f.a.i.t.h.

f.a.i.t.h.

Stories of faith and inspiration from women in Nofolk County First Issue April 2015

www.f-a-i-t-h.com

32 Robinson St. Simcoe ON 519-428-0371

www.f-a-i-t-h.com www.f-a-i-t-h.com

To contact or submit for the next issue please email info@f-a-i-t-h.com To contact or submit for the next issue please email info@f-a-i-t-h.com 1

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Getting Involved Right W here You Are 6 Rockin' The Struggle 7 Just Let It Go 8 Women of Faith in Norfolk Featuring Cora Luff 10 Nobody Loves Broken

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In This Issue

Volunteers cheerfully serving at the Simcoe Soup Kitchen pg 5

14 Pre-Planning For Victory Featuring Lila Musikov 16 A Mother's Heart and a Prodigal Son 17 Finding Help in Norfolk 18 Mourning Turned to Joy 20 Breaking Free

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A Word Of Thanks

This first issue is dedicated to my mother Bronwen Wood. This woman has forever believed in me, and has forever told me that God had a plan for my life. She has loved me unconditionally, and never ceased praying for me. Even when I didn't think I'd make it through, I would call her just to hear her say that God wasn't done with me yet. I love you mom. Thank you.

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photo Donna Heimpel

From The Editor For as long as I can remember I have felt a unique sense of purpose. Even at a very young age no one had to tell me that God created me for a purpose, and with a purpose. Don't get me wrong, over the years my sense of divine calling seemed to play hide and seek at times amid life's trials. I would love to tell you that I never wavered in my belief that my destiny would eventually unfold. I am human. I wavered.

Fast forward several years and hairstyles later; I find that perhaps I am here, now, for such a time as this. I believe that so too are you.

With this in mind, I long to join together with other like minded women who desire to strengthen the Kingdom of God - right here - in the unexciting world of the everyday life.

The truth is that our purpose is part of a much bigger picture. We are part of one family, each uniquely stationed at a different post, tasked with carrying out the message of the gospel.

Discovering our own purpose is an ever-unfolding adventure that becomes more defined with each step of obedience.

We need a gathering of women right here in our own section of humanity. Women willing to step out in their unique purposes and strengths. Let us join together and impact eternity in Jesus name!

Kate Pereira 4

Getting Involved Right Where You Are There are so many causes out there these days, and all of them are near and dear to someone's heart. So many well intentioned people asking for your time and your money. I myself have grown weary of being asked at the cash register for a donation, it seems to happen so often. I feel uneasy about it to be honest; I don't really think my money is going that far after all the administration costs etc.

But then on the other hand I don't want the cashier or the person behind me in line to think I'm some sort of heartless person. It's a personal inner struggle.

I want to make a real difference in peoples lives, and for the longest time I thought that meant doing something huge - like going to Africa and digging wells by hand while teaching the village children to singJesus Loves Me. Or something like that. Something exciting. Obviously only the big exciting endeavors are meaningful right?

I know this is not really true, we sometimes need reminding that it's often the little things that have the big impact. There is clearly great need right here in our own community, along with an opportunity to serve and to grow.

We need to learn to be proactive about investing in our own churches, small groups, friends and community outreaches. Asking God for ideas and insight about what kind of personal ministry would refresh those around me? Where are the needs, and how can I provide for them?

Let's say you do have a burning desire to do something bigger though, like tackle human trafficking, addiction, emergency relief efforts etc. (I admit, I'd still like a trip to Africa). Don't just blow off local activities and events already on the calendar, sign up in hopes of meeting like minded peeps.

Perhaps your church might not know about a need, and you could bridge that cause's problem with your church's solution.

But back to the local. I would like to showcase community causes and charities here in Norfolk for us to support and get involved with.

One such wonderful cause is the Simcoe Soup Kitchen. It is run by the St. Vincent Paul Society and operates out of the Knights of Columbus Hall three days a week during the winter months. They will be wrapping up for this winter soon, but are busy planning for the next winter season. The charity, funded largely by area Catholic churches, also supports about 90 families in the Simcoe, Delhi, and Waterford area with groceries while a second group in Port Dover helps families in that area.

The volunteers come in group form from local churches. For more information you can call 519-426-0887.

Women's Ministry can be a deep well of knowledgeable women, who are maybe hesitant to go it alone, but eager to join forces with others. Talk to people, ask questions. Use the phrase 'what if we...'

See where it takes you! (send in your community project info to be featured in the next issue)

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Rockin' The StruggleBut, how many of us can boldly proclaim that we

Article By Paula Duarte Remember the 80s? W hen big hair was in?

