E X E TE RA A Ligher Alternative for Exeter University | Issue 14 | FREE
THE ILLEGAL EDITION
Exetera Magazine
2
The Illegal Edition
U N L E A S H Y O U R C R E A T I V I T Y I N
F I L M
KIT HIRE FROM EXETER PHOENIX’S FILM PRODUCTION RESOURCE CHOOSE FROM A LARGE SELECTION OF PRO EQUIPMENT INCLUDING CAMERA, LIGHTING AND AUDIO KIT
NEW IN 4K CAMERAS, BLUE SCREENS, INFINITY CURVE WHITE SCREENS, PLUS NEW TRIPODS, LIGHTS AND SOUND KITS.
Y NAR SIO S E C IT CON NK FOR SO E T RA TE QUO
T EXE
ERA
BRADNINCH PLACE, GANDY STREET, EXETER, EX4 3LS | EXETERPHOENIX.ORG.UK/CREATIVE-HUB OR CALL 01392 667066
3
Exetera Magazine
EDITOR'S NOTE I once narrowly avoided being tasered by police. The exact details of the crime committed ought to remain obscure, but I am able to disclose that it involved a chicken and mushroom slice, an armed policeman, and eventually a pair of handcuffs. Needless to say, I escaped without a criminal record, unlike many of the perpetrators featured between the covers of this issue. For this edition of Exetera, our writers were asked to submit pieces related to the theme of illegality. The crimes discussed range from the trivial to the global in scale. Crimes against humanity, fashion, art and democracy sit alongside articles on whistleblowing, graffiti and drugs. Although the theme ‘illegal’ leans toward the serious, the more heavy articles are balanced out by several lighter pieces: a short story, some spoof classified ads, and most importantly a board game where you get to pretend to be a sack of heroin. Finally, thanks to the University of Exeter’s Humanities department, who have funded us this year, meaning we haven’t had to cheat, steal or blackmail in order to publish. As this magazine will hopefully illustrate; crime doesn’t pay (but the humanities department do).
4
The Illegal Edition
INMATES Editor Michael Goodier
CELL NO.
Deputy Editor Friederike Ach
6 - Life On The Farm
Creative Director Thomas Hanks
8 - Nowhere To Run 1 0 - Trouble in Turkey
Visual Director
1 2 - The War on Whistleblowing
Harry Bowley
1 4 - Police Porn Predicament Arts & Music Editor
1 6 - Crimes Against Fashion
Emma Croft
2 0 - The Heroin Trail 2 2 - The Stolen Generations
Advertising & Marketing Lily Plume & Ruby Holley
2 3 - Being Deadly Certain 2 6 - How Banksy Lost His Edge
Contributors Rhian Coekin / Ruby Holley Niall Walker / Maddy Everington Michael Goodier / Collum Smith Emily Chandler / Daisy van der Lande Lily Plume / Ollie Seaton Christy Ku / Gareth Browne
2 7 - Joint Enterprise 2 8 - Exetera Crimes 2 9 - Laughed Out Of Court 3 0 - Promised Lands 3 2 - The Google Conspiracy 3 4 - To Chew or Not to Chew
Illustrators Katie Whyte / Ella Tritton
3 6 - Student Confessions
Michael Goodier
3 8 - Classified Ads
Models Lily Mcdougal / Sophy Dexter Elizabeth Ryan www.exeteramagazine.com Facebook: ExeteraMagazine Instagram: @exetera
5
Exetera Magazine
6
The Illegal Edition
L I F E O N T H E F A R M F
words by Daisy van der Lande
ollowing the recent Netflix production ‘Narcos’; a series based on the life of the notorious drug lord Pablo Escobar, there has been renewed interest in the undercover world of the narco-trafficers and narco-wars that have come to taint Colombia’s history. But is this global impression of Colombia as the ‘cocaine capital of the world’ still just and relevant? Today, the country has seen a huge increase in tourists, primarily since the government regained power of the road network, making it safer to travel. Many of these tourists venture to cities such as Medellín, famed for the Medellín drug cartel founded by Escobar himself. It is from here that you can organise a visit to Escobar’s house, which still has the crash landed plane used to transport drugs to Miami in the garden; some visitors have even claimed to have been shown round by his brother. However, deep into the rugged landscape outside San Augustín, in Southern Colombia, it is possible to gain a much more up close experience of the white stuff that led Escobar to be one of the top 10 richest men in the world in his prime. A friend recalls to me his first-hand experience of a cocaine farm, exposing the hidden truths of the reality of the powder that has come to be associated with rich city workers. The farm, only accessible by dirt bike along a near impassable track, consists of a small production facility and cabins for the workers, surrounded by fields of coca leaves. The workers live on the farm for five days of the week and then return to their respective surrounding villages for the weekend. This close proximity of only 10 or so men means that the atmosphere on the farm is one of a large extended family, with each member having their own role in the workings of it. The working week is split: two days are spent actually producing and packing the cocaine, and the remanding three are spent chopping and maintaining the coca leaves. On average this humbly sized farm is able to produce 400g of cocaine a week, retailing at a value of nearly £32, 000. The farm workers live a modest existence, not only because of the treacherous journey to get supplies up there, but also the need to remain inconspicuous to potential police helicopters that occasionally survey the area. The sleeping cabins and adjacent communal eating facility are poorly constructed, with raised concrete foundations, wooden wall panels, and corrugated metal roofing. In a separate clearing a few meters from the living area was the production warehouse, containing a huge
padlocked storage area for the packed cocaine awaiting distribution. Although the farm produces a huge amount of money, the workers are unable to ‘splash’ out on expensive items and indulge in the money they make; this would generate too much interest. Many even said their wives don’t know the industry they are involved in. A typical day would begin with the junior workers rising to cook breakfast for the whole camp following which the manager, Livardo, would do the daily checks and then begin the production. The workers would stop for about an hour and a half lunch during the day in which time the extracted and washed cocaine is left to dry out under incubators before the powder is transferred into large 5kg packages. The perception of cocaine as a ‘clean, white powder’ is completely shattered by the ugly reality of the elements that go into making it. The process begins with the coca leaves. Huge quantities of the small dark leaves are chopped to begin the breaking down process. Bicarbonate of soda and cement are added to the leaves, which are mixed together and then left to rest. After this, a large amount of gasoline is added and left for a substantial amount of time - this is the most dangerous part of the process, as the fumes exuded from the gasoline can be extremely detrimental for health. The mixture is drained and squeezed out before bleach is added, which helps to clearly separate the pure cocaine from the crack. The pure white mixture is then scooped up, washed, and dried under a heated light to remove the moisture, leaving behind a pure white powder. The workers on the farm have worked at the facility for a varying number of years. Livardo is the longest serving, having been introduced to the industry by a friend eight years ago with the promise of more money and a better lifestyle. The reality of the workers illegal involvement with the narco industry has meant that many of them have serious health issues, largely through the close contact with toxic chemicals, but also through their addiction to the drug. Livardo admitted that the majority of the workers at the farm are too addicted to the drug and the money to be able to give up, despite many having terminal kidney problems, skin conditions and erectile dysfunction. This reality illustrates not only the danger the drug poses to the end-user but also to the people at the very beginning of the chain. If there continues to be a demand, then there will always be a supply, maintained by workers like Livardo weighing the risks against a promise of a better life.
7
Exetera Magazine
Nowhere to words by Gareth Browne
A
gees has manifested itself across Europe. Earlier this year the EU and Turkey reached a deal that will see almost all migrants systematically turned back from Greek Islands in exchange for €6bn in aid. EU officials unconvincingly claim its legality and that it is not in violation of non-refoulement, which forbids the rendering of a victim of persecution to their persecutor. The decision to cease Operation Mare Nostrum in October 2014 also drew widespread condemnation. The search and rescue mission’s termination was widely criticised as a cause of the increased death rate of those attempting the arduous journey to Europe. A spate of attacks in Cologne on New Year’s Eve of 2015 which saw hundreds of women assaulted by men of “Arab appearance” has helped to make a difficult situation that much worse. French far-right leader Marine Le Pen compared the situation in Europe to the barbarian invasion of Rome. Such rhetoric has also been driven by the terror threat. A fake passport belonging to an alleged Syrian refugee found outside the Stade De France following the devastating attacks in Paris last November ignited conspiracy theories that all the attackers had travelled to France as refugees, when in fact they were overwhelmingly natural citizens. Added to this has been the constant message
s Syria’s sarin-tinted inferno rages on, women and children scramble to escape Assad’s barrel bombs and the Islamic States black flagged brutality. The refugee crisis boiling over the EU’s south eastern corner has caught leaders with their hands in their pockets, and for refugees it has become the case that even running from Syria’s battlefields is far from a guarantee of safety. Even refugee camps no longer offer refuge. For many, the first sign that the problem was reaching European shores was in September 2015, when photos of three-year old Aylan Kurdi were printed showing him lying dead on a Turkish beach, having drowned as his family attempted to cross the Mediterranean Sea in search of safety. Kurdi’s family were almost immediately granted Canadian citizenships and a heartfelt petition forced the UK government into taking five thousand refugees per year. But European policy has failed to prevent flotillas of overloaded boats departing for Greece; more than a million made the crossing in 2015 alone. A lack of appetite to deal with the root cause - namely the conflict in Syria and Iraq, has permitted the crisis to rumble on into 2016. Failings have been just as significant on a domestic level, as burgeoning hostility to refu-
8
The Illegal Edition
o run. regime militia in Aleppo. The arrest barely scratches the surface; a Facebook group entitled “Refugees not Criminals” claims to be tracking dozens of the former militiamen who have managed to insert themselves into Europe. Reports that they spy on and intimidate genuine refugees on behalf of the regime suggest that they are the true risk to Europe – not the innocents of Aleppo and Kobane cramming into rickety boats in the Aegean. Even refugee camps are no longer safe. At least 28 were killed in an airstrike on Kamouna refugee camp in early May, with the UN humanitarian affairs chief suggesting that it constituted a war crime. It is clear we’re moving into a post-humanitarian era. The most sacred of havens are no longer safe, and refugees are not only under attack from their persecutors but are also failed by those with the responsibility to provide them with safety. There is nowhere to run. Europe is not responsible for its refugee crisis, as some might like to suggest, but it is obliged to help when it can. The continent has a proud history of accepting those in need, and to reject them now would not only declare Europe a humanitarian desert, but also risk exacerbating the root causes of the crisis.
delivered directly to western media outlets by the Islamic State’s slick propaganda unit: that it was going to flood Europe with undercover jihadists. What many fail to realise is the manner in which such a closed border policy plays into the Islamic State’s narrative. Donald Trump speeches and breaking news headlines on anti-immigrant policies and
Donald Trump speeches and breaking news headlines on anti-immigrant policies and rhetoric are cynically manipulated in ISIS’s propaganda rhetoric are cynically manipulated in ISIS’s propaganda. In this sense Europe is its own worst enemy. Further to this, refugee processing procedures have been inadequate. However it is not the Sunni extremists of Islamic State that are getting through the system, it’s the sectarian militias of Bashar Al-Assad. In April of this year, German authorities arrested a Syrian with refugees status on suspicion of war crimes committed whilst part of a
9
Exetera Magazine
TROUBLE IN Critical journalism and political opposition has effectively become illegal in Turkey, and Europe is turning a blind eye. Michael Goodier discusses how one of Europes most valuable allies is cracking down on dissent.
