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IN THIS ISSUE Your essential family guide for a great start to 2020!

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Issue 55 January/February 2020 familiesonline.co.uk

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Contents

In this issue Happy New Year,

and welcome to the JanuaryFebruary issue of Families Birmingham Magazine.

Let’s begin 2020 the way we mean to go on! In this issue you’ll find an abundance of activity ideas, educational opportunities and much more to get the New Year off to a flying start! Also, take a look at the Brain Tumour Research feature on page 6 where you are invited to get involved in ‘Wear A Hat Day’ on Friday 27th March, at the end of Brain Tumour Awareness Month.

Look for us on our social media pages familiesbirminghammag @FamiliesBirm to make sure you get in on all the latest local and national parenting news, views…. and lots of laughs! See you in the Spring!

Suzanne Brown, Editor, Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield Editor: Suzanne

Brown

Designer: 45 Degrees Design & Print Print: Warners Midlands PLC, Manor Lane, Bourne, Lincs, PE10 9PH © Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield, January 2020

Next issue:

4

News

6

Take part in ‘Wear a Hat Day’ 2020

7

How to encourage your child to have a positive body image

8

Education news

10 Participating in activities outside of school

6

8

12 New Year resolutions for parents

ADVERTISERS: Book now for our March-April ‘Easter’ magazine.

13 Using baby science to

Call Suzanne on 07807 352087, or email editor@familiesbirmingham.co.uk before Friday 7th February.

14 What’s On

soothe your newborn

12

© Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield magazine is part of Families Print Ltd, a franchise company. All franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under licence. Families is a registered trademark of LCMB Ltd, Remenham House, Regatta Place, Marlow Road, Bourne End, Bucks SL8 5TD. The contents of Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield are fully protected by copyright and none of the editorial or photographic matter may be reproduced in any form without prior consent of Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield magazine. Every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine, but Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield magazine, our distributors, the franchise company, Families Print Ltd and Lifecycle Marketing cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers nor for the accuracy of the contents, or any consequence thereof.

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News

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Air quality is worse indoors A new report into the state of air pollution in UK households has found that our homes are experiencing dangerous levels of indoor air pollution.

The report commissioned by Clean Air Day found that nearly half of UK homes have high indoor air pollution as a result of dangerous levels of formaldehyde and other pollutants.

The RSPB Big Garden Birdwatch takes place from 25 to 27 January and is the largest wildlife survey in the world.

Data also shows that outdoor air pollution adds to indoor air pollution; it builds up in the home, taking longer to disperse inside than outside.

According to the British Lung Foundation children are particularly sensitive to poor indoor air quality as their lungs are proportionally larger in relation to their body weight than adults and immature immune systems mean they are less able to fight off any problems that arise from polluted indoor air.

Sources of indoor air pollution include smoking, faulty boilers, open fires, gas cookers and heaters, as well as irritant chemicals from new furniture, air fresheners and household cleaning products.

More info: www.cleanairday.org.uk and www.blf.org.uk

FEBRUARY HALF TERM 17 – 21 February 2020

11-14 March at The NEC, Birmingham Family day: Saturday 14 March

For more information please contact reception or visit us at;

birminghambotanicalgardens.org.uk/whatson Find us on:

Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield

More info at www.rspb.org.uk

Exciting theatre shows, hands-on activities, interactive workshops, excellent careers information and much more!

There will be lots of fun activities for all weathers such as; Arts & Crafts, Bug Hunting and Story Trails!

4

The information collected helps monitor bird species in the UK, and is great fun for children.

To take part, you need to watch the birds in your garden or local park for just one hour at some point over the three days and report your results to the RSPB. You can request a free Big Garden Birdwatch pack from the RSPB which includes a bird identification chart and advice to help you attract wildlife to your garden.

To make it fun, challenge your children to see who can spot the most birds. Take a bike ride to a local park to look for birds, or make a day trip out of it and spot birds in a new place.

The Big Bang UK Young Scientists & Engineers Fair 2020

Wrap up warm and join us this February half term for some Winter fun in the gardens.

Your support keeps the Gardens growing

The Big Garden Birdwatch

AN EDUCATIONAL CHARITY

Where can science and maths lead to? Let your children find out through coding computer games, investigating plant DNA, cooking with a robot chef, measuring radioactivity in everyday objects‌ and much more!

Give your children a unique opportunity to explore where their future can take them at the UK's largest celebration of science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM) for young people.

They will have the opportunity to talk to thousands of scientists and engineers from leading companies across the UK. From sport and fashion to medicine and space, The Big Bang Fair helps young people explore the amazing opportunities out there in STEM and the routes into them.

Book your FREE tickets: www.thebigbangfair.co.uk familiesonline.co.uk

News

@familiesbirminghammag

The Chocolate Shed

S4 Swim School S4 Swim School have been providing the service of swimming lessons to thousands of children for over a decade. Hundreds of S4 swimmers have progressed to

County, Regional and National level competitions and beyond, thanks to the excellent pathways between S4 and other aquatic organisations (swimming, triathlon, water polo, synchro clubs, etc).

