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FROM THE EDITOR — Beth Forkner Moe is the editor of Girlfriends magazine. By the time you read this, the election will be over. I don’t think anyone will mind the end of this crazy cycle; instead, we will be looking forward to more “normalcy.” This is a busy time of year for families, friends, merchants, TV stations (I love watching the traditional animated stories of the Grinch, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph, and so much more). It’s a time of year where we try to make every day as full of meaning and memories as possible. This is also a time of year when traditions are made and kept. Some are deeply meaningful, some are fun and allow us to reminisce about years past, some are a little silly but bring us closer together. For example, we have a pretty small family, so we’re generally able to get together for at least one holiday meal. My cousin and I have a tradition of trying to out-do each other with holiday-colored jello salads. It’s goofy, but we enjoy it. It makes us laugh. One tradition my husband and I started when our son was born was buying two Christmas tree ornaments each year – one that signified something important to him and one that signified something important in our family’s year. The year we got our first dog, it was an ornament that looked like a dog bone, with her name written on it. When our son got his driver’s license, the ornament was a car key. When he participated in the state Geography Bee, it was a globe. On different vacations, we have bought ornaments of various lighthouses we have seen. Each year, when we put up our tree, we look at these ornaments and have fond memories of the events that inspired them. When he has a home and family of his own, we will give our son his ornaments so he can decorate his own tree and (hopefully) continue the tradition. In this issue, we will share with you some traditions that might be similar to what you do, but might also give you ideas of new things to try. Some are activities, some are ways to bring new people into your lives, some are community-driven. We will also share with you some new ways to think about the holidays and the meaning they have to you and to others. We have stories about some fantastic women – in the military, as role models and more. We have a yummy recipe for you to try. And we have ideas on going through the next few months, even when it might seem a bit difficult. Enjoy the next few months, as the colors outside continue to change, from gorgeous crimson, rust and gold, to white. If you like to be outdoors during this time of year, have a wonderful time! If you would rather snuggle up with a blanket and read a good book, go for it! At the end of the day, it’s all about celebrating family, friendships and memories.

Happy holidays! Find Girlfriends on Facebook Watch for our new look coming in January! NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016 |

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contents

about us Editor:

Beth Forkner Moe

THE NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016

Contributing Writers:

Kari Berit Jenni Frizzell-Fuller Nancy Iglesias Trent Jonas Rachel Minske Sarah Osterbauer Autumn Van Ravenhorst Isabelle Wattenberg Karen West Workman

features Embrace the Season | 5 A calendar of local holiday highlights.

Holiday Traditions | 6 Keeping families connected through generations.

Multimedia Consultants:

Kristie Biehn Ginny Bergerson Nicole Brandon Kathleen Davies Missy Daschner Pam DeMorett Joan Koester Per Kvalsten Mark Nelson Lori Nickel Ryan Oldham Jay Petsche Kyle Shaw Jennifer Sorenson Gayle Stelten Autumn Van Ravenhorst Elizabeth Williams

Christmas Sharing in northfield | 8 A gift for all involved.

Thriving during the holidays | 10 Dealing with change or stress during these times.

Expanding the table | 12 Expanding hearts by expanding the table.

PROfile: greta fennell | 14 Army strong - A conversation with Captain Greta Fennell.

Oh no. now what? | 22 The young adults are home for the holidays.

Graphic Designer:

Kate Townsend-Noet

Strong role models = strong girls | 24

Ad Designers:

Mary Jo Blanchard Nicole Gilmore Keeley Krebsbach Jenine Kubista Kelly Kubista Kate McGillen Kayla McMullen Jennifer Schoenbauer

Empowering young girls and giving them the confidence to make their own choices comes form having strong women to look up to.

accessories

Volume 8, Issue 8

Copyright ÂŠ Girlfriends 2016 Published November 2016 by: Southern Minn Media 514 Central Avenue Faribault, MN 55021 Send releases and story ideas to:

Beth Forkner Moe at Girlfriends magazine, bfmoe@southernminn.com

ON THE FRONT COVER:

Enjoy the magic of the holiday season and enjoy downtown Faribault! www.faribaultmainstreet.org Like Us on Facebook!

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Northfield Area Chamber of Commerce

Compiled by Karen West Workman (Source: www.exploreminnesota.com and others)

ere are my top picks for interesting and unusual ways to immerse yourself in the glorious days of this holiday season. It is an eclectic list, running the gamut from art and music festivals, to light shows, to wonderland ziplining. There is truly something for everyone to do, no matter their interest or their mood. The best part is that this list is only a fraction of the possibilities. For an extensive list of things to do in Minnesota, now and throughout the year, go to www.exploreminnesota.com. November 19-December 26:

Bentleyville Tour of Lights, Duluth (218) 740-3535 bentleyvilleusa.org America’s largest free walk-through light show! Free admission; visits with Santa Claus; cookies, hot chocolate, marshmallows, and popcorn provided. November 25-December 31:

Kiwanis Holiday Lights, Mankato (507) 385-9129 kiwanisholidaylights.com A celebration of holiday lights for

the Mankato area that builds on past traditions and promotes the community, while raising food donations for those in need.

life as the servants of the James J. Hill House mansion prepare for the holidays, complete with costumed actors.

November 25-December 30:

December 3-17:

Christmas Wonderland Zip Line, Jordan (952) 492-5333 Christmas zip lining fun for everyone! Sand Creek Adventures’ Christmas Zip Line Wonderland features a thrilling trip down zip lines, a Christmas light display, and a holiday hay ride.

Holiday Lights Tour, Bloomington (612) 929-8687 awardwinningcitytours.com/tours/ holiday-lights-tour Deluxe motor coach tour of Twin Cities holiday lights. Boards at Mall of America.

November 25-December 31:

Arli-Dazzle, Arlington (507) 964-2378 or (507) 964-2378 Probably THE LARGEST Lighted Christmas Parade in Minnesota.

Rotary Lights, LaCrosse, WI rotarylights.org More than 3 million lights in the display. Rotary Lights Parade, live music entertainment, hay ride, carriage rides, live reindeer, breakfast with Santa, and more. Free, with voluntary food and cash donations accepted for local food shelves. November 25:

Parade of Lights, New Ulm (888) 463-9856 or (507) 233-4300 More than 65 units, all with Christmas lights, goes through the charming downtown. December 3-24:

Hill House Holidays, St. Paul (651) 297-2555 The bustle and excitement of a Gilded Age Christmas is brought to

December 3:

December 4:

Christmas House Tour, Winona (507) 454-2723 winonahistory.org Six homes will be decorated for the holiday season. Participants can take a self-guided tour of the homes.

northfieldchamber.com/events Experience downtown Northfield by candlelight. Stroll through unique shops; dine at fine restaurants; enjoy caroling, horsedrawn wagon rides, storytelling, luminarias, decorated store fronts and much more. December 10:

Holiday Celebration of the Arts, Red Wing (651) 388-2009 andersoncenter.org/eventsHolidayCele. html Features the work of more than 55 local, regional, and national painters, sculptors, potters, jewelers, fabric artists, photographers, weavers, printmakers, glassblowers, quilters, writers and musicians. December 16-18:

Sandstone Ice Festival, Sandstone (651) 302-1774 sandstoneicefest.com Minnesota’s original Ice Festival.

December 4:

December 21:

Christmas Inn Tour, Lanesboro (507) 467-2696 Showcasing some of Lanesboro’s Bed & Breakfasts and Inns, charmingly decorated for the holiday season.

The Longest Night, New York Mills (218) 385-3339 Music festival on the Winter Solstice. Annual celebration of local music. Free to attend. Beer and wine for sale.

