably, a decrease in numbers. While the Professional Services Transformation might have a shiny name, like many things the University markets as palatable (changes to the teaching day, for example) the short and potentially long term effects could be devastating to both staff and students. Our other front page story asks how effective our Sabbs have been. Clearly, they have some way to go yet. However, whilst they could make more fuss about University issues and perhaps be more vocal campaigners generally, what the story could be seen to show at this stage of their tenure is the limitations of Sabb power and that some things are beyond their capacities in just a year’s work. Progress is being made and whilst they have far wider roles than just sticking to their manifestos, some claims of completed pledges - notably puppies on campus and “preventing” seminar overcrowd-

ing - are pushing it. Having said that, the spirit of Rachael, Ben, Matt and Kate’s direction is unquestionable and admirable. And, whilst there is still some ground left to cover in ful�illing their manifestos, if they don’t make it, it won’t be through lack of effort. Moving onto everyone’s favourite campus reform, the University have Uturned on the extension of the teaching day. No, they haven’t ditched the daft idea, they’ve decided to suddenly make it permanent - not the “pilot scheme” they sold it as all along. The incremental nature of this change is perhaps most worrying. It might only have been a 30 minute “pilot” extension before but now it’s permanent. What comes next? It appears a cunning way to reduce opposition and we await the next instalment in Exeter’s very own omnishambles - and some serious opposition to it, hopefully from the Sabbs and their successors. Elsewhere, check out our fashion pullout; disturbing insight into Guantanamo Bay life from Moazzam Begg (10 & 11) and Arts’ chat with the West End Manager of The Curious Incident (29).

This is our �inal issue (some of you may be delighted to learn). So in a somewhat self-indulgent, Oscaracceptance spiel, we’re now going to thank everyone down to our pet hamsters in helping us run the paper this year. Members of Guild staff have had to put up with a number of interesting issues we’ve thrown their way and we’re grateful for their help. We are particularly appreciative of Orlando Murrish, who deserves credit for �ighting our corner in some tricky situations, whilst Gareth Oughton, Becky Morris, Elli Kontorravdis and Sara Bennett are also on our little list of nice people. In trying to source interesting

and big name interviews, we worked closely with Emma McFadyen from the Alumni Of�ice and should thank her for her help and patience. As you might imagine, our social lives have taken what we might politely call a battering this year - so thanks to understanding friends. But mostly, we owe a big thank you to our fabulous team, who have worked tirelessly to produce what we think have been some of the best issues of Exeposé so far. We’ve made great friends and really enjoyed our time - for a round up of this year’s antics and our thoughts on what’s next, do read ’Exeposé: a year in review’ (8 & 9).

SPORT 37-40

16 MARCH 2015 |

EXEPOSÉ

Harrison Jones & Gemma Joyce Callum McLean & Vanessa Tracey LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE Exeposé Comment

“If the results are not obvious straight away, this is not a failure” Chris Rootkin VP Welfare 2013-14

SABBS are ultimately considered a success or a failure based on their ability to achieve their manifesto, and quite rightly so. But how easy is it to tick off all of those boxes?

Every year we get candidates who want to move mountains, but this is dif�icult to achieve It partly comes down to the research that you put in leading up to your election campaign. Every year we get candidates who want to come in and move mountains, but in reality this is very dif�icult to achieve. Having spent a year as one of the Vice Presidents, I now understand exactly what can and can’t be achieved in a year at the helm. However, when candidates run

for election, often knowing very little about the Guild/University relationship, how are they supposed to know that it will be nigh on impossible to get a free cash point put in place at the Lemmy? With the right preparation and research, candidates can �ind out what change their peers want to see, how much of that is achievable within one year, what will take a lot longer, and what is not achievable at all. One of the most important things to remember is a lot of what is taking place in the Guild at the moment was started years ago by previous Sabb teams. Likewise, a lot of what Sabbs start now will be completed in years to come. Imogen Sanders (VP Academic Affairs 12-13) started what is now a very successful Research Uncovered, but in her year it was just the beginning and may not have been seen as a huge manifesto win. Mental health campaigning was on my manifesto and is a goal that might never be complete. Shall I say I succeeded in bringing the issue into

the spotlight, or failed because the waiting times at Wellbeing are still too long?

Completing something on your manifesto in your 13 months of of�ice is something to applaud Completing something on your manifesto in your 13 months in of�ice is something to applaud and it is possible. But more often than not, student led change takes more than one year. Sabbs work �lat out to represent students’ best interests, so if the results are not always obvious straight away, this is not a failure. Of course Sabbs deserve to be scrutinised on their manifestos, and it’s the students’ responsibility to hold the Sabbs to account, but often the sign of a really successful of�icer will be the legacy they leave, as well as their in year successes.

“This wasn’t in the prospectus”

Cartoon: Emily McIndoe

Famous last words

Thanks to those who helped proof this issue: Isobel Burston, Sabrina Aziz, Flora Carr, Jessie Stanier, Catherine Heffner, Jeremy Brown, Kate Jones, Esther Docherty, Katie Costello, Joshua Rotchelle, Emily Kerr, Ellie Crisp, Natalie Bartrum, Nick Porter, Evan Jones, Emily Prescott, Giorgi Mamuzelos and members of the Exeposé editorial team.

33-35

In defence of the Sabb

EDITORIAL

GAMES & TECH

EXEPOSÉ

www.exepose.com

Workload woes: too much and too little Rachel Brown

IT was the �irst day of spring at Exeter, birds played, the sun beamed - you get the picture. Checking emails over corn�lakes, many of us choked when we read our exam timetables, and not just because we were eating value range cereal more apt for a paper maché project.

My last day off was at Christmas so I’m feeling more Eeyore than Tigger Many students like me face sitting all their exams in the �irst week of May. For us �inal years, these exams come just days after D-Day, a.k.a. dissertation deadline. Personally, three essay deadlines in March make it a busy spring. But I’m one of the ‘lucky’ ones. A friend of mine has just two days between his dissertation and tackling three exams. My last day off was at Christmas so I’m already feeling more Eeyore than Tigger. With this exam schedule, I have vowed to avoid all eye contact with anything remotely fun ‘til the regime releases me in May. But I have also felt compelled to quit my job – you know, the thing that means you can afford groceries. With such pressures, is it any surprise there has been a ‘dramatic increase’ (Exeposé, January 2015) in student demand for the Wellbeing Centre? The University seems to be holding its exams earlier every year. With shorter term dates, it makes you wonder why they don’t reduce rather

than raise tuition fees! More informed students reveal this gives assessors maximum time to mark our papers. For �inal years, it also insures we can graduate on time. By this logic, �inal years have their exams earliest. A curious logic when the year your grades count most is the same year you get less study time. If we all graduate with grades that don’t re�lect our ability because there lacked revision time, who does this help? The graduation ceremony is just a day of glori�ied queuing in the heat wearing unforgiving robes. A degree result is for life. Getting a good grade isn’t everything. Christopher Hitchens got a Third and Jon Snow got kicked out. But the University should not be setting punishing exam dates to manage its own workload. We should be their priority. That means giving us enough time to revise and enough time to relax. At least two weeks’ revision after the Easter holiday (the true meaning of “holiday” was lost years ago) should be standard, especially if you have a dissertation. Until then, students pay the price of a University overstretched and outnumbered.

Josh Mines

I’LL start by saying that I accept this isn’t a very popular opinion. But being a second year English student, there simply isn’t enough work to keep me occupied compared to my third year counterparts. It’s not as if I don’t have enough reading to do – frankly there are few students who could hope to get through the vast tomes that lurk on the bottom of their reading lists. But in my opinion, one summative essay per module, every term, followed by a summer exam isn’t enough practical written work to give a fair representation of how much work you’ve done. It’s very easy to drop the ball for one essay, due to personal issues or simply going up a track that your tutor isn’t fond of. But with my degree, one slip up can have a detrimental effect on your �inal degree mark, regardless of how m u c h work you may have put in. By introducing more tasks to keep second years occupied, the law of averages will inevitably mean that students w h o work consistently

hard will be rewarded with a mark they deserve. The main issue with some course structures is that the weight of work has tipped too far towards the �inal year of study. It makes perfect sense that third year should be more signi�icant than the rest of your degree, but it isn’t fair that so much work is placed on students in a year where they are likely to be more heavily committed to societies or sports teams. It leads to a situation where, especially at the end of term too much stress is put on students from too many different angles. Having dissertation deadlines, exam revision, as well as society commitments all looming at the same time, is sure to be too much for people and ensure that it’s dif�icult for students to reach their full potential. The balance between the work load in second and third year is a �ine one, and I’m sure it’s a dif�icult task for tutors to know how much work to set. But from the people I know in third year, not only in English but in other disciplines too, the amount of work can be ludicrous and make what are already very stressful times even worse. Of course university should be challenging, but not to the point where students such as my third year engineering housemate have to pull three all-nighters a week at the end of term, whilst being unable to give any time to societies outside his course. Perhaps if the weight of marks shifted slightly between second and third year, it would ensure a more balanced course structure, both by making us work harder in second year whilst taking some of the huge amount of pressure off �inal year students.

You can stand under my Floella

“The University has con�irmed our worst fears: Floella is retiring” Ciaran Willis

WHEN I heard Floella was relinquishing her role as Exeter’s huggerin-chief, I was disarmed. Shocked. I made a cup of tea and couldn’t drink it. I hoped it was just a nightmare; or a hoax devised by a cruel hug-thief. A run-of-the-mill hug-hater (hughaters gonna hate). But the University has con�irmed our worst fears: Floella is retiring. Rumours have always circled Floella like a pair of tentative arms. Some say she won the gold medal at the 2012 Hug Olympics, hands down. That her arms have been insured for

millions at the behest of MI5. That if she sold her hugs on the free-market she’d be the richest woman in England.

Her arms have been insured for millions at the behest of MI5 For those who have never encountered her, Floella Benjamin is graduation. Forget your �irst or your 2:1 or your parents coming all the way from Scotland or China. No one cares. The ceremony is the Floellashow and you can’t graduate without her approval - it’s against the law

(Floella Hug Act, 2008). For many decades Floella has been wrapping students up like presents and posting them out into the world of work as better humanitarians. She’s baptised students with her embrace. She’s opened her hands and let them drift off like doves, at peace. One student said: “I wish I was an octopus so I could hug Floella eight times.” Another intoned: “her hug changed my life, and my metabolism.” There’s no doubt Floella makes an impression on everyone she meets. One of last year’s graduates con�ided in me: “I think I can never hug again.” You will, my son, you will: but it will take time.

However, there’s no shrugging or hugging this off. We need a new Floella. But we can’t clone her and it will take years before we can.

Some say she won the gold medal at the 2012 Hug Olympics, hands down So the University of Exeter has made some suggestions for replacements: Huggy Bear, the baseball player Dan Uggla, Jessica Rabbit. But I don’t think they’ll do. It’s a t-hug life out there. It’s tough. It’ll be a cruel cruel world without Floella’s hugs.

COMMENT

HATIN’ ON DAT DISSERTATION? It’s the final push for third years and by now, you already hate your dissertation topic. What would you rather explore in the depths of the library? Zoe Hope: Bleed Green: An investigation into University Sporting allegiances and acts of violence Andrew Holland: Is comment free?: a study of the economic and social impact of censorship in student media in wider society Sophie Harrison: From Kant to Kim: the philosophy of the self(ie) James Pidduck: Keeping up with Kapitalism: the sex tape as a means to economic prosperity and social mobility in contemporary Hollywood Flora Carr: ‘Mr & Mrs (Steve) Smith’: A study of subterfuge and espionage in modern media culture Theodore Stone: Lad Culture: A real moral system, or a disguise for existential nihilism? Andrew Holland: Do you really ROFL? The use of hyperbole in social media communication Harrison Jones: Why do dogs have to grow up so fast these days? An analysis of the linguistic nuance associated with the word ‘puppy’ Gareth Roberts: Ocular harm as a consequence of modern cinematic fictions: Why do Zack Snyder films make people want to gouge their eyes out Chris Curtis An analysis of the evidence presented in Scruffy V Baha Men: Who Actually Did Let The Dogs Out?

COMMENT FEATURES 10-13 6-9

LIFESTYLE 14-15

“Funding smaller papers isn’t about excluding others” Jessica Burgess

STUDENT IDEA 161 was anonymously proposed to the student body through the Change, Policy and Research page on 9 March 2015. It presented a motion to review Exeposé’s funding and allow non-Guild journals like Exetera and The Undergraduate to pitch for the funding it is receiving.

This should be about reevaluating Guild funding Soon after it was posted, discussion and debate emerged with some denouncing its bias against Exeposé, and others supporting the notion of a Guild funding review. The reality of the situation is that this motion should not be a matter of excluding any journals or publications from Exeter, it should be about fair funding for all. The Guild is a representative body that looks to encourage society and project independence, whilst providing them with the necessary support to remain �inancially legal and healthy. At times, their processes may appear outdated, especially with regard to the rigid criteria for Guild af�iliation and red tape. There are speculations about the creation of a project-oriented Guild team to work speci�ically with non-Guild projects to help them become af�iliated and legal, but any concrete evidence of this, aside from one or two supportive contacts, has

yet to emerge. Setting up a publication will always be expensive and high risk, and with sponsors and Guild investments of thousands of pounds to keep it a�loat, you can see the hesitation. However, if a publication is able to pitch a good argument for sponsorship and af�iliation, with evidence of sustainable �inancing like advertising projections and detailed sponsorship arrangements, I would see no reason why new journals shouldn’t be able to pitch for such funding. There is precedent for this too, with recently new Razz and PearShaped becoming Guild af�iliated despite offering a similar deal to the unaf�iliated Exetera and The Undergraduate. This motion should not be about purging Exeposé �inancing, which is the direction it is currently taking, but about re-evaluating Guild views on project funding and af�iliation that otherwise leaves new, highdemand student journalism at the wayside.

Exeposé’s projected finances

£11,500

Yearly printing costs

£8,359

Advertising revenue

£209/issue

MUSIC 16-20

BOOKS 24-27

SCREEN 22-23

33-35

SPORT 37-40

EXETERA MAGAZINE is an independent student magazine published once a term that aims to provide a lighter alternative for our University. Our small team of We are completely independent and are not funded, censored or pres- marketing minions raise sured by any external big bad bureau- funds through ads cratic body. We do not receive any Exetera is a student publication money from the Guild in the form written, designed and read by of a grant or otherwise. Inour student body. Currently, stead, our small team of T O any posters we put up are marketing minions raise N immediately taken down funds through adverand, while the library retising to ensure we are cently granted us a sexy able to distribute thouaf ia transparent display stand sands of our themed isfil to showcase our previous edisues for free. tions, we would love a few more so more people can feast on the fruits of our talented student writers’ labour. We do expect to be able More advertising space and, where possible, greater monetary disto advertise on campus tribution will ensure that the student As Exetera is not af�iliated with the press, including Exetera, continues to Guild we would never expect to re- grow and thrive.

only just managed to bring out a free edition, currently available around campus. This is very exciting but has also been a huge struggle. A smallPRINTING is very expensive, and er print run incurs greater people are unlikely to pay for Gui ld cost per unit, and compastudent magazines if you nies are more reluctant can’t distribute for free. to place adverts if a magFor the �irst time in Razz azine has lower circulaMagazine’s seven-year hisili tion. As a Guild-af�iliated tory, as the university Arts a t e d society we are not eligible & Lifestyle magazine, we have

RAZZ

Cost to Guild per paper

GAMES & TECH

16 MARCH 2015 |

EXEPOSÉ

ceive any Guild funding (although the Exetera piggybank would welcome any spare pennies). However, we do expect to be able to advertise our magazine on campus.

EXEPOSÉ 5p

Total cost to Guild

ARTS 29-31

Too skint to print: the FASHION PULLOUT

NEWS 1-5

COMMENT

2014 - 2015 A year in review

WE’RE delighted with the progress and impact Exeposé has made this year. 12 months ago the paper looked very different - we went green and revamped the overall design, notably that of the front, second and back page, while the website also got a new look and came runner up in the 2014 Guardian Student Media awards for website of the year. We made a conscious effort to better integrate the paper with the website, introducing an app, QR codes and an email briefing. After conducting a University wide survey, we also changed our sections, bringing in Science & Tech to leave Games all alone (bless) and merging two sections to be-

to apply for Annual Fund money. We have just enough from membership fees to print the magazine biannually, always at a �inancial loss.

It is dif�icult for newer, smaller publications However, Razz has an important role on campus as a niche, alternative

come Arts & Lit. We increased our social media presence by 50 per cent and produced various pullouts featuring diverse topics. We’ve also had great reviews, features and a whole host of big name interviews, from Sir Clive Woodward and Gary Numan to Ed Balls and The Saturdays. But perhaps what has defined the paper most this year is the big stories it’s covered, three of which were in the Post’s Huffington Post Top 20 Student Journalist Stories of the Year - a feat achieved by no other student paper. Yes, this year will probably be remembered for *that* football article, but aside from sports club culture, we also in-

EXEPOSÉ

e struggle of Exeter’s smaller media COMMENT

www.exepose.com

the printing of our annual every year, and much more. This isn’t just about funding, it’s also about receiving support from the Guild so we can continue to �lourish.

PearShaped

Photo credit: Razz Magazine

culture, we also investigated eating disorders, covered #NeverOK, sabb elections, student numbers and held the University and Guild to account on a number of big issues. For all the scrutiny we dish out to the University and the Students’ Guild, it’s actually a damn good place to study and a quality union. However, what’s important for us to do is speak out on topics where there could be improvement and apply pressure for things in the student interest to take place. Student media should be rebellious, scrutinising, mischievous and provide accountability. With that assumption in mind, we’ve become very engaged in the University bubble,

THE UNDERGRADUATE is a student-run academic journal that encourages undergraduate research. Thanks to the generous support from the University, the faculty, and our readership, all 12,000+

undergraduates at the University can read and write for our journal without paying a fee. We offer our journal for free because we believe undergraduates should not be made to T O pay more than what they N already have to enrich their academic experience. Additionally, we af ia intentionally maintain pofil litical impartiality, to focus

and from that experience it’s clear to us that four issues stand out above all else: the detrimental impact continuing University growth is having on the student experience, the expansion of the teaching day, students’ mental health and - of course - tuition fees. These are themes that we’ve covered continuously this year and we hope that will continue after we’re gone: they’re important. We might sound self-indulgent but, in the face of scrutiny of the

The Undergraduate

publication. There are many different kinds of journalism, not just newspaper journalism, and the current system makes it incredibly dif�icult for newer, smaller publications to gain any traction. Even a fractional increase in Guild support would alleviate some of the huge hurdles magazines without Xmedia funding currently face, and would make a massive difference to the quality of all student media.

Exeposé budget (which is fair, despite the apparent intentions behind the proposition being incredibly misinformed), we feel it important to stress the role that a nationally reputable paper plays in student life at Exeter. If you’re in doubt about why Exeposé is essential to the wider student experience, ask yourself how else you’d have found out about the biggest issues on campus this year (many of which our friends at the nation’s most childish tabloid seem to have entirely overlooked) and how many other vehicles apply significant pressure to the Uni on student issues. Also keep in mind that our 50-strong committee and 600+ members would find few chances to get the journalistic experience they do elsewhere. But after that year, it’s time for a change. Good luck to our successors, Sarah, James, Kayley and Harry; but they won’t need it - Exeposé couldn’t be in safer hands.

WE value Exeposé as a publication and can appreciate what they do for this University regarding independent student journalism and holding those in We’re calling for greater power to account. This debate should University support, not be centred on attacking Exeposé. Instead, PearShaped would like based on proportionality to draw attention to smaller publica- and readership tions. We’re calling for greater supIn an ideal world, other student port, based on proportionality and readership. PearShaped is af�iliated media would get more funding withwith the Student’s Guild, but is not a out any cuts to Exeposé, and we sincerely hope that this debate member of Xmedia. We don’t opens up that possibility. receive any guaranteed Guil d However, the likely scenarfunding from the Univerio is, that for increasingly sity or Guild. Last year successful smaller groups we were awarded a oneto receive more money, off Societies Grant of fi cuts will need to be made. £300, but this cannot be liated We are con�ident that these relied on. savings can be made without We have 140 members, about a �ifth of Exeposé’s membership, hampering the production, frequency and yet we have to get by on a small or quality of the paper; we’re happy to proportion of their funding. With discuss the realities of this further. more proportionality, we could assure

>>Clockwise from left: Exetera’s Internet Edition cover and shoot; PearShapedExeter.com’s homepage; The Undergraduate; Razz Magazine’s latest shoot ‘Mirrors & Memory’

on upholding our commitment to undergraduate academics only.

We want all publications to have equal opportunities regardless of Guild af�iliation For all these reasons, we are unaf�iliated with the Students’ Guild. We

have no opinion towards how Guild �inances are distributed. All our committee hopes for is that bureaucratic policies will acknowledge the right for any student publication to have an equal opportunity to engage with the University’s student body regardless of their Guild af�iliation status. An example of this would be more advertising space for our Call for Submissions, now open until April 1.

FEATURES

NEWS 1-5

COMMENT FEATURES 10-13 6-9

LIFESTYLE 14-15

MUSIC 16-20

FEATURES

FASHION PULLOUT

SCREEN 22-23

BOOKS 24-27

ARTS 29-31

GAMES & TECH

33-35

SPORT 37-40

16 MARCH 2015 |

EXEPOSÉ

FEATURES EDITORS

Rory Morgan & Emma Thomas features@exepose.com

After Guantanamo Bay FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @ExeposeFeatures

LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE Exeposé Features

Rory Morgan, Features Editor, sits down with Moazzam Begg, a former terrorist suspect and inmate of the world’s most infamous detention facility IT is a dark Tuesday evening and I am sitting in the jam-packed Forum Auditorium, waiting eagerly to hear the testimony of a former prisoner from the most infamous detainment centre in the world: Guantanamo Bay. 90 minutes �ly by and the audience is stunned into silence by Moazzam Begg’s story. I give a simple but heavily loaded opening question: “Why you?” A poorly veiled attempt to ask if he did indeed have links with extremists. His quick response only serves to show the familiarity of such a query: “There are two reasons. One is because I was approached by the British intelligence services around 1998 in relation to somebody who had written to me from the emirates. Somebody I knew. He’d been arrested there. He’d been tortured. The reason why I know this is because he wrote to me, said that he’d been tortured, please can I help to bring him a lawyer. The reason why MI5 �irst came to my house was in connection to this letter. “The other reason is the Americans had dropped millions of lea�lets shortly before the invasion of Iraq offering bounties of thousands of dollars for each person handed over who was a suspect. I was new to that region and I am sure that somebody must have gone and informed the Americans or Pakistanis “there’s somebody new here, we don’t really know him that well. Give us $5000.” After this clear cut response, the 47-year-old moved on to tell

me about the most horri�ic part of his incarceration.

