2025 Edition One

Farrago

vol. 100, ed. 1 est. 1925

ABOVE WATER RETURNS!

Enter the annual creative writing competition and anthology. CATEGORIES INCLUDE:

Prose: Genre Fiction, Literary Fiction, Creative Non-Fiction

Verse: Formal poetry and Free Verse

Other: Experimental, hybrid, playscripts, ergodic, etc.

Winners and Shortlisted competitors will be published in the print anthology.

Email all submissions to abovewater@farragomagazine.com

Please ensure your name does not appear in your piece (use an alias if you must). All submissions must state in SUBJECT LINE: Category, Title, Word/Line Count, UniMelb student number & optionally: if the piece’s subject matter concerns a marginalised experience, you may disclose whether you belong to the relevant group.

Word limit: 1500 prose, 50 lines of verse.

Applications close: 21 July 11:59 pm

FARRAGO EDITION 2 SUBMISSIONS OPEN

We’re looking for unique pitches, puzzles, short stories, visual art, journalism & basically anything printable.

Email all submissions/pitches to editors@farragomagazine.com!

Deadline: 4 April 2025 11:59 pm

FARRAGO APPLICATIONS

is

This magazine is made from 100% recycled paper. Please recycle this magazine after use.

on recycled

by Kosdown Printing. Please recycle this magazine.

Farrago is the newspaper of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU). Farrago is published by the General Secretary. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of UMSU.

Farrago is the newspaper of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU). Farrago is published by the General Secretary. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of UMSU.

POSITIONS AVAILABLE: Photographers, videographers, graphic designers, visual artists, cartoonists, puzzle writers, reviewers, reporters, staff writers, subeditors, events coordinators, archive researchers, columnists

Applications close: 21 March 11:59 pm https://farragomagazine.com/join/

LISTEN TO FODDER

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If you want to raise an issue with the union and with the university, please contact the President and General Secretary.

If you want to raise an issue with the Union, contact the President and General Secretary at president@union.unimelb.edu.au and secretary@union.unimelb.edu.au respectively.

president@union.unimelb.edu.au secretary@union.unimelb.edu.au

Farrago

printed

paper

Sustainable dying: can the funeral industry really reduce its environmental footprint?

Nikki Richardson

New VC, Same Old Problems: Emma Johnston replaces Duncan Maskell as Vice Chancellor Mathilda Stewart

Australian Universities Embrace Controversial New Definition of Antisemitism

Ibrahim Muan Abdulla

“You Spray, You Pay” the City of Melbourne’s new policy cracking down on

Choose Your Own Adventure Unimelb Undergrad

Aaron Agostini, Bella

48 Inside David Lynch’s Dream: Fire Walk with Me

Aditi Acharla

Confront Your Catholic Guilt with Conclave

Kirstin Abustan

High and Dry: Babygirl Disappoints

Angela Nacor

25 Movies for 2025

Angela Nacor & Lachie

25 Albums for 2025

Dom Lepore & Felix O’Kane

56 Inside the Generational Rebrand of Addison Rae

Zeinab Jishi 60

Laneway 2025: Is it brat to be a brat?

Sabine Pentecost

Satire

Anonymous <3 & Aaron Agostini

Farrago 100: A Century of Student Media

Tom Weir-Alarcon

Puzzles

LF, Ava Vu & Sophie He

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY

Farrago is produced and published on the stolen lands of the Wurundjeri and Boonwurrung peoples of the Kulin Nation. Sovereignty was never ceded. We pay our respects to the Traditional Owners of this land and to all the lands on which our University operates: the homes of the Wurundjeri, Boonwur-

rung, Yorta Yorta and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples.

We acknowledge the University of Melbourne is an inherently colonial institution, built not only on stolen land physically, but on the systemic exclusion of Indigenous peoples and Indige-

nous systems of knowledge. As the University’s student publication for 100 years now, we recognise our complicity in such systems and strive to actively resist and unlearn colonial ideologies, both our own and the University’s. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land.

EDITORIAL

The inaugural editorial of Farrago, printed on 3 April 1925, reads that ‘Farrago represents an attempt to infuse new zest into University life.’

You will have noticed that this year’s first edition looks and feels different. For over a decade, we’ve embodied a pristinely bound literary magazine. This year, in the spirit of the first editorial from 1925, we’re opting for a more lightweight and hopefully more approachable format reminiscent of past editions, which have inspired our own zest.

As the 100th cohort of editors, we have commenced our term in a historical mood. No doubt, in one or two decades, a particularly obsessive editor will read this editorial and, as we have, commiserate over the role’s perennial precarity, in solidarity with hundreds of their forebears.

Student publications occupy the contested intersection between universities, journalism and the arts. Indeed, many students begin their journalistic and creative careers in these pages.

Last year, in accordance with a recent downward trajectory, Australia ranked 39th in the RSF’s World Press Freedom Index. From corporate consolidation, to meagre legal protections and the present decay of journalistic and artistic freedoms, we are concerned about the industry (and the Australia) into which we as writers, and as a publication, are entering.

While we are proud to be Farrago’s centennial editors, a century is only so impressive in a settler colony such as Australia. Our commemoration is made possible by the continuous preservation of Farrago’s history. We oversee a publication which has been employed as a primary historical source and likely will be again. Therefore, we are hypervigilant to what has been omitted from the physical archive and public memory, and what is not permitted to be documented at all.

