Families East Kent Sep/Oct 2020 (Print)

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Issue 17 September/October 2020 familiesonline.co.uk

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Easter activities & What’s Ons * Win chocolates for Mother’s Day & family day out tickets * Play café guide * School open days * Reader offers Issue 10 March/April 2020

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Contact us

Welcome - We’re Celebrating!

Managing Editor Victoria Figg editor@familieseastkent.co.uk 07725 355657

There are some reasons to celebrate as we head into autumn.

Advertising Amanda Biggs amanda@familiespublishing.co.uk 07835 848066 Next issue November/December Booking deadline 9 October Printed By Holbrooks Printers Ltd Cover image: Depositphotos.com

In this issue 4.

Education

9.

Early Years

And this autumn is also special as it marks the 30 year anniversary of Families Magazine, first launched in London in 1990. Throughout the next 12 months, we’ll be inviting our readers to mark this milestone with us in lots of fun and interesting ways.

To get the ball rolling, we’re proud to offer you the chance to win a family holiday to Santa’s Lapland in Finland! See page 13 for details.

10. Health 11.

Clubs & Classes

12.

What’s on

In the meantime, we hope you find this issue useful in negotiating the start to the new school and nursery year.

14. Parenting 15.

Firstly, we’re back in print for the first time since March.

Whilst we’ve been busy online for the last few months - you may have read our digital ‘lockdown’ issues - it feels great to be able to provide you with a hard copy of our magazine as usual.

Victoria x

Kids activities

Follow us on Facebook to keep up to date with all the latest news and events happening in East Kent and look out for some great competitions, giveaways and special reader offers. @familieseastkentmagazine

Editor, Families East Kent © Families East Kent 2020. Families East Kent is part of Families Print Ltd, a franchise company. All franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under licence. Families is a registered trademark of LCMB Ltd, Remenham House, Regatta Place, Marlow Road, Bourne End, Bucks SL8 5TD. The contents of Families East Kent are fully protected by copyright and none of the editorial or photographic matter may be reproduced in any form without prior consent of Families East Kent. Every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine, but Families East Kent ; our distributors, the franchise company, Families Print Ltd, and Lifecycle Marketing cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers nor for the accuracy of the contents, or any consequence thereof.

VOICE TRIALS

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Enquiries are welcome at any time Substantial scholarships are awarded and choristers benefit from an all-round excellent education at St Edmund’s School Canterbury.

The Master of Choristers, David Flood, is always pleased to meet and advise parents and their sons.

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Families East Kent 3

Education News

New Head appointed at Kent College Junior School Kent College is pleased to announce that Mr Simon James has been appointed Head of the Junior School at Kent College and will take up the position at the start of the autumn term.

St Lawrence College is a thriving independent school for boys and girls St Lawrence College is a thriving independent school for boys and girls aged 3-18 years and has been educating children in 45 acres of beautiful grounds in the heart of Ramsgate for 140 years.

Before lockdown in March, the Junior School Prep pupils took part in exciting enrichment day based around STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Maths). This was a chance for the pupils to take charge of the day, using their vast imaginations to create their own futuristic designs using computer design, recycled materials and Lego.

To find out more about life and learning at St Lawrence College visit one of their forthcoming open days on Friday 2 October for the Junior School and on Saturday 3 October for the Senior School.

To book a place at the open day, or to find out more call the admissions team on 01843 572931, email: admissions@slcuk.com or visit www.slcuk.com

Children’s Laureate to remain to 2022 Cressida Cowell’s time as Children’s Laureate will continue for an additional 12 months due to the coronavirus outbreak.

The best-selling author of the How to Train Your Dragon series took the role in July 2019 and had been due to step down next year. However, organisers BookTrust said the “exceptional circumstances” created by the pandemic meant Cressida will serve until June 2022.

The role of Children’s Laureate is awarded once every two years to a leading children’s author or illustrator to honour outstanding achievement in their field and to acknowledge their importance in creating the readers of tomorrow.

Cressida plans to continue with her ambitious campaign to make the magic of books and reading available to everyone by making a library in every school in the UK a compulsory legal requirement. www.childrenslaureate.org.uk 4 Families East Kent

Mr James has ambitious plans for the future of the school beginning with the opening of Sydney Cooper Art Studio and extending the GREAT (Gifted Really Enthusiastic and Talented) programme to Early Years and Key Stage 1, where specialist teachers provide a carousel of additional subjects. He will also drive the outdoor learning experiences in the idyllic grounds of the school.

Mr James said “ I am delighted to succeed Andy Carter as the Head who I have worked closely with for the last few years. Kent College Junior is a special school that has played an incredibly important part in the lives of so many. I am excited to preserve the essence of what makes the school unique and lead the school through the next exciting stage of its development. “ To find out more about Kent College visit kentcollege.com or visit their open day on Saturday 3rd October 2020.