All along they waved pictures of my children in front of me “To me it was the period of time in the Bagram detention facility where I spent about ten or so months. This place was worse than Guantanamo. Probably the worst thing for me was being interrogated by the CIA and FBI. Simultaneously were the sounds of a woman screaming in the next cell, which they led

me to believe was my wife being tortured. All along they waved pictures of my children in front of me, asking ‘what do I think happened to them? Where do I think they are?’” In his talk, Begg claimed that during his detainment he began to see the Americans as incarcerators rather than saviours. The Birmingham native recounted his brutal realisation of this with slight fragility in his voice. “The Pakistanis had brought us to this place hooded, but it was clear it was some kind of airport,” Begg described. You could hear the aircraft. “Then when I heard American voices I thought, ‘Okay, there’s going to be some people at least I can communicate with properly. Who understand me and my background.’ And I remember they were putting on gloves, they were latex gloves. One of the Americans passed me. I said, ‘You’re not going to be doing cavity searches on us?’ He said “No, no. Don’t worry about that.” But he was lying. I remember they sat on top of us and took off our clothes - ripped them off with a knife - and did exactly that same thing that I was afraid of. So from that point on, right there in the airport, I realised these guys were going to be very brutal with us.” Surely such a long period in con�inement would make even the most

optimistic individual lose faith upon release? I ask Mozzam Begg how he held onto his hope. “By the time I was in Guantanamo and I had been in solitary con�inement I started to get more resilient. More resistant, less compliant. Less afraid and more resigned to my fate. So when I did that, I thought, ‘Well I don’t really care what you are going to do to me,’ and it became easier. I thought, if they release me that’s �ine, if they don’t that’s �ine. I’ll accept whatever my fate is.”

This moved us onto the experiences the former prisoner had with the guards that supervised him. “There was one in particular, he was an Irish American. He told me how he grew up on a Native American reservation. He was one of the few who started off good, but became very bad. He once said: “To be honest with you, I know what America is like. What they have done to the Native Americans is pretty much what we are doing to you here.” He seemed very disturbed by the way we were being treated. “As time went on and I saw him processing more prisoners… I knew that because

one of the guys involved in the beating to death of one of the prisoners that I saw. Before he did that he told me that he was losing his humanity. He was simply dealing with us as numbers.” “Were there any guards that had the reverse experience?” I venture to ask. “They were the larger number of people. Coming to the isolation block and speaking to prisoners as an individual on a one-to-one basis, they began in a hostile way, they were quite apprehensive. They had been told the people in isolation were the most dangerous, most manipulative, most everything. But in fact, once we started to talk over months and sometimes years they became almost like family. They’d bring you anything you want. Sometimes they’d bring you news when they were not supposed to. The odd chocolate here and there. I would try and reciprocate, some of us even wrote poems for one another. I still have them to this day.” We move onto the issue of legality and the detainment facility and it is clear that this is the subject matter Begg is most impassioned about, drawing a comparison of animal and human rights on Guantanamo Bay soil. “The iguana is protected under the endangered species act. The prisoners there are not protected by any law at all. That’s why you can hold them without charge. On American soil that would be a crime. The reason that is a crime is because, funnily enough, M a g n a Carta contains a clause that no man will be detained at the behest of the

he could communicate with me in English, he would never treat me badly. But I saw him really mistreat some of the other prisoners. He turned out to be

holy authority, except that he will be judged by his peers. That’s in the constitution

He turned out to be one of the guys involved in the beating to death of one of the prisoners that I saw. He told me that he was losing his humanity

EXEPOSÉ of the United States of America. There is a new law for Guantanamo. America had dug itself into some holes that it can’t get out of. If it wanted to it could have prosecuted those people it felt were responsible for 9/11, quite easily. The problem with starting the process on Guantanamo is the torture evidence. Evidence that has been gleaned from torture in a normal legal system would have the case thrown out.”

When somebody criticises us and says we are defending terrorists I say that is exactly what we are doing It is clear that the activist verges on regarding his experiences with pride, and that the path they have set him on has de�ined who he is. “It’s part of me now. I can’t really escape it even if I wanted to,” he admits. “I have found myself in a position where not only could I advocate on behalf of those still there, but I had to. I wasn’t a particularly con�ident person before Guantanamo. I think after being interrogated so many times it actually gave me some con�idence.” Begg discusses the prisoners who are still there today, despite many having been approved for release, citing the education system as a source of hope for falsely accused individuals. “Generations keep changing and you have to constantly keep rejuvenating the argument and the case [according] to where people feel most passionate. I believe that universities are one of those places where people feel passionate about what the future holds for the world that they want to live in. The call to have some of those people released is an ongoing one.” In 2010 Gita Sahgal, a prominent head at Amnesty International, denounced her organisation’s relation with Begg, and it was only last year that he was once again imprisoned on suspicion of terrorism. I ask him how he deals with these persistent assaults on his character. “What I have come to realise now is that there are numerous political agendas,” Begg explains. “Part of it is [try-

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ing] to shut down your voice. To shut down what you are saying because people don’t like it. Because it’s calling for accountability for those people who say, essentially, ‘we haven’t done anything wrong.’ “When somebody criticises us and says we are defending terrorist suspects, I say that is exactly what we are doing. Make no mistake, I was one myself. If that’s a crime, then prosecute us, because we are actually quite sick of being called all sorts of names. It doesn’t really hurt anymore. If we don’t get criticised we know that we are doing something wrong. We expect criticism. What we don’t expect is blatant siding with hatred.” So how can we deal with individuals less inclined to diplomacy? Begg says more needs to be done to convince minorities of the bene�its of life in Britain. “It saddens me to see Britain is becoming so Draconian. We have to help Britain back on its way. That’s our role. I still am very convinced that the British public are good in general. Even with the rise of right wing groups and political parties. People need to see that and recognise it.” Just before our interview ends, Begg is adamant to assert the difference between those who carry out terrorist attacks in the West and those that �ight against foreign occupations in their home countries. “In relation to countries that are facing bombing and occupation… I believe in the sovereign for everybody to �ight occupation. No matter who they are. If somebody had killed my family, I don’t think I would be sitting here speaking in the way that I am talking. There’s a limit to forgiveness.” Walking Mozzam Begg back to the car park I still felt that I did not feel completely certain about him. He had admitted to links with terrorists and there were certainly some things I felt Begg would never share with me or other more seasoned journalists. But it occurred to me that this essentially did not matter. The fact was Begg had been subjected to human rights violations that I would not wish on even the most dangerous of criminals, and this should be stopped.

Taking a stand

Sophie Harrison, Online Books Editor, casts a critical eye on the approach of militant activists FOR every person who can feel empowered by a standpoint, there is someone who can feel imposed upon. The most recent example, which prompted me to write this piece, regarded the topic of animal rights. A debate was started on a Facebook page, which included the argument that people cannot be pro animal welfare unless they are vegan. People posted graphic cartoon images and directed heated criticism towards people who, despite not being vegan, campaigned for animal sanctuaries in their spare time. I am a dog owner, adore animals and donate money each month to a Donkey Sanctuary. I also eat meat and consume dairy products. The latter has been especially important for me, in recovery from an eating disorder that compromised bone health. I posted a carefully thought-out comment in this Facebook thread, and the responses acknowledged my case was an “exception.” Nonetheless, it still enforced that my “end goal should be veganism.” I will not become a vegan. I respect people who do, but I know that it would require too much restriction of foods that I have previously avoided. The debate became increasingly aggressive in tone, and I did feel that views were being enforced upon me. I fail to see how they think this tactic is effectual. It hides the middle ground. My second example, The HeForShe campaign, seeks to unearth it. I will be the �irst to admit the campaign is not �lawless, but I think it can do so much to progress the liberation of female rights. People do have a right to criticize it, and I have read very articulate pieces exploring this. Nonetheless, an experience last year showed a less moderate side. A friend informed me that an article I

wrote on the campaign had been posted on a society page. I was thrilled; sharing awareness of this campaign is a key aim. When I visited the page, and read the comments, delight was displaced with discomfort. People remarked that my understanding of feminism was “crude” and “simple.” I was supporting a campaign for feminism. Inwardly, I felt morti�ied; I wanted to edit the piece. Censor myself. Yet, outwardly, I stood my ground, and I am glad I did. The diversity of feminism is why I love the ‘this is what a feminist looks like’ shirt. It is not a one-size-�its-all movement. Positive discourses are emasculated by the smallest discrepancies. One article response to the campaign lambasted the “gender inequality” within the Harry Potter series, citing lack of female characters as courageous as Harry…. I wonder what Emma Watson would say to that? If we are going to tear apart JK Rowling for inequality E.L. James should see 50 storms of grey descend. Good intentions are being discredited. My �inal example is a case in point for this: Benedict Cumberbatch’s widely condemned use of the term “coloured,” on a US chat show in January. The actor’s full statement said: “I think as far as colored actors go… a lot of my friends have had more opportunities here [in the U.S.] than in the U.K., and that’s something that needs to change. We’re not representative enough in our culture of different races.” Taken out of context, by the media, it does sound bad. Yet this overshadowed a whole discussion for racial equality. ITV News broadcaster Charlene White tweeted: “Benedict Cumberbatch on lack of opps for black actors in UK. For me tho, undermined by

him calling them ‘colored’...” I do not endorse what Cumberbatch said. However, I would not go as far as to say this one word “undermined” all else. White was, arguably, the one undermining his point. Cumberbatch did what I felt compelled to do, and backtracked on his statement: “The most shaming aspect of this for me is that I was talking about racial inequality.” This apology in itself saddened me, because he said it himself; he was talking about racial inequality. The media made it into an issue greater than the true issue at hand. The media could not see this; they wanted a story. The Daily Mail, who ran an article on Cumberbatch’s descendency from slave owners in 2014, wrote last month: “The actor’s slip of the tongue is especially troubling considering his family history.” The dog owner is an animal hater. The feminist is pro-male. The racial equality advocate is a “descendant-of slave-owner.” Where is the equality and empathy, for which these groups campaign? Selma star David Olewoyo, on Cumberbatch-gate, put it perfectly: “To attack him for a term, as opposed to what he was actually saying… is indicative of the age we live in where people are looking for sound bites as opposed to substance.” “It is time we all perceived gender as a spectrum rather than two sets of opposing ideals.” Emma Watson’s statement rings true for all rights movements. It is not a case of male or female, vegan or animal hater, black or white. Not holding the exact views on a subject, as someone else, does not make you an enemy of it. Views have a spectrum; as long as they point in the direction of some greater good, they warrant respect.

Still the city of love? 12

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Flora Carr, Copy Editor, takes to the streets of Paris to gauge the atmosphere in the aftermath of the Charlie Hebdo terrorist attacks “DON’T forget - ask them about the atmosphere here after Charlie Hebdo.” “I know,” he says. He approaches the woman at the reception. “Excusezmoi, mademoiselle.” He darts a rueful look at me from over his shoulder. When I told my boyfriend I was taking him to Paris for a weekend, I don’t think this is what he’d had in mind. Then again, I’m here almost exactly a month after the city witnessed the most violent act of terrorism in France in decades, and my travel companion happens to be bilingual. The journalistic instincts kicked in. What’s a girl to do?

I’m here almost exactly a month after the city witnessed the most violent act of terrorism in France in decades It was on 7 January that social media exploded with the news that an act of terrorism had occurred in Paris. Identifying themselves as belonging to the Islamist terrorist group Al-Qaeda’s branch in Yemen, two gunmen had forced their way into the of�ices of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo. 11 people were killed in the shooting, with a further 12 injured. The killers escaped the scene and were only found two days later, following a massive manhunt. I still have a copy of The Times, dated 9 January. The headline reads: “Killers elude manhunt.” Further down the front page is the line: “Terror cells plotting attacks on British landmarks, MI5 chief warns.” For those two days Paris and the world was in complete panic. Acts of terrorism in the City of Lights, the City of Love, were already unthinkable; but for the

perpetrators to then simply slip away? If it could happen across the channel, could it happen here? I feared for my friends at university in London. On 11 January, Paris was host to a mass rally of national unity. More than 40 world leaders attended - we all remember the furore when an Israeli newspaper photo-shopped Angela Merkel and other female leaders from the line-up. And here at Exeter another rally was held. I sat on the cold stone steps outside the Forum with my handmade ‘Je Suis Charlie’ sign, listening to the impassioned speeches. I also thought about my upcoming trip to Paris. Would the city still be on alert? The picture splashed across my old Times copy is of several French police in full protective gear, eyes narrowed underneath their balaclavas. From imagining impressionist paintings lining the walls of art galleries, I now envisaged soldiers and policemen lining the streets. Having won the trip to Paris through ELLE’s talent contest, our hotel was about as central as you could get, right on the Champs-Élysées. Almost immediately we came across several armed policemen. My fears, I thought, were con�irmed.

Acts of terrorism in the City of Lights, the City of Love, were already unthinkable However, we soon realised that the hotel was just two streets away from the Élysée Palace, the of�icial residence of the French President. Just a month after a terrorist act, it’s hardly surprising that the country’s head of state should have protection. If anything,

there were fewer policemen outside the Palace than I would have expected. However, once we’d unpacked and left the hotel for the obligatory walk to the Arc de Triomphe, the scene changed. The Champs-Élysées was crawling with armed policemen, late-night shoppers swerving around them. Whilst police presence outside the home of the President was, to my mind, relatively sparse, in the main tourist district of Paris we were pre-

sented with a city on alert. After exploring a little, however, we came across hardly any police, armed or not, as we strayed into the side streets. Were the policemen pacing to and from the Arc de Triomphe just for show? And if so, for whose bene�it? Were they a deterrent for prospective terrorists, or were they a spectacle for tourists like us? Of the locals we (my boyfriend) spoke to, opinion was divided over whether or not Paris had seen a change since the attacks. Our hotel receptionist told us: “Every-

one has become more alert, it’s very noticeable.” By contrast, when we visited a little bistro overlooking Pont Neuf, our waiter con�irmed what we’d seen so far. When asked if he’d seen more police, he said, “not too much more than normal,” and believed that the atmosphere in the city hadn’t changed much: “It seems the same to me!” Had our receptionist just been trying to reassure us? I felt more confused than ever. I t wasn’t until we arrived at the Gare du Nord on Sunday, ready to catch the Eurostar home, that some light was shed on the matter. Having managed to get my hands on the 14 January issue of Charlie Hebdo, the newspaper’s �irst issue following the attacks, I was keen to bring home another issue from our trip. Having struggled to �ind a copy over the weekend, I was certain I’d �ind one in the many newsagents in the station. After all, the 14 January issue had a print run of 7.95 million copies in six languages, in contrast to its usual print run of 60,000 in only French. However, going into the newsagent Relay, we were informed that a batch of Charlie Hebdos had arrived that morning - but they were all sold out. The same was the case everywhere else. What we saw instead were racks of Charlie Hebdo memorabilia. Books with titles such as Nous Sommes Charlie: 60 Cartoonists Unite for Freedom of Expression and Charlie Hebdo: The 1,000 Issues. And whilst there were no Charlie Hebdos left, most of the

newsagents stocked the front of their shop with similar publications like Le Canard Enchaine, traditionally Charlie Hebdo’s main rival. Clearly we weren’t the only tourists hoping to leave with a piece of Parisian satire. My �irst and only interview that weekend was at the terminal, with an English woman who turned out to have attended Exeter University. After bonding over this coincidence (she, too, spent her �irst year in Exeter Halls), I asked for her opinion on Paris in the Hebdo aftermath. “If anything,” she said, “there’s a new sense of belonging. There’s an urge to unite against terrorism. Things are still hostile in the banlieues [suburbs], where it’s more ethnically diverse, but the march [on 11 January] gave the sense that Paris had been recognised by the world - that the world cares about the Parisians.”

Like Le Tricolor �lag before it, the magazine has become a symbol of the French resistance Perhaps then, the presence of policemen in predominantly tourist areas, and the selling-out of Charlie Hebdo in the Gare du Nord, an international train station, can be linked. As with Ground Zero in New York, Hebdo has come to represent the �ight against terrorism. Like Le Tricolor �lag before it, the magazine has become a symbol of French resistance. The police presence, the souvenirs, the sold-out newspaper racks, are all signs that the French stand behind Charlie Hebdo and what it stands for. And that, more importantly, they want the world to know it.

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EUAFC named Salmond steals Scotland best behaved club Benedict Lane

James Beeson Sport Editor

THE University of Exeter Football Club has been recognized as the ‘best-behaved’ and ‘most responsible’ sports club at an AU initiation award ceremony last week. The awards ceremony, which was said to have taken place at the Cross Key’s Bar on St. Luke’s Campus, recognized the club’s ‘outstanding commitment’ in ‘providing a secure and safe environment for its members.’ EUAFC’s Social Secretary was also presented the ‘Mother Teresa’ award individually for his efforts, the highest level of honour which can be bestowed on an AU club member, second only in comparison with The Tab’s ‘Great British Bolt-off’ award.

EUAFC’s social secretary was also presented the ‘Mother Teresa’ award The prize was awarded based on three categories: the lengths the club have gone to in order to make �irst years feel accepted at socials, the level of tolerance shown by the club members towards others in society, and the general behaviour of the club at university events. EUAFC came top in all three categories in what was a comprehensive victory for the club. When presenting the awards, one AU Executive was gushing in his praise: “Their maturity and sense of obligation to their members is without parallel. I only hope more clubs can look to EUAFC for inspiration on how

best to prevent the problems associated with lad culture.” When asked what he would de�ine as the key moment that in�luenced the AU’s decision to give the award to the football club, Hymen responded, “I couldn’t possibly say. Their all round behaviour has been impeccable from start to �inish, right from Fresher’s week all the way through to the Rugby Varsity. I’m immensely proud of them all.” Colin the conger eel, who recently ran for the position of VP Welfare and Diversity in this year’s Sabb elections, was also full of praise. “They made me feel so welcome whenever I came along to the socials” he said, “there were always loads of members queuing up to talk to me and say hello. Sometimes they even asked if they could kiss me, which I thought was really sweet, even if they did smell a bit of sick at the time…” The event itself was deemed a huge success by the AU, who reported only a few minor disruptions such as alcohol poisoning, racist abuse and bestiality. One AU club member, who wished to remain anonymous, told Exeposé that this was probably down to the fact that a strict ‘no pigeons allowed’ policy was enforced on the door, preventing any possible disruptions to proceedings. When approached for comment by Exeposé, members of EUAFC could only respond with chants of “Down it Fresher!,” “It’s a shoe, it’s a shoe, it’s a shoe’” and “Oh, Exeposé is full of shit!” One can only assume they were being ironic.

BRITAIN was cast into turmoil this week as it emerged that in a �it of jealous insanity, Alex Salmond, former leader of the Scottish National Party, has kidnapped Scotland and hidden it somewhere off the coast of Norway. This act comes as bitter retaliation for the country’s failure in 2014 to win independence and is set to disrupt the upcoming general elections in May.

Salmond has appointed himself de facto emperor of Scotland The theft was �irst noticed on Tuesday morning when commuters travelling up the A1 towards Edinburgh were instead greeted with a sudden cliff face looking out over the vast expanse of the North Sea. In the meantime, Salmond has appointed himself de facto emperor of Scotland and is refusing to return the country to its original location unless his demands are met. He allegedly wants full returns on pro�its

gained through North Sea oil, ownership of all of North Wales, and for the words ‘shortbread,’ ‘Irn-Bru,’ and ‘500 miles’ to be made illegal in England. K i r s t y McGowan, a spokesperson for the SNP, has issued a statement on what might have driven the 59-yearold MSP to madness. sying: “The Scottish Referendum was a tough loss for Alex, and he was never was the same afterwards. Something changed in him that day. His eyes no longer glittered with hope and joy - instead they were cruel and empty. They re�lected the tortured soul that lay within,” she laughed in an interview with ITV’s This Morning. Attempts to negotiate with Salmond have been fruitless. In an interview conducted recently, the Scot answered every question put to him with “The pound is ours, they can never take that away from us. Never.” This he repeatedly slurred over and over, his eyes haunted and manic and his breath heavy with whisky.

“The man’s clearly gone insane,” said David Cameron in a press release on Wednesday. “His demands are ludicrous and we simply won’t oblige. There are two types of people this government won’t negotiate with: terrorists and Scottish people.” The Prime Minister concluded, “Of course we’ve sent out a search party to try and recover the missing country but the area is simply too vast, so expectations should remain low. At this time, we’d just like to remind Mr Salmond that Scotland will be illegible for EU membership if nobody knows where it is.”

RAG helps vice-chancellors Ciaran Willis Screen Editor STUDENTS at the University of Wessex have started a petition to offer �inancial support to university vice-chancellors across the country. Fundraisers aim to earn funds for vice-chancellors after the revelation that they only earn a huge amount, and not more. Philip Chancellor, of the charity group Change For Vice-Chancellors, said: “There’s too much ignorance surrounding this issue. Last week a vicechancellor I know was forced take a second-class train, with the hoi-polloi and general scum-bags.” He went on: “Whilst nurses in this country are making millions, there are footballers and vice chancellors wallowing on the streets not knowing if they’ll get a room for the night.

Or whether it’ll be the Mariott or the Hilton.”