December 8:

Winter Walk, Northfield (507) 645-5604

Karen West Workman is a freelance writer with a sense of adventure. She enjoys flying, sparkly things and good chocolate. NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016 |

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By Lisa Cownie his will be the 27th year in a row that Beth Gronholz and her family will load up and head to a southern Minnesota Christmas tree farm on the day after Thanksgiving. No matter what circumstances each year brings - her children becoming adults and moving away, career changes, even Mother Nature the day after Thanksgiving is the one day they all come together to pick out the perfect Christmas tree. This family tradition started just after her first child, Zach, was born. “We bundled him up, put him in a sled and pulled him out into the snow to saw down a Christmas tree,” she said. “And he was only 8 months old!” These days the group has expanded a bit as her children, Zach (now 26) and Mackenzie (24), now bring along their significant others. Beth and her husband of 30 years, Jack, make this day a priority. In the busy-ness of life and the holiday season, Jack says this is the one thing they can count on as a constant. “We go arm in arm up and down the rows of trees,” Jack said. “Funny how we all spot ‘our’ tree at the same time!” The tradition continues back at the house with the decorating. This year, though, everything will be a little different. It will be the first time they’ll be decorating it in a new home. Beth and Jack recently moving from the home they raised their children in. The Gronholz family believes this old tradition will be a great way to break in their new home in Le Sueur County. Traditions seem to be something families hold on to for dear life, especially this time of year. The holidays are a time of celebration but can also be a time of chaos. Decorating, shopping, parties, are all added to our already busy everyday lives.

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A blog post on PsychCentral.com says traditions are what ground us during these times. The long-established rituals become something to count on. It doesn’t really matter what kind of tradition families adhere to; it can be a family meal, a special trip or maybe even a favorite song or game. Traditions are a way for generations of families to connect. For Angie Schimek of North Mankato, a tradition grew out of her family’s love for their grandma’s lefse. “A few years ago several of us expressed interest in learning how grandma made the delicious lefse we enjoyed over the holidays. An aunt decided to host us for a lefse-making party in her large kitchen. I bought a lefse griddle and tools from Swedish Kontur in St. Peter, and a tradition was born,” she said. “Our gathering gets bigger every year, and we have two griddles and thre roll-out stations going at all times. There is a lot of lefse making, wine drinking, bonding and laughs!” Angie, with her teenage daughter Kylie in tow, joins her sister, her mom, her cousins and aunts to carry out this tradition that not only leaves them with bags of lefse to take home, but leaves them feeling connected and closer as well. “As I get older, family traditions and heritage have become more and more important to me,” Angie explained. “And I now have something I can do to always feel close to my grandma that I can pass down to my kids, grandkids and maybe even great-grandchildren some day!” Holiday traditions can also reflect a family’s unique identity. That’s because they are often based on family history, heritage and religion. That’s certainly true for Justine Carlson who has family spread throughout the region. “Around the holidays all the girls in the family do cookie baking each year. Multiple generations are involved,” she said. “But my favorite tradition is that we always read the story of Jesus’ birth from the Bible before we open gifts on Christmas Day.” This is just one example of how traditions don’t have to be extravagant, intense or require a lot of planning. They just have to show a commitment to doing something consistently and

regularly. According to family traditions expert and author Meg Cox, creating new family traditions is a way to generate memories and experiences that families can share. If you don’t yet have a tradition, Cox said, it’s never too late. She suggests that families start with what they identify with most. “If you’re a musical family, put on a holiday concert. If you’re an outdoorsy family, plan an annual rafting trip,” she said. Southern Minnesota communities are making it a little easier for families to start traditions by establishing traditions of their own. In Northfield, for example, the city will host Winter Walk on December 8. Visitors will find downtown Northfield magically transformed with the sound of horses’ hooves clopping down the street mixed with the sounds of carolers. Steam will roll off cups of hot cocoa and blend with the flames of flickering candles along the street. Winter Walk offers horse-drawn

carriage rides, a model train display, beautifully decorated storefronts, a performance of the Nutcracker, and an appearance by Santa. This event offers plenty of opportunity for traditions to be made. In Mankato, the Downtown Kiwanis club will holds its’ 5th-annual Holiday Lights display. The display builds on past traditions and promotes communities by collecting nonperishable food donations for those in need during the holidays. It has become a tradition for many from all around the region. Last year more 180,000 visitors attended the lights. This year’s event will run November 25-December 31. No matter how simple or how complex, holiday traditions are a great way to build memories and bring families closer together. If you haven’t already developed traditions, it’s never too late to start. Lisa Cownie writes from North Mankato. Her work can be found at lisacownie.com.

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By Nancy Iglesias rom puppies to princesses, baseballs to ballerinas, and sailboats to spaceships, the more than 30 bins of fluffy, fuzzy, flannel pajamas contain all the dreams and schemes of life a kid could imagine. But the more than 1000 pajamas, made each year as a labor of love, represent so much more. No one remembers exactly when it started, but organizers agree that the Pajama Project, a part of Northfield communityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas Sharing began at least 30 years ago. The program got its start under the Church Women United umbrella and is now administered by the Northfield Community Action Center. When the Christmas Sharing

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program began, community members and local businesses came together to donate Christmas gifts for children in need. The holiday donations included all kinds of wonderful toys, books, puzzles and a variety of other gifts sure to bring a smile to the faces of young children. That first year, a handful of pajamas were included. Jan Jones, a relative newcomer to the Northfield area at that time and volunteer for the Christmas project, decided to take on the challenge of providing not only toys for each child, but also a brand-new pair of warm pajamas. Jan set that first yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goal to make 50 pairs of pajamas for the children. She remembered, with great fondness, that some of the first pajamas that year were sewn in her basement by a small group of women with flannel sheets donated by Jacobsenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Department Store. Jan was very fortunate to have Peg Jennings serve as a very capable coleader with her for more than 10 years. The style of the pajamas and the fabric choices have changed over the years, but the one thing that has not changed is the love that goes into each pair of pajamas. Over the last 30 years, the 50 pajamas sewn by just a few loving hands has now grown to more than 1000. While the number of children served annually

is somewhere between 750 and 800, to ensure there are enough choices for both boys and girls in every size from infant to 3XL (think big high-school football players), extra pajamas are made each year. High school students receive hand-made pajama bottoms and a matching t-shirt. T-shirts are often donated by local businesses, schools and civic groups. The process of making all those pajamas begins in January and continues for about nine months. From January through March, and again in the fall, a group of women meet each Monday evening and Tuesday morning at the United Methodist Church. They lay out the fabric and the cutting begins. They cut out an average of about

65-75 pairs of pajamas per week. The women almost always work in pairs because two minds and two sets of eyes are better at figuring how best to lay out the pattern pieces to make the most of their fabric. The cut pieces are put into ziplock bags along with almost everything the seamstress will need to finish the pajamas. The only thing the sewer needs to provide is the thread and elastic. Sweet friendships have been forged around the cutting tables. And there is always plenty of coffee, tea and sweet treats that accompany the great conversations, love and laughter. From there, the pajama kits are distributed far and wide to hundreds of seamstresses. Each cut, each stitch, each finished pair of pajamas is sewn as a labor of love and hope and wrapped up with good wishes for the children who will soon don their PJ’s. Hardly a scrap of fabric is wasted. The scraps are used by some of the various churches and groups who are making family quilts. St John’s Lutheran Church Foundation has made a commitment to donate $5000 annually for 5 years to the pajama project for the purchase of fabric. The pajama project is currently in the middle of that grant. Several friendly competitions have arisen over the years. Emily Schmitz, the current pajama project coordinator, has offered to take anyone out to lunch who sews 100 pair of pajamas or more. Last year she treated four of her seamstresses to lunch. Many of the initial cutters and sewers have enlisted their friends and family members, even from other communities to join the project. The Dakota County Justice

