Becoming Family Spring 2015 Edition

becoming FAMILY Becoming a Father

Secrets for a Passionate Relationship

Spring 2015

7

Manners Children Should Have

plus!

Stuff We Love!

becoming F•A•M•I•L•Y EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Janette Osemwota

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Eghe Lenze

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Mark Voelker

PUBLISHER Becoming Family

Connect with us!

@becomingfamily www.becoming-family.com

Join our community for

F•A•M•I•L•Y

hello@theexpectingmamasnetwork.com 9801 FallCreek Rd #221 Indianapolis, IN 46236

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

1

Special Thanks to Our Sponsors!

2 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Contents

pg. 8

pg. 40

pg. 47

pg. 33

pg.55

IN THIS ISSUE

FEATURES

7 MAMA 23 DAD 32 COUPLES 36 BABY 43 TODDLER 49 PRESCHOOLER

11 MAKEUP 33 TIPS FOR COUPLES 37 LANGUAGE 44 NAP TRANSITION 50 LET’S PLAY

Cover photo credit Roxana Snedeker Photography

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

3

Let’s Socialize! what’s trendy right now

Aboutone gives you a secure place to organize and connect family – your smart, powerful solution for managing memories and household information.

Twitter Poll

Pin It!

Still looking for the one?

Well, we have the inside scoop on our onesie Pinterest board.

We pinned our favorites onesies, from retailers to DIY. Follow us at... pinterest.com/expectingmamas

4 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Do You Spring Clean?

Yes 67%

No 33%

We Want to Know!

What is your favorite thing about Spring?

Kelly P.

More hours of day light! I love waking up to the sun and having more sunlight into the evening. It makes my day feel longer - in a good way!

Lisa J. I know that many look at January 1st

as a new year and time to make new commitments, but I always feel that way at Springtime! I live where oftentimes the winters are LOOOONNNG and grey, so when I start to see the trees getting little leaf buds on them and the bulbs beginning to spring up, it motivates me to commit to a “new me”.

Nicholette von R. Spring is so fresh and

promising. I think of Spring Cleaning, away with gloves and coats and in with lighter, brighter clothes. I love seeing more colors on the trees and on people.

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

5

Letter from the Editor Spring is finally here and it is full of new pos-

sibilities! The word Spring actually derives from the Germanic language that means “to jump” or “to run”. For those of us still experiencing the throes of winter, Spring temperatures can not come fast enough. It isn’t just us parents who can’t wait to jump into Spring, our children are ready to jump about in all the treasures that Spring brings.

This issue is full of ways to get your little one moving, even if it has to be inside for just a little longer. Spring not only affords you a chance to get back outside, it also offers the perfect opportunity to rekindle your relationship. Every couple, whether you’ve been together ten years or ten minutes, needs to make opportunities to keep the romance going. I’ve been married long enough to know that nothing is more important than my relationship with my husband.

This February, check out our calendar of romance that will surely spice things up with your spouse.

Before you do, don’t forget to check out our makeup suggestions for every mom. I always look forward to getting a little dolled up and spending quality time with my husband, whether it is sitting on the couch watching a movie or getting out of the house, sans kids.

I hope you enjoy this Spring issue as much as we enjoy bringing these articles to your fingertips.

Remember to do a little jumping this Spring and get out there and play!

6 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

becoming MAMAS

My Pregnancy:

the second time around.

By Lindsay Blythe

becoming MAMAS W

hen I was pregnant with my now 17 month old son, Linc, I laid in bed every Saturday morning. I watched marathons on HGTV, caught up on my “Say Yes to the Dress” episodes on the DVR, spent hours pinning nursery ideas to my “Baby!” board, and trolled Tiny Prints for the latest baby announcements. I came home from work, immediately changed into jammies, and would sometimes get in bed at 7:00 pm. My husband could either eat the cereal I so lovingly set on the counter or fend for himself. I obsessively read Baby Center for weekly (if not daily) updates on my growing baby. I blogged and blogged and blogged about being pregnant. I could tell you to the day how pregnant I was. I was never four months along; I was 17 weeks and three days. I lived, breathed, slept, and ate being pregnant for nine months.

I’m now 13 weeks (I think…) pregnant with our second little monster. I remember to take my prenatal vitamins at night; I schedule my monthly OB appointments when I leave the last one. I have to set a reminder on my phone so I don’t forget about said appointments. I try and eat fruit and veggies, and drink a lot of water. I keep telling my husband, “We have to clean out the spare room and move Linc into it.” And, that’s it. Pregnancy the second time around is business as usual.