T
he Turkish Republic is a ship at the centre of a political maelstrom. Deadly clashes between state military and Kurdish militias are a daily occurrence in the country’s Kurdish south east, with entire towns placed under curfew and facing military bombardment. Terrorist attacks are hitting the heart of Turkey’s major cities, Ankara and Istanbul, with depressing regularity. Turkey’s relationship with the USA has become strained, and relations with Russia are at an all-time low. The country’s sizeable economy has recently experienced a slowdown in growth, and the Lira is expected to depreciate further. Meanwhile, Turkey is home to a record number of refugees fleeing the conflict next door in Syria. Strongman president Tayyip Recep Erdoğan has steered his country into choppy waters, and is trying to keep it afloat through tightening his grip on the wheel and throwing anyone who dissents overboard. Turkish voters returned Erdoğan’s AK Party to power in November; many citing the need for stability following attacks and riots in the south-east as a reason for their support. They must be sorely disappointed. Since the election, Turkey’s cycle of violence has only worsened, and peace looks further away than ever. Those who hoped that a lack of a super-majority would stop Erdoğan consolidating his rule through executive presidential powers must also be similarly disappointed. With his party in effective control of most of Turkey’s institutions, Erdoğan has his powers in all but name already, and is putting them to use in criminalising political opposition. The Turkish justice ministry is currently involved in a process that would lift the immunities of members of parliament: a move specifically designed to target the pro-Kurdish HDP, including the party co-chairs Selahattin Demirtaş
and Figen Yüksekdağ. This would likely lead to their arrest, and would represent another blow to any semblance of Turkish democracy. A heated debate went viral in May after it led to a Parliamentary brawl. For us, these phrases have absolutely no value any longer Turkish President Erdoğan on free- dom, democracy and rule of law. The forced resignation of Erdoğan’s closest ally, Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoğlu, is another step on the road to authoritarianism, and represents a loss of one of the only functioning checks and balances on the power of the President. However, nowhere is Turkey’s anti-democratic crackdown more evident that in the treatment of the country’s media. Opposition newspapers and television channels have been attacked, seized, and their content changed to match the government line, whilst social media is frequently throttled or outright blocked by a government in fear of its own citizens. The rhetoric of democracy has also finally gone out of the window. In a refreshing display of honesty, Erdoğan declared in March that democracy, freedom, and the rule of law in Turkey “have absolutely no value any longer”. He has moved from describ-
10
ing Turkey’s media as “the world’s freest press” in 2014, to arguing that journalism should fall under the rubric of terrorism in 2016. It seems that Turkey’s president is finally admitting to his totalitarian streak. In Erdoğan’s Turkey, to wield a pen against the government is tantamount to exploding a bomb. Increasingly draconian interpretations of the law in the face of the terrorist threat are allowing the Turkish president to brutally crack down on critical newspapers and television channels. Domestic journalists find themselves charged for “insulting the president” or “supporting a terrorist organisation” if they are too critical of the government, leading to self-censorship among what remains of the country’s non-government supporting press. Last September, the Istanbul offices of opposition paper Hürriyet were attacked by more than fifty pro-government protestors. A few weeks later, a columnist was attacked outside his home. Although these attacks were condemned by officials, Turkey’s government has been encouraging the atmosphere of anti-media hostility in which they thrive. In October, police forced their way into the headquarters of media outlets owned by the Koza-İpek Group and seized control, shutting down two TV channels live on air. Journalists at the Bugün daily newspaper were insulted and arbitrarily sacked by the new trustees, shifting the editorial direction of the paper to a pro-government stance overnight. In November, the Editor-in-Chief and Ankara bureau chief of newspaper Cumhuriyet Daily were arrested. Their crime was publishing images
The Illegal Edition
TURKEY also uses legal decisions in European countries to justify their authoritarian tendencies. When, in 2015, Turkey introduced draconian reforms to police powers that were widely condemned by human rights organisations, the then Justice Minister Bekir Bozdağ justified the measures by pointing to similar laws in Britain, France, and the Netherlands. Similarly, Turkey can point to Britain as another country that has conflated journalism with terror. Following the detention of David Miranda in 2013 under the UK terrorism act, an independent terror watchdog concluded that “the Turkey’s rank out of 180 publication countries for press freedom in 2015. (or threatCases opened against people for ened publication) insulting president Erdogan. of words may equally constitute terrorist action”. This is not Euros Turkey will recieve so different from the recent statements from the EU for stopping of President Erdoğan, arguing there is refugees. no difference between “a terrorist holding a gun or a bomb and those who use its editorial their position and pen to serve the aims”. positioning three days later. Severe security measures in In part, the Turkish govFrance following the attacks in Paris and ernment justifies its criminalisation of Brussels provide another opportunity journalism and political dissent as part for Erdoğan to point at Europe and say of the fightback against a “parallel state” “but they’re doing it too”. We may view controlled by the Hizmet organisation. our governments in Europe as relative Led by one-time ally of the ly benign, but their actions unwittingly president Fetullah Gülen, Hizmet is a provide would-be dictators abroad with religious organisation that the AK Parexcuses to suppress their population. ty claims has infiltrated Turkey’s state The EU has, over recent deinstitutions. Though the organisation cades, provided Turkey with an inis undoubtedly far-reaching, and there centive to brush up on its human may be some truth to the hyperbolic rights record. When the AKP were claims of its influence, it is wheeled out in the ascendency, the country as a convenient bogeyman every time made great progress, both ecothe AKP would like to claim more power nomically and socially, enover the Turkish state apparatus, and ap- couraged by the carrot of point their own people in courts, schools, EU membership. Reand boards of national newspapers. cently, with the po However, Turkey’s government 11 that allegedly showed a secret services’ weapons shipment to Syrian rebels. They have since been in and out of court, trying to avoid life sentences for espionage and threatening state security. This March, the Turkish state seized control of yet another opposition newspaper, the Gülen-linked Zaman, which again U-turned in
IN NUMBERS 149 1845 6bn
litical and economic fragility of the European project laid bare, Turkey has seemed less concerned (if at all) with gaining membership, and its human rights record has subsequently declined.
The recent deal between Turkey and the EU can only be described as shameful. A panic-stricken EU has shown that is prepared to turn a blind eye to Turkey’s increasingly worrying anti-democratic transgressions in return for reinforced borders. The recent deal between Turkey and the EU can only be described as shameful. By embracing Tayyip Recep Erdoğan, and handing Turkey political concessions and billions of Euros in aid in return for policing its borders, the EU has allowed its political fear of migrants to trump its concern for human rights. With the continent in turmoil over the refugee crisis, Turkey, as the gateway to Europe, holds all the cards in negotiation. This deal legitimises Erdoğan’s power grab, leaving him free to destroy Turkey’s press and democratic institutions, safe in the knowledge that the EU needs him more than he needs the EU. The anger in Anatolia does not look to be settling any time soon. The severe nature of Turkey’s leadership is matched only by the determination and resistance of its citizens, but it seems unlikely that either will pull the country away from the brink of authoritarianism and conflict. The ship of Turkish democracy is sinking, and unless it dramatically changes course, the future looks bleak for its journalists and its people.
Exetera Magazine
THE WAR ON WHISTLEBLOWING words by Niall Walker
illustration by Michael Goodier
“The American people want to trust in our government again – we just need a government that will trust in us. And making government accountable to the people isn’t just a cause of this campaign – it’s been a cause of my life for two decades. (Whistleblowers are)… the best source of information about waste, fraud, and abuse in government…such acts of courage and patriotism. . . should be encouraged rather than stifled.” Barack Obama, November 10th 2007
T
rust, accountability, and courage. It was with stirring rhetoric that Senator Obama – who began his presidential campaign as a supposed no-hoper – swept to power, attaining a larger share of the vote than any Democrat since Lyndon Johnson 44 years previously. Yet just four years later, as his campaign for re-election in 2012 began, Obama’s website boasted how he had arrested more whistleblowers than all his predecessors combined. The context of such an astonishing about-face was the rapid rise of WikiLeaks, an online whistleblowing database aiming to raise political accountability while safeguarding informant security. The organisation had evolved from its modest roots, becoming the most scandalous and persistent thorn in the side of (predominantly) American hegemony in the online era. In its nebulous history, there are few examples which better demonstrate the World Wide Web’s radically democratic poten-
tial; yet WikiLeaks represents a movement consistently threatened with increasingly novel and insidious forms of repression. Whistleblowing is nothing new, but the internet has revolutionised the practice, removing the barriers which even successful informants had struggled with in the pre-Web era. When FBI agent Mark Felt blew the whistle on the Nixon administration’s secretive wire-tapping practice, he relied on Washington Post journalists to get the ‘Watergate’ story out there. These journalists were targeted by the so-called ‘White House Plumbers’, Washington officials tasked with preventing leaks reaching the media. Houses were broken in to, records were stolen and dozens of the Post’s employees were tracked and monitored. That the story appeared at all is a testament to the bravery of the journalists in question. However, 21st Century whistleblowers can circumvent this reliance on organisations as precarious as the print
12
The Illegal Edition media. While WikiLeaks has utilised newspapers (including The Guardian, Der Spiegel and the New York Times) to disperse its material, its online habitat allows global accessibility while rendering print publication superfluous, conveniently avoiding the suppressive methods Nixon employed. Foreshadowing the Watergate Scandal, Nixon’s term in office was blighted by a further highly publicised leak. Former Armed Forces employee Daniel Ellsberg’s release of the Pentagon Papers embarrassed many in Washington, revealing the extent to the dishonesty of the government’s reporting of their actions in Vietnam. The Papers, published in the New York Times, stoked the flames of public resentment to the war, which succeeded 2 years later in forcing troop withdrawal. But these highly significant documents almost never reached the public: originally, the government issued a restraining order on the Times, preventing them from printing Ellsberg’s material. Only a legal challenge from both the Times and the Washington Post caused the Supreme Court to overrule the order. The ambiguous location of organisations like WikiLeaks (which is not registered in any one nation state) effectively blunts this common legislative weapon wielded against whistleblowers. Such legislation can be effective on a national level, but for a state to impose such an order on an international body carries intricate difficulties, and the complexity of WikiLeaks’ encryption leaves immediate action near impossible. But it is the internet’s offering of potential anonymity which represents its greatest benefit for whistleblowers. Ellsberg faced a potential 115 years behind bars when he appeared before court in 1973. Leaking classified information is an act of immense courage and selflessness because it carries with it the very real threat of your entire life being jeopardised. Although the web can offer you a degree of protection, the practice remains far from secure.