Fundraisers aim to earn funds for vice chancellors after the revelation that they only earn a huge amount, not more Wessex University’s RAG society has championed the campaign and has already scheduled an array of events in support, including: chimpanzee petting for vice-chancellors; charity jousting for vice-chancellors; chocolate making for vice-chancellors; a sponsored cycle to the Czech Republic; take your vice-chancellor to work day; and Vice-Chancellor Aid - a music

festival in support of vice-chancellors across the country. A number of stars also support the music event, including: Nicky Minaj, P-Diddy (aka Sean Combs, aka Money, aka P-Diddy), South African novelist J.M Coetzee, and Bob Geldof. Nicky Minaj, when asked, said she may be able to come if someone is able to look after her anaconda. Bob Geldof suggested he may be available for the charity event. “Not on a Monday,” he added, “I’m awful on Mondays.” He continued, “the plight of vice-chancellors is awfully sad. Do they even know it’s Christmas?” The group, Spare Change For ViceChancellors, have urged students to check out their petition, saying: “Next time you see a vice-chancellor in second-class don’t just walk on by, spare some change.”

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LIFESTYLE FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @ExeposeLStyle

Tweets of the week The best of the Lifestyle Twitterati’s musings and wit this week Tweet us @ExeposeLStyle Mimi Quinn @mimiquinn Why does everyone think they’re from London #SorryNotSurrey Shev @Shevvvv Watching a video about how artificial sweeteners aren’t actually bad for you has made my day and encouraged me to buy a diet coke Elin Davies @eeeeeelin Not a big fan of having to change my essay writing style to suit the individual wants of every single one of my lecturers Sarah Gough @sarahgoughy That time when you accidentally wrote steak instead of stake in your essay #Freudianslip Will Cafferky @wcafferky I feel like Kanye wouldn’t interrupt me... we have a special rapport.

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Eamonn Crowe & Jack Wardlaw lifestyle@exepose.com

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Get the most from your £9,000

Eamonn Crowe, Lifestyle Editor, tells you how to squeeze tuition fees for all they are worth

UNLESS you are some kind of proausterity freak, you probably agree with me that the astonishingly high tuition fees of £9,000 per year are utterly ridiculous. Nine bags a year is just far too much and therefore, we need to reclaim every penny we can by whatever means possible. Here are some of my handy tips and tricks for getting the most out of your university tuition fees (A.K.A. how to bleed Exeter dry.)

1) Steal toilet roll Toilet paper is an annoying necessity. It never lasts long enough and the things it’s used for are de�initely not pretty. However, you basically can’t live without it, unless you have a lifetime’s supply of Amazonian leaves… or you’re Bear Grylls. This is why I advocate stealing toilet paper from campus. Go forth, Exetarians and �ill your oversized backpacks with the best toilet roll from our �ine campus’ plethora of urination stations. Top tip: the toilets by the Ram are a particularly easy target, as the cleaners just leave rolls of the stuff lying around.

2) Shower on campus Part of coming to university is that the majority of us now have quasi– �inancial independence. What I mean by this is that we pretty much have to pay our own way, but we can still run crying to mum and dad when we spend a bit too much in Mozzers.

One aspect of the whole self-suf�iciency thing is paying your own bills, and bills are expensive. Just ask my friends who were recently charged £320 for a month’s worth of water usage. So, I hear you cry, what is the solution to this very expensive problem? Well the answer, of course, is to shower on campus, duh. The Russell Seal Fitness Centre is your best bet for a morning rinse, but there are apparently hidden showers in both the

Forum and the Business School.

Be prepared to get some funny looks on Forum Hill when you rock up with your dressing gown It is your task to �ind these secret gems and spread the good news to your fellow students. Just be prepared to get some funny looks on Forum Hill when you rock up with your dressing gown and wash bag. 3) Charge everything on campus As well as paying for the privilege of washing yourself, we are also now expected to pay for the electricity that fuels our Net�lix addictions and breakfast blending adventures. However, every penny spent topping up your electric meter could have gone towards funding a TP Friday. My tip to avoid such unnecessary costs is to bring all of your electronic devices to campus and charge them there. Set up camp in the library and make use of the multiple plug sockets (there are even ones in the �loor

for crying out loud) by plugging in all your electronics (yes, including your blender). Then leave the library and go about your day, only returning at 6pm to collect your fully charged items. Don’t worry about thieves (it’s Exeter) and be prepared to gain a lot of enemies. Library infamy and a fully charged laptop… what more could you want? 4) Live in the Forum Why not just avoid university outgoings (that means expenses, not nights out) altogether by moving into the Forum? It’s got plenty of places to hang out, eat and even sleep. Plus, you’ll have the concierge to keep you company... what a guy!

Hey Nickie, you’re so wise!

Nickie Shobeiry, our Lifestyle Agony Aunt, is here to solve all of your problems (well, sort of) EXE ON THE BEACH

Dear Nickie, I’m in a real pickle. Last week, I got with my �latmate’s ex-girlfriend from home and now I’m really confused about what to do. They dated since they were 16 and then broke up last year, but ended up both coming to Exeter. He says he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, but I think he still does so I’m scared to tell him what happened. Where do I go from here? J.S.

J.S., Damn you for making my head hurt. I would much rather answer questions about Creme Eggs in vaginas. For the purposes of this answer, I’m assum-

ing this girl isn’t suddenly the love of your life. Now, is your �latmate just a �latmate, or a friend? Do you feel like that question is letting you off the hook? It’s not. Either drag your secret to the grave and try not to sweat whenever her name is mentioned, or confess and accept the potentially thunderous rage of your �latmate. Not to get your hopes up, but he might just not care, considering a year has passed (and I’m quite sure neither of them have been celibate that entire time). Good luck, god speed, etc.

Nickie XOXO

LUSTFUL LECTURING

Every week in my Monday morning lecture, I literally cannot concentrate because I’m so distracted by the super hot lecturer. He has that whole tortured smouldering academic thing going on and I just can’t get enough. Is it wrong to fancy your lecturer? And how can I start focusing on my notes again, instead of staring at his dreamy biceps? E.L. Oh, E.L.,

A good portion of your class is probably suffering, too, so if you leave campus with nothing but drawings of your tortured smouldering academic’s face, don’t feel too bad. At the end of the day, you’re showing up to Monday morning lectures, which is a feat in itself, even if it is for someone’s upper arm muscle. I’m sure you’ve picked up a few key words here and there as you’ve been staring into his pores – you know, enough to get you through that summer exam that somewhat determines your future. You’ll be �ine. And to answer your other question: no, it’s not wrong to fancy your lecturer, but saying ‘fancy’ at your age is. Shame on you.

Nickie XOXO

EXEPOSÉ

Blind Date: most hated edition Gemma Joyce, Editor, and Harrison Jones, Editor, went to Pieminister and discovered that they despise one another What Gemma thought of Harrison

1.) What did you expect from your blind date? Pie and yet another disappointingly contradictory explanation of what “pigeon” means. 2.) What was your �irst impression of your date? When I �irst saw Harrison peeking over the table on proo�ing day, trying and failing to reach a slice of pizza with his tiny arms, it took me a while to realise that someone hadn’t brought their bearded child in to see what Devonshire House looked like, but that he was actually a student trying to become Editor of Exeposé. It was the beginning of a long and not so beautiful friendship. 3.) What Pieminister pie would your date be? De�initely the deerstalker - by far the most pretentious pie. Besides, I’m a vegetarian so I wouldn’t go near it. 4.) Were there any awkward moments? When I jokily asked him if he was going to pay and he looked at me like I’d spat in his face. What a gentleman. 5.) What was your date’s most attractive feature? The piercing. I joke - what was he thinking?! 6.) What was their worst trait? When he’s ordering food or coffee and goes for some obscure combination and claims it’s because he has a “unique palate”… I’ll never forget the look of utter contempt on the barista’s face as she poured three different shots of syrup into his latté. 7.) Were you a fan of your date’s out�it? Much as I’m a fan of grubby head-bands that you can smell from across the long lounge, I’m not sure it’s quite date material. Even at a takeaway pie shop. 8.) Would your date work at The Sun or The Times?

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The Sun if it was located in the light that he thinks shines from Owen Jones’ arse. I’ve heard Harrison has this Kleenex he used and he’s going to do some kind of African voodoo with it to make him like him. 9.) On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the evening? (10 being the best) -3. Could have been worse, he could have suggested we stay in Pieminister longer than it took for him to choose his pie (which was uncomfortably long for everyone involved). Could have been better, he could have bought me the Jägerbomb he owes me. 10.) Would you meet up with them again? Not through choice. 11.) What will your boyfriend think about you going on a blind date with another man? I showed him a picture of Harrison and he laughed uncontrollably - I don’t think he sees him as competition. 12.) Would you snog, marry or avoid your date? It’s felt like we’ve been in some sort of traumatising three-way marriage with Exeposé for the last year but it’s de�initely time for an unfriendly divorce.

What Harrison thought of Gemma

gusting awkwardness. However, the smell following Gemma’s seventh moment of �latulence was particularly awkward. 5.) What was your date’s most attractive feature? The back of her head as she walked away. The mildly sickening wobble of that gammy noggin added to the satisfaction of the date being over. 6.) What was their worst trait? Gemma’s culinary manners never fail to amaze. Like some sort of deprived rat, she managed to cram an entire pie into her gob, spluttering mangled pieces of vegetarian gravy onto my shirt and face. It was not a pleasant scene. 7.) Were you a fan of your date’s out�it? At least it wasn’t an SS uniform. 8.) Would your date work at The Sun or The Times? I’m not sure if I’m more sickened by the outdated institution of page three or the idea of Gemma pouting on it, but given that you need a reading age of seven to understand The Sun, she might have a better chance there. 9.) On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the evening? (10 being the best) -1. 10.) Would you meet up with them again? Maybe if I had a custard pie and a quick getaway plan. 11.) What will your girlfriend think about you going on a blind date with another woman? She should see it as a public service to a poor young lady in dire need of good company, but she’ll probably see it as a decent reason to slap me. 12.) Would you snog, marry or avoid your date? Avoid.

1.) What did you expect from your blind date? A dazzling princess riding in on a unicorn carrying chocolate and beer and stuff. 2.) What was your �irst impression of your date? I looked deeply into the eyes of Gemma Louise Joyce and thought “you’ll do.” But having looked at her Facebook pro�ile and realised that no one else would run for Editor with me, in our �irst face-to-face meeting, I guess my �irst thought was that a deranged little goblin-typecreature had escaped from the zoo/Crazyville. On our actual *Picture to scale date, my �irst impression didn’t register through the sense of impending dread and the dawning realisation that this was a bloody stupid idea. 3.) Which Pieminister pie would your date be? A Moo. 4.) Were there any awkward moments? Frankly, the whole affair was just a messy shambles of hideous, dis-

Written in the stars

Lucien Fulcher, our resident astrologist, rubs his crystal ball(s) to predict what’s in store for Lifestyle readers this week...

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) Exams loom large in the distance, but not yet largely enough for you to renounce your debauchery and wild ways! Onwards perky Piscean, unto alcohol, Arena, and the dawn! Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) Your spirit animal, the toad, will be of particular inspiration to you when you encounter difficulties whilst trying to study. Lucky item of furniture: canvas wardrobe. Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) All those hours spent practising your puppy dog eyes in the mirror will come lethally in handy this weekend when confronted with a situation you had previously thought implausible. Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20) A perspicacious parsimonious approach, avoiding the perfidious and the Panglossian, may well present a portal to a more proficuous lifestyle. Unlucky letter: P. Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22) A volatile Jupiter, which has been playing havoc with your balance this month, should have stabilised by next week, allowing you to pursue your dreams of becoming an Olympic gymnast once more. Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22) “Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience deceptive, judgement difficult.” These words from Hippocrates are the answers you are looking for. Reflect on them and learn, little Leo. Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22) “Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience deceptive, judgment difficult.” These words from Hippocrates are the most concise pile of shite you will read this week. Ignore them and carry on as you were.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22) Although your rapier wit is often a handy way to slice yourself out of tricky situations, interpretive dance or humming could be equally effective in times of real crisis. Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) A lot of your problems, dear Scorpy, would be solved were you to be slightly more welcoming to change and a lot less reactionary. If you continue in your traditionalist ways, a revolution will hinder you. Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) The worst part about being beautiful is frequent attention from unwanted people. Fortunately, the stars thought you should be reminded, this will never be a problem of yours. Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) Your goatish Capricornian features, particular agility and surefootedness will be tremendously useful soon, but don’t neglect levelling up your other skills in the meantime. Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) Look to your past this week to help you find a path for your future, as the stars indicate that something you once did may have an effect on your life now.

MUSIC

NEWS 1-5

COMMENT FEATURES 10-13 6-9

MUSIC

LIFESTYLE 14-15

Monday 16 March Battle of the Bands Final Cavern Tuesday 17 March Beats and Bass: Love Saves The Day Launch Cavern Tuesday 17 March Rustie Lakota, Bristol Tuesday 17 March Dead Meadow The Exchange, Bristol Wednesday 18 March Laura Doggett Cavern Thursday 19 March The Stranglers o2 Academy, Bristol Friday 20 March Muse Great Hall Friday 20 March Magic Hatstand’s Quirk Cavern Tuesday 24 March Mahatma: High Tyde Cavern Wednesday 25 March GoGo Penguin Exeter Phoenix Friday 27 March Fyfe The Louisiana, Bristol

Spotlight

Muse @ The Great Hall Friday 20 March “Muse are playing Exerer. Exeter is getting good music. But not to worry: the sky is blue and the Queen is still alive. (God bless her).” -Tristan Gatward

FASHION PULLOUT

SCREEN 22-23

BOOKS 24-27

ARTS 29-31

GAMES & TECH

33-35

SPORT 37-40

16 MARCH 2015 |

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MUSIC 16-20

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Catrin Hughes and Ellie Crisp chat with Warwickshire’s folk rock a�icionado Lucy Rose about rebellious fringes, side-on sleeping positions and all the types of roses in the world

EC: YOU’RE playing Bristol Thekla at the end of this month. How do you feel about gigging on a boat? Feeling pretty good about gigging on a boat. I think it’s one of the only Bristol venues that I haven’t played. It’s nice to do something different and I’ve heard lots of good things about it.

EC: Have you ever played on anything as peculiar? Umm, a couple of boats, one in London. I’ve de�initely done weirder. One in Milan, it was weird because it was in one of those crate containers. It was so cold it was like minus degrees.

CH: I saw you in Bristol last year. When I met you I was like: “TAKE A PHOTO WITH ME PLEASE LUCY.” But I was having a fringe nightmare, so we talked about the dif�iculties of having a full fringe. What is your advice for the fullfringers of the world? Less is more. The less I bother with my fringe, the more it respects me. I let it just be what it’s going to be. The more I start messing with it, the more it just rebels.

CH: I’ll straighten it in the morning and it’ll just react against me. Yeah it doesn’t want to be touched. It’s peculiar. I wash it and brush it and then put my �ingers either side of it and I pull it down really hard until it is completely straight. Does that make sense? CH: I’m giving it a go now. Well it has to be wet. As soon as you wash it, pull it down – it will look a bit like a brick fringe – leave it like that for a bit and just tussle it out or whatever. CH: Have you ever made a really noticeable mistake at a gig where you’ve had to c-c-c-c-cov-

er up? [Laughs] I see what you did there. I had to stop a gig before in America. We were there supporting a band. There was one boy in the front who was screaming the words to ‘Lines.’ It really took me by surprise. He was three foot from me and was like “IF YOU CAN SEE THROUGH IT ALL” and he just put me off so much. It got to the chorus and I forgot all my lyrics and had to stop the song. I had to be like “you’re amazing” but then it encouraged him to do it even more. People do heckle me a lot. I don’t know if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.

EC: You claim to sleep in the middle of your bed in one of your songs. Do you actually have a preference in sleeping position? Do you go for the foetal position or perhaps spread the limbs? Or if you are in the middle, do you sandwich yourself in between anything in particular? Urm, I guess it depends if you are sharing the bed or not. What would be my position? [Laughs] Well it did use to be bang in the middle with the two pillows I lie on and one either side of me. It is quite comforting. I always had a single bed so that’s what I was used to. Now I think I’m more of a side-on kind of person. Not foetal, not in-

tensely tight, more stretched out.

CH: Is there anything you can tell us about the album? I got my friend Sam Brooks, who is a great singer, to come and sing on one song. My friend Rae Morris is on a song as well. I haven’t actually told anyone its name yet. So far I’ve been banned from saying it. Maybe I’ll just tell you. I think it’s coming out in the summer, mid-July time. I want it to be called Work it Out. There’s a song called ‘Work It Out’ and that lyric seems to be running through a couple songs. I’m playing piano on a few songs, which is very different for me. I guess it’s a lot louder and bolder and more electric than the last album. The last album was de�initely more intimate.

It got to the chorus and I forgot all my lyrics and had to stop the song All the songs still mean a lot to me - they are still 100 per cent me and all songs I have written on my own. So, it’s still me, even though it is different.

EC: Just taking a new direction? Yeah, just trying to evolve I guess. I just didn’t want to make the same record twice. It’s very different. I am a bit worried.

CH: I have a radio show with my friend Ben - who is the person I went to see your gig with. He’s a massive fan as well and a little bit in love with you [small giggle from Lucy]. Okay so I am going to give you names of roses and you have to say whether they are True (Hughes) or False - as Hughes is my surname –

that’s why it is called Hughes or False. This is dragging on a bit now.

Okay.... Hughes or False, okay.

HUGHES OR FALSE

1. The Magic Thorn. Hughes. No that’s false. OH DAMN. 2. Ann’s Beautiful Daughter. Hughes That is Hughes so that is right. 3. Bubble Bath. False. That’s actually true. DAMMIT. 4. Fizzy Lemon Rose. Hughes. Thats false. Lucy c’mon. I’m sorry I’m really bad at games! [three more incorrect answers...] Okay you’ll be able to get this last one. Oh Jesus. Okay. 8. The Shiver-ing Rose. False Yes it’s false. We did it! YES! Such a great game. Well that’s all our questions. We just wanted to say thank you for having the time to talk to us. Thanks so much! [Leaves interview]... I love her.

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Old New Borrowed Blue We’ve had a laugh you

Wake me up before you GoGo Penguin Tristan Gatward, Music Editor, talks to Chris Illingworth from Manchester’s Mercury Prize nominated jazz trio GoGo Penguin before their headline show at Exeter Phoenix

Is there a story behind your name, or do you just love penguins? We got together to start a band purely just to write some tunes, we had very little intention of gigging. We just thought we’d try out some ideas. But then one of our mates who ran a bar in Manchester asked us to play. Basically, we didn’t have a name so we had to get one pretty quick. There was this stuffed thing on the wall of this guy’s room. I think it was actually a magpie but it looked like a penguin. I’m not sure where the GoGo bit came from but that’s the origin of the Penguin. How would you describe your sound? If I’m honest, as a band we try to avoid describing it. If we put a label on it the danger is we’d start to think in that way, and miss things we might have otherwise spotted. I mean, originally I was starting out as a classical pianist, and growing up only listened to classical music. But pretty soon after that, I got into Led Zeppelin, and then Green Day, Nirvana and Marilyn Manson. Music’s free to do what it wants to do. We hear what we want to try and say, rather than “oh, this one has a bit of a jazz reference.” All we do is make instrumental music, if people want to call it jazz or electronic then it’s �ine with us. Where does the UK stand on jazz? I think it’s pretty solid. Especially when we’re abroad, we hear a lot of good things said about the UK jazz scene, and Manchester in particular seems to have quite a reputation for it. I think again it’s this thing of overlaps in genre. There’s always going to be a traditional jazz scene, for people to play classical music, but it’s a performance style that’s already been developed. Everybody knows each other and shares ideas, so you end up with a lot of new things being created. You end up with some quite interesting pieces. Traditional jazz usually focuses on one lead, how does writing change within the band aesthetic?

It’s interesting saying that, we always want to maintain with us that it is a band. E.S.P. were a big in�luence on me when I was growing up, and they had a powerful sound based on the combination of the three. I’ve played a bit of bass before, and I’m really into beats now; I can’t play drums but have always been interested in mixing, so we’ll be able to sync a little bit of how we play to how each other will think, but we’d never impose an idea on the other. If we’re writing an idea - and we’re writing a new album at the moment - everyone will just be chipping in their own ideas, and there are ups and downs and differences but we always end up going in the right direction. I guess that’s just lucky that we’re likeminded enough to have an idea and want to end up in the same place. There are overlaps but we’re de�initely all still individual people, and that makes it really easy to write something that sounds like three different people.

If you could work with any other musician or producer, who would it be? I think there are a few at the moment, but Bjork has got to be the main one. She’s just unbelievable. To be able to look back at all the albums she’s created, and the way she works with musicians, is just something else. I mean, she’s been the one for the three of us where we’ve thought “that’d be unbelievable.” But then there’s Jon Hopkins, and he’s been absolutely unbelievable. At the moment, there’s still a lot we can do just with the band as it is. People have asked if we’d want to add synths or go more electronic, but I think we’re all trying to push the instruments we’ve got as far as we can before we go onto that. There’s de�initely a long way we can go down the line �irst. v2.0 got nominated for the Mercury Awards, did much change for you following that? It was a really interesting time for us, we were playing a lot in Europe and picking up a following over there.

We’d been on tour in Germany and came back with a phonecall telling us we’d been nominated, and it was unbelievable. It’s been amazing, I think things like the Mercury Awards, appearances on Jools Holland and the Jamie Cullum show, and Jazz Fusion on the radio, have just given a massive boost to us as they’ve got our music out to people who mightn’t have heard us otherwise.

Maybe I’d get a troupe of penguins and teach people how to dance People are now interested who might have dismissed us as just a jazz band. We were quite lucky as they usually have a token jazz band [on the Mercury Awards] and whether we were it or not I’m not sure, but there was Polar Bear as well, meaning the both of us got more coverage and were talked about more. It’s gratifying to see all people, from younger than us to those you’d maybe expect to see in a ‘typical’ jazz crowd, bopping along and chatting to us after shows.

Have you ever played the South West before? No, nope. This is the �irst time we’re playing in the South West. We’re really wondering what it’s going to be like and how people are going to react. In Scotland, we had three sold out shows from three, so we’re hopeful, it’s looking promising!

