8 minute read
Experience Over Stuff
by Sandy Robson
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—from The Minimalists: Less is Now (trending Netflix documentary)
The global pandemic has taught us about both the strength and fragility of our connections to one another and of the critical importance of time we spend doing things together. With the recent holiday season behind us, if it was the people and activities you found yourself missing, rather than the things associated with the celebration, you are not alone. As much as the joy of Christmas often relies on things—turkey, tree, gifts, decorations—it is the memories made through our experience of those things and our time together that bring us to happiness.
Humans are by nature a social species with complex relationship and social groupings and being separated from family, friends, coworkers and a larger community is difficult on our mental and physical health. It is also a very human stress response to turn to things to replace our loss of connection. During this extended period of isolation, many of us have tried to seek comfort in online shopping. A day rarely goes by without a FedEx/Amazon delivery truck sighting in my neighbourhood. But the things we buy do not necessarily lead to lasting happiness, as our excitement over possessions tends to fade as the newness wears off and the possession blends into the background of our lives.
It is the novelty and ever-changing nature of an experience that keeps us in a heightened state of awareness, and presence in the moment that can lead us to a happier, more engaged life. According to Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, “One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation. We buy things to make ourselves happy, and we succeed but only for a while. New stuff is exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.” An experience doesn’t just keep you happy in the moment. Even the memories of a past experience can bring us back into the sense of excitement and wellbeing that we had initially. Research also indicates that even when the entire experience is not smooth sailing—like a missed travel connection or long layover—when looking back on the memory we often see these challenges as something we got through and made the best of, which increases our feelings of strength and resilience and at the very least makes a good story to recall.
COLD WATER IMMERSION
As we head into 2021, still facing months of continued social distancing and COVID protocols, what can we do right now to experience our world when things like travel and gathering with friends are off the table? How can we find new experiences right here at home? Well, to start with, we have a huge advantage living here in the Fairwinds community on Vancouver Island. With our mild climate and easy access to the outdoors, there are many options to get us out and into the surrounding environment. Outdoor activities—including golf—are still allowed, and in fact, are being outright encouraged by our public health officials. Fishing, sailing, getting out in a kayak, going for a walk, hike, or meander, and exploring the beach, forest, and neighbourhood, are all easy activities.
But even if you are already out there walking, golfing and bird watching, there is something else you can add into the mix to help embed those experiences in your personal library of life is good memories… mindfulness! You are likely hearing about this practice a lot these days, and with good reason. The research is in, and growing, that mindfulness can increase our feelings of calm, fulfillment, resilience, self-esteem, creativity, and happiness. It also helps lessen the effects of stress, including anxiety and depression; improves our sleep; increases energy levels; and enhances our ability to learn and focus. No matter what you are doing to keep mind and body active in the coming months, add a little mindfulness for a happiness boost.
Emily Roberts
SALT PIZZERIA
FEEL THE RAIN, SNOW, WIND DON’T LET THE WEATHER KEEP YOU FROM GETTING OUT THERE. GEAR UP AND GO OUT!
Some ideas to change up your experience a bit
SUNRISE/SUNSET Take something you like to do, like walking your dog, paddling a kayak, or sitting outside with a cup of coffee, and do it at dawn or dusk. The light, the sounds, the temperature, and even the scent of the air, are all a little different at these transitional times of day. Just today as the daylight faded on a walk we had put off until much later than usual, my husband and I were treated to the sound of two owls conversing overhead before starting their evening hunt. It was magical and elevated our daily walk to an experience we are more likely to remember.
WALK THE BEACH Many of us are accustomed to strolling along the beach on a warm sunny afternoon, but have you tried doing so at night? A low tide and a full moon are an inspiring combination, and the absence of colour (because of the diminished light) in a familiar landscape makes it feel unusual.
COLD WATER IMMERSION
This one is trending out there in the world right now, but having tried it myself this year, I believe there may just be something to all the hype. And I am not alone in the ocean. Along with the occasional curious seal, I regularly see small groups of toquewearing dippers dashing out into the waves for a quick paddle about… and almost as quickly heading back to their towels. Whether the cold water has health benefits or not, the whoops and laughter—and there is a lot of it— and adventure of it all must certainly be good for body and spirit.
GO HIGH - GO LOW
Change your point of view by going to the top of a mountain or hillside. There is nothing like a sweeping vista to make you feel like you are king of the world. Or walk and sit among tall trees, perhaps even getting right down on the earth, to take a moment and gaze up into the forested canopy, you will feel rather small, yet connected, to the world around you.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT Take-out may still be the order of the day as we adhere to pandemic protocols, but you can use this time to experience something new. If you habitually pick up sushi for dinner, try schnitzel or tacos instead; explore Korean, Italian or Thai menus. Start your own best burger in town competition, and order from a new restaurant each week. From experience, I can say there are some great burgers being made in this community! Even if you have a go-to takeout restaurant and really like a certain item on their menu—and yes, Salt Pizzeria I am talking about your Della Carne pizza—take a leap and order something new to you. And when those local food trucks like The Knockananna Grill are open for the season, take a road trip to wherever they are parked and enjoy.
ARRANGE YOUR SPACE
No one is visiting us these days, so pull your favourite chair up to a window. Turn it to face the view and leave it there. Move your furniture around so that it reflects how your life is being lived right now. To refresh your visual surroundings, move art pieces, photographs, collectables, and houseplants to new locations. Situate your bed against a different wall. And (for the very brave) if you share a bed, switch sides… gasp!
NETFLIX PLUS
I am first to admit that I have never watched as much television as I have this past year. Thankfully, the selection of online viewing has never been as vast or varied. I have made my way through many series, have developed a serious addiction to The Great British Baking Show (and its Canadian cousin), and am in love with Simon and Daphne (Bridgerton), Ted Lasso, and quite a number of British detectives. Currently, I am dabbling in K-dramas (Korean romance and thrillers) and meditating with Headspace.
TRAVEL & LEARN There are a myriad of courses, seminars, concerts, and theatre presentations available to increase the cultural and educational content of your day. From Stratford Festival’s (STRATFEST@HOME) streaming service and watch parties, and Mary Chapin Carpenter’s Songs from Home on Facebook, to online MasterClass sessions allowing you to study creative writing with Margaret Atwood, guitar with Carlos Santana, explore selfexpression with RuPaul, and bake bread with Apollonia Poilâne… there is much to learn and enjoy.
Travel ranks high on the bucket list as experiences go, and a study by the TransAmerica Center for Retirement Studies concludes that travelers are happier and healthier overall than non-travelers. But if you have had to cancel international travel plans because of the pandemic, you can still find a little bittersweet inspiration with online tours of pretty much anywhere on the planet. Last June I took part in a virtual walking tour of Piccadilly via Zoom with London Walks, and discovered that Rick Steve’s travel website offers a directory of virtual tours led by many of his favourite guides throughout Europe, Scandinavia, Turkey, New Zealand, and Australia.
EXPERIENCES AWAIT
You can try something new, or something familiar in a new way. If you always read thrillers, read an autobiography; if you always eat cheddar, be brave and nibble some Cambozola; if you enjoy trolling for salmon, try fly fishing along a stream. And “use your money for whatever brings you sustained joy and helps you be your best self.” (Experience is Better Than Stuff, keepthrifty.com)