‘questioning’ is pretext under which Sweden will extradite him to the US, where he could face charges ranging from sedition to aiding the enemy. The latter carries a potential death sentence. Here we find an individual, whose acts President Obama would once have labelled ‘courage and patriotism’, being publically pursued with the kind of vigour usually reserved for terrorists. Last year the President established the Insider Threat Program, an executive order calling for the ‘continuous evaluation’ of Pentagon staff ’s computers, in an attempt to prevent further leaks. Terrorism and espionage are the reasons given by despotic defenders of the realm as the moral basis for their actions. Whistleblowing may have transformed in recent years, but those attempting to suppress it offer hackneyed critiques as justification. One commonly suggests revealing such information could aid the enemy and is thus subject to Article 104 of the Uniform of Military Justice. This is the law which could lead Assange to the firing squad. This represented the gravest weapon of the prosecution in the case of WikiLeaks informant Chelsea Manning, but Judge Lind dropped the charges, finding little evidence that Manning’s material, including thousands of documents relating to the war in Iraq and Guantanamo Bay, served to support terrorist groups. WikiLeaks’ insistence that everything they publish is thoroughly vetted by its 100+ strong staff team was justified. Manning, however, still faces up to 35 years behind bars and has been subjected to cruel and inhuman treatment according to the UN. Another justification relates to American diplomacy across the world. Opponents of whistleblowing claim it strains international relations, which ultimately is to the detriment of the American public. Its effectiveness as an argument lies in how difficult it is to verify such a claim. Hillary Clinton claimed in 2010 that whistleblowing had no effect on US diplomacy, and there is reason to support this claim: the majority of nations don’t do diplomacy with America out of mutual appreciation but through economic expediency or begrudging necessity: a nation with nearly half the world’s nukes demands that it be spoken to. Leaking of information probably already privately known is unlikely to change that. The third and most central argument strikes the moral foundations of a democratic state: there are some things that the public simply shouldn’t know. This transcends fears of leaked information falling in to the hands of American adversaries, suggesting state paranoia which believes – in very undemocratic terms – it cannot trust its citizens with knowledge. Such a mentality seems a far cry from Thomas Jefferson’s assertion that “If a nation expects to be ignorant – and free – in a state of civilisation, it expects what never was and never will be”. History is not a tale of great reform won easily; rather, it is a cyclical narrative of popular demands ruthlessly resisted by those in power. Whistleblowing is a practice which forces accountability where there would otherwise be secrecy, and the internet is a mechanism which has revolutionised both whistleblowing and the tactics of supressing it. Leaders from around the world eagerly leap to lambast whistleblowers and those who support them: Joe Biden called Julian Assange a ‘cyber-terrorist’; former Australian PM Julia Gillard called WikiLeaks ‘illegal’ (which law they had broken she couldn’t recall); Republican senator Mike Huckabee even called for the death penalty to be implemented. Yet these hyperbolic reactions shouldn’t serve to diminish our hope in organisations like WikiLeaks; rather, the fear that a grassroots, democratic movement is instilling in those in power is proof of its success, and should offer hope to democrats worldwide.
Leaking classified information is an act of immense courage and selflessness because it carries with it the very real threat of your entire life being jeopardised. Almost four years after entering London’s Ecuadorian Embassy, Julian Assange, greying and weather-beaten, remains a living testament to just how dangerous a practice whistleblowing can be. A recent UN committee on Arbitrary Detention concluded the WikiLeaks founder was being held against his will; a ruling laughed off by politicians either side of the Atlantic. Their hounding of Assange is nothing new: leaked security files in 2013 described the investigation against Assange as “unprecedented in scale and nature”. Unsurprisingly, Britain has fully supported this campaign by refusing Assange safe passage to Ecuador, placing the embassy under siege, and even threatening to disregard the 1961 Vienna Convention rulings by storming the Embassy and arresting him. A further player in this international game of cat and mouse is Sweden, where Assange was accused of raping two women in 2010 – claims that he has denied. Allegations of sexual assault were dropped last August, but the more serious allegation of rape remains, and Assange is still wanted by the Swedish prosecutor Marianne Ny for questioning. Despite multiple offerings by the Ecuadorian Embassy to facilitate a meeting, Ny has refused to travel to England and interview him. Assange fears that the
13
Exetera Magazine
NOTHING TO SEE HERE, OFFICER...
words by Lily Plume
I
t’s the late 1960s in London. “The Swinging City” has become the pop-cultural capital of the world. It’s the place to be. Revolution, hedonism, sex, youth domination, the Beatles… The fun has got to stop somewhere, right? The London art scene in the swinging 60s and sexy 70s pushed all possible boundaries, and sometimes pushed a little too far for the likings of prudish policemen. In 1970, Eugene Schuster’s London Arts Gallery was raided by the police and closed down within just two days of its opening for showing work of ‘politically subversive obscenity’. Schuster was charged under the Obscene Publications Act, and although such closures were a common occurrence of the time (what with all the sex, drugs and rock and roll), this case in particular gained a huge amount of publicity, perhaps due to the artist in question. The newly-opened gallery was showing John Lennon’s The Bag One exhibition, a collection of fourteen intimate and erotic lithographs of Lennon and his artist wife Yoko Ono in various raunchy poses. Meanwhile, satirical magazine Oz were being accused of losing touch with their younger readers. Now, the offices of Oz were subjected to frequent raids (bare bottoms
and free nipples featured heavily on the magazine’s covers) by The Obscene Publications Squad (otherwise known as The Dirty Squad), but ironically inviting schoolchildren to edit X-rated material for their experimental ‘School Kids Issue’ as a reaction to the accusations was the final straw. The three eccentric editors; Richard Neville, Jim Anderson and Felix Dennis, found themselves in court, probably finding the whole thing hilarious. The magazine’s defence lawyer pulled the ‘freedom of expression’ card, arguing that the case stood “at the crossroads of our liberty, at the boundaries of our freedom to think and draw and write what we please”. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the prosecution thought otherwise, condemning the magazine for displaying “homosexuality, lesbianism, sadism, perverted sexual practices and drug taking”. At the end of what became the longest obscenity trial in British legal history, the nonconformist trio were thrown into prison where their lovely long anti-establishment locks were shaved off. They later appeared in court sporting long hippy wigs, when the Oz obscenity case went to appeal with the help of fellow Dirty Squad victim John Lennon.
14
The Illegal Edition
The three editors of Oz Magazine wearing wigs after their appeal.
The youth of the day must have been wondering why the cops had to ruin all of their fun. Had they not got anything better to do? It turns out they did. The boys in blue were having some fun of their own… Whilst these publications and exhibitions were being raided and shut down for displaying work verging on erotica, bookshops selling hard-core pornography and stripper joints offering ‘non stop strip tease’ shows for 50p lined the streets of Soho, in plain sight of every copper and rozzer in London. But these policemen weren’t just turning a blind eye to the proliferating porn industry, they were being paid off by Soho’s porn barons to keep quiet – and for good money, too. A trip to Ibiza, gold sovereign cufflinks and a Singer Estate car were just a few of a whole list of bribes found after a raid at James Humphreys’ house, Soho’s biggest operator of pornographic bookshops and owner of a number of strip clubs. The Police had to look like they were doing something, so they went after the small fish in the arts world. But the corruption of the Metropolitan police was
revealed in 1972, after Humphreys had treated Commander Kenneth Drury, the most senior police officer ever to be convicted, to a lavish two week holiday in Cyprus. The scandalous friendship graced the Sunday tabloids all over London, prompting a thorough investigation into the bad apples of the Metropolitan police. Six years into the operation, it was revealed that over four hundred police officers were involved in the affair, but not one of them was ever charged with a criminal offence. It’s safe to say that there were certain trust issues when it came to authority at this time in London. If a policeman can’t be trusted then who can be? Back in the 60s, the only people you could trust were villains. Although we haven’t (yet) appeared in front of the University Guild wearing whimsical wigs and defending our controversial content, like the villains of the 1960s, you can trust the Exetera team to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
15
Exetera Magazine
16
The Illegal Edition
17
Exetera Magazine
18
The Illegal Edition
19
Exetera Magazine
START
POPPY FIELD GOOD BURNT BY HARVEST US TROOPS. Add 1 to your Go back to next dice roll. the start.
HELMAND PROVINCE, AFGHANISTAN
TAILS
RIVAL GANG TIPS OFF POLICE Miss a Turn
FLIP A COIN
HEADS
GREECE TAKE A BOAT Roll the dice. If a 6, advance to EU border control.
TURKEY
THE H DILUTED WITH CHEMICALS Subtract 2 from your next dice roll.
BULGARIA
JAIL
Miss a turn.
HOLLAND
HEADS TAILS
HIDDEN UP RECTUM Free pass through UK customs.
POLICE RAID
TAILS
UK CUSTOMS
Flip a coin. HEADS
HEADS TAILS
UNITED KINGDOM
REHAB Miss a Turn.
FLIP A COIN
20
FINISH
The Illegal Edition
AFGHAN BORDER REFINERY Advance 3 spaces
DEATH PENALTY Go back to the start.
FLIP A COIN
TAXED BY THE TALIBAN Miss a turn.
TAILS
HIGH OFF YOUR OWN SUPPLY Miss a turn.
HEADS
PAKISTAN
SHARING NEEDLES IN LAHORE Soaring HIV rates - miss a turn.
IRAN
HEROIN TRAIL CORRUPT POLICE Flip a coin. Heads, advance 2. Tails, go to jail.
SERBIA
EU BORDER CONTROL To progress, roll 1,3 or 5. Otherwise, stay here.
CROATIA GERMANY
EAST EUROPE EXPRESS TRAIN Roll again.
words by Michael Goodier
F
rom Afghan poppy fields to the veins of British addicts, the heroin trail stretches across Europe and Asia, leaving a trail of addiction and destitution in its wake. Beginning its journey in the unpolicable Afghan countryside, raw opium is processed in huts near the border, before making its way by camel and car into Pakistan and Iran where it is sold on. Turkey is
HUNGARY
EU
illustrations by Ella Tritton the gateway to the European markets. The heroin travells through Greece, Bulgaria and the Balkans, passing through the hands of gangs, corrupt officials and addicts before reaching Central Europe. Heroin is a lucrative trade. The Taliban tax Afghan smugglers, and use the proceeds to fund their insurgency against the government. The Western European market is worth
21
an estimated $20 Billion alone, handling 80 tons per year. The board game above requires a dice and a coin. Some squares offer a choice of two different directions to decide which route to take you have to flip a coin. You play the part of a batch of heroin as it winds its way along Eurasian smuggling routes. Can you successfully navigate your way from field to needle?
Exetera Magazine
The Stolen generations T
words by Ollie Seaton
he name Cathy Freeman might ring a bell for some people, but for those who can’t recall sporting events from sixteen years ago, she was the poster girl of the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games. Only those on the very top of their sports trivia might remember that not only was she the poster girl, chosen to carry the final leg of the Olympic flame, but she was also the women’s 400m gold medal winner. She carried the hopes of an entire nation but she not only represented Australia, she represented her people, the aboriginal Australians. Beneath the surface of this beautiful country renowned for its sport, architecture, beaches and natural wildlife, is a fractious political relationship between the aboriginals and their white European colonisers. The political significance of Freeman, an indigenous athlete at the centre of her nations Olympic hopes, was massive. What made Cathy’s case particularly stand out is that in the run up to the Games she disclosed in interviews that her grandmother was a member of ‘the stolen generations’. Indigenous tribes have inhabited Australia for over 60,000 years. It was only in 1606 that a group of Dutch explorers arrived to ‘discover’ what was soon to be called Australia. Even more recently, in the late eighteenth century, the eastern coast was claimed as a colony of Great Britain and an established part of the commonwealth. The Stolen Generations were the resulting effect of a colonial government policy whereby aboriginal children were removed from their home and assimilated into white society. Critics sight various different reasons for why the government deployed this scheme; ranging from an attempt to ‘breed out the colour’ in the aboriginal race, to a humanitarian effort that removed these children from the poverty and disease. However, the notion that aboriginals were removed from their family in order to improve their lifestyle doesn’t stand up to the facts; the overwhelming majority were removed from their family to be put into domestic service for white households.