W ell, I like most giddy, teenage girls back in the day had big hair. And, if I do say so myself, I rocked big hair. I recently just saw a pic on Facebook which captured a gentleman in a suit jacket and a bow tie. His caption was, “rockin’ the bow tie. ”I’m almost certain that most of us can confidently proclaim that we have “rocked” this or “rocked” that, at one point or another.

C’mon, what man, in his macho moments, hasn't thought that he has rocked a stache?

Or how about the gal who thought she was all that and a bag of chips in the high heels she wore to her prom, even though her gait was that of a chimpanzee?

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have rocked a difficult challenge, rocked an unexpected adversity, rocked inner turmoil or rocked a seemingly, mountainous struggle? I've encountered a few terrible, tormenting days, moments and situations here and there. If you're human, so have you. The initial shock and natural responses to such episodes have left me feeling deflated, discouraged and emotional. Self-doubt has kicked in and made its presence wildly known. Or how about those ridiculous personal, professional and financial sagas that have crept in viciously yet slyly upon you, all at the same time? Unwelcome and embarrassing. How's the attitude been then? Defensive? Excuses? Anger?

Or, all of the aforementioned? I would expect to hear all of the above. After all, you are a unique creation, made naturally to feel, to respond or react, on some level. However, when the heart is done with the raw and the tears are no longer rivers, when the panic has quieted and the mind has mellowed with clarity, in the fullness of time, may reassurance pierce your thoughts "My grace is sufficient for you; my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 Sometimes, it takes a gentle thunder to capture one’s attention and awaken the dormant giant within. In the heart, in the mind, in the being. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10 Look beyond the unachievable impossible.

Forward, onward to the achievable possible. Not overnight, but over yonder. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me "Philippians 4:13. Grasp tightly onto integrity, work it out and wait it out. The outcome may arrive as a sweet, unexpected, refreshing result. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 W hile plodding through the muddy weeds dear friend, keep rockin’ the struggle.

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Just Let It Go....Seriously...Did you just say that?

Just let it go. When you are going through a struggle, this feels like one of the worst things someone can say to you. 'Just let it go.'

Really? For me this advice may cause some facial grimacing, perhaps followed by thoughts of gently slapping a well-meaning smile off someone's face; then telling them to let that one go. I’ve never actually done that, just admitting I may or may not be the only person to have ever thought it. Maybe it’s the ‘just’ that some people put in front of it, making it sound effortless, as though letting go is something that could be done on command.

Sometimes, we don’t want to let go. What is familiar is often comforting. Not that something painful is comforting; but perhaps holding onto our own justification of why something hurt us, seems for a time to help us through. When we justify feeling the way we do, perhaps we see no need to let go. We are just fine thank you very much. Knowing that someone doesn’t deserve our forgiveness because the hurt goes so deep; or that something was just so unfair might keep us from ‘just letting go’. We can get defensive and say ‘but it’s complicated’. I agree with you sister - it always is.

Perhaps you think you own your feelings instead of your feelings owning you. If any of this is resonating with you on any level, may I take a moment of your time and challenge you on your thoughts. Take a few minutes and reflect on some of the more difficult issues in your life. Determine if they warrant ‘letting go’.

Search your heart to see if you have let them go, like really and truly let them go. Try writing it down or journaling, even if you've never tried it.

Writing can be a form of release. Put aside the trendy gratitude journal just for the moment (I can’t even find all the ones I’ve started over the years) (#justkeepinitreal). Perhaps it’s time to try something new.

What if we start a Let It Go journal. I am certain there will be no problem filling the pages. As long as we are here on this earth, there will forever be things to let go of.

Letting go is different for everyone. There is no one right way. Just as we are all unique individuals, so are the methods that God can use to help bring us healing. Some of us require dialog, others symbolic gestures, maybe reading or writing. We often need some sort of closure. Whatever it may be, we all handle things in a slightly different manner.

Having had some difficulty myself in this area, I am much more compassionate when I see another's need to let go. Truth: it's always easier to see it in someone else. My approach is softer now because I have been there.

Perhaps it may be that letting go of a hurtful situation all at once feels overwhelming, or that your pain is being minimized. It's frustrating when people suggest you do something, but then don't tell you how to do it. Or maybe they do tell you how, but it's such a ridiculous idea that your imagination slaps them for a second time. So not only do you have to let it go, but now you also have to repent for mind slapping them twice.

But seriously, before you can figure out the solution you need to acknowledge the need.

Problems don't often solve before they are realized.Take time today for realization.