Funny how having a toddler in the house nips any wallowing and indulgences in the bud. Linc wakes up like a rooster at 6:25 am, and darn him, he’s hungry. And needs changed, and dressed, and well, all the things a baby needs. From 6:30 am – 7:30 pm, we are non-stop. There’s no time to scroll Nameberry for the latest new “old” names; we’ve got Gymboree classes to attend, books to read, and Cozy Coupes to drive.

This pregnancy has flown by because of my son.

He doesn’t know that mommy is so tired she can barely lift her head, or that the sight of his mixed veggies makes her want to gag. He just knows he wants to play. And sometimes, while he plays, I look at him and get teary eyed, and think, “What am I doing? YOU are my baby. I will never love the second baby as much as I love you.” And I know that isn’t true. I’m the youngest of three, and my parents couldn’t have loved any of us more if they tried. But I still feel a tiny bit guilty, and already worry about once the baby is here, and the times when I will inevitably have to give more attention to my newborn than my two year old. Will he feel sad? That makes me sad to even consider. And, because mommy guilt sometimes just won’t stop, I then feel guilty that this baby I’m growing knows that I already had pages written in Linc’s baby book by this time. That I patted my stomach all the time, and “talked” to the baby.

Then, I felt the baby kick (so early the second time around!) and Linc ran over to me and pulled up my shirt and pointed at my tummy, and my sweet wonderful husband let me have Saturday morning all to myself, and I curled up in bed until 9:30 am pinning ideas to my “Blythe Deux” board and read the latest Nameberry blogs, and I realized that it. will. all. work. out. Yes, there will be times when Linc will feel left out, and times when the new baby might cry a beat longer than Linc ever had to, but my husband and I will love both of our babies with every cell in our bodies, and we’ll be a family of four. And I can’t wait!

Follow Lindsay Blythe at podamarie.blogpost.com

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

9

More than just a Mom’s Group, but a place where community and families connect.

Meet up with other moms and sit back, drink some coffee, and let the little ones play.

To find out more, visit our calendar of events at www.TheExpectingMamasNetwork.com/calendar

Makeup Every Mom Needs Moms have an important job, becoming a mom. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom you deserve to feel good and look great. Here’s 3 products every mom needs this Spring.

becoming MAMAS Bronzers slim your face. Use a powder bronzer below your cheekbones and sweep up towards your ears. You don’t want a bronzer that is dark or strong. The makeup pros at the counter can help you find the right one for you.

One to try: Too Faced Snow Bunny Luminous Bronzer for Women,

$30

Reduce puffy eyes and dark circles. Whether you are working too much or having sleepless nights, use an eye cream to hydrate skin, reduce puffiness and diminish dark circles. One to try: InstaNatural Youth Express Eye Gel,

$19.95

Tinted moisturizers give you a glow. They also can give you sun protection, vitamins and sheer coverage in addition to the moisture. Tinted moisturizes gives you a tint and therefore usually dark to give you a sun-kissed glow. One to try: Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer,

$43

12 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Personal Trainer Fernando and Model: Milena Mercedes

becoming MAMAS G

reat news! You can exercise while you are pregnant or begin an exercise workout during your pregnancy. If you are a beginner or exercise guru you should review your exercise plan with your healthcare provider before you begin. Why exercise? Regular exercise while you’re pregnant can improve your heart health, give you energy, strengthens the muscles surrounding your joints and prepare your body for birth.

Beginners should start slowly by exercising at least 10 minutes a day and increase to 30 minutes a day. If you exercised regularly before becoming pregnant, continue your program, with modifications as you need them.

Here are some safe exercises to do while pregnant.

Split squats Start with 3 sets of 5 reps per leg and add reps as you build up your strength.

16 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Seated Shoulder Press Start with 5lbs dumbbells, 3 sets of 10 reps. Add 5 pounds if we could double the recommended number of repetitions without pushing to the max.

Seated Shoulder Press

(without assistance)

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

17

becoming MAMAS Seated shoulder press (an alternative easier version) Start with 5lbs dumbbells, 3 sets of 10 reps. Add 5 pounds if we could double the recommended number of repetitions without pushing to the max.

Standing one hand biceps curls Start with 3 sets of 10 reps with 5lbs.