system has used the pajama project as a way for one of their clients to receive community service hours. This particular client sewed 55 pairs of pajamas. All of the efforts of the entire Christmas Sharing Team culminate on Distribution Day — a day filled with an abundance of Christmas spirit. One of the team member’s describes Distribution Day as the best day of the year for her. Jim Blaha, Executive Director at the Community Action Center, would agree. It might be a toss-up whether the Christmas Sharing volunteers or the recipient families are more excited on Distribution Day. The Christmas spirit is certainly alive and well on Distribution Day with Christmas cookies and plenty of cheer to go around for everyone. Each family is allowed to pick a gift, stocking stuffers, a book, puzzle or toy, hat, mittens or gloves and the handmade pajamas for each of their children. They are also given a blanket or quilt, many of which are hand-made for their family. Once the gifts have been chosen, they are all individually wrapped with delightful holiday wrapping, ribbons and bows. The Northfield community has a deep commitment to supporting Christmas Sharing with everything needed for Distribution Day. Individuals, businesses, churches, civic groups, even after-school programs, all eagerly participate. This program has brought packages of joy to all kinds of families. From immigrant families who may be new to the community, to families struggling with some of the harsh economic realities of today’s world, each family is welcomed with open arms. The generous hearts of the Christmas elves (volunteers) who work Distribution Day make it a truly wonderful day for everyone. Many parents have said that without the Christmas Sharing program, there would not be presents under the tree. And some parents even report that the hand-made pajamas are the favorite gifts of their children. If one ever wondered where Santa’s workshop is really located, I think the secret might be out that it may very well be in Northfield, Minnesota—a community filled with more generous hands, hearts and souls too numerous to count. -Nancy Iglesias is a freelance writer and non-profit consultant. She spent 20 years working as an Executive Director for Habitat for Humanity in Winona, MN. Prior to that, she was the Marketing Manager for InterVarsity Press in Downers Grove, IL. Nancy enjoys entertaining, water fitness and teaching preschoolers at her church.

2016 Distribution Day is December 14 How to help: • Donate money. Checks can be made out to CACChristmas Sharing and sent to 1651 Jefferson Parkway, Suite #200, Northfield, MN, 55057 • Donate gifts. New, unwrapped toys and gifts can be dropped off at area businesses or the CAC until early December. • Donate quilts/fleece blankets. They can be new store-bought, or homemade. Each participating family receives a blanket or quilt. • Donate your time. Volunteers are needed to help December 12-14 with the sorting of gifts, assisting participants with their gift selections and wrapping gifts. • Bake cookies. Cookies are served to participants and volunteers during the event. • Sew sleepwear. Each child receives pajamas. Pre-cut kits are available. If you know anyone in Northfield who should be invited to attend the Christmas Sharing program, call 664-3550 for eligibility information. Families who wish to participate must pre-register

FIND YOUR FABULOUS AT VISION Just in time for the holidays!

425 Division Street South | Northfield, MN 507-366-2020 | visionofnorthfield.com

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Thriving during the holidays, during times of

change orstress By Elizabeth Lippman

amily dysfunction has long served as rich narrative fodder. From the Greek gods and goddesses to “Hamlet” to “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” and skits on “Saturday Night Live,” such imaginings can provide a sense of comic relief, understanding and even catharsis. But at this time of year, when expectations meet real-time interactions at the holiday dinner table and Adele isn’t there to save the day, it may help to have a plan. “I think that we tend to go into the holiday season with lots of high hopes, almost fairy-tale expectations that things will be a certain way. And they often are not,” said Jennifer Simpson-Dahl, M.A., a counselor and

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program director at Secure Base Counseling Center in Northfield, Minn. The inevitable changes, positive and negative, that each year brings can make such high-stakes gatherings all the more challenging. Grief, relocation, divorce, financial difficulty, marriage, and even super-charged political happenings can all hinder our ability to navigate the season in myriad unexpected ways. “There is no magic wand to fix it and make it all fine. It’s just a more stressful time,” Simpson-Dahl added. The key to managing such situations, she said, is mindfulness—or being as present in the moment, from a position of acceptance, as you can be. And that takes practice. “When you do it more and more, you get better at it, and then you tend to make

responses that you’re happy with in the long run instead of being reactive,” she said. “You may decide to set a firmer boundary or take action to change something, but when you practice acceptance first, you take action from a calmer place.” But practice limited to the holidays doesn’t necessarily provide individuals with the facility for mindfulness that they might need. “Practice it daily with the little things that come up,” Simpson-Dahl said. “For instance, if you wake up with a back ache, practice saying, ‘Wow, this is how I feel right now. I notice where it is. I notice the sensations. Now I may choose to do something about it. Now I remember that if I practice this exercise or this stretch that my doctor recommended, I feel better.’ Then you’re in a place to make a decision.”

Diane Petz, M.S., a licensed psychologist with Winona Health Psychiatric and Counseling Services, is dealing with some of these life changes first-hand. And she is determined to employ her own advice to take things one year at a time. “My mother died at the end of April,” she shared. “Our family is very small, and our tradition was to have a big rib roast every Christmas. My mother kept track of the cost and would announce it every year. This year in thinking about how to spend Christmas, I do not want to repeat the same tradition. I am looking at different ways of celebrating. We can honor my mother, but I think it’s okay to create something new with the change.” Petz also has an adult son who travels. “His partner is from Amsterdam. They travel back to Amsterdam every other Christmas to visit with my son-in-law’s family,” she said. “We’re still family, and we still love each other. But we may not be together.” She notes that counseling centers can see an upsurge in the number of clients seeking help during the holiday season—and that existing clients may request more frequent visits and greater support. “The holidays can trigger emotions with

people as they think about negotiating family dynamics,” she said. “A history of trauma or abuse can be triggered this time of year. Or they may not have the same type of reality that is portrayed in the media. That’s part of what creates some of the stress. People feel like they’re feeling differently than what other people around them are feeling.” She encourages individuals to seek out trusted people they can talk to, whether in person or through online support groups or crisis lines. And, echoing Simpson-Dahl’s emphasis on mindfulness and acceptance, Petz said to remember that even if you don’t have the energy or the resources to make the holiday what you would like it to be, it can help to try to get through knowing that it will pass and that you might be in a different place in subsequent years. This strategy also applies to situations of grief, even grief we thought we had grown beyond. Feelings and memories can arise seemingly out of the blue, and it becomes important to utilize mindfulness skills, not fighting the feelings but understanding that they will subside. Petz emphasizes the significance of thinking carefully about what gives you and your family a sense of meaning when celebrating

the holidays—and of regularly revisiting those thoughts. “As we grow and change, develop and age, and our family structures change, what brings meaning to us and how we want to spend that holiday will also change,” she said. And to understand ourselves effectively, we need to be aware of what resources we bring to the table each year—whether emotional, financial, time or otherwise. While she affirms that having choices and multiple plans in place is empowering, she also acknowledges that those choices are becoming increasingly complex. “Especially as our culture becomes more diverse, there become more ways that we can celebrate,” she said. “That can be frustrating, as the values of individuals and families intersect uniquely with such diversity. But in the end, the holiday season offers a hopeful means to imagine a culture of greater mutual respect and understanding of varying approaches to experiencing the world.” Elizabeth Lippman is a freelance writer and editor based in Winona, Minn. She holds a master’s degree in literary nonfiction. A mother of four, she loves the Appalachian Mountains, her garden and honeybees, and much good music.

