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The Grubtown Daily Herald Special Edition
FROM THE DESK OF FLIMFLAM MIDWAY (VISIT GRUBTOWN EDITION)
Grubtown Wins the Golden Pineapple Town Stunned. Mayor Faints. Three Flattened.
cheated the years that they won,’ said Chief Hanson. ‘Werty always smells of unwashed dog and Limp is famous for being less fun than finding a mould-covered flannel in your lunchbox. I expect Grubtown to keep the Golden Pineapple from now on. Especially because I refuse to give it back.’
From our seriously injured correspondent
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fter many years of trying and spectacularly failing, Grubtown has finally managed to win the Golden Pineapple Award for being the best town this side of the River Dump. ‘What’s most amazing is that we won it without cheating,’ said Grubtown Chief of Police, Grabby Hanson. ‘Two years ago, we almost won the pineapple by moving the River Dump so that we were the ONLY town this side of it – if you ignore the fact that the world is round – but we were told that this was against the rules. This year, the Golden Pineapple is ours fair and square. . . or gold and pineappleshaped.’
Daily Herald reporter writing this article from his Grubtown Hospital bed). Mayor Gomez also knocked over one of his multi-deckered sandwiches, injuring a further thirtyfive people. ‘It’s not that I didn’t think that Grubtown would ever win the best town competition,’ he later explained at a hastily convened press conference from behind an On hearing the news of this glorious enormous slice of chocolate cake, victory, Mayor Flabby Gomez fainted, ‘it’s just that I never thought that landing on three members of the Grubtown would ever win the best press (including ME, the Grubtown
Inside this edition of the Grubtown Daily Herald: Inside Grubtown Journalism Competition Winner and Runners-Up!
EXCLUSIVE
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3–5
Pull-Out Map (definitely not an actual map of Grubtown) 6–7 Slerch Break: Games & Puzzles 8–9
The Grubtown Tourist Board’s Website ‘a great success’ (according to Grubtown Tourist Board Manager, Flighty Bitpart)
From the Editor’s Desk
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Sneak Peek at Trick Eggs and Rubber Chickens
11 Flimflam Midway
Attempts by the duck-hating Fox family to STOP duck-loving Grubtown from winning this year’s competition were thwarted/ scuppered/sunk/defeated by Grubtown’s resident medal-winning The Golden Pineapple heroes Jilly Cheeter and Mango Claptrap. ‘We were just doing our town competition.’ When it was duty as loyal Grubtowners,’ Jilly pointed out that his statement made Cheeter told reporters, who were no sense whatsoever, his brother more worried about finding their Hacking-Cough Gomez took the stolen clothes. (They were later microphone and drowned out all found by Chief Grabby Hanson, who further comments from reporters had taken them in the first place.) with his impressive hacking cough. He didn’t put his hand in front of his ‘I will be declaring a day off school to celebrate Grubtown’s victory,’ Flabby mouth. Gomez announced, ‘just as soon as Previous winners of the Golden we’ve built some schools and hired Pineapple award include the towns some teachers, which could be any of Werty and Limp. ‘They must have time within the next 150 years. There is,’ he said, ‘no rush.’
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aunched this year with a ceremony attended by Flighty Bitpart, his assistant Fergal Twine and two ducks (the other guests having got lost on the way by using the ‘map’ on the new website) www.visitgrubtown.com has been called a ‘great success’ by both Mr Bitpart and Mr Twine.
Grubtown website, I can!’ He then ate three plates of sandwiches – including the plates – out of ‘sheer excitement’.
The Fox family is currently boycotting the website, because of what they call ‘insulting and libelous claims’ made against them during the Golden Pineapple scandal. However, At his weekly press conference, the Fox family doesn’t actually own Mayor Flabby Gomez announced: a computer, or have an internet ‘It changed my life. Before there connection, which is probably the was the Visit Grubtown website, real reason behind the boycott. I coudn’t visit the Visit Grubtown website, but now there is the Visit