A “back to basics” approach for learning at Sandwich Technology School Many families in Kent believe that a Grammar School is the only educational route to success and sometimes overlook the breadth of opportunity that is available in other settings.

Sandwich Technology School is committed to promoting the successful transition from childhood to adulthood of those in its care. There is a culture of high expectation and focussed learning, which is under-pinned by traditional values. A broad, well-balanced curriculum caters for the needs and interests of all learners and students are supported by an extensive pastoral team.

A “back to basics approach is reaping dividends and, for the third consecutive year, the school has seen a significant improvement in both GCSE and A Level results. STS is very proud of the fact that virtually all of its students ultimately progress to either university, employment or apprenticeships. In May 2019, Ofsted concluded that “Pupils are well prepared for life in the modern world”.

To learn more, visit the STS website: www.sandwich-tech.kent.sch.uk

New Head for Spring Grove School Spring Grove School in Wye sees Therésa Jaggard take over as the new Head of School.

While September is the official start of Mrs Jaggard’s headship, she is already well-known to the Spring Grove community, having spent a ‘handover’ term at the school since Easter, teaching online as part of the team that delivered the SG Home Learning programme during the Covid-19 lockdown, as well as welcoming the children back to school for a few weeks at the end of the Summer term.

Spring Grove has established an enviable reputation for the creative arts, particularly music and drama, and Mrs Jaggard is well placed to continue these traditions as she is a talented violinist, pianist and singer herself and music is a lifelong passion.

To find out more about Spring Grove School, come along to their Open Morning on Saturday 10 October. Call 01233 812337 to register. www.springgroveschool.co.uk familiesonline.co.uk

“Teachers challenge pupils well to achieve more, to learn new skills, and to develop their knowledge.”

Ofsted, May 2019

Happy in our safe and caring environment Open-minded and ready to learn Literate, numerate and independent thinkers Determined to achieve the best they can Forward thinking and full of aspiration Active members of the community Self-confident and inspired to succeed Tolerant and respectful of diversity

We cannot physically welcome you through our doors this Autumn, but we absolutely understand that you want to choose the best possible secondary school for your child. We will do everything that we can to help you in that decision.

You may not be able to visit our fabulous facilities or see our staff and students at their daily best, but a wealth of information is available on the STS website and we are here to answer your questions.

We would love to hear from you!

Tracey Savage Headteacher

Hold fast that which is good

Deal Road, Sandwich, Kent CT13 0FA ▪ Tel: 01304 610000 ▪ www.sandwich-tech.kent.sch.uk

Autumn 2020 open days Junior School

Friday 2 October

Co-educational, day & boarding school for 3-18 years in South East England

Senior School Saturday 3 October

Nurturing every individual to achieve their potential Junior School

With small class sizes and exceptional facilities, St Lawrence College is

Senior School

T: 01843 572912

Kent's only High Performance Learning World Class School, providing

T: 01843 572931

E: jsadmissions@slcuk.com

outstanding opportunities for all pupils academically, in sport, and in the arts.

E: admissions@slcuk.com

Find out more about life and learning at St Lawrence College - www.slcuk.com familiesonline.co.uk

Families East Kent 5

Education

Coping with back to school stress Starting a new school year after Covid-19 may mean both parents and children feel more anxious than usual. So how can we help our children go back to school feeling more happy and relaxed? Claire Winter speaks to some experts.

Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Dr Sarah Mundy from www. parentingthroughstories.com says it’s vital that we support our children to make sense of what we are calling the ‘new normal.’

She cautions against dismissing our kids’ emotions: “We need to support children to make sense of their feelings and the changes that the pandemic has caused. We need to normalise anxiety rather than dismiss it and help them (and parents and teachers) find ways of coping. Emotions are contagious so the more the adults and systems around children can model that they can cope, despite the uncertainty, the better.”

Evidence Based Parenting and Education expert, Dr Kathy Weston (www.drkathyweston.com) advises being positive about returning to school. If your child is worried remind them of: The safety measures that the school has implemented; The things that can be controlled versus the things that can’t; The innovation in healthcare science that is helping us move towards eventual normality.

Other tips from Kathy include: Provide a positive home learning environment; Use effective praise to motivate your child; Remember to be organised during the first few weeks of term; Ensure your child gets enough sleep!

Education specialist and author of ‘100 Things to Learn Before you are 10’ Gail Hugman (www.lessonsalive.com) says it’s

important to check in with your child regularly. “Have a chat with them about how they are adapting to the new school routine and friendships. Is everyone glad to be back? Is there anything they like better? Is there anything they miss? Are they worried about anything? Is there anything they need to catch up on?”

In terms of school work, remind your child what was achieved during lockdown. “Actively talk to them about the progress they made (include maturity, self-control, confidence, new skills learned.) Remind them that the teacher also went through lockdown and isn’t expecting them to be perfect, just polite and well behaved!”