MARRY ME MERRY CHRISTMAS

115 North Cedar | Owatonna, MN 507.451.6644 www.kottkejewelers.com

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By Lisa Cownie innesota State University in Mankato has around 1,100 international students from 90 different countries. No matter what their belief, a majority of those can’t make it home for holiday celebrations. A few years ago, Brook Devenport decided to start “fostering” some of these students, by expanding her family holiday table each year to host Minnesota State University students from other countries. The Devenports have hosted three different girls; one from India, one from South Korea and one from Uganda. “It has been a wonderful way to way to meet students of other cultures and learn about their customs and traditions. We have also shared

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Thanksgiving, Easter and the 4th of July with the girls,” she said. Brook said it helps her family, her three children in particular, understand that what they see as simple things in life can make a big difference to others. “We had such fun!” Brook said. “Two of the girls had never baked desserts because their families didn’t have ovens. So we spent one afternoon baking and making all kinds of goodies.” Now that two of her children are in college themselves, she sees even more the need to offer somewhere for students who are far from home, a home for the holidays. “It has been a wonderful experience for my family,” Brook said. “We encourage other families to reach out and invite others in! One resource is the International Student and Scholar Services at MSU. The Friendship Family Program is a great way to start. You’ll make some wonderful memories.” There is also a need to for those living in our local communities. Kathy Brozik knows she is blessed in many ways, one being that she gets to spend the holidays each year with family. What Kathy also knows is that not everyone is able to do that. “We often travel out of town on Christmas Eve and Day to be with family, but one year we hosted my husband’s family at our home,” she said. “And that year we made room for an extra guest.” Kathy attends Christ the King Lutheran Church in Mankato. A couple of days before Christmas she heard about an elderly woman from the church who would be alone for the holiday. “Because she had a couple of adult children in the Mankato area I was surprised to learn this. I felt sad for her as she told me she would not be seeing her children that Christmas, and at the same time I felt grateful for the family in which I was blessed to be a part of to celebrate the holiday,” Kathy said. “I visited with my husband and we extended an invitation for her to ride home with us after our Christmas Eve worship service and have dinner with us.” Expanding their family table in this way was the best gift Kathy could give herself, she said. “It warmed my heart during our gift exchange to see the look on her face when we presented her a gift of an umbrella for her to use on her walks to and from church,” Kathy said. “It was a simple gift, but a powerful one of extending our family love to her. That memory still fills my heart years later.” Making memories is a big part of what the holidays are about, and memories are what’s behind a growing trend known as Friendsgiving. This is a celebration much like Thanksgiving, but with friends instead of family. For many, the Friendsgiving celebration is held on the Wednesday night before, or the Friday after Thanksgiving Day. For others, it may be held ahead of time before those who are able to do so head off to their own families. Friendsgiving is a growing trend among Millennials and recent grads who live too far away from their homes to go back for the Thursday feast, or friend groups who want to celebrate the holidays with the people they are closest to that are not in the family. And Friendsgiving celebrations are meant to be less stressful than their traditional counterparts. Those who take part in the day say the common theme that runs through this new holiday is the giving of thanks and taking the time to appreciate the friends in your life. It is a “pot-luck” version of Thanksgiving, with less of the tradition and ceremony, but with more focus on the value of friendship. Lisa Cownie writes from North Mankato. Her work can be found at lisacownie.com.

Cancer Care Close to Home If you’ve been diagnosed with cancer, this can be a confusing and scary time for both you and your loved ones. We’re here to help you through every step of your cancer journey. We provide advanced can cer care services in a comfortable, soothing setting.

Cancer Care includes: • Advanced diagnostic imaging including breast MRI and PET • Cancer Care Navigator • On-site cancer clinic • Medical oncologists from Mayo Clinic and Minnesota Oncology • Complete surgical services • Breast Care Center • Mayo Clinic Radiation Therapy • Cancer support groups • Private rooms with natural light and views of the prairie • Reclining chairs with built-in warmers “Our lives have been made easier because of the cancer care in Northfield.” ~ Lloyd and Marilyn Berglund, Cannon Falls

Cancer Care & Infusion 507-646-6979 www.northfieldhospital.org/cancercare NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016 |

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Profile

By Grace Webb

hile most high school seniors worry about which college to attend and what to study, Le Sueur native Greta Fennell had something a lot different on her mind. At the age of 17, she enlisted in the Army Reserves, deploying to Iraq three years later. While she originally planned to serve out her six-year commitment, take care of her college education and move on, she’s still serving her country 17 years later as a public affairs officer—while balancing her civilian career in the world of public relations. Read on to learn more about her story. Q. What made you decide to join the military at such a young age? A. I was a senior in high school and wasn’t sure what direction my life should take after graduating. I looked at the military as a way to pay for an education and serve my country at the same time. The Army recruiter was open in Mankato and I walked in and inquired. The next thing I know, I’m sitting in my parents’ dining room with the recruiter talking about signing up. To this day, I still think that they probably didn’t take me seriously when I said that I was going to join the Army until the recruiter was sitting right in our dining room. Q. You started as a broadcast journalist. How did you get into that field? A. I went through all the testing, like taking the ASVAB, and at first I was really looking into what kind of job would give me the most money for my education. Some jobs offer sign-on bonuses or incentives to fill crucial needs. At that time, postal jobs were most needed. But when I went through all the testing, the recruiter asked, “Do you want to do some writing and take some pictures for the Army?” And I thought, “That sounds exciting!” And that’s how I got into broadcast journalism. I didn’t even know the Army had writers, photographers and videographers.

Army strong A conversation with Captain

Fennell 14

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Q. You went to basic training right after your high school graduation. Was it as bad as we always hear? A. Like everything in life, you get out of it what you put into it. As long as you listen to the drill sergeants, they will give you a hard time but they’re not going to bother you too much. They just want to keep you in line and keep everybody safe. But it was intense. There’s more team building in basic training than what people think. You’re introduced to a lot of new things, like grenades and rappelling. It’s very physical. You’re always running everywhere—or you’re standing and waiting. You learn a lot about “hurry up and wait.” Q. Your unit at basic training and then afterwards was a mixture of men and women. What is it like working in such a male-dominated field? A. On the deployment, I didn’t really notice much of a difference working with men, because you have a very structured environment and you have certain things you need to get done. It wasn’t until I started working with a new male supervisor that I noticed. When we were about to go over the border from Kuwait to Iraq, he didn’t let me go. That was the first time that I realized, “This has to do with gender. It’s because I’m female.” Being

put everything on and run downstairs. We were never hit; the closest that we got was a missile that landed about a mile from our place. But that threat was always present.

male, he felt protective of me. Deep down, that may have been one of the reasons that I wanted to get my commission—I wanted to be more in charge and have more say over what I was doing. Tell me about your deployment. A. I was deployed in December 2002. I had started attending college classes, and I found out about my deployment during my finals week. I remember calling my instructor and saying, “I really can’t take my final today. I just found out that I’m getting deployed.” I was one semester away from getting my degree in architecture. Before then, deployment hadn’t crossed my mind. I had five days to pack, get my life in order, and report to a unit in Chicago with people I didn’t know. My orders said 365 days, not to exceed two years, location unknown. My unit waited until around February

2003 before we finally got on a plane. We were waiting for our command to tell us where we were going. When we were waiting to leave, we were placing bets on which country we were going to land in since no one gave us a straight answer. Even when we were on the plane, they still said that they couldn’t tell us. It turned out to be Kuwait. We were there until April 2003 and then most of our unit moved up into Iraq one week after the border opened. And we were there until August 2003. Q. What was it like, living in Kuwait and Iraq? A. It was hot. We were some of the first in, so there wasn’t a lot of infrastructure set up yet. We were always in and out of biochemical protection gear: pants, jacket, gas mask, boots. When we had an alarm for a scud missile coming in, we had to hurry up and

Q. Was it hard readjusting to American life after being away so long? A. I had a hard time. When I was over there, it was always very intense, very fastpaced. Every single day I wrote a situational report that I knew was going to the Pentagon. I was providing public affairs advice to some of the officials who were basically developing Iraq. And I was 20 years old. So being in a position like that and then coming home, where I didn’t have a job or anything to dive into, made me feel like I didn’t have much of a purpose anymore. It was really devastating at times. I had to reinvent myself, and learn about the “new me,” the person I came back to with the life-changing experiences that I had. Q. What’s it like, juggling two careers? A. It can be tiring. I drill one weekend a month and then two weeks in the summer, and the commitment continues to increase. It takes a lot of planning, and it definitely takes support from my husband, other family members, and colleagues, as well as patience and understanding. It hurts my heart when I’m up drilling in Minneapolis and I know that my kids are at home without me, because I feel like I don’t get enough time with them. But I think, “This is temporary.” I’m trying to do everything I can right now to make things better for my family. Even though I’m not with them, I’m still making decisions that will impact them and make things better for them. CONTINUES ON PAGE 30

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Finds!

