Scene january 2017 by Kate Noet

JANUARY 2017 - southernminnSCENE.com

Southern minn

YOUR FREE GET-OUT SOURCE TO SOUTHERN MINNESOTA

Scene 6

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A look back, and a look forward Exactly how awful was 2016?

In Memoriam

SouthernMinn SCENE pays tribute to some of the many people we lost in 2016

The Daniel G. Moir Music Awards

jobs! SouthernMinn

Our resident album reviewer hands out his annual awards to the dynamic and the dubious

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| JANUARY 2017

www.studio14salonandspa.com 2

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A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c a l e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & C l i c k + A d d a n E v ent

CONTENT JANUARY 2017 / VOLUME 5 / ISSUE 1

4 So It Goes In SoMinn

16 The Daniel G. Moir

5 SoMinn SOUND

Our resident album reviewer hands out his annual awards to the dynamic and the dubious.

It’s almost a new year. Let the soul searching commence.

Our fantastic music columnist shares her picks for the best Minnesota albums of 2016.

6 A look back, and a

look forward

Exactly how awful was 2016?

8 In Memoriam

SouthernMinn Scene pays tribute to some of the many people we lost in 2016.

30 The Bookworm Sez:

Music Awards

• Denver Nicks discusses America’s love affair with the chili pepper in ‘Hot Sauce Nation’. • Sometimes love isn’t all that, and marriage is like ‘The Fortress’. • ‘Ghostland’ is a skeptic’s guide to the best ghost stories. • ‘Unlikely Companions’ shows there’s more to life than owning a dog or a cat. • ‘Being a Dog’ smells like a good one. • ‘Let Me Out’ doesn’t really dot the trick. • ‘Twenty-Six Seconds’ is a nice story that clears nothing up. • ‘Wild and Precious Life’ is irritating, raw and very powerful.

18 Woldum TV

Taking a look at the shows you should be thinking about in 2017.

21 Kate’s Cut

Movies in 2016 were defined by four simple words.

22 The TimeLine

The SoMinn’s most comprehensive calendar of things to be SCENE.

15 The Democratic

The political year was defined by one choice in one election. It’s just not the one you think it is.

Scene

• Jeanne Taylor’s self-titled debut brings old fashioned Top 40 back to Minnesota.

38 The Bearded Life

Every Love Story is A Ghost Story.

jobs! SouthernMinn

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34 Sportsball

National Crisis

Southern minn

35 CD Reviews:

It’s been a less-than-memorable year for the pro sports teams of Minnesota.

ABOUT

Publisher & Editor: Rich Larson, 507.645.1104, rlarson@southernminnSCENE.com Calendar listings: 507.333.3130, editor@southernminnSCENE.com Advertising: Faribault & Kenyon - Mark Nelson, 507.333.3109, mnelson@faribault.com LeSueur & Waseca Counties - Chad Hjellming, 507.645.1110, chjellming@northfieldnews.com Lonsdale - Lori Nickel, 507.744.2551, lnickel@lonsdalenewsreview.com Northfield & South Metro - Jay Petsche, 507.645.1120, jpetsche@northfieldnews.com Steele County - Ginny Bergerson, 507.444.2386, gbergerson@owatonna.com

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Business Belgrade on

Historic & Unique

Association Beautiful Lower North Mankato, MN

A 501(c) 4 Non-Profit Corporation

Presents the Upcoming Community Events

BOOKIN’ ON BELGRADE

NEARLY 5K FAMILY FUN RUN (AND WALK)

June 4th, 2016 | bookinonbelgrade.wordpress.com Bookin’ on Belgrade: This event is a nearly 5K family Fun Run and “walk” brought to you by The Business on Belgrade Association, The Orthopaedic & Fracture Clinic PA; and the Mayo Health Systems. Our mission is to promote public health and well being of our community. There will be a small charge for this event. If you need financial assistance and would like to participate please contact the North Mankato Taylor Library. 507-345-5120

Blues On Belgrade

July 23rd, 2016 | www.businessonbelgrade.org Blues on Belgrade: Concert began in 2009 as the Belgrade Ave. Blues and Jazz Festival on a small gravel parking lot just off of the 200 block of Belgrade Ave. In 2010 the concert was moved to the East end of Belgrade Ave. and in 2011, the stage was located at the intersection of Range St. and Belgrade Ave. In 2012 the Belgrade Ave. Blues and Jazz Festival became the Blues on Belgrade Concert. The Business on Belgrade Association strives to bring you the finest of entertainment for the Blues on Belgrade Concert free of charge to you our customers.

Bumpers On Belgrade Thursdays, May - Sept. | www.businessonbelgrade.org The Business on Belgrade Association along with Unique Auto and the City of North Mankato present Bumpers on Belgrade (Classic Car Roll In) every Thursday from May thru Sept. 2017, 5 to 8pm in Historical and Unique Beautiful Lower North Mankato, 200 block Belgrade Ave. Prizes along with t-shirt giveaways. Every week a Unique Auto will be displayed courtesy of Unique Auto of Mankato.

M - F • 9 to 7pm | Sat • 9 to 6pm | Closed Sunday A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c a l e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & C l i c k + A d d a n E v ent

Oktoberfest Bier on Belgrade

September 24th, 2016 | www.businessonbelgrade.org Bier on Belgrade: (Oktoberfest) Business on Belgrade present our miniature version of German heritage and fun. Join us for our 5th Annual Bier on Belgrade located in the Central Business District of Historic and Unique, Beautiful Lower North Mankato. We will have a fun filled day of activities, food vendors, live music, Bier sampling and 18 beers on tap from local and world renown brewery’s. Ceremonial first beer with city officials, bean bag toss, and keg bowling. Wear your Lederhosen or St. Paulie Girl outfit and receive and extra free beverage ticket with $10.00 admission. Must be 21 years of age to attend.

Bells on Belgrade December 3rd, 2016 | www.businessonbelgrade.org

Bells on Belgrade: “Holiday fun event for the entire family”. Trolley Rides along Belgrade Ave., Medallion Hunt, Santa & Elves, Local Caroling Groups, Winter Wonderland Parade and more. Join us on Belgrade Ave. In Beautiful Lower North on Sunday, December 4, 2016 from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. The Winter Wonderland Parade is set for 6:30 p.m. on Belgrade Ave. This event is for THE CHILDREN and brought to you, FREE of charge by the Business on Belgrade Association, and The City of North Mankato. Please visit the Belgrade Ave. Local merchants for Holiday specials. MERRY CHRISTMAS

Frozen Fun Days/

Anthony Ford Pond Hockey Classic February 11-12, 2017 | www.businessonbelgrade.org Business on Belgrade Association presents Frozen Fun Days in conjunction with Anthony Ford Pond Hockey Classic

Business on Belgrade Association’s mission is to promote, enhance and preserve Beautiful Lower North Mankato as a diverse business, cultural and residential destination for the benefit of the entire community. If anyone would like to volunteer for the events please contact us at: Web: businessonbelgrade.org • Email: businessonbelgrade@gmail.com

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So it goes in SoMinn

Autumn Van Ravenhorst is a staff writer and columnist for SouthernMinn Scene. If you live in the Owatonna area, she’d also be happy to sell you an ad in this wonderful magazine. Drop her a line at AVanRavenhorst@ owatonna.com

Life Happens

t’s the first week in December as I write this and I am passed deadline, per usual. It is this trait, and many others of mine, that I brood over, wondering whether I am going to keep doing them (which I will—sorry, Rich) or try my damnedest to improve. We are nearing the end of the year, and the world has forced us to ponder how the past year went. New Year’s resolutions, Facebook memories, “New Year, New You!” e-mail blasts and direct mail titled “We haven’t seen you in a while”—these are just a few of the trying ways we are reminded to “reflect.” (This is the obligatory self-examination column. I promise I’ll kick off the New Year with something awesome once it is officially 2017.) Although I may not assign specific resolutions to myself at the start of each year, I personally don’t see anything wrong with taking time out to ruminate on what you’ve done and how you plan on becoming a better person. Some people don’t like it. There is always that one person that has to come along and bellow out, “You should be doing that all year!” or “Start now, what are you waiting for?” Don’t be that guy. The time to begin making changes or re-evaluating goals falls in December for a lot of people because the start of a new year means the passing of another and with that will come the loss of time. We are all afraid of running out of time and easily become frustrated with what we feel is a lack of time given. The truth is, you really do only have so much time. I don’t want to say “it is how you use your time that matters” because frequently my time is also someone else’s time. A lot of my time is shared with the other humans that I have chosen to make a part of my life. I know that I am breaking it down more than it needs to, but I don’t want to oversimplify it because sometimes life happens. And when life happens, it doesn’t mean you are making excuses. It just means that some things have taken precedence over others. One could say that getting an adequate amount of

AUTUMN VAN RAVENhorst

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sleep is more important in my life right now than waking up at 4 a.m. to do kettlebell squats. If making excuses means caring more about my ability to function than the grandeur of my ass, then I guess I make justifications quite often (can you tell that I am already over the New Year resolutions marketing schemes?). This year for me, life happened. It happened quite a bit. I wanted to go to Oregon, but life happened. I wanted to use my new fishing pole, but life happened. I wanted to finish a painting I started three years ago, but life happened. And I am not talking about laundry, homework or other insignificant tasks that can wait. I am talking about real shit. The kind where you find yourself sitting, staring blankly at the wall asking yourself, “What is happening right now?” But, you find out what is important to you once it starts to hurt. I am not upset by any of my circumstances and I am certainly not complaining. I am saying that a lot of us are made to feel guilty at the end of the year because of this focus on creating resolutions, sticking to them and making the most out of our time. That last one is important, but these interruptions called life aren’t supposed to take you off your path. They are supposed to hit you a little bit—or a lot—and eventually you will get back on track. If you know yourself enough, the shit will fall back into place. I personally know that I am not going to be that person who dies at 25 but isn’t buried until they are 75. That just won’t happen. I’ve got too much to do. The best advice is to find ways to be not so miserable. Pretty simple, eh? What I always tell myself happens to come from my good friend, Buddha: “What is, is.” Boom, #lifechanger. If there is something in your life you can change, then change it. But if you can’t, you either accept it or obsess over it and be despondent. For example, when on the border of financial ruin, you can change that: find a second job. If your macaroni and cheese tastes like depression, the solution is to add less milk. But, if you truly can’t change something, negating it will only bring you

more unhappiness. Just roll with it, mang. Oprah would tell me I am wrong, but I do believe in failure. I don’t think it needs to be called anything else than what it is. How do you call being a dick to your best friend a “learning opportunity?” Or, let’s relate it to work. Your cash register falls $200 short, or maybe you are in sales and come 40% short of your goal (I may or may not have done this). Sure, I learned to never do that again and to be more organized in the future. But, prior to this learning opportunity, I messed up. Moving on from the failure is just as important as accepting it.

A couple other notes to end my year strong: 1. You don’t like everyone, and not everyone likes you. 2. Before you can change your circumstances, you may need to change yourself. 3. Appreciate the present moment. 4. Stop buying so much crap, unless of course it is a pair of perfectly fitting pants and in that case, buy every color available. Buy two of the same color. Buy them all. 5. Talk about your accomplishments without feeling like a self-important asshole. Don’t preface it with anything like “I don’t want to sound conceited but . . .” or “Amidst my many failures . . .” I’ll show you how easy it is. This year, I joined the Steele County Historical Society Board of Directors, started writing for another publication, bought a home, rediscovered my love for the outdoors and overall became a much happier motha-trucka. 6. Put your focus towards being all around a better person. We need more of those. There it is folks. In the words of my three year-old, “Life is tough like a cheese puff.”

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S.O. Minn SOUND

SARAH OSTERBAUER Sarah Osterbauer is a die-hard music lover. When she does her budget each month, food comes after concert tickets. Find her on twitter @SarahOwrites.

#NowPlaying Hamilton Mixtape - Believe the hype and let yourself love the genius of Lin Manuel Miranda. The Hamilton tracks re-imagined with familiar voices of Kelly Clarkson, John Legend and the Twin Cities own Dessa are gold.

The Best Minnesota Music of 2016

Idina Menzel Once you open that door to musicals, you won’t be able to stop. And given the season, Idina Menzel’s new album and her holiday album are sure to put you in the holiday spirit. Before she “Let It Go” she was a Broadway star from Wicked, “Defying Gravity.” Pentatonix - Because one Christmas album is just not enough for this a cappella troupe, they followed up their 2015 Christmas release, That’s Christmas To Me with A Pentatonix Christmas. Their locked down harmonies and creative arrangements turn regular Christmas classics into multipart masterpieces.

Go See

2016

will probably be remembered more for the musicians we lost than anything we gained, but in the midst of our mourning, we came away stellar showings from Minnesota artists. The Minneapolis music scene continues to grow and thrive, many of the bands interwoven, like the ingredients of a good hot dish. In Minneapolis, our artists tend to be more like family, belonging to several different bands or making appearances on each other’s records, writing songs or producing for others. These albums are no exception. We are lucky to live in an area that produces exceptional talent across genres. Any music fan can find a band doing justice to their genre in this town. So without further ado (and in no particular order) here are my picks for best local albums of 2016.

Lizzo - Coconut Oil Born in Detroit and raised in Houston, Melissa Jefferson, aka Lizzo, relocated to the Twin Cities in 2011 so we can claim her as our own.Armed with heavy artillery of self-love and positivity, she packs major punch in these six tracks from her major label debut. “Good As Hell” was the under-the-radarsummer-anthem that should’ve been as big as JT or Bruno Mars had it gotten the same airplay. “Phone” is a Beyonce-esque booty shaker that every girl can relate to. She’s unapologetic and fearless and we love her for it.

The Pines Above the Prairie The Pines are a gem of a band. They represent the essence of everything Minnesotan with a sound that can be as calm and open as a cornfield and as majestic as a forest. Their music sounds as though it were it created by the land they use so often as subject matter. Cinematic soundscapes sweep and flourish against David Huckfelt’s thoughtful vocals.

Haley Bonar - Impossible Dream For Haley Bonar’s seventh album, she continues down a path of self discovery, exploring the depths of herself while recalling the past. Her song titles read like a teen story, and indeed she reminds us how those formative years keep coming back to bite us. Her light airy vocals and indie guitars will lull you into

Poliça United Crushers

a state of nostalgia, both beautiful and depressing at the same time.

Sims - More Than Ever The last time we saw new music from Sims solo was 2014’s Field Notes EP. This time it’s game over with a 13 track monster. In true Sims style these tracks are word heavy jungles, with swinging branches of random pop culture tidbits expertly entwined with metaphor. The beats are heavy, some bangers and some deep grinding. “Spinning Away” is that slow burn you don’t want to end.

Rogue Valley - Radiate/ Dissolve Chris Koza and co created a beautiful landscape of music that uses old Western style sounds and transforms them into traveler’s lullabies. They sooth the soul and the mind, wistfully dreamy and reflective. It is music for the wanderer in all of us.

Communist Daughter The Cracks That Built the Wall After a four year hiatus, one of the Twin Cities best rock bands comes back triumphantly with a solid work of classic 70’s era rock jams. Expertly crafted and beautifully harmonized, this album proved to be worth the wait.

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Trailer Trash Playing multiple venues for their Trashy Little Xmas Show. It is a SoMinn “must see” event, fun for the whole family. Be sure to get ahold of the Jingle Stick!

Poliça continues to be outward and upright with their social and political feelings, for which we should all be grateful. They chronicle the truth in our society and call out the injustices for women and people of color. At the same time delivering their signature high quality marriage of double drums and pre-produced tracks.

Zuluzuluu What’s the Price Widely praised by Twin Cities media, when Zuluzuluu won City Pages Picked to Click award, it was icing on the cake. Their album What’s the Price is a combination of funk, jazz and neo-soul with Afrocentric beats and themes. Six members deep, including Greg Grease, they’re a culmination of years of collaboration between friends who decided to make it official. They create mindful tunes with feel good grooves reaching people who yearn for content and those who would prefer to avoid it all together.

Fraea - Bend Your Bones In this day and age there’s a electro-pop band on every corner. They are everywhere, growing in number exponentially. But somehow through all the others, Fraea emerges with their own uniqueness. Singer Jessie Daley describes their sound as “shadow pop” because of the underlying darker tones to their sound and ambiguous themes. Her icy vocals make their way through the air like the entrails of a patronus. Their sound is ethereal and consuming, polished and ready to be digested straight no chaser.

Dead Man Winter - Mainroom at First Ave February 10 with Erik Koskinen and The Pines, when Dave Simonett is off from Trampled By Turtles duty he trades his acoustic guitar for an electric and turns into Dead Man Winter. With a new album dropping in January, this show is a can’t miss event.

This Happened RIP Leonard Cohen & Sharon Jones 2016 continues to steal our musical giants. This time it was “Hallelujah” songwriter Leonard Cohen and front woman of the Dap KIngs, Sharon Jones. Cohen, a legend of song, whose carear spanned decades, released his last album in 2016, You Want It Darker at the age of 82. His smokey bass “made from a million cigarettes and hundreds of whiskey shots” (as he told NPR’s Terry Gross) was distinctive and unlike any other. He wrote beautiful poetry in addition to his songs, his words delivering clever truths wrapped in silk boxes. Jones, lost her battle with cancer, which was immortalized in the documentary Miss Sharon Jones. She was force on stage, often called the female James Brown. Even during chemo she would work the stage, saying that performing was her therapy. She wasn’t the type to stay home and wait to die, no, she would do it on the stage. We mourn these two musical giants, special in their own ways and ultimately a major loss to the music community. Yeezy - Ye finally checked himself into a facility to deal with his mental health issues. As we have seen played out in the media, his demons have been plaguing him for some time. As the news broke, many of his friends and cohorts voiced their support. Here’s hoping he comes back to fuel the fire that is the Kanye way.

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look back, and a look forward By RICH LARSON rlarson@southernminnscene.com

ne of life’s simplest, most basic rules is this: when you’re the boss you get to tell people what to do. I’m publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene, which by any definition makes me the boss. So, how is it that I’m writing this article? How is it that everybody I asked to do this one found some reason to get out of it? I had a couple of “that’s not really my area of expertise” answers, a couple “I’m already writing something for you” answers, a couple of “I’m out of town” answers, a couple non-answers and one “Oh, God. Really?” I mean there’s no question this is a daunting task. I told our writers I wanted to sum up the year in less than 1500 words. Nobody would touch it, because this just isn’t any year. For many 2016 was a traumatic year; for others it was glorious. The only agreement seems to be that this was not a boring year. The last twelve months have been notably marked with celebrity deaths, political upheaval and social unrest, much of which was completely unexpected. Nobody wanted to write this article because putting it all into context is just about impossible, no matter what the word count would be. A lot happened that we’ll be talking about for generations to come. I discovered the joys of the podcast this year as I spent hours on Highway 60 or Highway 14 bringing the word of SouthernMinn Scene to your town. Among my favorites is The FiveThirtyEight, a politically oriented podcast put together by highly respected mathematician and soothsayer Nate Silver. The episode that has stuck with me was one that came out shortly after the Republican National Convention in July that asked an alarming question: “Is this 1968 all over again?” For those not really into history, I would remind you that 1968 was a year when many Americans thought the country was coming apart at the seams. The year began with news that the North Vietnamese Army and the Viet Cong had launched coordinated surprise attacks, catching the American military flatfooted. What came to be known as the Tet Offensive showed the American public just how difficult it was going

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to be to win the Vietnam War. Shortly thereafter, President Lyndon B. Johnson announced that he would not seek re-election that November. A week after that, the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated, followed seven weeks later by the assassination of Bobby Kennedy. The Democratic National Convention in Chicago was accompanied by riots and student protests, which led to brutal and repeated clashes between protesters and the Chicago police department that were broadcast on national television. The protests and demonstrations happening all over the country put the deep cultural divide in America on full display. While we can remain grateful that there were no political assassinations on the scale of King and Kennedy this year, there are parallels to be drawn. Between the Black Lives Matter movement, the Standing Rock protest and the election of Donald J. Trump as the 45th President of the United States, it’s obvious that the American public is once again deeply, deeply divided. Add in the Brexit vote and it becomes obvious that the problem isn’t an isolated American one. Suddenly the ideas of race war, class war, even war between the sexes don’t seem quite as far fetched as they used to be. I hesitate to use the word “war” in these instances, but there are times when our differences feel that pronounced. Ask the African American community how they feel about law enforcement. Ask law enforcement about the realities of trying to keep the peace in our cities. Ask the people of Flint, Michigan if they think the government actually cares about them. Ask rural Americans if they feel connected to urban Americans, or if they feel like their voice even matters anymore. Ask women if justice was served in the Brock Turner case. Ask a black man that question. Look at the North Carolina bathroom law. Look at the reactions to the Army Corps of engineers denying an easement for the Dakota Access Pipeline. Trust of each other is in short supply. We live in times of strong convictions and opposing values. The gap has all of us a little bit shaken. So, is that it? Do we just dismiss 2016 as a bad year? Do we label it as “The Beginning of the End?” My friend Renee Brown is 23 years old. In her role as the editorial assistant for both the Northfield News and the Faribault Daily News, she is an indispensable member of the Adams Publishing Group family. She’s also a frequent contributor to this magazine and someone whose viewpoint I’ve come to respect and even rely on. So I asked her, as a Millennial, to speak for her entire generation and tell me if there was anything good that could be taken away from 2016. “Well, it’s been a shit year,” she said bluntly. “It feels like every-

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thing has become very random and disappointing. Given all the technology and the ability we have to make change, this is the change we’ve made?” But at the same time she added this: “I will say there is a stronger feeling of solidarity among people my age than I’ve ever seen before. And it doesn’t feel like it’s going away. “Also, there were some awesome memes this year.” And folks, that’s where I think we can create a little optimism. In times of hopelessness, hope has to be found in the green chutes. Hope can be found in the new plants that will bloom before we know it. We can find our hope in the generation that the rest of the world loves to berate. Kollibri terre Sonnenblume, an old friend of mine from college, published an article in Counterpunch earlier this year, making the case that we should probably just put the Millennial generation in charge right now. He holds that we of Generation X have done nothing to fix the problems we’ve either inherited or created ourselves; the cynical slackers of our youth have grown up and done very little to affect the world. The Millennials, however, are, among other things, the best educated, most globally aware, and least socially biased generation in history. He’s not wrong. We criticize Millennials for being disengaged. So, what was the Feel the Bern movement? Who fueled that? We criticize them because they’re always staring at their phones. But what are

they doing on those phones? They’re communicating, which is more than I can say for a lot of us in our forties and over. The Millennial generation was confronted with reality and turmoil at a young age. They saw 9/11 as little kids. They moved with their parents out of what was supposed to be their lifelong family home and learned the word “foreclosure” at far too young an age. We criticize them for not engaging with us? What have we done to earn their trust? They’ve learned from our mistakes the hard way and have a lot to say about that. The next generation is getting it together. In the next election cycle the oldest among them will be eligible to run for the Senate,

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most will be old enough to run for Congress and they’ll all be old enough to vote. They have already taken leadership roles in the world of art and culture. To them 2016 isn’t the beginning of the end. It’s the beginning of the beginning. It’s a time of awakening. So, there’s hope. And before I sign off, I want to point out that some good things happened in 2016. The American musical made a huge comeback with the cultural phenomenon that is Hamilton. Tatiana Maslany became the most deserving Emmy winner of my lifetime. McDonalds expanded the Breakfast Anytime menu. Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize for Literature. Harriet Tubman’s face will soon appear on the $20 bill. The Chicago Cubs won the World Series. So, you might be concerned for the direction in which the world is headed, and it might feel like we took a step backwards in 2016. The world has been through periods like this before. Even 1968 became 1969, bringing us events like Woodstock and the moon landing. Even if things look like they’ll get worse, nature has a way of balancing things out. My writers didn’t want to take this assignment because many of them are pessimistic about the state of the world. I’ll say it bluntly: 2016 sucked. But there is hope. There is always hope. Happy New Year, SoMinn. Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@ southernminnscene.com.