Our university manufactures legacies from progress it contemporaneously opposes. As editors, we question why resistance must first be historicised before its animating sentiments are deemed legitimate.

Sophie, Muan, Mathilda, Marcie

Covers: Nathan Pham, Angela Nacor, Chiaki Chng (photography team)

Subeditors: Emily McFarlane, Lucy Fan Xu, Helani Munidasa, Emily Couzins, Erin Ibrahim, Ren Richards, Audrey McKenzie, Lachie Carroll, Bridget Collier.

Managers: Angela Nacor & Nathan Pham (Photo/Video), Chiaki Chng & Lucy Brownlie (Social Media), Hallie Vermeend & Bronte Lemaire (Creative), Maria Quartel (News & Design), Azalea Rohaizam, Lauren Williams & Silas Mitchell (Radio Fodder), Madeleline Barrett (Non Fiction), Hayley Yeow & Ruby Weir-Alarcon (Reviews), Nicole Fernandes (Events), Tom Weir-Alarcon & Pamela Piechowicz (Archives).

The editors love: Mary Kin Chan, the Clyde, Kosdown Printing, A1 Bakery, Intersection Cafe, Heart of Carlton, Ida Bar, Bluegum Merch, the NTEU, the team at the Rowden White Library and George Paton Gallery, Castro’s Kiosk, Troppo Print Studio, and every editor and contributor past and present.

Your 2025 editors are Mathilda Stewart, Sophie He, Ibrahim Muan Abdulla, and Marcie Di Bartolomeo.

In memory of 2022 Honi Soit editor Khanh Tran, 1996-2025

STAND UP, FIGHT BACK!

Ivy Pierlot, 2025 UMSU Queer Office Bearer

Content Warning: transphobia, sexual violence

President Donald Trump’s recent sweep of executive orders in the United States have caused great fear for queer people across the globe.

Amongst a host of other policy changes targeting the queer community, Trump is forcing trans women into men’s prisons and leaving them vulnerable to v-coding, attacking the capacity of trans people to travel, and has banned gender affirming care for people under nineteen, not just minors.

All of these changes come at a time when various other jurisdictions are attempting to ban gender affirming care in its entirety for all people. This is erasing trans people — this is eliminating our existence.

As a trans kid, I got on the Royal Children’s Hospital’s waiting list at fourteen and was able to access hormone replacement therapy (HRT) when I was seventeen. It was way too long a waiting list, but at least I was able to access it, something that trans kids in Queensland don’t have the privilege of. My life was changed in a way that saved my life. I was able to actually be me, be happy and two years later, my body is becoming more and more the way I want.

My life was saved by gender affirming care for minors, and if we lose access, many kids like me will die. Their belief in a future, their belief in happiness just got harder. When I was almost eighteen, I managed to legally change my name and sex with Victorian Births, Deaths and Marriages. Victoria is lucky to have a relatively easy system where you can get both changed at once. After paying the $137 fee, changing every other document is free (but still a massive pain). Other states don’t have that ease of access that made it possible for me to be Ivy everywhere.

HRT is still expensive. I pay a lot each month to access my patches and pills, and I’m grateful to have my parents pay for it, but if they don’t it’ll be a massive burden. Without it, my body would simply stop functioning, a prospect that is becoming more and more real for trans people all over the world. The prospect of surgery is still so far off because its cost is so prohibitive. It’s extremely depressing for me and

other trans people, especially those who need it to have any quality of life.

Australia needs strong political leadership to stand up and support our queer community. However, both major Australian parties, Labor and Liberal, have pledged to develop a strong working relationship with the Trump administration. I can’t help but feel worried that by normalising ties with such a transphobic administration, Australia will see similar increased persecution of trans people.

Queensland has recently removed access to gender-affirming healthcare for minors. In response, the federal government announced a review into gender-affirming healthcare for young people, reportedly to prevent other states and territories from following Queensland’s lead.

Yet, I can’t help but feel there is a strong similarity between the federal inquiry here in Australia and the Cass Review in the United Kingdom, which resulted in the restriction of gender-affirming healthcare (both public and private), the capacity to alter identifying documents, and enforced cisnormative policy throughout government institutions.

We need to make sure that gender-affirming care in Australia continues to be accessible, supportive and free from stigma. While the government has delivered important rebates for reproductive-healthcare related medicines, rebates on these same medications have not been extended to trans people.

We had an important day of action all over Australia to protest against the attacks on trans healthcare in Australia and abroad. We defied the organisers and marched to show our pride and numbers and protest the attacks on our rights and existence.

We will not be silenced, we will not be erased, and the fight for trans rights will never end, until we have achieved trans liberation.

Stand up and fight back.

UniversityofMelbourneStudentUnion

Office Bearer Reports

President Josh Stagg

Welcome to each and every student, if you’re new, welcome, if you’re returning, then welcome back. My name is Joshua, I am the President of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) for 2025. This is a big year for UMSU, we are focusing on a few key things including expanding our support for postgraduate and research students, expanding our food relief initiatives, and reforming our events to focus on facilitating students making and maintaining friendships.

