How to talk about racial discrimination

How to talk about racial

discrimination By Suzanne Brown

‘I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.’ Martin Luther King Jr.

All parents dream of a world where their children are treated fairly, free of the various discriminations which exist. But how do we achieve this?

When and how? The 'when’ is easy. Start early! Scientific studies show that children have formed lifelong attitudes about skin colour by the time they reach pre-school age.

The 'how' is trickier but there are many ways to approach this sensitive topic. Some parents may avoid talking about racial discrimination out of concern that they will say the wrong thing and make things worse. However, if these issues are never broached, we risk making race a taboo subject.

Teach kindness From babyhood we can teach our children to be givers and receivers of kind words and actions. When kindness is second nature from a young age it helps avoid situations in which discrimination arises.

Teach justice Another starting point for young children is to explore what they think is fair and unfair. Then, at a pace suitable for your child’s level, pace and comprehension, gradually expand discussions to incorporate an understanding of racial justice.

Model good behaviour Remember, children are always watching, listening and learning from us, particularly from our sub-conscious actions. Observing special occasions such as Black History Month and different cultural events and festivals is fantastic. However, children are more likely to pick up and imitate the attitude they see you display towards others on a daily basis.

Use resources There is a wealth of TV programmes, films, YouTube videos, racially diverse toys and books to help explain matters in an age-appropriate way. To see our resource list, visit www.bit.ly/FamiliesResources

What if you suspect racism at school? If your child believes a racist incident occurred at school, firstly praise them for reporting it to you. Calmly gather all the facts, reassuring your child as they go along. Try not to show your own upset or anger. Work in partnership with your child’s school for the best outcome.

Discrimination is something to be tackled in small but meaningful daily steps. It’s our little everyday actions, as well as our skill and diplomacy in dealing with bigger issues, which convince children of our integrity.

Resilience and self-acceptance No matter who your child is and whatever their ethnicity, it is likely that at some stage in life they will be marked out as ‘different.’ Find ways from a young age to build up their resilience and self-acceptance. Building articulate children Children who have the verbal ability to cope with wordplay will be less likely to be browbeaten by hurtful ‘jokes’ of a racial (or other) nature. Build the articulation of younger children with stories and role play and use regular family discussions for older children.

Teach children to make the best of themselves In our house we like to call it building their ‘superpowers,' - whatever makes your child special to those who know them: kindness, sense of humour, patience, loyalty, sporting/artistic/musical talent, a happy smile etc. Help them to celebrate these superpowers so they are regularly reminded that they (and others) are valued for more than their appearance alone. There are many books written for children of all ages which will help them embrace their own individualities and welcome the differences in others.

Building identity

Pride in their ethnicity

Whatever your child’s ethnic origin, they should wear it as a badge of honour, because that’s what it is. There is so much richness in everybody’s cultural background: language, cuisine, festivals, religion, traditional dress, songs, country flags, family stories passed down from previous generations. Your child’s genuine pride in their own roots will shine through to all who meet them and help create a strong armour against any negativity they may face.

Stories

There is an abundance of stories from around the world - everything from nursery rhymes to traditional fairy tales and novels. Can your child draw parallels between the characters in the books and themselves? The less children see different cultures as ‘other’ to themselves, the better. There is more that unites us than divides us. We all belong to one race: the human race!

Finally, don't feel you need to be an expert on racial discrimination. The important thing is that our children see we are open to talk and willing to learn.