Check out these great finds! Holiday décor and more!

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Tis the season Table Runners $32; Glitter tree $26; Asst. ornaments $7 & $8; Glitter Spray $18; Snowflake Pin $10.50; Gold Rope necklace $11 Magnetic Bling Bracelet $19.50; Mercury Glass light bulb vase $11

Heat up your winter with the Odessa Lake Wrap and Crystal Lake Cowl scarf from SmartWool. Add in the warmth of knit mittens combined with the freedom of a flip mitt in easy to wear hand warmers. Warm style up top added to the classic SmartWool socks you already love will make the winter to come something to look forward to.

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TRENT JONAS

Trent Jonas is a Twin Cities-based writer and divorced father of two. He is fascinated and frightened by women but is working through his issues.

Embrace our diversity This is the holiday issue, so, I’ve been trying to come up with an appropriate subject for this piece. But I’m having difficulty, because I can’t seem to think past Tuesday, November 8 – Election Day. By the time this column sees the light of day, we will have already elected our next president. Trying to envision what the post-election holiday season will be like is tough for me. As an American and a father, having holiday cheer in a land where presidential candidates co-opt the language of hate and spew it back as political rhetoric is hard to imagine. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I’ll still have plenty to be thankful for, but the possibility that so many others will not, due to election results, makes it tough to write a snappyhappy holiday column. So, I’m going to look at where I am now. I am writing this column during the Jewish High Holy Days. Rosh Hashanah has just passed and Yom Kippur is coming right up. These holidays, in combination, represent renewal (the beginning of a new year on the Hebrew calendar) and reflection (a day of fasting and atonement for the last year’s sins or bad acts). A discussion of the High Holy Days is still relevant to what is more secularly known as the “Holiday Season” because the latter also contains elements of renewal and reflection.

On Yom Kippur, observant Jews offer atonement, ask to be forgiven for all wrongs committed during the year, and to have their names inscribed into the Book of Life for one more year. At Thanksgiving, Americans — regardless of religion — give thanks for what we are fortunate to have, offering gratitude for all the people and things that make our lives better. These are two sides of the same concept: reflection on gratitude and good fortune. Both holiday “seasons” also offer the chance for renewal, with all the benefits and burdens a brand new calendar can bring. If we are fortunate enough to get another year, we can all make steps to strive to be better people. Regardless of who is inaugurated in 2017, we can choose to ignore the jingoistic language of divisiveness and embrace the concepts of inclusivity that the United States is founded upon. We are a beautiful nation of diversity and cultural richness that results from a combination of ethnicities, colors, religions, and orientations of all types. Along with our individual blessings, these are the things Americans should celebrate during our many holidays… and every other day, for that matter. Happy holidays and l’shana tovah to everyone. Peace.

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Shoes, Clothing & Accessories for Men & Women 401 Division Street • Northfield, MN • 645-4257 • www.rarepair.com

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314 Division St., Northfield, MN 55057 • 507-645-1330 www.northfieldyarn.com Hours: Mon-Wed 10-5, Thu 10-8, Fri & Sat 10-5, Sun 12-4

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New Ulm & St. Peter It may not fit under the tree...

The Woods grill & bar Open to the public

HOURS: November 6th - January 2nd Tues- Fri: 11am-1:30pm & 4-8pm • Sat: 4-8pm Sun: 9am- 1:30pm for breakfast only Closed Sun Evening • Mon: Closed All Day HOURS: Beginning January 3rd Tues - Sat: 4-8pm Sun: Breakfast 9am-12:30pm

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After Thanksgiving Sales and Vendor Show

Saturday, November 26th, 2016

Come to Indian Island Winery and get all your Christmas Shopping done in one place! Vendors will be selling a variety of items from noon-4pm, and they all make great gifts! Bring the kids for a great family outing and visit with Santa from 1-4pm! Don’t forget your camera!

Ugly Sweater Party

Friday, December 16, 2016

Join Indian Island on Friday, December 16th for another Ugly Sweater Party! Great offers to those that wear an ugly sweater! Also enjoy Mary Guentzel Quintet’s annual Christmas Show!

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NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016 |

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the young adults are home

Compiled by Beth Forkner Moe t was much easier before the children left for college or for the workplace. They were at home for all the holidays, the weekends, everything. Rules were set (sometimes tested) and generally didn’t change. And then the children grew up and moved away (most of them, anyway). The house was quieter and cleaner, and there wasn’t any missing food in the refrigerator. We couldn’t wait to see the children……ooops, now they’re young adults……on their first holiday visits home. The door bursts open, the young adult comes in, and you hug each other tightly. “Hi, Mom. Glad to be home,” he or she says. “I’m just going to drop my things and go hang out with my friends. ‘Bye!” OK, now what? We had thought things would be the same as it used to be. It’s not, though; it can’t be. Our young adult has had his/ her first taste of independence and liked it. We knew it intellectually (we went through it ourselves, after all), but still weren’t quite prepared emotionally. I reached out to some fellow parents and asked them what advice they would give others during these transitional years. Following is some of what they said: • Treat them like the adults they are learning to be, but at the same time remind them that you are still a family. - “This is not a hotel. We are a family, even though we are changing roles.” - “Spend time with us. We love you.” - Talk about the need for mutual respect for each other and any other family members. • Let them know they are expected to clean up after themselves, but not necessarily to do their old chores. If you are hosting a holiday dinner or party, everyone in the family

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has to help. • Tell them they have the full run of the house, but the house isn’t theirs (that means, for example, if there are going to be 20 young adults hanging out in your basement one night, you have to be asked if it’s ok in advance). • Give them space. Let them sleep. Don’t ask about everything they are doing. • Ask them to let you know if they are coming home that night. That gives you the chance to not have to lie awake all night, listening to hear if they are home and safe. • Don’t set curfews or pry into who they are hanging out with or doing (unless it’s disturbing or destructive). • Cook their favorite foods. • Young people coming home have mixed needs. On the one hand, they want to be kids again; on the other hand they want all the rights of being an adult. • Have activities that will keep the whole family engaged. In our household, we always try to have a family game night during each visit. A friend’s family recently had a reality TV-type of cooking game: each 20-something got a basket with a couple ingredients, no recipes, and an hour to make interesting and delicious dishes. • Let them know they are always welcome to come home, whenever they need or want. • Remember that this transition is hard for both parents and their young adult children. • Hug them tight again when they leave, and always let them know you love them. (Editor’s Note: I wasn’t really surprised when I received the same answers from multiple parents; I think we all want a smooth transition, and we are all delighted when the children we raised are becoming capable and delightful adults. I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered some websites that cover some of these same topics. My favorite is www. grownchildren.net.)

From The Kitchen

moqehouse opened its doors in the Faribo West Mall in February 2016. Owned by husband and wife team Andy and Heidi Kubes, Smoqehouse is a small, fast, casual eatery featuring hand-crafted sandwiches, fresh soups and salads, and their wellknown hand-cut fries.

to his creations. Beyond the traditional pulled pork sandwich, you will find items such as sliced beef brisket topped with horseradish cream and arugula, smoked Cajun chicken topped with caramelized peppers and onions and Cajun aioli, and even authentic carnitas tacos served with house-made corn tortillas and fresh pico. The specials are rarely duplicated and almost always sell out. Smoqehouse takes pride in being a restaurant that makes everything from scratch. Nothing is ever frozen, and they use as many local ingredients as possible. Since opening the first location, they have added a food truck and plan to open a second location in Northfieldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s historic Archer House by the end of the year.