When jazz takes over! Where do you think music will be in 30 years? Well at the moment, especially in pop, there seems to be a phase of going backwards. Especially the 80s, there seems to be a massive synth high right now. So either back again to the 70s or forward to the

90s. Hopefully even further than that to crazy bits of the 60s. There’s a book I’ve been reading, Hyperion by Dan Simmons, which follows a poet, and talks about how all the artists around him are into deconstructivism. There’s so much art that’s been explored, with everyone always trying to add something new, that at some point someone will have to strip away the bullshit. It might be quite a cool way of working, to just get rid of bits. What would you strip away? Oh I can’t say that! There are people who I wouldn’t miss at all in the pop world but I’ll leave the names unmentioned, not to seem too harsh!

Finally, if all the world turned deaf, how would you go around keeping your audience? [Laughs] God, I’m not used to being asked these kind of questions. Maybe I’d get a troupe of penguins and teach them to dance. People could de�initely get an impression of our music from that!

GoGo Penguin play Phoenix on Friday March 25, and their stunning second album v2.0 is out now. Jazzy.

Hello again. we? The It and I, haven’t seems like only last time you yesterday I was pitching the heard from me idea for this column in the Xmedia you were a office. I canconfronted still remember by the nods of approval, the gasps of awe, the hoard of sinisterly imposed general sense of apathetic concutouts of my face. I am tent – what a day. With farewells in neither for, mind, I’mresponsible going to present younor with a series of tracks befi tting of the party to, the mass distribumost emotional of goodbyes. tion of my face. I am led to believe that it is integral to Old: The Doors - The End the artistic Ex“This is the vision end, myof only friend, posé music, and student the end. ” Far be it from me to be theas harbinger of doom, media a whole. instead I reckon I’ll leave Therefore, have pal littleJim that to ourI good choice butHetocertainly consent. Morrison. had a penchant dramatic; in You have for mythe sincerest the live version he goes all Oediapologies. Noneteless, pus on us and proclaims he we wants must press on. I have to fuck his mother. I hopeplenty my defrom this column is more ofparture festive cheer to shove civil, at least slightly. down your ears and limited column New: Jenny Hvalinches – The in which to do it. Battle is Over Hval’s sprawling lyrics are pumped with all the emotion Old and wit you would expect from Asomeone Spaceman CameatTravelso adept blending existential crisis social comling – Chris dewith Burgh mentary. Unfortunately, the link Apparently, in an interto this week’s theme is merely a view, dereading Burghofsaid ratherChris tenuous the tiThe content itself isafter altogether hetle.wrote this song more highbrow than this column wondering what it would could ever dream of being.

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9-minute version. I’ll most fondly remember David for writing one ¬New of the three albums my mum Clark Winter owns, –along with Linn Billy Joel and Dido. Without the musical In the absence of any foundation she laid down, I decent new Christmas wouldn’t be at the dizzying songs, ﬁgured heightsI of musicalI’d journalism I’ve reached today. settle for something

winter-themed. This track Blue: Blue - If You Come Back lifted from Clark’s eponyIf we’ve learned one thing about mous album treasures, isn’t the it’s bestthat our national theyonhave a startling to one there, but it’sability the one disguise nonsensical or sinister that’s most about lyricism behind somewinter. bubbly pop Apparently a “linn” is ita once wamusic. Well they manage again with this classic: “If you terfall or precipice. Bet you come back in my life, I’ll be there didn’t ‘til theknow end of that? time.” Nothing says goodbye quite like the threat of impendingBorkidnap.

rowed Micmac – The Snowman Theme (Remix)

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Class B: STONER 101 For folk’s sake MUSIC

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Joshua Rotchelle preaches on the chilled, laid-back genre: Stoner Bashing out a view on This is the Kit’s record

THERE are few genres that earn quite as much ire simply from their name as “stoner.” When people hear the “s” word, they instantly think of dribbling potheads talking about channelling their positive energy while packing their pipe. This is a shame, because a lot of the time, stoner is musically sophisticated enough to make musicians in more popular genres look a lot like a poorly rolled zoot: fragile, ineffective and a complete mess. Part of the problem is that stoner, as a rule is pretty heavy listening. Even entry level stuff like

Nebula demands far more attention than one would expect. Indeed, Welcome to Sky Valley by Kyuss, widely considered to be one of the best albums by the band that �irst popularised stoner, comes with instructions on the CD case to “listen carefully and with undivided attention.” However, the grass really is greener on the other side (har har). Stoner is a remarkably diverse genre. Witch’s frenetic Seer is miles off from Weedeater’s sludgy and steelheavy God Luck and Good Speed, Speed, which in turn couldn’t be further from the likes of Sleepy Sun’s Sandstorm Woman, Woman, with its desert-haze riffs, so laid back they’re horizontal. The golden age of stoner, however, is long gone. Hitting its peak in the 90s, it’s since fallen out of the

public eye. The only band which even approaches fair renown are the Queens of the Stone Age, headed by stoner icon Josh Homme, and their last big release was... Like Clockwork in 2013. The underground scene has been relatively quiet as well; few bands have been poking their heads above the murky waters of unsigned status.

The grass really is greener on the other side That’s not to say said waters are not teeming with (puffer)�ish, however. Heavy hitters DOPETHRONE, as well as up-and-coming Ukraine rockers Stoned Jesus (my personal favourite) have been swarming to the surface, among other bandcamp blockbusters, many proudly sporting “100 per cent DIY” tags. I’m not going to pretend that stoner is the next big thing. It’s a genre past it’s prime, and if there’s any future action coming up, it’s still a ways off. But that’s no reason not to give it a shot. Like that tired old codger with the wizened features and wizardlike beard, it still has a few leases of life, and leaves, in its pipe.

Ciaran, the hermit Crib Ciaran Willis, Screen Editor, reviews new release from The Cribs THERE’S something noble about The Cribs. They’ve forged into the musical headwind and kept on carving out classic indie-pop songs - the kind of songs that make you lurch around Saturday night discos like a crazy, angelic indie-puppet. I defy you to listen to ‘Another Number’ or ‘Men’s Needs’ and not dance around like a brilliant lunatic. They’re like The Strokes playing in an industrial factory. Or The Smiths splitting the atom. Or Sonic Youth making fumbling musical intercourse with Teenage Fanclub. What I’m getting at is that The Cribs are best when they play those songs that are so catchy they make you forget your miserable life for a moment; they make you lose yourself in a deliciously angular guitar hook and a chorus so catchy you forget to buy your girlfriend a birthday card. For All My Sisters, the trio’s sixth album, sees The Cribs continue

to craft great pop songs. ‘Burning For No One’ starts out with a pretty simple guitar riff, but then the bass makes a cool little detour. It is classic romantic Cribs, with its nostalgia, and its yearning: “Like a candle on a vacant table/ Searching for your eyes/ I’m burning for no one.”

The best songs just wash over you The whole album is teeming with hazy romantic moments. And it’s at its best when it mixes the walls of guitar with winding melodies. ‘Pacific Time’ has a lovely languorous feel - like being seduced by a slow musical crush. At �irst you’re unsure. You kind of like it. Then you tentatively fall for it. The best songs just wash over you. ‘An Ivory Hand’ sounds like Weezer playing under a waterfall. ‘Different Angle’ has

a lovely guitar melody wandering through the tune beneath crooning ‘aah’s. With Ric Ocasek at the helm, it’s not surprising the album moves so easily between sleek angular pop and melodic grunge. ‘City Storms’ sounds like being caught in sheet lightning between The Strokes and Pavement, while ‘Spring On Broadway’ shows that fusion of British and American in�luences, starting with slow shimmering guitar before going all nice and fuzz-poppy. The album has a few grainy, weaker points - like ‘A Simple Song’ and ‘Mr Wrong.’ But we won’t dwell on them. On the whole, The Cribs have kept on forging ahead with their mixture of romance and riot, of dissonance and melody. Filling that void in the life of lonely hearts and drunken indie-kids and sullen scenekids with great guitar music. There’s something noble about that.

NO ONE but Line-of-Best-Fit seem to have taken any notice of Kate Stables’ This Is The Kit, and I don’t understand why. If folk is your thing, and perhaps maybe it isn’t mine anymore, This Is The Kit could be your banner[band]. I mean it’s testament to Kate Stables that I took her last album Krulle Bol deep into my repitoire during my Laura Marling phase, a time where I was convinced anyone else with a voice and a guitar was a heretic. Bashed Out is set to be released in April and is Stables’ third album. It seems to be an amalgam of previous releases, more crystallised, more absolute; This is the Kit. Produced by The National’s Aaron Dessner, there seems to be something of The National’s un�linching melancholy pervading the banjoclothed candidness of Stables gambol into the abundance of shit that life holds. Bashed Out is full of slowburners (I wonder why a Dessner has championed her?!) that lay bare the scope of Stables’ talents.

The banjo triumphs, skilfully understated, steering clear of more crude Mumford & Sons imaginings of the instrument Stables’ voice is perhaps what impresses most, in both senses of the word, with its crisp purity elastically navigating melodies in delicious �licks and warbles, and possessing such delicacy that it genuinely affects you in its honeysuckle tones. In opener ‘Misunderstanding,’ her voice does just that in an arresting, but subtle way, harmonising with band staple Rozi Plain in the chorus. The banjo triumphs here, skilfully understated, steering clear of more crude Mumford & Sons imaginings of the instrument. ‘Magic Spell’ initially risks sounding like a (really good) folk-boymeets-girl movie hit. However, the bridge dispels this with its twinkling grating and brushed snare drum, warping the twee melody - a testament to Stables’ maturity in song-writing. ‘Bashed Out’ is a worthy title track, and is

instantly familiar. It does, however, bizarrely, feel slightly out of place. It sounds like the missing track from Krulle Bol. Is it a problem that one of my favourite tracks of the album is the one that should really have already been made? Perhaps not. Perhaps it marks a mastering, two albums on, of the tender, hypnotic folk-psychedelia/rock presented in

Stables proffers track after track of glancing beauty her debut �ive years ago. Over the course of Bashed Out Stables proffers track after track of glancing beauty. It feels unassuming, subtly con�ident; ‘Vitamins’ quietly toys with its reverb-y, nearly jazzy bass, in the delicious accompanying strings of ‘Spores Are Settling.’ ‘Nits,’ unfortunately and ironically, niggles irritably. It is dull and twee, and rests too heavily on the folk tropes that Stables otherwise seems resist enough to avoid cliché and feel genuinely honest. I can’t help but feel the precision, and the unfaultable folk-ness of the album is suggestive of the wider condition of the folk genre. It can triumph, be delightfully intricate, but in the end, in the ultimate execution of near-perfect folk, ‘folk’ seems to become the quali�ier. This is a triumphant folk album, but is it a triumphant album? Of folk, one is left wondering: ‘what else is this doing?’ Bashed Out is due to be released on Brassland Recordings on 7 April.

KATE BURGESS, MUSIC EDITOR

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Musical futures: so, what happens now?

MUSIC

NEWS 1-5

COMMENT FEATURES 10-13 6-9

LIFESTYLE 14-15

MUSIC 16-20

FASHION PULLOUT

SCREEN 22-23

BOOKS 24-27

ARTS 29-31

GAMES & TECH

33-35

SPORT 37-40

16 MARCH 2015 |

Our Writers predict...

“Kendrick Lamar will continue to be great, but not as great as people say.” DEREK DASHIELL “McBackstreetDestinyStepsClub7 will be spawned from the ashes of all former music ‘glories’ - you heard it here first.” HANNAH BUTLER, NEWS EDITOR “The world will finally stop caring about the shit that pours out of Noel Gallagher’s mouth.” LEWIS NORMAN, ONLINE MUSIC EDITOR

Kate Burgess, Music Editor, gets her Trelawney on and predicts the (musical) future

KANYE West does it again. The 2016 Grammys sees the usual plethora of plebs lining up to extend a dripping ‘thhaankk-youu OMG’ to all their fans. But hark, some genuine artistry is celebrated with James Blake and album number three. Kanye is having none of it, however. This guy looks an awful lot like a regenerated Beck. What’s the betting he writes his own music and plays multiple instruments too? Much to the guffawing of music moguls Beyoncé and Jay-Z (limpet Kim Kardashian, too, is still there). Kanye storms up to the stage, contesting Blake’s win. The joke is on them though; this is the album Kanye’s collaborated on. He’s seemingly forgotten. The War on Drugs An Ocean Between the Waves Chosen by Tristan Gatward

‘AN Ocean Between the Waves’ by The War on Drugs is an overly long snore-fest of sneezy snares, dreary vocals, and guitar noises that grind my ear canals like an iPhone ringtone that wakes you up when you don’t stick it on silent before going to sleep at night. At best this song can be described as eight minutes of Starbucks rock (said Mark Kozelek, Sun Kil Moon) that would fail to rouse someone even after three of their morning double espressos, and at worst like six people wearing grandad jumpers trying to outdo each other with quirky phrases that don’t make sense, such as “an ocean in between the waves.” What can that even mean? Life is pretty short, heed my warning. Avoid this song, and go and do something more worthwhile with eight minutes of your day. JIM ATHERTON, MUSIC EDITOR ARQUETTE

HIPSTER outlet Urban Out�itters are left smarting after their claims that they are the world’s biggest vinyl sellers are swiftly put to bed by Amazon. In the build up to Christmas 2015, UO make a bid at regaining any of the crediblity - or rather ‘cred’- that they had previously accrued. Their marketing ploy to go even more retro than vinyl completely �lops. It turns out that portable live performances aren’t practical for your morning commute from the leafy suburbs (don’t tell Kaleb!) to Islington. Even Boris Johnson (still the Mayor) has to admit the tube network simply couldn’t cope with all that cool. He is now working with UO to rebrand Boris Bikes.

THE game is up. Lady Gaga holds a press conference in November in response to growing chat-magazine speculation surrounding changes in her weight, hair, face, clothes and pretty much everything else. Cosmo offers some particularly insightful, non-invasive, non-sensationalist guesses regarding our favourite star: “If you look at the bags under her eyes you can totally see she’s a terrible woman who has let herself go. She totally needs a man in her lyfe.” Such speculation and sensation was somewhat rebutted when Gaga expressed the desire to be normal. “I was over in England and discovered Marks & Sparks - I’ll never look back.”

“Ed Sheeran - Divide. Or maybe Subtract. GAME CHANGER. “ POLLY BOWDEN

“Leonard Cohen will finally be recognised to be the second coming of Christ, and a new religion Cohenism will manifest and spread around the globe like wildfire. Wildfire that sounds like sweet, sweet, Leonard.” TRISTAN GATWARD, MUSIC EDITOR

Our Columist: Will Cafferky’s Year Will finally gets to meet his lifelong heroes Blue. They ask him what tacit misogyny means. Too embarrassed to answer, Will dons his best cockney accent and has now opened a nightclub with the band. Will doesn’t care anymore. Will just wants love.

“The Strawbs will release another album. I will be the only person who notices or cares.” GARETH ROBERTS

É Music: you’re ﬁred!

The Gatward/ Burgess regime has come to an end. “Oh no,” you cry. “What can we take minimal interest in now?” Don’t worry, your new music editors are here: Atherton is Nick; Costello is Margaret; and you, dear post-modern reader, are Alan. This is the Exeposé Music Apprentice, and we are out. The War on Drugs made a good song. Yes. This is good. I like this song. It speaks to me. Wonder what Jim thinks.

Shabazz Palaces made a good song. Yes. This is good. I like this song. It speaks to me. Wonder what Katie thinks.

TRISTAN GATWARD, MUSIC EDITOR

KATE BURGESS, MUSIC EDITOR

Shabazz Palaces Ishamel Chosen by Kate Burgess

‘ISHAMEL’ could really do with a tune. Muf�led voices, solitary piano notes and a percussion section dominated by an overzealous symbol player isn’t really my cup of tea. It’s the kind of music they’d play at Magic Hatstand, except you’re listening to it sober without any hats. The rap sounds like it was recorded underwater and the incessant repetition of two oscillating notes really grates. Every element of the song clashes. Their heavy use of autotune is clearly intended to make it “dreamy and otherworldly,” but that doesn’t mean good. And if you were hoping the lyrics would offer some redemption, you can think again. Repetitive: “Sinister Sinister plans or sinister do/ Sinister motives, sinister moves/ sinister shine, sinister moves/ sinister hearts against the groove” Deep, right? KATIE COSTELLO, MUSIC EDITOR ARQUETTE

THE FASHION ISSUE AUTUMN/WINTER 2015/16

EXEPOSÉ

BY JACK WARDL AW

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Boys will be boys We’re only just starting to leave behind Autumn/Winter 2015 but already, the menswear shows for Autumn/Winter 2016 have happened. These are the things to know for next year:

What’s hot:

Burberry Prorsum

Gucci

Rick Owens

Saint Laurent

Christopher Bailey seems to go from strength to strength every season. This collection was, yet again, perfectly pitched to his audience. Channeling the bohemian artist every man secretly wishes he could be, Bailey showed lashings of suede, fringing and all manner of relaxed ‘70s inspired references in an eclectically authentic mixture of colours, ranging from jewelled tones of emerald to sandy beiges. The fringed ponchos and bags were particular highlights and will spawn a million highstreet copies. Bailey always comes up with something totally unique, and this collection was no exception.

All eyes were on Gucci during MFW to see how the newly appointed Creative Director Alessandro Michele would make his mark on the prestigious brand. He gave us a remarkably different Gucci man from his predecessor. This new man was much softer and with a touch of the intellectual about him. Instead of the hyper-masculine sex-bomb that we used to see, these clothes were almost gender neutral. His collection reflected a slow but gradual leaning towards the increased gender fluidity between menswear and ready-to-wear that we have been seeing of late. It was a bold move, but a strong one.

#Freethepeen started trending thanks to Owens after he sent male nudity down the runway. With strategically placed cutouts and short hems, one could have missed the occasional flashes of helmet or scrote, but those on the front row were not so lucky, some gasping when they saw flashes of wrinkled skin. Backstage he pointed out that in sculpture, we see it all the time, so why not on the runway? He’s got a point. No one gasps at Michael Angelo’s David, so what’s so shocking about a flash of peen on the catwalk? At the end of the day, runway shows aren’t meant to be taken literally.

Hedi Slimane is possibly the coolest man in Paris right now, and his ability to make anything achingly cool was excercised in full for AW16. This season, he decided to look to his surroundings and designed a collection with a distinctly French flavour after his Americana rebels from last season. Cue berets, breton stripes and some characteristically penis-crushingly tight leather jeans. As always, there were biker jackets that you would kill to own, but only Hedi can make a pink fluffy coat the most desirable coat of the season. His Saint Laurent gang are always the arbiters of cool, and this year is no different.

Part of the ﬂock For your A/W 16 outwear, you can have anything as long as it’s shearling. Seen everywhere from J.W. Anderson (left) to Dolce & Gabbana, it’s the only way to wrap up warm.

Check, please If in doubt, wear checks. They were on everything at Giorgio Armani (right), Tiger of Sweden and Paul Smith.

Real men wear pink Not just for Wednesdays, this was the colour of the season. Rock it on jackets, trousers or in your hair - as seen at Sibling.

Baggy trousers Suits get liberated with loose drop crotches. Follow Vivienne Westwood’s example - swing free gentlemen!

It’s all in the details If you’re looking to step up your look this season but are bored with jewellery, try Givenchy’s spiked mouthpieces (left) to attract attention in Timepiece, or if you’re tired of being a BNOC, don Agi & Sam’s lego mask (right) for a bit of anonymity and no one will ever know it’s you.

Guys, start practicing now because heels are getting higher. Total novices: start with Haider Ackermann’s boots (right) to get used to the sensation before attempting to master Saint Laurent’s cuban deathraps (above left). These are best left to the pros and kept away from the stairs in Arena.

If you’re bored withbeanies, then Emporio Armani has the solution. One part Moroccan street vendor, four parts Thunderbirds. Totally F.A.B.

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Kanye West x Adidas Originals AW16

Victoria Beckham

Images

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

Kanye West at the 2014 Wireless Festival

Yeezus Christ!

Why can’t Kanye crack the fashion world? THERE are some people who are blessed with the ability to do many things really well. Beyoncé, for example, can sing beautifully, can dance better than just about anyone else out there and proved herself as a brilliant actress in Dreamgirls. Even Nigel Farage can simultaneously pull oﬀ looking like a twat, a bellend and a pervert all at once. Yes, there are many people out there who are talented at many things. Kanye West is not one of these people. To be perfectly honest, I’m not much of a fan of Kanye’s music, but I’m more concerned with his attempts to enter the fashion industry. He is certainly an interesting man with a lot to say, but it seems that the fashion industry just doesn’t want to listen and this has bruised his sizeable ego. I want to examine exactly why his repeated attempts to enter the notoriously ruthless world of fashion have failed thus far while his music career is showing no signs of waning. To begin with, here is a short list of some of the many things that Kanye blames for his failure to build a fashion empire overnight: celebrity, his skin colour and the fashion house Fendi. Let’s have a look at these one by one and try to unpick exactly what is wrong with blaming each of them.

Jourdan Dunn Olivier Rousteing

Kanye West AW13

Naomi Campbell

Kanye West SS12

If something is done well, you can say you don’t like it but you can’t say it’s not good

Malaika Firth

EXEPOSÉ

“If something is done well, you can say you don’t like it, but you can’t say it’s not good.” Have a guess, who said that? Victoria Beckham. Yes, that is the same Victoria Beckham who was a W.A.G., was part of the most successful girl band of all time and who once wore matching leather outfits with her husband on a night out. She is also the same Victoria Beckham who now heads up one of the most successful young fashion brands in the world (which is now worth £210 million), who was crowned Entrepreneur of the Year last year and whose show is one of the biggest on the New York Fashion Week calendar. Not bad for a celebrity. And what about Mary-Kate and Ashley? The Olsen twins were potentially the least credible celebrities alive when they were young, but the duo have proven that they know what they are doing when it comes to designing, as shown by their hugely successful fashion label ‘The Row’ which continues to be a popular show at NYFW and

is stocked in leading stores and online. These two stories are living proof that celebrity is no barrier to success.

