Experience Over Stuff by Sandy Robson
“Stuff is contributing to our discontent in so many different ways, because it is taking the place of the things that actually do give us more happiness.”
—from The Minimalists: Less is Now (trending Netflix documentary)
he global pandemic has taught us about both the strength and fragility of our connections to one another and of the critical importance of time we spend doing things together. With the recent holiday season behind us, if it was the people and activities you found yourself missing, rather than the things associated with the celebration, you are not alone. As much as the joy of Christmas often relies on things—turkey, tree, gifts, decorations—it is the memories made through our experience of those things and our time together that bring us to happiness.
Humans are by nature a social species with complex relationship and social groupings and being separated from family, friends, coworkers and a larger community is difficult on our mental and physical health. It is also a very human stress response to turn to things to replace our loss of connection. During this extended period of isolation, many of us have tried to seek comfort in online shopping. A day rarely goes by without a FedEx/Amazon delivery truck sighting in my neighbourhood. But the things we buy do not necessarily lead to lasting happiness, as our excitement over possessions tends to fade as the newness wears off and the possession blends into the background of our lives.
It is the novelty and ever-changing nature of an experience that keeps us in a heightened state of awareness, and presence in the moment that can lead us to a happier, more engaged life. According to Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, “One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation. We buy things to make ourselves happy, and we succeed but only for a while. New stuff is exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.” An experience doesn’t just keep you happy in the moment. Even the memories of a past experience can bring us back into the sense of excitement and wellbeing that we had initially. Research also indicates that even when the entire experience is not smooth sailing—like 7 PASSIONS | WINTER 2021
