Families West London Jan/Feb 2021 by Families Magazine

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IN THIS ISSUE New Year’s Mental Health Resolutions Education & Parenting

Issue 139 January/February 2021 familiesonline.co.uk

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...endless ideas for families of young children in

In this issue 4-5

Chiswick • Ealing • Hammersmith • Kensington • Maida Vale Notting Hill • Uxbridge

News & Views

EDUCATION 7 Books for navigating tricky times 8 Encouraging constant learning 9 How to improve your child’s concentration 11

EARLY YEARS: The benefits of nursery and things to consider

HEALTH: New Year’s mental health resolutions for your family

PARENTING

From the Editors... @FamiliesWestLondon

@FamiliesWest

Anna & Rach Editors:

Rachel Bailey Anna Collins

14 The impact of Covid 19 on working mums

01628 788058 Editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk www.Familiesonline.co.uk

BOOK CLUB

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With the arrival of the New Year comes light at the end of the Covid tunnel, with a vaccine destined to help us get back to normal life in the coming months. In the meantime, we have the dark, chilly days of winter to get through and, despite the Christmas break, many of us are feeling battle-weary and fatigued. So let’s make the most of these quiet weeks to come. While we hibernate, it’s a great time to make some New Year’s resolutions that will get the family’s health back on track, mentally and physically. We’ve got some great tips on page 12 and there’s a chance to win our latest book club recommendation on p.15. As we continue our 30th anniversary celebrations, why not sign up to receive our digital magazine, where you’ll find additional interactive content and more freebies? Just visit familiesmag.co.uk/go Hang in there everyone – better times are coming!

13 The guilty parent syndrome

West London

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Families West London is part of Families Print Ltd, a franchise company. All Franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under licence. Families is a registered trademark of LCMB Ltd. Remenham House, Regatta Place, Marlow Road, Bourne End, Bucks, SL8 5TD. The contents of Families West London are fully protected by copyright and none of the editorial or photographic matter may be reproduced in any form without prior consent of Families West London. Every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine but the franchise company, Families Print Ltd and Lifecycle Marketing cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers, nor for the accuracy of the contents, or any consequence thereof.

Virtual Open Day - 5th February 2021 Call now to book your place or to arrange a private tour

8 Mattock Lane, Ealing W5 5BG 020 8579 3662 admissions@cliftonlodgeschool.co.uk www.cliftonlodgeschool.co.uk

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& reception places for September

Nursery & Preparatory School for boys & girls from 3 to 11 years Nursery – new ‘mornings only’ option for first term.

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News News&&Views Views

Join the Hartbeeps Family Hartbeeps offer award-winning, original, multi-sensory musical classes. Specifically designed for each stage of your baby’s development, sessions feature bubbles, costumes, massage, sensory textures and lights, puppets and more. Enjoy in person sessions in a safe and welcoming environment or join online with over 100 sessions available to do at a time that suits you. Choose from: • Baby bells - Newborn- sitting • Beeps - Sitting - Standing • Happy house - Toddlers & Siblings For classes in: Bayswater, Maida vale, Notting Hill, Shepherds bush, Mayfair and Kensington email: loulou@hartbeeps.com Or for classes in: Ealing, Acton, Hammersmith and Chiswick email: kimmy@hartbeeps.com www.hartbeeps.com

Boost Your Child’s Confidence in 2021 with a FREE Perform Class After such a disrupted and unsettling year, Perform is looking forward to getting 2021 off to a brilliant start with weekly classes packed with high energy confidence-boosting fun. Classes are designed around developing the 4 Cs - confidence, communication, coordination and concentration - and use a mix of drama, dance and singing to bring out every child’s potential. The curriculum ensures plenty of confidence building fun, with drama games, catchy songs and funky dances. All class materials are written by Perform, with apps, downloads and videos for the children to play at home. Their small class sizes - run by two professional actors – ensure plenty of individual attention, plus each child receives a progress report every 10 weeks. Classes are available for ages 4-7 and 7-12 with a new creative theme each term and are delivered in line with government Covid guidelines. Local Perform Classes St. Peter’s Hall, 59a Portobello Rd, Notting Hill W11 3DB 4-7s Wednesdays at 4pm and 5.05pm; Fridays at 4pm 7-12s Fridays at 5.05pm St. Paul’s Church Hall, Ridley Ave, Ealing W13 9XW 4-7s Tuesdays at 4pm; Fridays at 3.45pm 7-12s Tuedays at 5.05pm; Fridays at 4.45pm St. Barnabas Millenium Hall, Pitshanger Lane W5 1QG 4-7s Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 4pm; Saturdays at 9.30am 7-12s Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 5.05pm; Saturdays at 11.15am Masbro Children’s Centre, 87 Masbro Rd, Brook Green W14 0LR 4-7s Saturdays at 9.30am; 7-12s Saturdays at 11.15am The Advent Centre, 37 Brendan St, Marylebone W1H 5JE 4-7s Mondays at 4pm; 7-12s Mondays at 5pm