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In Memoriam

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A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c a l e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & C l i c k + A d d a n E v ent

Pat Harrington Jr.

Alan Rickman

Paul Kantner

August 13, 1929-January 6, 2016

February 21, 1946-January 14, 2016

March 17, 1941-January 28, 2016

By Rich Larson and Daniel G. Moir editor@southernminnscene.com

Dan: The second 70’s sitcom death within a week. Schneider was the building superintendent from One Day at a Time. For me, probably the funniest character on the show. His 1984 Emmy award for the role was well deserved.

o you call celebrity deaths a trend? I hope not, but it sure happened a lot in 2016. Maybe it’s a function of our own middleagedness, but it seemed like every time we turned around this year, someone we had heard of, someone we had cheered (or in some cases jeered), someone of whom we were fans had passed away. If this list it seems to be a little bit excessive, that’s because we simply wanted to illustrate just how many famous names have left us in the past twelve months. From obvious, and stunning names like Prince and Bowie, to more expected ones like Ali and Castro, to a few you may find pretty obscure, we want to take the time to honor those we lost this year. We may be a bit tongue-in-cheek with some of the honorees, but everyone who made this list is someone who deserves our respect and a fond farewell. To all here, thank you for the memories.

Rich: I’d forgotten that he died. Jesus. I loved Schneider. I like to think that he and Ann Romano were having a little thing that the cameras never caught.

Dan: Hans Gruber was one of my all-time favourite movie villains. Rickman had the perfect voice for him, exacting and precise. He brought his characters alive from the inside out, giving them a nuanced depth that is a rare find. On a side note, the Brendan Frazier/Adam Sandler/Steve Buscemi movie Airheads uses the building across from Die Hard’s Nakatomi Plaza as its setting. To this day, every time I watch Airheads I look to see if Alan Rickman is somewhere in the crowd as Gruber. I like to think that he is.

Dan: A true fixture and leader of the San Francisco “Psychedelic Scene” Kantner, along with Marty Balin, formed the Jefferson Airplane/Jefferson Starship juggernaut in 1965. Members like Balin, Grace Slick, Jorma Kaukonen, hell and even Mickey Thomas seemed to gain greater respect than Kantner ever did, but as messy as the whole Jefferson saga was, none of it, including much of the San Fran scene, would have ever happened without him.

D Lemmy Kilmeister

December 24, 1945-December 28-2015 Rich: Perhaps the only person on Earth who could rival Keith Richards’ rock & roll tenacity. I knew the leader of Motörhead would die one day, I just thought it would be at the end of time. Dan: Considering recent election results and the over all climate of the country, some may say we might be there right now. Lemmy was a one word living definition of heavy.

Beth Howland May 28, 1941-Decenber 31, 2015 Dan: Perhaps not the brightest bulb at Mel’s Diner on the 70’s TV sitcom, Alice Howland certainly brought a sense of fun to the proceedings. Like music, the 70’s sitcoms took a number of hits in this year’s deadpool. Rich: R.I.P. sweet “dingy.”

Robert Stigwood April 16, 1934-January 4, 2016 Rich: Nobody made more money off of disco than Robert Stigwood, and that includes cocaine dealers. I will remember this record impresario as an old, bald, white dude with on open shirt, and lots of chains around his neck dancing at Studio 54. He was kind of gross. Also he did that whole Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band movie with Peter Frampton and the Bee-Gee’s.

Otis Clay February 8, 1942-January 8, 2016 Rich: One of the greatest soul singers of all time. He could play blues, R&B, and gospel. Most people know him from “Tryin’ to Live My Life Without You,” but his body of work encompassed so much more than that. Somehow fitting that his death on January 8 was overshadowed by someone else two days later. Dan: I saw Clay play the Dakota in Minneapolis about 10 years ago. An INCREDIBLY soulful and honest singer. His “Walk A Mile In My Shoes” is well worth anyone’s time and attention.

David Bowie January 8, 1947-January 10, 2016 Dan: The shock of his passing 2 days after the release of Blackstar (and his 69th Birthday) was overwhelming. I began listening to the album on that Friday and spent the weekend with it, marveling at how daring and futuristic it sounded. When my wife, Rebekah, woke me Monday morning with the news that he died I felt the loss in a profoundly personal way. A complete artist whose very life was his artistic statement. Rich: We’re sitting here talking about our favorite Bowie songs. I think Ziggy Stardust is one of the greatest albums of all time, and “Heroes” is one of my favorite songs. Dan leans to “Changes,” quoting: “And these children that you spit on as they try to change their world are immune to your consultations. They’re quite aware of what they’re going through.” Those words are as impactful today, and as meaningful to the Millennial generation as they were 45 years ago to the Baby Boomers.

Lawrence Phillips May 12, 1975-January 13, 2016 Rich: In an age where coddled sports stars are put on undeserving pedestals and heralded for all the wrong reasons, Phillips is the poster-child. A football prodigy since his early days of high school, Phillips was a star running back at the University of Nebraska and was given opportunity after opportunity to be a star in the NFL. Instead, he beat his girlfriend, reportedly dragging her down flights of stairs by her hair. He eventually went to prison on multiple felony charges. He allegedly murdered his cellmate last year, and was found hanging in his cell in January. Dan: Was O.J. Simpson his role model growing up?

Rich: I love Alan Rickman. He was a true British thespian from the school of Olivier, Gielgud and Irons. I praise him. Yippee-yi-ki-yay, Professor Snape.

Dan Haggerty November 19, 1952-January 15, 2016 Rich: This guy was the face of Saturday afternoons for me in the late 1970’s. I’d watch Grizzly Adams in syndication on my little black and white television set in my bedroom. Also, my wife would still like to marry him (Adams, not Haggerty). Dan: The seventies really was a great time to be a kid. Grizzly Adams was a show about heart, friendship and had moments of great humour and fun. Haggerty gave Adams his heart. Somewhere, Ben the bear was waiting for him.

Glenn Frey November 6, 1948-January 18, 2016 Dan: Frey was always a difficult character in Rock & Roll for me. On one hand, a fantastic voice and songwriter, but also a giant pain in the ass. If former Eagle Don Felder is to be believed, Frey had a rule that all songs had to go through him before they could be recorded and used the saying “Add a word, take a third” to gain a piece of the copywriting and subsequent songwriting royalties. His death this year marked the end of one America’s greatest Flying Burrito Brothers Tribute Bands. Rich: Dan, you ignorant slut. Yes, he could be a jerk, but I am an unabashed fan of the man’s music: “Take it Easy,” “Already Gone,” “Lyin’ Eyes,” “Heartache Tonight.” He doesn’t get enough credit for the guitar solo on “I Can’t Tell You Why.” This was where I began to refer to 2016 as “The Year the Music Died.”

Rich: Famous as much for his huge personality as his musicianship, he really was an underrated guitarist. You’ll have to dig for this, but check out the version of Crosby, Stills & Nash’s “Guinevere” that he plays on. It’s just beautiful. (We should also mention that Signe Anderson, the original female vocalist of Jefferson Airplane coincidentally died the very same day as Kantner).

Maurice White December 19, 1941-February 3, 2016 Rich: When you are the founding member of Earth, Wind and Fire, your legacy is set. White was an amazing songwriter, producer and arranger. We get to hear those horns on “September” because of him. Dan: Maurice White WAS EW&F as far as I’m concerned. I have been a fan of Funk, R&B and Soul for as long as I can remember. “Let’s Groove” remains an indispensible classic from my Junior High years. Damn, what a tasty groove! For the funk world, the passing of White was simply enormous. It takes a major talent to assemble and lead a band that defined the word “tight.”

Antonin Scalia March 11, 1936-February 12/13, 2016 Dan: Here I am going to follow the guidance of “If you can’t say something nice about someone, it is just better to say nothing at all.” Rich: I will say this about the man: he and Ruth Bader Ginsburg had a very close friendship. If The Notorious RBG thinks you’re okay, I’ll take that as a good endorsement. It doesn’t quite balance out Citizens United, but still…

Viola Beach Various-February 13, 2016

Rich: After years of joking that he was still alive (one of the greatest bits on David Letterman’s show was the night they cut to Abe Vigoda in the control room so he could announce “I’m not dead”), the grim reaper caught up with Abe this year. All I could think of when I heard he’d died was the scene in The Godfather where he, as the traitor Tessio, looks at Robert Duvall (who, coincidentally is still not dead) and asks “You think you could get me off? For old time’s sake?”

Dan: The four members of the indie band ranging in age from 20-33 and their manager were killed in a late night accident in Sweden when their vehicle plunged off a bridge and into a canal hours after their first gig outside of their native England. A band that was apparently on the rise was cut down before ever achieving their full potential. The single that had just been released at the time of the accident, “Boys That Sing,” sadly held the lines “And she said that together we could take on the world/And she told me that I’ll never find another girl like her.” Their posthumous debut album debuted at #1 on the British chart upon release in August.

Dan: “Can’t do it, Fish.”

Rich: What a tragic, tragic story. Only in in 2016.

Abe Vigoda February 24, 1921-January 26, 2016

Dan: If nothing else, he did get Steve Martin to do “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” in that movie.

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| JANUARY 2017

Denise “Vanity” Matthews

Nancy Reagan

Frank Sinatra, Jr.

Joe Garagiola

January 4, 1959-February 15, 2016

July 6, 1921-March 6, 2016

January 10, 1944-March 16, 2016

February 12, 1926-March 23, 2016

Dan: Former First Lady Nancy Reagan can be remembered as much for her “Just Say No” campaign and using an Astrologist for advice as well as the sense of style and grace she brought to the White House. Whatever a person’s feeling about her, one thing is unarguable-her complete dedication to her husband, Ronald Reagan. One of the most important advocates for research on Alzheimer’s disease to be found, her support of embryonic stem cell research will have long lasting impact for years to come.

Rich: I’ve just always felt sorry for Frank Sinatra, Jr. It was probably hard enough to be Frank Sinatra’s son, but then to announce that to the world just by saying your name only compounded things. The only thing to say about him is that he was an accomplished bandleader and musician in his own right, but because of his name, he’ll always be compared to the greatest singer of all time.

Rich: I kind of feel bad about Joe Garagiola. When I was a kid, I remember him from being the happy, fun-loving commentator on national baseball broadcasts and on the Hollywood Squares. Then I read a book about Jackie Robinson that said he, as a member of the St. Louis Cardinals, was one of the baseball players who objected to playing with a black man, so I kind of wrote him off as a racist. Of course, people are allowed to evolve and come around, and Garagiola did that (in short order, I might add). People are complicated, and nobody can or should be defined as just one thing.

Rich: Vanity. Forever Prince’s opening act. Dan: Vanity always seemed to embody a very rough life. After minor success as the “leader” of Vanity 6, she famously melted down after opting out of Purple Rain to pursue a difficult life of heavy addiction that caused so much harm to her kidneys that it would eventually end her life. Years later, she would work as an evangelist and attempt to turn her life around, but the damage had already been done. A sad, cautionary tale.

Harper Lee April 28, 1926-February 19, 2016 Dan: I always appreciated that after writing her first book, To Kill A Mockingbird, she just decided to quit writing. When your debut wins the Pulitzer and is renown throughout literature as a true classic where else do you go? Anything else coming afterwards would just mar the brilliance of the work. It is one thing to go out on top, it is an altogether other thing to start there as well. Rich: I haven’t read Go Set A Watchman (Lee’s first novel, which was published against her wishes in 2015), and from everything I’ve heard, I don’t care to. Atticus Finch is one of the truly great, unimpeachable heroes of American literature, and I prefer to leave him that way. To Kill A Mockingbird is one hell of a legacy.

George Kennedy February 18, 1925-February 28, 2016 Rich: Many of you are looking at this name and thinking, “Who?” Well, if you’ve ever seen Paul Newman’s classic film Cool Hand Luke, then you know George Kennedy. He’s the guy who can’t get over “Lucille,” the girl washing the car in front of the chain gang. Dan: Dude did win an Oscar for Cool Hand Luke, so you gotta respect that. He was also the only actor to appear in all the Airport movies as well as portraying Leslie Nielsen’s superior in the Naked Gun series. Now, that is range.

Bud Collins

Rich: She sort of stands in my mind as the archetypical first lady. Not as outspoken or opinionated as Eleanor Roosevelt or Hillary Clinton, but far more involved and nowhere near as demure as Pat Nixon or Rosalyn Carter, Nancy Reagan had more clandestine talent than she wanted us to see. That image of her leaning against her husband’s casket is really one of the sweetest pictures I’ve ever seen. Say what you will about their politics; that was a couple that was truly devoted to each other.

George Martin January 3, 1926-March 8, 2016 Rich: Some think of him as one of the greatest music producers ever. Others think of him as a producer who oversaw the recording of some of the greatest music ever. He was probably both. As producer of the Beatles’ music (the only album he isn’t credited on is Let it Be), Martin contributed as much to the Beatles’ sound as John Lennon and Paul McCartney. It’s okay to think that he never did quite so well again after that, but he did work right up until the end of his life with a list of artists that included Jeff Beck, Elton John and Cheap Trick. Dan: As far as I am concerned, George Martin is the only person who could ever be viewed as the fifth member of the Beatles. He ability to coax, and encourage, the innovation and creativity of the Fab Four set the standard that everyone who has dared involvement in the recorded arts must compare to. His contribution to the music world simply cannot be understated.

June 17, 1929-March 4, 2016

Keith Emerson

Rich: He was that world’s nerdiest sportswriter, who always wore that goofy bow tie. But watching Wimbledon will never be the same without him.

November 2, 1944-March 11, 2016

Dan: It should also be added that he, along with Janet Hopps, won the U.S. Indoor mixed doubles championship in 1961. You have to appreciate someone who can not only talk the talk, but walk it as well.

Dan: Emerson was instrumental in helping to bridge the gap between Classical and Rock Music. The keyboardist brought a new sensibility to pieces like Modest Mussorgsky’s “Pictures at an Exhibition” and Aaron Copeland’s “Fanfare for the Common Man” earning respect for the genre. A prodigious talent. Rich: I’ve never been a huge fan of Emerson, Lake & Palmer (or really of the whole “progressive/art rock genre” as a whole), but there is no denying Emerson’s talent or his contributions to music. He had suffered nerve damage to his hands and couldn’t really play anymore, which led to serious depression problems. A sad ending for a giant in his field.

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Dan: Dino had a son named Dean Martin, Jr. It is a shame that Sammy didn’t have a junior, too. Maybe the three of them could have put an act together that might have made things easier for all. That being said, I am not sure that the name Sammy Davis, Jr. Jr. would have worked…

Phife Dawg (Malik Taylor) November 20, 1970-March 22, 2016 Dan: The “Five Foot Assassin” of A Tribe Called Quest was as integral to the Hip-Hop legends sound as Q-tip. The recently released “We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service” album after an 18-year absence stands as his last word and testament and is one of the best albums you will find this year. Period. Rich: I can’t even pretend to write anything intelligent about this guy, except to say that since he died I’ve actually heard some of his music, and it makes me realize I really need to pay more attention to hip-hop. Dan: You really do. Start with “Buggin’ Out” from Tribe’s Low End Theory album. A must.

Rob Ford May 28, 1969-March 22, 2016 Rich: Quick, how many mayors of Toronto can you name? I’m sure he accomplished some great things for his city while he was in office, but the only things I know about him were the fact that he was a big, big man and that he liked to smoke crack. Rob Ford was to mayors what Chris Farley was to comedy. Dan: My favourite bit of his was running into a camera (and the live TV expletive that followed) and indicating that he has “more than enough to eat at home” when questioned by the media.

Ken Howard March 28, 1944-March 23, 2016 Dan: The White Shadow was another one of those great Seventies shows that was must see TV growing up among “Generation X” viewers. As former NBA player and now High School Coach Ken Reeves, Howard starred in this show that truly broke ground for their realistic portrayals of high school life then seen previously, addressing subjects from sexual orientation to STDs. Howard was always believable and just the type of coach you imagined wanting both on and off the court. Rich: The only thing I remember about The White Shadow is there was a character named Bologna or Macaroni or something. I do know that Ken Howard was a great stage actor, however. He also was really good on an episode of The West Wing when he played a federal judge being considered for the Supreme Court.

Dan: While he may never have gotten into the Hall of Fame, the St. Louis Catcher did have a very impressive career as a NBC sportscaster and knew how to add insightful commentary on a game. How many people can sit next to Vin Scully and do that well?

Garry Schandling November 29, 1949-March 24, 2016 Dan: An offbeat comedian to be sure. His ability and desire to “break the fourth wall” was both inspiring and innovative on “It’s Garry Schandling’s Show” was innovative and funny as hell. His work on HBO’s “The Larry Sanders Show” took on the backstage of late night network TV and remains one of the funniest, and most direct parodies to be found anywhere. A truly inspired and fearless comedic voice. Rich: I wasn’t ever really a fan of his stand-up work, but I thought, and still do to this day, that The Larry Sanders Show was one of the funniest shows ever. The plastic surgery he had later in life was regrettable, but it somehow played into his image as a self-conscious narcissist, so it suited him. He was a funny man.

Merle Haggard April 6, 1937-April 6, 2016 Rich: Another guy I sort of had to come around on. For the longest time, I only knew Merle Haggard by “Okie From Muskogee,” and assumed he was just another redneck who wasn’t worth my attention. I now think of that as wasted time. Haggard was sincere when he wrote that song, I’m sure, but he wrote so much other incredible music (“Silver Wings,” “If We Make it Through December,” “Just Sit Here and Drink”) that I should have been listening to long before I did. Along with Buck Owens, Haggard was famous for developing the “Bakersfield Sound,” which later just became known as Honky Tonk. And god that man could sing. The one line he sings on “Pancho & Lefty” with Willie Nelson makes the song a classic. You should also check out his last album with Willie, Django & Jimmie, if for no other reason than it’s fun to hear a couple septuagenarians sing about how much they like to smoke weed. By the time he died, Merle Haggard was my favorite singer. He was cantankerous, funny, mean, warm and unbelievably talented. He will be missed. Dan: County Music has always been filled with the proudly unapologetic “Redneck Rebel” and Haggard was the true standard bearer for the genre. There is something defiantly American in his approach and love it or hate it, you must give him a nod across the barroom for it. He may not have invented the country drinking song, but he sure as hell made it a whole lot better.

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Prince Rogers Nelson

Muhammad Ali

Jo Cox

Dr. Ralph Stanley

June 7, 1958-April 21, 2016

January 17, 1942-June 3, 2016

June 22, 1974-June 16, 2016

February 25, 1927-June 23, 2016

Dan: To say that Prince’s unexpected death was a complete shock is to clearly understate the obvious. There has never been a musician that made music sound so completely effortless. His ONLY comparable rival in music is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. He made music that was simple, complex, shocking, inviting, dark and bright. To hear him solo on guitar was to listen to the sound of the sky opening up and a new world of ideas open up. There will NEVER be another one like him in any of our lifetimes.

Dan: 61 Total Heavyweight Fights, 56 Wins with 37 by Knockouts. The former Cassius Clay was the epitome of the word “Champion.” Boisterous and arrogant, stylish and charming, he was the very face of the sport. His uncompromising stance and overt celebration of his cultural background sets him apart as both an athlete and activist. It is his unwavering nature handling Parkinson’s disease in the last 32 years of his life show a champion who defining the word “courage.”

Rich: A harbinger of the Great Political Meltdown of 2016. Jo Cox was a member of British Parliament who was a rising star in the Labour Party. A strong opponent to Brexit, she was assassinated a week before the referendum went to the polls, by a man with ties to “far-right” and Neo Nazi factions.

Rich: Or, it could be that he sacrificed the prime years of his career to take a stand by refusing induction into the US Army. While many at the time called him a coward who simply didn’t want to fight in Vietnam, Ali was a man of deep conviction and principles. Had he joined the army, he would have had a two year stint doing the same kind of public relations work that Elvis Presley did when he was drafted, then would have been free to resume his boxing career and pick up just where he left off. Instead, he was stripped of his titles, charged with draft evasion and, upon his conviction, banned from boxing. His appeals went all the way to the United States Supreme Court. The whole thing took four years out of the middle of his career and cost him untold sums of money. When the call him the Greatest of All Time, they aren’t just talking about Ali as a boxer. They’re talking about Ali as a man.

Prince Be (Attrell Cordes, Jr.)

Rich: He wasn’t really a PhD, that was an honorary title that had been bestowed upon him, but he may as well have been. With the possible exception of Bill Monroe, nobody was more responsible for the development and popularity of Bluegrass than Ralph Stanley. His unique banjo picking style is now taught by music teachers all over the world and it’s a pretty good bet nobody outside the states of Kentucky and Virginia would have ever heard “Man of Constant Sorrow” had Stanley’s father not sung it around the house when he was a boy.

Rich: Well, this was a body blow. I received an email alert from the AP that morning that authorities were on the scene at Paisley Park because someone there had died, and I just knew. I remember deciding right then and there that he would be on the cover of the next issue, and then not getting anything else done the rest of the day. In a year marked by shock and disappointment, April 21 will stand as a high water mark.

Terry Redlin July 11, 1937 – April 24, 2016 Rich: He was the most prominent painter of wildlife in the Upper Midwest since Les Kouba, and he makes this list because I grew up surrounded by his work. My dad was a great fan of his, and so the walls in my house and in his office were decorated with Redlin’s portrayals of mighty combines kicking up ring necked pheasants. There is a museum dedicated to his work in his hometown of Watertown, South Dakota (just across the Minnesota border). If you’re ever out that way, you should visit it. Dan: I’ve never heard of him. Remember, I was born in Southern California. What’s a pheasant?

Morley Safer November 8, 1931-May 19, 2016 Dan: Safer was the longest tenured reporter of CBS’ “60 Minutes” retiring just one week before his death. A journalist will seek truth regardless of where it will lead. In 1983, Safer worked on the story of Lenell Geter and found racial biases and factual inconsistencies in the conviction of the African American Geter that let to his eventual release from his life sentence in a Texas prison for robbery. Safer gave evidence that “the truth will set you free.” Rich: As a journalist I have great respect for Morley Safer. He was a fearless war correspondent for CBS in Vietnam and contributed mightily to the sterling reputation of 60 Minutes. You want further proof of his journalistic acumen? Look at that face. Morley Safer was an ugly dude, yet CBS put him on television for 40 years. That couldn’t happen today.

Gordie Howe March 31, 1928-June 10, 2016 Rich: He was Mr. Hockey. I never got to see him play, but by all accounts he was the perfect player. He could skate, he was fast and he was strong. He scored more goals than anyone before him but was also a fierce defender and competitor – the “Gordie Howe Hat Trick” is a goal, an assist and a fight in one game. The man played professionally from 1946-1980, and held all the significant offensive records in the NHL (Most Goals, Most Assists, Most Points) before some guy named Gretzky came along. And when he died, Gretzky called him the greatest hockey player ever.

Dan: This was just sick. This was a tragic event that resonated far beyond England’s shores.

May 15, 1970-June 17, 2016 Dan: With P.M. Dawn, Prince Be brought a sense of spirituality to Hip-Hop in the early Nineties that had previously eluded the genre. Songs like “Set Adrift On Memory Bliss” may have first gained attention to the group through the use of a Spandau Ballet sample, but it is in daring songs like “Being So Not For You (I Had No Right)” that the group imagines a more questioning relationship between God and creation. This was not simple stuff by any stretch. Prince Be continued to explore this relationship throughout the four albums created by the act ranging from humour of “Hale-Bopp Regurgitation” (“I can’t remember inventing the wheel, but I remember making Styrofoam “) to the heartfelt “Why God Loves You.” He also was able to pull samples from the most unlikely of sources. There would be more than just a few Billy Joel fans surprised to discover P.M. Dawn’s sample of “4 O’ Clock in the Morning” by his pre-fame group The Hassles for the song “My Own Personal Gravity.” Prince Be was a true boundary pusher. Rich: P.M. Dawn was a good band. I’ve never been much of a hip-hop guy – to my own detriment – but I knew when I heard bands like P.M. Dawn and Arrested Development in the early 90’s that it had matured into a legitimate art form. To many, that had been apparent years before, but I was a middle-class, midwest white kid in Reagan’s America so it took me a little longer.