For more on the S4 philosophy visit www.s4swimschool.com

Member Reviews: “Fantastic lessons! Can't recommend them enough. My daughter loves it and they have been fab with my youngest who has only just started!” (Facebook) “My daughters took part in the intensive course and absolutely loved it. Was really pleased at the progress they made in such a short time, we have now signed up to regular classes and can't wait to see the progress they will make”. (Facebook) “Fantastic swimming school, the instructors are brilliant with young children, very positive and encouraging. Would definitely recommend”. (Facebook)

Celebrate your child's birthday this year with a fun, creative and yummy(!) chocolate-making party with The Chocolate Shed. Suitable for children of all ages. Party-goers get to design, create and decorate chocolate pizzas, frogs, pictures, bars or truffles to take home and enjoy. Parties tailored to suit your child's age & hobbies that will make their chocolate-y dreams come true.

Gender reveal parties The American trend of “gender reveal parties” to announce the sex of a baby is a growing trend in the UK. Celebrated at an earlier stage in pregnancy than a baby shower, a gender reveal party announces whether expectant parents will be giving birth to a boy or a girl.

Traditional ‘reveals’ include a cake with blue or pink sweets hidden inside, a pink or blue confetti-filled piñata or a guest taking off a hat to reveal a pink or blue wig.

But more dramatic announcements, including fireworks are becoming more and more common.

Helping your child to succeed in the 11+ exam!

January is a great time to start thinking about your child’s 11+ future and set goals for the coming year. By preparing early, children can identify any weak areas and steadily improve their skills. It’s also a good time to consider sitting a KSOL mock exam, to profile their ability and alleviate any nerves, as they’ll know what to expect on the big day.

Brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer

Using over 16 years of experience, KSOL can help your child achieve 11+ success with personalised online 11+ tuition and authentic exam experiences.

For more details on mock exams and KSOL’s New Year Offers on online 11+ courses, visit www.ksol.co.uk or call 0121 733 6558.

TUMOUR

BY A BRAIN D TE TA S A DEV SHOULD BE NO FAMILY

Just

1%

Sign up today for your

of the national spend on cancer research has been allocated to this devastating disease

FREE

FUNDRAISING PACK

www.wearahatday.org Registered charity number 1153487 (England and Wales) SC046840 (Scotland). Company limited by guarantee number 08570737. familiesonline.co.uk

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News

To advertise email: editor@familiesbirmingham.co.uk

Would you rent clothes for your baby?

Babies can get through an alarming number of outfits in a day, so there’s no getting away from the fact that you will need plenty of sleepsuits in different sizes, each of which will only fit for a matter of months or weeks. So how do you avoid ending up with piles of clothes your baby has outgrown?

For more and more new parents, the answer is simple: rent.

Two UK companies have introduced an alternative which they believe solves this problem as well as being affordable and environmentally sustainable by reducing waste. The alternative also reduces time spent by parents constantly re-selling and purchasing clothes.

Families pay a monthly subscription, return outgrown clothes and then receive the next size up, in line with their baby’s growth and the changing seasons. Clothes are professionally cleaned and must pass quality control before being sent to the next renting family.

For more info, visit bundlee.co.uk or www.bellesandbabes.co.uk

CALLING ALL FAMILIES...

Wear A Hat Day needs you!

The annual fundraising extravaganza Wear A Hat Day is coming back in 2020 – Families Magazine and Brain Tumour Research are calling on you to get involved!

Wear A Hat Day 2020 takes place on Friday 27th March, at the end of Brain Tumour Awareness Month.

Over the last decade, this hattastic event has raised more than £1million in support of the charity Brain Tumour Research. It has become a mustdo event for many children and parents and their communities.

Taking part is really easy and the charity has some great ideas on their website to help you plan and host wonderful hat-themed fundraising events. Register today to ensure you get your FREE fundraising pack in time: www.wearahatday.org Brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer. No family should be devasted by a brain tumour. Wear A Hat Day is a really important campaign be involved with – not only is it great fun but with your participation, it becomes a powerful symbol of hope for all affected by this disease.

Funds raised will continue to help the charity build a network of experts in sustainable research at dedicated Centres of Excellence whilst influencing the Government and larger cancer charities to invest more nationally. Together we will find a cure.

Sleep lessons for school children School children across Britain may be offered sleep lessons to help tackle the problem of insomnia in young people.

Children and young people’s sleep is being seen as an increasingly important issue.

According to the British Medical Journal, there is increasing evidence emerging that lack of sleep has a major impact on children’s mental and physical health, as well as learning. A recent study by the BMJ

suggests that sleep has a greater impact on an adolescent’s mental wellbeing than bullying, physical activity and screen time.

The sleep lessons are aimed at children ages 7 to 16 years and are available as part of the PSHE curriculum. The lessons focus on giving children strategies for falling

asleep and raising awareness of how sleep needs change in adolescence.

