Four courses, five stars.

Who could resist travelling from France to babysit grandchildren? Within 24 hours of your arrival your son unexpectedly invites you to join him at a fine-dining family restaurant for a 4-course evening meal.

Icouldn’t resist – I jumped at the opportunity and I’m not in the least sorry I did because this was one of the very finest meals I’ve ever had in a restaurant – not least of which was because NOT ONE of the courses let down the others. We’ve all had excellent experiences, but there’s usually a down-side or course which knocks the experience from the top spot; not in Bohemia though.

Despite the near-freezing temperatures outside, the welcome warmth of the restaurant and bar induced a swift removal of layers which were rapidly whisked away – and the welcome from the staff was equally warm. This was partly due to the fact that my son knew some of them, but they’d not known me and were friendly and welcoming nonetheless.

As the cocktail waiter began preparing our predinner drinks we had a chat with Dimitri, the Maitre d’ and Tim Philips, the Hotel Manager. What warm, friendly people they are.

I’d never previously tasted an Expresso Martini and was warned that I’d go home at 11pm, wired up and ready to start work, but there was – fortunately, perhaps - only time for one of these before we were called to our table. I didn’t even get a sip of the Hemmingway Duquari my son was enjoying.

The mis en bouche was a small venison tart, which I liked because the meat hadn’t been over-dealt. The other taster was a crisp, creamy onion truffle mousse in a sugared crunch of pastry – savoury, yet smooth.

The menu was a joy with no fancy titles followed by an explanation – just a clear outline of what to expect each course to contain, such as:

Jerusalem artichoke, Granny Smith apple and smoked eel; my choice, and it was simple, compact and exactly what it said it was going to be. I could taste the apple in the base of artichoke, but I have no idea how they achieved the flavour of the topping on that little tart – the whole thing was totally sublime.

The beetroot entrée was described thus: Manor Farm beetroot, hibiscus and goat’s cheese tart; Horseradish

How do these simple ingredients sound to you? Because you’d have to taste the combination to appreciate the experience of this small, almost chilled but mighty, tart with a crisp base and such delicate, beautifully rich flavours dashed with a kick of horseradish. We’ll be trying to replicate this when we get home, but I’ve no intention of laying out the whole menu for you, here. You’ll have to go and try it for yourself or check online. But DO try it.

Having been introduced to the sommelier, he advised a red wine for me and a white for my son – a Pauillac and a Chablis were delivered to our table with a flourish.

One course down, three to go – and so we moved on to our second course. For me that was Roasted Veal Sweetbread Roscoff Onion, Comté & Yeast Flavours Wild Garlic, Veal jus. I loved the sweetbreads (another new sensation for me; they’re pancreas or thymus glands no matter what you might otherwise have thought) and the other choice was mackerel. Both were amazing.

My companion opted for Cured & Torched Local Mackerel, Cucumber, Jalapeno & Buttermilk. The mackerel was simply presented but the flavour was heightened by the addition of pickled cucumber which fused well with the charred flavour. It was a `light’ dish, but thankfully so – since this was the new 4-course menu.

The sweetbreads looked interesting indeed, but when the `jus’ was poured over it, the sauce which was already present turned into what could only be renamed `Martian jus’ – tiny green blobs appeared everywhere. I noticed it was served on a very complimentary, themed plate. Alongside the sweetbread was a poached or steamed (I presume) small onion and the combination was just perfect; light and delicious.

Meanwhile a bread platter was tucked into –with two types of bread roll and two of butter, one of which was seaweed. I asked if I could acquire any of this to take home with me, but we think it’s not for sale on the island – unfortunately (plus Brexit rules, but…)

The wine was running out and we were no longer hungry but had plenty of room for the next presentation – and what a presentation….

My companion had the cod, which was cooked with a hazelnut crunch in a tapenade-stye coating. The textures were subtle and we decided the jus mixed with the potato was as eternally satisfying as any combo-gravy-mash from childhood, but with an almost caramel aftertaste.

It was served with Lardo di Colonnato, which Wikipedia so kindly informed me is “ a type of salumi made by curing strips of the pigs back fat with rosemary and other herbs and spices. Lardo di Colonnata is cured in a marble basin. The most famous lardo is from the Tuscan hamlet of Colonnata, where lardo has been made since Roman times.”

Thank you Wikipedia.

I had the duck breast. I have cooked duck breast dozens of times and in many different ways, but never, ever have I managed anything as perfect and succulent as what I ate that night – it was perfect. Who would have thought to add the flavours of rhubarb and pistachio to duck? And we weren’t ashamed to fight over the duck-fat brioche we shared to scoop up the duck jus which remained in the ramekin either – positively juvenile!

Having experienced a recent leaning towards vegan eating, my son stated that irrespective of social norms, polite behaviour and etiquette, you know when you’re making the most of things - and that this is a clear indication of menu approval and appreciation.

We were coming to a close and neither of us thought we could manage or finalise the meal with the more fulsome flavours of cheese, so we both had the chocolate dessert. Two sticks of loveliness beautifully decorated with blobs of dark, noisette and white chocolate and topped with a mousse and gold leaf. It was very striking, not too filling and more-to-thepoint, for me, not too sweet. The perfect finale (I might still have managed a cheese course, had I been pushed to it).

We were two very satisfied customers.

We wholeheartedly recommend that – special occasion or just mid-week treat – the 4-course menu at Bohemia is something never to be regretted or forgotten.

Bohemia 4 Courses Menu

Jerusalem Artichoke, Granny Smith Apple & Smoked Eel Manor Farm Beetroots, Hibiscus & Goat Cheese Tart, Horseradish 0oOoo

Jersey White Crab Meat, Brown Crab Pannacotta

Blood Orange & Fennel

Roasted Veal Sweetbread Roscoff Onion, Comté & Yeast Flavours Wild Garlic, Veal jus

Cured & Torched Local Mackerel, Cucumber, Jalapeno & Buttermilk

Slow Cooked Bantam Egg, Celeriac, King Oyster, Black Truffle 0oOoo

Charred Broccoli Steam, Purple Sprouting, Stilton Walnuts, Grape & Port

Roasted Greedy Carvery Spiced Duck, Kohlrabi, Pistachio & Rhubarb Duck Fat Brioche, Duck Jus

BBQ’d Poached Cod, Potato, “Lardo di Colonnata”, Roasted Hazelnuts

Sherry Dressing & Wood Sorrel 0oOoo

Selection of Artisan Cheese from Jean-Yves Bordier (16 supplement as extra course)

Bahibe Valrhona Chocolate, Islay Whiskey & Seaweed Caramel £89 Per Person

All our prices are inclusive of G.S.T. A 10% service charge will be added to the bill

If you have a food allergy, intolerance or dietary requirements, please speak to a member team about ingredients in our dishes before you order your meal.

The Bohemia Four Course Menu is available now priced at £89.

Reservations

01534 880588

We didn’t have coffees but the warm Madeleines presented in the most beautifully, locally manufactured Bohemia boxes still arrived to finish things off!