Family Times May2013 by Family Times

The Parenting Guide of Central New York www.familytimes.biz | May 2013

Being selfish is not a bad thingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;at all

PLUS

The problem of the sexy mama

Finding sneaky sugar and getting it out of kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; food and drink

Moms Who

Jam

(It All In)

Mixing music, kids and other stuff Family Times May 2013

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00150753-00008-00 150753-00007-00 Ed. Ed. 04/2013 05/2012 Exp. Exp. 10/08/2014 05/01/2013

contents

may 2013

8 Family Jam

Mixing music, kids and other stuff into a life that rocks.

Editor’s Note

Show and Tell

Storytime

Linda Lowen delves into the problem of the MILF.

Family 10 Atypical A “selfish” mother is a happy mother, according to Deborah Cavanagh and friends.

Moments 14 Teachable Parents can help their kids

Summer Fun and Camp Fair 2013 in photos.

achieve the lasting learning that starts from the inside.

RE CAPTU

moment Parker Wall, age 6, is a member of the Syracuse Challengers Baseball League. He was photographed by his mother, Tracy, at a Syracuse Sky Chiefs fund-raiser at the Holiday Inn Convention Center in Liverpool. Information about Challengers events can be found at http://challengerfieldofdreams.org. To submit a photo for our Capture a Moment feature, visit www.familytimes.biz and click on the “Submissions” tab.

10 Matters 16 Family Knowing about sex and relationships helps protect kids from sexual abuse.

Recipe Doctor 20 The Sugar has crept into all kinds of foods. What can parents do?

These Days 28 Kids Teens do not have to feel isolated by their differences.

Family Fun Calendar Events Advertiser Index Camp ..................... 12-13, 26-27 Learn ................................ 18-19 Party ................................. 30-31 Practice ................................. 32 Backpack Directory............... 46 Family Times May 2013

Editor’s Note

Redefining Motherhood

e thought of calling this the “This Is Not Your Mother’s Mother’s Day Issue.” Mother’s Day (May 12) is often associated with honoring a kind of self-sacrifice that many of us moms in the trenches don’t aspire to. In this issue of the magazine, we offer some ideas about motherhood that don’t involve martyrdom. For example: Maureen Henesey has managed to pursue a serious interest in music and being in bands while raising children (two, plus a third expected in June) and working (conventional) jobs. Read about Maureen and two other musician mothers in the story on page 22. Is it selfish to do something just for the love of it, when mothers have so many other demands on their time? Deborah Cavanagh, mother of two kids, one with special needs, thinks selfishness is actually a good thing. In her column this month she talked to three mothers to find out what they do for fun (page 10). Lastly, Linda Lowen investigates what it means to be a MILF, the partially unprintable acronym that claims to separate the mothers who are worth having sex with from the ones who aren’t (page 8). But there’s more than mothers in this May issue: photos from Family Times’ Summer Fun and Camp Fair; a look at sugar’s stealthy increase in what our kids eat and drink; strategies for helping your kids avoid sexual abuse; ideas for fostering motivation; words of comfort for teens who feel different; and our calendar of events, full of spring activities.

family times The Parenting

may 2013

Guide of Central New York

issue No. 133

PUBLISHER/OWNER Bill Brod Editor in chief Reid Sullivan MANAGING EDITOR Bill DeLapp Photographer Michael Davis OFFICE COORDINATOR/CIRCULATION MANAGER Christine Scheuerman DESIGNERS Meaghan Arbital, Caitlin O’Donnell, Briana Viel SENIOR DESIGNER AND WEBMASTER OF FAMILY TIMES Briana Viel Contributors Deborah Cavanagh, Tammy DiDomenico, Eileen Gilligan, Emma Kress, Linda Lowen, Cary Rector, Tonja Rector, Maggie Lamond Simone, Chris Xaver ADVERTISING CONSULTANTS Gina Fortino (ext. 115) GinaFortino@syracusenewtimes.com Lesli Mitchell (ext. 140) LMitchell@syracusenewtimes.com Joseph Monkofsky (ext. 112) Jmonkofsky@syracusenewtimes.com

Reid Sullivan Editor in chief

Holly Timian (ext. 139) Htimian@syracusenewtimes.com COMPTROLLER Deana Vigliotti (ext. 118) CLASSIFIED SALES Lija Spoor (ext. 111)

Subscribe to Family Times by mail and receive 12 issues for only $20. Call (315) 472-4669 to order. On the cover: Maureen Henesey, a member of two local bands, is joined by her sons, Luke, 6, and Matthew, 4. Inside: Maureen and two other local mothers have made music a priority in their lives. Jessica Novak tells their stories starting on page 22. Michael Davis photos. Briana Viel design. Correction: Our April story on disabled children and animals, and the accompanying sidebar, “The Price of a Service Dog,” contained errors related to 4 Paws for Ability Inc. and the Stearns family, who are raising money to acquire and train a service dog for their son, who has autism. The Stearns family lives in Cicero (not Clay). 4 Paws for Ability requires nine to 11 months to train each dog once funds are secured to acquire the animal. Once the dog is fully trained, the dog receives an additional two weeks of intensive training with the person who will use it. Alec Stearns, age 8, will use the dog at home and when he’s out in the community; the dog will not accompany him to school, as the article stated. Each animal and its training cost $22,000, Christina Stearns said in an email. 4 Paws for Ability requires families raise $13,000 of that price through benefits and other activities. As of early April, the family had raised $9,500 through fund-raisers and its website, https://sites.google.com/site/alec4paws/home.

Advertising deadline for June is May 16. Calendar deadline for June is May 3. 4

Family Times May 2013

Family Times 1415 W. Genesee Street, Syracuse, NY 13204 (315) 472-4669 fax (315) 422-1721 www.familytimes.biz

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More than 100,000 readers each issue.

e d i v o r p u Yo . e v o l e h t . s k a re b x ta e th e id v . s ro k p a l re Wee’l’ll provide the tax b W

Saving vS. Borrowing Saving vS. Borrowing Total Cost: In this scenario, if you borrowed $38,000 60

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$48,365 Cost: Projected Total $48,365 College Projected College Expenses: 5% Owed Expenses: $38,292 5% Owed $38,292 6% 6% Return Borrowed: Return Invested: Borrowed: $38,000 Invested: $21,600 (At$38,000 5% interest paid overinterest 10 years) $21,600 ($100 a month for (At 5% paid years) for ($10018a month 18 years)

over 10 years)

Intothis if you $38,000 payscenario, for college, youborrowed would have to tospend pay for college, you would to twice as much than ifhave you saved † than if you saved spend twice as much on a regular basis. on a regular basis.† This example assumes that the investor This example investor saves $100 aassumes month forthat 18the years. saves $100 a month for 18 years. It also assumes the borrower takes out a Itloan alsofor assumes theatborrower takes a $38,000 5% interest andouttakes loan for $38,000 5% interest and takes ten years to pay at it back. ten years to pay it back.

This hypothetical example does not represent the return on any particular investment. The final account balance does † not reflect any taxes or penalties that may be due upon distribution. Actual costs of borrowing and returns on This hypothetical example does not represent the return on any particular investment. The final account balance does savings willany varytaxes and or may be higher lowerbethan not reflect penalties thatormay duethose uponshown. distribution. Actual costs of borrowing and returns on savings will vary and may be higher or lower than those shown.

Investment returns are not guaranteed, and you could lose money by investing Investment in the plan. returns are not guaranteed, and you could lose money by investing in the plan.

* Earnings on nonqualified withdrawals may be subject to federal * Eincome arnings on nonqualified withdrawals may be subject to federal tax and a 10% federal penalty tax, as well as state and local income tax and a 10% federal penalty tax, as well as state and local income taxes. Tax and other benefits are contingent on meeting income taxes. Tax and other benefits are contingent on meeting other requirements and certain withdrawals are subject other requirements and certain withdrawals are subject to federal, state, and local taxes. to federal, state, and local taxes. ** Up to $10,000 is deductible from New York State taxable income ** Up to $10,000 is deductible from New York State taxable income for married couples filing jointly; single taxpayers can deduct for married couples filing jointly; single taxpayers can deduct up to $5,000 annually. May be subject to recapture in certain May to beanother subject state’s to recapture certain up to $5,000 annually. circumstances — rollovers plan orin nonqualified circumstances — rollovers to another state’s plan or nonqualified withdrawals. withdrawals. Before you invest, consider whether your or the designated Before you invest, whether your ortaxthe beneficiary’s homeconsider state offers any state ordesignated other benefits beneficiary’s stateforoffers any stateintax or state’s other benefits that are onlyhome available investments such qualified that are only available for investments in such state’s qualified tuition program. tuition program.

