TRACY GRAVENMAKER

HEALTH AND WELLBEING

TRACY GRAVENMAKER Health And Weight loss Coach

Interview by Jasmina Siderovski

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Could you please give us some insight into your childhood?

I was born in the summer of 1969, raised in Sydney’s western suburbs of NSW to Australian parents. Having a 13-month older brother, my mother also gave birth to my youngest brother in 1976 who passed away at only six weeks old from water on the brain. My father was a taxi driver around the district, and mum was a telephonist at the taxi base. My parents were huge on family and friends. We were always visiting relatives, going to parties and seeing friends. They both came from big families.

My Dad loved to play golf with his taxi friends, and he was an ‘A’- grade player, always winning trophies and prizes. He was hard-working, loved his family but also a very social man, loved having a laugh and telling jokes. Dad was kind and had a trusting nature. The downside was that he would drink alcohol, especially in the younger years, when I was three years old. He was drunk and wanted me to hug him, I wouldn’t go near him because I didn’t like him when he was like that, it scared me.

Mum didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, loved playing tennis and squash, jogging and exercise. She always weighed herself on the scales, and it drove me crazy in my teenage years. On the flip side of that, she would bake custard tarts, apple pies, biscuits, and cheesecakes. Dad loved all of that, and the Coke and Fanta we all did. Back in those days, you didn’t know any better. I loved dancing though, I never got to do any classes, but I loved listening to music and singing, but dancing was it. I loved watching the dance movies; we would listen and dance to records with my mum.

When and why did you decide to be an advocate for health and lifestyle as a fitness mentor?

On my Dad’s side of the family, they were not healthy at all, a lot of sickness, diabetes, cancer, and as a teenager, I saw my Dad have a heart attack at home. This was another thing that scared me. You know where this is leading. Do you remember the movie ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral?’ A very popular 90s movie. Our family was more like 12 Funerals and a Wedding. It seemed there was always a funeral and I only ever remember one wedding, which was my uncle’s (a home wedding). This was the first time I tried drinking beer; I don’t know why I developed a taste for it, though, as I think it’s rather disgusting today.

Can you walk us through your journey, mainly finding the motivation to inspire others to better their journey?

I was a troubled teenager. I started smoking in Year 7 with my best friend, and rebelled against my parents, ran away from home many times, didn’t like high school because I got picked on all the time. My favourite subject was Art; I loved that. I had great friends, though, and I am so grateful that throughout my life, I made friends quickly and still do. I was caught shoplifting, not very nice, getting taken away in a police van. It was a big wakeup call, and I didn’t do it again.

I was glad to leave school in Year 10 and was out of there!!

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I didn’t do drugs, but I can honestly say, I became an alcoholic, went nightclubbing underage five nights a week and still went to work. Moving through life was in an abusive relationship, although it didn’t start that way, it ended that way. Self-esteem was in the toilet; I was a very quiet and shy person, scared of what people would say if I spoke, thinking that they may laugh at me or make fun of me. I was not good at making conversation; nor did I respect myself either. Alcohol helped me to not be like that.

My Mum and Dad divorced in 1990. Dad made a move to South Australia, where his cousin lived, and it was the happiest I had ever seen him. Fast forward to 2001; my Dad passed away from cancer. I was devastated as he was my rock, my support, my lifeline and he was gone. I gave up smoking once that happened, as I knew the cumulative effect of everything in which he had done in his life until that point resulted from that. My Dad was also a smoker, but it wasn’t because of that why he died, and I didn’t want that for me. Now, this may sound weird or not right to some people, but my Dad died for me. I know if that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have given it up. It could have been something far worse for me and my health.

My 4-year-old daughter and I moved back to Sydney from South Australia as we lived there for a few months whilst Dad was sick. Once I had given up smoking, I found a research program on Nicabate patches. It was for ten weeks. We had a diary, and they give us the first two weeks of patches for free, after that, we bought our own, plus they would call you to check on your progress. Well, after six weeks on the program, I was smokefree, and after four weeks, I didn’t even need the patches.

What’s amazing is when you have a big enough WHY to do something and you decide things come into play to make that happen and it did.