Frances Lundy School of Dance – New Courses Available Bond Street, Chiswick W4 1QZ

St. Michael’s Hall, Elmwood Road, Chiswick W4 3DY 4-7s Sundays at 9.30am; 7-12s Sundays at 11.15am

Frances Lundy School of Dance Hayloft, 3

Christ Church W4 Mission Hall, Cunnington St W4 5ER 4-7s Tuesdays at 4pm; 7-12s Tuesdays at 5.05pm Holy Innocents Church, Paddenswick Rd, Hammersmith W6 0UB 4-7s Thursdays at 4pm; 7-12s Thursdays at 5.05pm

The Lundy is delighted to be offering the GQAL Level 3 Dance Frances (Studio)Kensington United Reformed Church, Allen St W8 6BL Teaching Assistant Certificate and Dance their studio at 3 Bond 3064 020at8994 e) · GCSE (Offic 0433 020 8675 4-7s Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 4.15pm; 7-12s Fridays at 5.20pm Street, Chiswick W4 (just off Chiswick High Road). The minimum age to & Mode · ISTDwillTap in RAD commence both is 14 Ballet years and students be guided through rn Ickenham Village Hall, 33 Swakeleys Rd, Ickenham UB10 8DG s courses Classe both courses by their team of qualified teachers. They also offer classes · Vocational Classes 4-7s Fridays at 4pm and 5.05pm Ameri omISTD&TapLatin Ballro in RAD Ballet, and Modern, andcan Gymnastics Aerobics. Their New Class The YAA Centre, 1 Chippenham Mews, Maida Vale W9 2AN competition team is about tofor at the ing Hounslow and Kingston Dance GCSE Teach Preparation perform 7-12s Tuesdays at 5.05pm Festivals and are excited to be on stage again! Please do contact them if you Gymn would likeastic further information on ·the new courses or wouldmanc like to es re Perfor Theat Aerobics go and try a class. To book a no-obligation FREE trial at any of the above venues, visit 2 years of age to adult

Miss Lundy: 020From 8675 0433 / 020 8994 3064

FREE TRIAL CLASS BY ARRANGEMENT

www.perform.org.uk/try T: 020 7255 9120 / enquiries@perform. org.uk / www.perform.org.uk

Families West London 01628 788058 familiesonline.co.uk

News News&&Views Views

The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe: Perform’s Three Day Holiday Courses A drama, dance and singing adventure for 4-10s awaits on the other side of the wardrobe this February. With magical creatures, snowy landscapes and a triumphant royal victory, this magical production is the perfect half-term treat. Visit www.perform.org.uk/lion to book. Age range: 4-10 years. Dates: 15th – 17th February. Three day courses run from 10am to 3pm each day. Venues: Kensington United Reformed Church, Allen St W8 6BL; St. Barnabas Millenium Hall, Pitshanger Lane W5 1QG; St. Michael’s Hall, Elmwood Road, Chiswick W4 3DY Contact: T: 020 7255 9120 / enquiries@perform.org.uk

Have you ever thought of hosting an international student?

Get hatty and help find a cure for brain tumours!

Families with children of their own, those with ‘empty nest syndrome’ or grandparents to name a few, all benefit from hosting international students. Hosting can be short term and very flexible to fit with your lifestyle.

Wear A Hat Day is back for 2021! Taking place on Friday 26th March, this is one of the UK’s biggest and most important brain tumour research fundraising and awareness-raising days. After a very challenging year dealing with a Coronavirus pandemic and on the back of their ongoing campaining and successful new petition, Wear A Hat Day 2021 is perfectly timed to become a huge event, bringing hope and inspiring the nation like never before!

The experience that a child has when staying with a host can bring lifelong friendships. From learning to adapt to life in the beautiful English countryside, to life in a large busy city, from learning to bake bread to sharing with your host how to cook the best noodles! There really is something for everyone. Why not go to www.collegeguardians.co.uk and watch Jen’s Story, then register for this wonderful experience? In exchange for your hospitality you will receive a generous compensation package.