With New York’s 529 College Savings Program Direct Plan, With New York’s 529 College Savings Program Direct Plan, all your growth is tax-deferred and your withdrawals are all your growth is tax-deferred and your withdrawals are tax-free when you use the money for tuition, room & tax-free when you use the money for tuition, room & board, books and fees.* Plus, as a New York taxpayer, board, books and fees.* Plus, as a New York taxpayer, you’ll earn a New York income tax deduction** you’ll earn a New York income tax deduction** every year you contribute. every year you contribute. Call 1-800-376-9166 Call 1-800-376-9166 or vist ny529directplan.com or vist ny529directplan.com

The Comptroller of the State of New York and the New York State Higher Education Services Corporation are The of the State of and thefor New York State Higher Education Services Corporation are theComptroller Program Administrators andNew are York responsible implementing and administering the Direct Plan. Upromise the Program Administrators and are responsible for implementing administering the Direct Plan. Upromiseand Investments, Inc. and Upromise Investment Advisors, LLC., serve and as Program Manager and Recordkeeping Investments, Inc. and Upromiseand Investment Advisors,forLLC., serve asoperations, Program Manager Recordkeeping andThe Servicing Agent, respectively, are responsible day-to-day including and effecting transactions. Servicing areInvestment responsibleManager. for day-to-day operations, effecting transactions. Theand VanguardAgent, Group,respectively, Inc. serves and as the Vanguard Marketingincluding Corporation markets, distributes, Vanguard Group, serves underwrites theInc. Direct Plan.as the Investment Manager. Vanguard Marketing Corporation markets, distributes, and underwrites the Direct Plan. No guarantee: None of the State of New York; its agencies; the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC); NoThe guarantee: the State of New York; its agencies; Insurance (FDIC); or Vanguard None Group,ofInc.; Upromise Investments, Inc.; nor the anyFederal of their Deposit applicable affiliatesCorporation insures accounts The Vanguardthe Group, Inc.; Upromise Inc.; nor any ofreturns their applicable affiliates accounts or guarantees principal depositedInvestments, therein or any investment on any account or insures investment portfolio. guarantees the principal deposited therein or any investment returns on any account or investment portfolio. New York’s 529 College Savings Program currently includes two separate 529 plans. The Direct Plan is sold New York’s College Savings currentlyinincludes twoPlan, separate plans. The Direct Plan isfinancial sold directly by529 the Program. You mayProgram also participate the Advisor which529 is sold exclusively through directly by the You may also participate the Advisor whichexpenses is sold exclusively financial advisors andProgram. has different investment optionsinand higher Plan, fees and as well asthrough financial advisor advisors and has different investment options and higher fees and expenses as well as financial advisor compensation. compensation.

F or more information about New York’s 529 College Savings Program FDirect or more information about New York’sand 529Tuition College Savings Programat Plan, obtain a Program Brochure Savings Agreement Direct Plan, obtain a Program Brochure and Tuition Savings Agreement at www.ny529directplan.com or by calling 1-800-376-9166. This includes investment www.ny529directplan.com by callingand 1-800-376-9166. This includes investment objectives, risks, charges,orexpenses, other information. You should read and objectives, risks, charges, expenses, and other information. You should read and consider them carefully before investing. consider them carefully before investing. Family Times May 5 ©2012 2013 State of New York ©2012 State of New York

Show and Tell

Camp Fair Fun at the Fairgrounds

n the second year of the Summer Fun and Camp Fair at the State Fairgrounds Horticulture Building—and ninth year of the event itself—Family Times welcomed hundreds of visitors eager to check out the exhibitors’ tables. Dozens of summer programs, camps, destinations and other businesses captured the interest of parents gathering information about how they and their kids want to spend the warm-weather months.

1. Madison Mayer, age 6, with her father, Chris 2. Party Pals’ Mickey and Minnie wait for visitors 3. Open Hand Theater’s giant puppet (operated by Vladimir Vasyagin) works the crowd 4. East West Team Martial Arts students give a demonstration 5. Nick Longo of Stop the Hate, Spread the Hope talks about bullying 6. A worker at Rohe Farms/Summer on the Farm introduces a chick

photoS michael davis

Family Times May 2013

e By Linda Low

Making Peace with ‘MILF’ Is motherhood a beauty contest or isn’t it?

Pediatric Associates, LLC www.PediatricAssociatesNY.com

LIVERPOOL

8086 Oswego Rd. 652-1070

CAMILLUS

601 North Way 487-1541

FREE PRENATAL CONSULTATION STAFF ON CALL 24 HRS. A DAY

Family Times May 2013

m .co me sti eam Dr

Caring for CNY children for more than 40 years.

“No photos!” I barked as I held my newborn for the first time, arrogant as any Hollywood A-lister swarmed by paparazzi. But who was I kidding? Hair hanging in greasy strings, eyes bloodshot from pushing during labor—I was far from red carpet material and it was only my husband trying to take our first mother-child photo. But motherhood isn’t a beauty contest, right? Inside the fitting room I tried on my first skirted bathing suit. It was late August and my post-pregnancy baby flab hadn’t gotten the message that it was supposed to be long gone. My extended family was planning a Labor Day picnic at Verona Beach State Park, and I still couldn’t fit into my pre-pregnancy clothing. Seeing myself in the mirror, I felt the urge to moo. But motherhood isn’t a beauty contest, right? For 99.9 percent of human history, it hasn’t been. But all that changed with the rise of the MILF. If you’ve never heard of it, MILF is an acronym for Mother I’d Like to Fornicate with. (That’s not the actual F word, but this is a family magazine.) And people are taking her seriously. Really. Go visit the card section at Target during the

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”Y

ou look hot!” a woman said as she passed me on the hiking trail at Chittenango Falls. She eyed my tight tank top and even tighter shorts as I sat on a park bench taking a breather. I nodded gamely. I’d been hearing that a lot from strangers. Walking across the parking lot after an appointment with my OB/GYN, pushing my cart at the grocery store. Everywhere I went women, men, even teenagers would tell me I looked hot. Then their brows would crease and they’d add, “Are you all right? Can I help you? Maybe get you something?” Of course I looked hot. It was early June with temperatures in the low 90s and I was dripping with sweat. I was 16 days past my due date, 60 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, and my ankles had gone missing weeks ago. My too-tight clothing was as snug as a straightjacket and I was so big Goodyear wanted me to fly over next year’s Super Bowl. I looked so hot I was a walking public service announcement for the warning signs of heat stroke. But motherhood isn’t a beauty contest, right?

month of May. You’ll see there are “Happy MILF Day” cards. The idea of mothers as sex objects upends everything we’ve been led to believe. Motherhood has always been a sacred institution. For centuries, only saints and angels outshone the lady with the baby. Stroll through any art museum around the globe and you’ll see gilded paintings of prim madonnas and somber babes giving testimony to the sexlessness of mothers. Even when a breast is exposed it reads as religious rather than raunchy. Motherhood has always offered women an umbrella of protection and acceptance

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culture, and the 2003 song “Stacey’s that we gratefully took shelter under. If Mom” by Fountains of Wayne became her any of us ever looked a little disheveled, anthem. Yet the MILF has hovered at the or frazzled, or downright unattractive, edge of public consciousness for decades. motherhood was our excuse, our get-outAlthough she predates the term, the of-jail-free pass. At least that’s true for us mother of all MILFs is Mrs. Robinson, the American moms. iconic character played by Anne Bancroft In comparison, European women are in the 1967 movie The Graduate. (She held to a higher standard and are expectcould arguably do double-duty as a coued to keep up appearances, kids or no gar, but that’s another column for another kids. It’s the difference between Honey time.) Boo Boo’s Mama June and Mad Men’s As much as she might like to be one, a Marie Calvet (French-Canadian mother of woman isn’t a MILF unless she’s the focus Megan Draper, played by Julia Ormond), of a young who proves man (or boy’s) that even fantasy. Surf women “of a Today, motherhood is a beauty into any online certain age” contest. Those virtuous Miss America forum about can sizzle. MILF and the Today, attributes of poise, intelligence and comments will motherhood is talent? Pffft. It’s all about the swimsuit reveal why a beauty conthis image test ... and it’s competition, and the winner is the resonates with rigged. Those MILF in the string bikini. males. virtuous Miss Some America attribelieve the MILF is a figure of female butes of poise, intelligence, style, grace and talent? Pffft. It’s all about the swimsuit empowerment. After all, she’s re-established the sexual attractiveness of women competition now, and the winner is the at that point in the life cycle during which smoking MILF in the string bikini. female sexuality has historically been You know what’s the biggest irony? downplayed or ignored. For hundreds of She hasn’t been around long enough to years, when a woman assumed the manbe of legal age. The 1999 film American tle of motherhood she entered a state of Pie gave birth to the MILF in popular U.S.

beatific grace. She no longer sought out carnal love because motherly love was enough. In contrast, the MILF is comfortable being both a mother and a sexual object—and she’s proud of both roles. So in many ways the MILF is a kick in the pants for the rest of us. She reminds us that we shouldn’t see ourselves as old and dried up and physically unappealing once children enter our lives. There’s merit in taking care of ourselves, in not settling for that skirted bathing suit or continuing to “eat for two” when we’re long past nursing. This is not to say that motherhood should be a beauty contest in which we are pressured to strut our stuff. But neither should it be an excuse to give up on ourselves and stand in the wings for the rest of our lives. Just because we’re mothers doesn’t mean we can’t still turn heads and make hearts flutter. If we can embrace our dual lives as moms and sexual beings, that sort of self-acceptance is very, very hot. Stacey’s mom isn’t the only one who’s still got it going on. p Linda Lowen writes for MSN.com, teaches at the Downtown Writer’s Center and is co-producer and co-host of Take Care, a health and wellness radio show on WRVO. She lives in Syracuse with her husband and two daughters.