Another key issue is that of student activism and protesting here on campus. UMSU is united in protecting the right to peaceful protest that is under threat in tertiary education institutions across Australia, as was witnessed with the Hodgkinson Report at the University of Sydney. We are focusing on making students feel safe on campus whilst also ensuring that the fundamental right to student activism is maintained for current and future generations. Lastly, the National Student Ombudsman has begun taking complaints from tertiary education students. If you or someone you know wants to discuss making a complaint, reach out to the free UMSU Advocacy Service.

We are the student union for each and every student across all University of Melbourne campuses. My office is on level 2 of Building 168. If you have any issues, no matter how big or small, please feel free to drop by.

Graduate Students Association

President Ethan Chou

My name is Ethan, I’m the President of the Graduate Student Association (GSA), a dedicated student body that represents all graduate coursework and research students at the University of Melbourne.

As we begin this new semester, I’d like to invite you to our O-Week events across the Parkville, Southbank, Werribee, and Burnley campuses. These events are a great opportunity to meet fellow graduate students from across the university, raise concerns to our elected representatives, and gain a better understanding of the supports and service that we provide for graduate students.

If you’re interested to get involved with GSA, I would strongly encourage you to attend our Meet your GSA Reps event on 5 March, 2:30pm, in Gryphon Gallery, 1888 Building, on Parkville Campus. This event is an opportunity for graduate students to share ideas, concerns, feedback and experiences with their representatives, while socialising with other graduate students and enjoying some free food. At this event you will hear about upcoming work from the Representative Council and you will be able to share your suggestions on how GSA, and the university can better support you.

Lastly, to close out our orientation activities and to help you understand more of what GSA is about, I would also like to invite you to our GSA Summer Soiree on 14 March, 6:00pm, at Queen’s College. Enjoy the ambiance with free-flowing beverages, delectable canapés and beats from a live jazz band, creating the ideal setting to mingle and connect with fellow graduate students. I am very much looking forward to see you there! Best of luck this semester!

General Secretary Luv Golecha

As the General Secretary of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), my role revolves around ensuring the smooth operation of the union and advocating for student interests. My key responsibilities include overseeing the governance of UMSU, maintaining transparency through proper record-keeping, and ensuring accountability across all departments. I chair the Students’ Council, where critical decisions impacting students are made, and I work closely with office bearers to support their initiatives.

One of my primary goals this year is to strengthen student engagement by making UMSU more accessible and responsive. This includes expanding volunteering opportunities, improving communication channels, and ensuring that student voices shape the direction of the union. Additionally, financial responsibility is a priority—I am committed to making sure student funds are used effectively to support services, advocacy, and events that benefit the student body.

Beyond administration, I am passionate about fostering a vibrant and inclusive campus culture. Through collaborative efforts with student groups, clubs, and departments, I aim to create a stronger, more united student community. If you have any concerns or ideas, I encourage you to reach out—UMSU is here to represent you, and I am committed to ensuring your voice is heard.

UMSU International President Jesslyn Andriono

They say home isn’t a place—it’s a feeling. At UMSU International, we’re determined to create that feeling, no matter how far you’ve travelled to be here.

At UMSU INTL, our events come from our Cultural & Social, Welfare, Education, Partnerships & Sponsorships, and Graduate departments, supported by our lovely International Student Ambassadors (join our March intake!), managed by the Human Resources department. At the heart of it all, our dedicated Executives (pictured) lead the charge, ensuring everything runs smoothly across all departments.

This semester, we will continue our International Brekkie, serving free breakfast every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Watch for our Employability Summit, a career fair focused on employers who accept applications from International Students, and look out for our flagship Night Market later in the semester, featuring scrumptious food, spectacular performances, and lots of fun prizes. Advocacy-wise, we’re starting this year strong with the Campus Canteen’s grand opening, which we have been heavily involved in through consultations with the University. The canteen serves $5 healthy and filling meals to help alleviate food insecurity—a result of continued advocacy dating back to UMSU INTL’s 2022 committee.

As the year progresses, I plan to focus on the Assessments and Results Policy Review held by the Academic Board, advocating for transparency in grading and feedback. This includes requiring automatic disclosure of all marks and ensuring feedback is actionable and constructive so all students can understand their academic performance and areas for improvement.

I also invite all International students to participate in our annual International Student Survey, which will be distributed later this year. Your responses help ensure our events are aligned with your needs, while also guiding our advocacy efforts. Your voice matters in shaping what we do!!!

Looking forward to meeting everyone at our events and supporting you the best we can!

Activites

Amy Peters

Welcome back! We’ve defs kicked the sem off with a bang!! First up we had Bike N Blend all days of Orientation/Summerfest across multiple campuses, and on Friday night we had SoUP (Start of Uni Party) at North Court which sold out! A huge shout out to Olly and Dhruv who won our vibe competition on the night, and went home with their very own Tobias Trunke plushie. As I write this, it’s over 30 degrees and we have just finished packing up a very ssssuccessful Tuesday event, having band Playlunch, supported by Lucy Lorenne and the Early Birds. We also had a performance by the Bollywood Club! Our Ssssemester One calendar has been released, and we can’t wait to see you everyone on Tuesdays. Stay tuned and follow us on @umsuactivities for all the deets!