If the quality were there, the fashion press would undoubtedly have seen it and respected it Just look at Kendall Jenner who has managed to shake off her family ties and is being taken seriously in the cut-throat world of modelling. The difference between her, Victoria, the Olsen twins and Kanye? Humility. When Kendall started modeling, she distanced herself from her name and her family – she actually banned Kim from attending any of her shows – so she could be taken seriously on her own. Victoria Beckham didn’t have a runway show for her first couple of seasons. Instead she started small, with a collection of only five dresses and invited leading fashion editors into a private meeting with her so that she could talk through the construction, the fabrics and the details of each dress by herself to show how seriously she was taking the whole enterprise And what did Kanye do? The exact opposite. His problem was that his clothes were not “good” in the first place. His first show, during Paris Fashion Week (the holy grail of high fashion) for Spring/Sumer 2012 was given a relatively easy ride by the fashion press. The critics accepted that his penchant for groupies, bling and exposed flesh meant that his clothes would be perfect for dressing his rapper mates and their leggy girlfriends, but the fact that the clothes were poorly fitted to the models and the choice of copious amounts of leather and fur for a Spring/Summer season proved that Kanye had not thought things through properly. They gave him the benefit of the doubt, however, and waited with baited breath for his next show. His second show didn’t fair much better. First off, he decided to stage it on completely the opposite side of Paris to all the other big names showing on that day like Alexander McQueen, Chanel and Valentino, while Louis Vuitton and Miu Miu were in the morning the day after. He had quite clearly placed himself in direct competition with these huge behemoths of fashion and expected the fashion press to trek across Paris to come and see him. Then there were the clothes, which yet again failed to

impress. There were no new ideas, nothing exciting, diﬀerent or particularly special. Granted, lots of things big designers show aren’t revolutionary, but at least they are crafted beautifully and cater to an established fan base. Kanye’s clothes were just that: clothes. The simple fact of the matter was that the clothes were just not good enough. It’s not a question of his celebrity damaging his prospects, because if the quality were there, the fashion press would undoubtedly have seen it and respected it. So much for count one of why Kanye has failed at fashion. Now the most tricky - his race. Kanye, in a 20 minute rant during his performance at the Wireless Festival last year, talked passionately about how “you know that there ain’t no black guys making no Louis Vuitton nothing” and how fashion houses are discriminating against him because he is a black man. These claims are harder to refute, because there is the possibility that they are true. Fashion is notorious for having issues with race. He forgot to mention a few key people during his talk of “breaking down barriers” however. Naomi Campbell is black and is widely regarded as one of the best models of all time, while Jourdan Dunn and Malaika Firth, who was born in Kenya, are both hugely successful and perhaps most pertinently, Olivier Rousteing, a black Frenchman, has been the Creative Director of luxury French fashion house Balmain for the last four years and has made Balmain one of the most successful and sought after brands in the world. Now it is hard for me to suggest that what Kanye said about his race is categorically untrue, but the fashion industry has a brilliant ability to recognise talent where it sees it, and if all of these people of ethnic origin can succeed, there is no reason why Kanye could not if it was down to his skin colour alone. There goes count two, and as for count t h r e e , Fendi wouldn’t l e t him produce some leather

jogging trousers he designed. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Leather joggers are heinous and should never, ever be produced. Miraculously, however, all of this negativity hasn’t put Kanye oﬀ fashion, and he reappeared on our newsfeeds earlier this year with his collaboration with Adidas at New York Fashion Week. This collection was ever so slightly less crap than his others, but that’s because most of it was already designed for him by the likes of Helmut Lang, Raf Simons and Margiela. Lots of people were very quick to point out the irony of him presenting a collection at fashion week after having demanded at the Grammys that we should “respect the artistry” of music. Pot, kettle, black anyone?

Fashion designers take years to prove themselves Personally, I think we in the fashion industry know what we do really matters, despite what everyone outside of it might think, so we don’t take kindly to someone treating our work as a hobby or a joke. Designers spend their entire lives creating beautiful works of art – just look at the Alexander McQueen exhibition Savage Beauty – and so when someone comes swanning in attempting to go head-to-head with the big guns, we are right to be skeptical. Fashion designers take years to prove themselves and the only way you can do that is through experience after starting from the bottom. It doesn’t matter how great Kanye may or may not be at music, if he truly wants to succeed in fashion he has got to accept that he knows nothing and work from the ground up. Only when he has gained the experience from years of work, he MIGHT just be taken seriously.

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J.W. Anderson Consistently adamant that he does not design for genders, and merely designs for clothes themselves, Anderson once again showed a sterling collection for his eponymous label. The whole collection had a distinctly 80s vibe to it, in the oversized shoulders and the questionable colour combinations, but Anderson worked his magic and made these references relevant for today. In truth, despite the (at ﬁrst glance) ugly shapes and colours, this was a collection full of skill, knowledge and detail, and was another great oﬀering from the man of the moment.

Gareth Pugh

Get cape, wear cape: More a fashion statement than a warm cover-up, they may conjur up images of Superman, bedsheets tied around your neck and Dracula, but like it or not, capes are coming. For AW16, however, they are getting a chic make-over in bright colours and prints. Channel your inner Parisian with examples from Saint Laurent, Moncler and Versace. Just one tip, leave the underwear as outwear thing well alone. Don one this year and ﬁnd out your fashion superpower.

Walk th

Autumn/Winter 2016 is set to be of everything from the 70’s to Lo Army of Angels strutting their st Valentino show. Here is just a sm most interesting sh

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Ten years ago Gareth Pugh burst onto the scene and changed the fashion landscape of London. After showing in Paris since 2008, to mark the anniversary Britain’s most prominent rising star decided to come home and show in the V&A Museum in London. It was a celebration of England, through the St George’s Flag make-up and Sunderland football chants that interspersed the soundtrack, with some of Pugh’s most recognisable silhouettes being reworked in black fur, leather and plastic straws. It was a powerful warrior style collection, and his experiences in Paris gave a sleek gloss to everything that showed the skills that he has been honing for the last ten years.

Alexander Wang He is one of fashion’s favourite designers right now, and Wang proved why during his latest show in New York. Moving away from the sportswear and technology that has dominated his last few collections, this season he favoured something more visceral, more emotional. His army of punks stomped out in towering platform boots covered from head to toe in black, leather and fur, but there was a reﬁnement to the collection that came through metallic studs which trimmed coats wrapped around to create funnel necklines as though they were strings of pearls. Wang proved that he could strike the perfect balance between a strong aesthetic and highly desireable clothes, creating, as he did, some amazing jackets and chunky jumpers. It was a great new direction for him, and one that he can pull oﬀ with masterful skill.

Moschino Jeremy Scott ’s wacky pop-culture references have kept a smile firmly on our faces and a queue of people firmly outside shops to get their hands on the latest phone case and wacky-shaped bag. This time it was no different. After Barbie last season, it was Looney Tunes that adorned sweater dresses and the heads of teddy-bears that made up the bags. More 80s references came in the giant boom-box that was the backdrop to the collection and Lego-shades of blue, green and yellow that popped up throughout. It was like Marmite, you’ll either love it or hate it.

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Dolce & Gabbana

Victoria Beckham Victoria Beckham has very much shaken oﬀ the Spice Girls era as she debuted her most reﬁned collection to date in New York. She is now worth over £200 million and her show is one of the biggest at NYFW, and for good reason. Her desire to learn and to improve saw her looking to what real women will want to wear for this season, hence why the collection we saw had a comfortable, practical feel to it. The big cocoon coats looked super warm and the slouchy roll necks are going to be in high demand come winter. It was comfortable, but the cutouts and v-necked dresses meant that it was still sexy and elegant. It turns out she really does know what women want.

In the fifth year since Alexander McQueen’s death, it seems appropriate to look over the job that Sarah Burton has been doing to carry on his legacy. This collection was the epitome of her vision for the brand. It was still strong and directional, as McQueen’s were, but without his aggression. Instead, the softer approach of Burton is what has been key to her success. The collection frequently referenced the idea of a dying rose, wilting and fading, through the ragged edges, desaturated colour palette and delicate fabrications. There were also subtle nods to her past collections - the faded pink ruffled minidresses evoking her AW13 collection, the grahic red and peach looks harking back to SS14 and the closing gowns of chiffon, feathers and folklore-references looked to her AW15 offering. It was a firm reminder to the world that she is not trying to replicate McQueen’s work - after all, I don’t think there will ever be anyone who could - but that she is taking his philosophy and applying it to a modern context. This takes bravery, but thankfully Sarah has plenty of that to be getting along with.

Wild thing:

Love it or hate it, fur is going to be the best way to wrap up this winter. It doesn’t matter if it’s real, like at Marc Jacobs, Fendi and Louis Vuitton, or if it’s not - see Stella McCartney’s immense yeti jackets made from faux fur - as long as it’s ﬂuﬀy you’ll be all set. Scouring vintage shops is perhaps the best way to crack this trend, because let’s face it, who has several thousand pounds to blow on a new designer fur? Save yourself the longing and pick up a vintage option for a fraction of the cost.

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Valentino Have you ever wondered if there’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking? Well Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli have, and what’s more, they brought along the most famous male models in the world to ask. Yes, closing the Valentino show were none other than Derek Zoolander and his arch rival Hansel having one of their famous “walk-offs.” Social media exploded, and as ways to advertise their new film go, this was pretty effective. Ben Stiller even got pal Anna Wintour involved to make a backstage video of them still in character. It was a great reminder that fashion can take itself too seriously sometimes. It should be about fun and that’s what Valentino gave us. Aside from the headline news, the clothes were more of what Valentino does brilliantly pretty schoolgirl dresses, romantic floaty fabrics and classic printed evening gowns. It was easily one of the highlights of Paris Fashion Week and gave us a great sense that fashion is lightening up. Have you practised your blue steel yet?

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e one hell of a season. It was full oony Tunes. If it wasn’t Balmain’s tuff it was Zoolander closing the mattering of some of the best and hows of the season.

Alexander McQueen

his way

It was the word “Mama” in sweeping handwriting across the back wall of the runway that set the tone for this collection. To begin the show, the curtain rose to reveal a group of mothers cradling their babies or holding the hands of their toddlers as the models walked out. It was a collection full of the house signatures - the black knee-length dress, the ﬂowers and the gold details - but with a softer palette of blush pinks and peaches interspersed with black, red and white. It was a show that got everyone reaching for the phone to ring home. After all, everyone loves their mum.

The thigh’s the limit: Boots this season are deﬁnitely made for walking. By far and away the most popular style was the ever-sexy over-the-knee heeled boot, as seen at Burberry Prosum, AllSaints and Alexander McQueen. Heel heights varied from stillettos to the cubic cutout kitten heels at Versace, so ﬁnding the right height for you will be easy. For the best look, pair them with a dangerously high thigh-slit to strike that perfect balance between sexy and sensible.

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It’s getting Haute in here Couture is an opulent world where money is no object. Designers show off the best of their skills, the mega-rich come to shop for their new wardrobes and a £100,000 price-tag for a dress is reasonable Atelier Versace

Chanel

Christian Dior

Jean Paul Gaultier

The anatomy of a Couture dress

Couture is another level of fashion design, with prices that are beyond belief. Basic Couture blouses start at over £10,000 and for the more elaborate gowns you can pay in excess of £100,000. But just why is Couture so incredibly expensive? What goes into making a dress that is more expensive than a supercar? Well:

Hundreds of metres of the finest materials from across the world Supermodels? Check. Smokey eyes? Check. Rampant sex appeal? Check. It could only have been Versace that could make such smouldering glamour relevant for today. Donatella enlisted the modelling elite - Amber Valetta, Eva Herzigova, Jourdan Dunn and Karlie Kloss - to prowl the runway in some seriously sexy clothes. Everything had caligraphy cutouts, slices of exposed flesh and miles and miles of leg on show. Karlie’s white flared jumpsuit nodded to the continuing 70s trend for this year, but with the sex factor turned up to 11. Only Versace can get away with this stuff and make it both classy and desireable.

Karl Lagerfeld is the undisputed King of creating a spectacle. He’s taken his audience to an enchanted forest, a feminist protest march and even a supermarket complete with Chanel branded bath mats and power tools. For his latest Couture show, he presented us with a luscious garden, which of course had to include giant mechanical flowers. It fitted perfectly with the natural, floral theme of many of the shows during the week, but the sheer size of the production was incredible. With over 70 looks, each of which would have taken at least 100 hours to make, this show was truly jaw-dropping.

Take a closer look: Dior took the crown for the most innovative details this season. To update the classic sleek ponytail, they hung hair extensions from branded hoops in the models’ own hair, which added to the modern architectural theme of the show. The shoes too, with their scaﬀolding heels, mirrored the scaffolding of the show space and oﬀered a striking alternative to cumbersome chunky heels.

Raf Simons has carved out a new image for Dior since his appointment in 2012; not an easy task for such a legendary house. Simons’ vision of eclectic modernity has breathed new life into Dior and this collection continued his aesthetic. Lacquered thigh-high boots in bold colours and with scaffolding heels stole the show, but the new takes on A-line shapes and cropped tops were also innovative. Raf was even confident enough to leave out classic Dior signatures, like the bar jacket, showing just how comfortable he is in his position. Dior has changed a lot since the Galliano days, but change is not always bad. For those of you who love literature, good news! You can now wear it... provided you’re one of the handful of clients able to order one of Dolce & Gabbana’s Alta Moda dresses featuring silk scarves printed with a 1950 programme for the ballet Romeo e Giulietta. A much classier alternative to Urban Outfitters’ printed t-shirts.

The fashion world mourned the loss of JPG on the Ready-To-Wear circuit last year, but seeing him still on the Couture one reminded us of what he does best. His sparkle and fun came across in spades, with denim ball gowns, Lindsay Wixon dressed as the most chic bee-keeper ever, a bride still wearing her rollers and Naomi Campbell dressed as a bouquet of ﬂowers. What more could you want? JPG took a step back from Ready-ToWear in order to focus on his Couture, and this collection proved that the man knows what he does best and is sticking to it. Fashion needs fun, and we need JPG to provide it.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of hours work by the most skilled seamstresses in the world.

Ideal for when you can’t be bothered to do your make-up in the morning, John Galliano debuted his take on Maison Margiela’s iconic masks during his ﬁrst show since being named the brand’s Creative Director. It’s either exquisite craftsmanship from a creative genius or an absolutely terrifying child’s drawing. You decide.

An unparalleled level of detail, with every single sequin, feather and appliqué being sewn on by hand. Oh-so-elegant but rubbish for sneaking booze into nightclubs. Giorgio Armani Prive’s transparent clutches are easily the best bags of the season.

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Couture curiosity What is it, who buys it and what’s the point of it? IN a world with reports of devastating poverty, rising unemployment, recessions and beneﬁt fraud every night on the news, it can be hard to comprehend the fact that out there, hidden away behind mansion doors and blacked-out car windows, are individuals who will happily spend hundreds of thousands of pounds, euros, dollars and rubles on clothes. You can buy clothes at Primark or at New Look for literally a hundred thousandth of the price, so what makes Couture so special? Who are these people that buy it? And perhaps most importantly, how can we justify the existence of such an indulgent industry in a world with so many people in abject poverty?

How can we justify the existence of such an indulgent industy? Couture is a funny industry. While in Ready-To-Wear, designers are seeking to maximise sales, and so make design choices based on cost and marketability, in Couture things are done very differently. The British Couturier Ralph and Russo reportedly sold just nine dresses last year, but each one cost over £200,000, so in total their turnover for the year was roughly £2 million. It seems almost alien to us when we consider that brands like Zara and Topshop produce in the tens of thousands. This is the first reason why Couture is so incredibly expensive, and it’s because of simple economics. When a company like Topshop produces several thousand of one particular garment, they only need to make, for example, £10 profit on each one sold to end up making tens of thousands of pounds profit. This means that they can afford to price the garment lower, hence highstreet clothes tend to be cheaper. Topshop have also invested millions in machinery to make their clothes. Because of this, making these garments tends to require a low skill level, so the staff who are employed to

make the garments are paid less and they can make the garments much faster than couturiers, so the total costs for employing people to make their clothes are much lower. Couple that with the fact that high-street brands often use cheaper materials like nylon, polyester and cotton, and Topshop can produce a dress for, let’s say, £15 and can then sell it at £50 for a large proﬁt.

We don’t need Ferraris in the world, nor �ine jewellery, nor Couture, but sometimes people don’t want practicality Couture is a little bit diﬀerent. The materials used are much more expensive, like silk and organza for example, the seamstresses are very highly skilled and so require a higher rate of pay and the amount of hours that go into hand-making each of these dresses can exceed 1,000, hence Couture costs so much more. So at least now we know just why houses like Ralph and Russo can charge hundreds of thousands of pounds for a dress, but it’s no good making a dress if there isn’t someone to buy it. Who are these people who spend this kind of money on Couture? Celebrities often have custom-made dresses

designed for awards ceremonies, but these aren’t necessarily Couture dresses. There are actually several regulations and rules that these dresses must adhere to in order to be classed as Couture: it has to have been made in Paris, it has to have been made for a private client with several fittings, and must have been made by a team of at least 15 highly skilled seamstresses. So Couture clients are predominantly private individuals, with huge amounts of cash to burn. Traditionally, Couture customers have tended to be older white women, often wives of powerful politicians or business moguls, who would buy couture pieces for private parties and events and valued the exclusivity that these unique pieces afforded them. After all, who wants to be seen wearing the same dress as the nouveau riche? In recent years, however, it seems that the Couture market has been changing. Since the devastating effects of the 2008 recession on the luxury market, it was assumed that the Couture industry would be in demise with fewer people able to fork out the massive figures required by fashion houses, but this was not the case. A new breed of Couture customers emerged; instead of the wives of powerful businessmen, it became their daughters. Hailing from Saudi Arabi, The United Arab Emirates, Russia, Qatar and India, these younger, more fashion conscious clients started appearing at Couture shows looking for

the very best clothes that money could buy. Two couture clients of Stéphane Rolland, Anar Hitzhanova and her daughter Akbota Tatisheva, from Kazakhstan summed up the importance of Couture in an interview in The Telegraph when they said: “I buy couture because I like to feel special... If I’m going to a wedding, I don’t want to bump into someone wearing the same. In Kazakhstan... our husbands don’t have any say in what we buy. We feel these clothes are empowering.”

The clothes give these clients a sense of power and individuality The clothes give these clients a sense of power and individuality, and fashion designers know how to play to what their customers want. With the rising market in the Middle East, it was no surprise that the Atelier Versace SS14 show featured several dresses and jackets with silk hoods and covered arms. Chanel, also for SS14, appealed to their younger customer by being the ﬁrst house to show ‘Couture trainers,’ as opposed to high heels which was the norm for Couture. Clients, in the wake of the recession, spent several years looking for practicality and versatility in their purchases, hence the rise in the showings of daywear on the Couture circuit. It is only now, in

2015, that shows are starting to return to the rampant excess and grandeur that Couture is known for. At Elie Saab this season, for example, we saw dreamy ball gowns and fabulous evening wear that we have been missing from the past few years, and Rihanna made a hell of a statement when she appeared at the 2015 Grammy Awards wearing a massive pink Giambattista Valli Couture gown (the old breed of Couture clients would be clutching their pearls in horror). Yes, this decadence seems incredibly pointless and a poor use of money when you remember that the money that is spent on these dresses could be put towards saving lives in war- torn countries and ﬁghting diseases, but then the same is true for any luxury market. We don’t need Ferrari’s in the world, nor ﬁne jewellery, nor Couture, but sometimes people don’t want practicality. Sometimes people need a fantasy, a dream with which to escape reality, and watching Couture shows and seeing these beautiful creations swish up and down the catwalk can be the perfect distraction from the world.

You can think what you like about it, but you can’t say that Couture is irrelevant But more than being a distraction, Couture is a chance for the most skilled artisans in the world to show oﬀ their immense talent, talent that they have spent decades honing, and they deserve to be celebrated for it. The world needs Couture in the same way that we need the Oscars - it may not be directly saving lives, but it is celebrating talent and actually, the money that is generated is often put towards charitable donations - and so you can think what you like about it, but what you can’t say is that Couture is irrelevant.

16 MARCH 2015 |

THE FASHION ISSUE

Fendi

EXEPOSÉ

This season, rethink the way you apply your eyeliner. Eyes are getting graphic, and are the key to defining your face for AW16. Experiment with different ways to apply it - see Fendi’s feathered blotting to create the illusion of fuller lashes when your eye is open - and the classic cat-eye shape got a make-over at Atelier Versace. Try the graphic arch and faded smudge created backstage for a striking combination of the smokey eye and sharp eyeliner. If you’re feeling more adventurous, take inspiration from Chanel and define your brows and fade your eyeshadow down from them for a more mystical, fairytale-esque version of the smokey eye. If total black is a bit intimidating, blend in some deep purple to enhance the look. Less sensual, more supernatural.

Atelier Versace

Maybelline Master Graphic Eyeliner £5.99 L’Oreal Paris Volume Million Lashes £10.99 Mac Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow: Plumluxe £30

Nude Natural Mineral Eyeliner £9.53

Chanel

Beauty and the Beast Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray £21.50

Givenchy

Rick Owens

Marques’Almeida

Hallelujah! The days of poker straight, perfectly coiﬀed hair are over. Dominating catwalks were dishevelled, just-woken-up looks that mean you can ditch your straighteners, repair oils and split end compacts. Rejoice and embrace the draggedthrough-a-hedge style to save you time in the mornings. All you need is a good sea salt spray, a hairdryer and some dry shampoo to create the range of looks we saw on the catwalks.

The days of natural beauty are numbered. Last season it was everywhere but let’s face it, natural beauty is nice for a bit but the fashion world is ready to move on and embrace a bit of craziness once again. Cue Rick Owens and Givenchy who were on hand to remind us that fashion can be a force that pushes boundaries. Rick covered his models’ faces in what looks like gold foil, referencing the Mayan sun-godesses that inﬂuenced his collection. Givenchy, on the other hand, looked to more recent inﬂuences to create the elaborate facial jewellery that adorned his models. Victorian England mixed with Mexican gangs sounds like an unlikely combination, but it resulted in a strikingly powerful collection.