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Family Times May 2013

A typical Family

B y D e b o r a h C a va n a gh

Being Selfish Mothers of kids with special needs have needs, too

have always loved tennis. I watched John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg as a kid. I roomed with tennis players at Le Moyne College and was their most vocal and consistent fan. I encouraged my children to learn the sport. So it made sense a few years ago when I told the pro at Drumlins Tennis Club I wanted to give lessons a try. After all, my children, Amanda, who has Down syndrome, and Jason, were in school all day. Amanda’s type 1 diabetes and celiac disease were being managed. I had a few spare hours a week. My husband, Brian, would be happy I was taking up a sport. We, as a family, had the funds. I remembered a piece Erma Bombeck penned years ago called “God Chooses a Mom for a Disabled Child.” Midway through the column, as God explains his choice to an angel, he says, “‘She has just enough selfishness.’ The angel gasps, ‘Selfishness? Is that a virtue?’ God nods. ‘If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive.’” But spending money on something just for me seemed extravagant. Taking up an activity with no “kid factor” seemed self-indulgent. Balancing typical and special needs motherhood felt all-encompassing. Medical challenges, school program meetings, therapy appointments, sports practices, volunteer efforts and homework left me exhausted. Did I want to do something just for me? Yes. It was time. And here are three other moms who felt the same way. Angela Knittel lives with her husband, Karl, son, Michael, 22, and 14-year-old twins Marie, who is typical, and Mandy, who has a dual diagnosis of Down syndrome and autism. Angela started scrapbooking when her twins were 3. A friend from her daughter’s preschool invited her to a Creative Memories party. With her new tools she started her first project, a book commemorating her nieces’ senior year. A scrapper was born. Since then she has continued to collect supplies and attend scrapbooking weekends and evenings. A single project begun on a whim has grown into a passion. “My husband, Karl, has sports,” Angela says. “This is my thing.” She attends National Scrapbooking Weekends and evenings out when she can. They are like mini-retreats. 10

Family Times May 2013

“No husband, no kids, and a room full of women. You can get a massage, win prizes, listen to music and drink wine. We stay up all night in our PJs, share ideas, laugh and scrap.” Angela finds pleasure in watching her family looking through the books she has created. She knows they will be cherished while providing faces, names and a history with every page. “It is a stress reliever. As a typical mother and mother of a child with special

needs, when you are focusing on pictures, you are focusing on happy times. I am doing this for my kids as well as myself. It is a keepsake for them so they have memories of their childhood. They will know family that is no longer here.” Tina Cosentino lives with her husband, Jamie, and sons, Matthew, 30, Darius, 15, who has Down syndrome, Sam, 13, and Lucas, 11. A few years back she started tinkering in the kitchen. She knew she wanted to

As I have gotten older I have decided that it is all right to do something I want to do. —Cheri Iannotti

We’re your neighborhood

make food from her home and local growers. She read how preservatives and packaged foods affect allergies, weight, skin and attention span. She researched how to can, pickle and freeze. She started gardening. She saw the impact the changes had on her family. “I try as much as I humanly can to buy local food and cook all meals from scratch. You take a few ingredients and put them together to make a meal that everybody loves and appreciates. It validates me as a person and a mom.” What started out as a healthy hobby has become a way of life. Tina spends at least two hours a day with food. She finds her time in the kitchen therapeutic. “Life is demanding, with three sons at home. I also work as a home nurse. Cooking lowers my blood pressure and raises my endorphins. The repetitive motions required bring a sense of calm. I can turn off my brain and just cook.” Tina co-hosts a monthly food swap where people come together with homemade dishes to share. She enjoys what everyone brings to the table in both food and conversation. Cheri Iannotti lives with her husband, Lee, and children Gabriella, 17, who has Down syndrome, Dante, 13, and Tori, 8. She started cycling after a hip injury prevented her from participating in high-impact activities like running, zumba or even walking. A friend recruited her to join a ride for missing and exploited children. She started by taking a few classes. Last June she bought a road bike and has not looked back. “I prefer riding outside with a number of friends I have met over the course of the last year. These folks have been my encouragement, voice of reason, and the break I need from the day-to-day life of being a mother—not to mention a mother of a child with Down syndrome.” Cheri used to run for exercise as it was a quick way to get a workout. She felt funny taking two hours a day to go to a gym and take a class. She now realizes that taking care of her health is teaching her children the importance of doing the same for themselves. In addition, it is OK to take time for the things you enjoy in life. “As I have gotten older I have decided that it is all right for me to give myself permission to do something I want to do. This is like therapy. It is my quiet time, my chance to reflect on events in my life without interruptions. I have a social life away from the kids when I ride with my group of friends.” I have been taking tennis lessons for three years now. The women I play with understand family challenges, and they offer insight and support. They also know sometimes you just need to bash a ball around the court to feel better. My family now all own racquets. We play doubles together during the summer. They like to hear about my matches and come watch me play. Each one of us mothers looked initially to do something for ourselves. By separating from our families, we have brought them closer together. And isn’t that what all mothers strive for? p Deborah Cavanagh lives in Manlius with her husband and two children. She has written for local organizations supporting children and adults with special needs and publishes the blog www.momofmanyneeds.com.

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Teachable Moments

B y Emm a K r e s s

Why Rewards Don’t Work Self-directed learning is the best kind

he best way to get kids to be successful in school and life is to build up intrinsic motivation. This is the drive that comes entirely from the individual, as opposed to outside forces such as parents, grades or status. If a student works only for the “A”, he’ll never find the joy in learning for its own sake. If a child cleans her room only for the allowance, she will begin to expect money whenever she helps out around the house. The problem, of course, is that it’s a lot easier to threaten to take away a privilege for bad behavior or to reward good behavior. We’re all overworked and overwhelmed, and extrinsic motivators— rewards—get the job done quickly. Unfortunately, the research suggests that the more we use extrinsic motivators, the less likely we are to build intrinsic motivation in our children.

So what do we do? How do we raise children who are motivated to learn, contribute to our society and considerate of others? Set parenting goals. Start by thinking about the values, traits and skills you want your child to have as a grown-up. What’s most important to you? Perseverance? Kindness? Empathy? As you create your list, you’ll begin to see what really matters to your family. This is how teachers plan their year. It’s much easier to create learning experiences when you have some goals in mind. Nurture curiosity. Curious kids love to learn, and kids who are intrinsically motivated are curious. Pay attention to your child. If he begins to express an interest in animals, get him a subscription to a magazine like National Geographic Kids, take him to the zoo or volunteer at an animal

shelter. When you plan family activities, try to feed his interests. Develop relationships. Research suggests that we’re more likely not to require rewards when we feel connected to the people involved in the task. If rooms need to get clean, you might create some family time where that’s what everyone does. Perhaps make a game out of who can find the most items in unusual places (socks under the couch cushions), or blast music and dance your way through. Then, when you’re all finished, you can do something fun together. If social studies is your daughter’s least favorite subject, perhaps set up a regular study date with a good friend and turn memorizing dates into games they play for popcorn. Build perseverance. Several years ago, Carol Dweck, a renowned Stanford psychologist, conducted research that

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tined to fail, he won’t want to do the task. shifted the way people saw praise and If he struggles with a subject, then try to ability. Praising kids for their intelligence find someone to help him—the teacher, a didn’t seem to have a positive effect on tutor, an older sibling or a relative. Perhaps their performance. In fact, it limited their you and his teacher can work together to success because students began to see break overwhelming tasks into small, mantheir intelligence as a piece of luck or ageable chunks so that a series of small happenstance; it wasn’t something in successes will their control. lead to one They saw their big success at ability as fixed, If a student works only for the ‘A,’ the end. But rather than as he’ll never find the joy in learning for it’s equally something that important to could evolve its own sake. If a child cleans her find opporand develop. room only for the allowance, she will tunities to But when their teach him to effort or hard begin to expect money whenever push through work was recshe helps out around the house. moments of ognized, kids frustration to believed that build up his their success perseverance. Remind him (as you already was in their control. Include opportunities have) that you are proud of him and love for children to build their perseverance. him unconditionally. Remind him of all of When you do give praise, praise effort, the great folks who have failed repeatedly dedication and hard work. only to succeed spectacularly. Strengthen competence. One of the Allow for kid choice. I believe autonbiggest killers of motivation is failure or fear of failure. If a child feels that he is des- omy and independence are the biggest

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motivators for people. If children feel a sense of independence around their actions and learning, they become intrinsically motivated. When they choose the experience, they have a vested interest in getting something out of it. When they pursue the things that intrigue them, they will necessarily stay motivated to learn and persevere. Most of all, when they feel trusted by the adults in their lives to make these choices, they develop their confidence. Enjoy. We never want to do something that isn’t fun. Look back over your list of what you value. Create interesting experiences that will foster those particular qualities. Model them with your own behavior. Most of all, dream up fun ways to make this journey to adulthood as loving and enjoyable as possible—for all of you. p Emma Kress, a teacher at Cicero-North Syracuse High School, has held a variety of educational posts at levels from pre-K to 12th grade. Send comments about this article to editorial@familytimes.biz.

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Family Matters

B y c a r y a nd t o nj a R e ct o r

Harmful Intimacy Protecting your child from sexual abuse starts with information

ew situations make parents feel more vulnerable than thinking about how to protect their children from sexual abuse and sexual assault. As child and family therapists, the aftermath of sexual abuse and sexual assault is something we deal with regularly. Understanding an issue helps guide parenting decisions. One of the first steps to a better understanding of sexual abuse and sexual assault is to be clear about the realities. There are many misconceptions about sexual abuse, and media coverage can contribute to these misperceptions. Below are some facts about the issue and things for parents to think about and discuss with their children. Researchers estimate that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually assaulted before age 18. In two-thirds of assault cases, someone known to the victim is the perpetrator; 38 percent of rapists are a friend or acquaintance. Fortyfour percent of rape victims are children and teenagers. Sexual assault or abuse is far more common than most people would guess. In order for abuse to occur there must be an inequity of power. Power can be in the form of authority, physical stature or age. Children are easy victims.