Clubs & Societies

Esther Luk & Ewan Bezzobs

We’re the 2025 Clubs and Societies OBs, Esther and Ewan! We’re so excited to be continuing the great work that the department has completed in previous years, as well as introducing some new initiatives to boost student engagement and the sense of community. C&S oversees over 200 clubs affiliated to UMSU, and is a great place to find friends at uni, try something new, or even boost your resume. We are hard at work planning our semester one Exec Mixer for the uni’s hard working club executives to mingle and engage with each other. We’ve also just finished the incredible Summerfest Clubs Expo to spotlight our clubs and interact with the student cohort in a relaxed context. As previous execs, we are passionate about providing club committees with a good experience, and will actively be looking at ways to simplify responsibilities while still keeping club members safe and the student experience great.

Creative Arts

Riya Gupta & Tianyi Yu

SummerFest kicked off the year with a burst of creativity!

From interactive mural painting to a high-energy dance workshop, a modelling session, and the ever-popular Arts

Hive, students got hands-on with the arts in new and exciting ways. We loved seeing so many of you step out of your comfort zones and create something together!

But this is just the beginning. We’re working to launch a 24-hour play challenge, and expanding access to creative resources so that more students can get involved, no matter their experience. Mudfest is also on the horizon, and we’re gearing up for an incredible program of student-led arts.

Whether you’re a seasoned performer or just arts-curious, we’re here to make creative opportunities accessible to all. Got ideas? Let’s make them happen!

Education (Public)

Sonika Agarwal & Viraj Patel

A big welcome to all new and returning students. We kicked off the year with our first Education Action Collective, discussing “What is UMSU?”a great start to exploring how student activism shapes your university experience. We also want to spotlight our incredible Education Volunteers and invite more students to get involved in campaigning, admin, or events. Keen to make a difference? Get in touch! Our Enrolment Survey is live on the UMSU website. Share your experience to help us push for a smoother, world-class digital enrolment system. And if you haven’t yet, grab a Know Your Rights booklet around campus as your go-to guide for student rights. Exciting things are ahead, from campaigns and collectives to our UMSU Assembly, where you can learn about working in Australia as a domestic or international student. Stay connected and follow us on social media!

People of Colour

Divyanshi Sati & Wen Hao (Clement)

Hello, we are Divyanshi and Wen Hao (Clement) Wu, your POC office bearers for 2025. This year, we are excited to continue and expand our initiatives, with a range of events planned to create inclusive spaces. We will be running the People of Colour Collective, Bla(c)k Collective, and Queer People of Colour Collective on a weekly basis, providing consistent support and connection.

In addition, we are collaborating with the Women’s Department to run Women and Enbies of Colour. Forthrightly, further uplifting voices and creating platforms for women and non-binary people of colour. We are also thrilled to host major cultural events such as Holi and Eid, both happening in March, celebrating diversity. We look forward to an engaging and impactful year of advocacy, celebration, and support for people of colour students.

Queer

Ivy Pierlot

Hi everyone!! I’m Ivy, your Queer OB. So far, Queer department had an involvement in the Bachelor of Arts epxo, UMSU expo, and was able to get Gogo to MC the Block Party on Friday. We were able to distribute bags, promote the department to lead perfectly into Semester 1 Queer Collectives. We’re still in the progress of getting Ida Bar to provide dietary friendly options for collectives. This increased variety and affordability along with more frequent collectives should make the queer department extremely vibrant and fun this year. Additionally, we aree working on getting our survey about queer issues out mid semester!

Women’s

Eya Takrouni & Khwaish Jadeja

Heyy everyone!! It your Women’s Team:)

A little insight jnto our world:

- Had our very cute and successful Summerfest stall with $2 badge and bracelet making for the red heart campaign which battles femicide and gendered violence.

- We attended the Victorian Higher Education Summit on Gender-Based violence that discussed sexual harm prevention and response. It equipped us with better understanding, and knowledge on how we could improve the same in our university.

- We have been working on the free period products campaign

- We are also working on the rearrangement & re-stocking of the Women’ space

- Lastly, we have prepared an awesome line up of collectives and events for all the students! And we are so excited to meet you all through them, starting with International Women’s day on 7th March 2025 in the Amphitheatre

Welfare

Filia Cahyadi & Kunal Dewani

The past few months have been warm-up months for UMSU Welfare. We have been restocking Union Mart and running Union Mart pop-ups around Parkville, with around 150 students coming to each pop-up, even during the break. This shows that food insecurity and need for student welfare doesn’t take a break. We have been planning for the year. We recently made the decision to open Union Mart both in the Morning (10:00am – 11:00am) and in the Evening (4:00pm –5:00pm), Monday to Friday, because students should not have to be put in the position to choose between their education and their health.

We also ran Union Mart tours during O-Week Summerfest and introduced Union Mart to the new students. VERRYYYYY EXCITED FOR THE YEAR!!!!

UMSU Disabilties, Burnley, Southbank, Indigenous, Environment, Education (Academic Affairs) Office Bearers did not submit an OB Report.

Uni News

UniMelb Introduces New Campus Protest Policy

The University of Melbourne has introduced a new policy regarding protest on campus forbidding protest which is indoors, protest which obstructs building exits and protest which ‘disrupts University activities.’

The policy advises students that a failure to comply with this direction may result in suspension or termination of enrolment, and restrictions to students’ capacity to attend classes, exams or access University property. University staff are advised that failure to comply may constitute not following a lawful employer direction.

The policy was announced Monday 3 March, the frist day of Semester One , in an email to University staff and students from the new Vice Chancellor Emma Johnston and is implemented as a Vice Chancellor’s Regulation titled ‘Use of University premises and facilities: conditions regarding protests.’