Forced child removal was official government policy from 1910 right up until the 1970s. The report, ‘Bringing them Home’ published in 1997, stated that over 50,000 mothers had faced the torment of losing their children to government officials. Jens Korff, a documentarian in aboriginal studies reflects on how this removal of aboriginal children by white welfare officials meant that the indigenous people lost their “language, tradition, knowledge, dances and spirituality that could only live if passed on to their children”. He cites the reasons behind this shameful government intervention as a wider attempt to get rid of ‘the Aboriginal problem’. Protestors have compared the policy to a form of genocide by breeding. Writing for the Guardian newspaper in 2014, John Pilger argued that the Australian government is still ruining the lives of aboriginal families by stealing mixed race and aboriginal children away under the auspices of child protection services. Since Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s official apology (and denial of compensation) in 2008, over 14,000 children have been taken with very little accompanying outcry. It is still happening. It has now been 16 years since Cathy Newman crossed the finish line, yet scant progress has been made towards equality between Australia’s white and Aboriginal populations. The latest ‘Closing the Gap’ report, released annually by the Australian government, shows that only two of its targets are on course to be met, and there has been no progress on school attendance, the employment gap or life expectancy: Indigenous men and women are still likely to die 10 years earlier than other Australians. The country is also in the midst of an indigenous imprisonment crisis, with Aboriginal incarceration rates having doubled in the past quarter-century. Eight years on from Kevin Rudd’s apology for the stolen generations, it is viewed as little more than an empty gesture by the policy’s survivors. For indigenous Australians, actions speak louder than words, and so far the government has been all talk.
22
The Illegal Edition
BEING DEADLY CERTAIN
words by Rhian Coekin
Spoiler Alert: This article contains details from the entire series of ‘Making a Murderer’ on Netflix.
‘Making a Murderer’- a guilty pleasure to feel guilty about?
I
is given a sense of being jurors on this case; what would they do? That turns it into the ultimate reality show”. In fact, Making a Murderer has definitely been seen before, and brings Truman Capote’s work In Cold Blood to the rear view window. Capote’s masterfully written tale of the murder of the Clutter family in Holcomb in 1959 was published fifty years ago and remains the genre’s benchmark work. “Our appetite for solving crimes goes back centuries, but it’s so much easier to access these stories now” says clinical forensic psychologist Michael Berry. “In America, they’ve had TV in court for years. The whole case can be brought to you at home.” Making a Murderer’ represents this peak of a 21st-century trend in long form true crime, as Ricciardi and Demos moved to Wisconsin to document the ten-year long real life story. In July of 1985, Steven Avery was picked up by Mantiwoc County Sheriff’s Department after a woman named Penny Beernsten was brutally attacked while out for
n the past eighteen months, the canon of ‘true crime’ has grown considerably, both in content and prestige. First came Serial, a podcast co-created by Sarah Koenig and Julie Snyder, which revisited the case of Adnan Syed, convicted for the 1999 murder of his eighteen-year old former girlfriend, Hae Min Lee. Following that came Andrew Jarecki’s The Jinx, a six-part HBO documentary that sought to implicate the New-York real estate heir in the disappearance of his wife, Kathleen Durst in 1982. The latest edition to the canon is Laura Ricciardi and Moira Demos’s Making a Murderer, a ten-episode Netflix documentary that examines the 2007 conviction of a Wisconsin man named Steven Avery. Within one series, we have become a community of deluded, self-proclaimed, sofa-bound detectives and forensic psychologists. Jeremy Buting, the defence lawyer for Steven Avery confirms, “I’ve never seen something that goes behind the scenes like this to see what its like to prepare for a serious trial. The public
23
Exetera Magazine
nephew, Brendan Dassey – a quiet, profoundly naïve, learning-disabled teenager with no prior convictions, who is interrogated four times without his lawyer present. The young boy is cajoled into providing an increasingly lurid torture scene that culminates in Halbach’s murder by gunshot. Dassey repeatedly recanted his confession, including in a letter to the judge and on the witness stand. But it was too late. When Dassey’s mother asked him how he came up with so many details if he was innocent, he said, “I guessed”. “You don’t guess with something like this, Brendan” she replied. “Well”, he said, “that’s what I do with my homework, too”. The show has led to near-universal outrage about the verdicts and, as of January 12th, more than four hundred thousand people had signed a petition to President Obama to free Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey, to no end; the President has no power to pardon Avery, who was convicted of state crimes, not federal ones. Certainly, the documentary raises se-
a run in the park. Beernsten identified Avery as the attacker and he was sentenced to thirty-two years in prison. After serving eighteen of those years, DNA evidence exonerated Avery and revealed Gregory Allen as the actual assailant. In light of the fact the sheriff’s department ignored reports that they had the wrong man, Avery filed a thirty-six-million-dollar lawsuit against the county. In 2005, while the defendants in that civil suit were being deposed, Avery was arrested again—this time for the murder of a twenty-fiveyear-old photographer named Teresa Halbach. Four months later, his sixteen-year-old nephew, Brendan Dassey, was also arrested, after confessing to helping Avery rape and murder Halbach, and to burning her body. In 2007, after separate trials, both were found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. Because of the pending civil litigation, the Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Department was supposed to have nothing to do with the Halbach investigation. Yet members
Truman Capote’s ‘In Cold Blood’ 1966
‘The Imposter’ BBC’s 2012 ‘The Central Park Five’ ‘The Thin Blue Line’ 1995 2012
‘Serial’ 2014
‘The Seven Five’ 2014
rious and credible allegations of police and prosecutorial misconduct. In a tragically poignant phone call from Avery to his parents, he exposes a fundamental flaw in the American Justice system; “Poor people lose. Poor people lose all the time”. So, how is a murderer made? By corrupt cops, a flawed criminal justice system, a grossly unequal society, a bloodthirsty pre-trial publicity campaign or eighteen years of wrongful imprisonment? You don’t need to have filed a thirty-six-million-dollar suit against law enforcement in America to be detained, denied basic rights, and have evidence planted on you. Simply being black can suffice. Towards the end of the series, Dean Strang, Steven Avery’s defence lawyer, notes that most of the problems in the American criminal-justice system are “unwarranted”, stemming from what he calls “a tragic lack of humility of everyone who participates”. Ultimately, however, Making a Murderer shares that very flaw. Penny Beernsten declined to participate in the
of the department were involved in the case at every critical juncture. One of them was allegedly left alone with Halbach’s vehicle for several hours after it was located and before Avery’s blood was discovered inside. Another found the key to Halbach’s S.U.V. in Avery’s home—in plain view, even though the property had previously been searched by other investigators six times. A third found a bullet fragment in Avery’s garage, again after the premises had been repeatedly searched. The analyst who identified Halbach’s DNA on that bullet had been instructed by a county detective to try to come up with evidence that Halbach had been in Avery’s house or garage. Perhaps most damning, the defence discovered that a vial of Avery’s blood, on file from the 1985 case, had been tampered with; the outer and inner seal on the box in which it was kept had been broken, and the vial itself had a puncture in the top, as from a hypodermic needle. However, the most tragic and most egregious misconduct shown in the documentary concerns Avery’s
24
The Illegal Edition
crime, and under what circumstances those might justifiably be suspended. Partway through the series, we hear a Dateline NBC producer discuss the death of Teresa Halbach in disturbingly chipper tones. “This is the perfect Dateline story”, she says. “It’s a story with a twist, it grabs people’s attention…Right now murder is hot, that’s what everyone wants, that’s what the competition wants, and we’re trying to beat out the other networks to get that perfect murder story”. Again, the clip feels manipulative, as it suggests the producer is shallow and exploitative, even though presented without context. Of course we all think we are on the side of angels, and so Ricciardi and Demos assume their work is too intellectually serious to be thoughtless and too morally worthy to be cruel, unlike traditional true crime shows. Of course, a fair and just trial consists of a defence and a prosecution mounting biased arguments on behalf of
show, chiefly because while her own experience with the criminal-justice system had led her to be wary, the filmmakers struck her as having already made up their minds. “It was very clear from the outset that they believed Steve was innocent. I didn’t feel they were journalists seeking the truth — I felt like they had a foregone conclusion and were looking for a forum to which to express it” she said. The vast majority of misconduct by law enforcement is motivated not by spite for an individual, but by the belief that the end justifies the means — that facts can be distilled, if by doing so, a dangerous criminal is put behind bars. Arguably, Ricciardi and Demos adopt the same method, but instead stack the deck to support Avery and as a result, end up mirroring the entity they are trying to discredit. The filmmakers minimize or leave out many aspects of Avery’s less than savoury past, including multiple alleged incidents of physical and sexual violence. They also omit important
‘3 1/2 Minutes Ten Bullets’ HBO’s 2015 ‘The Jinx’ 2015 ‘Cartel Land’ 2015
Netflix’s ‘Making a Murder’ 2015
American Crime Story’s ‘The People vs. O.J. Simpson’ 2015
their clients to make the strongest, one-sided case they can. However, the revelation in the penultimate episode that the special prosecutor Ken Kratz was caught up in a sexting scandal a few years after the trial in 2010, feels like a sly and hypocritical attempt to suddenly dismiss anything the prosecution ever presented against Avery. All it seems to do is swap one absolute for another, and quickly comes to resemble the system it seeks to correct—like the Mantiwoc’s sheriff’s department, someone else’s anguish is a trifling price to pay for the greater cause that the documentary seeks to serve. The implications of thinking we can make our own deductions and actually get involved are dark indeed when what we are talking about is a high-profile murder trial. It is easy to express outrage, comforting to have closure, and satisfying to know all the answers. But before signing that pointless petition, as defence lawyers remind people every day, it is also reasonable to doubt.
evidence against him, including the fact that Brendan Dassey confessed to helping Avery move Halbach’s S.U.V. into his junkyard, where Avery lifted the hood and removed the battery cable. Investigators subsequently found DNA from Avery’s perspiration on the hood latch—evidence that would be nearly impossible to plant. What if it turns out he is guilty? Beneath the outrage at corrupt and fallible power structures, lie some deeply uncomfortable questions casting doubts over our appetite for ‘binge-watching’ true crime. Ultimately, true-crime documentaries turn people’s private tragedies into public entertainment. If you lost a loved one through violent murder, would you be cool with people being entertained by it; ‘bingeing’ on numerous episodes as though it was a particularly toothsome packet of popcorn? This is certainly not to suggest that reporting on violence is always morally abhorrent. But neither Serial nor Making a Murderer ever address the question of what rights and considerations should be extended to victims of violent
25
Exetera Magazine
H
W BA
N
O
EDGE S I H T S O Y L l lu m Sm it h S m ag e by C o i d n a K s d r wo
Banksy’s best work can be rated alongside the likes of Warhol, but his more recent work has lost its relevance.