Perhaps it is time to take an emotional inventory. Are there negative thoughts or feelings you are overstocked in and you know you really shouldn't be? “Search me God, and know my heart” Psalm 139:23.

For nothing is impossible with God Luke 1:37.

It is difficult to let go, yet thankfully not impossible. On our own so many things are messy and hard to do, but if we choose to let God in and give Him some room to work, the results are far more effective.

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Meet One of Norfolk's Women of Faith Featuring Cora Rice Luff

Cora and Craig Luff Cora is a vibrant and lovely lady who is joyfully serving her calling as a pastors wife. It does not necessarily define all of who she is, but she embraces the title wholeheartedly as a calling all its own. Her husband is Craig Luff, lead pastor at Calvary Pentecostal Church in Simcoe Ontario. They have been married for 18 years now, and have three beautiful daughters.

Cora is simply delightful and was gracious enough to answer a few questions for me.

As church goers know – the pastor is always front and center as the leader of the flock.

We don’t always get to know the silent strength behind the man (or woman). But Cora has opened up and shared from her heart some of the uniqueness of her calling.

In fact she says she always knew she would marry a pastor.

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Even as she doodled Craig’s name on her binders way before he had answered the call on his own life, she knew. (That is actually something he enjoys bragging about from the pulpit – the doodling) I love how she always knew. I am fascinated by people who always knew, they have the best stories. In fact Cora tells that she remembers in elementary school her teacher asking everyone in her class what they wanted to be when they grew up. Cora specifically answered that she was going to be a pastors wife.

Sort of gives new meaning to the verse ‘Call the things that are not as though they already were.’ (Romans 4:17) Cora sure called that one!

Cora and Craig went to Bible College together and Cora received her Bachelor of Theology in Christian Education. She says that this helped prepare her for her role in ministry as a pastors wife. As she tells it, she never felt she had a preaching kind of gift, but knows that God has used and continues to use her in other areas.

Cora smiles as she recalls growing up “In my home it was normal to see my mom and dad on their knees in prayer each day. My mom was definitely my role model, she prayed for anything and everything. She would always say that nothing is too big or too small to bring to God. She never worried about tomorrow because she knew God was already there.” That’s good stuff right there.

Even though we know something like that, it’s good to hear it every now and then to refresh us.

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Cora continues “One thing that stood out to me from what my mom said and I have carried out – is to give God thanks in advance for what He is about to do.” Cora’s parents raised 12 children to love Jesus and live for Him, which I think deserves a silent Amen – or an audible one if you are alone in the room.

I asked Cora to share something that she was surprised to find was a challenge in this role. I love to know what challenges people and how they deal with issues gracefully.

Gracefully being the key word. You can learn a lot from observation, and I know I personally have a lot to learn. Cora gives a wonderful example: “First starting out in ministry as a pastors wife, I don’t remember foreseeing the possibility of people disagreeing with my husband (as a pastor) to an extent where it can bring him down and break him a little.

I guess I have always known that not everyone will agree with or like e the pastor. However when the pastor is your husband and the father of your children; and he comes home discouraged and hurt, it is in no way easy to see or experience. As his wife I strive to encourage him and pray things through together with him.” Pray things through together – wise words. As I get to know Cora I am reminded more and more of Proverbs 31:10.

I also asked her what she would tell her younger self from the viewpoint of knowing what she knows now. “I would tell my younger self that Ministry may be God’s calling on your life, but that does not give you a life of all roses and sunshine.

There will be a lot of struggles and moments of frustration. All we can do is have faith that God will lead and guide us along the way. We must continue to trust Him in every circumstance that comes our way. ‘The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it’ 1 Thessalonians 5:24’.

Cora seems to me to be a gentle and quiet spirit. It is also apparent to me that she has a strength deep within. A strength that comes from a place that is between her and God. When asked what advice she could give others in this role Cora doesn’t disappoint.

“Be yourself, allow God to do what He wants in your Life and ministry. If I had to change myself to please everyone at church each time, I would be lost and any joy of serving would be lost as well. Live your life one day at a time and allow God to lead. Be willing and open to follow.”

Cora loves that she is right where God wants her in this role for her life right now. She loves meeting new people and building wonderful friendships. “I love hearing and seeing firsthand how God can change someone’s life. At times I even get to see it happen right before my eyes and it is always uplifting and exciting!”

Calvary Pentecostal Church 509 Ireland Rd Simcoe www.calvarysimcoe.com Sunday Service 10:30

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A pull-quote gives any layout an extra punch and helps break up large bodies of text.