Thanks to the brilliant charity partnership with Venture Studios, Brain Tumor Research have been gifted with inspirational and uplifting portraits of key worker families who, despite having their own devastating brain tumour stories, are determined to show the joy and positivity that is being involved in Wear A Hat Day. Join thousands of families across the country and create entertaining hatthemed fundraising events in support of the Brain Tumour Research charity. Whether your event will take place virtually or in person, there are plenty of ideas, resources and a FREE digital fundraising pack available online. To take part, register at www.wearahatday.org Brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer. Wear A Hat Day offers hope for patients as well as their families and friends.

For information please contact Jane@collegeguardians.co.uk

Together we will find a cure.

familiesonline.co.uk

editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk

Families West London

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Education

Books for Navigating Tricky Times By Smriti Halls A book can be a friend in lonely times, a delightful escape, a comfort blanket to wrap around us when the going gets tough. As a parent, sharing this understanding with your children is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Optimism and Hope When life is tricky, sharing stories helps us feel hopeful. What could be more inspiring than reading about a mouse who outsmarts a monster or a young wizard defying the odds? Choose books that are uplifting, joyful and empowering. Through words and pictures, help your child see that whatever they are experiencing, they are not the first and they are not alone. Books can remind children – and adults – of the joy and wonder in life. Of friendship and family and the things that matter. They can help us feel optimistic, happy and loved.

Body Language The simple act of sharing a book is a very real, very special way of connecting with your child and vice versa. Sit close together. Listen to the sound of each other’s voices. Take turns to read. No matter how old, your child will always love being read to by you, so allow time for them to hear the reassuring sound of your voice.

Escape There’s nothing more comforting or exhilarating than escaping into a book. Share laugh-out-loud stories, wild adventures, magical mysteries….leave reality behind. Use books to help your children’s imaginations fly. Circumstances might not allow you to travel, but there are no limits to how far your imagination can take you. Laugh. Have fun. Use voices. Help your child feel

unburdened and escape into humour, fantasy and delight.

Pictures A picture speaks a thousand words… encourage your child to simply sit and soak up the beauty of the illustrations in a picture book. Allow them to be immersed in the detail, to read expressions, to tell the story in their own words. Help them take time to feel replenished and restored by the experience.

Facts Seek out information books on topics of interest – or concern. This is a great way to engage with tricky subjects and arm children with facts so that they can feel well-resourced and empowered for any challenge. Most importantly, keep talking, keep connecting, keep reading. Through the books you choose and the way you share them, your child will feel secure, loved and well equipped for daily life, no matter how tricky the times. Smriti Halls is an award-winning, critically acclaimed author and Writer in Residence with BookTrust, the UK’s largest children’s reading charity. Visit www.booktrust.org.uk

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Families West London

Education

Encouraging Constant Learning Dr Cath Bishop ‘Let’s race!’ ‘Who’s going to win snakes and ladders?’ From early childhood, it seems natural to compare and compete with others. But, historically, what marked us out from our ancestors was our ability to co-operate in large numbers, communicate and connect through ideas and stories. This is how we learn. Whatever our age or circumstances, we can always learn. And learning sits at the heart of the latest thinking on innovating, resilience and leadership. To help instil a learning habit in our children, let’s look at three areas. Let’s start with co-operation. It’s sadly overlooked or underplayed. Games are often set up to determine winners and losers. In the classroom, children compete to be the first one to put their hands up with the right answer. They learn that they look good when they have that answer, that they are being compared with their peers, and that they look better when others get things wrong. These competitive experiences block them from learning with and from their peers. Teaching, supporting and challenging each other is the most effective way to learn; co-operation between children is also an essential ingredient for mental health. Next, let’s embrace those ‘why’ questions that drive parents with toddlers crazy – they are the most brilliant basis of a learning mindset. A relentless focus on simply acquiring knowledge and skills without knowing why they matter or what impact they could have, reduces the motivation to keep learning.

The ‘why’ helps us to master the ‘what’ and work out the ‘how.’ Finally, as parents, we need to consider how we answer those questions – or not. We want to be clear. But it’s really not necessary for any of us to know the finer details of how planes stay up in the sky, or how long it takes to get to the moon. It’s much more useful to explore our children’s potential thoughts on these things and maybe find more questions. The future is uncertain – and always has been. Asking questions, developing them and exploring different perspectives is the best way to foster a learning mindset, ready to discover new possibilities. Dr Cath Bishop is an Olympic medallist, International Diplomat and Cambridge University Business Coach. Her new book The Long Win: The search for a better way to succeed is out now, published by Practical Inspiration Publishing, priced £12.99. For more information, visit www.cathbishop.com

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Education

How to Improve your Child’s Concentration By Gail Hugman

If ever there was a time to help your child improve their learning skills, it is now! Even when routines are not disrupted, many young children need help developing the skills of listening and concentration required in the classroom. Here are some ways you can help your child.