Finally, she suggests keeping a free evening each week for a ‘no expectations, no pressure’ night. “Films, games, popcorn - cosy things to relax the system and chill out!”

If you are worried, reach out to your child’s school. Remember though that learning how to cope with uncertainty will help build your child’s ability to cope with change in later life.

How to keep your kids stress free

Books to help with anxiety Recommendations from Dr Sarah Mundy, Consultant Clinical Psychologist from www.parentingthroughstories.com Coronavirus: A Book for Children about Covid-19 by Elizabeth Jenner, suitable for all ages. Illustrated by Axel Scheffler, this accessible book provides clear explanations about Covid-19 and its impact on health and family life.

Please Stay Here - I Want You Near is Dr Sarah Mundy’s first interactive book in the Bartley Bear series. It helps children ages 2 to 4 make sense of their feelings and cope with spending time away from their parents.

The Goodnight Caterpillar by Lori Lite is an encouraging story for ages 4 to 9. The caterpillar teaches the child how to relax, unwind, and see things more clearly so he/she can fall asleep peacefully.

The Huge Bag of Worries by agony aunt Virginia Ironside is a brilliant book for ages 2 to 5. Worry follows Jenny in a big blue bag.

Can Jenny get help to get rid of the worry?

6 Families East Kent

Natalie Costa, Confidence Coach for children and founder of Power Thoughts (www.powerthoughts.co.uk) shares her tips.

Allow space to talk Listen to your child’s worries and validate their feelings. It may be tempting to try to reassure by telling them not to worry.

However, more helpful may be: “It’s ok to feel upset about this. Shall we look at what we can do to help you feel more prepared?”

For those less inclined to talk, encourage drawing/writing what’s on their mind. Creating a ‘worry character’ with a silly name and voice can help children recognise that they are not their worries.

Remind them of their strengths Remind children of previous challenges they have faced. Create a poster about these. What did they learn and how did they grow from these challenges?

Your child could also write themselves a letter reminding them that they are brave and can do difficult things. Encourage them to include the new and fun experiences that await them too.

They can refer to this whenever they feel anxious about changes ahead. familiesonline.co.uk

Education

Five ‘must-do’s’ when choosing a school for your child

By Judith Judd When my daughter was four, she came with us to visit several primary schools. Afterwards, we asked which she liked best.

“The one with the shoe shop” she said. As it happened, we also liked the one with the (pretend) shoe shop and so that is the school we chose.

Maybe it doesn’t always make sense to take a 4 year old’s advice when choosing a school but it’s always important to put your child at the centre of the process. Parents know better than anyone how different individual children can be.

The first rule for choosing a school is to ignore the label.

Research about different types of schools – academies, specialist, free, grammar - reveals that the type of school doesn’t guarantee the level of the education.

The second is to visit the school. When you do, check out the relationship between children and teachers. Do teachers pay attention to what the children are saying? Do they respect them?

You want your child to be happy at school and the relationship with teachers matters.

Find out what progress pupils make during the time they arrive at school and by the time they leave. Schools’ exam results at GCSE and in national tests at age 11 give an idea of the sort of children who attend the school but they don’t indicate progress. You can get an idea how good a school’s teaching is by looking at progress measures available on government websites for that school.

A word about grammar schools Concerned that there are no grammar schools in your area?

This may not be something you need to worry about.

A big study from Durham University suggests that bright children do just as well in non-selective schools as grammar schools. Professor Stephen Gorard says: “Dividing children into the most able and the rest does not appear to lead to better results for either group.” He says that there is no evidence that a particular type of school leads to better attainment.

However, he adds that parents may choose grammar schools for the reason that they tend to cream off the more advantaged pupils in an area so that the neighbouring schools have to cope with a disproportionate number of disadvantaged and more challenging children.

familiesonline.co.uk

Look at the Ofsted report. Inspectors give ratings: outstanding, good, requires improvement, inadequate. But equally important is their assessment of how different groups of children fare. A school may do well with able children but not those who struggle and vice versa. The reports also give an idea of a school’s strengths and weaknesses. That’s particularly important for older children who may have particular talents and interests.

Talk to the Head Teacher. Leadership is crucial to a school’s success. It’s important that you have confidence in the Head and that she/he impresses you with their engagement with staff and pupils.

Whilst choosing a school feels like a daunting process, bear in mind also that research shows that whilst schools and teachers are important in helping children thrive, parents’ support at home matters more.

Judith Judd is co-author, with Wendy Berliner, of the book How to Succeed at School: Separating Fact from Fiction: What Every Parent Should Know. Published by Routledge and available from Amazon and good book stores.

Reception testing delayed to 2021

The government’s plan to introduce Reception Baseline Assessment (RBA) will be delayed until September 2021 because of the disruption caused by the coronavirus pandemic.