Maison Margiela

Vivienne Westwood

Haider Ackermann

Batiste Dry Shampoo £2.99

For AW16 extreme beauty ruled the runways. Ditch the nude lip balm and hair straighteners and channel your wild side this season

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Newsreel

biopic Chinese pollution film Danny banned Boyle’sby latest government project on the life of the Apple founder has been dealt a bIIlow A filmDithat Caprio revealed announces the fullhis extent resigof China’s pollution problem hashe nation from the role. The actor says by Chinese gov-inisbeen takingcensored a period away from acting ernment authorities. The movie, called the Dome, was out didefi nitely.Under Di Caprio drops rected by journalist Chai Jing, and received praise from governofhad Jobs biopic ment Boyle’s officialslatest whoproject explained how Danny on the life powerfounder environmental offic- a oflittle the Apple has been dealt ers had to enforce anti his pollution blow Di Caprio announces resignalaws. Though theThe film is available tion from the role. actor says he is on YouTube, is banned taking a periodwhich away from actingininChina, defi nitely.the film was removed from video sharing sites Youku and Tencent, reportedly out of the government’s fear of the huge popularity of the movie.

Live action Beauty and the Beast Emma Watson and Dan Stevens have been confirmed to play the title pair in a live action reboot of the classic Disney animation. Stevens, who rose to fame in the hit ITV show Downton Abbey joins a mainly British cast which also includes Welshman Luke Evans who will likely play the film’s villain, Gaston. Dreamgirls director Bill Condon is confirmed to lead the project, which follows on from the Kenneth Brannagh adaptation of Cinderella, but it doesn’t have a release date as of yet.

Chappie tops US box office Neil Blomkamp’s latest sci-fi thriller this week topped the US box office, making $13.3 million in what was a disappointing opening weekend. The film, starring Sigourney Weaver and Dev Patel, did significantly worse than Blomkamp’s past two directorial outings Elysium and the hugely successful District 9. Meanwhile, Vince Vaugn comedy Unfinished Business opened poorly, being critically panned and only making $4.8 million in its debut weekend. It was also revealed that controversial war film American Sniper was the highest grossing film of 2014, making over $500 million worldwide.

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16 MARCH 2015 |

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A web of remakes

Di Caprio drops out of Jobs

MUSIC 16-20

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Victoria Bos wonders whether remakes have hung around for too long

WITH another reboot of the Spider Man �ilm series looking to be on the cards, this time in conjunction with Marvel, you’d be forgiven for having the strangest sense of déjà vu. After all, this is the third time the story of Peter Parker is being dragged out and you have to ask: why? Rebooting TV and movie franchises now appears to be something of a tradition among executives.

Rebooting TV and movie franchises appears to be something of a tradition among executives Whether it is beloved childhood classics, hugely successful blockbusters or those little known stories that slipped under the radar the �irst time, all seem to be being hauled back into the public view in some re-imagined form; and some of the results are truly horri�ic. Now, some reboots can work and can really add to the foundations set down by the original. As an example

of this I point you in the direction of the 2012 movie Total Recall, a reboot of the 1990 cult classic of the same name. Though not incredible, the more believable setting of the colony on Australia rather than Mars and the grittier imagery made this an interesting interpretation. In regards to TV the wonderful 2005 reboot of Doctor Who, following the series cancellation in 1989, is a great example of how it can work, intertwining new elements with the original material, and is still going strong. However, these serve to be more the exceptions than the rule.

separate attempts at rebooting the classic 1970s comedy series Fawlty Towers. They may lose the actor or actress that managed to hold the

original together as was seen with the 2011 remake of the beloved 1981 �ilm Arthur, swapping the engaging Dudley Moore for the �lat, garish and poor acting style of Russell Brand. Finally, they may just make you cringe as they ruin everything you held dear about the original, a feel-

They may make you cringe as they ruin everything you held dear about the original

Often reboots are sacreligious shadows of the original’s glory

ing I’m sure most people experienced when they saw CGI Bob the Builder in October last year. However, with more on the horizon, it appears reboots are here to stay, but perhaps in the future executives should stick to the age old principle; if it’s not broken, don’t �ix it.

Often reboots are failures - sacrilegious shadows of the original’s glory, failing to introduce any elements to compel an audience to watch. They may remove the spark that made it special, as was the case with the �ive

Films to see before you graduate: El Mariachi

Joshua Rotchelle goes loco for Robert Rodriguez’s ultra-cool independent action �ilm

EL MARIACHI is one of those �ilms that critics and �ilm a�icionados love, but nobody else has ever heard of. This in itself is a (slightly dubious) accolade: you can name-drop it at parties and wax lyrical about how much better it is than mainstream cinema, and save everyone else the time and trouble of talking to you by indicating straight away that you are a pretentious asshat.

El Mariachi is one of those �ilms that critics and �ilm a�icionados love, but nobody else has heard of However, this particular �ilm is so revered amongst some that it doesn’t even need this illustrious distinction. In the USA, important people in suits

have even decided that it is to be professionally preserved for all time, on account of being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically signi�icant.” Hell of a pedigree. But pushing all of these big words aside, there is a seriously solid �ilm here. The tale of the eponymous hero is entirely told en Español, which might put off some, but it’s still fantastic stuff, with a strong (if simple) central plot, some fair action scenes and a solid dose of that ‘90s �ilm charm. However, what really makes this �ilm stand out is the circumstances in which it was �ilmed. Director Robert Rodriguez whizzed out the whole thing with a mere $7,000 dollar budget, which in the �ilm world is about the price equivalent of a Mars bar and a can of Coke. With this in mind, it’s remarkable the �ilm even exists at all. But it does, and it manages to reach pretty heady

heights of action with less special effects technology than my toaster.

It’s remarkable the �ilm even exists at all So, check out a subtitled version.

It’s worth it just to see how much someone with serious talent can achieve on such a tiny budget, and worth keeping in mind when you get your next student-style bank statement, cris-crossed with negative numbers printed in red.

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Stuck in the mid-term with you Ellie Crisp gives you the cure for those mid-term blues and the fast approaching deadlines WE need to talk about the mid-term crisis. It is the illness that many students suffer from without even realising. Many put off searching for a cure until it is too late, and before you know it, you’re rocking yourself in a corner of downstairs Timepiece. I think I have found the perfect cure for a student (as in, not moving much, and an excuse to order Domino’s): a night in with some motivational movies. Sit back and enjoy the �ilms - but not too much, you’ve got an essay to write, remember.

had a moment of “homelessness panic” with the daunting housing fairs. Chris Gardner’s tenacious plight is undoubtedly a tear-jerker and a motivational tool for the job seekers of the world. And two words: Will Smith.

4) Slumdog Millionaire The �ilm follows Jamal Malik, an orphan whose life is changed with Mumbai’s answer to Who Wants To be a Millionaire? Chris

5) The Pursuit of Happyness The biopic of a salesman’s struggle. Although I am not an advocate for investing your life savings into bone-density scanners (don’t be motivated to sacri�ice your whole student loan), I’m sure at some point we

Tarrant’s absence is replaced with Jamal’s quest to prove his intelligent innocence, question by question. Maybe avoid handing in an application for The Chase, but instead utilize Jamal’s journey to inspire your impending assignment.

3) Selma Although a newbie to the cinemas, the �ilm chronicles the events preceding and subsequent to the epic march from Selma to Montgomery back in 1965. Peaceful protest in the face of violent opposition eventually secures a signi�icant victory for the Civil Rights Movement: equal voting rights. Selma triggers feelings of anger and sadness, but most importantly it is inspirational and serves as a timeless reminder of what perseverance can achieve. If a speech by Martin Luther King can’t motivate you, then I don’t know what will.

young Trevor McKinney attempting to change the world through simple good deeds. The quest for a revolution through the effective pyramid system to “pay it forward” ends up bringing together the distant and scarred Mr Simonet and Trevor’s vulnerable, alcoholic mother. Although your own assignment might not hold the pursuit to change the world, it is not a bad thing to strive for. And if you’re struggling with what to get your mum for Mother’s Day, what could be better than a date with Kevin Spacey?

1) The Breakfast Club About to celebrate its 30th anniversary, the �ilm revolves around one Saturday in detention. Starring �ive teenagers, each representing different

high school cliques, their time together reveals the hidden character traits they all share, and ultimately breaks down their stereotypes. Brian’s essay to Principal Vernon is set to diminish any doubts about your upcoming assignment, and if you’re feeling really inspired, you could even replicate Bender’s triumphant march across the football �ield on our own campus.

The silent comedy of the lambs 2) Pay It Forward A school assignment leads to

Jack Smith flocks to the cinema to review the wooly-loaded animated movie that is just shear brilliance Shaun the Sheep Cast: Justin Fletcher, John Sparkes Director: Richard Goleszowski, Mark Burton 2015, 85 mins

I CAN’T remember the last time I saw a U-rated movie at the cinema, but I was more than pleasantly surprised by the new feature �ilm by Aardman Animations. For those who aren’t up to date with the CBBC TV show that began back in 2007, Shaun is the intelligent leader of a �lock of sheep living in Mossy Bottom Farm, along with the farmer, his dog Bitzer, and various other animals. While there is sound throughout, there is no dialogue at all baa bar the indecipherable mumblings and bleating of its characters, yet any ap-

prehension about this should be immediately forgotten. The plot premise is that Shaun devises a plan to have a day off from his banal daily routine, until a surreal series of events leads to the animals accidentally sending the oblivious farmer into “the big city” and consequently having to go and retrieve him. In fact, the whole �ilm can be described as a surreal series of events, each slightly more than the last, resulting in the oddest of �inales. Yet Shaun the Sheep’s infectious charm made it one of the most entertaining and enjoyable movies I have seen in a while.

So much love went into making it One of my favourite aspects of

this �ilm was the fact that so much love went into making it, and it really showed. The attention to detail is incredible - particularly in the stopmotion animation, the pinnacle of which is the still visible thumb prints on character models. Shaun the Sheep is not just aimed at kids - I found myself laughing at many references that I was not expecting at all. I picked up on moments from Taxi Driver, Breaking Bad, Monty Python’s The Holy Grail and appropriately The Silence of the Lambs among others, and the style of comedy often harks back to classic silent slapstick movies. Shaun the Sheep is a delightfully simple and compact �ilm that I would recommend to everyone who feels like a light, heart-warming comedy.

What’s hot and what’s not in this week’s news? Paloma Faith - apparently poor old Paloma isn’t ‘cool’ enough to sing the next Bond theme. The great philosopher George Michael once said: “You’ve gotta have faith.” I guess they didn’t.

Beast

Chappie - Neil Blomkamp won’t be a happy Chappie after the �ilm took a mere (cough) $13.3 million in its �irst weekend. The �ilm depicts a police robot in the future who starts thinking for himself and writing lyric poetry.

Toy Story 4 - new details released by Pixar suggest that the next installment in the franchise could be a rom-com. We already loved the bromance between Buzz and Woody. And, anyway, can toys even make out? We’re unsure.

Leonardo Di Caprio - the star is in talks to play Billy Milligan in The Crowded Room; the criminal whose defense argued that two of his 24 personalities committed his crimes. If he can’t win an Oscar for this, well, he never will.

Emma Watson - the star recently took to Facebook on International Women’s Day to advocate for women’s rights. Plus she’s been cast as Beauty in the upcoming Disney live-action �ilm - a good choice. Beauty

BOOKS

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MUSIC 16-20

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Amy Hopkins chats to the author of historical Auschwitz �iction about her inspirations

KRISTY CAMBRON is an Indiana based author. Her two historical novels, The Butter�ly and the Violin and A Sparrow in Terezin make up the Hidden Masterpiece series, which follows Manhattan art dealers and Auschwitz prisoners across different decades. Amy Hopkins asked her about her writing process. What was your inspiration for the Hidden Masterpiece series? I was a young art student in undergraduate school in early 2004. I remember the distinct moment when our art history professor presented a topic I’d never heard of – the art of the Holocaust – and I was captured from that moment on. I devoured books on the subject ( e s p e c i a l ly Elie Wiesel’s Night, which I still read every year). I remember hearing that whisper in my soul, that this topic was special. And though it’s a very weighty subject, I wanted to give a voice to these known artists, to help others hear their story. So I stored the idea away hoping that someday I’d know what to do with it.

How much research do you do before starting a novel based in historical fact? Much of the research for both books in the Hidden Masterpiece series was completed more than a decade ago, for my undergraduate studies in Art History and Research Writing. The concepts of hope through horri�ic circumstances and the atrocities of the Holocaust never really left my mind. I spent much time pouring over

ing video tours of the concentration camps on YouTube. I even spent time reviewing bombing records, city street maps and weather patterns from the early 1940s, so the London Blitz scenes in A Sparrow in Terezin would be authentic.

The concept of hope through the atrocities of the Holoucaust never left my mind It’s the small details – the ones you can sometimes pick up in an interview or history book – that work to really breathe life, and immerse the reader into a bygone era.

t h e �iner details of this era – researching maps of Auschwitz-Birkenau, reading Holocaust survivors’ accounts, and view-

Chloe Forsyth Mind of Winter Laura Kasischke

IT has taken me 24 hours and a lot of head scratching to decide what to think of the abrupt ending to Mind of Winter. When I �irst put it down I felt cheated, bereft of explanations I’d spent the whole book waiting for. But, after mulling it over, I actually think I might have fallen in love with Kasischke’s award-winning novel after all. Holly Judge and her adopt-

Whilst you were writing how did you keep your focus? I’ve found that each author seems to have a method for his or her own madness for writing. I’m no different. I’m not a plotter; I prefer to write from a place of following where the story leads me. Because of that, I can get hit with a new idea in my head at the most inopportune times and have to grab my cell phone to type the scene… In the grocery store, while waiting in the doctor’s of�ice, in an elevator. Storytelling for me is really less about focus than it is about feeling the characters’ story ed teenage daughter Tatiana are snowed in their house on Christmas Day. With her husband and family stranded at the airport, Holly is left alone to deal with her daughter’s increasingly erratic behaviour, and the nagging thought that “something had followed them home from Russia” after the adoption all those years ago. As Holly struggles to �igure out the truth behind the adoption and the string of accidents and bad luck that has befallen them since, she becomes increasingly unsure of who and what she can trust.

whenever it comes. In fact, The Butter�ly and the Violin was written almost exclusively on my iPhone. Since then, I �ind that typing chapters on my phone and inserting them into my manuscript is my place of comfort for creating a story. I now write on my phone most of the time.

What advice do you have for aspiring authors? You have to �ind the place of passion for a character’s story (and understand the craft of writing) before you can hope to pursue publication. The story has to be there �irst, and the motivation for your readers with it. My biggest pieces of advice? Write every single day, pray for your readers, and DO NOT give up. If writing is in your heart, no amount of rejections should hold you back. Continue to learn. To grow in the craft. To fall in love with story. Refuse to see a publishing house’s rejection as a ‘No,’ and instead, see it as a ‘Not yet’ or ‘Not here.’ If you’re in love with writing, then you’ll be able to weather the rejections, and wait for your book to make it to store shelves one day.

The psychological thriller takes a while to fall into its genre, walking the line between thriller and horror cliché at times.

at the end was near perfect, I felt it came too swiftly. There wasn’t enough time to fully grasp what was happening. The �inal realisation after 200 pages of uncertainties and clues comes in the very last paragraph of the book, leaving a lot of unanswered questions. However, this sudden shock �its perfectly with the rest of the novel, even if it left me dissatis�ied. So if you are a thriller fan I de�initely recommend giving it a chance when Mind of Winter comes out later this year.

Do you listen to music whilst you write? The short answer is – YES. All the time. I listen to movie soundtracks when I write. My favourites are: Pride and Prejudice, Downton Abbey, Jane Eyre, Cinderella Man, and Schindler’s List. In addition, I must have music that I �ind lyrical and inspiring when I’m writing some particularly emotional scenes. Violinists Hilary Hahn and Julia Fischer are my goto musicians for this. A new �ind is Lindsey Stirling. I plan to listen to her while writing my next novel. I also prefer white noise if I’m really deep into editing. (That’s where focus is essential). I love the Rainy Mood ( t h u n d e r s to r m sounds) and Cof�itivity (noisy coffee shop sounds) Apps on my iPhone. They’ve managed to see me through two books so far.

The �inal twist at the end was near perfect However, once the pace of the novel picks up you can suspend your disbelief until the snow building up over the windows adds to the uneasy effect of the writing, rather than detracting from it. While the �inal twist

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Equal opportunities literature

Joshua Rotchelle considers the representation of marginalised groups in literature

AROUND the world, sections of society which were previously marginalised are now on the up and up. Everywhere there are more and more equality movements, and the world of books is no exception. I think we can all agree, this is a ‘good thing.’

But the thing is, whoever controls books, controls minds However, with this has come a strong movement towards condemning books which don’t do as much for the equality movement. Does that novel portray a stereotypical homosexual man? Into the bin it goes. How about that text with its dubious portrayal of female gender roles? To the furnace. Some might argue this is a ‘good

thing’ too, and you can see their point. After all, how can we form a society of equality if the books our society reads centre around inequality? Surely we should rid ourselves of such poor examples, and only pen that which is truly fair on everyone. But now for the other side of the coin, which is a wee bit spooky: this line of thinking is the same one taken by numerous other less-than-bene�icial movements in the past. From the Reich to the Romans, book censorship is not new, and not good either. That said, just because one group used something doesn’t mean that when any group uses it, it’s terrible. But the thing is, whoever controls books, controls minds. Frankly, I’m not comfortable with any one movement having that much power over society. It’s a recipe for ruin straight from the Orwellian cookbook, and one of the exceptions to the above

rule: no matter what group is using it, it’s still bad news. But what about all those poor folks across the gender, race and sexuality spectrum who are offended by the stuff? Surely it can’t be okay to let people write misogynistic/racist/what-have-you books if so many people are deeply upset by it? Gee, I guess I missed the part where everybody reverted back to being �ive-years-old. In case you’re just checking in, it’s true! Some children may, in fact, like to use the slippery snake toy, and you may �ind this toy annoying! But fear not: feast your eyes on the other side of the playpen, where layeth a cornucopia of other amusements, from Teletubbies to Tonka trucks! So if people can just choose to read whatever they want, and ignore what they don’t like (which they

can – you don’t see me reading Danielle Steel novels), why do they still whine? Well, we have one section of the toy mat known as Mainstream Literature, where all the cool kids hang out.

But what about all those poor folks across the gender, race and sexuality spectrum who are offended? And there’s the rub. Some people don’t like how the cool kids roll. Popularity is dictated by what the masses buy. Right now, it looks like they’re buying something some folks don’t think is the key to the equality. So what to do? Well I know this one may be a

shocker, so hold on to your Tumblr blogs, but maybe you could... be proactive? How to go about this is one step too far into the argument for my give-a-shit-o-meter, but perhaps you could write your own equalrepresentation books worth reading? And then share them with your fellow equal-representation writers? Maybe get a movement of equal-representation books going? Remember, we live in the digital age. These days some dress can captivate half the western world, and a chubby Korean man can have millions dancing like they’re riding horses. Might wanna capitalise on that. But either way, you can’t just sit and throw all your toys out of the pram until everybody plays your game and nobody else’s: the best that’ll get you is a mocking Exeposé article and a tortured metaphor.

Don’t be a stranger to non-ﬁction

There are lots of non-fiction books worth reading, Gareth Roberts gives his top five

In Cold Blood - Truman Capote The original true crime story, In Cold Blood is a non-fiction book that deals with the cause and aftermath of a bungled robbery that led to the death of a farmer and his entire family. Chilling in its detail and its exploration of the killer’s psychology, it is the first and possibly greatest work of its genre. It has been suggested that Capote exaggerates and distorts details, but as a work of literature, it is brilliant.

Mythologies - Roland Barthes Mythologies is a highly original and brilliant analysis of how adverts function and why we associate certain objects with certain properties. Although often difficult to understand and written in a highly epigrammatic style, it is more than worth the time to read. It is, simply, a brilliant exploration of how the human mind works, and how popular culture forms associations.

33 Revolutions Per Minute: A History of the Protest Song - Dorian Lynsky An idiosyncratic account of the circumstances under which protest songs have been written. A highly entertaining read, Lynsky’s writing takes into account entire musical and political movements. Additionally, it provides a broad history of 20th and 21st Century music and politics and is a must read for any aspiring historians.

Potemkin: Catherine the Great’s Imperial Partner - Simon Sebag Montefiore This book proves to be a fascinating biography of Grigory Potemkin - the most powerful man in the Russia of Catherine the Great. Montefiore captures fully the life of a man who, in many ways, defined an era. It is particularly worth reading given how obscure Potemkin actually is - who doesn’t love having obscure facts to whip out at parties?

Slouching Towards Bethlehem Joan Didion A collection of essays written for various magazines in the late 1960s, Didion’s book examines Californian culture and the milieu of the period in a minimalistic and evocative fashion. She patiently dismantles many of the views and opinions of the era, resulting in a book that captures the mood of the time better than any novel ever could.

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Don’t judge a cover by its book EXEPOSÉ

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In honour of the Books and Arts merger, Ciaran Willis, Screen Editor, looks at the art of book covers CALL me old-fashioned but I’m one of those people who likes owning actual books rather than a portable-wordscreen. I like their feel. And their thumb-marked, tea-stained history. The way they line my bedroom wall like a literary barricade, like intellectual insulation. I can remember pretty much all the covers as well – tied up with the historic moment of reading them and now hanging on my shelf like old pals. More than that, though, covers can be beautiful and inventive art which express something essential about the book itself. It’s kind of strange the way covers can etch themselves into your memory. Personally, I can envision all the old favourites. A Clockwork Orange with its striking bright colours and its cog-eyed droog, The Curious Incident of The Dog in the Night-time with its vibrant blue background, its off-beat, childish lettering and whimsical cartoon of a dog impaled on a garden fork. These recollections seem to mean something. It feels like the cover can make a difference, both in whether we decide to buy a book and in our experience of it. On a simple level, if you’re on campus or at the bus-stop or the local bakers, you want the girls

to be looking at your cool read. Like Haruki Murakami’s South of the Border – which is basically a vinyl record in a book – that will have the wellread women checking you out like, well, a library book.

amount of time interviewing staff and digging through the archives at Bloomsbury to discover more detailed information on the publishing history of her books. It will be the first source to be consulted by dealers, collectors, scholars, critics and researchers. Fans will be able to read letters between Rowling and her editor, discover the alternative suggestions for the titles of the books and learn how the manuscript of The Order of the Phoenix was delivered in a London pub, in a Sainsbury’s bag. It goes without saying that this book is essential for any Potter fan, but it could also be considered a useful source for writers – Errington unearths secrets surrounding Rowling’s writing process and the significant edits her earlier books had to undergo. It’s a useful insight into the creative process. “This could act as a map

for the future… you can see how the Harry Potter series just took off,” said Errington. So prepare to enter the chamber, and discover the secrets it has to reveal.