Add repetitions if we feel it too light.

18 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Squats on BOSU Start with 3 sets of 10 reps. Unless you are used to working with the BOSU, always use a support.

Declined press with elastic bands Start with 3 sets of 10 reps with medium resistance. becoming family • Spring 2015 •

19

becoming MAMAS Declined press with elastic bands

As a precaution, if you have any of the following signs while you’re exercising, stop immediately and contact your doctor or midwife:

(side view)

• • • • • • • • • • • •

dizziness or feeling faint nausea or vomiting muscle weakness headache chest pain calf pain or swelling blurred vision vaginal bleeding contractions (preterm labor) or pain in your abdomen fluid leaking from your vagina decreased fetal movement rapid heartbeat while at rest

Follow Personal Trainer Fernando at facebook.com/fernandoworkout 317-410-4325

20 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Ambassador spotlight Meet Amber!

What is the best part of being a mom?

The best part about being a mom is knowing that I gave my sons life and that I am here to nurture them and mold them. Actually, it may be a tie between that and the snuggles.

What is the hardest?

The hardest part about being a mom is the not knowing. Am I doing a good job? Are my kids going to have all of the skills they need to be successful adults? Will they be alright when I’m not around? Will they get sick or hurt? These things are what I find to be most difficult.

What is your favorite thing to do with your family during Spring?

When spring comes around, my family loves to go outdoors. We stay close to home but living in a small city with ample parks and trails, there is a lot to explore! We enjoy geocaching, hiking, and just being outside in the fresh air. My eldest son is a lover of plants, so we like to seek out heavy foliage and gardens to look at.

What is geocaching?

Geocaching is a really fun international searching game. It is almost like a treasure hunt. There is a database where individuals log where they have hidden the geocache (which can be anything-a box, a tube, a bottle) and the database gives you the coordinates. Then, search away! Sometimes they include prizes, or you can take what is inside and switch it out with something new.

What are your favorite spots in Indy?

My favorite spots in Indy to hang out are the canal (especially the little cafe-the name always changes), the IMA Arts Garden, Monument Circle (while stopping at South Bend Chocolate!) and Mass Ave.

Who is your biggest influence?

I can’t really say who my biggest influence is. I think it’s rather a ‘what’. My community is my biggest influence. My friends, family, church family, and people I come into contact with influence me. There is always something new to learn about parenthood.

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

21

Are you expecting? Have little ones?

Looking for a community to join?

Find families that are in your area? We know it takes a village, let us help you create yours.

Join us for free today! www. Becoming-Family.com

becoming DAD

Photo credit Roxana Snedeker Photography

Top Breastfeeding Tips for Dads (from a Mom)

By Eghe Lenze

becoming DAD Have baby, will breastfeed! Breastfeeding is

great for baby and great for mama, but sometimes dads are left out of this great experience.

We know you are not able to breastfeed, although we wish we could loan you our equipment to do so. We understand you still play an important role when it comes to breastfeeding. Research shows that your attitude and actions play a big role in mamas’ success or failure when it comes to breastfeeding. If you are wondering how you can help, here are 5 top breastfeeding tips for dads.

1. Educate Attend the breastfeeding class. When you educate yourself about breastfeeding, you learn several things: what she is experiencing, its benefits and your support in her decision to breastfeed. This is a crucial duty that will help in her success to breastfeed.

2. Affirmation Affirmations are simply positive statements. Simply saying, honey (or any term of adornment you use) I am proud of you are encouraging words.

Who doesn’t want to be encouraged? Especially, when breastfeeding can be new, time consuming and emotional.

3. Chores I am sure you are already doing chores. There is a little thing that we moms/women tend to do and that is obsess. If we are breastfeeding, we are thinking of all the things we could be doing. How the laundry has fallen behind and the house is a mess. Help your partner focus on what matters, breastfeeding. It’s a comfort to know that somethings (it doesn’t have to be everything, we know you are superman) are taken care already.

4. Ask We don’t always verbalism what we want, but if you ask, we can tell you. Sometimes simply asking can make all the difference.

5. Support Breastfeeding is hard work. By educating yourself on breastfeeding, encouraging her with affirmation, helping out with chores, and getting her a glass of water or nipple cream when you ask what do you need. These actions are supportive and caring, which help her become a success in her breastfeeding journey.

Congratulations on your baby, if nothing else, enjoy the journey!

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

25

Special Thanks to Our Sponsor!