I had always been a skinny child, not a problem with my weight at all until I gave up smoking, then compensated for other habits like muffins and biscuits. I weened myself off them. When I gave birth to my daughter in 1997 and had two stepchildren, one and two-year-old, I was busy looking after the family and working. I lost my identity in the relationship that I forgot about me. I didn’t even realise I was losing myself. Eventually, I turned to ‘Sureslim’ and lost some weight there. I was feeling good about myself, but because I went there every week, once a week, I lost motivation and didn’t reach my goal. So, I went back to my old habits. In 2010 at the ripe young age of 41, I had my son, who is now ten years old and an Uncle as well I might add. Around 2013, I started doing PT sessions, and my doctor was helping me with an eating plan. I lost a little, and I got strong with the PT, but that was it.

2016 was the turning point for me. I was not in a happy place with myself, and my body was feeling it. I suffered sciatica, and my leg would ache continuously every night, visiting the chiropractor every week. There was a seminar a friend recommended to me that I attended, afterwards I met with the host with my then-partner and one thing that stuck in my mind that he told me was to lose weight. I took on board what he said. I wasn’t offended; it was what I needed to hear to get me into gear. Remember, I said when you decide to do something, and if that WHY is powerful enough, then things come into play to make that happen. This is where it all began. My best friend and I always did things together, and she had helped her lose weight, so I went along with her to a talk she invited me to. From that night is where the journey started for me on the road to wellness, and I have not looked back.

I lost 16 kgs and reached my goal in four months; determined to reach my goal as I had a strong emotional reason WHY I was doing it, my son. Being an older mother, I wanted to be there am not that shy girl anymore. I am a big believer in affirmations, self-education with reading leadership and self-development books, listening to motivational audios and podcasts.

for him growing up as someone who had the energy. That was healthy for my life and his. I lost another seven kgs after hitting my goal weight. I wanted to run; I had so much energy, and if anyone knows me, I don’t like to run, but that’s how I felt. My energy levels today are still up there like that. Yes, sometimes I have lacked motivation, but I always kept going as the habits we learn while on this journey keep you going. Whether I feel like it, I walk every morning and listen to motivational audios. I feel so good afterwards; it’s that feeling of doing it and achieving it that makes you feel good. This is only part of my routine, but it sets the day off right.

As part of this journey, we get the honour to encourage others on their travels, and that’s what opened up my eyes. Being a part of someone else’s journey, you build a rapport with them. I didn’t realise what a difference a bit of encouragement each day can do to help them, not only them, but it helps you. Hearing story after story, after story, even today touches your heart. It touched mine so much that I wanted to become a coach to help others. I didn’t know what it meant or what it involved, but I love helping people, and I couldn’t think of a better way in which to do that.

I wasn’t brought up in a household that encouraged. You weren’t told they loved you, and you weren’t shown it, either. At least not until your parents are grown up. That didn’t mean they didn’t love us and want the best for us; it’s just who they were.

I had some friends that had seen the change, and once they decided they would like to do it as well, the entire ball game changed. You are the example; people are watching you, and because of you they start. It all begins with them seeing your results; then they want the same. You want everyone to feel how you’re feeling because you’re feeling on top of the world. Once I saw their changes and heard them share their story, it was very emotional as these are people you care about.

It’s not just about the physical shift in weight that for sure is going to happen; it’s the mind shift more than anything. Managing the self-talk and what we say to ourselves is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. This is a journey of self-discovery, and I know I have learnt a lot about myself. I can honestly say that most of my self-development and changes have come since coaching. It has changed the way I talk; I know my worth, I now know I have something to give, I am valuable, and I

Who is your inspiration, and why?

Louise Hay is my inspiration, and a lady I genuinely admire. She had a tough upbringing. She healed herself from cancer. Life didn’t have meaning for her until her mid-40s when she started a small publishing company and teaching in her 50s. She wrote her first book at 55 and took classes to learn about computers at 60. At 70, she had her first garden and became an avid organic gardener who grew her own food. She took a children’s art class, changed her handwriting at 75, and graduated in an adult’s art class. Louise started selling her paintings and took up yoga, and at 76, did ballroom dancing. She passed away in 2017 of natural causes at 90. She is living proof that age is no barrier, and you are only as old as you feel.

