What to do and NOT do when being in an international relationship? Karleen Paquette – American Clinical Psychologist in Denmark – brings you some helpful insights after more than 20 years in the field.
The Do’s
The Don’ts
Do try to learn Danish
Don’t get into an ‘Us’ versus
Many expats may feel the pressure to conform to Danish norms, such as speaking the language. Be careful because it may generate resentment, in fact, out of spite some foreigners who have live here 20 years still refuse to learn the language and only interact with English-speakers. If you plan to be here more than 6-12 months, it might be worth giving ‘Dansk’ a try. Being able to speak the country’s mother-tongue can open many doors socially and help you feel like less of an outsider. Besides, it may be an advantage when visiting your homeland, and you and your partner can have a private conversation in Danish in front of your parents!
‘Them’ mentality After the initial ‘honeymoon phase’ of the acculturation process begins to wears off, we may notice more differences between ourselves and others, and become critical. Remember that there is no perfect place or people. Even the Danes will complain about the Danish weather or admit that they are not easy to get to know. But remember, your own country and people have their weaknesses too. Find similarities to bridge the gaps, and even in the coldest days, you will be able to enjoy the warmth of each others’ company. In fact, you both might be commonly amused by the stark contrast between the grey overcast days versus the dark tanned, rather orange-tinted Danes (just back from the solarium). I mean, come on, who are they kidding!