Becoming a Father Photo credit Conor Ogle

by Aaron Brown

becoming DAD Father! A name passed down from generation to

generation. It’s a name all men have used countless times in our lives, though used In a variety of ways, such as dad, papa, or daddy. Of course we all know what a father is, but no one truly knows what it is to be a father until that day comes in our lives.

What does it mean to be a father? Let me take you through my experiences with the hopes that I can better define this for future fathers. Note, I did not say with the hopes that I can prepare you for fatherhood. That would be impossible.

For me, the first challenge of being a father was watching the transformation my wife made during this process. Her moods changed faster than I could keep up with. Watching her struggle emotionally and physically while carrying this unborn life was a challenge for me. At times, I was angry that our lives had been turned upside down. My responsibilities tripled. My freedoms were stripped away. My patience for the mood swings ran short. I selfishly wanted all of this to be over, so that I could be the man I had been before. Then, at our first ultrasound, I saw him.

I saw the life that I helped create and suddenly my anger and emotional exhaustion transformed into a joy that I had never felt before. This was my first experience of joy as a father.

For me, my first challenge and moment of joy of fatherhood was greatly different than that of my wife’s.

For me, my first challenge and moment of joy of fatherhood was greatly different than that of my wife’s. For my wife, and is the case for most mothers, motherhood began while she was carrying our son in the womb. Her body naturally nurtured the baby and just as God or Mother Nature intended, her body adjusted to accommodate being a mother. This goes beyond just the physical metamorphoses to accommodate the baby, but includes the emotional attachment and natural maternal instinct. No, we as fathers don’t have that advantage.

Fast forward a few months. The big day was here and I was an organized, ultra precision, ready to go, fast moving machine. I knew the fastest route to the hospital. I had the bag packed and I didn’t miss a thing. I even grabbed my wife’s house shoes and favorite books.

I was ready!

I had read every book and article there was. I had checklist after checklist and nothing was going to prevent me from tackling this day like a champion! Until the unthinkable happened. I missed it! That’s right. I missed all but the last few seconds of my son’s birth. I

The big day was here, and I was an organized, ultra precision, ready to go, fast moving machine.

28 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

had been asked by the doctor to step out of the room for just a moment and when I came back an emergency procedure was underway. I caught sight of my son as he ungracefully fell into the world for the first time, before being rushed off to the neonatal intensive care area of our delivery room.

As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, my goal is to help define fatherhood and that I could in no way help you to be better prepared.

Fatherhood begins by simply jumping in the deep end, not knowing what lies beneath. You take it a day at a time, while reminding yourself of your role.

Nothing had prepared me for this moment. The rush of emotions was more than I could comprehend. My wife lay on the delivery bed, not aware of what was going on.

My newborn son was not breathing and was surrounded by a swarm of doctors. Sounds horrifying, right? Yes, but it was also the biggest turning point in my life. This was the moment I became the father I was supposed to be, even if just for a moment. I held my wife’s hand and soothed her and talked to her. I also spoke with doctors to find out what was going on with our son. I stood over our son, and I watched as they fed the breathing tube down his nose. I rubbed my wife’s forehead and told her everything was ok. I felt like I was in two places at the same time.

As fathers, our role is to offer strength and support for our family. Our family consumes us, and that’s a good thing.

Much like our careers, there are daily routines, obligations, deadlines, rules, and so on. There are pressures and stressors, but in our families we have more of a vested interest in overcoming them. Our family relies on our strength and perseverance, but we must also accept that at times we are vulnerable. We are, after all, human. We have limits, and we have breaking points. There is, however, a crutch for those times, a pillar of strength to lean on. There is help for us, in similar ways that we provide help. We have our partners. Our wives are able to offer comfort that nobody else can offer.

They can offer that ray of sunshine on cloudy days. Relying on our wives, as they rely on us, is what makes a family strong. It’s the unspoken trust and dependability in our relationships that allow our families to overcome the most challenging obstacles.

Until, the unthinkable happened.

I missed it!

How could I try to be a pillar for my wife, and a concerned protector for my new son?

How could I try to be a pillar for my wife and a concerned protector for my new son? Well, that is what fatherhood is. That experience was the defining moment of what my role was to be for the rest of my life. To support my wife, to offer her comfort in times of need, while protecting my child and looking out for their best interest.