Family Times May 2013

They do not possess power and in our society are taught to respect adults and do as they ask. Most sexual abuse involving children is not physically coercive. The more skilled the sexual perpetrator, the less physically coercive they are toward their victims. The majority of sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the victim knows and sexual abuse of children most often takes place in the context of a relationship. The perpetrator is someone the child trusts. Sexual abuse betrays this trust. Children assume that people who care for them are not going to cause them harm or emotional upset. Young children donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand the betrayal until they are older and have a greater understanding of what happened to them. This betrayal of trust is one of the most troubling emotional and psychological aspects of abuse. Sexual offenders are not a homogeneous group. They could be a single parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s boyfriend, a coach, teacher, relative or older child. Often they appear perfectly normal and trustworthy. Realizing most sexual offenders do not fit a stereotype can help sharpen your awareness of situations that pose a potential risk. For example, boundaries regarding sleeping arrangements at family gatherings are often not considered when it comes to groups of children. Are kids of various ages, both boys and girls, all sleeping together in one room? Adults who are not married or in a relationship would not usually share a room, and the same boundaries can apply to children. Sexual abuse always has an element of secrecy. Secrecy enables

the offender to avoid consequences and maintain access to the victim. The offender manipulates the child in order to maintain secrecy and these manipulations can vary widely. The manipulations range from the child receiving privileges, gifts or adult attention, to threats of harm to a family member. A child may be threatened that no one will believe her if she discloses the abuse, or she may be told she and not the perpetrator will be taken away from her family and punished. A childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s disclosure of sexual abuse, for this reason, should involve professionals who are able to help provide protection for the child. A sexual offender can become very desperate concerning the possibility of disclosure and may attempt to escalate his coercion to stop a child from disclosing the abuse. Rarely do sexual offenders accept responsibility for their actions. It is not uncommon for the offender to deny any involvement or to blame the victim. Participation does not equal consent. Children are not able to give consent for sexual activity. Young children who experience sexual abuse may become more emotionally distraught as they become older and realize how much they were betrayed by someone they thought cared for them. The more closely related

PEACEFUL AMERICAN

the offender is to the child, the greater the sense of betrayal and the greater the psychological impact. Parents need to educate children about sex and sexuality. The public schools offer sex education programs; however, school programs’ content varies greatly. This is too important a topic to not participate in as a parent. For young children, begin by identifying body parts and talk about private parts. Initially this may be uncomfortable for parents. There are many great children’s books on this topic you can read to help guide you. After talking about body parts and private parts, begin talking about good touch, bad touch and importantly, secret touching. There is no evidence that sexual knowledge leads to precocious sexual activity. In fact, the more accurate the knowledge your child has, the more power he possesses. This is not a one-time communication, but an ongoing process. As children become older, talk about relationship issues. Discuss with adolescents the type of relationship they want before engaging in intimate sexual contact. Sex doesn’t prove anything about a relationship and sex can have adult consequences. Talk about consent. Consent is based on choice and is possible only when there is equal power within a relationship. Giving consent is an active process, not a passive one. Adolescent girls can learn assertiveness and develop the ability to say “no.” Adolescent boys should hear about male responsibility, personal values and

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the elements of consent. Talk with adolescents about how to deal with someone who may pressure them for sex, how to handle someone who does not take “no” for an answer, feels sex is his right or uses emotional blackmail to obtain sex. Try to react to your adolescent’s disclosures in a way that encourages him or her to talk with you more in the future. Educate yourself as a parent about childhood sexual abuse and assault. Then empower your children with knowledge concerning the subject. It may be an uncomfortable topic but information and facts are your best bet in trying to protect your children as they grow. p Cary and Tonja Rector are married and live with their children in Manlius. Cary is a licensed mental health counselor and Tonja is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Consult your own health care provider before making decisions affecting your family’s well-being. To comment on this article, write to editorial@familytimes.biz.

Books on Sexuality A Very Touching Book … for Little People and for Big People, by Jan Hindman (AlexAndria Associates; 1983). What’s Happening to Me? A Guide to Puberty, by Peter Mayle (Lyle Stuart Inc.; 2000) Where Did I Come From?, by Peter Mayle (Lyle Stuart Inc.; 2000) Your Body Belongs to You, by Cornelia Spelman (Albert Whitman & Co.; 1997)

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The right stuff:

A bowl of steel-cut oatmeal has no added sugar.

RECIPE DOCTOR B y C hr i s X a v e r

Chris Xaver photo

Routing Out Sugar Sweeteners can be found in surprising foods, in surprising quantities

hat we don’t know can hurt us. We know soda is “bad” for us and our kids. But what about those foods touted as “healthy”? So many parents think giving their kids yogurt and juice is giving them “healthy” food. I’m going to share a story that breaks my heart, about a child very close to me. This beautiful 5-year-old girl has false teeth. Seriously. She didn’t fall down and go boom, either. Like perhaps hundreds of thousands of parents, the parents of this child thought juice was a healthy beverage. Meal after meal, glass after glass, she had juice. And, yes, she had juice in her bottle when her parents put her to bed. Her parents love

her. They just had no idea they were giving her too much sugar. What happened to water? When we fill our kids’ sippy cups, we should fill them with water. What they really need is hydration, not a sugary treat. And my tirade isn’t just about juice. It’s about snacks, meals and all kinds of foods. In my house, juice is out of the question. As are sugared drinks (think Kool-Aid and the like). We have water and milk. And not chocolate or strawberry milk. Milk as Mother Nature intended. And yes, I get pushback from a 6- and 9-year-old who are used to having flavored milks. But it doesn’t have to be all or nothing; if you want to serve chocolate milk, there

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are better alternatives. Ovaltine mixed into skim milk is a much better option than premixed chocolate milk from the store. So many foods have hidden sugars. Think about those yogurts that are designed for lunchboxes and kids on the go. They are filled with sugar! Some of it is added, but much of it is from the milk and the added flavors. A tube of kid-beloved yogurt has 13 grams of carbohydrates and 10 grams (two teaspoons) of sugar. Plus, it has very little protein, which is what kids really need. I’m not throwing yogurt under the bus. Heck, I eat a container of Greek yogurt every day. But I eat plain yogurt and stir in my own fruit, and it has twice the pro-

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tein of traditional yogurts, which equals staying power as a snack. Plus, the thicker, strained product is lower in sodium, carbs and sugars. Cereal is another place where sugars turn what can and should be a healthier option into a “treat” with as much sugar as a candy bar. And it’s not just the chocolate or brightly colored cereals. As adults, we need to read labels. If a cereal has more than five grams (about one teaspoon) of sugar per serving, we should buy a different type. In fact, in my house, when the kids ask for ketchup, I tell them they’re asking for sugar. The basic recipe for most ketchups is one-third sugar. And kids like to eat it by the quarter cup, not the teaspoon. Same with tomato sauce. Sugar. Corn syrup is a cheap thickener and balances the acidity in the sauce. So pizza sauce, prepared jarred spaghetti sauce and the Chef Boyardee brand of mushy pasta in a can weighs in at 10 grams (two teaspoons) of sugar per serving. There are healthier choices: All of the major food producers make reduced-sugar brands. They are worth seeking out. Let me show you how it all adds up. Recent studies from the American Heart Association recommend women have no more than six teaspoons of sugar a day, and men no more than nine. Sounds like a lot to work with, but when you think a single soda contains eight to 10 teaspoons of sugar, you can see the danger. Obesity, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and even cancer have been linked to blood-glucose levels. As the adults, we must seek out these potential disease-causing land mines in our children’s diets. Preschoolers consume fewer calories than adults, approximately 1,200 to 1,400 calories a day. So their sugar consumption shouldn’t be more four teaspoons of added sugar a day. Preteens and teens shouldn’t have more than eight teaspoons a day. And yet an AHA study indicates children ages 1 to 3 are already consum-

RECIPE

Slow-Cooked, Steel-Cut Oatmeal Ingredients

Directions

8 cups water

Combine water, oats and cinnamon in a 5- or 6-quart slow cooker.

2 cups steel-cut oats, (do not use old-fashioned, rolled or quick-cooking oats in this recipe) 1 stick of cinnamon (or 4 teaspoons ground cinnamon) Handful of almonds or walnuts (optional) ¼ cup sliced fresh fruit (blueberries or bananas are my choice) Stevia (optional) Find these Chris Xaver recipes and others on our Pinterest page at: pinterest.com/familytimescny

ing 12 teaspoons of sugar a day. But hold onto your hat. Four- to 8-year-olds are eating and drinking 21 teaspoons a day! And it’s much worse by the time they hit high school, when that number skyrockets to 34 teaspoons of added sugar a day. Our kids are addicted to sugar. No, they’re not dipping into the sugar bowl, they’re getting all those extra teaspoons in their foods. So, yes, I call my TV show The Sweet Life, not because I’m pushing sugary foods, but for the opposite reason: Changing recipes and paying attention to the hidden sugars in your diet can make your whole life a little bit sweeter and healthier. So I challenge us all to start with breakfast. Instead of pouring a bowl of sugary cereal and topping it with milk (more sugar), or toast and jam, or a toaster tart, let’s make a batch of good, old-fashioned oatmeal. Not the type that comes pre-

Set to low. Let cook overnight and enjoy in 7 to 8 hours. Spoon into a serving bowl and top with your choice of nuts, fruit and a teaspoon or two of stevia per serving. Makes 8 single-cup servings. Note: Steel-cut oats cook up like little pearls. They’re chewier and taste nuttier than the oatmeal I grew up with. “Like” us on Facebook and share pictures of you and your family trying our recipes!

mixed with sugar in an instant package, but the kind you cook yourself. Yes, oatmeal is a carb (sugar), but it’s also a whole grain. Add fresh fruit (think: blueberries), cinnamon and, for a bit of sweetness, a little stevia (a sugar-free, natural alternative). I also put almonds or walnuts in my bowl because I like the crunch and the extra protein. Because oatmeal has both soluble and insoluble fiber, it helps maintain blood-sugar control by slowing our digestion. Plus, slowly digesting foods make us feel fuller longer! That’s why oatmeal graces my breakfast table most mornings. Chris Xaver, Ph.D., is a local TV and radio personality with three children and five grandchildren. Her healthy lifestyle show, The Sweet Life, is airing on public television stations nationwide.