Vice Chancellor’s Regulations have previously been used to prohibit protest on campus. In May 2024 then Vice Chancellor Duncan Maskell released a policy prohibiting on campus ‘protest by members of the public who are not students or staff members’ as well as ‘protest that is not peaceful.’

The Vice Chancellor’s Regulation has been strongly condemned by the UniMelb branch of the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) and UMSU. In a joint statement released 6 March, both bodies stated that they consider the policy an “authoritarian approach” and “believe that the right to peaceful assembly is not subject to whether it unreasonably disrupts activities or operations or causes inconvenience” and is “a fundamental right of a democratic society that goes to the heart of academic life.”

UMSU President Josh Stagg argued that the new protest rule will not work effectively to make students feel safe or welcome, and that instead the University should engage in consultation with students and implement the recommendations of UMSU’s Racism at UniMelb Report.

NTEU UniMelb branch President and NTEU Victorian division President David Gonzalez stated that “University of Melbourne staff are united with students in the belief that protest has an essential role within public universities in advancing knowledge. Professor Johnston conflates staff and student comfort and their safety in this response.”

Murrup Barak Relocates to Building 168

Murrup Barak has relocated from Old Physics to Level 6 of Building 168. Building 168 is located in the Student Precinct which occupies the Swanston and Grattan Street corner of the Parkville campus.

Murrup Barak, named for the Wurundjeri leader William Barak, will now share a building with UMSU offices and the Atlantic Fellows for Social Equity.

The new space is available to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander members of the University community, and provides outreach and support for future and current students.

Melbourne University Choral Society

Disaffiliated from UMSU

The Melbourne University Choral society was disaffiliated from UMSU by the Clubs and Societies Committee in December last year, on the grounds of failing to provide an ‘environment free from bullying for all members.’

Following an appeal to Students’ Council the disaffiliation period has been reduced to six months. The club remains active on and off campus.

EnAccess Maps partners with City of Merri-bek to Assess Accessibility of Council-Owned Venues

EnAccess Maps, a social startup endeavouring to increase online information about venue accessibility, has collaborated with the City of Merri-bek to gauge the accessibility of council-owned locations. Trained assessors with disabilities were hired by EnAccess to evaluate locations such as the Coburg Leisure Centre, Brunswick Library and Fawkner Senior Citizens Centre. These appraisals were made publicly available on the EnAccess website.

Users of EnAccess Maps’ website may filter locations by whether they have wheelchair toilets, movement space, accessible parking and stepfree access. These filters are ac-

Young Labor Pains

More! Liberals in UMSU?

A Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) made between student representatives of the Melbourne University Liberal Club (MULC) and Labor Right subfaction TWU, Young Labor Progressive Unity (YLPU), reveal plans for significant control of the student union by the Liberals. The agreement allocated multiple positions for Liberal candidates within More!, including the choice of President or General Secretary.

While the MoU’s term of agreement covers the 2025 USMU election, multiple students with ties to the Liberal Club were present on the More! ticket in September 2024. Farrago understands that the agree-

companied by specific reviews and photographs. Many of these details are self-reported by venues following EnAccess’s guidelines. However, patrons are also encouraged to contribute personal reviews and add to the website’s growing database.

EnAccess Maps is the flagship project of Enactus Melbourne, an UMSU-affiliated club associated with the international Enactus social entrepreneurship competition. Sabrina Leung founded EnAccess in 2021 while completing her Bachelor of Arts at the University of Melbourne. Since then, EnAccess has partnered with local councils and raised over $100k in equity free funding.

ment between the TWU Labor Right faction and the campus Liberals will no longer be honoured in 2025.

Notionally National Labor Students

Meanwhile, in New South Wales, 11 members of National Labor Students (NLS), the student wing of the Labor Left faction, were disaffiliated by vote for allegedly breaching the faction’s national constitution.

The motion to disaffiliate those involved referenced a “toxic culture” among elements of NSW NLS. Following the vote a number of members disaffiliated voluntarily to form New South Wales Labor Students (NSWLS), including University of Sydney Student Representative

New

Campus Canteen Opens on Grattan Street

Week One of Semester saw UniMelb open the new Campus Canteen on Grattan Street, next to the Prince Alfred Hotel. The Canteen is open from 8am-8pm five days a week, offering fresh $5 meals provided by Carlton Providores. A Southbank location is said to be opening later this year.

The Canteen’s opening follows a revealing 2024 report, A Campus in Crisis, authored by the UMSU Welfare Department and researcher Sara Guest, which drew on the UMSU Cost of Living Survey and found widespread food insecurity among students and a lack of affordable food options on campus.

Council President, Angus Fisher.

The disaffiliation was organised by NLS members from Victoria and the ACT. In a statement to student media, NLS leadership emphasised that the group “has a zero tolerance policy for bullying, intimidation, or harassment of any kind.”

NLS expressed their commitment to working with NSWLS in the future, though it remains to be seen exactly how the split will impact the factional make up of delegates to the National Union of Students National Conference. The break between NLS and NSW members is the latest in a series which have seen their national vote share noticeably compromised in recent years.

One Year into the Nuclear-Powered Submarine Student Pathway at UniMelb

In Semester 1 of 2024, the University of Melbourne commenced its participation in the Australian Government’s Nuclear-Powered Submarine (NPS) Student Pathways program.

