A Voice

OXFORD DICTIONARY DEFINITION

Noun

Otherwise known as, inner speech or internal monologue. The silent expression of conscious thought to oneself in a coherent linguistic form. Refering to a person’s inner voice that provides a running monologue while we are awake.

In bed, awake. It’s 2:30am and the rest of the house is asleep.

The beaming light from the lamppost shines through the little gap in the curtain, lighting up one corner of the bed. The world seems empty and silent, except for the distant humming of the washing machine downstairs. Theres nothing except the thoughts in your head keeping your awake. Tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable, thoughts whizzing around. Everything you’ve done today, every word, action and joke stands out, ready to be analysed. The chitter-chatter gradually getting louder and louder. That’s when the self doubt kicks in...

It’s called over thinking. When you think too much, instead of acting and doing things, you are overthinking. Everybody does it. Some of us are better at overthinking than others. The intensity of thoughts running around your head, unable to stop them, causes serious anxiety. We begin to question our behaviour, our thoughts and feelings, usually because somewhere deep inside we don’t feel good enough. It consumes your energy, disables your ability to make good decisions, and puts you on a loop of thinking over and over again. For some, overthinking can be caused by caring too much about what other people think. Most people want to be liked by those around them and rather than being genuine, you labor to create an image that you think people will find appealing. In the process, you compromise your authentic self, gradually becoming less honest, less natural, less “you.”

When you find yourself being self-conscious or worried about what someone else may think of your choices, remember that you’re likely blowing things out of proportion. You’re most likely, overthinking the entire situation. What’s important, is that you listen to yourself. If there is a behaviour you are trying to change (overthinking), be it large or small, listen to what you’re inner voice. You could be the only person/voice standing in your own way. Thinking is good. Overthinking is bad. It can end things, before they even get the chance to develop. Realise that thinking once, or a just a few times is enough. It leads you nowhere thinking over and again the same thoughts. You need to make a decision and act.

Next time you’re struggling because you’re overthinking a situation. Take a step back. Get out of bed, switch on the light and tell yourself you don’t need to overthink this situation. Tell yourself you’re good enough just the way you are. Tell yourself three personality good traits about yourself. Then take a deep breathe and get back into bed. If you can master self love first, the overthinking will eventually fade.

“You wouldn’t stand in a field of flowers and tell the peonies they won’t ever be beautiful until they look a little more like forget-meknots. So why my love, do you tell yourself the same thing? No wrong way to have a body” - S.R.W

“You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologise for mistakes. Apologise for unintentionally hurting someone. But don’t apologise for being who you are” - D.Laporte

“You are not the first flower of spring. You are a garden of desires. A vast nebula, the moon, the sun. A lucid dream” - Priscilla Serrano

“No amount of regret can change the past. No amount of anxiety can change the future” - N.Salmon

“Let yourself, be silently drawn, by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray” - Rumi.

“You owe yourself the love, you so freely give to other people” - Unkown.

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways” Sigmund Freud

“I like you; your eyes are full of language” - Anne Sexton.