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Family Times May 2013

o one ever said being a musician was easy. But when female band members become mothers, it becomes much harder to keep a place for music in their lives. Three Central New York mothers have found a beat that blends their families and their music, one gig at a time. Often, they’ve depended on their music to keep them sane during trying times, brought their children to shows, and have even discovered that combining music and motherhood was their saving grace.

Maureen Henesey is mother to Luke, 6, and Matthew, 4, and is expecting her third child, a girl, in June. Henesey’s last pregnancy was difficult, so she is staying at home until this baby arrives, but in ordinary circumstances she’s also an occupational therapist aide at Crouse Hospital in the summers on the acute care floors and a member of two bands, Mere Mortals and the Easy Ramblers. “I like to be busy,” says Henesey, 36, who sings, writes, plays mandolin and guitar, and books and maintains social media for the bands. She and her husband, Michael, plan their schedules six to eight months in advance to account for all of their commitments. “(Music is) just a great outlet.” Henesey especially needed that outlet when her younger son was born 14 weeks premature. She spent 100 days traveling to see him at the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at Crouse Hospital. “It was really dramatic and stressful,” she says of

Leila Dean and her son, Collin

Maureen Henesey and her sons, Luke and Matthew michael davis photoS

the period she spent visiting her son and performing with Mere Mortals. “They were trying to replace me and I said, ‘No! This is the only normal thing I’ve got!’ It was a ridiculous time and I was grateful.” She got started performing with bands in the late 1990s when she was at a Soul Mates concert and said, “I could do that.” She hopped on stage for a few songs and got a call a few weeks later inviting her to join them. Although Soul Mates didn’t last long, that stint led to an invitation in 2000 to join Mere Mortals, a cover band she still performs with today.

Henesey joined the Easy Ramblers four years ago when Eddie Zacholl was putting together a group to perform on a Tipperary Hill Music Festival compilation CD and asked Henesey to participate. After the recording was done and well received, Zacholl, Dann Mather and Henesey decided to keep the project going. In 2011 the group won a Syracuse Area Music Award (Sammy) for Best Country album and is currently working on a second CD. “Creatively, to participate in the process of making music has been awesome,” Henesey says of her time with the Easy Ramblers. “It’s been a cool experience. And the Sammy was so totally unexpected. They announced us and we waited like 30 seconds and I was like, ‘Wait. . . We won!” One of the most gratifying parts of playing in bands, Henesey says, is watching her sons starting to get into music themselves. “I appreciate it more because they appreciate it,” she says. Matthew has been known to hop up on stage with his mother for shows, and Henesey likes to show off videos of family jams where the boys play toy instruments. “The most rewarding thing of everything I do is being a mom,” she says. “Michael is wonderfully supportive. I’ll bring the kids to a show, we’ll high-five and he’ll take them home. I think the fact that I can have an outlet like that, creatively. . . I’m very lucky for that.”

It had been 10 years since Leila Dean had picked up her violin when she was asked to play with the CXtec corporate continued on page 24

Family Times May 2013

Rocking Moms continued from page 23

band, the CXtec Dinosaurs, in 2007. She was working at the company when others in the band heard that she played the instrument. It wasn’t a question of whether or not she’d play: Dean was told she was in. She played with the group for the Red Cross Battle of the Bands competition for three years as well as other functions throughout the year before leaving the company in 2011. But the music didn’t stop there. Dean played with rock-pop group Just a Memory from 2011 until their recent hiatus and is working on several studio projects with musicians from Syracuse, Utica, Cortland and Rochester. She plays violin, sings, writes and was in charge of booking shows for the band while working in sales at Infinite Technology Solutions and raising her son, Collin, who is 7. Her husband, Kevin Dean, is a drummer for the local rock groups Brand New Sin and Hobo Graffiti. “If we didn’t have Google Calendars, I think we’d be screwed,” Leila Dean says, laughing. Also, she adds, “If we didn’t have my mother and mother-in-law, we would not be doing this.” “I think the fact that I can still share that (music) with people is what I love most,” she says. “Music’s not just an internal thing, it’s something I can share with everybody and that I can keep doing that with all the other stuff going on makes me feel good and brings me some happiness.”

Ashley Cox and her daughter, Chloe, at home (this page), and at Hammond Jammin’ in February (opposite page)

One of Dean’s favorite parts of the band gig included touring with Just a Memory, and meeting new people all along the East Coast. “I’m a big people person,” she says. “Doing this has opened a lot of doors for me, which is really amazing. I never thought I’d be someone who books bands, but I do and I’ve gotten to meet a ton of amazing musicians from all over the Northeast that I don’t think I would have been able to meet before.” Collin hasn’t started music lessons, but Dean sees them in the near future. He’s shown signs of solid rhythm and singing in tune, and he loves to dance. Putting together the pieces of the schedule and figuring out how to get around in the family’s one car can be a challenge, but Dean encourages other musician parents to stay involved in the scene. “Make sure you have a great support base,” she warns. “If you don’t have that team behind you, it’s impossible. But if you do, just do it. Don’t be afraid to do it. You’ll end up bitter. Find a way. There’s always time. Even when there’s no time—there’s time.”

Dressed in a studded black leather jacket and bright floral dress, Ashley Cox slips the coat off and says, “I’ll take off the rock and focus on the mom.” Then she laughs, and corrects herself: “No, I’m both. I’ve been doing it for 18 years.”

Cox, 39, is best known locally as a singer, songwriter and pianist, although she also plays guitar. She’s performed as a solo artist, with her band Professional Victims and with her father, Jimmy Cox, one of the best Hammond B3 organ players in the area. But becoming a mother really launched her as a musician, she says. “For me, I didn’t have the guts or even the ambition, the purpose, until I was a mother,” she says. “And then, after that, I thought, ‘I can do anything.’” Cox grew up playing music. Family jams were common in her household and her mother’s maiden name was even Musick. Her grandfather taught her how to play piano, pushing piano drills in the most loving way. “I had always played music for fun, but not professionally,” Cox says. “I hadn’t thought to go up and play shows.” She became more serious about music when she began dating a guitarist who would become the father of her daughter, Chloe. They met through mutual music-loving friends and Cox taught herself to play guitar in order to win more of his attention. “When he’d come over, I could be like, ‘Hey, look what I can do. I could teach you a few things if you want,’” she says. “A little bit of it was to get the attention from the boys.” At 21, Cox gave birth to Chloe. Although Cox was living with Chloe’s father at the time, the relationship didn’t last. Becoming a single mother changed her outlook on her music. “It fed the heartache, fed the songwriting,” she says. “It fed my desire to keep busy and do something wonderful with my life. Being a single mom at 21 was not something I ever saw in my future, but it ended up being the most amazing blessing I ever could have asked for. That kind of independence. That I can do anything. Writing those songs and knowing that they connected with other people, other women especially. They encouraged me to do it and keep going.”

oto davis ph michael

Family Times May 2013

With the help of family and friends, Chloe would travel with her mother to shows as much as possible. “When I was on stage, I had friend musicians side stage who were right there with her,” she says. But mostly Cox kept the fact that she was a single mother private. “I never really wanted to talk about having a daughter. Whether or not I was judged wasn’t the point. It’s such a big, personal part of my life and I didn’t want it out there. But now that she’s out and older. . . I can’t emphasize enough how much a part she is of my happiness. She is my biggest pride and joy.” Chloe, now 18, has a job at the Guitar Center on Erie Boulevard and plays a variety of instruments including guitar, piano and ukulele, and she sings. Chloe’s father remains an important part of his daughter’s life, and he and Cox maintain a healthy, supportive relationship, Cox says. Cox married Professional Victims bandmate Shawn Sullivan in 2010, and the spontaneous music making in her house now reminds her of her childhood. “We’re in the best place we’ve ever been in,” she says. “There’s lots of love and lots of music.”

Cox smiles as she puts her coat back on. She admits it wasn’t always easy trying to fit all the parts of her life together. But these days her band is on track, she’s got a steady job at CXtec, she’s achieved a harmonious family life, and she’s even giving competitive running a try, with her first 5K in May. Cox is also upbeat in her advice to others who might want to combine music and raising children. “Anybody, no matter what age, whatever they are, wondering if they’re ready, financially stable—stop,” she says. “Just know that, sure, kids need a lot, but I never planned on having a kid growing up at 21 years old, but I did it. It wasn’t easy, but I could still do it and pursue my dreams and even find out what it is I wanted to do. I never knew growing up. But in 100 ways, my life changed for the better because I had my daughter. If it wasn’t for her, I’m not sure that I’d be here now.” p Jessica Novak is a writer living in Syracuse.

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Family Times May 2013

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Family Times May 2013

Kids These Days

B y m a gg i e l a m o nd s i m o n e

Every Teen Feels ‘Different’ Others are going through what you are

And these are just the tip of the teen ear Kids: iceberg. What I wish you could know is I know this may come as a shock that there is nothing to be ashamed of. to you, but I was once a teenager. Someone, somewhere—and probably Don’t roll your eyes. I was. And I surmuch closer than you think—is going vived. It was a time of profound and through what you’re going through. Are sustained unhappiness for me, although you going to be embarrassed along the I never truly understood why. As I watch line? Absolutely. But then move on. you grow into teens, though, the reason For example, is becoming clearer, someone in because I can actuyour school has ally remember being What I wish you could a pimple right your age. I can put on the tip of know is that there is nothing myself back there. her nose, or And I finally know to be ashamed of. Someone, smack dab in the “why.” the middle of somewhere—and probably I felt alone. Even her forehead. with a few close much closer than you These are THE friends, there was WORST. When think—is going through what so much of my life it happens to cloaked in shame, I you’re going through. you, tell your felt entirely isolated. best friend, “I And shame thrives have this huge in isolation. zit and I’m so embarrassed by it!” I promIt’s a vicious circle, one I struggled with since I was old enough to understand that ise it won’t be so embarrassing. It happens my family had some issues. Everyone else’s to everyone. That’s the part that I particularly family seemed so happy; my situation was remember feeling—that no one else was different, and therefore, I figured, I must going through what I was going through. be different. It sure didn’t seem like anyone else was. When I got my period unexpectedly at But if I’d been able to talk to my friends school, I thought I would die; certainly I and family, I would have found differently. was the only girl who ever lived through If you have ever felt or experienced any that nightmare. It was the same with emotion, action or event that has made armpit stains in sixth grade. When I first you feel isolated or ashamed somehow … noticed them, I went into the girls’ bath• You’ve been excluded from an activity room and splashed water on myself, feignor event ing a catastrophic sink accident.