I am 51 years old, or young, I should say. I have a 23-year-old daughter with a 5-month-old granddaughter; two-step children aged 26 and 25, and a 10-year-old son. I want to be a great example of health (in mind, body and spirit) fit and strong with unbounded energy for my kids and grandkids who are happy and have a love for life for the rest of my life. I will not be a burden on my family or society. I am responsible for me and my health, no one else.

Is there a challenge in your journey that stands out that may inspire others?

One of the most significant challenges for me is continuously stepping outside of my comfort zone. I was a person who was not confident, quiet, hid behind others and not want to be in the spotlight. Self-image and self-worth were lacking as I didn’t think what I had to say was important, scared of what others would think if I said something. I felt like I was being judged. WOW!!! What a list.

Part of my journey was sharing my story of why I started; I was a complete mess as speaking in front of a group of people frightened me. Still, to my credit, I did it. I did it again, and again until it was something I just did naturally. A lot of learning and growing, especially once becoming a coach that’s when it stepped up. I love being a coach, but there was a lot I had to grow within me, still learning and growing, that’s something that won’t stop for me. I am committed to learning, developing and growing myself for life. I am not the same person I was when I started my health journey. I want to become more involved with the community in the near future.

I was challenged with negativity in the home environment, I would switch off and keep making my journey, as the support that was being given begrudgingly, and it was great. Still, mostly it was like a dog always at someone’s heels. It doesn’t make for a happy place to be. When people are scared and resist change, they want to pull you back to where they are and how you were before, as that’s how they liked you then. They don’t want to get left behind and looking back on this fear can bring out the worst in people.

What or who motivates you to be a change-maker – especially during these challenging times?

My reason kept me going, my son, but I know for sure, if I didn’t have the support of the coaches and the team of people encouraging and supporting me every day, I’m not sure if I would have gotten through it. Connecting with people is so important

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as it’s all about trust. You will lose weight, and find you again if you’re brave enough to take the journey. Not everyone will, as it requires commitment. It’s about you investing in you. What value do you place on you and your health? I know I didn’t want to end up like my Dad. I know you are worth it, but do you know you are worthy? You will learn to be patient, kind and loving to yourself as the relationship you have with you is the most important one you can have as you are with yourself 24 hours a day. What did I get out of it or still getting out of it? Me finding me.

Life has ups and downs, so does this journey; anything worthwhile is not smooth sailing. I didn’t expect a weight loss journey to be like this, but I am happy I stuck around. I associated with like-minded people on the same path in a positive environment that kept me going.

Is there any advice you would like to offer anyone else who may be interested in pursuing the same path?

My advice to anyone wanting to start on their health journey. There’ are a lot of things out there that you can do to lose weight and get healthy. Don’t fall for the fad diets, shakes or a quick fix, go for something that will teach you the right foods to eat, educate you on nutrition and health and get walking. Be accountable to someone daily, preferably a coach or a health professional, as that’s what will keep you on track.

The question you need to ask yourself is why is losing weight and getting healthy is important to me? What does healthy mean to you? You need to define your reason; it needs to be big enough and emotional for you to reach your goal. You also need to be 100% ready a 10 out of 10 - ready to go.

What are the valuable lessons you have learned along the way in the industry?

There are three valuable lessons I’ve learned. First is the discipline of my daily habits. Every day they have kept me going, no matter what I’m going through. Every morning I walk, and I make sure that each night my clothes are ready for me to go in the morning, a simple discipline I have done since starting in November 2016. Second is my thinking has changed; our weight results from the thinking we have and how we see ourselves. Through self-education, a personal and leadership development program to help address the reflection is something I listen to every day as part of my morning routine. It has changed the way I think of not only myself but others, my life and still is and I am forever grateful for that.

I can see the potential in people just like my coach saw for me, and what they can be, what they can do and who they can become. The hardest thing for any person to do is to lead themselves, which has been probably the biggest lesson of all. Every day, you must lead yourself before anyone else will follow, and there are days when you don’t want to, but you do it anyway.

What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

I love spending time with my family and friends. I love my walking and dancing - now that is something I absolutely and truly have loved since I was a child: music, singing (not professional by any means), gardening, yoga and meditation. I do enjoy the beach, picnics and swimming (not a strong swimmer but have always loved the water), walking in nature.

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