Experts say the increase in sleep problems is down to a combination of

higher obesity levels, excessive use of social media before bedtime and a mental health crisis among young people

www.thechildrenssleepcharity.org.uk 6

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Parenting

@familiesbirm

National Storytelling Week National Storytelling Week takes place 1 - 8 February and is a chance to reflect on one of the oldest art forms in the world. We are all immersed in stories — from conversations during which we re-tell events in our lives, to watching our favourite television shows.

Speech and language therapists believe that storytelling is vital for children’s academic success as it promotes narrative skills and strengthens the ability of children to correctly sequence ideas. To be a good reader and writer a child needs firstly to be a good speaker and listener.

Above all though, storytelling is fun. Whether we are listening to someone else’s story or telling our own, inventing and adapting narratives can open doors to exciting new worlds — both real and imaginary.

National Storytelling Week takes place in storytelling clubs, theatres, museums, schools, hospitals, spoken word venues, and care homes. www.sfs.org.uk

Encouraging a positive body image in children

By Gabrielle Nash We live in a society dominated by images of perfected bodies, styled hair and flawless skin. It’s hard to ignore the endless stream of these on social media, television and magazines and our young children are even more vulnerable. As they

learn all about the world, they’re at risk of developing a negative body image. What might be startling is how early it can begin to develop. Between the ages of 3 and 4 a child begins forming important relationships which start influencing their image of themselves.

Constant negative messages about body ideals (weight/hair/skin) can result in negative health outcomes in a child; weight gain, binge eating and poor self-esteem, all of which can have a lasting impact. A positive body image enhances a child’s self-acceptance and self-compassion, as well as good physical health.

Signs of negative body image - Refusing foods because “it makes me fat” - Regularly commenting on body size or shape of others - Feeling self-conscious in certain items of clothing - Feeling self-conscious in PE

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If your child is showing signs of a poor body image, Dr Esther Burkitt, a developmental psychologist at the University of Chichester recommends you: “engage your child in a conversation about uniqueness and valuing difference rather than dismissing it if a child declares body dissatisfaction.”

Tips for encouraging a positive body image It is never too early or too late to start. Remember children learn their behaviours from you so where possible adopt a positive body image towards yourself.

Model good eating behaviour Enjoy your meals and eat a variety of food. If you’re trying to eat well, tell your child “I am trying to eat more fruit and vegetables because they’re good for me.”

Intuitive eating Katie Mcghee, a children’s nurse, recommends a promising new approach to healthy eating focused on eating to appetite: “Intuitive eating can be an empowering strategy for children to develop trust in their bodies resulting in positive psychological outcomes including a good body image.”

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find out more

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w w w. t h e w o l f r u n . c o m familiesonline.co.uk

Be kind Dr Victoria Cann, an expert in youth and gender from the University of East Anglia, believes we should “encourage kindness in children and to have an open heart, and to extend this kindness to themselves as well as others.”

Be media savvy When you can, engage with your children about images or statements you know to be negative and encourage them to challenge them. e.g. complain about an advert they feel is negative.

More from Gabrielle Nash @TheLondonishmum

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Education NEWS

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Why thinking should be a curriculum subject

By Dr Neel Burton Following his defeat at the Battle of Actium in 31 BC, Marc Antony heard a rumour that Cleopatra had committed suicide and, in consequence, stabbed himself in the abdomen—only to discover that Cleopatra herself had been responsible for spreading the rumour. He later died in her arms.

‘Fake news’ is nothing new, but in our Internet age, it has spread like a disease, swinging elections, fomenting social unrest, undermining institutions, and diverting political capital away from health, education, and good government.

So how best to guard against it?

Logic is a good start, but there is much more to critical thinking than mere logic. Educationalists often amalgamate thinking with logic. True, logic is able to provide immediate certainty and the authority and credibility that goes with that. But logic is a lot more limited than many people imagine.

Logic essentially consists of a set of operations for deriving a statement from other statements. In a sense, it merely makes explicit that which was previously implicit. It brings nothing new to the table. The conclusion flows from the premises as their inevitable consequence:

1. All birds have feathers. (Premise 1)

As a medical specialist, I have spent well over twenty years in formal education. With the possible exception of my one-year degree in philosophy, the emphasis of my education has been firmly and squarely on fact accumulation.

2. Woodpeckers are birds. (Premise 2)

Today, I have little use for most of these facts, and though I am only middle-aged, many are already out of date, or highly questionable. But what I do rely on—every day, all the time—is my faculty for critical thinking. As BF Skinner once put it: “Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.”

What’s more, logic is not concerned with the actual truth or falsity of the premises or, indeed, the merit or relevance of the conclusion.

But can critical thinking be taught? The answer is ‘yes’ - or, at least, the beginnings of it. So why not make more time for it and be more rigorous and systematic about its learning?

3. Therefore, woodpeckers have feathers.

(Conclusion)

Reasoning, in contrast, is a much broader psychological activity which also involves selecting and assessing evidence, creating and testing hypotheses, weighing competing arguments, evaluating means and ends, developing and applying mental shortcuts, and so on. All this requires the use of judgement,

which is why reason, unlike logic, cannot be delegated to a computer, and also why it so often fails to persuade.

Just as there is more to reason than logic, so there is more to thinking than reasoning.