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Family Times May 2013

• You’re taller or shorter than your friends • You’re not as athletic as you’d like to be • You count compulsively, or clean, or pick at your skin or pluck out your hair • You’re gay • You wear glasses • You have acne • You’re heavier or thinner than your friends • You have braces • You have breasts, or you don’t have breasts • The boy or girl you like doesn’t like you in “that way” • You’re not quite sure what’s going on with your body • You don’t have clothes that the “popular” kids have • Your parents don’t make as much money as other parents might make • Your hair isn’t as thick/fine/curly/ straight as someone else’s hair • Your grades aren’t the same as someone else’s • You get depressed, or have OCD, or are obsessed about your weight • You have an undeserved reputation • You’re getting bullied • You have problems at home … just know that others feel them too.

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I won’t tell you these things don’t matter, because if they’re making you unhappy then they matter. What I WILL tell you is don’t be ashamed of them. You are not the only one who feels these things, or has these issues. Talk about them, and you’ll realize that other kids have these exact same problems but were afraid to bring them up because they thought they were the only ones. Talk to each other, and talk to trusted adults. The more you talk, the less painful—and shameful—these issues become. The teen years are such a powerful and memorable time of your life. . . don’t just survive them. Get rid of the shame, and live them. Love, Me Maggie Lamond Simone is an award-winning writer and mother of two living in Baldwinsville. Reach her at maggiesimone@verizon. net.

Corning Museum of Glass Corning, New York

See live glassblowing!

Something for everyone! Explore 35 centuries of glass art and history, get hands-on with the science and technology of glass, shop the international GlassMarket, or even Make Your Own Glass souvenir. Watch live glassblowing is limited so reserve your demonstrations—all day, every day.

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One Manhattan Square Rochester, NY 585-263-2700 www.museumofplay.org Syracuse Family Times 3.7 X 10

Family Times May 2013

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shoppingtown Mall location • 3649 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt • 445-0220 Great Northern Mall location • 4155 Rt. 31, Clay • 622-1330 also, The shops at ithaca Mall • Ithaca, NY • (607) 330-7979 Like us for speciaL offers!

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Family Times May 2013

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Family Times May 2013

• Camp will be 1 week sessions first week starting June 25th. Camp is limited to max of six campers per session. Please contact Sorrell Hill for further information. •Tuesday through Friday from 9 to 1 Each day includes a private riding lesson, crafts, hands on horsemanship and more. No experience required Ages 6 and up Contact Brenda or Terri at 315-638-5392 or by mail: 6871 W. Sorrell Hill Rd., Warners, NY 13164 terri@sorrellhillstables.com

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Family Times May 2013

Saturday, April 27 Healthy Kids Day. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Demonstra-

tions, information displays by health and safety organizations, play and educational activities aim to help families live healthier lives. Oneida Family YMCA, 701 Seneca St., Oneida (363-7788), and Rome Family YMCA, 301 W. Bloomfield St., Rome (336-3500). Free.

Public Fishing. 9:30-11:30 a.m.; also May 4,

11, 18 & 25. Families can come for a morning of fishing; bait, rods and reels provided. Carpenterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Book Fish Hatchery, 1672 Route 321, Elbridge. $5/ person. Registration required: 689-9367.

Healthy Kids Day. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. See above for description. North Area Family YMCA, 4775 Wetzel Road, Liverpool. Free. 474-6851.

Autism Awareness Walk. 10 a.m. Pledges

and donations are welcome but not required to participate. Presented by the Central New York chapter of the Autism Society of America. Long Branch Park, Longbranch Road, Liverpool. Free. 447-4466.

postpartum bodies, minds and spirits while bonding with their babies in a playful, healing and strengthening class. Basic Baby, Shoppingtown Mall, 3649 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. $15/drop-in; $60/ five classes. (406) 570-3549. www.mamabirthyoga.com.

Best of the Brick Weekend. 10 a.m.-8 p.m.;

Caring Kids. 1 p.m. Children in first grade and

Postnatal Mama and Baby Yoga. 11 a.m.-

3-4:15 p.m. Pregnant women can prepare their bodies and minds for labor, birth and mother-

also April 28. In conjunction with the Lego Travel Adventure exhibit, get a chance to take part in a Lego brick-building contest with your family, or meet Greg Hyland, the person behind some of the animation and packaging for Lego products. Strong National Museum of Play, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester. Admission: $13/general; free/ younger than 2. (585) 263-2700.

12:15 p.m. Mothers of infants can restore their

up, accompanied by a parent, will make fleece blankets for cancer patients at local radiology and oncology centers in this event sponsored by Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer. Fayetteville Free Library, 300 Orchard St., Fayetteville. $5 suggested donation for materials. Preregistration required: 637-6374.

Prenatal Yoga with MamaBirth Yoga.

Best of the Brick Weekend, April 27 & 28

Family Times May 2013

GREG HYLAND ILLUSTRATIONS

May 2013 hood with Sarah Oakley. CNY Healing Arts Center, 195 Intrepid Lane, Syracuse. $15/drop-in; $60/five classes. (406) 570-3549. www.mamabirthyoga. com.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 7 p.m. Cheer the

hometown Minor League Baseball team as they face the Durham Bulls on the grass field. Alliance Bank Stadium, 1 Tex Simone Drive, Syracuse. $8/ adults; $4/children; $20/behind-home-plate seats. Parking: $5. 474-7833.

Sunday, April 28 CNY SPCA Six-Legged 5K. 8:30 a.m. Run a

5K with your best canine friend at your side and help the Central New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Saw Mill Creek Shelter, Onondaga Lake Park, Onondaga Lake Parkway, Liverpool. $20-$30/minimum donation. 446-1444. www.cnyspca.org.

Healthy Kids Day. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. See April

27 listing. Southwest YMCA, Onondaga Community College campus, 4584 W. Seneca Turnpike, Syracuse, and East Area Family YMCA, 200 Towne Drive, Fayetteville. Free. 474-6851.

Bountiful Baskets Silent Auction. 11:30

a.m.-1:30 p.m. Erwin Nursery School auctions gift baskets to raise money for its universal pre-kindergarten program. Children will also give a concert. Erwin First United Methodist Church, 920 Euclid Ave., Syracuse. Free admission. 472-5580.

Best of the Brick Weekend. Noon-5 p.m. See April 27 listing.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 2 p.m. Vs. Durham Bulls. See April 27 listing.

Monday, April 29 Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 7 p.m. Vs. Durham Bulls. See April 27 listing.

Tuesday, April 30 Bullying Conference. 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Par-

ents and professionals can learn about the role of bullies, victims and bystanders in this conference on breaking the cycle of violence; featured presenter Barbara Coloroso, author and educator. Drumlins Country Club, 800 Nottingham Road, Syracuse. $85-$95/professionals; $55-$65/parents. Preregistration required: 472-4404; KohlsAutism. com.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. Noon. Vs. Durham Bulls. See April 27 listing.

Wednesday, May 1 Pizza and Early Literacy Storytime. 6

p.m.; also May 8. Children ages 3-5 can take part in programs that include traditional storytimes, computer activities and physical activities for a fun and engaging experience. Pizza and juice included. Children’s World, Central Library, Galleries of Syracuse, 447 S. Salina St., Syracuse. Free. 435-1900.

Multiple Moms Mingle. 6:30 p.m. Month-

ly meeting of mothers and expectant mothers of multiples. Ruby Tuesday, 3220 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. Reserve: 308-0277.

Thursday, May 2 Storytime. 10:30 a.m.; also May 9, 16, 23 & 30. A lively mix of stories, songs and rhymes for parent and child. Betts Branch Library, 4862 S. Salina St., Syracuse. Free. 435-1940.

Origami for Tweens. 4 p.m. Kids ages 9-12

can explore the ancient art of paper folding. Liverpool Public Library, 310 Tulip St., Liverpool. Free. Registration required: 457-0310. lpl.org.

Peter Pan. 8 p.m.; through May 11. Royal

Shakespeare Company version of J.M. Barrie’s rarely produced original fantasy uses a cast of professional and local actors and those with developmental and physical disabilities. Red House Arts Center, 201 S. West St., Syracuse. May 2 preview: $12.50; regular tickets: $10-$20. 362-2785. theredhouse.org.

Museum of Play, 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester. Admission: $13/general; free/younger than 2. (585) 263-2700.

Perusing with Pups. 11 a.m.-noon. Children

ages 6-10 can spend 10 minutes reading a book to a dog from Sunshine Friends. Onondaga Free Library, 4840 W. Seneca Turnpike, Syracuse. Free. Registration required: 492-1727. www.oflibrary. org.

Wildlife Festival, May 4

Friday, May 3 CNY Prevention Conference. 8 a.m.-2:30

p.m. One-day conference for people who work with youth addresses topics such as changing families, skill building with teens, and cyberbullying and the law. DoubleTree Hotel Syracuse, 6301 Route 298, East Syracuse. $70. 471-1359. www.cr-prc.org.