Nobody Loves Broken stand motionless motionless on the beach amidst the I stand debris after after the the storm. storm. I stare out at the debris waves. The The breeze breeze gently plays with my hair waves. as IIwatch watch the the last last of the storm blow away. as feel weathered. weathered.

IIfeel continue toto stare stare out at the vast expanse IIcontinue of water water and and contemplate contemplate the word. If I of thought toto look look itit up I would find that it thought means ‘worn ‘worn by by long long exposure’. The means meaning seems seems appropriate. It also means meaning overcome, withstand, withstand, or to survive. toto overcome, Yes, weathered weathered isis how I feel. Long exposure Yes, damaging emotional emotional elements of a storm toto damaging that raged raged for for more more than ten years. The that storm was was massive massive and included so much storm more than than just just one one aspect of pain in my life. more Weathered.

Weathered.

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Part of me is still a little dazed from it all, skeptical that I am in fact still standing. Part of me is still a bit confused. Is it over, is the storm really over.. I made it? I survived what I felt that in the middle of the storm I would not survive… Could it really be that I am now standing in the midst of calm?

Weathered is different from battered. I have been battered. The storm indeed battered me beyond recognition for a time. In the midst of the howling, raging, screeching storm; I felt that where my physical body appeared to be was actually just a big heap of wounded emotion lying battered in a puddle on the floor. My eyes looked at people, but I did not really see them. My mouth spoke to people, but it felt lifeless with empty words. How I walked around like this for years astounds me.

I close my eyes and feel the gentle breeze against my cheeks. I sway slowly and relax my body. A vision comes to me of myself.

Back in time.. back before I was weathered… back when I was battered. I can feel the hot tears forming behind my closed lids. I feel the warmth of them run down my cheek as I recall myself. Helpless and hopeless. I almost feel as though I could reach down and touch the crumpled body I picture on the floor of despair. In my mind I reach down and pretend as though I am stroking the hair back from my tear stained face. I look into the empty eyes. "It will be ok" I whisper to my battered self, "you will be ok. You will make it through." The vision ends.

I smile through the tears, still a bit in awe that the unending storm has ended. I’m wary still. Wary of being optimistic, a feeling that had long been foreign to me.

But this new feeling signals to my soul that there may be hope. I have waited so long for hope. I permit the feeling access to my being. It is so good I am almost afraid to give it ground. But I do. I allow myself to be still and feel the small tendrils of hope.

I am now no longer battered. I am weathered. There is a strength in being weathered that I did not know. I have weathered the storm. I have made it through.

I wish someone had told me that I would make it. That I would survive the assault of emotional damage that just would not let up.

Wave after wave of pain, grief, guilt and regret. I would look up occasionally, hoping for relief.

None came. I longed for understanding. I longed for rescue.

The vision returns and I see my crumpled, battered self on the floor. "It will be ok", I whisper again from the other side. My battered head raises and I see my eyes blood shot from crying.

"NO" I scream “you don’t know what it’s like, you don’t know what has happened – you don’t know what I’ve done- IT WILL NEVER BE OK". But I do know.

One does does not not accept accept this this I know now.Time will help. One it’s cutting cutting your your soul soul in the midst of the pain, when it’s the weight weight of of it.it. in half and you cannot bear the worth, we we forget forget that that Sometimes we forget our worth, were good good and and can can be be there are parts of us that were good again. amnesia. The The battered battered Guilt and pain have caused amnesia. recall. Just Just existing existing cannot think straight. It hurts toto recall. punishment, not not relief. relief. hurts the soul. Time felt like punishment, know", II whisper whisper toto the the "You are stronger than you know", no strength strength back back crumpled battered heap. I felt no on the the bottom bottom of of then, back in the storm. I lay on the pain pain of of the the despair, open and exposed toto the fighting. You You stop stop fighting fighting onslaught. I had stopped fighting. there and and let let the the when you give up hope. I lay there unfair life life life life crash crash painful salty waves of an unfair knew that that II would would against my open wounds. I knew drown. I was always surprised surprised when when II would would surface for air.

Why am I so hard to love? I must must be. be. II feel feel so so far far removed from normal that I have have evolved evolved into into something unlovable. My pain pain makes makes me me mean. mean. II become mean to those who try try toto love love me, me, try try toto help me. They cannot reach me. me. II don’t don’t let let them. them.

They turn away from my anger anger and and my my hatred. hatred. IIcry cry as I watch them leave. "Please "Please don’t don’t go", go", IIsilently silently beg. But of course they can’t hear hear me. me. II have have scared them away. I fall back again again battered, battered, into into the waves of the overwhelming overwhelming and and never never ending ending storm.