In September 2017, the Department for Education announced that a new start-of-school assessment for children ages 4 and 5 would be introduced as a baseline measure to track progress during primary school.

The test is due to eventually replace key stage 1 SATs in providing the baseline on which pupil progress scores are based. The new tests have been criticised by some teachers, Head Teachers and parents, who claim it is unnecessary, will cause distress and could damage children’s future learning.

More info: www.gov.uk/guidance/reception-baselineassessment

Families East Kent 7

Education

Why bribing children is bad for their education

By Wendy Berliner Many parents have been there. They have a child who will not eat vegetables or won’t tidy their room. Or any other behaviour from a long list!

With battle lines drawn and no significant improvement from hectoring or cajoling, bribery can follow. If you eat your broccoli, you can have your pudding; if you put your dirty laundry in the washing basket, you get extra pocket money.

It seems so simple, especially if it gets results. But should you be doing it? The answer from half a century of research is a resounding NO. Bribes and their frequent partner, punishment, don’t help children become capable of their most creative work.

A highly influential motivational theory known as selfdetermination developed in the 1980s after research found that paying students for solving puzzles actually demotivated them.

In essence, students offered money for solving Soma puzzles (precursors to Rubik’s Cube) lost interest when they were given extra unpaid time at the end of experiment to carry on solving puzzles. Students in a separate test who were not offered money carried on trying to solve the puzzles after they were told the test had finished.

Subsequent research with children and students of different ages with differing tasks has repeatedly confirmed the phenomenon.

The nub of the theory is that by offering rewards or bribes you undermine the value of the task and the motivation to do it.

There are two types of motivation – extrinsic and intrinsic (also known as controlled and autonomous). Rewards and punishment form extrinsic motivation. Someone is doing something to you to make you do something. It isn’t something you are doing by choice.

Intrinsic motivation comes from within and is what is needed to become an independent learner capable of your best work.

It means you do things because of the enjoyment, interest and value you get from them not because someone tells you to.

A child who spends hours playing computer games is intrinsically motivated – it’s just not the kind of motivation that is necessarily good for them.

So how do you develop that all-important intrinsic motivation in your children?

The theory argues humans require certain needs to be met before they can become motivated from within.

Competence – we need to feel confident and effective in what we are doing. We have a human need to build our skills. To facilitate this, don’t tell your children they are no good at things if they struggle. That includes when you are trying to be kind – a comment like “I wasn’t any good at maths either” is telling them they aren’t competent.

Relatedness - we need to feel a sense of belonging to others, to feel cared for by groups that are important to us and to care for others. So make the atmosphere at home kind and supportive.

Audiobooks improve literacy

Audiobooks can benefit children’s reading skills, according to new research published by the charity, the National Literacy Trust.

The report looks at the advantages of listening to a recording of a novel being read, and the impact on young readers.

The research suggests that listening to a recorded story requires the same mental skills as reading in print, so audiobooks can help with understanding words and remembering information. They can also give children access to a broader range of texts and engage readers who might be reluctant, struggling or developing.

Emily Best, from the National Literacy Trust, said: “Audiobooks can be the key to unlocking a child’s love of reading. They enable children of all reading abilities and interests to access and explore the incredible world of stories, which are brought to life by a range of exciting voices, different accents and sound effects.”

More info: www.literacytrust.org.uk 8 Families East Kent

Autonomy – we need to be able to decide what we do rather than be coerced. To assist with this, help your children learn to take responsibility for what they are doing, so that they can make good choices by themselves on how to use their time.

That last one is really important. The child who understands the importance of getting good grades at school if they want a worthwhile and interesting career, may internalise those arguments and do their homework willingly because they see the value of doing so; they have become autonomously motivated.

Over to you!

Wendy Berliner, with co-author Judith Judd, are authors of the book How to Succeed at School: Separating Fact from Fiction: What Every Parent Should Know. Published by Routledge and available from amazon and good book stores.

Sources Deci, E. L. (1971). ‘Effects of externally mediated rewards on intrinsic motivation’. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 18(1), 105-115. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/h0030644 Deci, Edward L., Ryan, Richard M. (1985) ‘Intrinsic Motivation and SelfDetermination in Human Behavior’. Springer Science & Business Media. familiesonline.co.uk

Early Years

Clever ways to get your child eating healthily

By Gabrielle Nash Do mealtimes fill you with dread? Does your child have little interest in broccoli and beans? Encouraging their children to eat healthily is a dilemma many parents face. Whether you’re trying baby-led weaning or desperate to get vegetables into a pre-schooler, we’ve got some top tips on how to give their children the best start at the dinner table.

DO get your child involved. Can you offer them a choice of 2 or 3 healthy options? Even if they can’t chop the vegetables, can they wash them? Psychologists suggest giving a child an element of control will help them engage with mealtimes.

DON’T allow snacks 1 to 2 hours before mealtimes. If they come to the table hungry, they’re more likely to eat and even try something new. Sticking to similar times for snacks and meals will also help.