To see the significance of non-rational forms of cognition, let’s hone in on the emotions.

With the decline of religion and traditional social structures, our emotions have come to assume an increasingly dominant role in our lives. It has forever been said that we are ruled by our emotions, but this today is truer than ever. Much more than reason or tradition, it is our emotions that determine our choice of profession, partner, and politics, and our relation to money, sex, and religion.

Yet, remarkably, the emotions are sometimes neglected by our system of education. Nothing can make us feel more alive, or more human, than our emotions, or hurt us more. To control our emotions is to control ourselves, and to control ourselves is to control our destiny.

Perhaps our school curriculum could make more time and space for thinking. And we need to rehabilitate alternative forms of cognition, such as the emotions, intuition, and imagination, that can support, supplement, or supplant reason and return us to wholeness.

Dr Neel Burton is a leading psychiatrist and author of Hypersanity: Thinking Beyond Thinking, which is out now, priced £12.99 8

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Education NEWS

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Making friends with parents at the school gate

By Tanith Care Bonds with other parents are critically important, not only for us, but for our kids. Not only do good relationships with the parents of our child’s classmates helps us feel more tuned in to what’s happening at school but bonds with other adults we meet at school can also help our children have easier, happier friendships themselves.

We are our children’s first role models when it comes to making friends. They closely observe how we interact – whether it’s being friendly and open to all, or being more reserved and sticking to more exclusive groups of parents. The more open we are to meeting other parents, the easier it is to support our kids’ friendships and help them develop a wider social circle.

So what are the best ways to get on well with other school parents?

Be friendly to everyone. Be prepared to talk to every parent in your child’s class, not just the ones you feel you have a lot in common with. Every human being deserves to be treated with basic courtesy, no matter who they are.

By role-modelling this for your child, you will be passing on one of the most important life lessons there is.

Set up playdates. Playdates are important for helping your child learn friendship skills, like compromise and turn-taking. When parents drop off or collect, be friendly and open and offer tea or coffee. Some may accept your invites and other may not, but either way you will be doing your best for your child.

Set up a social media group. If you are daunted by the idea of penetrating groups of parents who look like they all know each other in the playground, suggest setting up a WhatsApp or Facebook group, not only to support each other and set up play-dates, but also to get a better idea of who the kinder parents are. They are also more likely to have kinder kids.

Rise above competitive behaviour of others. . If another parent makes a competitive power-play, side-step it by drawing attention to the goals you BOTH have in common, whether it’s for your kids both getting better at Maths or for them both to play their best for the school team.

Let them sort out their own disputes. Many school gate relationships rupture when parents fall out - or start ignoring each other - because their kids have fallen out.

So unless your child is being targeted repeatedly by another child in an attempt to hurt them, let them resolve conflict for themselves.

For social-science based insights into how to help your child have better friendships and learn friendship skills, look out for Tanith’s new book The Friendship Maze: How to Help Your Child Navigate Their Way to Positive and Happier Friendships, published by Summersdale and available from Amazon (£10.99).

Norfolk House School

Family Atmosphere • Bespoke Education • Small Class Sizes • Competitive Fees

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Friday 7th February 9:30am - 11:30am “Pupils achieve excellent results in competitive entry examinations for senior schools” • “The social development of pupils is excellent” • “In the EYFS, caring, sensitive teaching ensures that individual needs are catered for, enabling children to make significant progress” Independent Schools Inspectorate 2018

An independent school for children aged 3 to 11 4 Norfolk Road, Edgbaston, Birmingham, B15 3PS | Tel: 0121 454 7021 Email: info@norfolkhouseschool.co.uk| www.norfolkhouseschool. co.uk

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Activities NEWS

& Camps

To advertise email: editor@familiesbirmingham.co.uk

Activities away from school Activities that take place completely away from the school environment don’t just keep restless children busy or entertained and help working parents manage their child’s spare time, they can also offer great developmental benefits that will help them academically, physically and socially

New friendships Outside of the school environment, your child is likely to make friendships with children that don’t go to their school and get used to socialising with children of all ages outside the structure of the formal school day.

Improving life & social skills Outside school activities provide an ideal environment in which to nurture social skills and confidence. Many extracurricular activities work to teach children the value of working as a team to achieve a mutual goal — a skill that

Action-packed childcare this

will benefit them in their future endeavours.

Boosting academic performance Discovering that they have a talent can give a child a new source of confidence or a passion that translates into their engagement and behaviour at school. For example, performing in drama club can improve confidence in speaking up in class and inspire creative writing.

Building self-esteem In a busy classroom it can sometimes be hard for a child to make themselves heard. Outside of school activities will give your child the chance to build their self-esteem. Most groups or teams are more intimate than the typical classroom environment, making them less intimidating for children. Children may also be more interested than they are in their lessons and will engage more easily with the activities involved.

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Positive role models Sports coaches, group leaders and other responsible adults who are sharing their skills provide role models and a valuable new take on the world for children.

Happier children Outside of school activities promote emotional well-being by allowing children to work off excess energy, relax their minds, and overcome the stress associated with school life.