Concentration DEFINE focus and concentration – primary aged children need to feel things in their body to help their brain properly understand the meaning. To help your child FEEL concentration, ask them to balance a book on their head! After the book has stopped falling off, the giggling has ended and you see that they are focussed, TELL them that what they were feeling whilst trying to balance the book is ‘concentration.’ EXPLAIN that concentration means using all your energy to do one thing at a time. If you get distracted you need to take control inside yourself to get back to the job. Taking control is a grownup thing to do! Teach the Bubble Strategy (below) to use in class.

Listening

means and the difference between listening and hearing. For example, hearing is something that happens automatically. Listening is something we DO which means we can get better at it with practice. • Tell them you’re going to see how well their brain is learning to listen. Say a simple sentence for them to repeat back to you exactly as it was said: e.g. “I put my coat on and went outside to play.” • Can your child repeat it word perfectly? They might need to do it several times. Suggest they repeat the sentence in their head when you say it because that will help their brain remember it. They can do this when their teacher is speaking to them at school too.

Only around 2% of the population ever have any formal training in listening and yet it’s one of the most important skills we need for learning. Help your child get off to a great start with the following steps:

Gail Hugman is the founder of Lessons Alive. Gail has 46 years’ experience teaching and motivating children to be the best they can be in school and in life. This article contains extracts from her book 100 Things to Learn Before You’re 10, available at www.theendlessbookcase.com.

• Talk with your child about what they think listening really

For further information, visit www.lessonsalive.com

The Bubble Strategy This will help your child manage distraction in the classroom. Talk to your child about the classroom and what distracts them. Look at the school timetable and show your child the blocks of time when they need to be listening and concentrating. Tell them to help their brain focus in the classroom, they need to imagine they are inside a big, invisible bubble. It can be any colour they like! Inside the bubble all they can hear is their teacher talking; all other noise is outside the bubble and in the distance. They can shake off their bubble when they go out to play and go back into it in the next lesson. Give them a small, pretty stone or bead for their pencil case and tell them that every time they see it, it will remind them to concentrate, listen and check that they are using the bubble when they need it. After school, ask them how their concentration was in the lessons in which it was needed. familiesonline.co.uk

Frances Lundy School of Dance The Hayloft, 3 Bond Street, Chiswick W4 1QZ 020 8675 0433 (Office) · 020 8994 3064 (Studio) Classes in RAD Ballet · ISTD Tap & Modern Ballroom & Latin American · Vocational Classes Preparation for Teaching GCSE Dance Gymnastic Aerobics · Theatre Performances From 2 years of age to adult FREE TRIAL CLASS BY ARRANGEMENT

editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk

Families West London

from the school run to photo-shoots and still have time to take their kids to Judo. We don’t see the nanny, the makeup artist and the housekeeper behind the scenes. Most people don't share the messy chaos of family life on their carefully curatedCalling Instagram account.

all young SoScientists! in 2020 shall we all agree to let go of the

notion of being a perfect parent and instead start

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Early Years

The Benefits of Nursery and Things to Consider By Gabrielle Nash Choosing good quality childcare is one of the most important decisions a parent will make. Whether you are a new parent thinking about returning to work or a stay at home parent considering the options for your toddler, finding a good nursery may very well be your best option. A day nursery provides a structured and safe environment. Assessed by Ofsted, the UK’s school and childcare regulator, nurseries have to meet certain requirements in areas like staff ratios and hygiene. Additionally, a quality nursery will support your child’s development by offering a stimulating environment, providing a foundation for school and benefiting their social skills. Sally is mother to Finn, aged 18 months. She describes the experience of her son starting nursery as amazing, with his development quickly accelerating: “Within weeks, Finn was walking and starting to understand so much more. It’s been wonderful to see how social he’s become and how much he enjoys spending time with the staff as well as other children.” Assessing whether a nursery is suitable for you and your child, depends largely on your circumstances. If you want a stimulating pre-school environment, then it is undoubtedly a good option. However, if you are a working parent, who needs to leave the house to go to work, there are a few things to consider.