DO have a family meal. Often bad behaviour at the dinner table stems from wanting attention. Even if you don’t eat, can you sit with your little one and talk to them about their food?

DON’T insist on clean plates, especially if you bribe them to finish. Children are good at regulating their appetites and always insisting on finishing food or offering a bribe can lead to problems later in life. Remember: it’s the parent’s job to provide, the child’s job to decide.

DO model good eating behaviour. Your own anxiety towards food can contribute to poor eating in children. Think about how you approach and talk about food.

DON’T offer alternatives. Or if you have more than one child, don’t make separate meals. If a child comes to expect yoghurt, toast or cereal when they don’t eat, they will soon learn to refuse even favourite meals.

DO encourage and praise; stress does not encourage a child to eat. Show them how you enjoy YOUR food. Don’t try “they’re good for you” when commenting on e.g. green beans. Use statements like “these are so juicy” “eating lots of food gives me lots of energy for playing with you.”

Lastly, remember, you’re in charge of what food is in the kitchen.

If you buy healthier options, your children will grow up with a healthy and varied approach to food. So eat varied, fresh food and eat it with pleasure.

Follow Gaby @thelondonishmum on Instagram.

More healthy eating tips Dr Pandora Giles from the University of East London works with parents and children. Here are her ideas for encouraging young children to eat healthily.

•

Make meal times fun. Chat, sing and talk about the food. What colour is it? Where do potatoes come from? Playing and laughing works better than stern instruction.

•

Encourage food play. Make a face out of fruit or a forest with broccoli! Desensitizing children to tastes and textures makes them more likely to try new foods.

•

When introducing new foods, offer them alongside a favourite.

Children whose fathers make time to play with them from a very young age may find it easier to control their behaviour and emotions as they grow up, according to new research.

•

If your child is eating little but drinking a lot of e.g. milk or juice, consider cutting back. Only offer water in between meals.

The study carried out by Cambridge University and the LEGO Foundation looked at how mothers and fathers play with children ages 0 to 3 and how it affects child development.

•

Have clear mealtimes that last around 20 minutes.

Longer than that it can get stressful or boring!

•

Eat with your child when possible and offer encouragement.

Although there are similarities, it found that fathers tend to engage in more physical play like tickling, chasing, and piggyback rides, which researchers claim appears to help children to learn to control their feelings.

•

It’s never too early or too late to start. Even if you’re still pregnant or breastfeeding, try to get a good varied diet.

With older children, tastes change so it’s never too late to introduce some variety.

Playtime with Dad

Professor Ramchandani, one of the authors of the study, said: “Physical play creates fun, exciting situations in which children have to apply self-regulation. You might have to control your strength, learn when things have gone too far – or maybe your father steps on your toe by accident and you feel cross.”

More info: www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/ S0273229720300307

familiesonline.co.uk

Families East Kent 9

Health

Keep it Moving!

By Gabrielle Nash One of the pleasant, unexpected consequences of lockdown, was witnessing families taking to their screens for some physical activity, courtesy of the likes of Joe Wicks and Cosmic Kids Yoga. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all stay motivated to be physically active?”

With childhood obesity a pressing issue, even more so given the link between obesity and poorer Covid-19 outcomes, staying active is a priority. Instilled at a young age, a love of physical activity stays with a child for life, decreasing their risk of many major health conditions and offering endless mental health benefits.

But screen time, inability for children to roam unsupervised outside and busy family lives can interfere. The first thing you can do is set boundaries for screen time and use it as a privilege to be awarded to your children, rather than a default activity.

It’s challenging to re-create for our children the physical benefits of roaming freely and unsupervised outside, climbing trees, building dens, running around or even just riding bikes in the street. Efforts to do so now involve planning and structure. Look for places nearby or within a reasonable driving time that offer similar opportunities to be physically active outside. National Trust, Forestry Commission and Woodland Trust outdoor spaces are a great option, as are local parks, commons and heaths, and coast lines.

Finding time for family fitness is hard. Making it part of a new routine requires effort. Start by prioritising one outdoor physical activity a day at weekends and during holidays and as many walks to school or nursery and plays in the park as possible at other times. Once something becomes habitual, it is easier to continue.

Your attitude is vital. So be positive about any element of activity!

Top Tips for Getting Active Don’t be over-ambitious. It doesn’t need to be a 10 mile hike!

Go for a walk, bicycle ride or scoot anywhere for any length of time. Just do it often.

If there is something that motivates your child, find new ways of exploring it. For example, if cycling is a big interest, set them a challenge. If they are little, then cycling to the end of the road and back is sufficient. If they are older, what about seeing how many new places you can visit with their bike in a month?

Diversify and keep it fun. Don’t see it as a chore! If you do, your children will too.