Anton Yelchin

Dan: I thought he played basketball. Rich: Oh for god’s sake… Dan: Again, I was born in Southern California.

Christina Grimmie March 12, 1994-June 11, 2016 Rich: Christina Grimmie had been a contestant on The Voice, finishing in third place during the 2014 season. She was murdered during a “meet & greet” event after a show she played in Florida. She was young, beautiful and full of talent. What a terrible waste. Dan: I will confess to being nothing more than an occasional viewer of the show, but it was obvious that she had that mysterious “it” thing about her. An unexplainable loss. Simply unexplainable. This made the reality of the contest a little too real.

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March 11, 1989-June 19, 2016 Dan: Probably best known as Chekov from the reboot of the Star Trek series, Yelchin had the weirdest death of 2016. A freak car accident led to his friends finding the actor pinned between his Jeep Grand Cherokee and a brick pillar outside his house. A very strange end for a promising career. Rich: This just broke my heart when it happened. He was easily the most adorable part of the Star Trek reboot. I loved the way he played the energetic – almost manic – Chekov. Yelchin also played the titular character in a very underrated movie called Charlie Bartlett. This freak accident is just the perfect example of why people want to tell 2016 to fuck off.

Dan: Without Stanley, they would have never heard of either Keith Whitley or Ricky Skaggs who met the banjo player as teenagers and were then hired to be part of his band, The Clinch Mountain Boys. Stanley had arrived late to one of his shows and found the duo keeping the audience entertained while waiting for the headlining act.

Bernie Worrell April 19, 1944-June 24, 2016 Dan: Probably one of the most influential sidemen in the history of all of funk. Worrell’s keyboard was part of the foundation of Parliament/Funkadelic’s sound. He also contributed to the Talking Head’s Pop breakthrough Speaking In Tongues and Stop Making Sense albums. Always a true innovator, Worrell famously was the second person to receive a Moog synthesizer and put it to good use. Rich: If you watch the excellent Talking Heads concert movie Stop Making Sense, you can’t miss him. He seems to be having more fun on stage than anybody else. Bernie was the go-to sideman for keyboards in the 80’s and 90’s, so you can’t pigeonhole him as just a funk player. With that said, there are very few people who ever made my white ass want to dance more than Bernie did.

Pat Summit June 14, 1952-June 28, 2016 Rich: It’s hard to qualify Pat Summit’s career without sounding a little bit sexist, because most of the people we can compare her to are men. In the realm of coaching, she can only be compared to names like John Wooden, Bear Bryant and Red Auerbach. It’s a real shame, because few people ever did more for feminism in a non-activist or non-political role than Pat Summit. She was the head coach of the University of Tennessee Lady Volunteers from 1974-2012, amassing a 1,098 wins and bringing home eight National Championships. She was the prototypical championship coach – tough, brilliant, motivating and egotistical as hell. Her players, every last one of them, would walk through walls for her. When she died every coach you’ve ever heard of, and hundreds more that you haven’t, all agreed the she set the gold standard for coaching in the NCAA. Dan: With only 208 career coaching losses, she had a .841 winning percentage. IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

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Scotty Moore

Rob Wasserman

Garry Marshall

December 27, 1931-June 28, 2016

April 1, 1952-June 29, 2016

November 13, 1934-July 19, 2016

Dan: Wasserman literally played with just about everybody. You can find his bass on albums from Jerry Garcia to Neil Young to Ani di Franco to Jackson Browne and Brian Wilson. Check the linear notes to a couple of albums in your collection. I bet you will find his name on some of them.

Rich: It’s because of Garry Marshall that my generation grew up thinking that New York accents were common in Milwaukee. Marshall created, among other hit TV shows, Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley. Why Arthur Fonzarelli and Laverne DeFazio sounded like they grew up in Queens instead of on the shores of Lake Michigan, I will never know, but they were two iconic characters of 1970’s television. Marshall (whose sister Penny played Laverne) had an incredible knack for creating situation comedies without a lot of situation. Yes, both Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley were both set in the 50’s, but both shows were so much more about solid, well created characters and great scripts. That is Marshall’s great legacy.

Dan: Truly an indispensible part of the origins of Rock & Roll, it was Moore’s Gibson ES-295 guitar that kick started Elvis Presley’s take of Arthur Crudup’s “That’s Alright Mama” the evening of July 5, 1954. If this was Moore’s only recording his place in music history would be secure, but he went on to introduce the concept of the simple “Power Chord” (using only the root note and the 5th note in a musical scale) to music through his playing on “Jailhouse Rock.” This chord style is part of any Guitarist very first lesson and is more than just a musical shortcut; it is THE defining sound of Rock Music. Rich: When you can point to one guy and say “Elvis Presley, Gram Parsons and Emmylou Harris all owe their career, in some form or another, to him” that’s huge in and of itself. But this is the guy who is one of the main architects of rock ‘n’ roll. If you’re just hearing of him for the first time, go look him up.

James David “Buddy” Ryan February 17, 1931-June 28, 2016 Rich: Let’s be honest, he wasn’t the most charming fellow there ever was, but nobody could coach a defensive football team better than Buddy Ryan. He was the defensive coordinator for the 1985 Chicago Bears, considered the greatest defense in the history of the NFL, and he unleashed William “The Refrigerator” Perry on the world. Ryan could take some credit for the development of players like Reggie White, Jerome Brown, Alan Page, Carl Eller (yes, he was defensive coordinator for the Vikings in 1976 and ’77), and passed enough of his acumen down to his sons Rex and Rob to have influence on the fearsome Baltimore Ravens defense of years past as well. Ryan was a cantankerous crank who publicly called Mike Ditka an asshole as soon as he became head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles and once, while coaching the defense for the Houston Oilers, tried to punch the team’s offensive coordinator on the sideline during a game. My favorite Buddy Ryan story, though is the telegram he sent to Jerry Burns the day Burns was named head coach of the Vikings. It read simply, “Congratulations, you little raisin.” Dan: I am just gonna say this. It is a good thing Ryan wasn’t involved in the song “The Superbowl Shuffle” in 1985. The song was actually nominated for a Grammy in the best R&B performance by a duo or group. Prince and the Revolution, thankfully won that award for “Kiss.” If Ryan was involved, he may have gone over and kicked the Purple One’s ass. There could have been frills and lavender everywhere.

Rich: I’m a hippie at heart, and I love the jammy bluegrass music he played on with Jerry Garcia and David Grisman. But he also played with Lou Reed, contributing mightily to the heavy sound of Reed’s career re-energizing New York album. He was just one of those guys that really talented people want to have around them.

Elie Wiesel September 30, 1928-July 2, 2016 Dan: Everyone dies. That is just a simple, sad fact. I always knew that Wiesel, who died at the age of 87 would one day pass but having the brilliant author of Night about his experience in Nazi concentration camps during the height of the Holocaust during this particular year is chilling. His is an honest voice that will highlight the importance of peace and social justice forever. “We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” Thanks, Ellie. I will remember that one… Rich: I read Night while on vacation in Florida during my freshman year in college for a religion class. I bumped into my professor when we came back and he asked how my spring break had been. “Great,” I said, “except for the day I spent reading Night.” I don’t think there is a more compelling (and concise) portrayal of the Holocaust than Night. The way he describes the ride in that boxcar will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Fred Tomlinson December 18, 1927-July 17, 2016 Dan: Not just the leader of the singers who performed on Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Tomlinson was the author of “The Lumberjack Song.” I literally owe giant chunks of my College era prank phone call career to this man’s work. Rich: I hail this man for writing one of the greatest lyrics in the history of music: “I wish I was a girlie, just like my dear Papa!”

Wendell Anderson February 1, 1933-July 17, 2016 Rich: Minnesota landed on the map of America’s tourist attractions when Time Magazine put Governor Wendy Anderson on their cover holding a freshly caught Northern. Growing up, I was taught that Wendy was a bad guy for essentially having appointed himself to the United States Senate from the governor’s office to fill Walter Mondale’s seat when Mondale became Vice-President (I grew up in a very Republican household, and Wendy was pure DFL). Turns out he was a good guy with a ton of charisma who did great things for education in this state.

Dan: I also have a deep appreciation for the man’s work as a film director. This is the guy who not only gave us Beaches, Pretty Woman, and Frankie and Johnny, but probably one of my all time favourite movies, the sadly overlooked Nothing In Common that starred a young Tom Hanks and the great Jackie Gleason in his last role. Seriously, people don’t have New York accents in Milwaukee?

Dennis Green February 17, 1949-July 21, 2016 Rich: I don’t know. I might be the wrong guy to write about Dennis Green. His ascendancy to the Vikings’ head coaching job coincided with my graduation from college and subsequent immersion in the Purple Kool-Aid. I lived and died with Denny’s teams in the 1990’s. Every win was the greatest thing that ever happened. Every loss was an assault on my own self-esteem. I’ve never really gotten over the 1998 season and the dashed dreams of a 15-1 football team with the highest scoring offense in NFL history (to that point) crumbling before my eyes in the second half of the NFC Championship Game. Regardless, Dennis Green was easily the most charismatic sports personality we’ve ever had in the Twin Cities who didn’t play baseball. He was the drum playing, jazz loving offensive guru who showed Vikings fans that a coach could have personality and still win. Say what you will about Denny, and I have a lot of opinions, he was one-of-a-kind. Dan: I was at that NFC Championship loss against the Atlanta Falcons (who then went on to get it handed to them for most of the game in their 34-19 loss to Denver, only scoring 13 points in the last quarter). My chief memory of the event was leaving the Metrodome in complete shocked silence and going to the men’s bathroom and seeing a guy leaning over the trough peeing and loudly crying at the same time. Not a pretty sight. Neither was the abysmal coaching decisions in that game’s second half. I was a HUGE Vikings fan at that time and was mad as hell.

Miss Cleo (Youree Dell Harris) August 12, 1962-July 26, 2016 Dan: I am really surprised that she wasn’t able to see this one coming. A true scam artist of the highest degree. Rich: Did you ever see Reality Bites? There’s a scene in that movie where Winona Ryder calls a Jamaican TV psychic because her life has hit rock bottom and just wants to have a friend. It’s a perfect illustration of how pathetic things had gotten for her, and really all that needs to be said for Miss Cleo.

Kenny Baker August 24, 1934-August 13, 2016 Dan: Star Wars was kind of like Beatlemania for those of us in Generation X. It is the touchstone of our youth. Baker’s work as the irrepressible R2-D2 made him a household name as far as I was concerned. I learned, read, and watched everything I could that possible related to the 1977 classic and when Baker died at the age of 81, it felt like an important link to my childhood had been broken. Rich: When The Force Awakens came out last year, I was incredibly disappointed to learn that Kenny Baker and Anthony Daniels (who plays C3-PO) never liked each other, and in fact, really couldn’t stand to be in the same room with each other. It makes me sad to think that C3-PO wouldn’t be bummed out that R2-D2 died.

Fyvush Finkel October 9, 1922-August 14, 2016 Rich: Um, Fyvush makes this list because his name is fun to say. Yes, he was on moderate hit tv shows like Picket Fences and Boston Public, but he’s most memorable for that awesome name. He was the prototypical New York Jewish actor from a time when guys like Henny Youngman and Milton Berle would regularly play at resorts in the Catskills. Just say the name – Fyvush Finkel. Isn’t that fun? Dan: Fyvush Finkel, Fyvush Finkel, Fyvush Finkel, Fyvush Finkel, Fyvush Finkel. You say that 5 times fast… A pure joy. I am going to name my next dog Fyvush.

John McLaughlin March 29, 1927-August 16, 2016 Rich: John McLaughlin was best known for creating The McLaughlin Group, a syndicated political panel talk show that did not invent the genre (Meet the Press and Face the Nation predated that show by 25 years), but the hard hitting analysis and opinions of The McLaughlin Group created the template for entire networks like FOX News and MSNBC. Dan: He had a gruff and direct approach that was ripe for the picking in Dana Carvey’s impressions of him on Saturday Night Live. He truly did make news and discussions both entertaining and informative.

Dan: Hey dude, I’m from Southern California. I do get a tremendous kick that you refer to him as “Wendy” though.

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Toots Thielemans

W.P. Kinsella

Arnold Palmer

Pete Burns

April 29, 1922-August 22, 2016

May 25, 1935-September 16, 2016

September 10, 1929-September 25, 2016

August 5, 1959-October 23, 2016

Dan: Toots is one of my favourite jazz artists. He was an astounding harmonica player who established the instrument as legitimate jazz instrument. He played, and held his own, with Benny Goodman, Bill Evans, Dizzy Gillespie and Oscar Peterson. While he was Belgian, I tie his sound directly to what New York sounds like to me largely due to his enduring work on the theme from Sesame Street. True story-I saw Toots play at the Dakota around 2001 and I remember going into the bathroom and seeing him in there brushing his teeth before the show. An amazingly nice and funny man. Had a great conversation later on with him about jazz and my signed copy of Chez Toots remains one of my most prized possessions. Rich: I’ve known about Toots for years and years, mostly because he played on one of my favorite Billy Joel songs, “Leave A Tender Moment Alone,” and I’ve always been quite fond of him even if I didn’t go out of my way to listen to his work. I didn’t know that he was the guy who had played harmonica on Sesame Street until he passed away, and I just figured that’s why I liked him so much.

Dan: I cry my eyes out every single time I watch Field of Dreams. You ever have that happen?

Rich: You’re gonna write about Tea and Lemonade, aren’t you?

Rich: Nope. Never. Not one time. Except every time Kevin Costner says “Hey, Dad, wanna have a catch?” Jesus Christ.

Dan: When you think about golf, you think about Arnold Palmer. Think about it. The guy won 62 PGA Tournaments and 7 Major Championships during his career. He was a humble and plainspoken guy he helped to transform the sport during the television era from a game for the elites in society to one that was open to everyone, regardless of economic background. His “Sportscenter” Ad where he is shown in the ESPN cafeteria patiently mixing his signature drink of Iced Team and Lemonade while two correspondents make whispered observation of his skills remains one of the best clips you can find on You Tube. Yes, Rich, the Arnold Palmer drink is one of the best things that you can consume during the summer.

Edward Albee March 12, 1928-September 16, 2016 Rich: When you decide you’re going to become a writer and your parents practically disown you for it, so then you go on to win three Pulitzer Prizes, one of which is for a little play called Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? This is the truest definition of Charlie Sheen’s term “Winning.” Dan: Albee was another of those “required reading” guys from high school. He was a master of observation of the modern times and crafted emotionally uncomfortable scenes that that are as riveting as they are vibrantly written. Martha and George, just look what you started.

José Fernández July 31, 1992-September 25, 2016

Rich: This was an “Aw, man” moment, because I was such a huge fan of his. Gene Wilder always struck me as the sweetest guy in Hollywood. To you he might have been Willy Wonka, to others he was Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (“that’s Frahnken-steen”), but to me Gene Wilder will always be Skip Donahue, the hopelessly optimistic and pretty clueless friend of Richard Pryor who is framed for a bank-robbery and sent to prison. Wonka may have been his signature role, but Skip always struck me as someone very close to his true personality.

Dan: News of the Miami Marlins right-handed pitcher’s death on the last home game of the season circulated around Target Field throughout the game. This was one of the true “potential future legends” of the game after just 4 seasons. During that time he collected the 2013 National League Rookie of the Year and went to two All-Star games in 2013 and 2016. He owned a 38-17 career record with 589 Strikeouts and ERA of 2.58. His death in a boating accident, hitting a jetty in the Florida darkness after a night of heavy partying is as senseless and shocking as they come. One of the few times I have ever seen an entire sport engulfed in sadness.

Dan: I always appreciated the sense of off-beat weirdness that he brought to his roles. 1974’s turn as “The Waco Kid” in Blazing Saddles was dropdead hilarious. Along with Madeline Kahn, Wilder was one of Mel Brooks’ true comedic muses. His Willy Wonka was equally delightful and unsettling.

Rich: What a spectacular and tragic waste. This was a guy who had made it to the U.S. from Cuba and had become one of the best pitchers in baseball. Even more tragic, though, his girlfriend was pregnant with his first kid when he died. There is just nothing good about this.

Gene Wilder June 11, 1933-August 29, 2016

Phyllis Schlafly August 15, 1924-September 5, 2016 Dan: I never truly did understand her opposition to both feminism and the Equal Rights Amendment. There are actually quite a number of things in the Conservative Movement that I can grasp, and even agree with, but what appears to me to be opposition to one’s own self isn’t one of them. She was her generation’s Michele Bachmann as far as I’m concerned.

Rich: I married into an Arnold Palmer family. The Larson clan doesn’t play a lot of golf, but my father-in-law was a big, big fan of Arnie. The great thing about him was that he was never the most talented golfer in the world; he just worked harder than anyone else to be great. And he did it with a constant smile on his face. His legions of fans, Arnie’s Army, were drawn to him because he was just a regular guy who won Majors. If there is any one person who can be credited for bringing golf to the masses, it’s Arnold Palmer.

Shimon Peres August 2, 1923-September 28, 2016 Rich: Shimon Peres was a true man of peace. He served in the Israeli government for nearly 57 years as a member of the Knesset, in twelve different cabinets as (among other things) Minister of Defense and Foreign Minister. He was Prime Minister of Israel three different times and finally was President of his country from 2007-2014. Like many of his contemporaries, his political life was defined by conflict with the Arab world, and in his younger days, Peres had been a proponent of armed conflict with Israel’s Arab neighbors, but eventually decided that there had to be peace. His work on the Oslo Accords – the closest we’ve ever seen to a peaceful agreement between Israelis and Palestinians – brought him a Nobel Peace Prize in 1995. This world needs more men like Shimon Peres, not less. Dan: Plus he spoke 6 languages. You ever hear Hebrew spoken with a Polish accent?

Rich: I must confess that I was actually quite rude to Mrs. Schlafly one night. She came to speak at St. Olaf when I was there studying Political Science, and let’s just say this wasn’t her crowd. We heckled her, interrupted her, booed her and yelled at her. She really got me going when she made a comment about white families “having” to adopt Asian babies (in the context of an debate over abortion). We were angry young college students, and she held in there like a pro. I’m sure we were not the first angry crowd she had faced, but looking back on it, I have to respect her resolve and dignity in the moment. I don’t think we ever agreed on a single thing, but she earned my respect. I would like to make a public apology for my behavior that night. May she rest in peace.

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Dan: “Brand New Lover” was a fantastic song from the Eighties. It had a driven synth bass sound with sprightly ornamented keyboards and a fun, catch melody. Anyone who says otherwise can’t be trusted. That being said, on the opposite side, Dead or Alive’s other big hit “You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)” is an atrocious mess of a song. Besides, the whole eye patch thing never really worked for me. Rich: Dan, “Brand New Lover” is the worst song of all time. The. Worst. There wasn’t much about the 80’s that sucked, but Pete Burns found everything that did and squeezed them into that stupid song. The fact that you like it makes me question your judgment and my faith in you as a music critic. “You Spin Me Round” wasn’t very good either. Dan: Rich, you ignorant slut.

Tom Hayden December 11, 1939-October 23, 2016 Rich: Tom Hayden was a peace activist who, as a founder of various groups like Students for a Democratic Society and the Indochina Peace Committee was the creator of some of the largest peaceful demonstrations in Americaan history. He was a Freedom Rider in 1964. He was one of the Chicago 7. He was married to Jane Fonda for a while, and then he served in the California legislature for 28 years. That’s a life well lived. Dan: A giant in the “Peace and Justice” movement, Hayden always struck me as one of those guys who may have been as divisive as he was a unifier. I always appreciated his dedication to the poor as part of the Newark Community Union Project, but was somewhat troubled by some of the ways his work was used in some Anti-War demonstrations as a child. I remember living in Seattle Washington as a child and seeing protests turn violent at the University of Washington. In one case, the ROTC center was overrun by protesters that turned violent, smashing and breaking the Commanding Officer’s nose. A very traumatic event that, sadly shapes my view.

Leonard Cohen September 21, 1934-November 7, 2016 Dan: It seems like just about every serious artist has covered a Leonard Cohen song at some point in their career. Jeff Buckley did an outstanding turn on “Hallelujah” on his Grace album. Hell, even Neil Diamond covered “Suzanne.” He was literally, a songwriter’s songwriter. For me, the album that really did it was his 1988 album I’m Your Man. His gravelly vocals on “Everybody Knows” make an already dark song unsettling and creepy. His final work, You Want It Darker, is a rumination on God and death was released a mere 17 days prior to his death. His songwriting voice remained daring and honest to the very end. Rich: He was like the science fiction writer of rock ‘n’ roll. Check out a song like “First We Take Manhattan,” or even “Hallelujah.” He was also a serious poet whose work just happened to be set to music. A brilliant mind, and killer bass voice. Leonard Cohen was just cool as hell.

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| JANUARY 2017

Janet Reno

Gwen Ifill

Sharon Jones

Fidel Castro

July 21, 1938-November 7, 2016

September 29, 1955-November 14, 2016

May 4, 1956-November 18, 2016

August 13, 1926-November 26, 2016

Rich: As a card carrying member of the press, I have such immense respect for journalists like Gwen Ifill. Her work was always unbiased, but never without substance. She was always the smartest voice at the table when she would appear on panels for Meet the Press or Face the Nation, and her work as a debate moderator was impeccable (imagine what it took to keep the Biden/Palin VP debate in 2008 from becoming a complete circus). I saw tribute after tribute to her on every network. Her departure reduced the most grizzled and hardened TV journalists to tears. In this world of “News-You-Choose” a person with Ifill’s combination of skill and integrity will be sorely missed.

Dan: I always appreciated that the soul singer never even released her first album until she was 40. Her 2010 album with the Dap-Kings, I Learned the Hard Way, debuted at number 15 on the Billboard charts gives further proof that maybe life really does begin at 50.

Rich: Castro was a survivor, man. Some will hail him as a hero, but I will point to his human rights record and choose not to do that. However, you have to respect a man who was able to engineer a revolution and then create and sustain a communist government 90 miles from the United States of America for more than 50 years. This guy survived American backed assassination and coup d’état attempts, was the flashpoint for the closest we ever came to World War III, stood down 9 U.S. presidents, and, if you believe some of the conspiracy theorists, may well have had a hand in assassinating of one of them. He was no hero, but he was certainly a study in cold, calculated political survival. Nothing happened that wasn’t on his terms from the day he took power to the day he ceded that power to his brother Raul, to the day he died.

Rich: Oh Janet, you giant of the American legal system. That whole David Koresh thing and the Branch Davidians in Waco is what you’re unfortunately most remembered for, but you were the first female Attorney General of the United States, and that really ought to count for something. Dan: Any way you looked at it, Reno was tough as nails. The last thing that I would ever want would be to have her after me. Janet Reno literally kept me on the straight an narrow path all throughout the Nineties. Why risk it?

Robert Vaughn November 22, 1932-November 11, 2016 Rich: I know that I saw Robert Vaughn in a lot of movies and on TV quite a bit, but the only role I can remember him from off the top of my head was Superman III, starring Christopher Reeve and Richard Pryor. Vaughn played the bad guy who duped Pryor (playing an accidental computer genius) into helping him defeat Superman with synthetic Kryptonite. Yep. A true American classic. Dan: Superman III, seriously? You went with Superman III? This dude was the ultra suave Napoleon Solo on TV’s The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and you mention Superman III. You just proved that I was right in calling you an ignorant slut about “Brand New Lover.”