Over a three-year period (2024-2027), the program allocates the University an additional 300 commencing Commonwealth Supported Places

for Bachelor of Science students. Students on this pathway must major in ‘identified priority areas’ (i.e. physics, chemistry, mathematics or statistics) which will prime them for a career in the NPS workforce.

According to VTAC, students may undertake internships and Work Integrated Learning opportunities ‘supported by the Australian Submarine Agency, Department of De-

Sustainable dying: can the funeral industry really reduce its environmental footprint?

Reporting and photos by Nikki Richardson

Content Warning: Death

For decades burial and cremation have been the most common options in the Australian funeral industry.

However, emerging technologies are claiming to offer more sustainable alternatives, and it’s only fitting since chemicals like formaldehyde and methanol, which are used to embalm a body before burial, can leach toxins into soil and water tables.

While cemeteries are quickly running out of room to house the dead, millions of tonnes of carbon dioxide are released into the atmosphere every year by gas-powered crematoriums, with a single cremation producing over 400kg.

Greg Nicholls, the founder of cardboard casket brand Daisybox, is one of few in a largely profit-driven industry deter-

mined to see change in the burial and cremation industry.

“Nobody talks about how toxic that whole process is,” Nicholls said.

Following a request by a funeral group in 2017, Nicholls has developed a lowcost carbon casket, which has unsurprisingly, been met with high demand among Australians.

Nicholls estimates 80 per cent of the demand comes from people wanting a more affordable option, particularly as the purchase of a casket can cost thousands of dollars. An affordable burial option that is also environmentally friendly has been seen as an added bonus for many of his clients.

“We’re really democratising coffin manufacturing and letting the public know it is a choice,” said Nicholls.

fence and industry partners,’ and are invited to exclusive events and activities to network.

The first cohort commenced in 2024 and the final will be accepted in 2027, graduating in 2030. Students are not obligated to join the NPS industry, however the pathway aims to ‘develop a pipeline of highly-skilled STEM graduates who will strengthen Australia’s sovereign capabilities’.

On average, around a 100,000 people die every day globally. Although many Australians are engrossed by the high cost of living, the inevitable cost of what comes after, both on the environment and the hip pocket raises serious concerns amid a myriad of financial pressures amongst the aging population.

According to the government website MoneySmart, the average cost of a funeral in Australia is around $8,000, from which a significant portion of that sum goes towards purchasing the coffin.

Kate Morgan, co-founder of Tomorrow Funerals, entered into the industry after coming “face to face” with her own death following a year of “terrible health” after being diagnosed with cancer in 2021.

“I felt like it was quite outdated,” said Morgan, who found the industry to be traditional and impersonal.

Unlike many other funeral homes, Tomorrow Funerals only offers a cardboard casket and the memorial service takes place after the cremation, elimi-

nating the pressure to have a beautiful or elegant casket for display.

“There’s no emphasis on us selling people coffins, we give the same coffin to every single person,” Morgan said.

Tomorrow Funerals, which had chosen cardboard from a sustainability perspective, did not expect much support from customers.

However, they have been met with a high demand for cardboard caskets from people looking for more affordable and eco-friendly burial options.

While cardboard is a more biodegradable material for caskets, containing fewer toxins than standard Medium Density Fibreboards (MDF), alternative options altogether could set an even greener standard for the industry.

Practices like composting and aquamation, or ‘alkaline hydrolysis’ which dissolves the body in a water chamber, are becoming popular amongst those looking for a more environmentally sustainable mode of burial.

While methods like aquamation are recognised as alternative methods of burial in several Australian states, re-

search suggests such methods are still too new to completely understand their environmental impacts.

However, Morgan believes that businesses will be encouraged to offer more eco-friendly options as demand continues to grow.

“Green burials are coming in and it will change…but at the moment in Victoria (where Tomorrow Funerals is based) there’s not much you can do,” Morgan said.

While some continue to advocate for alternative and eco-friendly methods of burial, Dr Hannah Gould and her team of anthropologists and researchers from DeathTech have raised concerns of greenwashing in the burial industry.

“Mostly it is a case of private companies providing poor evidence for their claims of environmental sustainability,” Dr Gould said.

While natural burials are associated with lower energy consumption and carbon emissions, we currently lack the research and evidence to measure the environmental impacts of different modes of burial.

“I’m not yet convinced that alternative disposal options, like water cremation or recompose, are the path to sustainable deathcare.”

According to Dr Gould, 80 per cent of Australians are cremated and only switching to greener fuels would make that process more efficient and environmentally friendly.

“Many of the perceived green options in deathcare that people get excited about, like composting, do not provide the fix that is required,” she said.

Electricity-powered crematoriums, similar to ones operating across the United Kingdom and Western Europe, are one option Greg Nicholls hopes to see introduced in Australia.

“They’ll change over the equipment in Australia when the current equipment comes to the end of its useful life, and not beforehand, because no one’s legislating that they’ve got to reduce emissions tomorrow,” Nicholls said.

DeathTech’s research has found people are increasingly more open to trying new and experimental technologies with a lower carbon footprint for burials.

Nevertheless, the carbon footprint from the disposal of remains is a “tiny proportion” in comparison to the carbon emissions created during a person’s lifetime.

Dr Gould claims that government and industry-led regulatory change would be more effective in improving the industry’s sustainability.