"You are worth loving", I whisper whisper toto my my wounded wounded self. I can see the shaking of my my head head no. no. Inside Inside II know that I’m not. I know that II am am broken broken and and II cannot be fixed. "Nobody loves loves broken", broken", IIsob. sob. My My weathered self allows a slow, small small half half smile. smile. "You "You are worth loving", I whisper gently. gently. "You "You will will be be loved again".

"Where is God?" I cry. "Can’t He He see see me"’ me"’ IIam am not not sure if God has left me here inin this this pitiful pitiful heap heap of of despair, or if I have put myself myself here here with with all all my my hideous life choices and overwhelming overwhelming regrets. regrets. My My regrets slowly eat me alive at night. night. ItIt isis painful painful toto be eaten alive by thoughts you you cannot cannot stop stop from from running rampant through your mind. mind. II lay lay inin my my guilt, guilt, knowing I deserve to be there. there. II am am unable unable toto get get myself out of this deep dark pit. pit.

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The darkness from the storm begins to lighten, but still I am too busy hurting to notice.

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‘Just let go’ people told me. But I could not. I could not let go. My fingers were contracted from years of holding onto the pain and the guilt. When I tried to open my hands to let go I just could not. It hurt to hold on, but I could not let go. My weathered self looks down at my battered self and whispers again. ‘You will let go. You can’t see it yet, but you will let go.

You will start to let go so slowly that you aren’t even aware you are doing so. ‘ You will be ok. You are stronger than you know. You are worthy of love.

You can and you will let go.

I lay battered in an emotional pool of blood and I ask God for mercy. My soul is barely breathing. I ask Him over and over and over and over.

Mercy. God have Mercy.

Mercy is there.

It seeps in slowly. So slowly I’m not even aware it’s happening. I don’t realize as I lay in the storm that mercy is taking root within my battered and wounded soul.

The storm lessens but I don’t notice it right away. I am still too busy hurting and waiting for the next wave of pain. I continue to cry out for mercy and the waves slowly begin to subside. The power of the storm begins to relinquish its death grip on my soul.

You will be ok. You are stronger than you know. You are worthy of love.

God will show mercy.

The darkness from the storm begins to lighten, but still I am too busy hurting to notice. The overwhelming despair is slowly beginning to fade as I cry for mercy. It is slow, time is slow. I finally begin to notice that the storm is dying. Now I am afraid. All I’ve known for so long is the storm.

What will happen to me when the storm is over? I did not expect to survive it. I panic. What if the storm comes back? Stronger? My weathered self smiles again. You will be ok. You are stronger than you know. You are worthy of love. You are letting go. God is showing mercy.

I very slowly stand from the crumpled and battered heap and dare to survey the scene. This new scene, where mercy has silenced the storm.

There seems to be some quiet hope in the aftermath of the devastation.

I am afraid of hope. I stand there for a long while. The waves come and go again, but I feel as though the worst of the storm has passed. I’m nervous. I feel it fading and I’m nervous and wary of happiness. It is an unfamiliar feeling. I long for it so intensely but I am holding it at arm’s length. I am forbidding happiness from entering my soul. For now anyway, while I let it all sink in. Mercy has really ended the storm.

You will be ok. You are stronger than you know. You are worthy of love. God will show you mercy.

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I stand up battered, but with new strength in my limbs as the last of the storm rages on its way out. I have been slowly letting go and haven't even realized it until it has happened. As I lifted my hands upward crying for mercy, they slowly opened and released my guilt and pain. Mercy has finally surrounded my weary battered soul.

I stand there silently for quite some time, still a little unsure of the end of the storm.

Unsure of my deliverance. I’m afraid to move in case the storm comes back. I’m afraid to breathe in the calm in case it is not for real.

I stand still until I realize that God’s mercy is for real. It will not go away. I close my eyes and breathe it in slowly. It does take time, but I allow the battered parts of my soul to be healed.

I am no longer battered.

Now I am weathered.

Weathered is good.

I speak life to you now. You who are crumpled and battered on the ground and know that you will not survive. I speak to you who are where I was. I whisper to your weary soul: You will be ok. You are stronger than you know. You are worthy of love. You will be shown mercy.

Ask for mercy. You will receive mercy. And you will be ok.

In 1988 we opened our first “Lighthouse” Christian bookstore in Simcoe Ontario. Our foundation and support is the Word of God, the Lighthouse is of no value if it is not solidly positioned on the Rock…

Our vision and purpose is to get the “Good News of the Gospel” into the hands of everyone we can. We offer Bibles, books, gifts, music, and more to provide our customers with products that will “touch” the hearts of others, and make a difference in their lives.