Polka Tot Children’s Consignment Sale.

3-7 p.m.; through May 5. Maternity, baby, toddler and pre-teen items. Great Northern Mall, 4155 Route 31, Clay. 884-5063. www.polkatotsale.com.

Peter Pan. 8 p.m.; through May 11. See May 2 listing.

Saturday, May 4 Polka Tot Children’s Consignment Sale.

8 a.m.-7 p.m.; through May 5. See May 3 listing.

Mommy & Me Rummage Sale. 9 a.m.-1

p.m. Maternity, infant, toddler and children’s clothing, toys, books, games, outdoor gear, bedding and more. Liverpool Elks Lodge No. 2348, 3730 Cold Springs Road, Baldwinsville. 558-3480.

Tiffany Heitkamp Walk for Wishes. 10

a.m. Registration at 9 a.m. Walk to benefit the Central New York chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation. SRC Arena, Onondaga Community College, 4585 W. Seneca Turnpike, Syracuse. Pledges. 475-9474.

KAY BURKETT PHOTO

Aladdin. 12:30 p.m. The Magic Circle Children’s Theatre presents an original, interactive version of the familiar tale. Children in the audience can dress up as a fairy tale character and help Aladdin find the magic lamp and win the princess’ heart. Spaghetti Warehouse, 689 N. Clinton St., Syracuse. $5. 449-3823.

Monarch Butterflies and You. 10-11 a.m.

Play Minecraft. 1-2 p.m.; also May 23. People of all ages can build worlds and fight off monsters with friends, new or old. Fayetteville Free Library, 300 Orchard St., Fayetteville. Free. 637-6374. www.fflib.org.

Wildlife Festival. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Families can

Family Movie Matinee. 2 p.m. See Disney’s North Avenue Irregulars, about the zany hijinks of church ladies trying to bring down a gambling ring. Rated G. DeWitt Community Library, Shoppingtown Mall (below food court), 3649 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. Free. 446-3578.

Learn simple steps to create a monarch way station and how to provide for the needs of other butterflies as well. Baltimore Woods Nature Center, 4007 Bishop Hill Road, Marcellus. $8/individual; $25/family. Register: 673-1350. learn about nature through live birds of prey programs; conservation-related puppet shows; canoe excursions; and activities such as making bluebird boxes. There’ll also be a bounce house, a stained glass craft, a backyard bass fishing game, and live music. Montezuma Audubon Center, 2295 Route 89, Savannah. $3/adults; $1/children; free/age 4 & younger. 365-3588.

Literature Live. 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; also May 5,

11, 12, 18 & 19. Meet characters in this weekend series that features storybook character appearances. May 4 &5: Frog and Toad. May 11 & 12: Max. May 18 & 19: Papa Bear. Strong National

Sciencenter Showtime. 2 p.m. Discover

what it takes to build a robot. Sciencenter, 601 First St., Ithaca. Admission: $8/adults; $7/seniors; $6/ages 3-17; free/under 3. (607) 272-0600.

Assault City Roller Derby. 5 p.m. Vs. Hudson Valley Horrors. Baldwinsville Ice Arena, 2725 W. Entry Road, Baldwinsville. $12/door ($2 off if dressed up as undead); free/age 10 & under.

continued on page 36

Family Times May 2013

calendar of events continued from page 35

307-0705. www.assaultcityrollerderby.com.

Peter Pan. 8 p.m.; through May 11. See May 2 listing.

Star Party. 8:30-10:30 p.m. Bring a blanket and watch the Eta Aquarids meteor shower, and Saturn and Jupiter, too (weather permitting; backup date: May 5). Baltimore Woods Nature Center, 4007 Bishop Hill Road, Marcellus. $8/individual; $25/family. Register: 673-1350.

Assault City Roller Derby, May 4

Sunday, May 5 Polka Tot Children’s Consignment Sale.

9 a.m.-3 p.m. See May 3 listing.

Insect Creations. 11 a.m. Kids ages 6-12, with an adult, will learn about insects on a walk with a naturalist. Back inside, kids will find out about insect anatomy and make an insect to take home. Beaver Lake Nature Center, 8477 E. Mud Lake Road, Baldwinsville. $9/child; $3/vehicle. Reservations required: 638-2519.

Literature Live. Noon-5 p.m. See May 4 listmichael davis photo

ing.

Syracuse Children’s Chorus Concert. 4

p.m. In this final concert of the season, all SCC ensembles perform, including the Young Men’s Ensemble for boys with changing and unchanged voices. Hendricks Chapel, Syracuse University

ON YOUR NEXT FAMILY VACATION...

GO BIG!

campus, Syracuse. $15-$22. 478-0582. www.syracusechildrenschorus.org.

Monday, May 6 Steampunk Club. 3:30-5 p.m.; also May 20.

Middle-schoolers can explore the topic through discussions of young adult steampunk novels and hands-on experiments based on themes in some books. Fayetteville Free Library, 300 Orchard St., Fayetteville. Free. Registration required: 637-6374. www.fflib.org/teen.

Art Exhibit Opening Reception. 6:30 p.m. Erwin Nursery School and Universal Pre-K Budding Artists Exhibit by children ages 3-5, taught by local artist Andrea Buckvold. Petit Branch Library, 105 Victoria Place, Syracuse. Free. 435-3636.

Bedtime Stories: Pond Life. 6:30 p.m. Kids

age 2 and up (with a caregiver) can hear stories about ponds and the cool creatures that call them home. Onondaga Free Library, 4840 W. Seneca Turnpike, Syracuse. Free. Registration preferred: 492-1727. www.oflibrary.org.

Tuesday, May 7 Mama Pajama’s Playhouse. 12:30 p.m. See the live, interactive musical story show that celebrates spring. Fairmount Community Library, 406 Chapel Drive, Syracuse. 487-8933.

Canterbury Stables CelebrAtiNg Our 9th YeAr!

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Love Horses?

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Family Times May 2013

Ages 6 & up. Space limited to six students per week with individual daily riding instruction by our full-time professional trainers. Different equestrian topics each week.

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May 2013 Syracuse Chiefs Baseball, throughout the month

Creation Club. 3:30-5 p.m.; also May 28.

Middle-schoolers will develop skills to create and edit videos, podcasts, images, 3D models and more using library software and hardware to share books they love with the community. Fayetteville Free Library, 300 Orchard St., Fayetteville. Free. Registration required: 637-6374. www.fflib.org/ teen.

Wednesday, May 8 Drop In for Crafts. 9:30 a.m.-8 p.m. Children from preschoolers to those in grade 6, with a caregiver, can make seasonal crafts with provided materials. Liverpool Public Library, 310 Tulip St., Liverpool. Free. 457-0310. lpl.org.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a Beaver. 10 a.m.; program also available

May 11. Kids ages 3-5, with an adult, will learn about animals by acting out how they behave. There will also be a craft and outdoor activities. Beaver Lake Nature Center, 8477 E. Mud Lake Road, Baldwinsville. $5/child; $3/vehicle. Reservations required: 638-2519.

Friends, Flowers & All That Jazz. 5:308:30 p.m. Fund-raiser to benefit Jowonio School features savory food samples, spirits, live music and a silent auction. Stickley, Audi & Co. Showroom, 300 Towne Drive, Fayetteville. $30/person for single; $25/person for 2 or more people. Reservations recommended: 445-4010, Ext. 215. michael davis photo

continued on page 38

Family Times May 2013

calendar of events continued from page 37

The Dragonslayers. 7 p.m.; through May 12.

Syracuse Children’s Theatre presents Bruce Coville and Angela Peterson’s musical. Mulroy Civic Center, 411 Montgomery St., Syracuse. $17.50/adults; $15/students & seniors; $10/age 12 & under. 4325437. www.SCTKids.com.

Peter Pan. 8 p.m.; through May 11. See May 2 listing.

Thursday, May 9 MOMS Club of Syracuse-East. 9:30 a.m.

Gathering for local kids and moms. Manlius United Methodist Church, 111 Wesley St., Manlius. Free. 289-5990. momsclubsyreastny.tripod.com/.

Peter Pan. 8 p.m.; through May 11. See May 2 listing.

Richard Mickelson Book Signing. 6-8 p.m. Author of The Wizard of Oz, Where Is He Now?

signs copies of the book. Barnes & Noble, 3454 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. Free. 449-2948.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 7 p.m. Vs. Norfolk

The Dragonslayers. 7 p.m.; through May 12.

Peter Pan. 8 p.m.; through May 11. See May 2

Friday, May 10

Saturday, May 11

Toddler Dance Party. 10:30-11:30 a.m.

Library Farm Family Fun Day. 10 a.m.noon. Plant sunflowers and pumpkins in the community garden at Northern Onondaga Public Library at Cicero, 8686 Knowledge Lane, Cicero. Free. Registration required: 699-2032. nopl.org.

See May 8 listing.

Kids ages 18 months-5 years (with a caregiver) can dance, play musical instruments and blow bubbles. DeWitt Community Library, Shoppingtown Mall (below food court), 3649 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. Free. 446-3578.

First Lego League. 3:15 p.m. Monthly meet-

Tides. See April 27 listing.

listing.

The Dragonslayers. 10 a.m., 2:30 & 7 p.m.; through May 12. See May 8 listing.

ing for library’s Lego League team. Fayetteville Free Library, 300 Orchard St., Fayetteville. Free. Registration required: 637-6374. www.fflib.org.

Literature Live. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. See May 4

The Dragonslayers. 7 p.m.; through May 12.