Leon Russell April 2,1942-November 13, 2016 Dan: Leon Russell was the ultimate sideman. His work as the musical director of Joe Cocker’s Mad Dogs and Englishmen tour in 1970 as well as his support of acts included the Beach Boys, Frank Sinatra, The Byrds, Ray Charles, Willie Nelson over at least 430 different songs. In addition to Elton John’s view of him as a mentor, you should be able to guess the amount of respect he garnered in the music industry when his debut album included contributions by Ringo Starr, Eric Clapton and George Harrison.

Dan: A true, and fair, class act from start to finish. We will really miss her intelligence and skill moving forward. One of the rare journalists who actually made her audience a more informed electorate by the end of her reporting.

Mose Allison November 11, 1927-November 15, 2016 Rich: Quite often you’ll hear someone referred to as a “musician’s musician” or a “songwriter’s songwriter.” That means the person is held in exceptionally high regard by others in his or her profession. Mose Allison was a musician’s musician and a songwriter’s songwriter. Most of you never heard of Mose Allison, but his influence on performers like Jimi Hendrix, Pete Townshend, Van Morrison, Keith Richards, Bonnie Raitt, Elvis Costello, Tom Waits and so many more is undeniable. He wrote blues songs that sounded like jazz and jazz songs that were drenched in the blues. Allison was one of the most influential songwriters of the 20th Century, even if you never heard of him until right now. Dan: I think that pretty much covers it. A true voice of the American South.

Rich: Leon was a badass. I think of him as the greatest band leader in the rock era, partially because of his musical chops, partially because of his enormous personality and partially because of his natural onstage flamboyance.

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Rich: She had just been featured in a Rolling Stone interview late in the summer that talked about how the cancer was back and she was just going to keep singing and performing until she couldn’t anymore. This just seems really unfair. I don’t think I’d even heard of her seven years ago, and now she’s just gone. That woman could sing like no other, and she had more stage presence than 99% of the people working today.

Florence Henderson February 14, 1934-November 24, 2016 Dan: I was honestly surprised to find out that Henderson was 82 years old. She was “America’s Mom” for the generation that came of age in the Seventies. I think the fact that The Brady Bunch has never really left the airwaves led to an image of perpetual youth. I always appreciated Carol and Mike Brady’s life lessons delivered in was firm, but gentle manner that made the show a timeless classic. Rich: Life lessons? Yeah, this from a guy who still watches re-runs of Full House. Dan: Just tell me that you didn’t learn an important lesson about being true to yourself when Greg realizes that fame as rock star “Johnny Bravo” has gotten into his head after realizing that the only reason he was signed to his talent contract “because he fit the suit.” Dude foretold the Milli Vanilli saga 16 years before it happened! If Rob & Fab had only learned the lesson of that one episode, the world would’ve been a better place. Rich: Hey man, Florence Henderson was a great lady but there are plenty of ways to learn about life without having to subject oneself to The Brady Bunch. And, I’m not so sure that you want to be taking life lessons from a woman who may-or-maynot have slept with her TV son.

Dan: Dude. I don’t know about all that political stuff. All I know is he was yet another example of how the Washington Senators/Minnesota Twins organization fails to develop pitching prospects. He came to the organization with a good fastball, but they could never teach him how to make his curve break. Just another wasted arm on the scrap heap. That brings us right up to the print deadline of our January issue. Due to the size and scope of this list, there will inevitably be somebody we missed, accidentally omitted, or didn’t know about that made an impact on your life. Don’t hesitate to email us at editor@southernminnscene to let us know who should be on this list that isn’t. Amid all this talk of death, Dan and I think it’s important to note one thing: Betty White is still alive. Thank God. Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com. Daniel G. Moir knows more about music than most people have forgotten (Except for Rich. Rich knows more) Contact Dan at stiletto52@yahoo.com

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The

Democratic National Crisis

stripped the nomination away from a perfectly viable candidate in Bernie Sanders. ell, it’s over. What felt The Democratic Nalike the longest election tional Committee, Debbie cycle in recent memory, Wasserman Schultz and the is finally over. No more far-left, safe-space using, Nate Silver. No more militant feminism promotfact checking on politico ing shit-storm troopers are and no more political as responsible for Donald ads clogging up your Trump being elected as the 50+ million people Monday Night Football. I think I’m pretty happy who voted for him. about that last one. In fact, I’m over the moon The DNC stopped at nothing to ensure that about it all. Clinton would be the nominee, despite her many Think back to the first election you can rememdrawbacks. From locating field offices for Hillary ber. The first election you were engrossed in as Clinton’s campaign at state DNC headquarters, to much as you were this one. Has there ever been lining up superdelegates before a debate had even an election in recent memory that has shown the taken place, to the DNC’s own finance chair, Henry massive divide America is facing as a country? R. Munoz III, organizing a fundraising event for I think not. There definitely hasn’t been one in Hillary Clinton. Munoz got to keep his job, by the recent memory that has been as mentally draining way. as this one. Hillary Clinton is almost universally unpopular. But, alas, it is over, and Donald Trump will She is an establishment canbecome the 45th President didate during a time when of the United States. Now, anti-establishment is at the I haven’t been writing for forefront of people’s reasonas long as some of my coling behind voting. Why they leagues in this magazine, thought Donald Trump was but in all of my years as a their savior is unclear as of columnist for various publiyet, but that’s a story for ancations, I never thought I’d other time. Clinton lost the have to write that sentence. election because the Ameri As a country, despite can people saw her for what what the popular vote says, she was, or at least what she we have democratically has been portrayed to be, elected a man who started but the DNC still backed his campaign saying that her. Why? Because it was her Mexican immigrants were turn? Because we deserve a rapists. Back then it was a woman in the White House? few chuckles from columIf we keep voting based on nists like myself. “This guy who we perceive is more won’t last five minutes,” I deserved, there won’t be a think millions of us said to Democrat in the Oval Office ourselves. But, here we are, for a long, long time. Former Chair of the DNC Debbie a few weeks after the elecDNC favoritism was Wasserman Schultz. tion, and Mr. Trump did last obvious, starting with the more than five minutes. He Democratic Primary debates. might even last more than five years. Clinton stood at the middle podium at the ABC I wracked my brain for days after Rich Larson debate. Whenever a question was asked, it was asked me to be the political columnist for SCENE designed to be a debate between Clinton and Magazine. As a center-left leaning individual, I Sanders, or Clinton and Martin O’Malley. Never could write for days about how racist, misogyonce during the entire Primary debates was a quesnistic, homophobic and xenophobic part of the tion asked that could have sparked a discussion Republican Party has been, but that would be too between Sanders and O’Malley. easy, at least this time. It’s simple enough to note Clinton received 50% more talk time than the Mr. Trump’s flaws, even if you were trying to live other candidates, and through no lack of trying, under a rock the whole time, you probably still saw Sanders and O’Malley were left in the dust, with “grab ‘em by the pussy” carved in it somewhere, most of their talk-time being used up to defend but on the other side of the coin, the Democratic themselves from attacks made my Clinton. Party not only put forward the one person who Not only was she given more time to answer could possibly lose to Donald Trump, they also questions and promote her candidacy, she already By RYAN OLDMAN editor@southernminnscene.com

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knew the questions thanks to the current DNC Chair Donna Brazile. Let that sink in. The woman who is currently leading the DNC cheated in favor of Hillary Clinton, and now leads the party. Let that sink in a little more, she cheated, and still didn’t win.If that doesn’t prove my previous point about Hillary Clinton being universally unpopular, I don’t know what will. Brazile was fired from CNN for giving Clinton an advantage, but that only goes to show that CNN has more morals than the Democratic National Committee, where Brazile still holds on to her job. What Clinton did win, though, was the Democratic Primary, and the disdain among many millennials like myself grew, all the way up until election night on November 8th. Five Thirty Eight, my homepage during the election, had Clinton winning in a landslide, as did the overwhelming majority of respectable news organizations, but they couldn’t have been more wrong. Donald Trump trounced Clinton in what will probably go down in history as the biggest election shock in modern politics. I was in shock, as many were, but I understood. Yard signs don’t vote, but even here in the notoriously left-leaning Minnesota, Trump/Pence signs swept those of their Democrat counterparts. Many people were angry, many were sick and tired and many had no desire to see yet another establishment politician in the Oval Office, regardless of how qualified they were for the role. Anger and dismay fuels those who wouldn’t generally vote. They saw their opportunity and they ticked the box for Trump. Despite all signs pointing to a disastrous next four years, are we really going to kid ourselves and say the majority of people that voted for Trump did so after reading all of his policies and fact-checking articles they read online? They elected a meme for god’s sake. The vast majority of republican voters voted against Hillary Clinton. You could have stood Peewee Herman up on the debate stage and she still would have lost. On that night we also saw a wide array of emotions from people in the streets and at Clinton/ Kaine parties across the nation. White women and men crying, one in particular in the fetal position

on the ground. It is to them that this article is really targeting. Why are you crying? On November 9th you woke up and you were still white in America. You have built a movement on being the idea police, and despite the fact that this has clearly not worked, and probably never will, you’ll most likely use this to reaffirm your opinion that the whole world is against you. No real political discussion can happen anymore because of the far-left, and the far-right, and now we’ve seen with the riots after the election that the far-left aren’t all about peace and love like they claim to be. Many of these rioters were non-voters too, so take that any way you will. The future of the Democratic Party hinges on putting forward a candidate that can appeal to the economic left; someone who can appeal to voters for the right reasons. Right now they are producing candidates that appeal to the social justice left, and despite what we see on our Facebook feeds, that is an overwhelming minority of the Democratic Party. It was Bernie Sanders’ time. He was undoubtedly the people’s candidate, the man who stood up for working-class America, as well as ethnic minorities and the LGBT community. He didn’t cherry pick, he didn’t pander, and he definitely didn’t take any crap. But it’s over. 2020 is too late. He will be too old, and everything President Barack Obama did and stood for over the last eight years will be most likely undone by then. Columnists on the left and the right discussed the end of the GOP for the entire election cycle, but we couldn’t have been more wrong. It is the end of the Democratic Party, at least as we know it. Now that we have seen the obvious corruption displayed by the liberal elite in favor of Hillary Clinton, I simply cannot see a Democrat in The White House without a dramatic overhaul. To kill something you have to start at the root. Anybody got any Roundup? Ryan Oldham is the new political columnist for SouthernMinn Scene. Contact him at editor@southernminnscene.com

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The venerable thrash band released their new album as a 3 CD set (over 2 ½ hours of music) that you could pre-order for $9.99. The standard 2 CD version was also available for the same retail. Not only is this album a rip-roaring return to the aggressiveness of the Cliff Burton era that formed their reputation, but it also showed that despite their success, Metallica keep their fans first and foremost in their minds. I have to love them for that if nothing else. You should too.

was an “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” kind of year. The music industry was hit with an overwhelming number of unexpected deaths like David Bowie, Glenn Frey, Leonard Cohen and Minnesota’s very own Prince. At

the same time, there

was some flat-out amazing music to be found out there. You may have needed to actively seek it out, but there was much out there waiting to reward the patient “music explorer.” When it comes to music, I will admit to being an opinionated, arrogant, egotistical music snob. Hey, that’s what a critic does, right? Anyhow, here is my take on what the year sounded like to me. I would really love to hear what YOU heard

The Naked and Famous - Simple Forms

that spun YOUR wheel. Don’t hesitate to drop a line to the editor of this fine publication and share your thoughts! The best part of music is the discovery of something

Bon Jovi

new and I would love to

The band then turned around and released their 2016 album This House Is Not For Sale on Universal Records. Ironically, Universal also owns Mercury Records. No hard feelings, guys! Wonder how those album marketing meetings were…

hear about it! Now, on to the awards…

U.S. Bank Stadium

one is worth owning. Hook-filled and bristling with energy, this is the sound of a band renewed.

Sia - This is Acting Bruno Mars takes his own advice from “The Lazy Song” and delivers his first true clunker with 24K Magic. Unfocused, and lacking the sense of melody he expertly employed in his previous work, his third album comes across like a collection of bad Bobby Brown filler instead of the inspired retro takes he has delivered in the past. Songs like “Uptown Funk”, “Locked Out Of Heaven” and “Grenade” have shown Mars to be a singular & complete talent. With 24K Magic, he decides to sleep in. “Today I don’t feel like doing anything/I just wanna lay in my bed” indeed.

Soul Asylum The venerable Minneapolis band released their eleventh album Change of Fortune in March and it is easily the best thing that they have put out since “Grave Dancer’s Union” in 1992. Dave Pirner may be the only remaining original member, but this

Comprised entirely of songs intended for other artists, songwriter Sia Furler smartly rescued and recorded these rejections and worked them into one of the best albums of the year. Adele may have passed on “Alive,” but Sia’s lived in voice proved that she was the right match for both the melody and the defiant lyrics of survival.

In late 2015, Bon Jovi released a “get out of the contract” album called Burning Bridges on their long-time home, Mercury Records. After 32 years, Jon and the boys couldn’t come to terms with the label and dropped this one in their lap as a sour goodbye. Lyrics like “Here’s one last song you can sell/lets call it burning bridges” and “Play it for your friends in hell” are about as subtle as a Trump rally.

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On Aug. 20th, the work of the stadium contractors was put to the supreme test when the brand new “People’s Stadium” hosted Metallica. The wait to get in, to get out, to take a leak may have been forever, but the building survived a 2 hour+ audio assault by the Metal band from the bay. Sadly, while it looks like the stadium may have survived the test, it doesn’t appear that the same can be said for the purple team that lives there.

The Music Industry - Multiple Offenders The advent of the Compact Disc in the Eighties allowed for an entirely new revenue stream for the music industry when it was discovered that fans would go out and re-buy favourite albums in the new format. Recently, the move has been to put out “Deluxe Editions” or “Ultimate Editions” that contain 3-4 “unreleased” or “bonus” songs not on the initial album release. Hey, I see no problem in doing this for classic re-releases like Darkness on the Edge of Town or Achtung Baby years after release that not only add B-sides, demos but also offer a sonically, remixed album. That’s a celebration! The real issue is when it is done with recently released albums. Die-hard fans of an artist will buy the original version the day/week it comes out. What is crass is when the album is issued a second time in the same year, but with extra things that the obsessive fans will pick up just to make sure that they have “everything.” A case in point is Sia’s This is Acting first released on Jan. 29th and then a “Deluxe” edition with 6 additional songs on Oct. 21st. Weezer is also guilty, announcing on Oct. 7th a re-release of their new White Album with some extra tracks just 6 months after the release. Past offender Katy Perry also dropped Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection within 18 months of the original.

Metallica - Hardwired… To SelfDestruct

At least until “Slippery Meat Sticks and the Flaming Five” release their album. Seriously though, the five-piece band from New Zealand’s third album came out in mid-October and is jaw dropping. Lead singer Alisa Xayalith’s voice and sense of melody and harmony floats around the electronic indie’s ambient sound with a soulful, and smooth, deftness that demands repeat listenings. While the band’s name may be an attempt to comment on their ambivalence to celebrity, here is hoping that they continue to expand their audience to the levels of fame that their music deserves. Put their lead-off song “Higher” into your Spotify playlist and just let it sink in.

Ellipses This fantastic punctuation mark hit a high usage mark this year with albums like… De La Soul - And The Anonymous Nobody… Metallica - Hardwired… To Self-Destruct Snow tha Product - Half Way There… Pt. 1 Daughtry - It’s Not Over… The Hits So Far A Tribe Called Quest - We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service

The 1975 - I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It No Kidding.

The Chainsmokers OK, I will admit to being much more of an “Album” kind of guy. I like a longer form that explores a broader range and serves to give an Artist more room for expression. It is a book compared to a magazine article. That being said, the New York DJ/EDM duo have consistently released some of the most engaging singles since issuing “#selfie” for free online in 2013. This year’s “Closer” (with Halsey) was one of those perfect songs that leave you wanting more. Thankfully, they have just included it in their second E.P. Collage in November. Here is hoping for a full serving in 2017, guys!

Bruce Springsteen & The E-Street Band-Xcel Energy Center Feb. 29, 2016 One of the trends over the past number of years has been artists playing past fan favourite albums from front to back in concert. While it removes the unexpected nature of the event, it does

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give an opportunity for both the musician and audience to re-connect with the material and see how everyone has aged. The Boss brought The River album to life after 36 summers on, revealing that perhaps it has actually become more vibrant and vital over time than Born To Run. Miami Steve Van Zant coaxed guitar harmonies out of “Drive All Night” that gave new soul and dark desperation missing from the album take. On the other side of the coin, it also gave further proof that someone should have stopped the E-Streeters from EVER putting “Crush On You” or “I’m A Rocker” out into the world. Such is life.

call from a long-lost friend. The album title came from Phife Dawg who never explained it to the other members before his death in March, so the meaning appears lost to time. The album deservedly hit #1 on the charts at the time of release and stands as one of the true gems of 2016. Sadly, Q-Tip has also said that it will stand as the final album by this amazing and intelligent group.

The 1975 - I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It Rob Meany-Cover of Snow This song off Minneapolis Singer/Songwriter Rob Meany’s 2016 album, Ferris Wheels Unbound literally sounds like the first snowflakes of winter falling as it starts and is a perfect joining of words and melody to metaphorically convey the ambivalence and uncertainty of a relationship. For residents in our land of perpetual snow and ice, we can all imagine the song’s setting.

The Manchester, England based band finally moved past their “indie-hipness” phase and into the wide-world of screaming teenage girls. They also did it without sacrificing any of the grit and edginess that made them so interesting in the first place. An honest, beautiful sadness of a record that shimmers with joyous melodies as it attempts to make sense out of the world its creators find themselves.

PHON E CASE S

No particular ranking order here, but you just can’t go wrong with any of these.

Tove Lo - Lady Wood Sweden’s Tove Lo may very well be the perfect Pop Star for this decade, but naming her concept album about re-claiming the feminist libido “Lady Wood” is genius. My inner pre-teen is still giggling about it. A weird and fantastic record from start to finish from a darkly honest artist.

A Tribe Called Quest After 18 years, A Tribe Called Quest unexpectedly dropped their sixth album (We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service) on November 11th. For fans of the influential group, this was a like getting a surprise phone

A Tribe Called Quest - We Got It From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service The Naked And Famous - Simple Forms Sia - This Is Acting Soul Asylum - Change Of Fortune Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool Tove Lo - Lady Wood Rob Meany - Ferris Wheels Unbound Metallica - Hardwired… To Self-Destruct De La Soul - And The Anonymous Nobody… David Bowie - Blackstar Bastille - Wild World

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WOLDUM TV

RACHEL WOLDUM Rachel Woldum is a former television snob who has embraced the medium as it has entered its Golden Age. Contact her at editor@southernminnscene.com

Resolutions for a new year

t’s hard to believe it’s already 2017, considering my mind still thinks last month was August. Instead of all the usual resolutions about exercise and dieting and finances, I decided to make some TV-related resolutions in order to make my binge-watching more intentional. Having too much good TV to watch is a nice problem to have, but it can be a little overwhelming when deciding what to watch next. So here are my personal resolutions, with a heavy side of recommendations. Show to Re-Watch: Veronica Mars (2004-2007).Titular character Veronica Mars (played by a young Kristen Bell) is a modern day Nancy Drew, if Nancy was still in high school and a lot sassier. Each episode finds her working to solve three mysteries: a mystery at her high school involving her peers, a mystery from her father’s private detective agency, involving the seedy underbelly of her small southern California town, and the ongoing mystery of who murdered her best friend, Lily. The dialogue is snappy, the mysteries surprising, and the heroine exceedingly likable. This is a show I’ve been meaning to re-watch ever since I first saw it one wintry January in college. Available to stream on Amazon Prime. Show to Convince Someone Else to Watch: Friday Night Lights (20062010). I’ve been begging my parents for years to watch this show. I understand their hesitation - a show set in Texas about a high school football team didn’t exactly whip me into a frenzied search for the remote myself. But once I started watching this NBC family drama, I couldn’t stop. Yes, it’s about high school football, but it’s also about Coach Taylor’s entire family and the happenings of their small Texas community. As cheesy as it sounds, this really is a heartwarming show for all generations. My personal attachment to this show has much to do with a certain Tim Riggins (ladies, I dare you not to crush hard), but hotties aside, it’s extremely well-written, wellacted, and (mostly) realistic. Available to stream on Netflix. Show I Should Be Ashamed For Not Having Watched Yet: The Wire (2002-2008). I know, I’m sorry! *hangs head* I’m a terrible TV fan. I’ve watched Games of Thrones, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Downton Abbey, Sherlock… most of the TV shows that people go crazy for. But I have never watched The Wire. Okay, I’ve

seen a few episodes of Season 1, but nothing beyond that. My excuse is this: I started watching with a boyfriend, we broke up, and I never

Show I Should Be Ashamed For Not Having Watched Yet

Show To Re-Watch

New Season I’m Most Excited For

Show To Convince Someone Else To Watch

characters from Season 1 to Season 5, they’re drastically but believably different. Despite their glaring imperfections, my heart will break a little when I have to say goodbye to Hannah, Jessa, Marnie, and Shoshanna for good. These are four girls who I’ve enjoyed watching become women. Both available to stream on HBOGo. New Show I’m Most Excited For: Without a doubt, Taboo. Starring the always excellent Tom Hardy, Taboo is a period miniseries about a long-lost son who returns to claim his father’s fortune and shipping business. Part Charles Dickens, part Victor Hugo, this revenge drama created by Mr. Hardy and his father is sure to be gritty, intense, and packed with stellar performances from a myriad of BBC actors. Available to stream on FX. Runner Up: The Young Pope, starring Jude Law as the first American pope, Pius XIII. Let’s just say, if the pope really looked like this, there’d be a sudden surge in Catholic converts. A show about the pope doesn’t sound particularly sexy, but if anyone can change our opinion, it’s Jude Law in a cassock. So, TV watchers of 2017: may your New Year be peaceful and exciting, fruitful and enlightening, and full of rejuvenating hours spent discovering new shows!