“I am weary of a neoliberal move that asks people to account for the environmental impact of their own deaths, when we could be advocating for sector-wide change.”

Mathilda Stewart

New VC, Same Old Problems

Emma Johnston replaces Duncan Maskell as Vice Chancellor

Emma Johnston has begun her tenure as the University of Melbourne’s 21st Vice Chancellor, becoming the first woman to hold the role.

Johnson was appointed in September 2024, following the announcement that Duncan Maskell would prematurely end his second five-year term as Vice Chancellor in March 2025.

Notice of Maskell’s resignation came on 29 April 2024, four days into the Gaza Solidarity Encampment by Unimelb for Palestine on the Parkville campus’s South Lawn.

The Gaza Solidarity Encampment was the most high-profile action of an ongoing protest movement by staff and students calling upon the University to disclose and divest from their partnerships with weapons manufacturing companies

Maskell’s term was marred by controversy. Appointed in 2018 to replace outgoing Vice Chancellor Glyn Davis, Maskell oversaw widespread staff redundancies and underpayment to the tune of $45 million.

His tenure saw unprecedented industrial action. In what would become the longest strike action in Australian higher education history, hundreds of University staff conducted week-long protected strikes in August and October of 2023.

As Vice Chancellor, Maskell came under frequent fire from the National

Tertiary Education Union (NTEU), which cited his $1.5 million annual salary and University-owned $7.1 million Parkville mansion as evidence of the intense inequality rife in the higher-education sector.

While Maskell was educated at the University of Cambridge, Emma Johnston grew up in Melbourne and completed both her undergraduate and doctorate in ecology at the University of Melbourne, graduating in 1998 and 2002, respectively.

In 1995, Johnston was elected President of the Melbourne University Student Union. Her ticket, Left Focus, was composed of left-aligned students organised primarily to campaign against voluntary student unionism and up-front HECS fees.

Although Voluntary Student Unionism would be forestalled during Johnston’s incumbency, its eventual implementation in 2006 has had wide-reaching ramifications for Australian tertiary students and student unions, and their capacity for both political organisation and the provision of essential student services.

At the time of her appointment as Vice Chancellor at the University of Melbourne, Johnson had been serving as the Deputy Vice Chancellor (Research) at the University of Sydney, a position she had held since July 2022.

In that role, Johnston oversaw and signed the renewal of the University of Sydney’s partnership with the French arms manufacturer Thales, the world’s eighth largest arms manufacturer.

This partnership was established in 2017 and involved Thales funding research doctorates and industry placement programs throughout the The University of Sydney’s Faculty of

Engineering. Johnston’s renewal of the partnership in late 2022 extended Thales-directed research into weapons systems and national security .

The University of Sydney and Thales’ partnership has attracted continued criticism from staff and students who oppose the University’s ’ involvement in militarism’. They argue Thales is complicit in war crimes and the underpayment of its 3,700 Australian employees.

Speaking to the University of Sydney’s student newspaper Honi Soit in 2022, then University of Sydney Union Education Officers Yasmine Johnson and Ishbel Dunsmore opposed the partnership, arguing that higher education in Australia had become “increasingly geared towards Australian militarism and industry.”

As the University of Melbourne’s Vice Chancellor, Johnson can expect to encounter many of the same issues as her predecessor, including disputes with the NTEU, calls for divestment by pro-Palestine staff and students, the proposed caps to international student enrollments, and controversies regarding her salary.

The Senate Education and Employment Legislation Committee is currently conducting an inquiry into the governance structures and salary practices within the Australian higher education sector. The inquiry comes amidst reports from the Fair Work Ombudsman and NTEU which have found ‘entrenched non-compliance’ and ‘poor governance’ within the higher education sector, and university executive salaries which far outstrip those received by state premiers and the prime minister.

While the NTEU’s 2023 industrial action eventually resulted in the approval of a new Enterprise Bargain-

ing Agreement (EBA) in 2024, many staff predict further redundancies if the federal government’s caps on international student enrollments are legislated.

Labor’s proposed policy would introduce a national overall cap of 270,000 annual new enrollments in a sector where international student fees represent the second largest source of income for Australian universities – accounting for 30% of their funding.

Although the legislation is currently stalled in parliament by the Coalition, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has indicated that he would be in support of similar caps were his party to form government in 2025.

Under the caps, the University of Melbourne’s international student intake would see a reduction of 18%, translating to a revenue loss of $85 million.

Pro-Palestine students and staff further demand divestment from weapons manufacturing as well as the academic and cultural boycott of Israeli universities, the most prominent of which is the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, whose Mt Scopus campus is, according to international law, located on illegally occupied Palestinian territory.

The University currently maintains ties with weapons manufacturers including Rosebank Engineering, IBM, Lockheed Martin, BAE Systems, Boeing, Leonardo, and Northrop Gruman.

How Johnston navigates these challenges will inevitably define the longevity and legacy of her tenure as Vice Chancellor of Australia’s wealthiest university.

Australian Universities Embrace Controversial New Definition of Antisemitism

Reporting and photos by Ibrahim Muan Abdulla.

Australian universities have unilaterally adopted a controversial new definition of antisemitism following a parliamentary inquiry finding which recommended universities enshrine a defintion closely aligned with that used by the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA).

The new definition drafted by the Group of Eight (Go8) Universities was unanimously endorsed by the 39 members of Universities Australia on 24 February. The Go8 worked closely with Jillian Segal, the Special Envoy to Combat Antisemitism, to draft the new definition before making its adoption public on 26 February.

