Story by: Debbie Kemp
LIFE COACH Thinking versus feeling… do we really know the difference? brain to ‘think’ about situations, we will end up making decisions that are not in our best interests, that will not satisfy all of our needs or lead us to fulfilment. The head brain has a wonderful purpose, and that is to think about creative ways to bring into action the information the heart and gut brains feed us. Those who choose to listen to all of their brains live more fulfilled and aligned lives. Thinking and feeling our way is important, but being aware of which is operating when making decisions is the goal in seeking joy and fulfilment.”
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recently did the 7-day mindset challenge that I offered in the last edition of EYS magazine. I posted about it on social media and enjoyed some interesting conversations. Some people commented that positive thinking is good but suggested that it’s also good to feel and process negative feelings. I agree, but what interested me is how many people interchanged the words thinking and feeling, and how many people explained their preference for thinking through their feelings or feeling through their thinking. I don’t consider myself an expert on this, I honour everyone’s perspective, and I enjoy and appreciate such open conversations, but I’ve come to see thinking and feeling as two very different things. For me, thinking happens in mind… it can be strategic; it can be analytical, it’s a decision-making tool and working things out tool. In contrast, I experience feeling in my body… in my heart and my stomach and my solar plexus chakra (energy centre). A feeling comes to me as subtle sensations and also as an overwhelmingly powerful awareness of energy. I might experience heaviness or lightness, sadness or happiness, anger or grief, frustration or acceptance, overwhelm or calm, apathy or joy. For me, none of this feeling has a thinking element. The work I’ve done to shift trauma and illness – suffering I guess – and the coaching I’ve done to help other people shift their suffering has helped
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me become quite a practised energy processor. I know how to suppress a feeling, I know how to tune in to a feeling, and I know how to release a feeling. All of it is a body experience, something that happens in the space between the heart and the gut. When we’re truly feeling, our mind cannot be busy thinking. At least that’s how I see it! One friend weighed into the thinking/feeling conversation with considerable experience. Sharon Van den Broek is an Equine Experiential Learning Facilitator and a Coach in Multiple Brain Integration Technique. She explained that neuroscience research reveals that we actually have three brains! We have the brain in our head, the one we all know about; this brain is responsible for thinking, Strategizing and giving meaning to things. Apparently, we also have complex neural networks – brains – in our heart and our gut! Our heart brain is responsible for values; it tells us what’s deeply important to us and reveals our life’s purpose. Our gut brain is responsible for identity, self-preservation and safety. Sharon also explained this… “Thinking is a prefrontal [head] brain function where the feeling is a function of the heart and gut neural [brain] networks. When we feel our way, we are taking notice of the massive amount of information our body is feeding to us about situations. If we ignore this information and only rely on the head
When I told Sharon how interesting I found this and asked her to explain further, she went on… “There is no such thing as positive and negative feelings or emotions. These are messages we receive through our interception. As soon as we start judging those we know our prefrontal brain is active. Even the use of certain words will tell me what brain a person is accessing. The classic “I THINK I feel sad” tells me the head brain is interpreting the feeling rather than the truth of the feeling. Every felt sense leads to an emotion which is just information. Once a person reaches the point of being able to feel the emotion, know what its message is (e.g. anger tells us boundaries needed to be laid sooner) they can then do what is needed to rectify things for themselves. The e-motion (Energy in Motion) will then shift without them needing to try and shift it.” I like the concept that emotions are not positive or negative; that they’re just messages. Personally, I think of emotion as the way my soul communicates with my body. It’s how my soul tells me what’s important and what I should give more attention to. It’s how my soul tells me when to say yes and when to say no. Listening to our soul, to our feelings, is powerful. But what about thinking? I believe that thinking is a great tool! I also believe that we sometimes overthink. Abraham Hicks has some beautiful thinking and feeling quotes… “No matter what the issue is, don’t try to justify [think about] why you don’t feel good. Also, don’t try to justify [think about] why you should feel differently… All of that is wasted effort. Just try to feel better right now.” So… “As you think thoughts that feel good to you, you will be in harmony with whom you really are.” Isn’t that what we all want? To feel good being an expression of who we are?