Show I Really Need to Finish Watching picked it back up again. For those of you who have also been living under a rock, The Wire is an anthology TV show about crime in Baltimore, Maryland. Each season focuses on a different institution (city government, drug trafficking, the media, etc) and its relationship to law enforcement. So many people whose opinions I respect cite this as the best TV show of all time, and it’s an abomination that I haven’t watched it yet. 2017 is the year that changes! Available to stream on HBOGo. Show I Really Need to Finish Watching: The Affair (2014-ongoing). The Affair is that show you might not have heard of, but definitely should be watching. Starring Ruth Wilson (also in Luther), Dominic West (also in The Wire), and Joshua Jackson (also in Dawson’s Creek), The Affair is about an illicit relationship between vacationing (married) writer Noah Salloway and local (married) waitress Allison Lockhart. Each episode is told twice - once from Noah’s perspective, and once from Allison’s. It’s a fascinating examination of the truth—the truth we tell others, the truths we hide, and the lies we tell ourselves. In addition to the central romance between the

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Noah and Allison, we get to see the fallout of their affair and the effect that their choices have on their marriages and families. Available to stream on Amazon Prime and Hulu. New Season I’m Most Excited For: It’s a toss-up between Girls and Game of Thrones. Ironically, I started out hating Girls but have come to love it, and started out loving Game of Thrones but have come to merely tolerate it. In my opinion, Girls just keeps getting better and Games of Thrones (final two episodes of Season 6 notwithstanding) has turned into kind of a bore. Multiple story lines have stagnated (Danerys, Arya, Jaime Lannister), and with the death count higher than ever, the stakes seem lower (it’s hard to get invested when everyone is expendable!) Still, I’m fascinated to see if the creators can successfully go off-book and pull such an epic storyline together. The character arcs in Girls, on the other hand, have only grown more compelling. When I compare the

Runner Up

New Show Most Excited For

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kate pEhrson Kate Pehrson is a celebrated Twin Cities musician, writer, humorist, educator, mother, wife, fire prevention partner and film aficionado. Contact her on Twitter@k8pehrson

The Year in Movies

here’s a New Yorker cartoon by Harry Bliss called “Hollywood Think Tank”. Four People are sitting around the table with each one of them saying a different word: “Sex” “Guns” “Sequels” “Money”. Cynical? Perhaps. Pretty much true? Yup. I think the official count for 2016 sequels stands at 37. Sequels can be great, but what everyone is hoping for is a repeat experience of our first interaction with a story, and that’s hard to pull off. Movies that hit the mark were sci-fi/superhero adventures Star Trek: Beyond and Captain America: Civil War. In family-friendly animation fare, hits were Kung Fu Panda 3 and Finding Dory. In the prequel category, the wizarding world of Harry Potter found new life in America in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. But those were the exceptions. Some sequels suffered from weird timing or trying too hard. The Divergent series comes to mind. I like the premise, and I enjoyed the first film, but building on the precedents set by others, there’s been a new film every year, including the now apparently required two-parter finale. Enough already. Not every book series needs a DVD box set. Then there were the sequels with the opposite problem – made too late. Three movies in 2016 were sequels to films made over a decade ago: Bridget Jones’s Baby (12 years), My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (14 years), and Independence Day: Resurgent (20 years later). The first two were sweet comedy charmers to begin with, so any sequel wasn’t going to change the course of cinema, but Independence Day was such a fun and big action sci-fi film when it came out in 1996, that this disappointing sequel just bummed me out. Too many loose ends being wrapped up inelegantly, along with unnecessary subplots. Speaking of unnecessary, why The Huntsman: Winter’s War? When Snow White and the Huntsman came out in 2012, I enjoyed the fantasy action retelling of an old story with great costumes and cool special effects, but I wasn’t yearning for the backstory behind Chris Hemsworth’s warrior figure. And despite impressive casting of Jessica Chastain as his main love interest, I was far more interested in the chemistry between Hemsworth and character actor Sheridan Smith as Mrs. Bronwyn. Remakes aren’t quite the same as sequels, but again, there were hits and misses. The live-action The Jungle Book was an entertaining film that did well for Disney. Veterans Bill Murray and Christopher Walken as Baloo and King Louie respectively were wonderful juxtapositions to the young and energetic Mowgli played by Neel Seethi. But can anyone tell me who asked for a live-action

Sex, Guns, Sequels and Money remake of Pete’s Dragon? Anyone? Of course, Ghostbusters was the big franchise reboot controversy of the year. Neither fabulous nor horrible, it was uneven and never really gained the footing many hoped for. Strong moments and funny women were pulled off keel by an undercooked backstory, some sloppily addedon cameos, and a weak storyline that got lost in the shenanigans. Kristin Wiig and Melissa McCarthy played it straight to Kate MacKinnon’s wacky mad genius and Leslie Jones. Chris Hemsworth’s dumb blonde receptionist was, however, worth the price of admission. Oh, the 9th Madea film in 12 years came out in time for Halloween. Okay, sex. There’s good sex (and romance) and there’s bad sex. My favorite sex this year was in Deadpool: raunchy but consensual, flirtatious and fun. The strangest sex this year was in the bizarre dystopian world of The Lobster, where everyone is supposed to have a mate, but no one is supposed to be in love. Self-love is forbidden but the staff will help you with arousal and provide helpful demonstration skits. Unfortunately, the bisexual option is no longer offered. Colin Farrell does a marvelous turn with Rachel Weisz adding another cinematic notch to her amazing belt. Can we talk about unnecessary romantic subplots, though? Did everyone in Independence Day: Resurgence really need a boyfriend or girlfriend? And though I’m all for it, was the old-couple sweetness between Dr. Okum and Dr. Isaacs just a little too cute? Did the feelings and romantic insinuations between Newt Scamander and his Tina seem a bit last-minute and left-field? Did Captain America kissing Agent Carter’s niece give anyone else the “oh pleases” or the yucks? However, the movie that made my engineer

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husband cry was Me before You. Let’s just go ahead and call this next section guns AND violence. And like sex, there was quite a bit of it. Some of my favorite violence (can I say that?) was in The Nice Guys. The movie was overly long and had some strange pacing (pick a denouement already), but the moments when the relationship between Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe worked were the kind that make you love a good “guy” movie. Hardcore Henry was a Russian-made live-action film inspired by first-person gamer perspective, along with the requisite violence, crazy stunts, guns, gadgets, bad guys, machismo and a hot scientist wife. It had mixed reviews, but mostly because critics were mistakenly looking for a plot in a video game. Making the critical rounds for its cast, craftsmanship and story, Green Room is rife with violence – punk music, neo-nazis, murder, brutal attacks, and drugs. Alas, it was one of the last movies that the gone-too-soon Anton Yelchin would star in, but speaking of Star Trek, this film is also a reminder that Patrick Stewart is a freaking master. Finally, I really, really, really wanted Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to be clever and intelligent literary costume drama zombie fun. It wasn’t. Hollywood raked in the Money this year, especially Walt Disney, who distributes Marvel films and lovable animated animal movies. (Actually, if I were to add a category to the Harry Bliss cartoon, it would be “animals” – they make money). Warner Brothers made money with DC comic films, but the movies did not do as well critically. Luckily, it also distributes the magical moneymaking Harry Potter films. Universal scored a hit with Secret Life of Pets. 20th Century Fox hit the

R-rated jackpot with Deadpool. Its connections to the X-men franchise may help boost that universe out of its mutant slump. May I just say: a toast to Ryan Reynolds – bless his skinny Canadian butt and filthy, filthy mouth. We should talk about Losses. I know elsewhere in this edition that my colleagues have be discussed many of the fine actors and other talents that we’ve lost in 2016, but I do want to mention a few other noteworthy passings: Vilmos Zsigmond: Oscar-winning cinematographer. Notable films: The Deer Hunter, Deliverance, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, The River, The Rose, The Last Waltz. Patty Duke: actor. Notable films: Valley of the Dolls, The Miracle Worker. Noel Neill: actor, Minnesotan. Most notably, she portrayed Lois Lane in the 1950s. Tony Dyson: special effects designer who created the droid model for R2D2 Charmian Carr: an actor best known for her portrayal of Liesel, the oldest child of the Von Trapp Family in The Sound of Music. Marni Nixon: voice actor and singer. Uncredited but eventually confirmed as providing the singing voice for Deborah Kerr in The King and I, Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady, and Natalie Wood in West Side Story. Hector Babenco: Argentine Director of Kiss of the Spider Woman, At Play in the Fields of the Lord, and Ironweed. Guy Hamilton: director of four James Bond films – Goldfinger, Diamonds are Forever, The Man with the Golden Gun, and Live and Let Die. Adrienne Corri: actor most notably remembered for portraying Mrs. Alexander in the infamous rape scene in A Clockwork Orange. David Margulies: television and movie actor who portrayed Mayor Lenny Klotch in the original Ghostbusters films. In a couple months, Liv Tollefson and I will be writing about the Oscar race, and that’s where we will have the opportunity to talk about the gems in the year’s offerings. Gems might utilize sex, guns, money or even sequels, but rise above the devices into memorable experiences. We don’t know what we’ll find there yet, but I have seen a couple rising stars that I humbly suggest you make your way towards: the thoughtprovoking Arrival and the gorgeous and poetic Moonlight. If you’re in the mood for Marvel and spectacular visual distractions: the fantastic Dr. Strange. If you’re in the mood for an independent film, may I suggest horror in The Witch, bizarre bromance in Swiss Army Man, or the strength of parental love in Midnight Special and Captain Fantastic. Cheers to you and yours in 2017, and if you see me at the movies, leave the aisle seat on the back left open for me. Seriously. Do not sit there. SMS

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| JANUARY 2017

THE Dave Simonett 7:30 p.m., January 14 Northfield Arts Guild Theater

John Gorka

In January we all think about making new starts and renewing our efforts to expand our horizons, and by everyone, I include rock stars on that list. Dave Simonett may debate whether or not he’s a rock star (he is in Minnesota for sure), but there is no doubt that 2017 is a brave new world for the singer/songwriter and erstwhile(?) leader of Trampled By Turtles. In October, TbT announced that they were going on hiatus. Simonett had really only accidentally become the leader of a bluegrass band when Trampled by Turtles formed in 2003 (most of his gear had been stolen and he’d been left with only an acoustic guitar), and his electric rock band, Dead Man Winter has outgrown the label of “side project.” So, it’s time for Simonett to leave the acoustic nest and branch out into new territory. Not that life outside of his most famous band is really new territory. He has played sporadically with Dead Man Winter for almost ten years, he released a solo EP, Razor Pony, in 2014, and has embarked on numerous solo tours over the years. So, on January 14, he’ll play a solo show at the Northfield Arts Guild Theater in, you guessed it, Northfield as a part of the NAG’s 411 Concert Series. The 411 was conceived five years ago by Northfield music impresarios Ray Coudret and Dan Rustad, who had rightly observed that the small theater on the West(ish) side of town was a criminally underused space that could be an excellent music venue. Over the years, the 411 Concert Series has hosted notables like Gary Louris of the Jayhawks, Ruth Moody of The Wailin’ Jennys, Michael Johnson, The Pines and John Gorka. These shows have become an eagerly anticipated event around Northfield for quality of the music as well as the star power they bring. Also, it’s nice to go see great music in the dead of winter. Which brings us back to Simonett. Dead Man Winter will release their new album, Furnace, on January 27. We can expect Simonett to preview some of the music from the new album, along with selections from Razor Pony and probably a few Trampled by Turtles chestnuts as well. This is going to be a fun night in an intimate setting.

7:30 p.m., January 28 - Crossings at Carnegie, Zumbrota I need you to understand just exactly who the hell John Gorka is. As a lifelong wannabe music writer, my dream has always been to get a byline in Rolling Stone Magazine. Yes, that publication has long been criticized as a corporate sellout, but it is still a respected, distinguished voice for Western pop culture, and has been for fifty years. So, let’s establish that Rolling Stone is a big, damn respected deal, and in 1991, Rolling Stone declared him to be “the preeminent voice of what has been dubbed the New Folk Movement.” He is respected worldwide to this day. Gorka has been nominated for multiple Grammy awards, and has played with every great folk voice you know from Peter Yarrow to Suzanne Vega to Ani Difranco. His 2016 release, Before Beginning, a collection of recordings he made in 1985, is currently on every Top 10 Folk Albums of the Year list. The New Jersey native has made his home in Minnesota for more than ten years. He recorded his debut album, I Know, for St. Paul based Red House

– Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene. com.

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WEEK of DEC 17-24: Audubon Annual Christmas Bird Count: 17-Dec, 7:15 AM, Silver Lake Park Pavilion, 700 W Silver Lake Drive NE, Rochester, Free.

Each year teams of interested birdwatchers search for birds in designated sections of Rochester. Well meet at 7:15 am in the west Silver Lake parking lot (near the fire station), then take a break from noon - 1 pm at Quarry Hill Nature Center for a quick lunch and tally. More counting is done in the afternoon with a final tally held at 4:45 at Quarry Hill.Youre invited to participate in this free event with one of our teams for part, or all of the days count. Be prepared for the weather, bring your own binoculars, lunch and beverages. For more information about this event please

visit our website: http://www.zumbrovalleyaudubon.org. Hosanna’s Pantry: 17-Dec, 9:00 AM, Hosanna Lutheran Church, 2815 57th St NW, Rochester, Free. Hosanna’s Pantry is a satellite food shelf of Channel One food bank in Rochester. A photo ID is required. Coffee and treats are served while you wait to shop. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 17-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light

appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work

with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie,

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Records in 1987 before he was quickly snapped up by the legendary Windham Hill label. Upon the completion of his Windham Hill contract, however, Gorka felt the pull to return to his original home and has enjoyed a highly successful relationship with Red House ever since. On January 28, Gorka will make what has now become his annual appearance at Crossings at Carnegie in Zumbrota, and it’s hard to qualify a show like this one. This is one of the most beloved folk singer/ songwriters in the world and he’ll be playing in a room that might seat 200 people. The intimacy of a show like that can only produce magic. There are people in Phoenix, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Montreal, Buenos Aires, Berlin and Sydney who would cut off their left arm to be at this show. You just have to hop in the car drive to Zumbrota. Gorka is a legend for good reason. Don’t miss this opportunity. – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The Grinch (Movie & Theatrical Experience): 17-Dec, 12:30 PM, Olde Pine Theatre, 113 2nd ST SW, Pine Island, $5-$6. OLDE PINE THEATRE: ‘Where the movies come alive.’ Come see The Grinch, the movie starring Jim Carey, and experience the live theatrical pre-show with in-person appearances by The Grinch & Santa on stage at the Olde Pine Theatre. There will also be photo opportunity after the movie to take your picture with The Grinch & Santa. Saturday, December 17 & Sunday, December 18 12:30 PM, 3:30 PM, & 6:30 PM Pre-sale Online Tickets Only $5! https://oldepinetheatre.

ticketleap.com/grinch/ 113 2nd ST SW, Pine Island, MN 507-491-2639 https://www. oldepinetheatre.com/ Nativity House Open House: 17-Dec, 1:00 PM, Nativity House, 606 Oakland Pl NE, Austin, free will donation which will go to the Salvation Army. The public is invited to visit this private home displaying almost 900 Nativity sets - all sizes, all shapes, all kinds of materials. Free will donation which goes to the Salvation Army. For more information or to arrange for private tours outside of this time can be made by calling 507-433-2643. A Christmas Tea Party: 17-Dec, 1:30 PM, Assisi Heights Spirituality Center, 1001 14th St NW, Rochester, $32 . ‘Tis that time of year to reflect on the values of the Christmas season! Stroll through the beautifully decorated parlors of Assisi Heights while pondering the message of the season in a

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quiet and reflective manner while hearing the songs of the season. Settle in for a Christmas Cinema sampling, before enjoying a cup of Christmas Tea with a variety of both tea sandwiches and sweet desserts! Finally relax with family or friends telling your own stories of Christmas past. Grace Lutheran Cookie Walk: 17-Dec, 3:30 PM, Grace Lutheran Church, 800 E Silver Lake Drive NE, Rochester, $15 . Choose from dozens of varieties of handmade Christmas cookies! Two sizes of containers will be available for purchase, which you can fill with your choice of cookies and candies. Holiday Big Band Swing: 17-Dec, 4:30 PM, Hormel Historic Home, 208 4th Ave NW, Austin, $12 . Planning to attend the annual Christmas At Home holiday concert at the Historic Paramount Theatre? Why not extend your holiday music experience and visit the Hormel Historic Home after the matinee show or before the evening show. Enjoy holiday classics performed by the Austin Big Band. Light snacks and cash bar available. Tickets $12 per person, available at the Hormel Historic Home in advance or at the door or at www.hormelhistorichome.org/events. Tiny Moving Parts: 17-Dec, 7:00 PM, The Garage, 75 Civic Center Parkway, Burnsville, Free. Advance tickets are $15 and $17 at the door. The Rochester Civic Theatre Company presents: A Christmas Carol: 17-Dec, 7:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $21-$31. Admission: Adults $31; Seniors $26; Students $21. The Rochester Civic Theatre Company proudly presents Charles Dickens’ classic story, A Christmas Carol. Adapted for the stage by Greg Miller. December 2 through 18, 2016. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 7:00 pm; Sundays at 2:00 pm. A holiday classic for all! Gather for this beloved Christmas story, guaranteed to thrill, amaze, and delight this holiday season. Suggested viewing age: 10 and up Tickets are on sale now: Adults $31; Seniors $26; Students $21 Visit or call our Box Office at 507-282-8481 to purchase tickets, or go to www.rochestercivictheatre. org for more information. 507-282-8481 Wrapped In Glory: 17-Dec, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$16. Tickets: $16.00 Adults/$10.00 Students 12 and under. Through letters and recollections, Faribault native Michael Lambert tells the stories of the women who worked in Faribault Woolen Mills during World War II, making blankets to keep their loved ones warm in the fight halfway around the world. The stories of these brave men and women will be intertwined with songs of the season and of the era. The New Standards Holiday Show: 17-Dec, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 west third street, Red Wing, $20-$50. richer, nuttier and undebatably more satisfying than Aunt Marthas fruitcake. With an emphasis on the nuttier.’ - Minneapolis Star Tribune. The New Standards Holiday Show Celebrating its 10th anniversary season in 2016, The New Standards Holiday Show rings in the yule with a unique twist on traditional holiday concertsone part variety show, one part homage to the season, one part irreverent, free-wheeling spectacle. The trio is joined by a supporting cast replete with vocalists, instrumentalists, dancers, and as always, a dazzling lineup of special surprise guests. You wont soon forget this show that has become a beloved annual tradition in the Twin Cities and beyond. 651-388-8700 Rochester Symphony Orchestra & Chorale: Sounds of the Season: 17-Dec, 7:30 PM, Mayo Civic Center Presentation Hall, 20 Civic Center Drive SE, Rochester, $5-$30. Adults $20-$30, 18 & Under $5. Program to include:Courtney A Musicological Journey Through the Twelve Days of Christmas Christmas Memories (a medley) Deck the Hall (Sing-Along)Handel Hallelujah Chorus (Sing-Along) Join us for our 2nd annual holiday extravaganza. There will be favorites galore, from old carols to modern expressions interspersed with dramatic vignettes staged by local thespians. To top it off, join a full community sing of Handels Hallelujah Chorus. A Bella Christmas: Thankful Hearts: 17-Dec, 7:30 PM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, $20 . Experience the transcendent beauty of 130 voices in the Bella Voce Young Women’s Choir and Bella Fiore Girls Choir! Welcoming a chamber orchestra and singing alumni, we sing and rejoice with thankful hearts for our 10th Anniversary Christmas concert. The choirs will perform a full program of favorites, individually and combined ranging from the

inspiring Dreaming from Home and a new Norwegian song, Jubilanten, to classics such as This Christmastide, For Unto Us a Child is Born, Wexford Carol, and Beautiful Savior. Our traditional closing Silent Night will certainly bring you to a place of peace, serenity and reflection for the holiday season. Representing communities from throughout SE Minnesota, singers of Bella Voce are in grades 9-12 and Bella Fiore in grades 6-8. Anthony Shore’s ‘Christmas With The King’: 17-Dec, 7:30 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $28-$32. Anthony Shore and his All Star band present a festive time celebrating the season with the Christmas songs of Elvis, as well as the year-round classics and favorites. From the singers, to the horns, to the King himself, this is Shores most popular show, selling out at multiple venues. Tai Chi Chuan Intro Classes: 18-Dec, 10:00 AM, Martial Art Fitness Center, 2849 South Broadway, Rochester, $39 . Tai Chi provides benefits for health and vitality, longevity, mind expansion and spiritual health. Tai Chi, as an internal art, is a slow-motion, meditative exercise for relaxation, a slow sequence of movements which emphasize a straight spine, abdominal breathing and a natural range of motion. It is a holistic approach to wellness (including mind, body, and spirit) and concentrates on relieving the physical effects of stress on the body and mind. $39 for 1 or 2 people(2 classes a week for 2 weeks,4 classes total) http:// www.mafci.com/ https://www.facebook.com/ events/1723310197997099/ 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 18-Dec, 11:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. 507-282-8481 The Grinch (Movie & Theatrical Experience): 18-Dec, 12:30 PM, Olde Pine Theatre, 113 2nd ST SW, Pine Island, $5-$6. OLDE PINE THEATRE: ‘Where the movies come alive.’ Come see The Grinch, the movie starring Jim Carey, and experience the live theatrical pre-show with in-person appearances by The Grinch & Santa on stage at the Olde Pine Theatre. There will also be photo opportunity after the movie to take your picture with The Grinch & Santa. Saturday, December 17 & Sunday, December 18 12:30 PM, 3:30 PM, & 6:30 PM Pre-sale Online Tickets Only $5! https://oldepinetheatre. ticketleap.com/grinch/ 113 2nd ST SW, Pine Island, MN 507-491-2639 https://www. oldepinetheatre.com/ Continental Ballet Company Tchaikovskys The Nutcracker Ballet: 18-Dec,

3:00 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 west third street, Red Wing, $13-$30. Priceless gem on the Prairie. TC Luxury and Fashion Continental Ballet Company Tchaikovskys The Nutcracker Ballet A holiday season crown jewel, and now a tradition at the Sheldon! Especially designed for families, this seasoned production tells the timeless tale of Claras fantastic voyage to the Land of the Sugarplum Fairy with her magical godfather Drosselmeyer. With stunning costumes and Tchaikovskys sumptuous score, this fullscale classical ballet production is a treat for all ages. 651-388-8700 The Rochester Civic Theatre Company presents: A Christmas Carol: 18-Dec, 2:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $21-$31. Admission: Adults $31; Seniors $26; Students $21. The Rochester Civic Theatre Company proudly presents Charles Dickens’ classic story, A Christmas Carol. Adapted for the stage by Greg Miller. December 2 through 18, 2016. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 7:00 pm; Sundays at 2:00 pm. A holiday classic for all! Gather for this beloved Christmas story, guaranteed to thrill, amaze, and delight this holiday season. Suggested viewing age: 10 and up Tickets are on sale now: Adults $31; Seniors $26; Students $21 Visit or call our Box Office at 507-282-8481 to purchase tickets, or go to www.rochestercivictheatre. org for more information. The East Metro Symphony Orchestra presents A Season of Stories: 18-Dec, 2:00 PM, East Ridge High School, 4200 Pioneer Drive, Woodbury, $0-$10. Adult $10 Seniors - $7 Ages 17 & Under Free. The East Metro Symphony Orchestra (EMSO), will present the second program of its 2016-2017 concert series, A Season of Stories, a series celebrating different story themes through music. The program, Chapter Two: Holiday Dreams, will be presented in collaboration with the Woodbury Dance Center (WDC), and feature a fresh take on Peter Tchaikovskys The Nutcracker. The performance will take place on Sunday December 18, 2016, at 2:00 p.m. at East Ridge High School, 4200 Pioneer Drive, Woodbury, MN. Tickets will be available at the door or in advance starting November 14th, 2016 at the WDC front desk or on EMSOs website: $10 adults, $7 seniors, 17 and under free. The Nutcracker ballet has long been a staple of the holiday season. Traditionally told through the sumptuous music of Tchaikovsky and ballet, the fanciful tale is the story of a young girl whose favorite Christmas toy, a nutcracker, comes to life with their journey to a magical kingdom. EMSO and WDC will once again present this beloved classic with a new twist, not only presenting the story through classical ballet, but also with contemporary, tap, hip-hop, and other styles of dance throughout the performance. ‘For this special production we get to re-imagine The Nutcracker in a brand new light, by taking advantage of the full range of dance styles that the Woodbury Dance Center teaches, says EMSO Music Director and Conductor Elizabeth Prielozny Barnes. WDC dancers, ranging from elementary to high school age, will be accompanied on stage by EMSOs full symphony orchestra, along with a live rendition of the storys narration. Woodbury Dance Centers Co-Artistic Director, Buffy Johnson Breen, says the concert will be a unique experience for audiences and performers alike, ‘It is an extraordinary opportunity for our dance students to perform with live music - especially a full symphony orchestra!’ A meet-and-greet with all of the concerts performers and refreshments will immediately follow the performance. Three other concerts will be presented in EMSOs A Season of Stories concert series late in the season: Chapter Three: Romance on February 11, 2017; Chapter Four: Generations on February 27, 2017; and Chapter Five: Traditions on May 21, 2017. The first concert in the series, Chapter One: Friendship was presented on November 6, 2016. Visit EMSOs website at www.emsorch.org for more information on all five concerts. A Bella Christmas: Thankful Hearts: 18-Dec, 4:30 PM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, $20 . Experience the transcendent beauty of 130 voices in the Bella Voce Young Women’s Choir and Bella Fiore Girls Choir! Welcoming a chamber orchestra and singing alumni, we sing and rejoice with thankful hearts for our 10th Anniversary Christmas concert. The choirs will perform a full program of favorites, individually and combined ranging from the inspiring Dreaming from Home and a new Norwegian song, Jubilanten, to classics such as This Christmastide, For Unto Us a Child is Born, Wexford Carol, and Beautiful Savior. Our traditional closing Silent Night