Fall Cranberry Salad Fresh Mixed Greens (Smoqehouse uses Living Greens from Faribault)

The common theme in most of their dishes is smoke. Andy, a BBQ enthusiast and home cook, loves to think outside the box when it comes

Craisins Granny Smith Apples, cut into matchstick-sized slices Ama Blu Cheese crumbles Pecans

Cranberry Cinnamon Vinaigrette 1 can prepared cranberry sauce (NOT jellied) 1/2 bag fresh cranberries 3/4 cup Northfield Olive Oil & Vinegar Honey Ginger white balsamic oil 1 tsp. cinnamon 1/8 tsp. nutmeg 2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar Pinch of salt Local maple syrup, to taste Add all ingredients (except maple syrup) to a blender or food processor and mix on high. Add a little maple syrup at a time until sweetened to your liking. Drizzle over salad and serve immediately.

Smoquehouse

299 Western Avenue (inside Faribo West Mall)

Like us on Facebook Opening 2nd location soon in Northfield!

NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016 |

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Empowering young girls and giving them the confidence to make their own choices comes from having strong women to look up to. “Positive female role models are crucial to building a young woman’s confidence.” - Kim Lewis, Kappa Delta Sorority National Headquarters

By Sara Schlueter nspiring and cultivating confidence in young girls and women is an issue I have been passionate about for years. It lead me to become president of my sorority in college, serve as a mentor to the young women in my chapter and become a running coach for girls. I have always been fortunate to be surrounded by strong women who each taught me something important and inspired me to want to give back to other young girls. My mother, grandmother, aunts, cousins, sisters, colleagues and best friends served as role models while I grew up, and continue to look up to today. While boys and men also need strong role models and can suffer with their own low confidence and self-esteem, in my eyes, women and girls are the group who seem to be inundated with negative messages every single day, and need those extra positive leaders to look up to.

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(Who remembers the Victoria Secret campaign ad from last year which spelled out for us in black type across images of models that the “Perfect Body” was flawless skin, with no hint of any excess fat, long legs and certainly no cellulite?) In college I came across an alarming statistic that actually brought tears to my eyes. According to the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, only four percent of women around the world actually think they are beautiful. When we look at the advertisements and messages we see today, it isn’t surprising to see why. This makes it all the more important to cultivate confidence and self-esteem for young girls. An international movement with the vision that girls can do anything is the Confidence Coalition. Created in 2009 by Kappa Delta Sorority, it brings together organizations and individuals dedicated to awareness campaigns and action projects which bring to light the issues that can affect women’s confidence but also provides resources to empower

“I think one thing that women don’t realize is that every moment in our lives, we can serve as a role model to someone else.” - Kim Lewis, Kappa Delta Sorority National Headquarters

women. “Positive female role models are crucial to building a young woman’s confidence,” says Kim Lewis, with Kappa Delta Sorority National Headquarters. “While women have come a long way in terms of being respected and valued, we are still climbing a mountain. Any young person is impressionable—females especially - and it is our responsibility as women to ensure that young girls see actual examples of women living life as an equal and empowered community member. If girls hear from a young age that nothing is impossible for them because of their gender, they won’t accept limits that society may try to place on them.” It is imperative that young girls see us as those positive voices everyday. It can be something as small as writing positive body image notes and sticking them on the mirror, or getting involved in organizations where hands-on interactions can happen. One such organization is Girls on the Run, which provides young girls with coaches as their positive role models. Throughout the season, both coaches and girls end up learning about the importance of friendship, living out our dreams, making our own choices and living a healthy life. “I am a firm believer in the adage that ‘you can’t be what you can’t see.’ When girls see what happy healthy women are like, from all ages and stages and shapes and sizes and professions, it helps them make room for their own possibilities,” says Kathleen Cannon, program director for Girls on the Run Twin Cities. “Positive female role models are transformative for growing girls. Our volunteer coaches come from all walks of life. We have teams of girls led by army sergeants, veterinarians, college students, empty nesters, corporate leaders, kindergarten teachers, IT gurus and everything in between.” A 2013 study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that simply looking at images of female role models giving a speech could improve women’s leadership skills. Young girls look up to what the women in their lives are doing around them, and they want to become that. “Here is one small example of what coaches mean to girls: at Vista View Elementary in Burnsville, students were invited to dress up on Career Day as what they want to be when they grow up. That morning, several girls showed up in their Girls on the Run shirts and 5k medals, saying they wanted to be Girls on the Run coaches when they grow up,” Cannon said. “That speaks volumes about the relationships they’ve developed with these positive, dependable, healthy adults and how much they want to emulate them.” I recall picturing at the women in my life who I looked up to, and I made the choice to cultivate those qualities every single day that I valued in them the most - kindness, determination, positivity, respect

and confidence. It is these attitudes that I would want my own child to have - the kind of attitudes that builds up those around us and brings out their best, and doesn’t tear them down. “Personal reflection is key. Each woman should take some time to think about what she wished she would have heard from other females growing up, what actions could she have witnessed to make her believe that she can do anything,” Lewis said. “Taking those thoughts and turning them into action to be an example for younger girls can make all the differCheck out all the great things that Girls ence. I think one thing on the Run Twin Cities is up to, and how that women don’t realize is you can be a leader for young girls in Minnesota. www.gotrtwincities.org. that every moment in our lives, we can serve as a role Visit the Confidence Coalition at model to someone else.” confidencecoalition.org for resources about empowering young girls, and to sign “I always say that the the confidence pledge. biggest thing that any one of us can offer girls is our own best self,” Cannon said. That means different things for different people; if you are silly, be silly. If you are quiet, be quiet. If you are awkward, be awkward. When they see us embrace ourselves and our quirks, it gives them permission to do the same, and it also showcases the fact that there is a place for everyone and that there is not one way to be great.” So take a minute and think: What kind of role models did you have, do you need right now, and how can you be that for the young girls in your life? Sources: Kim Lewis: kim.lewis@kappadelta.org Kathleen Cannon: kathleen.cannon@girlsontherun.org “Successful female leaders empower women’s behavior in leadership tasks,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, May 2013. www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103113000206 Dove Campaign for Real Beauty: dove.com/us/en/stories/about-dove/ our-research.html Confidence Coalition: confidencecoalition.org/about Sara Schlueter is a magazine editor in the Twin Cities with degrees in journalism and apparel merchandising from Iowa State University. She is passionate about telling people’s stories and being involved in the community.

“When they see us embrace ourselves and our quirks, it gives them permission to do the same, and it also showcases the fact that there is a place for everyone and that there is not one way to be great.” - Kathleen Cannon, Girls on the Run Twin Cities NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016 |

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Playbill SB Regular I’m Back! 11th Annual

This little symbol of Christmas love is available exclusively from your favorite area businesses. Starting November 1, collect $400 worth of receipts from participating businesses, bring them in to the Owatonna People’s Press, and claim your limited-edition 2016 Owat-A-Bear!

Act Fast! Only 100 are Available!

Happy Holidays from Nicollet County Bank

Please join us for our

The Staff of Nicollet County Bank

Holiday Open House Friday, December 9th • 2-4 pm

St Peter High School Swing Choir singing from 3:00-3:30 PM Cookies, Coffee & Cider will be served!

220 South Third Street St. Peter · 931-3310 www.nicolletcountybank.com Like us on Facebook!

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Kari Berit

Unexpected CaregiveR Kari Berit (KariBerit.net) is a national speaker and author of the new revised edition of The Unexpected Caregiver. c.2016

Sanity during the holiday “Mom can no longer make the big holiday dinner, so I have to take over. We have to keep it going for her sake,” I once had a caregiver daughter tell me. On top of the numerous duties and tasks as a caregiver, the holidays often bring extra pressure to hold up family traditions and make THIS holiday the best ever. The best gift you could give your loved ones and yourself this holiday season is to be S.A.N.E. – Supported, Appreciated, Not Guilty. In my new and expanded version of The Unexpected Caregiver: How to Keep Mom & Dad Active, Safe and Independent and Yourself S.A.N.E. (Attainment Company, 2016), I’ve included five new chapters on taking care of you—the one who gives the care and rearranges their life in order to help a loved one. Especially during this holiday season, if you follow my acronym of S.A.N.E.—Supported, Appreciated, Not guilty and Energized—your holidays will be less about stress and more about enjoyment. Supported. Who is supporting you, the caregiver? Do you have a friend you can call when you’re feeling blue? Do you exercise when you need to release frustration? Are you a part of a caregiver support group, where you can share feelings with people who understand? During the holidays, set aside a time where you do something just for you (and someone else stays with your loved one). Risk asking for help. Be specific: “Could you stay with Mom on Tuesdays between noon and 3 so I can have lunch with a friend and take a long walk?” You may want to brainstorm ideas first and then ask one or two friends for help in setting up this time for you. Appreciated. When your needs aren’t in the forefront, it adds yet another level of stress to your caregiving. It’s altogether too easy to get overly tired, and then your caregiving and your loved one become a burden.