Make a Craft. 11 a.m. Kids age 4 and up

See May 8 listing.

listing.

can make a fun craft. Children’s World, Central Library, Galleries of Syracuse, 447 S. Salina St., Syracuse. Free. 435-1900.

Monarch Butterflies and You, May 4

Curious George Visits Storytime. 11 a.m. This storytime

features a Curious George tale and a visit by Curious George himself. Barnes & Noble, 3454 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. Free. 449-2948.

Star Wars Adventure. 2 p.m.

Kids age 5 and up can go an an adventure featuring Yoda yoga, light sabers, Chewbacca fortune telling, and more. Onondaga Free Library, 4840 W. Seneca Turnpike, Syracuse. Free. Registration required: 4921727. www.oflibrary.org.

Sciencenter Showtime. 2

p.m. Challenge a robot to a game of checkers, and meet robots that can cook pancakes and make ice cream. Sciencenter, 601 First St., Ithaca. Admission: $8/adults; $7/ seniors; $6/ages 3-17; free/under 3. (607) 272-0600.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 2 p.m. Vs. Norfolk Tides. See April 27 listing.

Peter Pan. 2 & 8 p.m. See May 2 listing.

Make your next birthday party Magical, with Mike the Cartoon Magician

45 minute Magic Show and a Caricature of Each Guest!

487-4453

Family Times May 2013

May 2013 Sunday, May 12

Wednesday, May 15

MOTHER’S DAY

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 7 p.m. Vs. Columbus Clippers. See April 27 listing.

Symphoria Horn Section Concert. 2 p.m. Featuring Jon Garland, Paul Brown, Julie Bridge and Stephen Laifer. Fayetteville Free Library, 300 Orchard St., Fayetteville. Free. 415-8635.

Chemsations. 2 p.m. High school students demonstrate chemistry reactions such as disappearing ink and dry ice. Sciencenter, 601 First St., Ithaca. Admission: $8/adults; $7/seniors; $6/ages 3-17; free/under 3. (607) 272-0600. The Dragonslayers. 2 & 7 p.m. See May 8 listing.

Garden Tour at Sycamore Hill. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Enjoy over 250

acres of landscaped gardens and ponds, 500,000 flowering bulbs and 700 flowering trees and shrubs. A benefit for Baltimore Woods Nature Center. Sycamore Hill Gardens, 2130 Old Seneca Turnpike, Marcellus. $5/advance, through May 4; $10/adults; free/children under 8. 673-1350. www.baltimorewoods.org.

Literature Live. Noon-5 p.m. See May 4 listing.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 2 p.m. Vs. Norfolk Tides. See April 27 listing.

Monday, May 13 Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. Noon. Vs. Norfolk

Thursday, May 16 Terrific Thursdays.

11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. In this session of the series for homeschooling families, kids from preschool on up can do age-appropriate exploration of fairy tales. Kids in grade 3 and up can read Adam Gidwitz’s book A Tale Dark and Grimm. Additional children in the group can take part in activities in a separate room. DeWitt Community Library, Shoppingtown Mall (below food court), 3649 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. Free. Registration required (including names and ages of all children attending): 446-3578.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 7 p.m. Vs. Columbus Clippers. See April 27 listing.

Friday, May 17 FFL Kidsignment Sale. 1-7 p.m.; through May 19. Consignment sale of children’s clothing and toys to benefit Fayetteville Free Library. Shoppingtown Mall, 3649 Erie Blvd. E., DeWitt. 637-6374. bus Clippers. See April 27 listing.

TACNY Junior Café Scientifique. 9:30-11

a.m. The Technology Alliance of Central New York talk this month focuses on the chemistry of color. MOST (Museum of Science and Technology), 500 S. Franklin St., Syracuse. Free. Reservations required: jrcafe@tacny.org.

FFL Kidsignment Sale. 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; through May 19. See May 17 listing. Literature Live. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. See May 4 listing.

Young People’s Concert. 10:30 a.m. Sym-

phoria performs a concert of music about animals, including Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Flight of the Bumble Bee.” Open Hand Theater and dancers from the Ballet and Dance Center are also featured. Crouse Hinds Theater, Oncenter, 411 Montgomery St., Syracuse. $15-$25. 435-2121. www.oncenter.org.

Big Rig Day. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Kids and families can climb behind the wheels of a fire truck and other large vehicles provided by area companies and organizations. Presented by the City of Syracuse Parks and Recreation Department. Burnet Park, Coleridge or Avery Avenue entrance, Syracuse. Free admission; small fee for some activities. 473-4330, Ext. 3006. www.syracuse.ny.us/parks. 1:30 p.m. In this movie by Peter Jackson, follow Bilbo Baggins as he’s swept into a quest to reclaim the Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the dragon Smaug; rated PG-13. Children’s World, Central Library, Galleries of Syracuse, 447 S. Salina St., Syracuse. Free. 435-1900.

Sciencenter Showtime. 2 p.m. Meet some

Saturday, May 18

Tuesday, May 14

Komen CNY Race for the Cure. 8-11:30

bus Clippers. See April 27 listing.

a.m.-4 p.m. Fishing clinics for beginners, games and educational activities, guided tours of the hatchery, displays, live music and more. Locations around the hamlet including the State Fish Hatchery and Otselic Town Park, South Otselic. Free admission. 653-7490.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 7 p.m. Vs. Colum-

Tides. See April 27 listing.

Syracuse Chiefs Baseball. 7 p.m. Vs. Colum-

South Otselic Fishing Heritage Day. 9

trained canines and learn tips and tricks for teaching your own. Sciencenter, 601 First St., Ithaca. Admission: $8/adults; $7/seniors; $6/ages 3-17; free/under 3. (607) 272-0600.

a.m. Ceremony, activities and a 5k run and a run/walk raise awareness and funds for breast cancer research; registration at 7:30 a.m. State Fairgrounds, Geddes. Registration: $30-$40/adult; $20/age 18 & under; $15/under 12. 472-6162.

At Your PlacePlace AtYour Your Place At

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continued on page 40

Summerwood Pediatrics Robert A. Dracker, MD, MHA, MBA, CPI Medical Director

• Caring for children from birth - 22 years of age • Open evenings Mon-Thurs • Open Sat/Sun mornings for sick visits at our Liverpool office • All major insurances accepted • Onsite certified full service laboratory • Only local Certified Medical Home • Home Visits for first time parents

www.summerwoodpediatrics.com

Two Locations:

4811 Buckley Rd., Liverpool, NY 13088 • 457-9966 5700 W. Genesee St. Ste 1, Camillus, NY 13031 • 488-2868 Family Times May 2013

calendar of events continued from page 39

Sunday, May 19 Great Strides Walk. 9 a.m. The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation’s Central New York Chapter presents a three-mile walk to raise money for CF research and therapeutics development. Inner Harbor, Kirkpatrick and Solar streets, Syracuse. Pledges encouraged but not required. 463-7965. www.cff. org/great_strides.

Young People’s Concert, May 18

FFL Kidsignment Sale. 9 a.m.-noon. See May

17 listing.

Charity for Children Run/Walk. 9:15 a.m. A kids fun run at 9:15, and 5k run/walk and 8k run on a certified course, both at 10 a.m., benefit Charity for Children. $20-$40/adult registration; $5/child registration. Green Lakes State Park, Fayetteville234-1443. Literature Live. Noon-5 p.m. See May 4 listing.

Monday, May 20 American Girl. 6 p.m. Children ages 8-12 can

explore the time periods of the American Girls through crafts, games and food. Onondaga Free Library, 4840 W. Seneca Turnpike, Syracuse. Free. Registration required: 492-1727. www.oflibrary.org.

Beyond Monopoly Game Club. 6-8 p.m. People of all ages can play board games includ-

ALKIRA

Marriage & Family Therapy

Hope Springs: Improving Your Relationship Instructor: Jill Weldum, LMFT, CCPT

Saturday, May 18, 2013 10:00am – 12:30pm 528 Oak St., Syracuse Is your relationship stuck? Do you want to improve it? Our seminar can help you increase communication, decrease conflict, and improve intimacy. Contact us at Alkira to pre-register by May 15: couples $125.00, individuals $75.00. Jill Weldum, a NYS Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, has specialized in helping couples improve their relationships and save their marriages for 20 years.

alkiratherapy.com • alkiratherapy@gmail.com 492-1390 40

Family Times May 2013

SALT Awards

Sunday, May 5th 2013 5:45 PM Cash Bar, 6-9 PM SHOW

$20 in advance or $25 at the door At the Palace Theater on James St. Call the NewTimes for tickets.

315-422-7011

May 2013 ing Scrabble and Chess, and also games such as Magic the Gathering or Yu Gi Oh (participants should bring their own cards). Liverpool Public Library, 310 Tulip St., Liverpool. Free. 457-0310. lpl.org.

Big Rig Day, May 18

Tuesday, May 21 Drop In for Legos. 3-8 p.m. Children ages

5-11 can build with Legos provided by the library. Parents welcome. Liverpool Public Library, 310 Tulip St., Liverpool. Free. 457-0310. lpl.org.

Inclusive Education Talk. 7 p.m. Tom Bull of Syracuse University’s School of Education talks about inclusion, advocating for your child and other related topics. Sponsored by the Down Syndrome Association of CNY. GiGi’s Playhouse, Driver’s Village, 5885 E. Circle Drive, Cicero. Free. 278-0056.

Wednesday, May 22 Teens, Books and Pizza. 6 p.m. Those in

grades 7-12 can share their ideas about a book while enjoying some pizza. Liverpool Public Library, 310 Tulip St., Liverpool. Free. Registration required: 457-0310. lpl.org.

Bedtime Stories. 6:45-7:15 p.m. Kids can

come to the library in PJs and hear stories that continued on page 42

SUMMER EXHIBITION