Our locations in Norfolk County 32 Robinson St. Simcoe ON 519-428-0371 1017 Bay St. Port Rowan 519-586-7770 13

Pre-planning for Victory She would tell you that she never had any intention of letting cancer win this battle in the first place.

Article by Kate Pereira and Lila Musikov

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My best friend and I grew up together, we went to high school and then college together. We even had our kids at the same time. I'd like to say we matured together but we both know we haven't really, not yet anyway.

We don't always need a lot of words, we just 'get' each other. She grew up in one church, and I in another. I have never seen her with short hair or without a skirt. She has seen me with several interesting haircuts, and usually wearing jeans. Still, we are best friends and planning side by side mansions the next side of heaven.

Our theologies differ on some things, but we always respect each other and love each other. We went to different churches, but at school it was a comfort knowing that someone else at least believed in Jesus.

And as we have gotten older and somewhat wiser, it has been a comfort to freely pray for each other and share scripture in times when our laughter has turned to tears.

Then one day I received a phone call that shook me to my womanly core. My best friend calmly told me she had breast cancer and would be having surgery in the next few weeks. She held it together in one city, while I fell apart in another. Peace that passes all understanding radiated from her voice, while mine shook with tears and disbelief.

She did not ask God 'why me' , but I asked God 'why her?'. I sincerely dislike unanswered questions, my mind needs to understand in order to process. However spiritual life is not always wired that way.

What with faith being the evidence of things unseen and all.

While my friend is going deeper with God and learning daily how to rely on the promise of His word, I am learning daily from her. If you read her Facebook posts she appears just thrilled to be able to help others at the hospital while she herself endures her own treatment. I'm fairly certain I wouldn't be thrilled at all. I see her smiling at people while I stand beside her and inwardly feel that this is so not fair.

My friend is strong. And while I always knew she was, she is learning that she is too. That with God all things are possible, including facing fear with faith.

If you asked her how she was doing, she would look at you and laugh. She would tell you that she never had any intention of letting cancer win this battle in the first place. In fact she is busy planning a skydiving jump as a celebration once her treatment is complete and she has healed.

I love that about her. I am inspired by that about her. I am making my own plans to be safely on the ground videotaping for her.

My very brave friend has preplanned for victory. I really want you to understand how important that is as a mindset.

To believe you are on the winning side before you even start gives you the advantage over the enemy. "Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57 If you are battling something today, although it may not be easy - plan for your victory, it will help you endure the fight!

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A Mothers Heart and a Prodigal Son Sometimes, when we encounter a troubled young person, a thought that may come to mind is 'well look where they came from'.

We tend to analyze their issues from that viewpoint. But what about when you are the parent who has done everything right?

Well most things right, no one is perfect after all. Having a child off course, no matter what their age is devastating.

There were several mothers who wrote about their grown children's addiction issues. How it not only wreaked havoc in their child's life, but also in theirs. How they suffered as all they could do at times was watch helplessly from the sidelines.

Sometimes all you can do from the sidelines is pray. We know that prayer is powerful, but still - it is painful to watch your child suffer.

This is a growing issue and I wanted to give voice to the mothers out there. You are not alone. Here is one woman's journey.

I want to share the story of how God has touched me….I have a son who is an addict.

It has caused my family much pain and struggle over the last six years. My son went from being a loving, caring pre-teen, to a very troubled, lost soul. I felt helpless as I watched him fade into darkness and become buried under a blanket of druginduced chaos.

No matter what I did to try to help him; speaking with physicians, therapists, insisting on medical testing, even going so As told by Margaret Talbot 16

far as to call the police and have him arrested, I could not help my son. He was in and out of juvenile detention more times than I can remember. I spent many hours sitting in court while lawyers, crown attorneys and judges, passed sentence after sentence on my son.

It would seem common sense to me that an addict cannot see any further than his next ‘high’. As soon as he walked out of the courtroom, he was in search of the only thing that mattered to him. It was heartrenching to watch and destroyed my faith in our legal system. I tried time and time again to find someone who would listen to my plea for help. Not one person in the professional community offered me any hope of finding help for my son.

I felt lost. The grief and sadness overwhelmed me. My son wasn’t dead but ceased to live. He had no ambition, no hopes, and no goals. Nothing could prepare me for the realization that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change him. I was his parent and I couldn't fix it.I had failed.

My heart was broken, and I cried until the tears would come no more. This is when I finally put my faith in God. It's hard to hand your child over to God. We don't often want to admit it's hard to trust that God has a plan and things will ever turn out good.