Here are some resources for fun ideas: Boing Kids (www.boingkids.co.uk) Learning Station Music (www.learningstationmusic.com/youtube-videos) Fun Exercises with Kids (www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/grownups/fun-exercises-to-do-athome-with-kids) Visit Gaby on Instagram @thelondonishmum

Why You Should Role Model Physical Fitness Why is it so important that us parents get active too?

Make it fun. Try some dancing. Put on a few songs that get your kids up and moving and away from a tablet. Play musical statues. You could even have a “prize” for the winner.

We are the most important role models for our children. Our behaviour influences their behaviour and ultimately, their future health and happiness. So, inspire them and lead by example!

Set screen time limits so kids grow up knowing screens are not the only entertainment option.

If you are already active, great. Can you talk to your children about it? Explain why you do it but avoid talking about weight loss and physical appearance at all costs. Instead, focus on how it helps you to run around after them, carry them, play with them and importantly, emphasise that it makes you feel good!

Make time! Life is busy, so think of creative ways to insert some extra activity. Can you scoot to a friend’s house? Can you get off the bus one stop early? It all counts.

Look for new options. These could be new outside places to go to enjoy physical activity or new types of activity to try.

Set a good example. Live an active life yourself and explain to your children that it makes you feel good and STRONG! 10 Families East Kent

If you are struggling to get active, find simple activities that work for you and get your kids involved. Start off with 2 or 3 extra walks a week; try some gentle stretches/yoga at home.

Then maybe move onto a more organised option: coach to 5k, Joe Wicks, swimming or a walking group. familiesonline.co.uk

Clubs & Classes

Out of school, not out of action

By Andrew Campbell

As children move through primary school, the number meeting the recommended amount of physical activity for healthy development and weight drops by an astounding 40%.

This poses parents with a challenge. How to find their children physical activities they enjoy, feel successful doing and, crucially right now, are available in a safe, socially distanced way? Bear in mind, that whilst government guidance on social distancing allows for certain sports activities to be pursued, there is likely to be limited availability in many areas.

Here’s our checklist of out of school sports that can currently be pursued: Badminton A great way to get into racket sports, badminton helps develop coordination, agility and balance. It can be played indoors over winter. Visit www.badmintonengland.co.uk Cycling Cycling is part of growing up. It gives children independence and keeps them fit too. Local cycling clubs offer expert coaching, some amazing cycling facilities as well as an opportunity to make cycling buddies. Visit www.britishcycling.org.uk Dancing Dance is a way for kids to express their creativity, imagination and emotions. Dancing can also increase your child’s flexibility, range of motion, physical strength and stamina, as well as provide vital exercise.

Football As well as being the most popular sport in the world, football is one of the most well-rounded sports developing a host of physical and cognitive skills. Visit www.thefa.com Gymnastics A demanding sport that requires perseverance and discipline.

It develops strength, speed, power, coordination, flexibility and balance. The sense of accomplishment gained from mastering complex physical feats helps children face and overcome their fears. Visit www.british-gymnastics.org/discover Swimming If your child has shown an aptitude for swimming during lessons, they may enjoy the thrill of competitive swimming in a local club.

Bear in mind pools are re-opening slowly; some may not re-open this year. To find a local club, visit www.swimming.org Tennis Tennis helps children develop valuable life skills like respect, fairplay and concentration. It can be played all year round and into adulthood. Visit www.lta.org.uk activities which build confidence, boost concentration, develop communication Quote EK141120 fo and help coordination. We have left r no stone unturned when it comes to introducto an health and safety but the children £40 disco ry unt. will be having so much fun that they will barely notice a difference.

Book by 14 Nov Whilst there won’t be hand-holding games this term, there will be lots of eye contact, funky moves, fantastic diction and learning about how to be a great friend.

Perform runs drama classes for 4-7s and 7-12s as well as Perform At Home, popular online classes. Book a FREE noobligation class by visiting www.perform.org.uk/try

Perform returns with Covid safe confidence building fun Families talks to Perform’s Principal, Lucy Quick.

We’ve always put children at the heart of everything we do and we’re thrilled to be back in real life with classes filled with laughter, fun and confidence-boosting activities.

We’ve put enormous effort into adapting our class content to ensure that we follow the latest government health guidelines whilst making sure the children can still sing, dance, act and have the best fun of the week.

To help children get back to enjoying the things they love most, our autumn term is packed with games and familiesonline.co.uk

Local Perform classes in East Kent Perform weekly drama, dance and singing classes are available in East Kent at:

Ashford St Mary’s Community Centre,Rylands Road, TN24 9LH Faversham West Faversham Community Centre,Bysing Wood Road, ME13 7RH Folkestone St George’s Church,8 Audley Road, CT20 3QA www.perform.org.uk/try

Families East Kent 11

What’s on

What’s on highlights Autumn

Your guide to family events in East Kent this autumn. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, please check with the venue or their website before you set off to an event incase things have changed since we went to print.