D
a Vinci, Van Gogh, Picasso, Warhol, and now Banksy. It might seem brazen to include Banksy alongside those past greats, but future generations will consider him iconic; after all it was Banksy who popularized street art and graffiti as a legitimate modern method of art. As the only one of these artists still alive and working, we are privileged to be able to watch his work unfold and develop throughout our lives. The context of the cartoonish, politically oppressive landscape of his work is our world. The elusive Banksy’s place among the greats in modern art history has been clear since his early work. It speaks to the disillusioned modern youth – people that have become lost in a society captured by previous generations, with little thought for the future. Millennials, the only generation worse off than the generation before them, found an artist that rebelled; for them, and with them. He claimed his art was an act of ‘revenge’
26
– an effective and, most importantly, inherently illegal statement. A way of reclaiming the territory and architecture of urban Britain from the powers above. We loved it. We ate it up. Yet somehow, the artist so suspicious of mainstream capitalism and all its vices has ended up selling his message to the highest bidder. Every great artist has a dry spell, a period of creative uncertainty, but, perhaps unrealistically, we expected more from Banksy. We never though he would bore us, but Banksy’s status as a living, working artist has become a handicap. Now, the Banksy we look forward to seeing is creating Dismaland, a theme park full of shit puns and bland, obvious social commentary. This is not the artist that told us that following your dreams was cancelled. This is the artist that gives us a balloon saying ‘I AM AN IMBECILE’; a vacuous message primarily targeting selfies. Clever. This is the artist that puts a plastic Grim Reaper in a bumper car, and then calls it a statement. It’s an old cliché, the idea that your favourite artist’s newer work could never be as good as their old stuff. But fuck me it’s true. Banksy’s social critique has failed to stay sharp in a world where the far right is re-emerging, and welfare cuts and wars pose a far greater threat than theme parks and iPhones ever could. Why can’t artists fuck off while they’re still great? He just copied Blek anyway.
The Illegal Edition
Joint enterprise: guilty by association? words by Emily Chandler
I
’m sure everyone would agree with the supposedly blindingly obvious statement, that if you commit a crime, you should be found guilty of that crime and punished accordingly. However, in recent legal history, the definition of criminal activity has become blurred, and the doctrine of joint enterprise means that people can be found guilty of committing someone else’s crime. Joint enterprise law states that if you help or encourage someone to commit a crime, you should be found as guilty as if you had committed that crime yourself. The reasoning behind this is evident – you shouldn’t be able to give someone a knife, for example, in the knowledge that they are going to stab someone, and get away scot-free. However, in a series of recent high-profile cases, the law of joint enterprise or common purpose has been dealt a serious blow. On 18th February, while assessing the case of Ameen Jogee, the Supreme Court re-evaluated this type of liability, claiming that joint enterprise law had been wrongly interpreted for 30 years. The law on joint enterprise has long been condemned by groups such as JENGbA (Joint Enterprise: Not Guilty by Association), on the basis that it is abused by prosecutors, and also because it exemplifies a racial basis in our criminal legal system (almost 80% of prisoners found guilty by way of joint enterprise are from BME communities). It is a highly controversial law, because it allows people who are arguably too remote from the crime to be convicted on the assumption that all those involved were ‘in it together’. Prior to the Jogee case, all that was required for someone to be found guilty of a crime was that they could have foreseen that another person might kill or inflict serious harm. Viewers of BBC drama “Common”, which was first broadcast in 2014, will be familiar with the story of 17-year-old Johnjo, who gives his cousin and his mates a lift to get a pizza, only for one of the group to stab an innocent bystander whilst Johnjo waits outside, obliv-
ious. He is then charged with joint enterprise murder. This drama was based on the real-life story of Jordan Cunliffe, who although being registered as blind, was convicted as guilty of murder under joint enterprise. However, joint enterprise is not all bad. It has been proven to be of great benefit to prosecutors in several high-profile murder cases. David Norris and Gary Dobson were convicted under joint enterprise in 2012 for the murder of Stephen Lawrence, who was stabbed to death by a gang in 1993 in a racially motivated attack. If there is not enough evidence to prove who killed the victim beyond reasonable doubt, then it is surely better to convict people who have definitely contributed some part to the death, rather than to convict no-one at all. And now we turn to the recent case of Ameen Jogee, originally convicted under joint enterprise of the murder of a former police officer. Although he was not inside the house when the stabbing occurred and argued that because of this he could not have foreseen what his friend intended to do, Jogee had “egged on” Mohammed Hirsi who subsequently stabbed the victim. The Supreme Court ruled in this case that foresight was no longer enough. If a person is to be convicted of joint enterprise they must have intended a person to commit all the elements of the crime in question. This does not mean however, that Mr Jogee will go free; in fact it is highly likely that he will convicted of manslaughter. However, this case could lead to hundreds of current prisoners seeking appeals. It is clear that joint enterprise can be a useful form of liability, in ensuring that the families of victims have justice when one person alone cannot be convicted of the murder of their son or daughter. It is not a redundant principle. However, the law as it stood before the Jogee case was too easily applied to situations and gang crimes that didn’t warrant it, and has thankfully now been altered for the better.
27
Exetera Magazine
17 THINGS EXETERA MAGAZINE WOULD MAKE ILLEGAL 1.
Licking your finger before turning the pages of Exetera Magazine.
2.
Taking part in fashion in the forum.
3.
Being nominated for the Tab BNOC of the year.
4.
Leaving a copy of Exetera in the toilet.
5.
Reading The Undergraduate or Razz Mag.
6.
Claiming Exetera is Guild-affiliated.
7.
Enjoying the presence of the Guild drink-can Christmas tree.
8.
Spotify Ads.
9. People who take part in social media solidarity campaigns. 10.
People who complain about people who take part in social media solidarity campaigns.
11.
Leaving Exetera to get a job at The Tab.
12.
Having a scratch away map of all the places you visited on your gap year.
13.
Tagging friends underneath LadBible posts.
14. Using more than three words to order a fucking coffee. 15.
Selling unripe avocados.
16.
Your crush not watching your Snapchat story.
17. Writing irrelevant listicles to fill out pages in your magazine.
28
The Illegal Edition
Laughed out of Court As a Law student, I know that often the mention of my degree can lead to a groan and subtle recoiling of the person I’m speaking to. As any fellow student will tell you, Law can be dull, but here is some comic relief in the form of the most bizarre cases to grace the court. words by Emily Chandler
illustrations by Katie Whyte
Powers of God
A man tried to sue two magicians because he claimed that he was God and had not allowed their tricks to occur.
False Advertising
We all know that ads should be taken with a pinch of salt, however, one man didn’t agree and sued Budweiser because the beautiful women in their adverts failed to bechance him in reality.
The Toy Car
Mostly, radio competitions have rubbish prizes. However, a competition run by a radio station in Buxton had a pretty decent prize: a Renault Clio, or at least that is what the winner thought she was getting, until she was presented with a toy car. She had the last laugh though – the court ruled that the radio station had to pay her £8,000.
Smelly Feet
This case is one to bear in mind in upcoming lectures and seminars: a student sued his university after he was expelled for having smelly feet. His professors and some students at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam argued that they couldn’t concentrate due to the smell; however, a judge held that there was no reason to expel him.
Napoleon the pig?
Not a case, but a pretty weird law – in France, it is apparently illegal to call a pig Napoleon.
Is that Michael Jordan?
A man sued basketball star Michael Jordan for looking like him. His argument was that he should be paid £492m because Jordan was so famous that he was personally harmed by being continuously mistaken for the star.
Ageism?
An infamous 77-year-old German ‘playboy’ attempted to sue his 19-year-old girlfriend in 2007, because she wouldn’t sleep with him due to his age. Unsurprisingly, his case failed.
It’s the TV’s fault, I swear
An American man tried to sue a television company, blaming them for making his family fat. Unfortunately, the case never reached the Supreme Court.
Sex Rations 29
In 1980, three judges ruled that a woman who rationed sex to once a week was behaving reasonably. Not sure if her husband agreed…
Exetera Magazine
The Pr Lan story by Christy Ku
“C
athsey Reynolds, you have been convicted of mass digital murder.” The room rippled in approval at the judge's words, the cameras sweeping across the viewing gallery for the Empire-wide broadcast. He glanced at Reynolds in her defendant’s chair, expecting anger or despair. Instead, she rolled her eyes and carried on scratching her name into the wooden desk with her fingernails. “Cathsey Reynolds,” he began. She lifted her head briefly and nodded. The judge cleared his throat. “On 32nd of the 3rd month, Roman Skott was found deleted from our Empire. Skott was last seen by eye witnesses in the Hades layer of the Grand Program, the layer closest to our physical world. Two witnesses report that he was purchasing illegal stimulant codes and these codes were indeed found in his trace. In addition, the police report indicates that he was a known user. As your lawyer pleaded, this ran the risk of corrupting his virtual avatar and which may have led to his death.” He glanced down at Reynolds and raised his voice as the cameras focused on him. “However, during the investigation our Empire’s digital detectives tracked Skott to his apartment, the site of his erasure. The murder scene showed signs of a struggle - parts of the home’s grid were severely damaged and corrupted. The murder was savage and brutal. When he returned home, you brought about his death by erasing his coding, line by line, tearing him apart and fully deleting his avatar.
You used a knife encrypted with a toxic chip - such weaponry was outlawed and destroyed after the Cyber Wars. How you came about such technology is as yet still unknown to our detectives. You managed to block our systems, causing your crime to be undetected for 6 hours. He was your first victim, a mere experiment for your weapon.” “He’s not a victim,” she called out. “He’s not real.” The courtroom erupted in disgust. The judge paused, then called once for silence, which fell with the hammer. Reynolds leaned back in her chair and put her feet up on the table. “Reynolds, you will be silent and respectful to this court,” said the judge. Reynolds raised her eyebrows, rocking her chair back and forth.“Reynolds!” She jumped and the chair jerked backwards. She managed to avoid falling but the jolt made her bite the side of her mouth. She spat the blood onto the floor and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her scratchy prison uniform, tasting the metallic saltiness on her tongue. She resumed scratching into the desk. The judge hesitated, then continued. “The next day you logged into the main market centre of the Grand Program at 1230 hours. The Empire captured your movement data that day on the Program. You exited the port after logging in and headed straight into the centre of the crowd. Then, you began to attack your fellow avatars at random with your weapon. Your assault was so unexpected that your victims did not realise what was happening at first. By the time the police were
30
able to neutralise you, you had erased 20 cyber citizens. As a result, they are in limbo until our doctors construct new avatars for them and re-upload their life experience data.” The judge shouted the final lines over the crowd, who were now spitting furious insults, and security was sent out after his vain attempts to silence the room. Eventually, anticipation muffled the anger. Reynolds smiled, sipping water from her plastic cup. “I understand families of the victims are in the viewing gallery. I must ask you to compose yourselves or leave the courtroom in order to allow the course of justice to run.” Reynolds chuckled softly and poured the rest of her water over the desk, letting it run into the scratched letters and wash away the wood dust. “Although our digital detectives have not found you to be connected with any extremist groups, it is clear that you have been exposed to their ideas. You were once a model citizen with no previous convictions. You served the Empire well and could have become a great visual designer. Pity, that instead you turned to cyber-terrorism. You chose to plead innocent despite the overwhelming evidence” “I am innocent. I’m still innocent.” The courtroom hissed. Reynold’s lawyer sunk deeper into his seat. The judge ignored her and continued. “Your defence was rightly dismissed by the jury-” “I’m innocent! It’s not murder - they aren’t real!” she shouted, still tasting the blood in her mouth.