It was really difficult, but I handed over my grief and asked for His help. This time it was different. I prayed that God would have a plan for us, and that I would be open to allowing Him in.

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I stopped trying to 'fix' my son on my own.

I began a daily prayer time - I didn't bargain with God, but asked for his daily guidance in leading my son to health.

It hasn’t been an easy road for the past two years. My son has been in a residential treatment facility for troubled teens. I think it's important for parents to accept that this type of situation does not resolve overnight; you may feel that time is your enemy. Take comfort knowing that God will have the ultimate victory. I hold close the verse in Joel 2:25 where God says that' He will restore to me the years that the swarming locust has eaten.'

My son had a choice to make. He could continue on the destructive path he’d be going or he could choose to seek a better life. He was reluctant but I felt God’s guiding hands at work. Upon entering the program, my son quickly developed a relationship with one of the staff there. It is important to pray for the Lord to bring people into your child's life that will mentor them and guide them. This person gently helped guide him towards finding his path to God. There have been many ups and downs but as time goes on, my son is getting closer to God. I am so thankful that he maintains sobriety, and is looking forward to a bright and exciting future! No mother wants a life of hardship for their child. No mother finds it easy to see pain and suffering in their children. I thought I was alone. I was scared and couldn’t see any hope. I put my faith in God and asked Him to guide me. I have every reason to believe my decision to trust God’s plan, has saved my son’s life.

I continue to look to the future with joy and hope, finally content with the notion that I am not the one in control.

Finding Help in Norfolk If you or someone you know are struggling in this area you need not feel alone. There are many others who are going through the same thing, or have been there and can offer some advice or just be there to listen.

Connecting with your pastor or a spiritual mentor would be ideal, ask if they know of any beneficial support groups or counselors that are trusted.

In our own community there are some resources available, even in crisis situations.

Community Addiction and Mental Health Services of Haldimand and Norfolk Simcoe:Member driven community program supporting people living with a mental illness, mental health challenges and/or addiction. Program supports recovery, wellness and quality of life through social recreation and educational opportunities, peer support and advocacy.

519-428-0580 or 1-888-477-3717 Simcoe Drug and Alcohol Addiction Hotline: 1-800-565-8603 Haldimand and Norfolk Women's Services: 24 hrs: 519-426-8048 or 1-800-265-8076 REACH: REACH provides a crisis intervention service, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Callers will receive immediate telephone support 1-866-327-3224 REACH offers confidential counseling for individuals, couples and families.

17

W ritten By Cindy Avey

Cindy and Anson

For two and a half years my husband and I had been trying to conceive a child, the last two years of which I spent seeing a fertility specialist. We finally conceived in February 2014 through IVF (in vitro fertilization). We were delighted and ecstatic about the amazing miracle that God had blessed us with, but our joy was cut short on March 15 when I had a miscarriage. We were devastated; our hearts crushed.

A few days after the miscarriage, I was driving home from a doctor’s appointment and talking to God. I recall my thoughts and prayers were a jumbled mess of confusion, anger, sadness and hurt. It was in that moment that God spoke into my confused and hurt world using three words: “I am God.” To this I replied, “I know Lord, I have known this all my life …,” and I continued my monologue of pain. He spoke again, directly and distinctly into my heart: “I am God.” At that moment, I took in the full gravity of those three words and I was changed. I have known the Lord my whole life and needed to take a stand on what I knew to be true: God is in control and there are some things in life that happen and it is not for us to question His motives or timing or actions, but to trust in Him and remain steadfast in our faith. I can honestly say from that moment, I was emotionally 18 healed from my crushed and broken heart. I shared

my journey to many who knew our situation and soon after my husband also came to the same point of healing and surrender to God. Some time went by and we looked with interest to the next IVF procedure that we could do. At the time I was also struggling horribly with allergies and skin issues ... so was distracted from moving forward with the IVF quickly. In the meantime, it was Easter weekend and after our Good Friday service our pastor spoke to us and said that he had been praying for us and he believed the Holy Spirit wanted him to tell us that God sees our situation; that He is in control and do not worry.

We nodded in agreement, accepted that encouraging word and went on our way, with thoughts of the next IVF dancing in our heads.

More time went by in the busy spring and I remained focused on my raging allergies, giving little heed to the fact that my monthly cycles had not resumed. I expected the stall was just due to the miscarriage, and hormones needing to square themselves away. I saw the specialist and he gave me a prescription, which I filled, but let it lay untouched on the counter. Then my niece asked me (after I told her how unusually tired I had been): “Are you pregnant?”

