Illustration by Austen McDonald
RISE Story by: Deme McDonald
R
ise and shine. This is what I tell myself as I drag through the morning routine. As the steam clears from the bathroom mirror a face hiding in the mist materialises. I find it difficult to recognise the woman staring back at me. Her eyes with a lacklustre gaze pregnant, longing and questioning. How did I get here? Feeling empty and exhausted, I toss my hair together, throw on my corporate costume, apply make-up and a smile to complete the façade. Off to another day of doing a job to which I no longer feel connected.
The moment I drove away from the office a weight was lifted from my shoulders.
Earlier in life, this was my chosen path. As a young woman searching through the university brochure, I selected a profession that would pull me straight out of Compton, California to escape generational poverty and offer a new life of choice. I had not yet met myself and was in a time of discovery allowing others to define me. I was committed to the business and the sacrifice required to ascend in my career. I became accustomed to the travel and late nights, often stealing hours in the early morning working until the choir of Australian native birds begin their first song at dawn. However, unlike the glorious symphony presented by the native fauna I was suffering disharmony.
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eYs Magazine
I am torn. I am grateful for the career I have developed over the years, but there is a force within my soul which has always been present, a chrysalis lying dormant, quietly evolving preparing to break free. My mind has long deviated from the path set for me aligning with my heart in the direction of my purpose, yet I stayed the course. Langston Hughes, Harlem Renaissance author, asked in the poem Harlem, “What happens to a dream deferred?”. As a young girl, I memorised every word of this poem and recited it with power and flare determined not to allow my dreams to fester like a sore and suffer as presented by Hughes. My awareness of who I am and of the dreams directing me to my purpose
I BELIEVED FOR TOO LONG THAT I COULD NOT START OVER, AND YET I WAS STAGNANT IN SPIRIT. has gradually become clear through time, personal growth and mindfulness. I found myself existing in a state of turmoil, cognitive dissonance, where my soul was directing me to follow my purpose, but obligations to my partner, kids, and
