DEBBIE KEMP PARENTING ANXIETY A Request for More Love and Acceptance

Does anyone else smell the judgement in the air? It seems to start as passionate opinions, and it gets expressed in a way that is designed to make people feel ‘less than’. In recent months I’ve seen people called stupid, idiotic, and other words I can’t bring myself to type. I feel so distant to all of that, and I want to offer you a moment of reflection. We currently live in a world of some very polarising thinking… Do you think that people are stupid because of what they believe? Do you think that anyone isn’t as good as you because they don’t have the same understanding or perspective that you have? There’s been something about the last few months that has brought to the surface a collective interest in what everyone else is doing, saying and thinking. Once upon a time I heard the phrase “What you think

of me is none of my business”, and I liked it. It communicated a sense of detachment from the judgment of others. In these times however, I feel like it’s harder to detach from such judgement than it has been in the past. We’re being told how to live by Governments, media, workplaces, and strangers. I want to be careful here, not to make this article about the specifics of public health or Government legislation, because I want to focus on the love and acceptance that is so needed in the world at a time like this, and always. As a community, we’re not familiar with the concept of keeping social distance, or going into isolation. Some people are heavily supportive of these measures, no doubt because of fear that’s related to a potential outcome. Others believe that it’s an unnecessary restriction, causing more harm than infectious disease. Rather than weigh in on that, I want to ask…

Can we all come to a place where we respect each other’s perspectives, have compassion for each other’s fears, and hold space for each other’s needs?

Can we put down the ‘word weapons’ at a time when love and acceptance are so needed? People are losing loved ones for all sorts of reasons, and some people haven’t seen those loved ones for months. Can we collectively have some compassion for those who are craving one of our most basic human needs? Can we collectively have some compassion for those who are truly suffering from a lack of connection? I think, that as a community, it’s high time we got more compassionate and more accepting. None of us are the same. None of us have lived the same life. None of us have endured the same traumas. None

of us can ever truly understand what is going on for another. How dare we have the audacity to judge each other?

Why don’t we just choose love?

Stepping aside from recent ‘public health strategies’, I want to make sure that this article isn’t just applicable to this unusual time, or this specific health crisis. I see people using their social media to share their views on a wide range of topics, and I see judgement there too. People are told that they don’t know what they’re talking about, that they’re putting others at risk by sharing their views, and sometimes they’re told some really heartbreaking things that I won’t repeat.

Could we just choose to hold space for what others are so desperate to share with us? Could we choose to be open-

minded to a range of possibilities? Could we choose to be okay with a world where many of us see things differently?

I see many people holding an attachment to everyone thinking the same way, only accepting specific information as true or possible, and expecting everyone to ‘fall into line’. I’m not sure that’s possible in a world of so much difference, and I also acknowledge that some of the most amazing discoveries of all time have been made because a person dared to go against the grain, dared to think differently to the norm. Do we really want to ‘slap people down’ for that? Do we really think it’s necessary to criticize people for their differing perspective, which was of course born from their own unique experiences in life? Imagine a world where we so embraced difference, that we eagerly listened to each other tell our stories. Imagine a world where we didn’t make any of the stories, or any of the story-tellers, wrong. Imagine a world where our collective acceptance of each other expressed a sentiment of “You do you and I’ll do me”.

Maybe all we have, as a tool for meaningful connection, is love and acceptance.

What if we could all find a place of connection, despite dramatic difference, because love and acceptance flowed through all interactions? It’s kind of mind blowing, isn’t it? Yet drastically simple. It’s a choice, and a behaviour. I wonder, what can you do, to bring more love and acceptance to the world? Imagine the impact and the ripple effect that would occur, if we all committed to that outcome.