Cindy and her family attend Boston Baptist Church

Boston Baptist Church 2985 Regional 5 Road W ilsonville (519) 443-7344 My response was a quick and easy “Noooo, I don’t think so.” But then I began to wonder silently about that question, recalling the weariness and frequent stops for snacks on my way home from work … could I possibly be pregnant … without IVF? It was now the first Saturday in June and I took a home pregnancy test. It was positive, but I didn't tell my husband about it because I thought, ‘it couldn’t really be; it must be wrong.’

On the following Monday I went to the fertility clinic for a blood test, because I knew those were much more definitive. I told my husband later that morning that I had gone for the test. "Wouldn't it be amazing if God were writing this story in a whole different way ... without IVF?" Incredibly, he said he had been thinking the same thing that morning on his way to work. Wouldn’t it be amazing?! Later that day, we learned that God had done the amazing! After years of trying with medicines and procedures ... God had begun knitting together what only He could do in His own timing! We were stunned, amazed, humbled and speechless, yet ever so thankful to the One who does immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.

A few days later I had my first ultrasound where I learned I was already 9 weeks 2 days pregnant.

There was more stunned silence, this time with a free flow of tears as I looked at the image on the screen of our precious child, moving within my womb. What I learned a few moments later, gave me further reason to pause: The date the technician gave for when the baby had been conceived matched perfectly with the timing of when the pastor shared what God had laid on his heart. At that time, beyond our wildest thoughts or imaginations, God was indeed already knitting together what only He could do! And as icing on this miraculous cake, the baby’s due date was January 12, 2015 – my husband’s birthday.

Our healthy, beautiful son was born on January 7 this year, and we all came home from the hospital on January 12 – the best birthday gift imaginable!This has been such an amazing journey that has given us opportunity to share our faith and give glory to our awesome God. No matter what mountain you face, know that God is able. He sees your every need (Matthew 6:26-33), and your heart’s desires (Psalm 37:4). He is above and beyond all things – place your trust in Him. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God (Psalm 19 20:7).

Breaking Free

"Turning fifty was great for me, I finally felt alive, I felt like I really had been created all over again."

These words came from this lovely, radiant lady with such kind eyes sitting across the table from me. I actually thought she was sharing how she had just turned fifty, when she smiled and admitted she was in her sixties now. My own smile got bigger, she looks fabulous and I feel encouraged by her.

My new friend we will call Hailey, looks healthy and vibrant and alive from within. As she opens up and shares what she has lived through and triumphed over; I cannot imagine from looking at her that this could be possible.

Hailey shared her 'before fifty' life with me and as I listen, I, like her doctors am amazed she is here today.

Hailey grew up in a very abusive home. Her mother beat her, used her, and would profit from her. So it was from a very early age that she felt her worth was zero. She was bullied at school as well, she knew that she just wasn't good enough for anything. How could32 she be if the people who were supposed to love her treated her this way. She finally ran away from home at the ripe old age of thirteen, and experimented with whatever would numb her reality.

She was pregnant at sixteen.

This came as a shock. Hailey 20

had no real idea what she was The more she learned about doing as she was still so young her thinking patterns and herself. At nineteen she planned lifestyle choices the stronger to take her own life and that of she actually felt. "Educate her young son. She could see no yourself", was part of her other way out of her pain. She advice. "You need tools to help said it was only selfish thoughts you recover from anything you that stopped her. If she survived are facing". Hailey says she and her son didn't, she would had to learn how to forgive her then have to live with that guilt as mother. "It was really hard, but I well. learned that forgiving someone After that Hailey lost herself in a doesn't mean you accept their world of addiction. As she tells it behavior. Forgiveness is really the only emotion she really felt more for you than it is for was pity for herself. Why was them." she even here since her life was It was a long road for Hailey, such a living hell? but she persevered feeling She began having health God's love and guidance. She problems and went to see a went back to school and even doctor. This is when he told her graduated with honors . he didn't know how she was still "Nothing is impossible with alive. Hailey says this is what God! The first fifty years were prompted her thinking about her pretty rough, but the next fifty purpose in life. If she was are going to be fabulous." Her supposed to be dead and yet eyes dance as says "Keep she wasn't, was there a reason? smiling!" If this lady can smile, This led to her searching. then I can smile. But I was She started going to church and smiling anyway, God's learning scriptures. She laughed redemtive power is so as she told me how she would amazing. That and over fifty is literally stand on her bible while looking pretty good. praying, and telling that she ON Robinson St. God Simcoe was standing on His word just like He519-428-0371 told her to. One of her favorite verses is how having faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.

"Sometimes that's all the faith I had" she says. "But it was also all the faith I needed"

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