The Pines 8 p.m., January 21 - Oak Center General Store We talk a lot in this magazine about matching a band with the right venue, and more often than not, The Pines at the Oak Center General Store come up as a perfect example. Well, here’s your opportunity to see what all this fuss is about, as they open the Winter/Spring season at the Oak Center General Store on Saturday, January 21. This is actually a better match than most because of the time of year. The Pines, David Huckfelt, and brothers Benson Ramsey and Alex Ramsey, play a brand of rootsy folk music that is ready made for a crowd coming in from subzero temperatures. Their slow, quiet songs tend to hang in the air, the notes frozen in place. Between Benson’s haunting vocals, Huckfelt’s patient guitar work and Alex’s keyboard wash, The Pines create music that is warm, intimate, light and enveloping. Their music is both the perfect match and counterpoint for a cold dark night in January. The band released their newest album, Above the Prairie, last February, and it was a high water mark for music in 2016. They’ve since crisscrossed the country playing everywhere from London to the East Village to San Francisco (according to Songkick, the band has logged more than 220,000 miles since they played Oak will certainly bring you to a place of peace, serenity and reflection for the holiday season. Representing communities from throughout SE Minnesota, singers of Bella Voce are in grades 9-12 and Bella Fiore in grades 6-8. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 19-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting,

she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 20-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works

Center last January). Not that they needed much on stage seasoning. Despite the quiet tones, this is one of the best performing bands you’ll find in the Upper Midwest. There won’t be a lot of flash or production (in fact, there won’t be any of that stuff), but the music makes it all a moot point. The experience is that much better at the Oak Center General Store’s performance hall. We’ve written about the room a dozen times in this magazine, but it bears repeating that this is my favorite music venue in Southern Minnesota. It’s a converted Grange Hall, decked out with antiques, vintage theater seats and the odd garage sale sofa. Proprietor Steven Schwen will make his customary ten minute introduction of the band then sit in the back running the sound board while his various dogs and cats wander the floor looking for a stray piece of chicken that has fallen from the potluck buffet, or maybe just a warm lap to nap on. A show at the Oak Center General Store is a truly communal experience, made better by music that fits the room. A Pines show at the Oak Center General Store is just about as good as it gets. – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds,

Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tai Chi Chuan Intro Classes: 20-Dec, 5:00 PM, Martial Art Fitness Center, 2849 South Broadway, Rochester, $39 . Tai Chi provides benefits for health and vitality, longevity, mind expansion and spiritual health. Tai Chi, as an internal art, is a slow-motion, meditative exercise for relaxation, a slow sequence of movements which emphasize a straight spine, abdominal breathing and a natural range of motion. It is a holistic approach to wellness (including mind, body, and spirit) and concentrates on relieving the physical effects of stress on the body and mind. $39 for 1 or 2 people(2 classes a week for 2 weeks,4 classes total) http:// www.mafci.com/ https://www.facebook.com/ events/1723310197997099/ Caregiver Support Group: 21-Dec, 10:00 AM, Elder Network Northgate Shopping Center, 1130 1/2 7th Street NW, Suite 205, Rochester, Free. If you are caring for an older family member, friend or neighbor, heres an opportunity to meet with other caregivers to exchange helpful tips, give and receive support and learn about new resources. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 21-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday,

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The Lion in Winter 7 p.m., January 13 - Rochester Civic Theater The year is 1183, and Henry II, the King of England has received a gaggle of visitors for Christmas. His wife, Queen Eleanor, is essentially on Christmas furlough, having spent the last ten years imprisoned at the King’s order. His three sons, John, Geoffrey and Richard the Lionheart are there, as is the King of France, Philip II (who is ex-husband of Eleanor and, purportedly, Richard’s former lover) and Philip’s half-sister Alais, who has been betrothed to whichever son Henry decides will be his successor. In the meantime, she has become Henry’s mistress. Sounds like your basic Christmas family gathering, doesn’t it? Part history play, part psychological thriller, The Lion in Winter, is the masterwork of playwright James Goldman. It’s a fascinating take on the traitorous, chaotic and oh-so-dysfunctional inner workings of a royal family. Henry is an aging king (hey, in 1183, 50 was old), hence the name of the play. Each of his three sons wants to be the next king. Eleanor had plotted with her three sons to overthrow Henry years ago, which is why she’s now in jail. Pilip is becoming impatient with Henry, because he wants his sister married to the King of England. If that doesn’t work out, there might be war. This is the 12th

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December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make

pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

century after all. One could perhaps present The Lion in Winter as an allegory for the incoming American president, as well. A king with a loose hold on power, surrounded by children who may or may not be trustworthy, a wife who might be his best asset and his greatest weakness, and advisors who don’t trust anyone, particularly each other. Or, maybe I’m just creating scenarios in my head. Yeah, of course I am. Whether there are lessons to be applied to contemporary politics is really in the eye of the theater patron. What we know for sure is that the script is a bonanza for the actors involved. The roles of Eleanor and Henry in particular are fertile soil for great performances. Laurie Helmers as Eleanor and RCT Artistic Director Greg Miller as Henry should be worth the price of admission themselves. The Lion in Winter runs for two weeks at the end of the month. Shake those post-holiday doldrums and go see some outstanding theater. – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

Santa at the Y & Craft Sale: 21-Dec, 5:00 PM, Rochester Area Family YMCA, 709 1st Avenue SW, Rochester, Free. Santa at the Y and Craft Sale. Free event for the entire community to attend on Wednesday, December 21st from 5pm 8pm. Visit Santa & take a photo! Shop Santas workshop that local vendors have helped create. 20% of the sales will be donated to the Ys Annual Support Campaign. Learn more & sign up to be a vendor at www.rochfamy.org. Karaoke: 21-Dec, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday! 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 22-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art

quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around

me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 23-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. ‘At Christmas’ with Mick Sterling: 23-Dec, 7:30 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $28-$32. Mick Sterlings comedic, dramatic and heartwarming show resonates with the spirit of the season. Brilliantly written and performed by three celebrated alumni of the legendary Twin Cities comedy theatre Dudley Riggs Brave New Workshop (Shanan Custer, Michelle Cassioppi and Jim Robinson), At Christmas, celebrates the humor and tender moments that ring true to many families during this special time of the year. A charming combination of traditional Christmas songs and lovely original material, the show is performed by a terrific six-piece band featuring Mick Sterling and Peter Guertin. Good morning Bedlam: 23-Dec, 8:00 PM, Jimmy’s Pub, 406 Main St., Red Wing, Free. Good Morning Bedla is Playing a Christmas show at Jimmy’s Pub in Red Wing Minnesota on December 23rd! Good Morning Bedlam is a quartet from Minneapolis, MN. Although they are classified as a folk band, Good Morning Bedlams music is influenced by many different genres, including bluegrass, jazz, rock and Traditional Gypsy music. We are just four musicians who are deeply passionate about both music and performance. When we play a show we want the audience to be singing, dancing, laughing, and experiencing the same emotions that we sing

about. We want to connect to people, and we love to do that through music. Our songs are stories, and stories bring people together. 21+ / No Cover. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 24-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m..

WEEK of DEC 25-31: 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 26-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When

I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Time Trader Orientation: 26-Dec, 5:30 PM, Rochester Area Family YMCA, 709 1st Avenue SW, Rochester, Free. We have group orientations the 4th Monday of the month at 5:30p.m. at Rochester Family YMCA. Time Trader is an organized exchange network through which members earn Time Credits (TC) for time spent helping other members. One hour of service earns one TC. With TC, members can buy services they want or need. For example, if you give one hour of childcare, you can receive one hour of painting, accounting, transportation assistance, or a piano lesson, and the list goes on.... Tai Chi Chuan Intro Classes: 27-Dec, 5:00 AM, Martial Art Fitness Center, 2849 South Broadway, Rochester, $39 . Tai Chi provides benefits for health and vitality, longevity, mind expansion and spiritual health. Tai Chi, as an internal art, is a slow-motion, meditative exercise for relaxation, a slow sequence of movements which emphasize a straight spine, abdominal breathing and a natural range of motion. It is a holistic approach to wellness (including mind, body, and spirit) and concentrates on relieving the physical effects of stress on the body and mind. $39 for 1 or 2 people(2 classes a week for 2 weeks,4 classes total) http:// www.mafci.com/ https://www.facebook.com/ events/1723310197997099/. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 27-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 28-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public

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4000 Miles 7:30 p.m., January 13 - Rochester Repertory Theatre I’ve never seen 4000 Miles, but I’ve read about it quite a bit. It was written by Amy Herzog, one of the brightest American playwrights working today (although after appearing on the scene with a prolific four plays in four years, she has been quiet since 2013). The play itself is about a young man, 21 years old, who unexpectedly lands at his grandmother’s New York apartment in the middle of the night, having just completed a cross-country bicycling trip from Seattle. While the leftist politics of both characters is a central theme, the play examines the family relationships we take for granted and the unexpected things that can run in common between generations. The 37-year-old Herzog has been hailed as the finest playwright of her generation for her ability to create and capture real nuance in her characters. Indeed, 4000 Miles was a finalist for the 2013 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. The humor in the script should be easily uncovered by director Bill Schnell. This has the promise to be one of the great local productions in 2017. Over here at the plush and secret headquarters of SouthernMinn Scene, we’re really looking forward to it. But there are even stronger reasons to go see it than that. This is my annual reminder to everybody to support local theater. Support the Rochester Rep, The Comonweal in Lanesboro, DalekoArts in New Prague, the Merely Players in Mankato, the Merlin Players in Faribault, the Little Theatre of Owatonna and so many more. Arts are one of the great lynchpins of society. They are our creative outlet, the mirror to society

Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Karaoke: 28-Dec, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday! 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 29-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov.

and an important means of communication. Theater is the art of storytelling, which is as important to the education of society as Universities and mass media. Whether you’re watching a production of Hamlet, a brand new play from a local author, or something like Amy Herzog’s work, you are participating in one of humanity’s most important rituals. We tell stories to learn about ourselves, and theater is one of the best means we have for doing that. When you support local theater, you are supporting remarkable talent. Just because someone isn’t working on Broadway or isn’t directing in the West End that doesn’t mean they aren’t brilliant artists. They just decided to take another path, or were unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to even approach that kind of success. Or maybe they tried, and were not among the less than ½ of 1% who even got a sniff of the Great White Way. There are more brilliant actors, directors and designers than there are slots for opportunity. Some of those left behind are your friends and neighbors. Theater brings community together. It’s a gathering point. It can raise topics of conversation, create necessary civic debate or simply entertain. It creates a shared experience among the audience, cast members and technical staff alike. It can remind us that there is far more that brings us together than separates us. So, go check out 4000 Miles over the next three weeks, and then look into what else is out there that you can go see. Do it for your community, for your friends and for yourselves.

28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. RavensFire: 30-Dec, 5:00 PM, Four Daughters Vineyard & Winery, 78757 MN-16, Spring Valley, Free. The RavensFire band, a Southeast Minnesota band known for their original harmonies and traditional Irish tunes, will be at the Four Daughters Winery on Friday, December 30. The Four Daughters is well known in the area for great food, wonderful wine, and excellent music. Some of your friends are sure to be there enjoying the evening. RavensFire has played dozens of local venues and festivals around the area, including the main stage at Irish Festivals in Emmetsburg, Iowa, La Crosse, Wisconsin, and Rochester, Minnesota. This spring the band was warmly received on a tour of a half-dozen pubs in

Ireland. Their calendar has included performances at house concerts, weddings, theater productions, and area restaurants. Audiences love RavensFire’s versions of traditional songs like Whisky in the Jar and original pieces like the love song Willow Wood. Their new CD features both of these songs and many more. A frequent comment from our friends is ‘You guys look like you’re having fun!’ We are having fun, and we want everyone who comes to see RavensFire to join the fun. For more about the band, check out their website at http://theRavensFireBand.com/ 13th Annual Fabrications: A textiles & Jewelry Show: 30-Dec, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Public Reception to meet the artists: Friday, December 3; 6:00 - 7:15 PM. Wine and light appetizers. come as you are! Ten fiber and jewelry artists will show their diverse works during Crossings 13th annual Fabrications exhibit Nov. 28-Dec. 30. This years show features imaginative pieces of jewelry featuring a variety of gemstones, needlefelted Santa and snowmen framed wall art, coin rings, art quilts and handwoven shawls. These works can be viewed during Crossings’ holiday open hours. A reception is Sat., Dec. 3, 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The reception is free and open to the public; wine and light refreshments will be served, and many artists will be on hand to talk about their work. Mhdlon Madcap has shown her crocheted pieces in past years, but this year her creations are made of amethyst, turquoise, bone and sterling silver. I now find myself firmly on earth working with rocks! she said. I love the variety of gemstones and beads and the endless combinations that are possible. I work with the finest materials to hopefully make pieces that are worthy of legacy status to be passed down in a family. Marit Lomen creates wall art using wool and glass and metal beads. Using the technique of needlefelting, she shapes and forms the wool into figures, flowers, trees and more. Adam McKinney taught himself how to turn coins into rings, experimenting with various coins to create a variety of looks. Enid Gjelten Weichselbaum creates art quilts that manage to contain equal parts of whimsy and elegance. Inspiration for my wall quilts comes from the world around me, she says. Words may leap from a page, a hymn or poem and I see a quilt idea. When I see the line of a fence against tall corn, the very first spring green in the trees on a hillside, freeway ramps wrapped around city buildings, the neighbors barn, the complexity of the center of a flower or the quiet

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sweeping horizontal lines of rich crops on the prairie, I want to preserve these images in fabric. Crossings holiday open hours are in effect through Dec. 23 and are Mon., Tues., Weds, Fri. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sat. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Sun., 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is open Sat., Dec. 24, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Davina And The Vagabonds: 30-Dec, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 west third street, Red Wing, $18-$30. They dare to be different. Davina zips to near impossible heights in a divine declaration of romance Downbeat Magazine An almost New Years Eve Celebration with special guest Caf Accordion Filled with New Orleans charm, Memphis soul swagger, dark theatrical moments that evoke Kurt Weill, and tender gospel passages, this rollicking quintet brings edgy nostalgia to older generations and fresh new music to younger ears. Bringing you 100 years of American music and Davinas originals, Davina and the Vagabonds is making a stir on the national music scene with their high-energy live shows, level A musicianship, sharp-dressed professionalism, and commanding stage presence. 651-388-8700 New Year’s Eve: 31-Dec, 9:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $50 . Ring in the New Year at The Civic! Join us for our New Years Eve Party on December 31, from 9:00 pm to 1:00 am, with big band music provided by Swing Street. This is gearing up to be THE party opener for 2017 dont miss your chance to send 2016 off in style in our black box Studio Theatre. Enjoy champagne and treats at midnight, with a full cash bar all evening. Tickets are $50 per person, and may be purchased on our website at www.RochesterCivicTheatre.org or by calling our Box Office at 507-282-8481.. . 507-282-8481

WEEK of JAN 1-7:

Bad Bad Hats 7:30 p.m., January 28 - The Sheldon Theatre, Red Wing Getting older can be tough (I know, alert the media), but it can be particularly difficult for aging fans of new music. Just because you’re going to turn, say, 48 in 2017, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy music written by people as young as, or younger than, your own kids. Old codgers like me are still allowed to go see these new bands, but I will tell you that it’s tough to do it gracefully. You have to seek them out in places like Triple Rock or The Turf Club up in the Cities, which means a lengthy drive to get there. And generally, they don’t go on stage until 10 or 10:30. I don’t want to say too much about this, but at 10:30 on any given night, the first place you should look for me is in my bedroom or in a prone position on my couch, and I’ll probably be drooling. It’s not very often I’m looking to get things revved up past about 7:45 p.m. these days. So they play until 1 or 2 (in the damn morning), depending on the night and venue, and then you still have to make the lengthy drive home. This of course means you weren’t necessarily enjoying your favorite adult beverages during the show, and the bartender gave you kind of a strange look when you asked her for a cup of coffee around midnight. If it’s a weeknight, you’ll get maybe four hours of sleep before you have to be up for an 8:30 a.m. sales meeting, which is a perfectly respectable time for most people of a certain age, and works fine for the younger people in your office who were out having fun the night before. When you’re a middle-aged music fan, however, that’s makes for a tough morning. But, dammit, when the hell else am I going to be able

to see a band like Bad Bad Hats before they’re opening arena shows for Kings of Leon? The Sheldon Theatre has heard my prayers (or if you really want to call it what it is, whining), and God bless them for it. The gorgeous little theater near the Mississippi River has gone out of their way to bring in some truly outstanding talent under Executive Director Bonnie Schock, and on January 28 as a part of their Great Sounds Series, they are bringing the aforementioned Bad Bad Hats to town for a show that begins at a very respectable 7:30 p.m., and even allows you to sit in a comfortable seat if you’d like. Bad Bad Hats are an indie pop/rock trio from St. Paul, fronted by guitarist/songwriter Kerry Alexander. Their 2015 debut album Psychic Reader created immediate buzz throughout the local music scene and brought them attention across the country. Alexanders songs are both catchy and intelligent (this is a band that formed at Macalester College) after all. The band has developed a reputation for energetic and quirky shows. They are quickly becoming the darlings of the Twin Cities music scene, and have some pretty great expectations tied to them. So, yes, this show is a gift to the grown-ups with discerning musical taste, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go if you’re still in your teens and twenties. Just don’t make fun of the old guys who are having as much fun as you are. – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

New Year’s Snowshoe Hike: 1-Jan, 10:00 AM, River Bend Nature Center, 1000 Rustad Road, Faribault, Free will donation.. Let’s start the year off right! Join one of the naturalists at River Bend Nature Center for a winter walk. Wear snowshoes or boots, and bundle up! We’ll take a scenic one-mile stroll to work off those holiday meals! Shapiro & Smith Dance *: 5-Jan, 7:30 PM, Shattuck-St. Mary’s School, 1000 Shumway Ave., Faribault, $9-$15. ADULTS $15, STUDENTS $9. Since its founding in 1985, Minneapolis- based Shapiro & Smith Dance has earned a reputation for performing tales of beauty and biting wit that run the gamut from searingly provocative to absurdly hilarious. Dancing with breathtaking physicality and emotional depth they have earned an international reputation for virtuosity, substance, craft, and pure abandonment. Quarry Hill Bird Walk: 7-Jan, 9:00 AM, Quarry Hill Nature Center, 701 Silver Creek Rd NE, Rochester, Free. Join us on a casual walk through Quarry Hill Park. Bring binoculars if you have them, some are available to borrow from the nature center. Dress for the weather. Families and children are welcome. Stay for any length of time. Walks usually last about one hour. Free and open to the public no registration required. Bagels and Birds: 7-Jan, 9:30 AM, River Bend Nature Center, 1000 Rustad Road, Faribault, Free. Open to all ages. Cost: Free! Enjoy coffee and bagels in a relaxed atmosphere while watching the antics of wildlife. We’ll meet in the comfort of the building to observe the birds and other visitors to the newly refurbished Windows on the Wild backyard habitat feeding area. Help with identification, fun facts, binoculars, guide books, and conversation will make this a great way to start the day. Bagels and Birds: 7-Jan, 9:30 AM, River Bend Nature Center, 1000 Rustad Road, Faribault, Free. Open to all ages. Cost: Free! Enjoy coffee and bagels in a relaxed

atmosphere while watching the antics of wildlife. We’ll meet in the comfort of the building to observe the birds and other visitors to the newly refurbished Windows on the Wild backyard habitat feeding area. Help with identification, fun facts, binoculars, guide books, and conversation will make this a great way to start the day. Whitesidewalls: 7-Jan, 7:30 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $24-$27. Crossings brings the Whitesidewalls, a fixture in the Twin Cities music scene for 45 years, to the Zumbrota State Theatre. The Whitesidewalls Rock n Roll Revue is a celebration of doo-wop, rockabilly, and rock and roll music that will have audiences dancing in their seats. The band first formed in 1971. More at www.crossingsatcarnegie. com or 507-732-7616.

WEEK of JAN 8-14: Eagle Bluff Skills School - Amish Experience: Pie Making: 13-Jan, 8:30 AM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $55 . Are you a pie lover? If so, then join us to learn the how tos from an experienced Amish baker. As a class, youll create two kinds of seasonal pies from scratch using a wood stove and sample the results with coffee. Not only will you gain insight into the Amish lifestyle, youll create a warm and tasty memory. The class meets at Eagle Bluff and travels via Eagle Bluff van to the Amish home. Note: A half hour of travel time is included at the beginning and end of class. Amish Experience: Homemade Noodles: 13-Jan, 12:30 PM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $50 . Ever wondered what it would be like to live without electricity and modern appliances? This is an opportunity to visit an Amish home, to get to know an Amish family and to learn how to make your very own pasta noodles. Take home a bag of fresh homemade noodles and get to know our local Amish community. Note: A half hour of travel time is included at the beginning and end of class. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 13-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. Amish Experience: Bread Making: 14-Jan, 8:30 AM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $50 . Ever wondered what it would be like to live without electricity and modern appliances? This is an opportunity to visit an Amish home, to get to know an Amish family and to learn how to bake bread in a wood fired stove. After the bread is baked and the butter is made, you will get to enjoy these freshly made foods with a pot of herbal tea. Take home a loaf of fresh baked bread and get to know our local Amish community. The class meets at Eagle Bluff and travels via Eagle Bluff van to the Amish home. Note: A half hour of travel time is included at the beginning and end of class. Eagle Bluff Skills School - Vegetable Ferments: 14-Jan, 9:00 AM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $60 . During Vegetable Ferments youll learn how to prepare fermented foods for health and sustainable food preservation. Youll gain an understanding of the nutritional benefits of fermented foods as well as various fermentation techniques. Enjoy a hands-on experience, gaining kitchen and knife skills along the way. During class youll ferment krauts, condiments and more. Eagle Bluff Skills School - Beer Brewing Basics: 14-Jan, 1:00 PM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $50 . Back by

popular demand for 2017! Would you like to make your favorite beverage in the comfort of your own home? I did, and I learned the hard way. Ill teach you from my mistakes and youll make delicious beer for the very first time! This class is designed for an adult (aged 21+) who has never home brewed before or has been unhappy with their first attempts. We will do all the basics in making a one gallon batch of ale: brewing, fermenting, sterilizing and bottling. Class will start with sampling and learning about beer ingredients. After a hands-on experience with making beer (brewing) participants will get to take home some beer that they bottled themselves. This class makes an excellent gift for the hard-to-shop for person. Up Cycle Blue Jean Rug: 14-Jan, 1:00 PM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $40 . Did that favorite pair of jeans wear out, but you just cant seem to let them go? Now you dont have to! Learn a simple technique to upcycle old jeans into a durable and washable, eco-friendly rug. You can bring your own jeans or use what the instructor provides. No previous crafting skills required. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 14-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. Comedy Hypnotist Show: 14-Jan, 7:00 PM, Stewartville High School, 440 Sixth Ave SW, Stewartville, $10 . Do not miss this hilarious evening of comedy & hypnotizing all in one! Comedian Gabriel Holmes will be performing. This event is a fundraiser for the Stewartville Travel Study Program. Contact Michele Van Bibber (mvanbibber@ssd.k12. mn.us) for tickets. Tickets are $10. Tribute To The Music Of John Denver: 14-Jan, 7:30 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $15-$18. Layne Yost pays faithful tribute to the timeless, still-popular music of John Denver. Jon Shimoda plays bass to accompany Yosts pure vocals and guitar playing in this homage to the music and the man. They capture the simple soul of Denver’s music. Woven within the music are stories that give insight into Denver’s life and legacy. Tickets are $15 in advance, $18 at the door. www.crossingsatcarnegie.com or 507-732-7616.