Chance to shine

For more info visit aspire-sports.co.uk or call 0121 663 1979 See website for full details. Terms and conditions apply,

10 Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield

Outside of school activities offer your child the chance to be themselves away from the influence of their school friends.

Without being judged by their peers as “not cool” or “geeky” your child may thrive in developing new

outlet for creative, sporting or intellectual pursuits.

Promoting healthy hobbies Children with a regular activity are likely to spend less static time glued to a smartphone or screen and the interests that they develop during outside of school activities are likely to mean they spend more time practicing skills and pursuing their passions.

Explore interests & create broader perspectives When children participate in multiple different activities, they get the opportunity to explore a range of interests which subsequently broaden their world view.

Time management As children get older and move on to secondary school, being able to juggle different aspects of their lives becomes increasingly important. By attending classes, clubs or activities outside of school, your child will be taking on more responsibility for managing their schedule effectively.

Sense of commitment Students who participate in outside of school activities develop a sense of commitment to whatever they are involved in. This is because they have to commit to them and give them their all, and this commitment starts to extend to other areas of their lives.

A brighter future The skills and habits a child learns during his or her school years help to shape the kind of future they will lead as an adult. As a result, outside of school activities that promote everything from healthy-living habits, to leadership skills, good time-management, and better social or academic performance have plenty of advantages to offer.

Don’t push them Keep in mind that you shouldn’t push children to over-do it when it comes to extra activities.

It’s better for your child to choose something that they really enjoy doing and stick to it, rather than attempt numerous different activities that quickly become overwhelming, and may detract from their ability to concentrate on school work. Of course, you may also have the type of child that just wants to try everything, in which case, it may be best to let them do so and try to narrow down their commitments when you see which activities they particularly favour. www.nuffieldfoundation.org/outschool-activities-and-education-gap familiesonline.co.uk

Activities, Clubs & Classes NEWS

@familiesbirm

Rugbytots East Staffordshire and Sutton Coldfield Our fun, structured play sessions take children on a journey of sporting imagination with engaging coaches teaching them how to catch, pass, kick, run with the ball and play as part of a team.

Our motto is simple; "make it more fun".

We do this by delivering our specifically designed programme for each age group with energy, enthusiasm and excitement creating an atmosphere that is engaging for parents and children alike.

Classes are split into 3 age groups; 2-3.5yrs, 3.5-5yrs and 5-7yrs.

FREE tasters available!

Find your nearest venue at www.rugbytots.co.uk/Class/Find Contact matthew@rugbytots.co.uk • 0345 313 0803

MASQUERADE MUSICAL THEATRE Youth Theatre Group, Age 5+ Garretts Green Lane, Sheldon, B26 2SA Telephone: 0121 722 3761 www.masquerademusicaltheatre.com

S4 Swim School S4 Swim School offer swimming lessons and advanced coaching sessions to children and adults. School holiday swim intensive courses are also available.

• Excellent swimmer to teacher ratios

Woodland Play, Highbury Park Moseley

• Small group sizes, averaging 5 - 6 swimmers per group enhancing progression through the S4 program • Personalised swimmer achievement records (accessed via the online member area) • Downloadable term plans keeping you up to date with weekly lesson content

Ballet, Tap and Jazz age 2 ½ + Branches in Yardley and Solihull Telephone: 0121 448 0055 www.dubarrieschoolofdance.com

A family forest school with children aged 0-8.

We support additional needs.

Solihull Young Dancers

Please contact for more info email:

• A consistent professional approach at all venues (group structure, teaching standards)

DUBARRIE SCHOOL OF DANCE

DANCE & DRAMA

Ballet & Tap Lessons Classes from age 2 ½ + Tel: Kate on 07722 732678

hoccic@gmail.com wwwpeopleand land.org.uk

• On-going swimmer assessment • Taught the S4 way; producing swimmers with a high degree of skill & technical ability

Find swimming lessons near you at www.s4swimschool.com

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Diamond Swim Academy Swim with your child - fun for all, with kind caring instructors Diamond Swim Academy - the place to come for all lessons. Bring your little ones to either our Adult and Baby, Adult and Toddler or Pre School lessons at Langley School, Solihull. We run lessons from babies to school age at our stunning arm pool in Langley Primary School. Do you have other children at school, if so we can also offer exciting classes our other venues, or fancy a dip yourselves we offer informative Adult sessions too!

07756 088617 • 07706 485091 • info@diamondswimacademy.co.uk www.diamondswimacademy.co.uk

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New NEWS

Year Resolutions

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Why I want to be in the good enough parenting club By Claire Winter The pressure to be a perfect parent can be overwhelming; particularly when we are bombarded by picture-perfect family lives on social media. Mums who are juggling work and family life effortlessly and also find the time to bake cakes and look fabulous. Celebrities who seem to flit from the school run to photoshoots and still have time to take their kids to Judo. We don’t see the nanny, the makeup artist and the housekeeper behind the scenes. Most people don't share the messy chaos of family life on their carefully curated Instagram account.