Book covers are iconic art in their own right With books, looks can matter. I can recall banishing a couple of particularly ugly paper-backs into the (paper) back-waters of my shelf: into the literary underworld with Dante and co. There was a particularly scatological cover by Ralph Steadman – cartoonist of Hunter S. Thompson’s iconic Fear and Loathing – which I couldn’t keep in polite company. And I remember an awful Chuck Palahniuk cover, a horrible garish green, which was an eye-sore on the landscape of my bedroom, and thus had to be hidden (I may add that these were both bought online). Though people often say that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover we often do, and to an extent, should. Because, at best, cover art can evocatively and beautifully communicate a book’s essence: its style, its genre; its

Books news: J.K. Rowling release IT’S not quite a new Harry Potter book, but it’s the closest you’re going to get to one. Bloomsbury Academic Philip Errington has spent the past five years researching and collating the massive, 544-page JK Rowling: A Bibliography 1997-2013. The book provides the complete bibliographic information of every edition of Rowling’s books, hopefully enabling fans to discover if they own a rare edition, with the aim to record fact and dispel the multitude of rumours that surround the publication of the Harry Potter series. The book is the first of its kind, and is fully supported by J.K. Rowling. “I am in awe of the level of detail and amount of time Philip Errington has dedicated to this slavishly thorough and somewhat mind-boggling bibliography” she said. Phillip spent a significant

J.K. Rowling: A Bibliography is available now from Bloomsbury, £75 Natalie Clark, Books Editor

emotional tone. Covers like the original The Great Gatsby – with its deep, romantic blue, dreamy, cat-like eyes and twinkle of fairground lights – can say something meaningful whilst also becoming culturally iconic. Then they can be sad or playful. The cover of Merritt Tierce’s recent Love Me Back designed by Emily Mahon, illustrates the title as a neon sign, unlit and bare, and connected thinly to some black wires. It’s stark and sad. Then there’s the cover of Avery Monsen’s All My Friends Are Dead, which has a forlorn cartoon dinosaur looking into the distance next to the title. Or there’s Lily King’s Euphoria, with its slapdash texture, its dainty scroll of a title and its ecstatic colour palette. See, book covers can poignantly and simply portray complex ideas. They hold that intriguing position between art and marketing, and because book-publishers know, of course, that we do often judge books by their covers, they produce the intellectual eye-candy to attract �ickle bookworms like you and me. But this doesn’t necessarily stop them from being beautiful or smart or witty or sad. From being iconic art in their own right. And, well, you just don’t get that with a Kindle.

Ellie Wood The Red House Mark Haddon

ESSAY deadlines are looming again, so I was questioning life choices when I picked this off my bookshelf last week. But then again, procrastination by reading is the best kind of procrastination. The story of two estranged adult siblings whose families are brought together following the death of their mother, The Red House (third book by the author of award-winning The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time) recounts the experiences of eight people holidaying in a remote house on the Welsh border. Haddon’s particular talent is his insight into the human mind and ability to convey it with such acute perception. It is a quality I have rarely encountered elsewhere. Though the frequent shifts in narrative perspective were occasionally confusing, I was able to empathise with all eight of his characters. Haddon is also refreshingly unafraid to examine the everyday. Some reviews critiqued the novel for its lengthy descriptions of the menial

and domestic (washing-up or teethbrushing for example) but it is precisely this that makes it such an accurate portrayal of life. The overlapping streams of consciousness mingle song lyrics, fragments of memory, moments of intense contemplation and blurs of brief observation in a patchwork of sensory detail. Don’t let ‘stream of consciousness’ put you off though – Haddon’s is constructed through short, sometimes one-word sentences, which produces an unlikely lyricism. He relishes the sounds and rhythms of words, their succulent push and tug. This novel refuses to succumb to idealisation; its descriptions are not caught up in grandeur unless the character relating them is, and its characters are fallible without being either hopeless or villainous. The scenario is not new - indeed, the concentrated domestic study has been done many times before. It is the style with which it is conveyed that gives The Red House its originality. This is one of the best books I have read for a long time.

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ARTS Art Mick Ricketts: So It Goes @ Phoenix 20 March - 2 May

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Sarah Gough & Bethany Stuart arts@exepose.com

A curious comeback

Arts Diary

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Sarah Gough, Arts Editor, interviews Lauren King, Exeter alumna and General Manager of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time’s national tour

Krater Comedy Club @ Barnfield 27 March

Dance Richard Alston Dance @ Northcott 24-25 March

Theatre The Orchard @ Phoenix 19-20 March Streaming @ BikeShed 17-28 March

“AWARD-WINNING.” And no, they didn’t even print the certi�icates themselves. Simon Stephen’s adaptation of Mark Haddon’s much-loved novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time scooped an astounding seven trophies at the 2013 Oliviers, including ‘Best New Play.’ What begins with a dog stabbed in the night with a garden fork becomes a brilliant insight into the world of Christopher, a mathematical genius who suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome. Coping with his condition is certainly integral to the show but it is his willingness to succeed that permeates more powerfully. We follow him, �irst in his search for a murderer and then, as he journeys to London to �ind his mother. Once he’s done that we watch him get an A* in Maths A Level. Casual.

It’s got the bells and whistles to make it exciting, but underneath all that, it’s got real heart Standby for Tape Back-Up @ BikeShed 23 March Nursing Lives @ Northcott 26-28 March

Still enjoying sell-out shows on the West End and Broadway, the team behind this spectacular production have chosen to take over the world. Or, at least, the South West. Having visited Theatre Royal Plymouth this month, and set to hit Bristol in August, Christopher’s adventures are only just beginning. I caught up with Lauren King, General Manager of Curious Incident’s UK Tour, to talk

unprecedented success and being as good as London. Lauren knows her M&D from her Lemmy. Graduating from Exeter with a Drama degree in 2007, she refers to the South West as her “spiritual home.” “If I could come back and do it all again I absolutely would,” she tells me sentimentally, as I cry into my half-written assignment and dream of involvement with a National Theatre triumph. But enough about me, Lauren’s career ascent is impressive. From starting out with educational company Impact in Learning, she acquired a host of organisational skills. When Stage Entertainment needed a production assistant, she snapped up the opportunity. With involvement in West End shows Sister Act, Hairspray and High School Musical, she moved to the National Theatre when they needed a team to get War Horse off the ground: “I co-ordinated the creative team and moved them around the world doing the show, it was so exciting and different.” Having helped organise Curious Incident’s West End presence, she took over as General Manager when the production began its nationwide tour in December. Lauren is the chief liaison point, responsible for the booking of the tour and negotiating with venues. “I have to know the business, the HR, the production. I manage each department to make sure the show happens.” We have Lauren to thank, basically. Having caught the show in Plymouth this month, it is a master-

piece, both in script and set. Lauren concurs that it is the emotional power behind Curious that drives its continual success. “Of course it has a great production team behind it: the same directors, producers and composer from War Horse. It’s an absolute event piece that appeals to everybody. It’s got the bells and whistles to make it exciting, but underneath all that, it’s got real heart.”

This tour is full of new material and in many ways is even better than the West End version It must be a challenge to transport such an “event piece” then, no? Will the success continue on tour? “Absolutely!” Lauren responds with con�idence. “The most exciting thing about Curious is that we’re so passionate about the piece. It’s so well received by audiences and we’re incredibly proud of it. This is as good as London.” The production remains scaled up, despite the fact that they can’t dig out each theatre’s �loor for a tube track, as they’ve done at the Gielgud. “Frantic Assembly, who’ve done a lot of work in Devon, have come up with an amazing movement sequence to re-imagine the tube scene. This tour is full of new material and in many ways is even better than the West End version.” Indeed, the production is characterised by its adept resilience. When

the Apollo Theatre’s roof collapsed during a performance in January of last year, nearly 80 were left injured. National Theatre bosses warned of huge losses as the show was forced to close and re-open at the Gielgud in June. Lauren was General Manager of the show during the period: “Our thoughts are still with the audience and the cast that had to go through that. But what’s lovely is that the show’s come out of it stronger. It’s in London, on Broadway and it’s on a UK tour. It was a bad time but we’re very much through it.” There you have it. Curious Incident survives and spreads. Not like a plague, its infectious quality is far more restorative. A mass marvelling at new adventures and possibilities. As the theatre is reinvigorated from Christopher’s perspective, two things become clear. One: this show is great. Two: yep, I still can’t do maths. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is touring the UK throughout 2015, playing Bristol Hippodrome from 4-8 August. Follow the QR code to read Exeposé Arts’ interview with Curious Incident’s Movement Director and Frantic Assembly co-founder, Scott Graham.

Magic moments: Arts 30

ARTS

ARTS as a stand-alone section is no more. Arts and Books are soon merging to create Arts & Lit - the first stop for all you cultural creatures. From Parisienne butt plugs, to interviewing Chris Martin (not the Coldplay guy), from Edinburgh Fringe frolics to despairing at dodgy Shakespeare, there hasn’t been a shortage of lols. Our brand spanking new editors, Jeremy Brown and Emily Kerr, join us to pick out a few of Exeposé Arts’ best moments from across the years.

NEWS 1-5

COMMENT FEATURES 10-13 6-9

LIFESTYLE 14-15

MUSIC 16-20

FASHION PULLOUT

SCREEN 22-23

BOOKS 24-27

ARTS 29-31

GAMES & TECH

33-35

16 MARCH 2015 |

SPORT 37-40

EXEPOSÉ

2012

Art and Culture explosion in Exeter Art History is introduced as a degree subject “This is a huge step forward...for the future of arts and culture in Exeter”

2011

Interview with James Corden “Lad onTour” “If the doors weren’t open I would just have to keep knocking”

Double double, toil and trouble Bethany Stuart, Arts Editor, reviews Filter Theatre’s psychological new production Macbeth Northcott Theatre 2 March 2015

GREETED only by a cluster of electronic equipment in the centre of the stage, Filter Theatre’s production of Macbeth was clearly going to be one of these stripped back, minimalist interpretations that, in my experience, only go one of two ways. I was optimistic however, Macbeth is undoubtedly one of Shakespeare’s most intensely psychological plays and so exploring this aspect experimentally was a welcome change. From the outset it was obvious this was going to be a playful performance, with necessary comedy to balance the inevitable tension and darkness to come. The three weird sisters were played by the four sound engineers, centre stage and handed their

Arts in the news

coffee orders “Double, double, toil and trouble” by a very alive King Duncan before setting to work toying with the Macbeths. The use of electronic music, strings and distorted recordings created a perfect soundtrack for the increasing paranoia and madness of the Macbeths. It was as if we were being taken into the very workings of their minds, seeing �irst hand the effects of the witches words and the way in which they plagued and manipulated.

[The play] successfully brought Shakespeare’s words onto a modern psychological platform The external effects were powerfully and masterfully portrayed by the Macbeths - Poppy Miller and Oliver Dimsdale - whose performances dom-

London artist invents GIF-iti, painted images looped into digital file

inated the play and kept us constantly focused, riding the waves of tensions until the next moment of comic relief. It must be said that the lack of an interval made for a challenging few hours of audience experience, but was a necessary decision to maintain the levels of intensity created by the cast. One technique which particularly stood out was the way in which the actors physically showed their states: Lady Macbeth drawing onto King Duncan’s chest an arrow pointed at his heart, marking him for death, and her husband washing his face in a bucket of blood that left him stained for the rest of the performance. This reminder of the relationship between the inner circle and the outer performance successfully brought Shakespeare’s words onto a modern psychological platform.

Van Gogh’s ‘Le Moulin d’Alphonse’ to be shown for first time in a century

Whilst I appreciated the way in which Filter Theatre brought psychology to the fore the plot undeniably suffere. For those unfamiliar with Macbeth I can imagine they were left lost from the �irst few scenes, not aided by the fact that more time was given to the aftermath rather than the build up to Duncan’s murder. I felt that some of the characters had not been properly introduced to us which impacted on my enjoyment of the brilliant later scenes as I played catch up with the details. If you are familiar with Shakespeare, however, I would de�initely recommend Filter Theatre as an engaging and original interpretation.

Dead Drops art project borrows from espionage, hides ‘data’ in USB drives

‘Bend it like Beckham’ the Musical opening in May 2015

across the pages EXEPOSÉ

www.exepose.com

2015

Interview with Sara Pascoe “Sara Pascoe vs Life“

“If someone shouts: ‘you’re shit,’ that is your gift. If you can make that into a funny thing then you can win everyone back”

Interview with Derren Brown “Say the magic word”

PowerPoints and party rings James Landymore reviews Bea Roberts’ reworking of Madame Bovary

A VIBRATOR, a duvet dance, and a surprisingly poignant story. I don’t know about you, but my usual Tuesday evening is never this eclectic. Bea Roberts, the writer and performer of In�inity Pool, treats her audience to a unique and engrossing production. In�luenced by Flaubert’s Madame Bovary, we join Emma Barnicott as she embarks on an online relationship, attempting to escape the mundane reality of her marriage. Roberts infuses Flaubert’s original narrative with refreshing modernity, adding new layers of meaning that encourage the audience to indulge in the protagonist’s story in a truly innovative manner. This is achieved without using a

Controversial shadow in Clinton portrait alludes to Lewinsky scandal

of conversation takes place as pure text - many characters have their own font, with tone indicated through Pow-

Dapper Laughs films sitcom pilot (*facepalm*)

Artistic Licence It’s the end of a very successful run for your one man/woman show. The Royal Box start the standing ovation, you’re bowing to rapturous applause. Then you decide, in your excitement, to do something IMPULSIVE, something CRAZY... WHAT DO YOU DO?

“Confess it was you who stole the cookies from the cookie jar...” SOPHIE HARRISON

“The problem with magic being an art is that it is inherently dishonest”

In�inity Pool BikeShed Theatre 3 March 2015

“Scale the royal box, pull Harry on stage and breakdance.” SARAH GOUGH

2013

single word of spoken dialogue: a rich variety of performance techniques and mixed media are instead employed. In theory, there are no characters on stage at any point during the play. Roberts deftly operates projectors, TVs, video players, answerphones and music, as well as interpreting the protagonist’s actions through occasional mime segments. The majority

ARTS

erPoint animations. Whilst this may sound pretty awful, seeing an irritating character presented solely through bouncy Comic Sans, multiple exclamation marks and suitably vom-inducing phrases (e.g “Team Bestie!!”) seems just right.

It is concluded that we are all idiots, but some hide it better than others Nevertheless, this does not distract from the play’s emotive qualities. Rather, I found myself appreciating the power of modern technology to convey what is said and (perhaps more importantly) what is unsaid. This is particularly noticeable when Emma messages her daughter in Australia. With Emma using undeniably cringey text language, her daughter’s uninterested yet perfectly spelt replies convey

Memphis and Beautiful lead Olivier Awards shortlist

the generational and communicative void between mother and daughter perfectly. Indeed, the theme of communication dominates this tight, one-hour production. Emma does not tell her husband she feels trapped in a lifeless marriage, nor does she tell her prospective lover that she is married. The climax of this unhappy situation is found in the protagonist’s self-destructive actions towards the end of the play - uncomfortable, yet accompanied by a profoundly positive message. Ultimately it is concluded that we are all idiots, but some hide it better than others. I thoroughly concur. This is an original, exciting and magnetic play that uses innovative techniques to create a story that is both entertaining and authentic. And if that’s not enough, did I mention they give the audience free Party Rings? Nom.

ISIS threatening art, smashing sculptures at the Mosul Museum

“Clap back. Keep clapping back, even when the clapping stops. Clap harder. Clap, clap, clap, Shia Labeouf style, until the security take me away.” CALLUM MCLEAN

“Kiss an eel.” LEWIS DAVIS NORMAN

“Shot some absinthe, roll around the floor in heaps of past issues of Exeposé Arts and sing ‘Someone Like You’ whilst weeping uncontrollably. Oh wait, no, that’s my plans for tomorrow evening...” BETHANY STUART “Throw peanuts around.” EDWIN YEUNG

“Take a leaf out of Riggan Thomson’s book and shoot my nose off on stage.” JOSH MINES

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Gamers should duck out of this dynasty

Harry Shepherd, Online Games and Tech Editor, puts Omega Force in last place

Dynasty Warriors 8: Empires Omega Force Xbox One, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC Out now

I HAVE my reservations whenever I turn back to my favourite nostalgic titles for fear of disappointment. So naturally, when I turned back to Dynasty Warriors, a set of games that were a guilty pleasure even when I was too young to know any better, I feared the worst. Surprisingly in this case I’m happy to inform you that… no, sorry this game is far from worth playing. Despite the near-endless customisation making this a good value game in some senses, the repetitive gameplay of swinging a sword around in circles or throwing darts at bad guys continually lets down the promising Empires meta game.

Veterans of the series will feel right at home in Dynasty Warriors 8: Empires, a beat ‘em up from Omega Force and Koei Tecmo. Empires is an expansion of the main set of ‘narrative-focused’ games and allows you to play the new roles of of�icers and soldiers in all sorts of positions, rising through the ranks to take on power and dominate your kingdom. The gameplay remains largely the same as you assume the form of a vast variety of super soldiers mowing down thousands of identikit foes. Perhaps you’ll last an hour, maybe even two, until the impending RSI leaves you questioning whether this is a valuable way of spending your time. The age-old button mashing fare gets tiresome quickly, as repeated presses of the Dualshock 4’s square and triangle buttons will vanquish 99 per cent of your enemies on most dif�iculties. There are some changes to

the limited combat; strategems have been enhanced from previous titles and the weather now affects particular special moves to add more layers of strategy, but this all feels gimmicky.

The level design is atrocious and the art direction is frankly unacceptable On top of the dull gameplay, the level design is atrocious and the art direction is frankly unacceptable on PS4, especially after stunningly gorgeous games like The Order: 1886 recently released on the platform. On countless occasions my fellow soldiers needed my assistance, only for me to reach their location and �ind I was on higher or lower ground with no means of getting to them. When I took the time to

take stock of my surroundings — as opposed to rushing to defeat the next general and get another battle over and done with — I often realised my surroundings were entirely bathed in one colour. The lack of diversity in many of the landscapes is also appalling, and don’t get me started on those subPS2 assets like the trees and foliage. There is an online component, but I was unable to �ind a game and, “There are no players currently looking to join a game” was the message I received on each attempt. Take from that what you will. It’s not all bad though, as DW8E is the most customisable entry to the series by some margin. Almost anything can be created with extensive detail; how can a game with over 40 moustache options be considered bad? Playable characters, horses, banners and even battle scenarios can be decided by the player, which pro-

vides endless gameplay opportunities. Also, the Empires meta game is pleasingly deep (especially as you raise the dif�iculty level) as you seek to take power and dominate your kingdom while balancing the needs of your recently conquered populations and your own resources. You can choose to despotically rule with a iron �ist, conscripting citizens and resources ruthlessly at every opportunity, or you can care for your kingdom as a benevolent ruler with a family and cute little soldier children. However, the promising aspects of DW8E are undermined each time to drag your armies into battle; the limited scope of the core gameplay offsets the strategy and customisable potential of the package. You have a lot of game for your money here, it’s just unfortunate that that game is Dynasty Warriors.

For beta or worse - Apple’s constant open OS updates

Sam Brewer discusses whether the tech giant’s public beta is really a public indecency IN the last week Apple has released the latest of its public beta updates for OS X for Mac. Yet, with updates putting your computer at risk of bugs and crashes, is the chance to see the latest update before everyone else really worth it? OS X Yosemite 10.10.3 has been opened up to let users play with the new Photos app. Along with the features of iPhoto, the app adds a considerable range of new features, primarily designed to complement

iCloud. This is another move by Apple to push their customers into purchasing the full set of iPhone, iPad and iMac. The real question here though is not based on the quality of the �inished update, it is in fact whether OS X users should be downloading incomplete software for their four �igure

machines. Apple did a similar beta release for the original release of the Yosemite OS, and although this test appeared to be largely successful, it does not take much searching to �ind horror stories of lost data and broken systems. In a similar turn of events a quick Google search

for problems with the new beta update reveals little to be worried about. However, delve a bit further and you’ll �ind reports of drops in speed and bugs affecting previously high performing systems. You can’t help but wonder then why Apple has been offering these beta updates to the average user. Of course there is a need to get data to improve updates, but surely this can be done just as ef�iciently on dedicated selected

systems. Furthermore, the beta’s inclusion in the ‘update’ section of the App Store could lead some users to take on the beta without realizing the risks. For a small, fault-�illed glimpse into the future, the risks to a constantly increasing number of Apple customers is not simply unnecessary but also unacceptable. As it stands, it is likely that it will only be a matter of time before a disproportionately large amount of users fall victim to a dodgy beta release.

Google makes a VR goggle box

GAMES & TECH

NEWS 1-5

COMMENT FEATURES 10-13 6-9

LIFESTYLE 14-15

MUSIC 16-20

FASHION PULLOUT

SCREEN 22-23

BOOKS 24-27

ARTS 29-31

GAMES & TECH

33-35

SPORT 37-40

16 MARCH 2015 |

EXEPOSÉ

Dave Hardy makes his own virtual reality headset using Google Cardboard A NUMBER of weeks ago I had the privilege of trying out an Oculus Rift Virtual Reality Headset in the Forum at an IBM stall. For those who don’t know, Oculus Rift is the cutting edge of virtual reality. The headset consists of two small screens that sit in front of the user’s eyes, along with a number of gyroscopes and accelerometers that allows the Rift to track the position of the user’s head in 3D space. The combination of these sensors allows the hardware to create a full 3D virtual environment for the user to explore. Prior to trying the Rift, I had no interest in virtual reality. I regarded it as a rather pointless and over-priced area of technology. Virtual Reality is currently expensive as it requires a large amount of processing power, high de�inition screens and motion tracking hardware.

tion tracking and a number of other sensors, Google thought to use this as a means of creating ultra-cheap Virtual Reality experiences. All that is required is downloadable content and a means of placing the phone near your eyes. Enter Google Cardboard.