Autumn at Hever Castle

HERITAGE OPEN DAYS Running from 11 - 20 September, this is the largest volunteer led festival in the UK. We’ve found some great events that would be ideal for families who are looking to save money but still have a great time with their kids.

Entry is free to all events.

The theme this year is Hidden Nature, and it’s an opportunity to explore nature and embrace the benefits of being outdoors.

For the first time, there are digital events, so audiences can tune into fascinating talks, tours and exhibitions from all over the country. See www. heritageopendays.org.uk for full details.

Local Heritage Open Days 11, 13, 17 & 18 September Margate Caves Margate Caves, Margate, CT9 1FG 10am – 4pm Explore underground and discover over 200 years of history in Margate. Pre-booking required.

11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 19 & 20 September Sandwich Medieval Centre The Quay, Sandwich, CT13 9EN 10am – 4pm Come to experience our reenactors demonstrating a range of medieval crafts and trades. No booking required.

12 & 13, 19 & 20 September Stories of Dover Dover, CT16 1LA The seafront of Dover is one of the most historic places in England. No booking required.

Dover Greeters - local volunteers - will be in the middle of the prom, by the Swimmers statues to tell stories, have a little walk and point out interesting places to visit.

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13 September The Beaney House of Art and Knowledge Highlights Tour Canterbury, CT1 2RA 11am I Pre-book Discover highlights from the Beaney’s collection, including our very own mummified cat, as well as stories about key artworks, artefacts and colourful characters. Email learning@canterbury.gov.uk 19 & 20 September Shorncliffe Garrison - 200 years history Shorncliffe Redoubt, Shorncliffe, Folkestone Saturday 11am & 2pm, Sun 11am Visitors can view the military landscape, and how military needs have changed over the years, and how some of the site has been reclaimed by nature.

Booking is essential.

20 September Canterbury Roman Museum Highlight Tour The Roman Museum, Canterbury, CT1 2JR 11am I Pre-book Step back in time and venture beneath the streets of the modern city to discover evidence of a bustling Roman town with a guided tour. Email learning@canterbury.gov.uk

DIARY DATES Throughout September & October Orienteering Betteshanger Park Deal, CT14 0BF 9.30am - 3pm Embark on an adventure through the park as you walk or run one four orienteering courses. Orienteering is an exciting outdoor sport that provides a mental and physical challenge.

Hall oween half term fun at Hever Castle

24 October – 1 November www.hevercastle.co.uk Spooky Halloween fun is ensured at Hever Castle this Autumn Half Term.

Don your best creepy costume for a pumpkin trail in the grounds (try and spot the unusual varieties) or keep your eye out for pumpkin masterpieces on display from Hever Castle staff. Visitors have a chance to vote for their favourite with the winner of the most popular pumpkin announced at the end of Halloween at Hever.

Join in by sending in pictures of your pumpkin masterpieces with the chance to receive a treat (or a trick?!) on social media, using #HalloweenatHever by Friday 30th October.

5 September Learn to Ride Betteshanger Park Deal, CT14 0BF 10-11am I £17.50 Aimed at children aged 5 -12 years, ‘Learn to Ride’ sessions are perfect for those who have never ridden a bike before and those who are ready to move on from stabilisers.

1-25 October Autumn in Colour Hever Castle & Gardens Edenbridge, TN8 7NG As the gardens turn vibrant shades of red, pink and gold and the leaves tumble from the trees, it’s the perfect time to enjoy autumn colour at Hever Castle & Gardens.

24 Oct-1 Nov Halloween Half Term Fun Hever Castle & Gardens Edenbridge, TN8 7NG Treat the children to a spine-tingling programme of entertainment over the Halloween half term break with creepy craft workshops, awesome activities and a spooky trail to follow in the grounds.

24 October – 1 November Spooky Dover Castle Dover, CT16 1HU 10am – 5pm Gather your little monsters for a ghoulishly good day out at Dover Castle this half term. Follow the trail to solve creepy clues and gather round to listen to spooky stories. There’s a frighteningly fun fancy dress competition every day – just come in your scariest outfits to be in with a chance of winning.

26 October - 1 November Halloween Half Term at Leeds Castle Maidstone, ME17 1PL There will be lots of ghoulish games and frightening fun to be had at Leeds Castle this October half term. Pre-book your tickets online. Event included in the price of your ticket. familiesonline.co.uk

What’s on

Win a magical break to Santa's Lapland in 2021 Enjoy a Reindeer sleigh ride, sledging with huskies, exploring a real igloo and much more, including a once in a lifetime private visit with Santa himself!

To enter, visit SantasLapland.com/families by 30th October 2020.

Terms & conditions apply, please see website for details.