WEEK of JAN 15-21: Marma Points with Tuning Forks: 15-Jan, 8:00 AM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $95 . Learn how to open your own natural healing balancing processes through stimulating Marma Points with essential oils and specialized tuning forks. Marma therapy is designed to simulate specific vital, invisible junction points between mind and matter. Many of our emotional and physical traumas are trapped in our connective tissues and energy pathways. Marma therapy is a very powerful and effective tool in healing the body and mind of trauma and pain. This class will teach you how to switch open the channels of Prana (life force) through your body. Claudia Schmidt and Sally Rogers: 15-Jan, 7:00 PM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, $20-$24. Accomplished singer/songwriters Sally Rogers and Claudia Schmidt will transfix listeners with silky vocals and masterful instrumentals. The two recently released their CD, We Are Welcomed. These two women have been at the music for four decades, both together and on solo ventures. Schmidt has traveled easily between folk, jazz and theater, and Rogers is well known in the folk world and has created celebrated childrens music as well as writing for community theater. More at www.crossingsatcarnegie.com or 507-732-7616.

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A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c a l e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & C l i c k + A d d a n E v ent

Agape: 18-Jan, 7:00 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $12-$15. Dave Scherer has inspired youth from Brooklyn to Bosnia with his relational ministry Hip Hop Outreach. Performing as AGAPE, he combines rapping, dancing, and storytelling. AGAPE connects listeners with Christian faith, and Scherers energy is contagious. His stories of faith transcend differences. More at www.crossingsatcarnegie.com or 507-732-7616. Parkside Gallery: 19-Jan, 4:30 PM, Charter House, 211 2nd Street NW, Rochester, Free. Art Gallery exhibit opening featuring Patricia Dunn Walker and Anne Black-Sinak Date: Thursday, January 19, 2017 Time: 4:307:00 p.m. Location: Charter House, 211 2nd St NW, Rochester, MN 55901 Admission: Free of charge and open to the public The public is invited to attend Charter House’s ninth art exhibit opening in the Parkside Gallery featuring artists Patricia Dunn Walker and Anne Black-Sinak. The opening will take place on Thursday, January 19th from 4:30 7:00 p.m. This free event will be held in the Parkside ArtGallery located on the 1st floor of Charter House (211 2nd Street NW, Rochester MN 55901). There will be a gallery talk at 5:15 p.m. Refreshments will be provided along with live music by the Cameo String Trio. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 19-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 20-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. Vex Robotics Tournament: 21-Jan, 10:00 AM, Austin Public School gymnasiums, 301 3rd St NW, Austin, Free. Statewide high school robotics teams compete against each other in this amazing event, working towards a place at the state competition. For more information, call 507-437-4563. Eagle Bluff Skills School - Partner Yoga Massage: 21-Jan, 6:00 PM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $50 . This innovative workshop provides you with a playful, enriching and fun way to enjoy yoga, connect with a partner, and together support and stretch each other. In this workshop, Amanda Griggs will guide you and your partner through a flowing sequence of stress-releasing partner stretches, assisted yoga poses, and rhythmic deep tissue massage. Youll work with a partner in both giving and receiving a Thai Massage. This is a nurturing, effortless yoga practice in which your partner moves your body in and out of postures, enticing your muscles into gentle stretches and your mind into deep relaxation. Combined with mindful breath and meditation, you will leave this unique experience feeling relaxed, energized and more balanced. Bring along a friend, significant other, sibling, Mom, Pop, or just someone who downright deserves it! Be sure to wear warm comfortable clothing and prepare for an evening of bliss. No experience is necessary. Note: Each pair needs to bring one yoga mat to class. A limited number of mats are available upon request. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 21-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. Reason to Believe: A Night of Vintage Rod Stewart, with Mick Sterling: 21-Jan, 7:30 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $28-$32. Both Stewarts early solo songs and his work with The Faces were a perfect example of reckless rock and roll. At the same time, the unmistakable, beautiful harmony of guitars and strings fueled his unique soulfulness. Hear Stay with Me, Hot Legs, Every Picture Tells a Story, Maggie Mae, Mandolin Wind, and Gasoline Alley. Crossings brings Mick Sterling back by popular demand after shows paying tribute to Van Morrison and Bruce Springsteen. More at www.crossingsatcarnegie.com or 507-732-7616.

and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. Cinderella: 27-Jan, 7:00 PM, The Historic Paramount Theatre, 125 4th Ave NE, Austin, $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. A Matchbox Children’s Theatre production. Look forward to the funniest and most enchanting version of the magical fairytale - an encore performance due to enthusiastic audience response in the past. Tickets: $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. For more information, go to www.matchboxchildrenstheatre.org or call 507-437-9078. Cinderella: 27-Jan, 7:00 PM, The Historic Paramount Theatre, 125 4th Ave NE, Austin, $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 years and under. A Matchbox Children’s Theatre production. Look forward to the funniest and most enchanting version of the magical fairytale - an encore performance due to enthusiastic audience response in the past. Tickets: $10

Jan 20 for discounted entry fee - go to www. hormelnaturecenter.org/ski-race. For more information, call 507-437-7519. Cinderella: 28-Jan, 2:00 PM, The Historic Paramount Theatre, 125 4th Ave NE, Austin, $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. A Matchbox Children’s Theatre production. Look forward to the funniest and most enchanting version of the magical fairytale - an encore performance due to enthusiastic audience response in the past. Tickets: $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. For more information, go to www.matchboxchildrenstheatre.org or call 507-437-9078. Cinderella: 28-Jan, 2:00 PM, The Historic Paramount Theatre, 125 4th Ave NE, Austin, $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 years and under. A Matchbox Children’s Theatre production. Look forward to the funniest and most enchanting version of the magical fairytale - an encore performance due to enthusiastic audience response in the past. Tickets: $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. For more information, go to www.matchboxchild-

for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. For more information, go to www.matchboxchildrenstheatre.org or call 507-437-9078. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 27-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. Dammen Cross Country Ski Race Fundraiser: 28-Jan, 8:00 AM, Jay C. Hormel Nature Center, 1304 21st Street Northeast, Austin, go to www.hormelnaturecenter.org/ ski-race for more information. Annual cross country ski race with beginner’s/kid race, classical, and freestyle races. Register by

8 T 3 H S ’ ANNUAL N O Y N E K Carriage & Cutter Day

renstheatre.org or call 507-437-9078. Bad Bad Hats: 28-Jan, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 west third street, Red Wing, $13-$20. carefree indie-rock fun. - NPR This up-and-coming indie rock group from Minneapolis is an important new voice in the current music scene. Described by MPRs The Current as surf-rock riffs that married your favorite pop star, the Bad Bad Hats combine folk-pop influences with playful garage-rock styles. Vocalist and songwriter Kerry Alexanders pure voice and poignant lyrics tie it all together for a sound that is both surprising and universal. 651-388-8700 Hosanna’s Pantry: 28-Jan, 9:00 AM, Hosanna Lutheran Church, 2815 57th St NW, Rochester, Free. Hosanna’s Pantry is a satellite food shelf of Channel One food bank in Rochester. A photo ID is required. Coffee and treats are served while you wait to shop. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 28-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major

loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you. John Gorka: 28-Jan, 7:30 PM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, $24-$27. John Gorka delivers everything a folk musician should: His music tells stories, expresses deep emotion, and invites listeners to reflect. The audience is drawn right in to the heart of the music by Gorkas remarkable baritone voice and the clear tones of his guitar. Gorka who is widely regarded as one of contemporary folk musics leading talents (Vintage Guitar), released a CD, ‘Before Beginning’ in 2016. More at www.crossingsatcarnegie.com or 507-732-7616. Cinderella: 29-Jan, 2:00 PM, The Historic

Paramount Theatre, 125 4th Ave NE, Austin, $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. A Matchbox Children’s Theatre production. Look forward to the funniest and most enchanting version of the magical fairytale - an encore performance due to enthusiastic audience response in the past. Tickets: $10 for adults, $6 for youth 14 and under. For more information, go to www.matchboxchildrenstheatre.org or call 507-437-9078. 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 29-Jan, 2:00 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22. After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-yearold Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-yearold grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, and ultimately teach each other. 4,000 Miles looks at how two outsiders find their way in todays world. Humor, honesty and narrative subtlety make this play a rarity a family drama that will really stick with you.

SATURDAY, FEB 25 ALL HORSE PARADE • 1:3OPM

Hundreds of horses & ponies of all breeds!

FOR PARADE REGISTRATION AND mORE INFO GO TO WWW.CITYOFkENYON.COm

WEEK of JAN 22-31: 4000 Miles A Dramatic Comedy by Amy Herzog: 26-Jan, 7:30 PM, Rochester Repertory Theatre, 103 Seventh Street NE, Rochester, $22 . After suffering a major loss while on a cross-country bike trip, 21-year-old Leo seeks solace with his feisty 91-year-old grandmother Vera in her West Village apartment. Over the course of a month these unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder, A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c a l e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & C l i c k + A d d a n E v ent

Special Attractions, located on Main Street starting at 10:00 am, Include: o 10am t 1:30pm

• • • • •

FREE PETTING ZOO & PONY RIDES FREE HORSE-DRAWN WAGON RIDES

Cannon Valley Shriners Clown Club Entertains Booths and Food Vendors Lunch at the VFW from 10:30am-3pm served by VFW Ladies Auxiliary Silent Auction at the VFW from 10am-3pm hosted by the Kenyon Firefighters Ladies Auxiliary. Kenyon Historical Society Tours of M.T. Gunderson House every 1/2 Hour from 11am-3:30pm

HAY RIDES & BONFIRE AFTER THE PARADE SPONSORED BY SCHWEICH’S HOTEL

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| JANUARY 2017

Two greaT experiences, one greaT locaTion!

Shattuck-St.Mary’s

Faribault, MN

FESlER-lAMPERT PERFORMINg ARTS SERIES

*SHAPIRO & SMITH DANCE Thursday, January 5, 2017

The Minneapolis-based dance company, Shapiro & Smith Dance has been wowing audiences since 1985 and has a well-earned reputation for performing provocative, witty, beautiful dance. Dancing with breathtaking physicality and emotional depth, their style evokes virtuosity, substance, craft, and pure abandonment.

*THuRgOOD presented by

anTiques . upscale gifTs . arTisan soaps scarves . cloThing . jewelry kiTchen accessories and more!

Wednesday, February 15, 2017 This powerful, one-man play tracks Thurgood Marshall’s life from childhood in the back alleys of Baltimore to the position of Justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. THURGOOD is an eye-opening, humorous, and uplifting portrait of a true American hero.

ACOuSTIC ROOTS MuSIC SERIES

appeTizers . Burgers sandwiches . wraps . Beer . wine desserTs . ice cream Urban Finds & Bistro locaTed in The medford ouTleT cenTer 5o7.446.o143 . faceBook.com/urBanfindsecofunk

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7 | w w w. s o u t h e r N m I N n SCENE. c o m

lIVINgSTON TAYlOR March 16, 2017 Livingston Taylor’s musical knowledge has inspired a varied repertoire including—folk, pop, gospel, jazz—and goes from upbeat storytelling to touching ballads. His top forty hits include “I Will Be in Love with You” and “I’ll Come Running” among others. His songs “I Can Dream of You” and “Boatman” were both recorded by his brother James. Adults $20 • Students $12

SSM Box Office: 507-333-1620 • www.s-sm.org • feslerlampert@s-sm.org * “This activity is funded, in part, by the Minnesota State Arts Board through the arts and cultural heritage fund as appropriated by the Minnesota State Legislature with money from the Legacy Amendment vote of the people of Minnesota on November 4, 2008.”

All pricing: Adults $15 Students $9 unless noted. All Performances at 7:30pm in Historic Newhall Auditorium

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c a l e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & C l i c k + A d d a n E v ent

Celebrate New Year’s Eve At

on Third Prime Rib Dinner $21.95

Keep Keep Keep Calm Calm THe Calm THe Keep WeeKend THe WeeKend Calm Is ComIng WeeKend Is ComIng

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Free champagne and party favors at midnight!

125 S. 3rd St. • St. Peter • 931-9051 www.patrickson3rd.com

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| JANUARY 2017

BOOK REVIEWS The Bookworm Sez:

America loves her hot sauce

The Bookworm Sez:

Sometimes love isn’t all that, and marriage is like ‘The Fortress’

By Terri Schlichenmeyer All the things you love will be on your table this holiday. Steaming mashed potatoes with a dollop of butter. Turkey or ham, fresh from the oven. Green bean casserole, waiting for the toasted onions. Everything you love, piping hot and, with Hot Sauce Nation by Denver Nicks, you can turn up the heat even more. Picture in your mind the first time someone ate a chili. Denver Nicks imagines it was a cave-teenager who ate the berry, perhaps figuring that if birds could consume chilies, they were safe for anyone to eat. Red-faced, eyes watering, mouth afire, he must’ve turned to his cave-teen buddy who, of course, couldn’t wait to eat one, too. Truly, we love our hot stuff; its sales outdo that of every other condiment these days. We’ve loved it at least since 6000 BCE, which is when chili bits were left behind in a grave. We’ve loved it since Columbus brought chilies to the Old World, thinking they were odd-tasting pepper. We’ve loved it since a bloodthirsty conquistador brought chili By Terri Schlichenmeyer Every good princess needs a castle. It must have turrets and stone steps, a moat and a drawbridge, and a knight in shining armor for that happily-ever-after. It would be just like that, too, if real life was a fairy tale, but in the new memoir The Fortress by Danielle Trussoni, the castle has a dungeon and the knight’s armor is tarnished. They met in Iowa , both of them in writer’s classes. She watched him from afar for a few days; he was handsome and exotic but Danielle Trussoni was married. So, as it turned out, was Nikolai and he, too, was in the process of quitting his marriage. They had a lot in common, loved the same music, shared careers and wanderlust, and he took her heart; mere weeks later, his visa expired and he was sent home to

plants to the America’s southwest in the late 1590s, and Africans brought seeds with them on the Middle Passage. Chilies are measured by the Scoville Heat Unit (SHU), a test created more than a century ago. A regular gardenvariety green pepper rates a rather boring 0 SHU. Tabasco is 5,000 SHU. Capsaicin gets an incinerating 16,000,000 SHU but milder heats are compelling; we can’t get enough of that pain, says Nicks, in part because its burn releases dopamine and can create a thrilling hot-knife illusion for the tongue. Chilies, he says, can also clear the sinuses and bring on a kind of high. Hot-cha-cha. Acquired taste or not, Nicks says that our North American passion for heat is growing. The popularity of Mexican, Indian, and Chinese food, although our versions are “a kind of imitation cuisine,” helps increase the trend toward hot, spicy foods in restaurants and snack foods. The number of near-combustible consumables is increasing, and on a spicy road-trip, Nicks found that regional preferences just feed the need. “Delicious, healthy…” he says about hot sauce. “… how’s that for a miracle food?” Everywhere you go these days, it seems, you can find food that burns your tongue and makes your hands fan. But why now? In Hot Sauce Nation, you’ll see. Spicy food, as author Denver Nicks shows, is addicting and he’s got the science to prove it. He’s also got the culinary history, taking us on a round-the-world tour to Bulgaria. She and her baby son went with him. Shortly after arriving in a country where she didn’t know anyone, Trussoni learned that she was pregnant. Nikolai proposed and though there were niggling red flags in the relationship, she ignored them and married him in a ceremony of words she couldn’t understand. It didn’t take long for things to become rocky. Nikolai was in the habit of telling Trussoni what he thought she wanted to hear, and then doing what he wanted to do anyway. She suspected him of infidelity; he accused her of the same. Money was tight, parenting pressures were heavy, and they fought from Bulgaria to Rhode Island to France where, thinking it might save their marriage, they bought an 800-yearold limestone fortress, and moved in. At first, everything seemed better. Life in a French village was like a storybook but the tale took a turn inside the castle: Nikolai isolated himself. Trussoni admits that she flung hurtful insults at him but then proceeded with plans to renew their vows anyhow, at an ill-planned ceremony that clearly framed everything her heart knew… But does she stay or doesn’t she? I won’t tell because I want you to have the same deliciousness of finding

show how we’ve gone from blah to blasting our palates with flames. Readers who love hot-and-spicy will find themselves wishing they’d been along with Nicks on his road trips; he tried the hottest chilies, spiciest sauces, and took the biggest challenges, and his mouth- (and eye-) watering descriptions makes us want that, too. Alas, there are no recipes inside this book but that won’t matter to foodies or fans of flaming food. If you crave a taste that nearly melts your teeth, Hot Sauce Nation will further ignite your interest. And since having your hot sauce with fats increases its health benefits, you’ll want to add Butter: A Rich History by Elaine Khosrova to your cart. In this book, you’ll learn the history of that which goes on toast and in tarts; how butter is made around the world; how it’s eaten; and its importance to many cultures. Bonus: recipes, so you can enjoy a little extra butter in your meal. Hot Sauce Nation: America’s Burning Obsession by Denver Nicks c.2017, Chicago Review Press$17.99 / $23.99 Canada 198 pages. Butter: A Rich History by Elaine Khosrova c.2016, Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill $23.95 / $32.00 Canada 344 pages. Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

out for yourself. Read The Fortress and see. Beginning with a dreamy scene of longing and jealousy, author Danielle Trussoni lulls readers with a fairy tale and a questionable ending: will there be an Ever After, or will this story end with a screaming, Hollywood-like death of a marriage? We’re offered hints in a near-and-far time narrative – even the fortress seems like a metaphor for her marriage - but that’s no indication of how this drama ends because we’re also reminded that life can be magical, and that anything can happen in a charming and romantic village in France . It’s all like watching a slow-motion rollover on a slick highway: you know what’s coming, but you don’t know, despite it all. There’s some mighty good writing inside this book, and a love story that might not be so lovely but that you won’t be able to tear yourself away from. Start The Fortress, in fact, and you’ll be up all knight. The Fortress: A Love Story by Danielle Trussoni c.2016, Dey Street Books. $27.99 / $32.00 Canada 336 pages. Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

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BOOK REVIEWS The Bookworm Sez:

‘Ghostland’ is a skeptic’s guide to the best ghost stories

The Bookworm Sez:

‘Unlikely Companions’ shows there’s more to life than owning a dog or a cat

By Terri Schlichenmeyer Everything seems a little eerier lately, doesn’t it? Maybe that’s because the days are shorter and nights throw shadows. The wind blows a little differently. Newly-bare branches look like skeletal fingers and pumpkins guard the house next door, making things feel a bit unsettling. ‘Tis the season - or maybe, as in the new book Ghostland by Colin Dickey, history is to blame. Do you believe in ghosts? If the answer is affirmative, you’re in good company; says Colin Dickey, nearly half of all Americans say they do and almost a third of us claim to have seen one. And if we believe in ghosts, it’s natural to tell stories about them; Pliny the Younger did, which means ghost stories have been By Terri Schlichenmeyer Fluffy’s not feeling very well. It’s terrible when a pet gets sick; they can’t exactly tell you what’s wrong but he’s your baby and you know when there’s a problem. You really need to get Fluffy to the vet – but not just any veterinarian. He needs a specialist because, as in the new book Unlikely Companions by Laurie Hess, DVM (with Samantha Rose), little Fluffy isn’t exactly fluffy. Moving out of their apartment was the start of a dream. When Laurie Hess and her husband, Peter, left Manhattan, they knew upstate New York was where they’d put down roots and raise a family. They’d found community there, and the perfect place for Hess to

Louisiana, where hauntings are frightfully common. And yes, he found unexplainable things. “The dead are watching,” he says, “whether or not we choose to listen to their stories.” No two ways about it: things go bump in the night. But according to author Colin Dickey, there might be a perfectly good reason for that. Maybe. And that’s what makes Ghostland so darn fun to read: the maybe inside the stories we love to tell on dark, quiet nights. That maybe here leaves the door open for possibilities – and on that note, Dickey strikes a great balance between too much examination and just-right, between debunking old stories and letting readers decide what’s a haunt and what’s not. He informs us with sometimes-surprising stories-behindthe-story, then leaves us to stew in our own fears. Best of all, you can still take this book to bed with you: it’s factual and even educational, but not so much that it fails to thrill. For readers of erudite eeriness, that makes Ghostland a just right fright. Ghostland: An American History in Haunted Places by Colin Dickey c.2016, Viking $27.00 / $36.00 Canada 320 pages.

around awhile. For “several years,” Dickey traveled the country looking for such tales, and they weren’t hard to find: nearly every town of any size lays claim to some sort of haunting. The real stories, however, are where those legends originated. Take Salem, Massachusetts, for instance. As the tale goes, a small group of teenage girls accused some townspeople of witchcraft, and residents were put to death for it. What’s missing from the legend, says Dickey, is money. Or take the Winchester House in San Jose. Yes, it’s sprawling and weird, but the myth of the spirits of gunmurder victims is not quite right. Sarah Winchester had purchased an unassuming farmhouse and undertook the vast project to make room for visiting family. Says Dickey, “At some point, the perpetual building seems to have become a pretense to keep her family away.” In his quest for the creepy, Dickey spent the night in a mansion once owned by a cursed family (and slept well). He examined a haunted toy store, and a hotel that spawned a novel. He noted that all the ghosts in one haunted area were white, despite that slave auctions happened just down the road. He looked at Indian burial grounds – and, indeed, many moldering old cemeteries and churchyards – including both in

Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

enjoy Unlikely Companions. Tipping the scales with a snake, catching a Nile monitor, boarding a bunny, and finding a “pet” that shouldn’t be a pet, they’re all in a days’ work for author Laurie Hess, as she writes in a memoir that’s part petlover, part personal. That latter angle is great – we get to know Hess and her family well – but let’s face it: the former is why you’d want this book, and Hess doesn’t disappoint her readers. Get ready for stories of an autistic boy and his pets, taste-testing pet food, and a fussy cockatoo. Read about birdbrains, bird brains, and a pig who loves having his nails painted. You’ll laugh about four-footed escapees. You’ll cry for the husband whose wife hates his pets. And you’ll thrill at a mystery that weaves throughout. That makes this perfect for animal lovers of all stripes and scales, fans of dogs to hogs. Furry, purry, or if you’ve got a Fluffy who really isn’t so much, Unlikely Companions is a book you’ll like very well. Unlikely Companions: The Adventures of an Exotic Animal Doctor by Laurie Hess, DVM c.2016, Da Capo Press $24.99 / $32.50 Canada 256 pages.

open her VeterinaryCenter for Birds & Exotics. Iguanas might not seem like your everyday pet, but Hess might see them in a normal workday. Pigs aren’t furry like dogs, but their owners love them all the same. Parrots might not pounce, but they play and can even purr. These are her patients but, says Hess, caring for their owners is half her practice. Sleuthing is likewise an important part of what she does. When car-tire-vs.-turtle happens, she discovered a way to repair the unfortunate victim’s shell. When an adorably tiny piglet grows into a full-bore boar, she knows how to keep that little piggy from going to market. When a dangerous “pet” comes to her clinic, she understands how to stay safe while caring for it. And when a whole herd of beloved area animals were in trouble, Hess leaped to find out why. Comical, active, and popular with kids and adults, doe-eyed sugar gliders were in crisis in Hess’s area: she had five dead patients, no clues, and research showed that the animals were succumbing quickly in many areas of the country. Nothing added up, but in the midst of finding a solution, Hess also found herself immersed in controversy… So you say your pet is unlike any other. Really, really unlike any other, which is why you’ll

Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

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BOOK REVIEWS The Bookworm Sez:

‘Being A Dog’ smells like a good one

The Bookworm Sez:

‘Let Me Out’ doesn’t really do the trick

By Terri Schlichenmeyer Your walk around the block took longer this morning. Something happened overnight and your dog’s nose was on overload. He made you stop here, linger there, pause here, what was he sniffing? Certainly things unsavory, surely things you don’t want to know about and, as you’ll see in Being a Dog by Alexandra Horowitz, a whole lot more. Alexandra Horowitz loves to stare into the faces of her dogs. It’s a kind of bonding when their eyes meet hers, she says, but eyes are not the only way a dog “sees.” Much of what a dog knows filters through the little black button at the end of his snout. It’s common knowledge that a dog’s nose catches scents By Terri Schlichenmeyer Your mind is a concrete block. Behind it, you’re pretty sure there are ideas – great ones, perhaps - but freeing them, well, good luck. You’re stuck, your brain is stuck, your career is stuck, and you wish you could get out of your own way so you can move ahead. So read Let Me Out by Peter Himmelman, and break through the wall. You are never alone. That’s because you always carry an inner critic with you. There’s always someone inside who holds you back by telling you that your ideas are junk, your thoughts are stupid, you can’t do something, or whatever you try won’t work. Himmelman says it’s time to identify and tame that other you. He calls that inner critic Marv: “Majorly Afraid of Revealing Vulnerability.”