Earlier in this article I articulated the fear and becoming family • Spring 2015 •

29

becoming DAD uncertainty that arose during the birth of our son. I expressed my realizing the role I needed to fulfill that day. I also want to emphasize the amount strength and endurance that my wife showed. This was the strength and sense of rationality that I could never possess. The strength only a mother and woman can harness when it is needed. Her body had been through multiple changes. Her emotions ran rampant. Her mental state of mind had been clouded by medications.

Yet, despite the grueling obstacles, she endured.

She rose above and offered her entire heart and soul to our child while he was in the NICU, all while fulfilling the loving roles of a wife.

The loving partnership that was created long before the birth of our son, amplified during the pregnancy and multiplied tenfold after his birth. Our daily challenges are confronted by the strength that our trust, love, and reliance on each other, that only a family,father and a mother, can understand.

As we move ahead in life, facing challenges, we make time for creating wonderful memories. We focus on the simple things in life and overlook the details that make things challenging. Life offers many challenges and heartache, without our looking for reasons to have them and without creating our own fires. Our children have become a focal point in our relationship, but not the only focal point. We set aside time for each other. We make sure that each other knows we are still there and still in love. For after our children are grown and have families of their own, we will still be together. It’s important to keep a healthy balance between time with your children and

30 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

time with your wife.

I do not have a formal education in parenting. I am not expert on being a good husband or father. I am a man, who chose to have a family, and much like every other man, I struggle. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much research we do, we will never be prepared for the challenges of family, but we can endure them through strength. This is a lesson both my father and mother have shown me by example. It is a lesson my wife and I attempt to show by example to our children. Finally, it is an example any of you can show and live, through strength.

“Connecting fathers in and around the Indianapolis area through meetups, blogs, podcasts, workshops, and more.”

The Indy Dads Group is a diverse community of fathers who take an active role in our children’s lives.

We meet several times a month; with out kids at parks, playgrounds, museums, parent-and-me classes, and living rooms across the Indy area. We’ll also organize parenting workshops and “Dad’s Night Out” events to give our members an opportunity to socialize, learn, and support each other as we navigate parenthood. www.citydadsgroup.com/cities/

becoming COUPLES

Photo credit Roxana Snedeker Photography

Secrets for a Passionate Relationship

becoming COUPLES We all want to have a deep, passionate and suc-

cessful relationship with our partner. When you were dating, romance and intimacy was spontaneous. It was very obvious that the love you have for each other is there. As life continues, the spark that was bright with spontaneity will die down and is put on the back burner due to responsibility, children, work, and trying to balance life. These happens to many relationships.

However, it does not have to be that way and here are some secrets to create that hot, passionate relationship.

Be intentional.

In your relationship you will have seasons where priorities and commitments change. The relationship you had when you were dating is not going to be the same throughout because of these seasons.

You have built the foundation (dating). Now you are going to build on to that foundation and be intentional about being passionate and showing love to each other.

Small things matter.

Pay attention to the small things. What may seem trivial can actually mean more to your partner.

A compliment can mean words to you, but uplifting to your partner. Giving a hug when they come home, can mean just a hug, but physical touch can mean warmth and security. If you have a partner that thrives on physical touch and they do not receive it, it can be stifling for a loving relationship. Those small things add up to build a passionate relationship.

34 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Flirt. It does NOT matter how long you have

been together, you can still flirt. Flirting is a confidence booster. Flirting is a reminder to you and your partner why you are attracted to each other.

It’s a fun way to play around with your spouse and it is spontaneous. It’s a loving way to communicate with each other.

Communicate.

Any great relationship requires good communication. Research studies show that quality of communication in a relationship directly influences the success of relationship. Learn how to handle and resolve conflicts. Difference of opinions and conflicts are a normal part of any relationship.

Make time to mentally and emotionally bond with each other. It something you did when you were dating and it’s important to continue “dating” your partner to help grow your relationship.

Love is constant, but passion needs recharging.

You owe it to yourself and your partner to have a great relationship that is loving and passionate.

Check out the Be Loved Calendar to start recharging your relationship.

February 2015 Monday

Sunday

1 Create a list of 10 date night ideas for this month.

8

Make your spouse their favorite snack.

15 Cook dinner together.

22 Movie night & cuddle.

2 Love note for your spouse in an obvious place.

9

Hug your spouse any and every chance you can.

16 Have a romantic bubble bath.

23

Point out your spouse’s strengths.

Tuesday

3 Send flowers to your spouse (or

10

Compliment your spouse 5 times.