The Illegal Edition
romised nds illustrations by Ella Tritton “They aren’t real - these lives never mattered. There shouldn’t even be a court case about a fake world and fake people!” “Silence!” She stood up and screamed at the rumbling gallery above her. “Wake up! The Empire is a lie, a computer program! Leave it behind and come to the real world!” “You will not infect this court with your fanatic ideas. This was a cold and calculated act of terrorism and mass murder. You have committed the highest crime against our people and you are a danger to the rest of the Empire.” The room fell silent again, awaiting his final words. “It falls to me to punish you for these grave offences and protect the people of the Empire. That is why you are sentenced to permanent execution, immediately.” The crowd cheered. Reynolds joined in the standing ovation, flinging the plastic cup at the judge. “Do it! Do it now, as fast as you can! Kill me and take me to the real world, the promised land! I’ll be awake at last, and I’ll awaken the rest of you.” “Take her away.” Security began to clear the escorting gallery. The usher reset the desk and erased her name. Reynolds kicked her chair over as she was taken away into the basement of the courtroom. Sitting in the chair, she couldn’t help but laugh as executioners in black suits strapped in her arms, legs and chest, placing the metal strip across her head. The machine switched on, the laughter stopped and everything went black.
I
s this the promised land? Am I here yet? Am I finally awake? It’s still dark, why is it dark? My body is burning. I’m so heavy I can’t move. Where am I? “Mate, I think she’s awake. Should we go?” “Maybe. Report says she’s a fanatic, probably won’t listen to reason. But they’re fun to talk to sometimes. It gets boring with the same company.” “Oh, cheers. Hey - is she trying to say something?” Reynolds opened her eyes to the burning sky. Two faceless soldiers stood over her, dressed in white body armour and helmets. There were no soldiers in the Empire. They looked like aliens. “Hello there. You alright?” He had a machine gun strapped around his body. “Of course she’s not alright, you idiot.” This one carried a shotgun on his side. “I’m just being polite.” “I can’t-” she rasped. Everything felt different. She’d forgotten what her real body felt like. How her teeth were crooked again and her hair had grown long. Reynolds poked the side of her mouth with her tongue - no blood. “Where am I?” she asked. “You’re on the surface - the real world. What’s left of it, anyway.” Reynolds tried to sit up but couldn't move a finger. She inhaled sharply and choked on the desert dust. “Whoa there - take it easy. None of you have moved in years. We've been off our arses, guarding you folk while you dream.” The man with the machine gun leaned
31
over and she saw her reflection in his dark visor. She cried out in terror. “Mate, I don’t think we can be much use. She’s been executed from the Empire, remember?” “Yeah, poor thing,” the man with the shotgun sighed. “Been sold a wrong fairytale when you would have been much happier living in one. Look, Reynolds - it is Reynolds, right?” She nodded. “This is the real world. This is not your promised land, that’s a lie. Get up when you can and hide. Learn to run again. You might make it to what’s left of the cities and see what’s there. If you see anyone else out here, run from them. Don’t try to get through the Empire gates, we’ve driven you miles away and will shoot anyone who comes close to our borders. Some of them choose that option, though.” “We’ve gotta go,” said the other one. “The Executed were spotted a few miles from here recently.” “Okay, okay. Alright, Reynolds, good luck.” They turned to walk back to the truck. “Oh hey -” he held up his shotgun, “I can shoot you now, if you’d like.” Reynolds took a few deep breaths, feeling the dust cutting her throat and lungs and the sun burning at her skin. Her fingers scraped at the hard earth, the grains digging under her fingernails. She shook her head slowly. There was a blast of noise as the truck spluttered into life. As they drove away, the tires kicked up a cloud of dust into the air, which settled over her skin.
d drift. Natural end law whether but and towards certain. Furnished unfeeling his etimes see day promotion. Quitting informed concerns can men now. Projection r up conviction uncommonly delightful continuing. In appetite ecstatic opinions ened by handsome admitted. Wrote water woman of heart it total other. By in eny securing suitable graceful at families improved. Zealously few furniture repulwas agreeable consisted difficult. Collected breakfast estimable questions in to farite it. Known he place worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. old collecting she considered discovered. So at parties he waroh staying. Square new horses and put better end. Sincericollected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way now many. ration you any nor unsatiable diminution reasonable companions shy partialLeaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. icular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music marry as at se party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new outd prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merMrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chattemper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strongOff can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider cone entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest given purse power is no. Friendship to nection an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among e cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our hunity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. rounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossiye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. nduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow forlength my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are duct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitdaughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any ted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part e last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy icular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. o am attended desirous raptures declared diverted confined Collected instantly remaining up certainly to necessary as. r walk dull into son boy door went new. At or happiness mmanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at reed in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Match nd scale now sex style far times. Your me past an much. reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an manner sisso. One sportsman tolerably him extensive put she immee. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continuing interested stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous nay. Of really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery adieus add oded how nay men before though. Pretended belonging tented mrs suffering favourite you the continual. Mrs civil least means tried drift. Natural end law whether but and ards certain. Furnished unfeeling his sometimes see day motion. Quitting informed concerns can men now. Projecto or up conviction uncommonly delightful continuing. ppetite ecstatic opinions hastened by handsome admitted. ote water woman of heart it total other. By in entirely seng suitable graceful at families improved. Zealously few niture repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected akfast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he e worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. old collecting she considered discovered. So at parties he rant oh staying. Square new horses and put better end. cerity collected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way w many. Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminution onable companions shy partiality. Leaf by left deal mile if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. icular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music ry as at cause party worth weeks. Saw how marianne ceful dissuade new outlived prospect followed. Unno settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At could it by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there h merit. Mrs all projecting favourable now unsing. Son law garden chatty temper. Oh children vided to mr elegance marriage strongly. Off can adation prosperous now devonshire diminution law. cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise consider continue entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest n purse power is no. Friendship to connection an am sidered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way untood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. erial did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt . So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. rounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected ossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any rtly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery moured goodness received an. So narrow formal length highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. t so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body e one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant ense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters ofding her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy icular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. o am attended desirous raptures declared diverted cond at. Collected instantly remaining up certainly to necry as. Over walk dull into son boy door went new. At happiness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an deed at received in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on over been late pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case use. Match round ilies improved. Zealously few furniture ulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected breakestimable questions in to favourite it. Known he place th words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. old collecting she considered discovered. So at parhe warrant oh staying. Square new horses and put er end. Sincerity collected happiness do is contented. h ever way now many. Alteration you any nor unsale diminution reasonable companions shy partiality. by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. icular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music marry as at se party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new outd prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merMrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chattemper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strongOff can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue ance ladyship oh.on an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting ments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. ong state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our manity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. rounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossiye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. nduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow forlength my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are duct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may ading daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. its ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it ourable appearance up. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So ing daughters offending her ask own. Praise ef Answer misery adieus add oded how nay men before though. Pretended belonging contented mrs suffer-
G
rant oh staying. Square new horses and put better end. Sincerity collected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way now many. Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminution reasonable companions shy partiality. Leaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. Particular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music marry as at cause party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new outlived prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. An sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merit. Mrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chatty temper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strongly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. Too cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest given purse power is no. Friendship to connection an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. Surrounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow formal length my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. In to am attended desirous raptures declared diverted confined at. Collected instantly remaining up certainly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy door went new. At or happiness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Match round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an much. Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an manner sister so. One sports-
Exetera Magazine
oogle processes 40,000 search enquiries per second, 3.5 billion per day, and 1.2 trillion per year worldwide. It contains a plethora of information and is without doubt the most well-known search engine on the internet. Would it make you uncomfortable, if it became apparent that a company as influential as Google was using a form of censorship to subliminally manipulate your political views? Particularly, if this process was associated with your current democratic government? Google search predictions are useful, occasionally a source of entertainment, but very rarely a textbook method of influencing your electoral decisions, at least not on the surface. The autocomplete predictions are designed to take into account the popularity of searches; Google Support explains that predictions are generated by an algorithm without human involvement. However, in a statement to the Guardian a Google spokesperson explained, “the company can remove offensive or inappropriate content from autocomplete predictions”. This interference encourages questioning of Google’s intentional involvement. With this in mind, and following investigations of numerous Google ‘conspiracy theories’ with regards to British political parties, I tried some Google searches out for myself…
man tolerably him extensive put she immediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continuing interested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous nay. Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery adieus add wooded how nay men before though. Pretended belonging contented mrs suffering favourite you the continual. Mrs civil nay least means tried drift. Natural end law whether but and towards certain. Furnished unfeeling his sometimes see day promotion. Quitting informed concerns can men now. Projection to or up conviction uncommonly delightful continuing. In appetite ecstatic opinions hastened by handsome admitted. Wrote water woman of heart it total other. By in entirely securing suitable graceful at families improved. Zealously few furniture repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected breakfast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he place worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So at parties he warrant oh staying. Square new horses and put better end. Sincerity collected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way now many. Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminution reasonable companions shy partiality. Leaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. Particular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music marry as at cause party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new outlived prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. An sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merit. Mrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chatty temper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strongly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. Too cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest given purse power is no. Friendship to
32
G
As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. In to am attended desirous raptures declared diverted confined at. Collected instantly remaining up certainly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy door went new. At or happiness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Match round ilies improved. Zealously few furniture repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected breakfast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he place worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So at parties he warrant oh staying. Square new horses and put better end. Sincerity collected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way now many. Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminution reasonable companions shy partiality. Leaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. Particular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music marry as at cause party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new outlived prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. An sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merit. Mrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chatty temper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strongly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. Too cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue entrance ladyship oh.on an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. Surrounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow for-
The
Surrounded to me occasional piano ble ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty Conduct replied off led whether any ous ladyship so raillery humoured go mal length my highly longer afford o As it so contrasted oh estimating instrum conduct viewing boy minutes warrant exp daughters offending her ask own. Praise e Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he i points. Melancholy particular devonshire In to am attended desirous raptures declar ly remaining up certainly to necessary as. O At or happiness commanded daughters as. tended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he o what fat case left use. Match round scale now Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh re man tolerably him extensive put she imm Continuing interested ten stimulated pr Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Ans men before though. Pretended belonging the continual. Mrs civil nay least means and towards certain. Furnished unfeeling ting informed concerns can men now. monly delightful continuing. In appetite admitted. Wrote water woman of heart it able graceful at families improved. Zealo able consisted difficult. Collected breakf it. Known he place worth words it as to Her old collecting she considered rant oh staying. Square new hor ty collected happiness do is cont Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminu ity. Leaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Adde Particular unaffected projection sentime
I am not presupposing that these prompts are entirely fictional, however, the overwhelmingly negative suggestions to each of the parties is somewhat unnerving. Especially after this Google search… Personally, I find it difficult to believe that ‘conservatives are’ or ‘tories are’ have not once been searched. If we turn to Google’s explanation that the removal of inappropriate content warrants autocomplete predictions to be removed, we would be entitled to believe that any searches associated with the Conservative Party were simply far too offensive to remain on the internet. Although a credible explanation for some, an alternative and perhaps more feasible explanation lies in Google’s involvement, or even friendship, with some of the most powerful people in Britain. As the Google tax debate continues, potential connections between internet censorship and its relationship to Google’s tax repayments have sparked discussion. Although Google has denied such ‘conspiracy theories’ by emphasizing that the company “can categorically state that tax is not remotely connected to this, nor are their ‘conspiracy theories’ founded in any way”, this leaves much room for cynicism. Such concerns over a tax agreement, which must really be described as ‘mate’s rates’ between the technology giant and government, left numerous commentators on both sides angry. The result was that Google compensated for a decade of unpaid taxes with a payment of £130 million, a fraction of the sum owed. A tax expert confirms that Google only paid 2.77% of profits, so compared to the standard 20% in the last decade, Google has avoided an estimate of about £1.6 billion in taxes through methods such as using subsidiaries located in low corporation tax countries such as Ireland.