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better than does a measly human schnoz. Your dog can smell a storm coming from miles away. Properly trained, he could find bugs, drugs, explosives, dead bodies, missing people, and diseases. Your dog knows how you feel just by how you smell; he knows where you’ve been and what you ate while you were there. And for him, the walk you had this morning was different than the one you had yesterday – even if you followed the exact same route. So what are we missing? Horowitz wondered, too, so she started sniffing high (where smells invisibly waft like clouds) and low (where scents tend to settle). She learned that all humans once knew how to use smell to find their way home, detect disease, and identify friends; and that it’s still possible to utilize full snoot capacity. Horowitz volunteered to identify smells, to see how well she’d do. She talked with perfume and wine experts, visited training centers that teach puppies to find things that are hidden and possibly dangerous, and she learned how much we miss when we aren’t heeding the air we breathe. And the part that really stinks? Says Horowitz, researchers believe our pet dogs are losing their excellent sniffability, just as we once did… Ninety miles a minute. Isn’t that how fast your dog’s Of course, you already know that you can’t let your Marv get the upper hand. The way to start controlling him is to dream big but “specific;” to make exact plans; and to have your own dream, not one that someone else wants for you. Then, know who you are and why you’re here. Those things will guide you. Next, throw out the words “fail” and “succeed.” You will have many chances in your lifetime for both; those words tie you down unnecessarily. Know which phrases are your personal “Elephant Ropes” and try not to let Marv use them. Remember when you once thought you could grow up to become a policeman and a ballet dancer and a veterinarian? Look for that “childlike sense of belief in your ability” and reinstate it; in fact, just learn to play again. Don’t put too much stock in stereotypes: just because you work in an industry that isn’t known for being arty doesn’t mean you aren’t. Use your imagination and see yourself in the position you want to be in, five or ten years from now. Stop seeing challenges as negative instead of a chance to use your creativity. Know how to clear a “logjam” in your mind by occasionally heeding that which goes unnoticed. And finally, gather your “personal posse.” They’ll remind you that it’s okay to make mistakes.

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nose moves, inside or outside, when she smells something interesting? There’s a reason why; Being a Dog explains. For sure, author Alexandra Horowitz goes farther than most authors would, to suss out what we’re missing by not being dogs: her experiments spark both imagination and nose-wrinkling disgust. Definitely, she makes a reader envy the pooch’s proboscis that finds, indentifies, and savors a richer world and scents that, sadly, we’ll never notice. But can we teach ourselves to at least get up to snuff with our sniffler? Maybe; reading about the lengths to which Horowitz goes to find out is funny and icky-truthful. That, plus its wealth of information, makes this book a delight for dog lovers and anyone who enjoys the smell of breakfast, crayons, rich earth, fresh-baked cookies, and yes, even dogs. Behold your pup’s little black nose. Admire the leathery scales, the wet softness, the curve of it – and then read on for a full appreciation. Being a Dog is one great book to sniff out. Being a Dog: Following the Dog Into a World of Smell by Alexandra Horowitz c.2016, Scribner $27.00 / $36.00 Canada 336 pages. Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

Creative. The word is right there on the cover of this book. Alas, help on that front isn’t necessarily what you’ll find inside Let Me Out. Author Peter Himmelman, himself a founder of a business, offers readers a lot of rousing advice to help focus on dreams, which is wonderful and useful if you’re just starting out. That has little to do with being more creative, however; the “creative” part of the book comes later and is diluted by more U-Rah-Rah. Add in unnecessary cutesy replacements for business buzzwords and “Brain Bottle Openers” that seemed awkward and, well, I spent a lot of time sighing while reading this book. Now, having said that, I think it may be valuable for a new graduate, a new entrepreneur, or a brand-new hire who needs focus and inspiration. That’s where this book might shine. As for creativity, though, Let Me Out only cements frustration. Let Me Out: Unlock Your Creative Mind and Bring Your Ideas to Life by Peter Himmelman c.2016, TarcherPerigee $23.00 / $30.00 Canada 240 pages. Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

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BOOK REVIEWS The Bookworm Sez:

‘Twenty-Six Seconds’ is a nice story that clears nothing up

The Bookworm Sez:

‘Wild and Precious Life’ is irritating, raw and very powerful

By Terri Schlichenmeyer Point and click. These days, it’s that easy: there’s a camera on your cell phone and a cloud for your photos. No more film to buy, or plastic flash bulbs. No more waiting a week for your pictures; you can see them immediately and delete what you don’t want. But be careful – as you’ll see in Twenty-Six Seconds by Alexandra Zapruder, some snaps may have lasting significance. Though she never knew her grandfather, Alexandra Zapruder understood that he’d done something noteworthy. When people remarked on her surname, or asked if the family was related to the man who captured the Kennedy assassination on film, Zapruder adults answered politely but otherwise rarely discussed the matter. By Terri Schlichenmeyer Sometimes, you just have to let go. Sentimental possessions have no room in a new home. Once-favorite clothing no longer fits. A raggedy gift needs replacing, and old hurts stand in the way of a new day. And sometimes, as in the new book Wild and Precious Life by Deborah Ziegler, you let go of someone you love. For the first many years of her daughter’s life, it was just the two of them: Deb Ziegler and her only child, Brittany. They were a pair, and did everything together: every choice, every decision Ziegler made, every move was with “Britt” in mind. But as Brittany became a teenager, the inevitable mother-daughter conflicts arrived, though they seemed to be worse than what Ziegler understood was normal.

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That man, Zapruder’s grandfather, Abe, was born in 1905 in the Ukraine and immigrated to America when he was a teen. It was a trip that was not without dangers; still, Zapruder says her grandfather grew up to be a confident go-getter who ultimately owned a clothing business in Dallas. That was his work but photography was his passion. On November 23, 1963, Abe told his employees that they were free to take a long lunch to watch as President Kennedy’s entourage drove past their building, and he left to retrieve the new film camera he’d forgotten that morning. Shortly after he returned to work with camera in-hand and film loaded, he asked another employee to help steady him so he could get the best footage. Twenty-six seconds. That’s all he caught. Within minutes, he was offered big money for the footage, but Abe resisted, insisting that he’d only release it to government officials; days after that, he controversially opted to release it to LIFE magazine. In coming months, when asked to do so, he answered questions and testified in court, in regards to the footage. And then he put the matter aside, reluctant to speak of it again. It drove Ziegler to therapy, until she understood that she needed to let sixteen-year-old Brittany go. She allowed her daughter to quit high school for an accelerated college program, and she helped Brittany find an apartment. And Ziegler, newly married, let her daughter find her footing in volunteerism and world travel. Their relationship improved. Brittany grew, matured, married, and was looking forward to the future when, in early 2013, she was rushed to the hospital with a debilitating headache. There, doctors discovered a brain tumor and they were optimistic but by midspring, it was obvious that the tumor was more aggressive than they’d thought. Brittany had received a “death sentence”; the tumor that doctors believed had been there for a decade would kill her in less than a year. Her pain was great but because she was a take-charge type, she decided to move to Oregon, to take advantage of that states’ Death with Dignity (assisted suicide) laws. She made Ziegler promise to help. And in mid-2014, Ziegler’s beloved only child chose a date to die… At one point in her story, author Deborah Ziegler writes that Brittany demanded that Ziegler stop calling her “Sweet Pea.”

But, of course, that wasn’t the end of the film. “There would be no end to it,” says author Alexandra Zapruder but the footage’s afterlife was a contentious one. In Twenty-Six Seconds, she elaborates. Beginning with Zapruder’s reasoning for telling this story, readers will gain a unique perspective on this iconic sliver of celluloid, but that tale is marred by passages of recreated emotions and conversational bits. Yes, that moves this story along but recreated scenes as such are inherently fiction. Clarity matters here – was the information from interviews or was it meant to set a scene? – and it would have helped a lot. And yet, though it can absolutely be quite wordy, there’s enough family research and personal insight in this book to keep it readable and relevant. It’s been 53 years since the film was captured; it seems that we can never know enough about it. I think that if you want nothing but hard facts, pass. If you’re still fascinated with Camelot and conspiracy, then this book belongs on your bookshelf. Fall in the latter camp, and Twenty-Six Seconds is a book you should make a point to own. Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

I wanted that, too. There’s too much Honey-SweetieBaby in this book for me, and way, way too many recreated conversations for a non-fiction book. And yet, A Wild and Precious Life may be one of the most powerful things you’ll read this year. Here’s why: there’s a story beneath the story you get. Ziegler tells the tale of a mother’s grief and a daughter’s life, that’s true, and it alternates between nearly unbearable and soaring-high joy. We meet Brittany, and there are times when we don’t like her but Ziegler keeps bringing us back to see what she saw. Under this narrative, though, is another, darker one. It’s a tale of dying-too-young, a wish for those facing terminal illness, a need for doctors to listen and, perhaps, the future of death in the U.S. This book can be raw and its flaws may be irritating, so I don’t think it’s for everyone. If you’re willing to wait for its strengths (and cry yourself senseless), however, you won’t want to miss it. Start A Wild and Precious Life, and you won’t want to let it go. A Wild and Precious Life by Deborah Ziegler c.2016, Emily Bestler Books / Atria $26.00 / $35.00 Canada 352 pages. Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

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| JANUARY 2017

Sports BALL

KARLEE KANZ Karlee Kanz is a freelance writer in Southern Minnesota. Contact her at editor@southernminnscene.com.

Minnesota

Nice

His name was Blair Walsh.

the Minnesota Vikings almost won their playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks, but Blair Walsh did his thing. Speaking of my most favorite kicker, we released him so there is another tally in the ‘ups’ column! May 2017 be filled with more happiness, compassion, Devan Dubnyk. stolen s it just me or are you elated and overjoyed that bases, 2016 is almost done? The closest thing I can touchcompare 2016 to is if you were on a rollercoaster downs, at an amusement park, and its on fire, and cracker you’re on fire, the whole amusement park is on jacks, fire actually, because you’re in hell, and when goals the rollercoaster finally stops, you get out, the (both floor falls out from underneath you, and you fall into the a dumpster, which is also on fire. The whole damn sports world is fire. We’ve lost a lot more than what we’ve term and gained, that’s for sure. But everything has a silver setting lining, right? your ....right? own Minnesota sports this year has been abysmal, goals), I could go as far as say deplorable (I can use that wing word without offending anyone, right?). Just when WednesTeddy before the fall. you think things are looking up, someone pulls the days, 2 rug from underneath you, or you just trip and fall for 1’s, at a pre-season practice during a routine pass and more debuted their brand new home, US Bank Stadium dislocate your knee and tear your acl (I’m looking at you, Teddy cheers and it actually doesn’t look as obnoxious as I Bridgewater). Shit happens, I guess. Because sometimes after than thought it would. The Minnesota Twins weren’t the you think you’re down and out, your team (Vikings) opens jeers, the worst team in baseball! (Yay? Small victories?) and the 2016-2017 season winning 5 games in a row. But in true bigger Brian Dozier, the lone bright spot for the Twins in 2016. they recently just hired Michael Cuddyer, LaTroy Minnesota sports fashion, in a yin and yang type situation, they number Hawkins, and Torii Hunter to work for them. Getting went on to lose the next 6 games, because we can’t have nice in the the band back together never felt so good. The Minnesota Wild things or catch a dang break. W column, and most importantly, more sports. Because even if made the play offs (again!) and are looking to be a very good I am sorry for being a Debbie downer, there has been a lot of your favorite sports team isn’t doing so well, it’s still your sports ups in the Minnesota sports world, too! The Minnesota Vikings contender in the 2016-2017 season, and let us not forget that team, dangit. Wear those colors proud, no matter what. Karl Anthony towns was the NBA rookie of the year.

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CD REVIEWS By Sarah Osterbauer editor@southernminnscene.com

Jeanne Taylor’s powerful throwback movement

he Twin Cities is not lacking in music, nor is it lacking in bands that find success across a number of genres, yet, there’s a noticeable gap when it comes to good old Top 40 pop music. This is where Jeanne Taylor comes in. With a voice that rivals any of the Selenas and Demis dominating the charts, Jeanne has put out a debut EP that begs to be noticed. Coming from a musical family (her father was discovered by Prince), she was destined to make a splash with her own talents. Singing and songwriting came to her early on as she recorded demos at age 12. Native to St Paul, once her father heard her songs, he reached out to his industry contacts. Since then she’s recorded with country star Bryan White and splits her time between Minneapolis and LA, where she recorded her debut. On board to help her hone her sound were producers Oliver Leiber and Khris Riddick Tynes who have worked with the likes of Meghan Trainor and Ariana Grande, and it shows. Jeanne opens with “Fight For Me” a sentiment that nearly every woman has felt at some point in her life. The desire to find a partner who will protect and defend on a whim, in the face or real or perceived threat is common want in any relationship. Many of Taylor’s songs follow this thread, navigating relationships, trying to fight through the uncertainty of reciprocal feelings and ultimately the struggle of living in a body with a heart that wants what it wants. Taylor’s voice is stellar, strong and smooth. The production adds a layer of

brassiness that works for the songs but you can tell isn’t necessary to camouflage her natural sound. It makes you wish they pulled the effect back more to let her rawness shine through, something we can perhaps look forward to in the future. “Damn In Love” is the one of two slow jams on the album, a nod perhaps to Bey’s “Dangerously In Love”, similar in theme and style. The album closes on the second, “End of an Era” a piano ballad that finally gives the listener a taste of what Jeanne’s voice sounds like sans autotune. “L.A Night” is a dancey disco groove with Ke$ha flavor. It describes an evening out in LA through the eyes of a midwestern girl still getting used to the city lights. The production is heavy and glossy, with all the makings of a Top 40 hit. Jeanne is a collection of pop-R&B jams that utilize classic pop elements reminiscent of early 2000’s era pop (Oops - Britney, pre-Xtina, akin to Tina Arena or Jennifer Paige). They recall a moment when Top 40 was absent of horns everywhere and silly add-on star power rap verses. These songs are immediately relatable, easy to digest. They’re the thoughts and feelings of every 20-something young woman grappling with the confusion of navigating premature relationships that resemble something that feels like love, or what you think you know of it at that age. As much as I love our hip hop scene, our bluegrass scene, our throwback scene, our folk scene, I would love to see a pop scene emerge in this town. Let Jeanne Taylor be the guide. Let her be the leader of that movement. Sarah Osterbauer is the SouthernMinn Scene music columnist and critic. She loves to meet the people who make the city’s heart beat (and sometimes break). Follow her on twitter @SarahOwrites.

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Deciding if a career change is for you

hile losing weight and quitting smoking remain among the most popular New Year’s resolutions each year, many more people resolve to change careers at the dawn of a new year. Changing careers is a significant step, especially for men and women who are firmly established in their fields. A career change can be just as rewarding and life-changing as losing weight or quitting smoking, and there are some things professionals might want to consider before resolving to change careers in the new year.

Changing careers vs. switching jobs Changing careers and switching jobs are not the same thing, and some people may want the former while others may only be in need of the latter. A full-fledged career change may require returning to school and a willingness to start from the bottom. A job change typically allows professionals to stay in their fields and move on to another position, whether it’s with their existing employer or with another company.

Career trajectory The direction of a person’s career may also influence whether or not they want to make a career change. Established professionals mulling a career change should consider their willingness to start anew. Many mid-career professionals have worked for years to establish themselves in their fields and within their companies. Switching careers does not mean that experience and reputation is invaluable, but neither attribute may carry as much weight in a different line of work, and that can affect career trajectory and future earnings.

Effects on others Established professionals must also consider the effect that a career change may have on their families. Married mid-career professionals should discuss changing careers with their spouse, and even their children if the kids are old enough to understand. Discuss the pros and cons of changing careers and the impact that making such a change may have on your family’s daily life. Will the family have to

move? Will the family lifestyle change dramatically, if at all? Spouses and children may feel better about the change knowing they were involved in the decision, and talking things through with family may help working professionals determine if changing careers is the best decision for them.

Long-term goals Long-term goals are another thing to consider before making a career change. That’s especially true for mid- or latecareer professionals who may already have made significant progress toward achieving their long-term goals. Discuss long-term goals with your spouse or significant other and how changing careers might affect those goals. Long-term goals can change, and while the ability to realize those goals might not weigh heavily in your decision regarding a career change, understanding how such a change might affect your retirement or other late-life plans can only help you make the most informed decision possible. Many people resolve to change careers at the dawn of a new year. But such a decision requires the careful consideration of a host of factors.

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KEVIN KREIN

The BEARDED LIFE

An expert at grief and how to deal with it in unhealthy ways, Kevin Krein has written ‘The Bearded Life’ for three years. He’s operates the award winning music blog Anhedonic Headphones, and is a contributing writer to Bearded Gentlemen Music. He may be best known for being a cool rabbit dad. Follow his unhealthy tweets: @KevEFly.

He’s just so surprised. RIP Hans Gruber.

Every Love Story is A Ghost Story

2016

was a year that took more than it gave. Because, as yet another wretched years concludes, what, exactly, if anything, do we have to show for ourselves? No. Whatever we may have gained this year pales in comparison to what, and in many cases, who, we lost. A joke that made the rounds on the internet, very early on in the year, was that 2016 had been written by George R.R. Martin—a reference to the constantly growing body count of notable names: revered actors and directors, an influential playwright, and iconic musicians; it turned out that nobody was safe. Out of all the celebrity deaths in 2016, those of David Bowie, Prince, and Malik Taylor (aka Phife Dawg of A Tribe Called Quest) impacted me the most—and Alan Rickman, too, I suppose. I always did have a fondness for watching Hans Gruber falling off of Nakatomi Plaza in slow motion. You grieve for musicians or actors because, through their work, you feel like you knew them— but you don’t actually know them. You will simply miss what they contributed to your world. But what happens when death touches somebody you actually know? How to you process that, and how do you grieve for them and what they’ve lost? How do they grieve for themselves? *** On a Monday afternoon, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and happened upon a shared post from the group Minnesota United—an organization that uses social media to locate missing people. The post contained four photos of a face I recognized—a young woman with whom I was acquainted, and had been for a number of years. At this point, she had been missing for around 48 hours. It was a surreal, unnerving feeling, seeing the collage of four photos, her face in each of them looking directly at the camera, and in that moment, staring right back at me, asking for help. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening in a bit of a daze, trying to piece together any information I could—checking the Minnesota United page for additional news, and looking at her own personal Facebook page, which was being flooded with posts from concerned friends. The following morning, the original United post had been updated. Her body had been found. This cast a very long, confusing shadow over my day. The Associated Press states you should refer to something like this as “died by suicide,” but even after two years of writing for a newspaper, I was

never very good at adhering to AP Style. When something like this happens, you want it to open the door to a larger discussion about mental health, but it also leaves you with a lot of questions that nobody will be able to answer. I had fallen out of touch with this young woman— like I have with so many other people. I knew her when she was a teenager so I have no idea where she was in life, the kind of person she had grown up to be, and most importantly, the kind of pain she was in. We are all struggling. We all have some kind of radiant darkness inside, and we are all trying our hardest not to let it overtake us. And in the end, when she made the decision—the one you can never take back, all I could hope for is that she was no longer afraid, and that she no longer felt alone. My wife reminded me that when something like this occurs, that the person probably felt both of those things. *** Nearly six years ago, their first dog passed away from bladder cancer. After a short time living in silence, as those who live with companion animals often do, they open their hearts up again—they adopted another Sheltie. Her name was Ciera. She was probably around five or six when they brought her home. She had a lot of personality and energy; she was very smiley, and due to the way her fur was colored, blended, and matted, it always looked like she was wearing a tiny pair of glasses around her bright eyes. When we would visit our friends, Ciera would humor me as I tried to take her photo; she would sit with me while I patted her on the noggin or gave her a hug. There was a time in my life when I used to be afraid of dogs, or at least, nervous around them. And I credited Ciera with helping me become more comfortable around them and understand them better. Time is kind to nobody and your body eventually betrays you. Your hair turns gray. You can no longer digest certain foods the way you were once able to. The same thing happens to animals. She was getting older—around 12 at this point. She was arthritic and she had started to lose her hearing. The end arrived very suddenly. She became sick, and was diagnosed as having tumors on her kidneys and adrenal gland. At the time of the diagnosis, the veterinarian gave her 48 hours to live—she made it a week and a half before they had to let her go. The pain became too much for her; it became too much for them. *** I’ve known him for over 20 years. We grew up

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together in rural Illinois and now people find it quaint that we both live in the same state again, a half hour apart. They had been trying to conceive for a while, and his wife became pregnant in the spring. Twelve weeks in, they go to a routine appointment. The doctor struggles to find a heartbeat at first using a Doppler device, so they begin an ultrasound. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. “There’s no word in the English language to describe a parent who has lost a child,” she tells me. “We have words like orphan and widow, but nothing for losing a child. I think that’s because Ciera the dog. once you’re a parent—even if your child dies—you never stop being a parent.” She tells me that, now, she is trying to identify as a parent that doesn’t have any children. *** Earlier in the year, I was told about the theory of ‘chronic sorrow,’ medically defined as a “pervasive psychic pain and sadness, stimulated by certain trigger events, which follows loss of a relationship of attachment.” Some people never really learn how to grieve. They never move forward. The years pass, and it is still a nearly impossible balancing act—the happy memories they are told to think about will quickly, without warning, turn sad. The tear that always is on the verge of falling. My childhood friend and his wife—within weeks of losing their child—a boy—they had moved to a new city, and she accepted a new job. Both of these things she cites as having kept them distracted from what occurred. “It helped us move on instead of feeling stagnant in the grief,” she said. In the days leading up to Ciera’s decline and eventual passing, her family was preparing for a cross-country move. I asked my friend, Ciera’s

“dad,” if he felt their change helped him in any way. He disagreed. “I think the only thing that the circumstance might have helped is that I have been so busy over the past few months that I haven’t been able to sit still and fully process it all,” he tells me. “I’m not sure if that is a good thing, though. I still wish she was here, and probably always will.” *** I first heard the phrase ‘Every Love Story is A Ghost Story’ a few months after my best friend died. It’s an expression David Foster Wallace used in correspondences he had with others. It also turns up a number of times in his published works— one of the only phrases he reuses. One can only surmise what D.F.W. liked about the expression, or where he originally heard it; the internet attributes it to novelist Christina Stead. I first heard the phrase ‘Every Love Story is A Ghost Story’ a few months after my best friend died. It took me a while, but I eventually figured out what it means.

D.F.W.

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