17 Have a lunch date.

24

Create a bucket list of things to do togetherthis year.

Wednesday Thursday

4 Write down 3 things you’re grateful about your spouse today.

11 Try something new together.

18

5

6

Play a board game together.

Send a flirty text to your spouse.

12

13

Stay up late talking.

19

Encourage your spouse today.

Write your spouse a thank you note.

25

26

Take a shower together.

Saturday

Friday

Play a kissing game.

Spend the day together tech free.

20 Date night.

27 Share your favorite moment.

7 Date night.

14 V day

21

Find out your spouse love language

28

Create love coupons for your spouse.

becoming BABY

10 Ways to Promote Language Development

By Marguerite Joy

becoming BABY From day one when a baby is born they are al-

ways communicating to their parents their needs.

It may not come as direct as a sentence but that comes with time. As a parent, you will help your baby develop an understanding of language and promote language development as they grow.

There is no specific time to start creating this ideal environment for your baby to learn. Language is part of our everyday living and babies are sponges waiting to learn from us.

1.

Talk to Your Baby.

Engage in conversation with your little one. They may not be talking back but with due time and repetition they usually get it.

2. Read.

Using books provides an opportunity to engage your child and develops their love for books as well.

3. Sign Language.

You may think sign language may delay or further prohibit your child from speaking, but the opposite is true. Studies have sign language is beneficial in more ways than one.

4. Repeat & Repeat.

This is a reinforcement and helps child develop the memory and the concept. So, reading the same book over and over may be boring for you, but valuable for your child.

5. Use Every Opportunity.

In the grocery store, tell them what you are buying. Cooking dinner, explain what you are doing.

They are a captive audience.

38 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

6. Respond to cues.

There are always cues your child is trying to communicate with you and you can respond verbally.

7. Music.

Sing your favorite songs and make musical instruments to play along. Sometimes things are easier through songs.

8. Name Game.

Name the common things you use and see every day and the people you normally see.

9. Imitate.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. You clap, they clap. You wave, they wave.

10. Put effort in the process.

Sometimes we worry too much about the milestone. Every child is different and do things in their own way. Create and encourage and it will happen.

Stuff We Love!

Nuna ZAAZ™’ Convertible Highchair ($249.99; Nordstrom.com)

Skip Hop ‘Chelsea’ Diaper Bag ($99.00, Nordstrom.com) 40 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

Maxi-Cosi® ‘Pria 85’ Car Seat ($299.99, Amazon.com)

Vinne Cradle Chair (from $106, overstock.com)

4moms Mamaroo (from $199.99, Amazon.com)

Chicco Lullaby Playard ($189.99, Amazon) becoming family • Spring 2015 •

41

Vulli Sophie the Giraffe Teether (from $18, Amazon.com)

Skip Hop Owl Phone ($12.99, Target.com)

4moms Infant tub ($49.99, Amazon.com)

Doona carseat/stroller (TBD, mbeans.com) 42 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

becoming TODDLER

Naptime: Tips for Easy Transition From 2 to 1 Naps

By Katie Kovaleski

becoming TODDLER T

he 2-1-nap transition seems to be universally dreaded by all parents but it does not have to be.

The best way to approach this nap transition is to make small, systematic changes over the course of a few weeks.

When Is It Time To Transition?

This 2-1 transition typically occurs on average between 15-18 months. Some children will begin to have nap difficulties as early as 12-13 months; this is too young to transition and it’s in your child’s best interest to hold onto two naps for as long as possible.

Take a look at your child’s schedule and make sure they are sleeping at the most biologically appropriate times of day. They should be taking a morning nap around 9 a.m. and an afternoon nap around 1 p.m. If they have begun refusing one of the naps, playing through it or protesting, begin by capping the morning nap to 1 hour.

Begin a soothing routine around 8:45 a.m. and have them placed in the crib by 9 a.m. Leave them for one hour. Once the hour has elapsed, get them up, even if they are still sleeping. Our goal is to protect the afternoon nap, which is the one they will keep when they drop down to a one-nap schedule.

Then begin a short soothing routine at 12:45 and have them in the crib at 1 p.m. These are the times of day when a sleep wave hits, allowing them to experience the most restorative sleep.

Stay steady with this schedule for at least 2 weeks or until they are consistently refusing one or both naps for a minimum of 14 days. Then start begin

ning the next transition steps.