Virtual Reality does not have to be expensive, it can be accessible to anyone with a smartphone Cardboard is quite literally what it says on the tin. A cardboard net. You can order a �lat-packed £5-£10 model online, or purchase some lenses and print out the card-

H o w e v e r, most people already own all these things. We all carry this hardware around with us in our pockets without a second thought. With all current smartphones sporting fast multicore processors, large HD screens, mo-

board net designs from Google’s website. The setup process takes less than �ive minutes; assemble the unit, download the Google Cardboard App, slot your phone in and you’re good to go! Using this for the �irst time, I must admit I was sceptical, but honestly I was completely blown away by the quality of this, somewhat gimmicky, product. On booting up my �irst application, I was greeted with a 3D menu system that required me to look around and select apps (using the magnetic button on the left side of the headset). Head tracking works �luidly, animations are snappy and the 3D effect is incredibly immersive. You �ind yourself forgetting this is all powered by a phone. One minute you can be in your bedroom on a cold boring Saturday, the next you can be in a space station, orbiting an alien world, or in a huge virtual cinema, maybe even viewing 360 degree photos of Mars captured by NASA’s Curiosity. The possibilities are endless and, due to Google making the whole concept open source, anyone can begin designing apps for it. Cardboard is not a completed product as such. It is no Oculus Rift and, well, it is Cardboard (I’ve already had

to bust out a Pritt stick and some sellotape!). Cardboard is much rather the proof of a concept. Google set out to prove that Virtual Reality doesn’t have to be expensive, but it can be accessible to anyone with a Smartphone, and prove it they have! Since release, the market has blossomed with full products based on the Cardboard concept being produced by companies such as Samsung.

Cardboard is quite literally what it says on this tin. A cardboard net At £5 for the cheapest models, pick one up and see for yourself! Recommended Android Apps: Google Cardboard app - a number of demos, such as Google Earth, YouTube, and Photosphere viewer. Full Dive! - a more �leshed-out version of the Google Cardboard App. With a heads up display, YouTube support, and the ability to launch all Cardboard Apps.

Sisters - A short immersive horror game, worth playing to the end, but not for the easily frightened! Alien apartment - Explore an apartment orbiting an alien world, solve a puzzle, or just look out the window! Cmoar Virtual Cinema - ever wished you could bring the cinema to you? Well, now you can. However, it is a little empty, and watching a full movie on cardboard may be a bit uncomfy. Trinus Gyre - For the technically minded, this app makes it possible to use cardboard to interact with your computer. It is possible to even play games like Portal 2! Recommended iOS Apps: Dive City Rollercoaster - Take a tour of a city on a roller-coaster. 3D Tube (split screen video) Browse 3D YouTube videos. The Height - explore a 3D-rendered scaffolding.

7.8 too many numbers too much water

Why EuroGamer is kicking review scores, and how that’ll be reviewed Nicholas Porter

THE TOPIC of this article comes in the wake of EuroGamer’s decision to remove review scores, opting instead to use a recommendation-based system. However, the question of whether or not products of art and media should be reviewed from a totally objective, arithmetic-based system is one which can be applied across the board, to games, books and movies alike. On the one hand, I understand the necessity of review scores: many people read reviews as a kind of buying guide and a letter grade or rating out of ten is a shorthand way of deciding what to

spend their time and money on. It doesn’t help that newspapers and magazines don’t offer the necessary amount of space for larger, more nuanced reviews – which means a simpler, more streamlined approach is required. On the other hand, they can be incredibly restrictive. Let’s say you’re browsing Metacritic and you see a game that is rated 7/10. What does that mean, exactly? Is it really saying that the critic has played the game and examined its every single facet and nuance, including but not

limited to: gameplay mechanics, story, mult i p l a y e r, graphi c s ,

theme, genre, entertainment value, target audience and authorial intent – and then proceeded to deduce a numerical value that weighs up all these factors in a fair and unbiased way for every single person reading? How does the reviewer’s personal taste come into it; is it possible to be completely objective? I am hesitant about bringing the “subjectivity” argument into this, as

it’s just one small step from that to ‘Well, reviews are completely pointless because it’s all opinion!’ which is ridiculous and just as reductive as the idea that critics are the absolute authority on art. There has to be a compromise. There has to be a conversation. At the moment, games are in an interesting and dynamic place. The medium has exploded into cultural consciousness in the past couple of decades, but there hasn’t yet been any major critical and/ or academic response as there has been with literature, theatre and �ilm.

There is still this (misguided) mentality that games are just a quaint hobby for younger people who should have better things to do with their lives. If we want this opinion to change (and we do, because games can be as awesome as any other kind of art), then the critical landscape needs to change. Reviews can’t just be buying guides; they need to be – like the absolute best reviews – doors into new ways of thinking. So I’m on board with EuroGamer’s decision. They’ve decided that the conversation is worth more than the assignment of worth – and that’s always a good start.

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I’ve opened your mind, you’re now colourblind

Theo Stone addresses an issue that’s sure to leave you feeling blue (or gold) Which colours you see depends upon how your eyes work out colour in a sunlit world. The brain is required to avoid seeing the colour of the light re�lecting off the object, and simply see the colour of the object itself. The sun may be yellow, but we see shirts as white. A similar system is present in cameras. Some people are wired differently. Certain people tend to discount blue, but retain white. The same applies for the black and the gold. Furthermore, as the time of day shifts, people adjust to the changing daylight and temporal norms. Because of the fact that an ambient night sky might appear blue,

people will be more likely to see the dress as white and gold as the day draws to a close. Alongside this, a phenomena known as ‘Colour Constancy’ also enters into the problem. Despite our changing surroundings, we are able to retain a consistent understanding of colour, therefore allowing us to constantly see a MacBook as silver. However, because of the fact that the picture of the dress contains very little information about its surrounding environment, it means that the brain begins to interpret its colours based solely on the light falling on it. Therefore, we are more susceptible to disagreeing on the colour. In accordance with this, the fact that the surroundings in the picture are minimised means that our eyes are likely to take information about our own surroundings as a means of interpreting the colour of the picture, despite the locational difference. Those who look at it in a room lit by neon lights will perceive the colours differently to those who look at it outside.

And now, because I’m a Philosophy student, I feel obliged to reference Joseph Jastrow’s drawing of a rabbit. Or is it of a duck? The philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, in his book Philosophical Investigations, popularized the image. When you look at the drawing, you can see it as both a duck and a rabbit, despite the fact that you have not altered it. While you can’t see them together, you can see each individually. This is “aspect-switching” wherein you see one aspect, such as the duck’s bill, and then reinterpret it as a rabbit’s ears. The image can alter its content depending on the de�inition we assign an

Puzzle Corner

Across:

Answers:

Down: 1 Play, 2 Macbeth, 3 Hatch, 4 Engine, 6 India, 7 Graphite, 8 Cardio, 13 Downfall, 15 Latino, 17 Essence, 18 Castle, 20 Gland, 22 Blood, 23 Spot.

Across: 1 Pamphlet, 5 King, 9 Ascot, 10 Grandma, 11 Peahen, 12 Death, 14 On hold, 16 Forest, 19 Night, 21 Ambush, 24 Against, 25 Own up, 26 Lady, 27 Dead heat.

ON Friday 27 February, the United States Congress passed a bill that ensured Net Neutrality across the Internet. What this means is that, regardless of the size of data being transferred, the data will be transferred at the same speed and for free. In other words, a victory for the general public. However, this event was forced under the boot of another story, or rather, a question. Is this dress blue and black, or is it white and gold? Well, according to the manufacturer, it’s blue and black. However, those who saw it as white and gold shouldn’t feel sad.

Sudoku #11 and Crossword #74 by Alfred

aspect of the drawing. Whilst we may not be able to switch the colours of the dress as freely as we can with the identity of the Duckrabbit, the basic ideas still apply. We can see something that, and we can see something as. In this case, when we see either colour, we are reporting that we see said colour. In addition, we can see it as a dress (seeing that), but we can note a particular aspect (the colour), where we then proceed to see it as something, and thus place special meaning onto it. But really, it’s still black and blue.

1) Brochure (8) 5) Regal position - in 2, Duncan and 2, say (4) 9) Famous horse racing town - coast (anagram) (5) 10) Old female relative (7) 11) Female peacock - he, a pen? (anagram) (6) 12) Loss of life (which befalls Duncan and Banquo in 2?) (5) 14) Delayed - reserved (like library books?) (2,4) 16) Large area of land and trees (which moves 24 2?) (6) 19) Hours of darkness (when the 16 moves 24 2) (5) 21) Sudden attack (6) 24) Opposing (7) 25) Confess (3,2) 26) Noblewoman (like 2’s wife) (4) 27) Sporting tie? (4,4)(4,5)

Down:

1) Type of theatre work - 2, say (4) 2) Famous 11thC Scottish king portrayed by Shakespeare in c. 1606 (7) 3) Emerge from an egg (5) 4) Motor (6) 6) Asian country (5) 7) I get harp (anagram) - lead (in your pencil?) (8) 8) Exercise for the heart - or acid (anagram) (6) 13) Undoing - 2’s was killing 5 Duncan! (8) 15) Hispanic - in a lot (anagram) (6) 17) Nature - perfume (7) 18) Rook (chess) 2’s is Inverness (6) 20) Organ in the body (5) 22) Vital �luid (which 26 2 can’t remove?) (5) 23) Stain (which 26 2 damns?) (4)

Answers:

Take the quiz for your chance to win a monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rent for you and your housemates. Visit: hub.endsleigh.co.uk/housematequiz Terms and conditions apply.

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Climbing Club win LUBE C��

Jessie Stanier

Climbing Club member

Exeter Climbing Club Winners THE University of Exeter Climbing Club enjoyed a successful weekend at this year’s London University Bouldering Event (LUBE), with their A team defending their title to come away victorious for the second year running. Up at the crack of dawn to make the drive to London for the fourth and �inal round of this year’s LUBE, victory was the aim for Exeter’s climbers. Both the A and B teams had put in strong performances at the previous three rounds, and the competition came to a head at the Arch Climbing Wall, Bermondsey, on Saturday 7 March. LUBE is an annual national bouldering competition, hosted by FreshersExposeAdvert.pdf King’s College London Mountain-1 eering Club, for university teams

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to compete across four top indoor venues in London. Universities can enter two mixed teams made up of three climbers as well as up to two individual competitors. Within the three hour time limit, climbers must complete as many of the 25 bouldering problems as possible in as few attempts as they can. The top three men, women and teams gain podium positions.

versity. Together with Keiha Dhruev, the A team defended their title as reigning champions, coming away victorious with an overall �irst place, a hugely impressive 153 points

above second placed Warwick. Meanwhile, the B team made up of Naomi Tilley, Freddy Saunders and Will Robertson came twelfth overall and were the third best B team in the

competition. Walking away with a van full of prizes and the slate LUBE trophy, Exeter put in a sterling performance to end the competition season on a high.

Exeter put in a sterling performance to end the competition season on a high A range of technical problems dominated by slab walls had many climbers scratching their heads. Nonetheless, Exeter’s climbers put in a �irst-rate performance. Rhoslyn Frugniet took second place in the women’s league, topping her BUCS placing of fourth, while Johnny Kydd 09/10/2014 came �irst in08:37 the men’s. Both were in their �inal competition for the Uni-

>> Exeter’s A Team. From left to right: Rhoslyn Frugtniet, Johnny Kydd and Keiha Dhruev. Photo: Will Robertson

EULHC crash out on ﬂicks 38

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COMMENT FEATURES 10-13 6-9

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Charlie Evans Sports Team

EULHC Loughborough

0 (3) 0 (5)

EULHC 1s took on Loughborough 1s in their BUCS Semi-Final on Wednesday 11 March and cruelly lost 5-3 on penalty �licks after a tense 0-0 draw. The 1s went into this match full of con�idence after seeing off Nottingham comfortably 4-1 a week earlier in their Varsity �ixture, and a sizeable crowd showed up to cheer the girls on and urge them on in their attempt to reach the �inal. The �irst half opened with Loughborough coming out strong, with some slick passing and �irm territory. Exeter on the other hand, made an uncharacteristically large number of unforced errors, much to the frustration of the watching crowd. However, EULHC strengthened as the game progressed, earning a penalty corner �ifteen minutes in. Katie Taverner swept the ball in, but Captain Kathryn Lane’s shot went just wide of the post.

Exeter came out of the blocks in the second half with rigour and enthusiasm This was followed by a good period of Exeter pressure, as the home side began to dominate in possession. The game continued to ebb and �low, with Loughborough earning themselves a penalty corner. A strong shot at goal was met with a great save from keeper Ella Jackson. The half ended with a small phase of Exeter comeback, including some fantastic dribbling from Bobbie Burkin, but no end product. Exeter came out of the blocks in the second half with rigour and enthusiasm, but also defending strongly against Loughborough insurgencies, with Lane and Izzy Grigg putting in big challenges. A period of good pressing gave Exeter momentum and resulted in consecutive penalty corners but both were squandered. As the half wore on, discipline problems started to creep in, with Ness Sharman being shown a green card for a deliberate foot, whilst a Loughborough mid�ielder was shown a yellow. But Exeter couldn’t

>> EULHC’s Hannah Griffiths holds off a Loughborough challenge during their 0-0 draw. Photo: Natasa Christofidou

take advantage, with Grigg �luf�ing another chance from a penalty corner. Late in the game a long-range Loughborough effort looked to have sealed the tie. However, much to Exeter’s relief, it hit the goal directly from outside the D, meaning it was disallowed. Soon after the �inal whistle blew, meaning the game would go to penalty �licks. Loughborough chose to �lick �irst in the shoot-out and scored their �irst two penalties with powerful drives down the middle. Exeter kept apace however, with Meg Crowson hitting a �ine �inish into the top left corner and the exceptional Bobbie Burkin

into the bottom left. The ruthless Loughborough side dispatched their next two �licks with ease, and with the score �inely poised it was up to the England under-21 star Lane to take centre-stage. Lane stepped up and con�idently struck the �lick, but was cruelly thwarted by the keeper sticking a foot out to the right, leaving Loughborough to take home the spoils with a �inal �lick into the bottom left corner. This was a bitterly disappointing end to what has been a fantastic season for EULHC 1s. Despite playing with great intensity throughout, they were left to rue several key corners which were squandered earlier in

the match, which if converted, could have seen them through to the �inal. Instead it’s Loughborough who will face Birmingham on 25 March.

We played so well as a team, and it’s clear how far we have come this season Kathryn Lane, EULHC Captain Speaking after the game, Director of Hockey Chris McInroy struggled to hide his disappointment, commenting: “It’s a tough way to go

out of the cup. Our defence was outstanding, and it’s a pity we did not score from a corner in the second half. “We exerted great pressure on them, but couldn’t land a telling blow,” he continued. “We are a young side and will be back next year all the stronger for the experience.” Captain Kathryn Lane saw the positives, however, adding: “The season has been incredible, being undefeated in the Southern Premiership, and I think yesterday’s performance represented that.” “We played so well as a team, and it’s clear how far we have come this season.”

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Heartbreak for EURFC CONTINUED FROM BACK PAGE ... the rewards. Another monumental carry from Shirlaw punctured the defence and earned a penalty. However, from the advantage Exeter should have scored. With acres of space out wide to exploit, the Exeter backline lost their composure and the ball went to ground. Although the penalty took the scores to 16-9, it felt as if there were points lost rather than gained. Indeed, Exeter were nearly punished further after another violation at the breakdown gave Loughborough a chance from the tee but the resulting kick was wayward. However, they did not have to wait long for the next score. The impending drop out was kicked long, which allowed Loughborough’s pacey back three a chance to counter and they did so with aplomb, breaching the Exeter defence to cross the whitewash. The score was at 21-9 and Exeter had it all to do.

The best of BUCS Selected results from BUCS matches played on 11 March Badminton Women’s 2s Bath Spa

Lacrosse

8 0

Women’s 1s Durham

9 19

Women’s 2s Cambridge

12 11

Squash Men’s 2s Birmingham

1 4

Hockey

Exeter were nearly punished further after another violation at the breakdown The match could have been out of reach moments later after another Loughborough break. However, a stunning last ditch tackle from winger Aaron Struminski kept Exeter in the game. A couple of superbly judged tactical kicks from scrum half Sam Waltier then gave Exeter fantastic �ield position from which to mount their comeback. This momentum eventually told, as Exeter earned a penalty just outside the 22. Replacement �ly half Freddie Gabbitass opted to kick for the corner as Exeter went in search of their �irst try. The pack obliged and after a successful driving maul, they barged over in the corner, with hooker Paul Davis the scorer. Gabbitass expertly dissected the posts to make it 21-16 and the stage was set for an epic �inale with 20 minutes remaining. A resurgent EURFC immediately returned into the Loughborough half via a series of immense carries from the forwards. The most notable of these came from the impressive back row Matt Eliet. This gave Exeter consistent quick ball. However, Loughborough’s defence remained impermeable. Meanwhile, at scrum time, the referee continued to frustrate the

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Men’s 2s Cambridge

2 (4) 2 (1)

Women’s 1s Loughborough

0 (3) 0 (5)

Tennis Men’s 2s Warwick

4 8

Men’s 3s Southampton

10 2

Men’s 4s UWE

12 0

Netball

>> Above: Scrum-half Sam Waltier puts the ball in at the scrum. Below: Alex Wilcockson leads an EURFC attack. Photos: Edwin Yeung

home side. Despite Exeter having superiority, he refused to penalise the Loughborough front row amid countless collapses. These killed the momentum and also the time remaining on the clock. This frustration was compounded moments later when Loughborough were able to clear the danger and venture into EURFC’s half. A clear error at the breakdown gifted them a penalty in front of the posts, which they converted. This extended the lead to more than one score and

was a major blow for the home side.

EURFC have only lost twice all year whilst playing some stunning rugby The game was then sealed moments later. Loughborough’s rapid winger exploited Exeter’s narrow defence and scored from inside his own half, taking the lead to an un-

assailable 29-16. Exeter �inished strongly, with a �inal few phases of dogged determination, which highlighted their strength of character, but it was to no avail. The match �inished 29-16, and the Twickenham dream was over. Nevertheless, as BUCS Premier South champions, EURFC have only lost twice all year whilst playing some stunning rugby. This, coupled with a Varsity rout means they should be extremely proud of their season.

Women’s 2s Bath

44 28

Women’s 4s Plymouth

35 26

Rugby Union Men’s 1s Loughborough

16 29

Women’s 1s Gloucestershire 1s

10 16

Women’s 2s Winchester

32 5

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EURFC denied Twickenham ﬁnal by Loughborough LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE Exeposé Sport

Freddie Turner

Online Sport Editor

EURFC 1s Loughborough 1s

16 29

EURFC suffered semi-�inal heartbreak at Topsham last Wednesday, having their Twickenham dreams dashed at the hands of sporting powerhouse Loughborough. The defeat was EURFC’s third in a row at this stage of the competition, and also ended the home side’s two and a half year unbeaten record at Topsham. Heading into the clash, the BUCS Premier South champions were missing a number of their key players. Sam Skinner and Jack Owlett were both away on international duty, whilst Oli Rammage joined club captain Ben King on the injury list. Nonetheless, on home soil in front of a vociferous crowd, they were con�ident of continuing their excellent campaign.

Exeter were dealt another blow, as Captain Harry Ledger was forced off with injury

In this issue of Exeposé Sport...

GAMES & TECH

SPORT EDITOR

M��’� R��

>> EURFC’s Alex Webb looks despondent in defeat. Photo: Edwin Yeung

ARTS 29-31

The visitors began well, asserting their authority on the game in the early stages. A controversial early penalty at the scrum allowed them to secure the �irst points of the

Climbing Club win London competiton Page 37

afternoon, making it 3-0. This was soon followed by a Loughborough try. Scintillating wing play broke the Exeter defence and the centre was on hand to receive the inside ball and cross the line. The visitors were 10-0 up within ten minutes. Exeter needed a spark to get them into the game and centre Rob Coote obliged. A mesmerizing run and deft of�load earned the Green Army their �irst point scoring opportunity. Fly half James Doe duly converted and EURFC were on the scoreboard at 10-3. However, the momentum was disturbed by another handling error, which gifted Loughborough territory. Their potent backline again stretched the Exeter defence and only an outstretched tackle from Doe stopped a certain try. Nonetheless, Loughborough still turned pressure into points, after a breakdown infringement allowed them to make it 13-3. Exeter responded well, with Coote once again the architect. A strong line break created space for winger Alex Ross to enter the Loughborough 22. Some physical carries from the forwards allowed Exeter to put a period of sustained pressure together for the �irst time in the match, which earned them a penalty. Doe did the honours to make it 13-6. Then Exeter were dealt another blow, as Captain Harry Ledger was forced off the �ield with injury. His expertise at the breakdown and leadership were to be missed. Exeter

continued to make uncharacteristic errors, gifting their opponents �ield position. This was again costly, as a well struck penalty made it 16-6. This lead could have increased further after Loughborough won two more penalties, but their kicker was unable to slot either and Exeter were granted a reprieve. Just before half time, the Green Army �inally found some rhythm and began to put some well-constructed phases together. Number eight George Shirlaw showcased his physicality with a couple of notable gain line breaking carries which allowed Exeter some much craved quick ball.

Just before half time, the Green Army �inally found some rhythm A mini break from centre Alex Wilcockson nearly put Ross into the corner but Loughborough’s defence scrambled well, albeit illegally. The proximity to the line meant the offence perhaps warranted a yellow card but the referee disagreed and when Doe’s kick slid just wide of the posts, the half time de�icit remained ten points at 16-6. This was probably a fair re�lection of the half, in which Exeter had given away too many penalties and struggled for territory. Exeter began the second half with increased physicality and reaped...

CONTINUED ON PAGE 39

EULHC’s semi-�inal defeat For the latest BUCS Page 38 content go online