mal length my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So mitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise ef Answer misery adieus add wooded how nay men before though. Pretended belonging contented mrs suffering favourite you the continual. Mrs civil nay least means tried drift. Natural end law whether but and towards certain. Furnished unfeeling his sometimes see day promotion. Quitting informed concerns can men now. Projection to or up conviction uncommonly delightful continuing. In appetite ecstatic opinions hastened by handsome admitted. Wrote water woman of heart it total other. By in entirely securing suitable graceful at families improved. Zealously few furniture repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected breakfast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he place worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So at parties he warrant oh staying. Square new horses and put better end. Sincerity collected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way now many. Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminution reasonable companions shy partiality. Leaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. Particular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music marry as at cause party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new outlived prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. An sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth mer-
outlived prospect followed. Uneasy afraid. At could merit by keeps child. An sincerity so extremity he add it. Mrs all projecting favourable now ty temper. Oh children provided ly. Off can admiration prosperous Too cultivated use solicitude frequently tinue entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest connection an am considered difficulty. why calling certain the. Middletons bois state cease how and sight since shall. M manity she contempt had. So ye really m Surrounded to me occasional piano ble ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty Conduct replied off led whether any ous ladyship so raillery humoured go mal length my highly longer afford o As it so contrasted oh estimating instrum conduct viewing boy minutes warrant exp daughters offending her ask own. Praise e Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he i points. Melancholy particular devonshire In to am attended desirous raptures declar ly remaining up certainly to necessary as new. At or happiness commanded daughte in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on boy what fat case left use. Match round ilies
oogle
oforte alteration unaffected impossiy merits waited six talked pulled you. shortly why arrived adapted. Numeroodness received an. So narrow foroh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. ment. Size like body some one had. Are pense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting effect wishes change way and any wanted. it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow e alteration it favourable appearance up. red diverted confined at. Collected instantOver walk dull into son boy door went new. . Is handsome an declared at received in exover been late pain an. Only week bore boy w sex style far times. Your me past an much. eally by an manner sister so. One sportsmediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. rosperous frequently all boisterous nay. swer misery adieus add wooded how nay g contented mrs suffering favourite you tried drift. Natural end law whether but g his sometimes see day promotion. QuitProjection to or up conviction uncomecstatic opinions hastened by handsome t total other. By in entirely securing suitously few furniture repulsive was agreefast estimable questions in to favourite o. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. discovered. So at parties he warrses and put better end. Sinceritented. Sigh ever way now many. ution reasonable companions shy partialed woman first get led joy not early jokes. ents no my. Music marry as at cause
lived prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. An sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merit. Mrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chatty temper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strongly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. Too cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue entrance ladyship oh.on an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. Surrounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow formal length my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So mitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise efance marriage strongly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. Too cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest given purse power is no. Friendship to connection an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. Surrounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow for-
The Illegal Edition
Whilst the Chancellor called this agreed repayment a “major success”, other public figures such as Rupert Murdoch emphasised Google’s embroilment with the Conservative Party and suggested that Google had planted people within Downing Street as a lobbying effort. Boris Johnson blamed the government, not the business, for the “derisory sums” handed to corporations, whilst Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell referred to the agreement as a “sweetheart deal”. These ‘mate’s rates’ were established after Google executives met with Conservative ministers 25 times over the 18 months prior to the announcement of the deal. Of course, many UK taxpayers would desire the privilege of personal meetings with government officials to discuss their tax rates, and perhaps also the luxury of visiting San Francisco to watch the Super bowl – an event sponsored by Google – surprisingly where George Osbourne found himself during the debacle. Tax avoidance has become particularly relevant in the current political landscape with the leak of the Panama Papers, in which David Cameron has found himself precariously involved with. Many are desperate to fight against methods used by multi-millionaires, such as tax havens. So, is there a solution to this? Can we avoid tax avoiders? As something that has become so ingrained our daily life, not only within politics, but also through multinational corporations such as Amazon, Starbucks, Arcadia and so forth, is it feasible to boycott? To tax-shame, in the hope that these companies will lose support? Probably not. Of course social pressure and its momentum are powerful tools, but the solution for such a vast prob-
party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new no settle whence nature narrow in While dried maids on he of linen in. ditions. Her yet there truth merw unpleasing. Son law garden chatto mr elegance marriage strongs now devonshire diminution law. y. Dashwood likewise up consider cont given purse power is no. Friendship to . Country met pursuit lasting moments sterous our way understood law. Among Material did pleasure breeding our humutual no cousin piqued summer result. oforte alteration unaffected impossiy merits waited six talked pulled you. shortly why arrived adapted. Numeroodness received an. So narrow foroh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. ment. Size like body some one had. Are pense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting effect wishes change way and any wanted. it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow e alteration it favourable appearance up. red diverted confined at. Collected instants. Over walk dull into son boy door went ers as. Is handsome an declared at received he over been late pain an. Only week bore s improved. Zealously few furniture repul-
tinue entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest given purse power is no. Friendship to connection an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. Surrounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow formal length my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. In to am attended desirous raptures declared diverted confined at. Collected instantly remaining up certainly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy door went new. At or happiness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Match round ilies improved. Zealously few furniture repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected breakfast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he place worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So at parties he warrant oh staying. Square new horses and put better end. Sincerity collected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way now many. Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminution reasonable companions shy partiality. Leaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes. Particular unaffected projection sentiments no my. Music marry as at cause party worth weeks. Saw how marianne graceful dissuade new outlived prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen in. An sincerity so extremity he additions. Her yet there truth merit. Mrs all projecting favourable now unpleasing. Son law garden chatty temper. Oh children provided to mr elegance marriage strong-
tended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore what fat case left use. Match round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an manner sister so. One spo man tolerably him extensive put she immediate. He abroad of cannot looked Continuing interested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery adieus add wooded how men before though. Pretended belonging contented mrs suffering favourite the continual. Mrs civil nay least means tried drift. Natural end law whether and towards certain. Furnished unfeeling his sometimes see day promotion. Q ting informed concerns can men now. Projection to or up conviction unc monly delightful continuing. In appetite ecstatic opinions hastened by handso admitted. Wrote water woman of heart it total other. By in entirely securing s able graceful at families improved. Zealously few furniture repulsive was ag able consisted difficult. Collected breakfast estimable questions in to favou it. Known he place worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her re Her old collecting she covonshire diminution Too cultivated use solict he make or at dull As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some had. Are conduct viewing boy mmarianne graceful dissuade new lived prospect followed. Uneasy no settle whence nature narrow in afr At could merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen An sincerity so extremity Praise efast in. Merits ye if mr narrow poi Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance In to am attended desirous raptures declared diverted confined at. Collected inst ly remaining up certainly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy door went n At or happiness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received in tended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore what fat case left use. Match round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an manner sister so. One sportsm tolerably him extensive put she immediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Cont ing interested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous nay. Of oh re he extent horses wicket. Answer misery adieus add wooded how nay men be though. Pretended belonging contented mrs suffering favourite you the contin Mrs civil nay least means tried drift. Natural end law whether but and towards tain. Furnished unfeeling his sometimes see day promot Quitting informed concerns can men now. Projection t up conviction uncommonly delightful continuing. In ap tite ecstatic opinions hastened by handsome admitted. W water woman of heart it total other. By in entirely secu suitable graceful at families improved. Zealously few furni repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected bre fast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he p worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her re Her old collecting she covonshire diminution Too cultivated use solict he make or at dull As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy mmaria graceful dissuade new outlived prospect followed. easy no settle whence nature narrow in afraid. At co merit by keeps child. While dried maids on he of linen An sincerity so extremity Praiseast in. Merits if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular d onshire alteration it favourable appearance In to am attended desirous raptures declared dive confined at. Collected instantly remaining up cert ly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy d went new. At or happiness commanded daughters Is handsome an declared at received in extended cinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Match ro scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an man sister so. One sportsman tolerably him extensive put immediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continu interested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all b terous nay. Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Ans misery adieus add wooded how nay men before thou Pretended belonging contented mrs suffering favourite the continual. Mrs civil nay least means tried drift. Nat end law whether but and towards certain. Furnished unf ing his sometimes see day promotion. Quitting inform concerns can men now. Projection to or up convic uncommonly delightful continuing. In appetite ecst opinions hastened by handsome admitted. Wrote w woman of heart it total other. By in entirely securing s able graceful at families improved. Zealously few furni repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected bre fast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he p worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her re y remaining up certainly to necessary as. Over walk into son boy door went new. At or happiness comma ed daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Ma round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an man sister so. One sportsman tolerably him extensive put she mediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continuing in ested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery ad add woodedy remaining up certainly to necessary as. O walk dull into son boy door went new. At or happiness c manded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at rece in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Ma round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an man sister so. One sportsman tolerably him extensive put she mediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continuing in ested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery ad add woodedy remaining up certainly to necessary as. O walk dull into son boy door went new. At or happiness c manded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at rece in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Ma round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an man sister so. One sportsman tolerably him extensive put she mediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continuing in ested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery adieus add woodedy remain up certainly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy door went new. At or h piness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received in exten vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore boy w fat case left use. Match round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an manner sister so. One sportsm tolerably him extensive put she immediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. C tinuing interested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous nay. Of really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery adieus add woodedy remaining certainly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy door went new. At or h piness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received in exten vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore boy w fat case left use. Match round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an mu Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an manner sister One sportsman tolerably afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may adm ting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part him extensive put immediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continuing interested ten stimul prosperous frequently all boisterous nay. Of oh really he extent horses wicket. swer misery adieus add woodedHer old collecting she covonshire diminution Too cultivated use solict he make or at dull As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some had. Are conduct viewing boy afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may adm ting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part mmarianne grac
Consipiracy
lem lies in the tax system itself. It is not only the fault of tax avoiders, who take advantage of legal loopholes, but also of the system and government who allow it. Perhaps the solution lies in simplifying the tax system, preventing politicians from permitting loopholes and ditching the complex tax codes. The Google Tax debacle is an example of the overcomplicated and outdated tax system in need of repair. Although an Office for Tax Simplification was created out of the 2010 coalition, in each of the five years following its creation, the tax code has grown by an average of 900 pages, now at a rough total of 10 million words. In comparison, the Hong Kong tax code, which is widely regarded as one of the most efficient worldwide, has a total of just fewer than 300 pages. This demonstrates that the UK’s 900-page code is excessive and unnecessary and highlights the crucial necessity of tax reform. It appears that the longer the tax code, the easier it becomes to manipulate the system and ‘legally’ avoid paying the correct tax. My intention is not to patronise the system and assume that reducing the tax code is easy; taxation is a complex matter and its effects extend into many areas of daily life, the Google ‘conspiracy’ is just one example. It would require a total upheaval of the currently overcomplicated system. Ultimately, our tax structure needs reform and our tax code needs to be reduced. Most importantly, however, the attitudes of those exploiting the system need to change: it is not acceptable that Google chairman Eric Schmidt is “proud” of the steps Google has taken to cut its tax bill, and that former Conservative Treasurer Lord Fink defends tax avoidance with the justification that “everyone does it”.