What hours do you work? If you have a set start and finish time, this aligns well with a nursery as they generally work on set hours. If you need more

flexibility, you may need to consider your options, because late pick-ups from a nursery are discouraged. Of course, this is less of an issue if you can work from home.

Where do you live and how do you get to work? The logistics of drop-offs and pick-ups are important when considering childcare options. Is there a nursery on your way to work or close to home?

What is your child’s personality? Your child may be gregarious and outgoing, in which case nursery is ideal, or you may have a more reserved child, for whom a large nursery could be overwhelming. With babies, this is more difficult to assess. It’s worth remembering that a nursery may not offer the same one-to-one care as a childminder or nanny, but they will have more staff in a baby room. For more from Gaby, follow her on Instagram @thelondonishmum

What to Check Out

Additional Resources

Word of mouth. Whilst the regulator’s report is important, local parents’ recommendations are also useful, so speak to others about their nursery choices.

Whilst word-of-mouth will give you real life assurances about the childcare settings on your shortlist, there are plenty of other resources to help you make an informed decision.

Parental visit. Sometimes a nursery can seem chaotic with lots of noise and potentially crying, but this does not necessarily reflect the nursery’s quality. Are you greeted warmly? Do the staff seem stressed or responsive?

Ofsted rating. Check the nursery’s Ofsted report. Look out particularly for Ofsted’s grade and summary of the setting. www.ofsted.gov.uk

Staff. Ask about staff turnover, staff ratios and whether your child would have a “key person.”

Childcare options. To get a greater understanding of your local childcare options, from nurseries to nannies, you can search at www.childcare.co.uk

Environment. This should be clean, not necessarily tidy! The children should have regular and structured access to the outside, as this supports their physical development. Play. Young children learn best through play. Ask about the options and how activities are introduced. Routine. How does the nursery meet basic needs? eg meals, hygiene, and naps. Does the environment for these seem appropriate? Child’s progress. How are parents updated on their child’s progress? familiesonline.co.uk

Help with costs. Depending on where you live and your circumstances, you may be entitled to government support. For more information, visit www.childcarechoices.org.uk Further support. It’s important to plan for childcare costs and factor them into your childcare decision. A more comprehensive guide to support with childcare costs can be found at www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/help-ourchildcare-costs

editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk

Families West London

Health

New Year’s Mental Health Resolutions for Your Family By Helen Spiers On 1 January 2020, many of us were making resolutions about healthy eating, exercise or giving up bad habits, with no idea that a global catastrophe was on its way. The impact of the pandemic is huge, with mental health suffering particularly. So let’s use our 2021 resolutions to focus on being kinder to ourselves. By prioritising our family’s mental health, we’ll be happier, more energised, and ready to face whatever the ‘new normal’ has in store.

Resolution 1: Be More Open As a counsellor, young people tell me things that they couldn’t say to their parents. They may be worried about hurting their feelings or about their reaction. In other households, talking about feelings may be seen as shameful. But by hiding our own mental health difficulties, we’re not protecting our children, we’re promoting shame and secrecy. Open up about your own emotions and let your children know that we all get scared, sad and angry at times.

Resolution 2: Spend More Time Together Screens and social media played a big part in the lockdown narrative, and many bad habits were formed. While it may offer short-term respite, excessive screen-time and social media negatively impact on so many areas of a child’s health and development. Resolutions that restrict or deprive children, however, will be met with frustration and resentment. Instead, resolve to spend more time together - be it a weekly games night or long Sunday walks. You’ll reduce screen-time, improve

your relationships, and support your child’s development, communication skills and emotional well-being.

Resolution 3: Build on Strengths Diets fail and gym memberships gather dust because things we don’t find fun are hard to sustain. It’s the same for children. Encourage your child to set positive resolutions. Maybe they’re going to take on their most ambitious Lego project yet or become an even better dancer. Focussing on strengths will build their resilience and give them more faith in their own abilities, making them more able to cope with adversity. With such busy lives it’s hard to prioritise our well-being - it’s often ignored until something goes wrong. This New Year, be proactive and instigate long-term changes for your family’s health and happiness. Helen Spiers is Head of Child and Adolescent Counselling at Mable Therapy which works with schools and private individuals through a bespoke online platform. For more information, visit www.mabletherapy.com

Building Resilience In recent years there’s been a surge in schools adopting a ‘growth mindset’ approach in order to build resilience in children. This is a welcome shift towards promoting mental health as it encourages children to embrace challenges and persevere when things get tough. For those who find learning easy, they’re encouraged to push themselves out of their comfort zone, and for those who struggle it celebrates effort over achievement. By making 2021 the start of your family’s growth mindset approach, you’ll be helping to improve your child’s coping skills and self-esteem. If they believe that getting top marks makes them a successful person, they’ll seek constant validation and avoid any situations where they may fail. Messages such as ‘wouldn’t it be boring if we got everything right first time?’ and ‘I love how hard you’re trying with this’ will arm them with the resilience and self-esteem needed to face new challenges.