So in 2020 shall we all agree to let go of the notion of being a perfect parent and instead start embracing imperfection? No one is flawless and raising kids who understand this is a positive thing. I am bringing up three teenagers and I often say to them: “I am learning how to parent just like you are learning how to grow up.”

When we strive to be perfect, we are showing our children that anything less than perfect is a failure. Making mistakes is a part of the growing up process.

Here are ten ways to be a good enough parent in 2020.

Embrace imperfection Being a parent is by far the most important and impactful relationship you can have. You will love and nurture your children throughout their childhood but they will still come back and ask your advice when they are adults.

You will both make mistakes and learn to forgive each other. Start learning to love each other's imperfections and you will build the foundations of a strong relationship for life

Love yourself Parents love their children unconditionally, but what about themselves? Try and silence the critical voice in your mind that says negative things about what you do. Increase the positive self-talk. Talk to yourself in the same way you would talk to your children or a close friend. Loving yourself means acknowledging that you are trying your best and that this truly is enough.

Learn to apologise Model the behaviour you want to see from your children. Learn to apologise when you do something hurtful, make a mistake, forget to do something or lose your temper. In this way, your children will learn how to make amends and start to learn when they need to say sorry too.

Have a life of your own Having a fun life separate from your children and partner is healthy and important. Make time for things like a weekly walk, book club, art class or spending time with friends. This shows your children how to maintain their own interests, hobbies and friendships outside the family unit.

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Take care of yourself Take care of yourself in mind, body and spirit.

Most parents put themselves last on the to-do list, and become resentful or unwell. Take time out for coffee, long baths, yoga or cocktails. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated, just something that makes you feel good.

Spend quality time with your children Make spending quality time with your children a priority. Even if it is for just 10 to 30 minutes a day. Don't be on a phone or a gadget; be curious, ask questions, and be fully present.

Listen Children communicate many things through their behaviour and words. Listen to your children carefully by focussing all your attention on them. You may not agree with all of their feedback, but allowing them the time and space to form an opinion will help them to develop their own self-confidence.

Develop a sense of humour Your kids will love a poo joke and there will be times when you are up to your elbows in it. Parenting is a massive rollercoaster ride and being able to see the funny side of things really helps.

Don’t sweat the small stuff The house being in a mess won’t hurt anyone! If you do want to get on top of the housework, get the kids to help. We set a timer and all tidy up together. It’s amazing what can be achieved in a short space of time if the whole family gets involved.

Allow your children to be who they are As a parent you want to shape, influence, and expose your children to as many opportunities as possible. But our most important job as parents is to allow our children to be who they want to be. We just need to support and cheer them on from the sidelines.

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Early Years NEWS

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Using baby science to soothe your newborn By Vanessa LoBoe Babies start learning before they’re born.

In the third trimester, they begin to learn about what’s most familiar to them, and develop preferences for these things, perhaps because they are comforting. For example, they develop a preference for familiar tastes and smells, like the smell of their own amniotic fluid, or flavours from their mothers’ food. Most importantly, there’s evidence that we can promote a soothing and sleep in the short-term and emotional development and even literacy skills in the long-term by leveraging the science of newborns’ love of the familiar.

One example is touch. In the third trimester, fetuses have typically grown so much that they fill up all the space that their mothers can provide for them, likely resulting in the sensation of being compressed, or tightly bound by the walls of the uterus.

The familiarity of this sensation could make swaddling—or being compressed tightly with blankets - calming, mimicking the feeling of being inside the womb.

In the same way, skin-to-skin contact might be particularly soothing as well, as babies are used to being surrounded by the warm pressure of the sides of the womb. Like swaddling, research suggests that skin-to-skin contact is related to better sleep and reduced crying, as well as a variety of other benefits including lower stress responses, and better established breast-feeding routines.

Besides touch, newborns also become accustomed to rocking and swaying in the third trimester, moving with their mothers’ bodies, swaying back and forth as she walks around during the day. In fact, babies are often born with day and night mixed up, since they are used to being rocked all day long as mum walks around, and still during the night.

The familiarity of the motion of walking could make both carrying and rocking soothing for a newborn as well. Research has shown that infants who are carried more cry substantially less than infants who are placed in front of a mobile. And although people might tell you that too much carrying will spoil your babies,

there is no evidence to support this idea.

One last preference that parents can use to soothe babies is familiar sounds. By the time babies are born, most will prefer the sound of their mother’s voice to all other voices, and there is evidence that they can even learn to prefer the familiar rhythm of stories that they’ve heard over and over again while in the womb. This could make their mother’s voice, and perhaps even familiar stories or songs particularly soothing to a newborn. In fact, even though you might be embarrassed to use your best “baby talk” voice out loud, research suggests that babies love the drawn out, high pitched nature of baby-talk or what researchers call “motherese”.

Vanessa LoBue is the author of 9 Months In, 9 Months Out: A Scientist's Tale of Pregnancy and Parenthood, recently published by Oxford University Press. She is an expert in the field of child development, particularly in infancy and she writes a monthly column for Psychology Today called The Baby Scientist.

Norfolk House Nursery 28 Harborne Road

Set in the heart of Edgbaston Village, we provide early education and care to children between the ages of 3 months and 4 years.