In order to feel appreciated, you need to change the messages you’re giving yourself and reject the notion that simply doing more means you’re being a better caregiver. Start by making a list of all you do for your loved one(s). Look at the list and be appreciative for what you can do, not what you think you should do. Appreciation for what you do as a caregiver may feel odd, but get used to that feeling. The more you show yourself appreciation, the better care you will be able togive. Not Guilty. Guilt is a constant companion on the caregiving journey. Guilt that you aren’t there enough. Guilt that you took the time to go for a run. Guilt that you have haven’t visited your grandchild because you’re taking care of your dad. Guilt that just makes you feel crappy. Guilt is like a yoke that we place upon our shoulders when, really, you’re not in control of your loved one’s sickness or your siblings’ lack of ability (or willingness) to help. The only thing you have control over is how you respond to the situation. E+R=O is the formula to keep at the ready — Events happen; how you Respond will determine the Outcome. Energized. When you feel like you can’t get out of bed and all you want to do is take another nap, you need to find a way to energize yourself. The brain can help. Work on a crossword puzzle or Suduko, or go to an art exhibit. Break free from your normal routine and do something that engages your brain. Dance in the middle of the day—energizing the brain and the body. Take your new-found energy and turn the holidays upside down. Do less, and spread out who brings what for dinner. Or buy a readymade dinner from the local grocery store. Let go of what you think the holidays “should” be like, and let them be what they will be. Your sanity is the greatest gift you can give your loved ones and yourself.

“Let us enhance your independence” Faribault Senior Living offers Independent, Assisted and Memory Care.

Stop by and visit us today!

507-331-6510 \ Located on South Lyndale Ave. in Faribault \ www.faribaultseniorliving.com NOVEMBER ISSUE 2016 |

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Book Review

A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence, and Power By Jimmy Carter c.2016, Simon and Schuster $28.00 / $34.00 Canada 213 pages

Review by Terri Schlichenmeyer, The Bookworm

o Gurlz Allowed. Once upon a time, you might’ve seen a sign that said that, or hung one in spite. Girls had cooties then. Boys were dumb. It was a part of childhood, but you’re an enlightened adult today and we’ve come a long way. Or have we? Author Jimmy Carter says that worldwide cultures of violence and economic disparity still perpetuate abuse of women and girls. In his new book, “A Call to Action,” he examines the issues. Because he grew up in an atmosphere of relative racial tolerance, Jimmy Carter says that he was, early in life, somewhat oblivious to the “ravages” of discrimination in the South. When he was “about fourteen,” he became quietly, fully aware of segregation in his community. Today, he says that “the most serious and unaddressed worldwide challenge is the deprivation and abuse of women and girls…” a situation he says is “largely caused by… false interpretation” of religious tenets and tracts, and by violence and warfare. The prevailing situation for many women and girls in China, India, the Middle East and some African countries is well-known: female circumcision, child marriage, dowry deaths, “honor” killings, rape in warfare, lack of freedom, and genocide of female infants are things we gasp at and have nightmares over. But Carter says that Americans are also to blame for a part of the worldwide lack of equality for women.

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The Carter Center has noted that “Almost everywhere… women are relegated to secondary positions of influence and authority…” Many religious leaders continue to interpret Scripture in a way that pushes women into subservient roles in church and at home. The number of incarcerated African-American women has “increased by 800 percent” since Carter’s presidency. More women graduate from college, but colleges hire a low number of female professors. Sexual assaults are vastly underreported and often unpunished in colleges and in the military. Sexual slavery continues in our cities. And women still trail men in their paychecks. So what can be done? Carter offers twenty-three “actions” to carry out - but first, we need to change the language of change: start using “human rights” instead of “women’s rights” because, by benefitting women, these actions benefit men, too. It’s hard not to feel ineffectual while you’re reading “A Call to Action.” Author and former President Jimmy Carter presents huge problems in this small book – ones that occur overseas as well as domestically, and that encompass seemingly insurmountable issues. They range from the definitely irritating to the downright deadly, and though Carter offers his end-of-book “actions” to rid society of inequality, I didn’t see much on how one individual can effect change. And yet – there’s enough food for thought here to keep your mind working overtime. Carter’s words stick like proverbial glue. Is that enough to spur readers to do what his books’ title asks? That’s something to ask yourself as you read this contemplative, timely discourse on issues that many of both sexes have considered. “A Call to Action,” in fact, is not just for gurlz only. -The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer. Terri has been reading since she was 3 years old and she never goes anywhere without a book. She lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 12,000 books. For more information, visit bookwormsez@gmail.com.

Girlfriends Guide

$ Financial Resources Brad L. Running CLU

Financial Advisor. A unique and disciplined approach. Today, it’s natural to have questions about your retirement, even if you’ve saved and planned for it. With our proprietary Confident Retirement® approach, we’ll find answers and take the first step toward creating a road map to the future you want. We’ll talk through the four basic principles of retirement: (1) covering essential expenses, (2) assuring your lifestyle, (3) preparing for the unexpected and (4) leaving a legacy. And I’ll help you make adjustments as needed so you can retire on your terms. Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc., 1850 Austin Road, Suite 104, Owatonna, MN 55060, 507-455-4070 brad.l.running@ampf.com, ameripriseadvisors@ampf.com/brad.l.running.

Castle Rock Bank

The Castle Rock Bank has been serving the women in this community for 96 years. To answer the question, “What do women want in banking?” We believe the answer is, “To be heard, understood, respected and valued.” 27925 Danville Ave Castle Rock, 507-645-7751 www.castlerockbank.net.

Food & Entertainment Legacy Golf & The Grill at The Legacy

The Legacy is a championship 18-hole facility offering value-added golf and a warm friendly environment for golf outings & casual dining. It provides a unique setting for meetings, reunions, groom’s dinners, banquets and bridal showers. The indoor Grill can accommodate 30-50 people & the open-air Pavilion can accommodate up to 170. 1515 Shumway Ave, Faribault, 507-332-7177 www.legacygolf.net.

Health & Wellness

Holland Family Dental

Holland Family Dental is located in the Professional Building on Hillcrest Ave. in Owatonna. We have been in Owatonna since 1996 and concentrate on dentistry for the entire family. We offer services in preventive, cosmetic and comprehensive care which includes implants and up-to-date dental technology. Please visit us at 605 Hillcrest Ave. Owatonna MN. 507-451-7250.

IN TOUCH PHYSICAL THERAPY

In Touch Physical Therapy is dedicated to providing hands on care to promote and maintain the healthy function of every client. Our doctors of physical therapy specialize in injury rehab, chronic pain, work comp injuries, car accidents, dizziness, pain management, sports training, and women’s health. We have one hour appointments. Check us out at www.intouchpt.com. We work with all insurance companies. Your pain stops here! 123 W. Broadway St. Owatonna, MN. 507451-7888.