Families West London 01628 788058 familiesonline.co.uk

Parenting

The Guilty Parent Syndrome By Dr Jan MacGregor Hepburn As a parent, do you feel constantly guilty? About what you’ve said/done or not said/done? If so, you’d be forgiven for thinking that guilt and parenting must be inextricably linked and you would be right! BUT they don’t have to be. There are three factors to consider, although they often get mixed up together. Firstly, a child takes good parenting for granted. Children are meant to be self-interested. This is how they grow into adults who can take care of other people. If you force your child to be grateful and think about you rather than themselves, you won’t get a nicely rounded and kind adult. You’ll get someone unhappy and driven by guilt, or someone very resentful. All the things you do right for your child should be taken for granted. They will just complain about the mistakes you’ve made and this can make you feel guilty. When your child is ungrateful for your good parenting, remember, they are meant to be like this, and you are meant to be angry and resentful sometimes. These bad thoughts can also make you feel guilty, even if you are always nothing but outwardly kind! Finally, there is definitely a kind of ‘bad parent’ narrative in our society. Parents are blamed if their child has problems or misbehaves. You can see it in any shopping centre. A child has a tantrum, their parent is harassed beyond words and onlookers suck their teeth and disapprove. No-one offers any help, or even a sympathetic smile. These kinds of judgements can make you feel guilty.

So why should you not feel guilty? •

There is no such thing as the perfect parent and when you make mistakes, your child is learning how to manage life by watching how you deal with them. They can’t develop personal security if they aren’t able to work through the problems and mistakes they will inevitably have and make.

•

No-one should feel guilty about thoughts and wishes. You can’t help how you feel, you can only help what you do.

•

People judge because of their own difficulties: it really does say more about them than you. They are the ones who should feel guilty, for being judgmental – but, of course, they don’t. They are making you feel it instead!

Dr Jan McGregor Hepburn is a Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist and part of the team at nscience.uk Her new book, Shame & Guilt, is published by nscience Publishing. For more info, visit www.nscience.uk

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editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk

Families West London

She Means Business

The Impact of Covid-19 on Working Mums By Mandy Garner The Covid-19 pandemic has been hard for many individuals and groups, with working mums, particularly single working mums, being one of them. But the picture is complex. Women dominate in many of the most risky frontline sectors such as health, social care and education and in some of the hardest hit sectors such as hospitality and retail. Part-time jobs, traditionally done by women, have seen a precipitous fall, BUT women are less likely to be unemployed than men and many have gone into full-time roles. Then there is self-employment which has seen a big decline. A recent report from IPSE and Starling Bank showed women freelancers have been hardest hit financially by late payments of money owed to them and the associated mental impact and women-led businesses have suffered disproportionately. What is clear is that the impact of childcare problems during the pandemic has been most keenly felt by women, with countless studies, including our own surveys, showing women have been carrying most of the childcare/home schooling burden, despite dads increasing their input generally. Though schools and childcare are back, informal childcare bubbles are allowed and single parents/grandparents can extend their bubbles to another household, our latest

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survey shows there are still huge challenges, from lockdown restrictions to school or year group closures. Just 48% of mums said their childcare was back to normal after schools and nurseries reopened, with 14% lacking wraparound care and 10% lacking help with drop-offs. Others had children with special needs who were staying at home or had no access to school. The practical as well as mental health impact of all this uncertainty and constant change is huge and, on the positive side, some employees have risen to the challenge, providing regular check-ins, communications, advice and support. The normalisation of flexible working and the groundswell of support for hybrid working in the future are also a big positive for women and could help not only attract and retain more women in the workforce but, if senior jobs are routinely advertised with flexible working, could increase their chances of promotion too. But there are provisos. Most importantly, the pandemic has underscored the central role of childcare in keeping women in the workplace and the necessity for childcare to be viewed not as a private issue for each family, but as a fundamental part of the economic infrastructure. Childcare providers need more investment. Many say they could close as a result of the pandemic and the ongoing issues around funding for three and four year olds. Without affordable childcare, women will simply not be able to work. Despite many employers increasing their engagement with staff during the pandemic, a recent US study, Women in the Workplace (https://womenintheworkplace.com), published by McKinsey and Lean In, highlights that relatively few have taken steps to adjust the norms and expectations that are most likely responsible for employee stress and burnout. Less than a third of companies have, for instance, adjusted their performance review criteria to account for the challenges created by the pandemic and only about half have updated employees on their plans for performance reviews or their productivity expectations during the pandemic. It says the result is more women dropping out of the workforce or not being promoted. Covid-19 has highlighted the yawning gap between good and bad employers which must be addressed, with claims of sex discrimination also likely to see a big rise. So, while the impact of the pandemic on women is varied, we must go forward with our eyes open about the challenges ahead, continue to monitor what is happening on the ground and address the issues that are barriers to women’s full and equal participation in the workforce. The Government’s ‘Build back better’ message has a focus on construction - one of the industries where women are least represented. We must rebuild the economy in a way that ensures that no one group gets left behind. Mandy Garner is Managing Editor of Working Mums (www.workingmums.co.uk) where you will find the reports referenced in this article.