Also, if your child is not sleeping through the night consistently and has frequently occurring night wakings, they are not ready to be transitioned.

How To Make The Transition: Part 1 When your child has reached between 15-18 months and is displaying the behaviors mentioned above, refusing one of the naps for at least two weeks, they are ready to begin the transition.

The first step is following the steps outlined above. To make sure they are really ready to transition, you will begin by capping the a.m. nap to 1 hour. Remember to make sure the schedule is appropriate too.

The a.m. nap will be capped and will end at 10 a.m. every day with the p.m. nap beginning sharply at 1 p.m. with no cap. The afternoon nap can run as long as 4 p.m. Please make sure to wake them by 4 p.m. so night sleep does not become disrupted.

Stay on this schedule until they begin fighting one or both of the naps for at least two weeks.

How To Make The Transition: Part 2 Once you have capped the morning nap and they are still refusing one or both naps for a minimum of two weeks, you can move on to part 2.

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

45

becoming TODDLER This is when you will begin offering just one nap per day. Your child may not be able to handle a start time of later than 11 a.m. when beginning the transition, that’s okay. Try to push them as close to 11:30 or 12:00 as you can but without allowing them to become too over tired. The end goal is to have a nap that starts at 1 p.m. but it may take a few months to reach that start time.

Do not begin the nap earlier than 11 a.m. and if you are starting the nap this early, you will have to slowly move the start time forward. Keeping the nap at 11 a.m. tends to create sleep havoc.

You can achieve this by moving the start time forward in 15 increments, every 2-3 days, until you have reached 12 p.m. If they seem exhausted, hold steady at 11:30 for a few more days until they adjust, it’s important to move forward but also not too push too hard.

Once you hit 12 p.m. let their nap start there for a few weeks and slowly, over time, you can begin pushing it again until you reach 1 p.m.

And of course, early bedtime! That bedtime will fall earlier once you make the transition, be prepared and react accordingly. Bedtime will fall about 3.5-4.5 hours after the end of the nap.

When they are just starting their nap at 11 this can mean a very early bedtime while they are adjusting.

46 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

I Started The Transition And Now My Child Is Exhausted The best way to avoid this scenario is by never starting the transition cold turkey. Follow the nap capping steps above to ease them into it and make sure they are ready by transitioning them when they have been consistently fighting their naps not because you want it to be time.

A second great tip is to continue occasionally offering two naps days. You can do this right when you start the transition if you see that they appear over tired, are having other sleep issues like night wakings or are having a really short nap.

Offer two nap days a few times a week when you first start to ensure they are getting the rest that they need. Begin cutting down on the two nap offerings slowly and they will successfully settle into that one nap a day transition in no time!

Katie Kovaleski is a member of the Family Institute Sleep, follow her at www.AnytimeSleepConsulting or on https://www.facebook.com/ Anytimesleepconsulting

Your Guide to the Best Birthday Party Create a Plan

Spread the Word

becoming family • Spring 2015 •

47

Have some cake

Goodies to go

For ideas, tips, and tricks check out our Pinterest Board: Parties & Celebrations 48 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

becoming PRESCHOOLERS

Let’s Play:

Activities for Your Preschooler.

By Megan Galko

becoming

PRESCHOOLERS

The fun and excitement of the holiday’s have

passed and that means for us in colder climates we have months of frigid, snowy weather to which to look forward Did you know it is recommended that kids get 60 minutes of active play each day? When the weather is warm it is easy to do, but when it is cold and snowy outside it can be tough for kids to get enough exercise.

That means for those of us with small children we need to get creative when trying to keep our preschoolers active, both for our children’s health, but also our own sanity. Anyone who has been cooped up inside for a few days during a snowstorm with a toddler knows how important it is for kids to burn off some energy.

Kids need opportunities to burn off energy during the winter months without tearing down the walls, so thankfully there are few ways to do this without breaking the bank!

1. Get Outside and play--Unless it is truly dangerous to be outside, all kids benefit from playing outside every day. As long as you are dressed properly for the outside conditions head out and ride bikes, kick around a soccer ball or slide down your favorite sledding hill. The fresh air and sunshine is good for everyone. (photo credit Mike Gifford)

52 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

2. Weather outside truly too bad to go out? Then play inside. Build a fort, play Twister, set up a scavenger hunt or incorporate exercises into your day. My kids love to do exercises like pushups, jumping jacks and jogging in place...to them it is FUN not work. (photo credit Chris Barr)

3. Invest in some indoor toys like a mini trampoline, a mini basketball hoop, ring toss games and bowling are all great toys to play with inside.