At the heart of everything we do is an uncompromising commitment to providing your child with the fullest opportunity to learn and develop in a safe environment.

We offer a range of extra curricular activities including Baby Ballet, Rhythm Time, Forest School, Football, Tennis and Spanish. We also engage a Clinical Nutritionist and a Registered Health Visitor to provide specialist advice and guidance.

We are open from 7am - 7pm.

28 Harborne Road, Edgbaston, Birmingham, B15 3AA T: 0121 454 8714 E: enquiries@norfolkhouseschool.co.uk

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Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield

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What’s On OUT & ABOUT ADVENTURE ISLAND MINI GOLF STAR CITY, BIRMINGHAM Open 7 days a week. A fun indoor golf complex for all the family with two themed 18 hole courses. www.adventureminigolf.co.uk BADDESLEY CLINTON AND PACKWOOD HOUSE NATIONAL TRUST Open every day. Baddesley and Packwood are the perfect places for families to explore the outdoors, enjoy fresh air and run wild come rain or shine. www.nationaltrust.org.uk BARBER INSTITUTE OF FINE ARTS Weekly creative Sunday workshops for 4 – 12 year olds; monthly workshops for 13 – 15 year olds.

Book early!

- LGBTQ+ History Month Events: Tues 18 Feb; Sat 22 Feb - Drag Queen Story Time: Thur 20 Feb - Little Artists Saturdays (under 5s): 25 Jan; 29 Feb; 28 Mar; 25 Apr www.barber.org.uk BIRMINGHAM BOTANICAL GARDENS Open every day. There’s plenty to keep your family occupied: Children’s Trails; Orienteering; Family Events… and much more! www.birminghambotanicalgardens. org.uk BIRMINGHAM WILDLIFE CONSERVATION PARK Open 7 days a week. Home to a unique collection of animals from across the world. www.birmingham.gov.uk/ conservationpark BLACK COUNTRY LIVING MUSEUM DUDLEY Winter opening days: Weds to Sun each week. Enjoy a great historical family day outdoors come rain or shine. www.bclm.co.uk

ENTERTAINMENT SING-A-LONG-A THE GREATEST SHOWMAN THE ALEXANDER THEATRE, BIRMINGHAM Sun 12 Jan Dance and sing along with this special screening of the movie.

Age 5+ www.atgtickets.com/birmingham SING-A-LONG-A THE GREATEST SHOWMAN THE CORE THEATRE, SOLIHULL Sat 1 Feb, 2pm Fancy dress is strongly encouraged and full audience participation essential! www.thecoretheatresolihull.co.uk

Quote FAMILIES BIRMINGHAM when booking!

FLASH CLIMBING CENTRE SOLIHULL Open 7 days a week. Solihull’s first and only indoor rock-climbing centre. www.flashclimbingcentre.com HATTON ADVENTURE WORLD HATTON, WARWICK So much fun to be had for all the family: tractor safari, family theatre, pony rides and more! www.hattonworld.com MIDLANDS ART CENTRE BIRMINGHAM Open 7 days a week. Family focused activities include courses in creative arts, magic shows, films, and free exhibitions. www.macbirmingham.co.uk MUSIC MAZE (8-11 YEARS) ZIGZAG ENSEMBLE ( 12- 18 YEARS) CBSO CENTRE, BIRMINGHAM 19 Jan; 23 Feb; 29 March Fun, creative, participatory workshops for children. www.bcmg.org.uk BRING YOUR DOG TO BLAKESLEY HALL BLAKESLEY HALL, BIRMINGHAM Sun 2 Feb, 11am – 4pm Explore the grounds with Blakesley’s special dog inspired trail. www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ blakesley

CHOCOLATE EXPERIENCE THE CREATIVE COFFEE HUB, SELLY OAK, BIRMINGHAM Sat 8 Feb, 2pm A sticky fingered, fun and extremely delicious chocolate experience for the whole family. www.thechocolateshed.com DIYNOSAUR - FAMILY FUN DAY LAPWORTH MUSEUM OF GEOLOGY, BIRMINGHAM Tues 18 Feb, 10am – 5pm Create some truly bonkers wearable dinosaur sculpture! www.birmingham.ac.uk/facilities/ lapworth-museum

THE NAUGHTY FOX MIDLANDS ARTS CENTRE, BIRMINGHAM Fri 7 Feb, 11.30am & 2.30pm Honk, Splash and TaWit TaWoo teach The Naughty Fox an important lesson. www.macbirmingham.co.uk SINBAD THE SAILOR DOWN UNDER THE CORE THEATRE, SOLIHULL Fri 7 - Sat 8, Fri 14 - Sat 15 Feb High seas adventure with local theatre group Harlequinade. www.thecoretheatresolihull.co.uk LUNA: A PLAY ABOUT THE MOON OLD REP THEATRE, BIRMINGHAM Sat 8 Feb, 1.30pm A rich feast of storytelling, music, history and science.