Families West London 01628 788058 familiesonline.co.uk

Book Club @clara_vulliamy

@claravulliamy

As we’re always saying, here at Families, we love nothing more than a good book and, sharing stories with our children has become an important part of family life. This month, Rachel Bailey talks to Clara Vulliamy about following in Shirley Hughes’ footsteps and her new series Marshmallow Pie the Cat Superstar, which published last summer. The latest book in the series, Marshmallow Pie the Cat Superstar in Hollywood, is out this month and to celebrate, Families have two sets of all three books up for grabs! As Shirley Hughes’ daughter you must’ve grown up with books. Did you always know that you wanted to be a writer/illustrator yourself? With hindsight I don’t think it was ever in doubt. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as they say! But my mum didn’t put any pressure on me, or even suggest it, she stepped back and left me to find my own way. I always loved to read and to make up stories, and above all to paint and draw. At the end of the day she would leave her paints out on the kitchen table for me to use up; she said it was like scraping the last bits of icing from the bowl after baking. Perhaps the most important thing was for me to see that it could be a career, not just a hobby. Alongside bringing up three children she always worked, and was always very professional and committed. What was it like working together on your Dixie O’ Day series? It was a fantastic experience. The first – and only – time the great Shirley Hughes has handed over the role of illustrating one of her books to someone else, what an honour! We sat at that same kitchen table in the family home, bouncing ideas around and dreaming up stories. Once we had decided that the Dixie series would be Wacky Races meets Morecambe and Wise BUT DOGS, the rest was plain sailing. The Marshmallow Pie series published last August. Did you always plan to write the 3rd book so quickly or did you find you had more time to write during Lockdown? Working in lockdown has been unlike

anything else I have ever experienced. I have certainly had more time, as there is nothing else to do and nowhere to go… so what could be more fun than jumping on a plane and heading to the glamour and bright lights of Hollywood – even if only in my imagination! Pie has a huge personality and a very distinctive voice – I know him so well now, and love to see the world through his eyes. When I talk to children about writing their own stories, I often recommend trying the ‘first person’ or ‘own voice’ narrative: it’s such a good way to immediately get inside the head of your main character. What comes first, the illustrations or the story? I hope this isn’t cheating, but the truthful answer is: an illustration, then the story, then the illustrations. I always start with a drawing, a character sketch of my main character or characters (in this case, Pie and his owner Amelia). I’m a very visual person, so to get to know them I need to really see them on the page. Then I write the story, and my editor helps me to make it the very best it can be. Only when every word is perfect do I move on to the illustrations. Do you have a favourite author/ illustrator you’d love to collaborate with? I would love to collaborate with an author from a community or group who are under-represented in the world of children’s publishing. We need new voices and for children of all races

and backgrounds to see themselves in books. And things are changing at last, these are exciting times. You’ve said you like writing lists. I love a list! Usually scribbled on scraps of paper. Do you have lots of scribbled ideas and abandoned lists, or is your work space very neat and tidy? I’m afraid my work space is chaotically UNTIDY. I am obsessed with lists (not least because if I don’t write something down I instantly forget it). But I also like lists for fun. The other day I made a list of all the different ways to eat a potato in order of favourite to least favourite. Roasted, chips and mash at the top, watery over-boiled at the bottom. Who would guess I’m not getting out much these days! January is a time to make resolutions and changes for the year ahead. Is there anything you’re going to do differently this year? This year has been so tough for everybody, and I am really full of admiration for the way everyone has kept going. So I think that none of us should be making resolutions that are difficult to keep. Make more lists perhaps, or eat more cake? A list of favourite cakes might be fun… Marshmallow Pie the Cat Superstar in Hollywood is available now priced £6.99. www.claras.me

