YOU ARE NOT ALONE

WHO GETS TO SEE AND SHARE OUR BEHIND-THE-SCENES MESS? OUR TRIBE, SAYS JANE AND JESS

If you feel like the world has gone back to pre-Covid pace, but your muscles have atrophied and you’re just not that fi t anymore, you can breathe a sigh of relief.

You are not alone.

We may have maintained this sprint before lockdown, but now it feels too fast and too full.

Last week, Jess threw out a desperate plea to the girls’

WhatsApp group.

Friends this is a SOS.

I’m dying of grumpiness.

All I do is buy food, make food, watch school sports and tidy up.

I need to do something fun

ASAP with no kids around or

I will die.

Please tell me someone is up for something fun or spontaneous on Friday or

Saturday.

I will perish if I do not laugh with adults this weekend.

But alas, no one was free.

Because, life.

First, we couldn’t see our friends because of lockdowns.

Now, we can’t see our friends because we’re so busy again.

Of course, we can see each other’s lives on Instagram. We can post our fi ltered moments with a grateful hashtag.

But social media is the highlight reel.

Who gets to see our behindthe-scenes?

The ones where you can’t get the kids to put down the iPads.

The ones where you’re just too tired to fi ght over screen time and you give in (even though you promised yourself you’d have a swim with them after school).

The ones where you hate the way they behave after devices are put away, but you’re the one who allowed them indulge and now you’re shouting.

We hate what technology does to our kids and we want to get it under control.

That’s our highlight reel.

It’s the noble thing to say, and the right thing to do.

Limit the screens and get them out of their virtual worlds.

But honestly, as Jane admits on our podcast, the more truthful behind-the-scenes is that we also love our kids’ screens. Jess loves that Netflix buys her a Saturday morning sleep-in, and she loves the respite that Minecraft gives her to lie on her bed and watch Ozark. Imagine the fairy lights twinkling on the veranda, two glasses of white wine, and Jane playing her favourite card game by candlelight with the delightful, witty Mikey. Who wouldn’t succumb to the babysitting powers of Pokémon GO for that?

Andy Stanley says that some things are not problems to be solved, but tensions to be managed. Managing our families’ relationship to screens

But social media is the requires us to have energy, perspective and wisdom. So where do we get that from? From our tribe. From our partners. From friends who are compassionate, who get how hard it is, who see our dilemmas and cheer us on. If you need a community like that, you’ve found one. Every month, you’ll fi nd us in The Beautiful Mess. The award-winning radio presenter Jane Linley-Thomas and local author, Jess Basson, are creating the space you need for these behind-the-scenes conversations that women long to have. We’ll show up here for you to read, and the conversation continues on our podcast on www.famousdurban.co.za. Life is beautiful. Life is messy. You’re not alone. Sending beautiful love from our mess to yours,

Listen to Jane and Jess here, as they further unpack their thoughts!