A VIBRANT RHYMING STORY CELEBRATING YOU BEING PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

Illustrations © 2020 Kate Hindley

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familiesonline.co.uk 2439-Halloween-2020-87x130mm-AW.indd 1

02/09/2020 15:06

Parenting

Who will take care of the children IF….? Why every parent needs a Will

By Andrew Campbell Deciding who will take care of your children if the worst happens is a tough one. If one parent dies, then the other parent automatically takes over parenting responsibilities.

However, if both parents are no longer around the situation is not straightforward for your children.

Some parents think that by appointing godparents they have taken care of this eventuality. However, a godparent is not a legal guardian and has no legal rights. If both parents were to die, godparents would not automatically assume legal responsibility for the children.

So you need a legal will which appoints a guardian. If you don’t appoint a legal guardian, you don’t get a say in who would take care of your children. The state will step in and appoint a guardian based on its view of what is best them. This risks exposing children to court battles, family disputes and potentially even foster care.

So how do you choose the right guardian? In many instances this is not a clear-cut decision.

Parents often choose their own parents – their children’s grandparents. But you need to have regard for the age of grandparents. Would they be able to care for your children in 10 years’ time when they have grown into teenagers?

Sometimes parents look to one of their siblings – an aunt or uncle to the children. But what if there are multiple siblings on both sides – how do you choose?

It’s sensible to discuss with a sibling whether they would want the responsibly of raising your children. Being a parent isn’t for

New Divorce Laws Good for Children

everyone. Also, do they already have their own children? Would you be comfortable with your child being raised in the same way?

Would your sibling be able to cope with more children in the family?

There are practical considerations too, such as the geographical location of the proposed guardian. Consider the upheaval that could be caused if your child has to relocate, move school and make friends at a time when they have lost both of their parents.

Nobody feels good about the idea of their child facing the world without parents so it’s totally normal to feel that whatever decision you make about a guardian, it’s is going to feel less than perfect. In the end, what’s important is that you appoint someone who would have your child’s best interests at heart. What’s MOST important is that you don’t ignore the issue.

No one knows what life has in store so it’s important to plan for the unexpected. Parents spend most of their lives trying to protect their children so try to think of making a will and appointing a guardian as just a way of protecting them legally.

Visit www.childlawadvice.org.uk for more information.

6 Top Tips for Making a Perfect Will

New divorce laws, expected to commence in autumn 2021, will help reduce family conflict and be beneficial for children, according to the government.

Make the Time to Write a Will: it’s estimated that one in three people die without having made a will, which can cause problems and financial worry for their loved ones.

Divorcing couples will no longer have to “blame” each other for the breakdown of their marriage. Current divorce laws require one spouse to provide evidence of ‘unreasonable behaviour’ even where a couple has made a mutual decision to part ways.

A Will is for Everyone: if you die without one, the intestacy rules determine who inherits what and your loved ones could miss out.

A new law will enable couples to divorce without making accusations of bad behaviour, by giving notice that a marriage has broken down irretrievably.

Justice Secretary David Gauke said: “Hostility and conflict between parents leave their mark on children and can damage their life chances.”

The relationship charity Relate believes the current faultbased system often results in increased animosity, making it harder for ex-partners to develop positive relationships as co-parents.

More info: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/newdivorce-law-to-end-the-blame-game 14 Families East Kent

Use a Professional: choose who draws up your will wisely.

Seek professional legal advice and use a qualified and regulated solicitor covered by the Solicitors Regulation Authority.

Choose your Executors Well: executors are responsible for exercising your estate in accordance with your instructions after you have died. Choose them carefully! It can be a demanding task and you should always ask people if they mind taking on this role.

Appoint Guardians – see above!

Decide who you Want to Get What and When: planning who will inherit what and when, where children are concerned, helps prevent the many family feuds that follow a person’s death. familiesonline.co.uk

Kids Activities

WOODLAND MAZE

AUTUMN DAYS

Find these Autumn words in the grid. Then read the unused letters on lines 7 to 10 from left to right to find a hidden message!

Little Owl has got lost in the woods.

Can you help him get home by drawing a path to his tree?

Z N T R Q K G Y R T H P

H C M V P U M P K I N W

A H I P W S E O M E M T

R V S Q U I R R E L S H

PUMPKIN HARVEST ACORN

V P T A C J T W C H C S

E O A T F N O U H E O B

S N E R M L O R A S B F

T D G O L D E N Y S W J

P F W A I Z U W L O E U

S Z H S C H I L L O B K

B P R P I V T A O N A P

A P P L E D A C O R N N

COBWEB HAY CHILL SQUIRREL HALLOWEEN MIST APPLE

PICTURE CROSSWORD Can you solve the picture clues and put them in the crossword?

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Families East Kent 15

AN OUTSTANDING INDEPENDENT SCHOOL FOR BOYS AND GIRLS AGED 0 - 18

To reserve your place or to arrange a bespoke tour of the school visit kentcollege.com or contact Admissions at admissions@kentcollege.co.uk or 01227 763 231

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