WIN

Families have two sets of the Marshmallow Pie books to give away to two lucky readers! For your chance to win, all you have to do is answer the question below and email your answer to editor@familieswest.co.uk What is Marshmallow Pie? A: A Sweet treat B: A Cat C: A Dog Closing date for entries is 28 Feb 2021

editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk

Families West London

My New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Resolutions! This year I want to:

This year I need to:

This year I am going to start:

This year I am going to stop:

This year I am going to learn:

CUT OUT AND KEEP Magazine

Visit familiesmag.co.uk/go for more copies.

â&#x153;&#x201A;

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Sign up now! Please note: capital as risk. As with any investment, the value can go down as well. Terms and conditions apply. Beanstalk is a trading name of KidStart Limited. KidStart Limited is authorised Families and West regulated by familiesonline.co.uk editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk London 17 the Financial Conduct Authority. Our FCA number is 473606.

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Education

Learning Challenges for Kids From Bella Learning, these are open-ended, purposeful tasks, differentiated by age, that your child can do as part of home-schooling or at the weekend.

Challenge 1

Challenge 2

Challenge 3

Create a poster.

Create a rainbow collage.

Audit your toys.

Challenge 4

Challenge 5

Challenge 6

Celebrate a story.

Make a family tree.

Make a sunshine picture.

Challenge 7

Challenge 8

Challenge 9

Create an observation chart. familiesonline.co.uk

Interview a relative.

editor@FamiliesWest.co.uk

Make a treasure hunt.

Families West London

Health

Support Your Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mental Health Help your child to understand how they are feeling and why with these free downloadable resources from PlanBee.

Feelings and Emotions Cards

These cards will get your child thinking and talking about feelings.

Design your Own Emotion Emojis

Your child can draw emojis that represent their feelings.

Worry Monster Activity Sheets

Help your child deal with their emotions. 20

Mood Tracker

Children can express emotions they are experiencing by colouring in an object.

Synonym Emotions Booklet

Identify words that are similar to emotions like angry, sad and happy.

Draw the Emotion

Feeling Check-in Cards

Emoji Emotion Faces Cards

Mindfulness Colouring Sheets

Challenge your children Check in with your to think about how different emotions are child and see what they are feeling. expressed facially.

Ask your child to talk about when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve felt these feelings.

Perfect to help young minds relax.

Families West London 01628 788058 familiesonline.co.uk

New Year

New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Resolution Ideas for Children Pre-School

Ages 5 to 8

I need to brush my teeth every morning and before going to bed.

I need to go to bed on time every night. I need to wash my hands before every meal. I will start eating at least three fruits and vegetables every day. I will start doing my chores every day. I will stop fighting with my brother/sister/others. I will stop interrupting when someone is talking. I will learn how to tell an adult if I see anyone being bullied.

I need to wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before I eat anything. I am going to start tasting a new food every week. I am going to start listening to my mum/dad. I will learn a new word every day. I will learn how to help clear the table when I have finished eating. I will stop hitting my brother/ sister/others.

Ages 9 to 11

I will learn to make a simple meal. I will learn how to tidy my room properly. I want to choose one author and read every book they have written. I will start having one screen free day every week. I want to save ÂŁ20 in my piggy bank. I need to eat fruit or vegetables with every meal. I need to do my homework before anything else after school. I will stop leaving my clothes on the floor.

familiesonline.co.uk

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Families West London

Family Life

Handling Co-Parenting Differences

The Guilty Parent Syndrome

By Rebecca Giraud and Bob Greig

By Dr Jan MacGregor Hepburn

Co-parenting is not easy, mistakes can and will be made but it’s the effort that we as parents put in that will really be of long-term benefit to our children. After all, loving our children is what we have in common with our ex-partner. READ MORE

As a parent, do you feel constantly guilty? About what you’ve said/done or not said/ done? If so, you’d be forgiven for thinking that guilt and parenting must be inextricably linked. And you would be right! BUT they don’t have to be….... READ MORE

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101 Questions Answered About Separating with Children has become an indispensable guide to divorce/ separation for parents. To mark the publication of the second edition, enjoy an exclusive 15% discount for Families readers from Only Mums and Only Dads. Use code FM10121 here. With legal help, tips and insights from professionals and parents, this book will save you time and money.

Families West London 01628 788058 familiesonline.co.uk