Millstream Commons Assisted Living

Millstream Commons Assisted Living is located in downtown Northfield. 44 Assisted Living apartments (studio, 1 and 2 BR) featuring three meals a day, supportive nursing care, respite care, & life enrichment activities. Pets allowed. Licensed Housing with Services provider. Part of the Three Links Community. Member of Aging Services of Minnesota. 210 8th St W, Northfield, 507-650-9627, threelinks.org.

Northfield Urgent Care

Tired of waiting to see your doctor for simple problems like sore throats and earaches? We provide walk-in medical care for all ages, from infants to adults. We are open 7 days per week and no appointment is needed! Quick, easy and efficient! 2014 Jefferson Rd Suite C, Northfield, MN 55057, 507-664-9999, northfieldurgentcare. com.

The Northfield Area Family YMCA

The Northfield Area Family YMCA is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing opportunities for all individuals, families, and the community to achieve their fullest potential. From summer camps, to youth sports, to preschool activities and adult wellness, we have something for everyone. Become a member of the YMCA! 1501 Honeylocust Drive, Northfield 507-6450088, www.northfieldymca.org. Scholarships are available to ensure everyone can participate.

Northfield Retirement Community

Situated on a 30-acre, beautifully landscaped campus, NRC was established in 1969 to provide housing and services specifically designed to meet the physical, social, psychological and spiritual needs of older adults. Housing options include apartments with a minimal level of services, as well as other home settings that make increasing levels of service readily available. Options include rental and owner-occupied living spaces. Units are available for both income-sensitive and market-rate income levels. NRC also provides a fully-staffed care center for those who desire a more traditional nursing home setting. 900 Cannon Valley Drive, Northfield, 507-645-9511, northfieldretirement.org.

Home & Garden ENDRES WINDOW CLEANING

Here at Endres Window Cleaning, we pride ourselves in having the best value in the Midwest. An often dirty and time-consuming job, professional window cleaning will protect your windows, boost the curb appeal of your home and allow you more time to do the things you enjoy. Family owned and operated since 1988, we offer residential and commercial services with quality that is guaranteed to shine through. Call us at 507-932-5326 for your free estimate today.

Judy’s Floral Design

Whether your wedding is black tie/ ballroom or barefoot on the beach or somewhere in between! Beautiful, quality flowers and great ideas start with Judy Smith. “Specializing in fresh creative and affordable blooms for all the flower moments of your life” 507-645-0008, 300 Railway St. North, Dundas, judysfloraldesign.com.

Simon Bros Cement Co.

Simon Bros Cement Co. has been serving the Northfield area since 1969. We specialize in quality concrete and masonry including foundations, driveways, epoxy garage floors. Call for a free estimate. We will look at your project and use 40+ years of experience to share ideas and advice. Call Ray 612-328-4591.

Insurance American Family Insurance Bart Jackson Agency

American Family Insurance offers home, automobile, atv, motorcycle, boat, commercial business, farm and life insurance. We are available to meet with you personally to review your situation and provide recommendations as to the proper coverage’s for your needs. Bart Jackson Insurance Agency, 408 Central Ave N, Suite D, Faribault, MN 55021. 507-332-6812.

Salons BLOWN AWAY SALON & SPA

Blown Away Salon & Spa offers a variety of services that are perfect for any budget. The salon side offers hair cutting, styling, coloring, & perming. All of our staff is experienced and attends regular classes to keep our guests updated. On the spa side, we offer massage with therapists specializing in Swedish, Deep Tissue, Prenatal, & Reflexology. Our Esthetician does body waxing, makeup lessons/applications, lash extensions, facials, microderm, and chemical peels. Getting married? Check out our great bridal packages! 159 18th St. SW, Suite 4, Owatonna, MN 55060. www.blown-away-salon.com.

Shopping The Paper Petalum

The Paper Petalum in the historic Archer House at 212 Division St., Northfield. offers friendly customer service and unique gifts for all occasions. Locally owned and operated since 1987 we specialize in Scandinavian gifts, Minnesota products, decorative napkins, Polish Pottery, Rothschild foods, and much, much more. Stop in and visit us. 507-663-0565.

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Girlfriends Guide

CONTINUES FROM PAGE 15

Transportation

Travel

Community Co-op

The Community Co-op is located in beautiful and historic downtown Faribault, MN. We were organized in 1925 and have been a cornerstone of this community ever since. We specialize in fuels, lubricants, tires, and vehicle service, all for an affordable price. Women live busy lives, our staff understands how important service and convenience are. That is why we are the Company where our customers send their friends. 9 Central Ave, Faribault 507-334-2056, www.coopoilfblt. com.

CEDAR TRAVEL

We pride ourselves to be a full service travel agency serving the needs of our customers since 1989! We want to take time to know your needs and find the perfect fit for your memorable vacation, so stop in or call for a consultation! Whether it’s a honeymoon, romantic vacation, family reunion or a getaway with your girlfriends, our agents are live and here for you! Our staff is available Monday-Friday 8:30AM-5PM and enjoy sharing stories of our favorite destinations! 111 Cedar Avenue, N. Owatonna, MN 55060, 507455-1170, www.cedartravel.net.

Northfield Lines, Inc.

Have your group arrive in style when you pull up in one of our luxurious motor or mini coaches. Single or multi-day sightseeing trips, shopping, girlfriend getaways, dining, concerts, weddings, receptions, casino visits – you name the event and we will get your group there safely and on time. 32611 Northfield Blvd, Northfield, 800-9442190, www.northfieldlines.com.

Q. You originally only planned to stay in the Army for six years. What changed your mind? A. I enjoyed it a lot more than what I thought I would. It opened a lot of doors for me. I’ve had some absolutely amazing experiences in the Army and met some really great people. You have your family and then you have your Army family.

Getting to know you Family: Husband Corey, kids Steven (5), Elsie (3), Lyla (1) First “real” job: Testing cheese at 17 for the Davisco Corporation in Le Sueur Countries she’s visited while serving: Kuwait, Iraq, Panama, Germany, South Korea, Canada Future goals: Getting promoted to major and finishing her 20 years of service Dream job: opening up an ice cream shop in a town on the lake Fun fact about Fennell: During her senior year of high school, she visited Australia, bought a didgeridoo and attended didgeridoo school, becoming a certified didgeridoo player Grace Webb is a wandering reporter whose home base is Mankato.

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Find us online at www.cashwisedelivers.com 496 West North Street, Owatonna • 507-451-7220 507-451-8440 3014_7.5x4.9

NOVEMBER Issue 2016 |

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Give them the greatest gift of all,

good health!

Child and Teen Checkups

Child and Teen Checkups are available to children from birth through age 20 who are covered by Minnesota Health Care programs • Medical Assistance • Medica

• South Country Health Alliance • Blue Plus

Child and Teen Checkups Program Steele County PubliC HealtH

507-444-7650

RiCe County PubliC HealtH

507-332-6111

Call if you need help with transportation, interpreters or making an appointment.

HOMETOWN TEAMWORK. HOMETOWN TEAMWORK. HOMETOWN TEAMWORK.

Still here. And Continuing to Provide Quality Care for over 30 years.

EXCEPTIONAL EXCEPTIONAL

CARING CARING CARING

EXCEPTIONAL

Hans C. Bengtson, M.D.

Gail, LPN

Hans C. Bengtson, M.D.

Gail, LPN

Hans C. Bengtson, M.D.

REASSURING REASSURING

REASSURING

Kate, PA-C

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EXPERIENCED EXPERIENCED

EXPERIENCED Erik S. Stroemer, M.D.

ACCOMPLISHED ACCOMPLISHED ACCOMPLISHED

Clinton A. Muench, M.D.

WORKING TOGETHER WORKING WORKING FOR YOU TOGETHER TOGETHER EVERY FOR YOU FOR YOU STEP OF EVERY EVERY THE WAY. STEP OF STEP OF THE WAY.

THE WAY.

Kate, PA-C S. Stroemer, M.D. Faribault Chamber ofErik Commerce 2016 Business of the Year

Kate, PA-C

Erik S.

Keeping your Healthcare Close to Home

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