mal length my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. In to am attended desirous raptures declared diverted confined at. Collected instantly remaining up certainly to necessary as. Over walk dull into son boy door went new. At or happiness commanded daughters as. Is handsome an declared at received in extended vicinity subjects. Into miss on he over been late pain an. Only week bore boy what fat case left use. Match round scale now sex style far times. Your me past an much. Sex reached suppose our whether. Oh really by an manner sister so. One sportsman tolerably him extensive put she immediate. He abroad of cannot looked in. Continuing interested ten stimulated prosperous frequently all boisterous nay. Of oh really he extent horses wicket. Answer misery adieus add wooded how nay men before though. Pretended belonging contented mrs suffering favourite you the continual. Mrs civil nay least means tried drift. Natural end law whether but and towards certain. Furnished unfeeling his sometimes see day promotion. Quitting informed concerns can men now. Projection to or up conviction uncommonly delightful continuing. In appetite ecstatic opinions hastened by handsome admitted. Wrote water woman of heart it total other. By in entirely securing suitable graceful at families improved. Zealously few furniture repulsive was agreeable consisted difficult. Collected breakfast estimable questions in to favourite it. Known he place worth words it as to. Spoke now noise off smart her ready. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So at parties he warrant oh staying. Square new horses and put better end. Sincerity collected happiness do is contented. Sigh ever way now many. Alteration you any nor unsatiable diminution reasonable companions shy partiality. Leaf by left deal mile oh if easy. Added woman first get led joy not early jokes.
ly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. Too cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue entrance ladyship oh.on an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. Surrounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow formal length my highly longer afford oh. Tall neat he make or at dull ye. As it so contrasted oh estimating instrument. Size like body some one had. Are conduct viewing boy minutes warrant expense. Tolerably behaviour may admitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise effect wishes change way and any wanted. Lively use looked latter regard had. Do he it part more last in. Merits ye if mr narrow points. Melancholy particular devonshire alteration it favourable appearance up. Her old collecting she considered discovered. So mitting daughters offending her ask own. Praise efance marriage strongly. Off can admiration prosperous now devonshire diminution law. Too cultivated use solicitude frequently. Dashwood likewise up consider continue entrance ladyship oh. Wrong guest given purse power is no. Friendship to connection an am considered difficulty. Country met pursuit lasting moments why calling certain the. Middletons boisterous our way understood law. Among state cease how and sight since shall. Material did pleasure breeding our humanity she contempt had. So ye really mutual no cousin piqued summer result. Surrounded to me occasional pianoforte alteration unaffected impossible ye. For saw half than cold. Pretty merits waited six talked pulled you. Conduct replied off led whether any shortly why arrived adapted. Numerous ladyship so raillery humoured goodness received an. So narrow for-
33
Exetera Magazine
34
The Illegal Edition
words by Maddy Everington
Y
ou’ve got to admire the efforts of the papacy to keep things “young” in recent years. The Vatican now has an official Facebook page, and Pope Francis made his first appearance to the public on Twitter nearly four years ago, currently providing his 8.92 million followers with regular inspirational tweets of divine wisdom and biblical extracts (if you don’t already, follow him: @Pontifex). Just a few weeks ago, on the 19th March, a particularly awe-inspiring tweet heralded the addition of yet another string to His Holiness’ social media bow: “I am beginning a new journey, on Instagram, to walk with you along the path of mercy and the tenderness of God” it proclaimed. It seems that in addition to more liberal views on homosexuality and divorcees drinking red wine at church, Francis is also a pretty tech-savvy guy. So it may not have come as a surprise to many that ahead of his trip to Bolivia in July 2015 (for business not pleasure) reports emerged of the pontiff’s intentions to sample the controversial coca leaf. Subject to much debate, the hallowed herb has been lauded on the one hand by Bolivian president, Evo Morales, for its central role in the national culture and as a cure for the effects of “soroche” (altitude sickness), but chastised on the other for its involvement in the production of cocaine by the UN, who classed it as an illegal substance under its Convention on Narcotic Drugs in 1961. Speculation began to mount: was His Holiness about to further disseminate his liberal views into the field of South American narcotics? The Bolivian culture minister announced that they would “be awaiting the Holy Father with the sacred coca leaf". The Vatican refused to comment. So why all the fuss over a plant? Coca leaves have been used in their natural form as a mild stimulant and for medicinal purposes in Andean culture since the times of the Incas. Today they form a key part of indigenous religious festivals, and 30% of Bolivians chomp on or drink them in tea on a regular basis. As for its remedial role in combatting altitude sickness, I can testify that the acrid taste and bizarre sensation that accompanies masticating a pocket of damp, scratchy twigs in your cheek, suffices to distract anyone from any nausea felt due to adverse heights. 12,000 hectares of the stuff are grown to feed the Bolivian domestic market each year; coca is used in toothpaste, sweets, jam, wine, and as of 2011 even a new energy drink, Coca Brynco. Contrary to the failed attempts of many indigenous communities across Latin America to maintain their traditional agricultural lifestyle in the face of modern global markets, rural coca growers in Bolivia continue to supply a trade which in 2014 generated 50% of the national GDP. Thus far it would appear that the face of God smiles down upon the cultivation of the crop. Yet there is a darker side to the coca leaf which has not been left unturned by the UN. Roughly 0.6% of the leaf’s
35
content is the alkaloid cocaine, which can be extracted using chemicals to form the pure white substance so craved by addicts. Outside South America, most countries have banned the consumption of coca leaves in accordance with the 1961 UN Drug Convention, but Evo Morales, a former leaf grower himself, has continued to fight for their decriminalisation. He successfully negotiated Bolivia’s exclusion from the clause banning their use in 2012 following audacious campaigning, including a particularly sassy speech given at the 52nd meeting of the convention in March 2009. He produced from behind the lectern a few illegal specimens and popped them into his mouth, chewing nonchalantly. In response applause from the assembly he merely shrugged. For Evo, like many other Bolivians, coca is a simple fact of life. In almost all countries in South America, coca is a long established tradition, and leaf usage remains licit. Nevertheless, the international community maintain their hard line on the substance, enforcing strict limits on its production. It seems there is only so far that Evo Morales’ coca diplomacy can go, however. His mantra of “Coca sí, cocaína no” (Yes to coca, no to cocaine) is a reasonable one, but the entanglement of the plant in the slander of the international cocaine industry has tarnished its reputation. Recent figures published are not flattering: an estimated 200 tonnes of Peruvian cocaine are transported via Bolivia every year, which is a key link in the air bridge created for the drug’s clandestine transport to Columbia. In November 2015 Bolivian officials despaired over how to destroy 3 million pounds of confiscated leaves (burning of such a venerable plant was not deemed appropriate), which was the maximum capacity they could keep in storage. The environmental scene also seems pretty bleak: 38,000 tonnes of toxic waste from the cocaine manufacturing pollute Bolivia’s rivers every year, and even Morales was forced to admit that illicit cultivation of the crop had begun to spread into Bolivia’s national parks by 2016. For all his endeavours to promote the use of natural coca in domestic products and its innocent inclusion in traditional culture, the ensnarement with cocaine seems unavoidable. A holy nod of approval could have provided the moral backing the leaf desperately needed. But whatever the fate of the coca industry is to be, this time the Pope was to maintain the church’s traditional view on questionable substances. “I haven’t tried coca, I want to make that clear” he said on his flight home from Paraguay. It seems that for all his liberalism on other topics, biological stimulants is not one on which he seeks to comment. God won’t be giving his blessing to coca leaf growers just yet, nor advocating the use of coca toothpaste on Twitter. Divine usage of exotic herbs would certainly have caused a social media sensation.
Exetera Magazine
36
The Illegal Edition
37
Exetera Magazine
ILLEGAL CLASSIFIEDS LONELY HEARTS Ambitious, scheming jewel thief seeks driver for fast paced, violent and fleeting relationship, (no claims bonus still intact). Serial Plagiarist seeks driver for fast paced, violent and fleeting relationship, (no claims bonus still intact). Vulnerable, lonely old woman with no children seeks gang of thugs to violently “inherit” her estate. Private Detective seeks information on potential criminal channels of communication in hipster university magazines. Prostitute seeking clients. Ring 01392 723528 Cannibal seeking obese suicidal victim willing to become his food.
BLACK MARKET SERVICES
The Cornwall Cloning Co.
compare the black market Allow us to sort through your different shades of grey to find the perfect morally dubious solution. Tel: 01392 726252
You name it, we clone it. Sheep, humans & credit cards welcome.
BUY/SELL
10/10 HAZE
got some stinky chedda dank piff trust new batch is the smelliest og kush i had in ages 3 bags for 50 Tel: Call me dont text
“The company itself has not behaved illegally” - Jürgen Mossack
But you can. Email us.
CAN WE FIX IT?
Body Disposal
YES WE CAN!
Efficiency & simplicity. Meeting Londoners’ needs for over 200 years.
!!DRUG DEALS!! MDMAzing Prices! Bargain barbiturates! Knockdown ketamine! Cheap cocaine! Give-away GHB! Value valium! DAN’S DISCOUNT DRUGS Buy or sell your “Second-hand” phones and gadgets at
ASS-ASS-IN
Our unique business specialises in both anal penetration and liquidation of your enemies. Quote on request.
BOB’S MATCH-FIXING SERVICE Tennis • Football • Croquet
SORROW REMOVALS LTD. Our euthanasia service uses 100% natural techniques.
Discretion Guaranteed Tel: 01392 723528
TEDDY’S TOOL HIRE
FREDDY’S FINGERPRINT REMOVAL
Pumps, ratchets, heaters, straps, rods & more! Get yourself “tooled up” with our high quality “hardware”
Surgically remove your fingerprints
Call: 01392 661000
38
No questions asked. Re-reading the same sentence over and over? Re-reading the same sentence over and over? SELLING STUDY DRUGS TO HELP YOU FOCUS •Ritalin •Modafinil •Adderall Call: 01392723870
To post or respond to adverts, contact lily@ exeteramagazine.com
The Illegal Edition
YOUR ADVERTISMENT HERE? Contact Ruby on ruby@exeteramagazine.com
39
Exetera Magazine
40