Age 5+ www.oldreptheatre.co.uk

ASTONISHING ART ACTIVITY: SKETCH & MODEL ASTON HALL, BIRMINGHAM Weds 19 Feb, 11.30am & 1pm Go on an exploration of Aston Hall, sketching as you go! www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ aston

TALL TALES: RAPUNZEL FAMILY STORYTELLING TOUR ASTON HALL, BIRMINGHAM Fri 21 Feb, 11am & 1pm An interactive telling of the traditional story of Rapunzel. Pre-booking essential. www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ aston

ANIMALMANIA BLAKESLEY HALL, BIRMINGHAM Weds 19 Feb, 11am - 3.30pm Go along to meet lizards, snakes, chinchillas, hedgehogs, giant bunnies, tortoises and creepy crawlies! www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ blakesley

CRAFTY FRIDAYS: STORY STICKS WEOLEY CASTLE, BIRMINGHAM Fri 21 Feb, 11am – 2pm Use a variety of materials (e.g. coloured string and greenery) to create your very own story stick. www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ weoley

TEACH REX - FAMILY FUN DAY LAPWORTH MUSEUM OF GEOLOGY, BIRMINGHAM Thurs 20 Feb, 10am – 5pm Join Jam the dinosaur as he roams through the museum and learn R-awesome facts. www.birmingham.ac.uk/facilities/ lapworth-museum

LICHEN LANDSCAPES & MOSSY MINDS LAPWORTH MUSEUM OF GEOLOGY, BIRMINGHAM Fri 21 Feb, 2pm – 4pm A one-off family workshop inspired by Arts & Science Festival Sculpture Commission winners Juneau Projects. www.birmingham.ac.uk/facilities/ lapworth-museum

SPOTLIGHT TALKS FOR ALL ASTON HALL, BIRMINGHAM Thurs 20 Feb, 11.30am, 1pm, 2.30pm An event suitable for history lovers young and old! www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ aston FLORAL SUNCATCHERS CRAFT ACTIVITY BLAKESLEY HALL, BIRMINGHAM Thurs 20 Feb, 11.30am - 3.30pm – drop in Make your own sun catcher or head band in this fun craft activity! www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ blakesley PANCAKE DAY SAREHOLE MILL, BIRMINGHAM Fri 21 Feb, 9am – 4pm A day of baking themed family fun including pancake baking, races and trail. www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ sarehole

ANCE THE DECADES D THE CORE THEATRE, SOLIHULL Wed 12 - Sat 15 Feb A celebration of dance, drama and song from each of the last ten decades. www.thecoretheatresolihull.co.uk BEASTLY BELLE MIDLANDS ARTS CENTRE, BIRMINGHAM Sat 15 – Sun 16 Feb Be charmed and surprised by a new twist on an old tale.

Age 4+ www.macbirmingham.co.uk SLEEPING BEAUTY (JAGUAR CHARITY PANTO SOCIETY) ROYAL SUTTON COLDFIELD TOWN HALL Mon 17 – Sun 23 Feb The traditional pantomime Sleeping Beauty is performed by the Jaguar Charity. www.townhallsuttoncoldfield.co.uk

FREE DAY ASTON HALL, BIRMINGHAM Sun 1 March, 11am - 4pm Explore this grand old mansion’s rich history FREE of charge! www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ aston GEORGIAN DAY AT SOHO SOHO HOUSE, BIRMINGHAM Sun 1 March, 11am - 4pm Be inspired by some fantastic women of the 18th century. Activities for all ages. Prebooking recommended. www.birminghammuseums.org.uk/ soho THE BIG BANG - UK YOUNG SCIENTISTS & ENGINEERS FAIR NEC BIRMINGHAM Wed 11 – Sat 14 March Go along to see the largest celebration of science, technology, engineering and maths for young people in the UK. www.thebigbangfair.co.uk

CIRQUE BERSERK BIRMINGHAM REPERTORY THEATRE 18 – 23 FebJugglers, acrobats, aerialists, dancers and daredevil stuntmen showcase breathtaking skills. www.birmingham-rep.co.uk THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF THE CORE THEATRE Wed 19 Feb, 1pm Hold on to your horns and join the Billy Goats on their adventure. Age 3 - 7 www.thecoretheatresolihull.co.uk ROALD DAHL & THE IMAGINATION SEEKERS MIDLANDS ARTS CENTRE, BIRMINGHAM Fri 21 – Sat 22 Feb A family show inspired by the works of Roald Dahl.

Age 5+ www.macbirmingham.co.uk

ALWAYS CHECK THE VENUE’S WEBSITE IN CASE OF CHANGES TO SCHEDULE 14 Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield

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10th-13th April, nec birmingham

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Families Birmingham, Solihull and Sutton Coldfield

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The Big Bang Fair

The NEC, Birmingham, 11-14 March 2020 Book your free tickets and join the fun at the largest celebration of STEM for young people in the UK!

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The Big Bang Fair inspires and engages children with: • 100+ hands-on activity stands and interactive workshops • Exciting theatre shows • Excellent careers information and the opportunity to talk to thousands of scientists and engineers.

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Family Day is on Saturday, 14 March 2020 - book online via our website: www.thebigbangfair.co.uk

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