Don’t have an indoor bowling set? Then make one yourself! Just take water bottles, set them up like pins and take turns knocking them down with a soccer ball--it seriously is so much fun!

4. Look for opportunities for classes around town. In my area places like our local YMCA offer classes for preschooler kids that allow kids to get some exercise and for mom to get some adult conversation. Other popular options are places like MyGym or local gymnastic facilities that allow parents to pay for a specific session so that you can attend weekly classes. If you are unsure of where to find classes like this ask your pediatrician or other parents in your neighborhood. (photo credit:USAG Humpreys)

5. Finally, don’t forget to check with your local library. While libraries have the reputation that everyone must be quiet, in reality many libraries has special programs just for toddlers and they incorporate movement and activity into learning time.

It is important for young kids to get enough physical activity, whether it means you bundle up and head outside or if you try and get active indoors. No matter how you choose to keep your child active, the important thing is that you offer them a safe way to stay active and burn off some energy during the cold winter months. becoming family • Spring 2015 •

55

The Tea Room @ Rita’s Backyard

12244 East 116th Street, Fishers, Indiana 46037 317-842-0235

www.ritasbackyard.com

www.facebook.com/ritasbackyard

Open Monday – Saturday 11:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. serving lunch 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. serving Authentic English Teas The perfect setting for a quiet lunch or special occasion.

We offer elegant baby & bridal showers, even small weddings!

Tea parties for birthdays, girl scouts, church groups and more. W can tailor our events to fit your needs- just give us a call!

Upcoming events (visit our facebook or call for more info) Julie’s American Girl Tea : February 21st 4-5:30 $25 Pride and Prejudice Tea : February 22nd 1-2:30 $35 Doctor Who Dinner (yes you can dress up!): February 27th 7-9 $50 adult $20 child Madhatter’s unbirthday : March 1st 1-2:30 $30 adult $20 child Grace’s American Girl Tea : March 3rd 5-6:30 $25 Samantha’s American Girl Tea: March 15th 1-2:30 $25 Spring Tea: March 22nd 1-2:30 $35

We have regular special events for every age! (Reservations required) Valentine Tea February 12th 13th and 14th Enjoy a themed tea of scones, spreads, finger sandwiches and miniature desserts celebrating love of all kinds.

By Marguerite Joy

becoming

PRESCHOOLERS

7 Manners Children Should Have

I am sure you have figured out that children are

smart. They are sponges and soak all this information. They learn by observation and directions. It is never too early to start teaching your child all about manners. Having manners and proper etiquette seems to be a dying principle. As a woman, who grew up in the south, manners are not optional. As a child, I remember my mother taking me to an etiquette class. I was not intentional rude or ill-mannered, but she knew the value of having manners. Manners can get you noticed (in good ways) and shows your appreciation. In fact, people with manners get respect, make good impressions, and develop good relationships. With the chaos of life, working and being a parent, emphasis on teaching manners are not always at the top of the list.

I pulled together a list of manners and here are some basic manners you can start working on with your child: 1.

Saying “Thank You” “You’re Welcome” & “Please.” To simply put it, it is polite. It shows respect, gratitude and appreciation.

2.

Greeting people. Who doesn’t want to be recognized when you meet or see someone?

Saying hello or good morning is a simple act that speaks volumes.

3.

Knock on closed doors. And wait for a response.

4.

Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. Every parent, teacher and adult appreciates and notices a child who covers their mouth.

Bonus points if they sanitize their hands afterwards or sneeze into their elbows.

56 • Spring 2015 • becoming family

5.

Holding doors. Emphasizing for boys to look and see if you can open the door for other women, your mom, your sisters and the elderly.

6.

Respect your elders. Speak to adults such as grandma & grandpa, teachers and trusted adults they know with kindness in their voice and by their title.

7.

Empathy. Children don’t always understand “I’m sorry.” Encourage going beyond just saying sorry and having their actions match their words.

These are just a few on the list and as they grow beyond preschool age, I encourage you teach them other age appropriate manners. I understand some of these manners maybe easier to teach than others, depending on your child.

However, in the end, it is worth teaching them and they will be better for the knowledge of how to treat others and themselves.

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.

Clarence Thomas

Look out for our next issue this summer

“Where community and family connect!