A report on antisemitism tabled by Labour MP Josh Burns, the chair of the Parliamentary Joint Committee on Human Rights, highlighted an “urgent need for reform” to ensure the safety of Jewish staff and students on university campuses.

“It should not have taken a national antisemitism crisis and a parliamentary inquiry for universities to take the concerns of Jewish staff and students seriously.”

Burns said that while the current status quo is not good enough, the early release of the report allows for the recommendations by the committee to be implemented before the commencement of the 2025 semester.

The report made 10 recommendations, among them requiring Vice Chancellors to hold a formal meeting with Jewish student bodies and staff in semester one to discuss antisemitism on campuses, requiring Australian universities review their complaints procedure and report on the outcome of complaints with greater transparency, and adopt a definition of antisemitism similar to that of the IHRA.

The definition adopted by the 39 member institutions of Universities Australia describes antisemitism as “discrimination, prejudice, harassment, exclusion, vilification, intimidation or violence that impedes Jews’ ability to participate as equals in educational, political, religious, cultural, economic or social life…”

The definition states that while criticism of the government or state of Israel and its practices and policies is “not in and of itself antisemitic…criticism of Israel

can be antisemitic when it is grounded in harmful tropes, stereotypes or assumptions and when it calls for the elimination of the State of Israel or all Jews or when it holds Jewish individuals or communities responsible for Israel’s actions. It can be antisemitic to make assumptions about what Jewish individuals think based only on the fact that they are Jewish.”

The definition further reads, “All peoples, including Jews, have the right to self-determination. For most, but not all, Jewish Australians, Zionism is a core part of their Jewish identity. Substituting the word ‘Zionist’ for ‘Jew’ does not eliminate the possibility of speech being antisemitic.”

Since its introduction in 2005, the IHRA definition has been adopted by multiple organisations and nation-states around the world, including the Australian government, various organisations, and universities across Europe, the United Kingdom, and the United States.

The IHRA definition of antisemitism states that “antisemitism is a certain perception of Jews, which may be expressed as hatred toward Jews. Rhetorical and

physical manifestations of antisemitism are directed toward Jewish or non-Jewish individuals and/or their property, toward Jewish community institutions and religious facilities.”

The IHRA’s working definition goes on to list 11 examples of antisemitism in everyday life, such as “drawing comparisons of contemporary Israeli policy to that of the Nazis”, “holding Jews collectively responsible for actions of the state of Israel” and “denying the Jewish people their right to self-determination, e.g., by claiming that the existence of a State of Israel is a racist endeavor.”

While the definition adopted by Universities Australia does not include all examples listed by the IHRA, it similarly regards criticism of zionism as antisemitic.

The new definition adopted by Universities Australia will act as a non-legally binding guide for individual institutions to interpret when determining what constitutes antisemitic conduct when it comes to disciplinary proceedings.

Universities across the globe that have adopted the IHRA definition of antisemitism have observed a swift suppression of student protests and activism.

A report published by the European Legal Support Centre and the British Society for Middle Eastern Studies found that between 2017 and 2022, of the 40 cases of alleged antisemitism by staff and

students on British university campuses, 38 were ultimately rejected.

While almost all of the cases were dismissed, the allegations resulted in dragged out disciplinary proceedings, loss of scholarship opportunities and cancelled events that had severe debilitating effects on the staff and students, impacting their education as well as fu-

ture career prospects.

The Australia Palestine Advocacy Network unequivocally condemned the adoption of the new definition by Universities Australia, stating that instead of protecting Jewish staff and students “this move manipulates genuine concern about antisemitism to silence political dissent, shield Israel from accountabili-

ty and shut down Palestinians and their allies.”

In a statement released online, Amnesty International Australia’s Occupied Palestinian Territory Spokesperson, Mohamed Duar wrote that “policing freedom of speech, academic debate, and protest is not a solution to student safety–it is an outrageous and blatant act of repression where freedom of thought and academia should flourish.”

Duar argued that if universities were committed to combating racism, they must adopt a comprehensive, rightsbased approach that protects all students without eroding fundamental freedoms and rights.

Student activism has been paramount in demanding First Nations justice in Australia, ending the apartheid in South Africa, demanding civil rights in the United States, as well as ending the Iraq war.

“By adopting this definition, universities will be characterising peaceful protest as a punishable offense. This sets a chilling precedent where students exercising their political rights are vilified and silenced.”

Student protests have been at the heart of human rights struggles, and universities should champion, not crush, activism.”

Similarly, the Jewish Council of Australia has expressed strong disapproval of the move by Universities Australia, stating

that the definition developed by the Go8 and adopted by Universities Australia categorises Palestinian political expression as inherently antisemitic and that it will be unworkable, unenforceable, and stifles critical political debate, which is at the heart of any democratic society.

“Today, Australia’s 39 universities endorsed a dangerous and politicised definition of antisemitism which threatens academic freedom, will have a chilling effect on legitimate criticism of Israel, and risks institutionalising anti-Palestinian racism. They did so without meaningful consultation with Palestinian groups or diverse Jewish groups who are critical of Israel.”

the IHRA.

While student activism and protest have been critical for fundamental human rights struggles for generations, the University of Melbourne has stifled these actions over the years.

With the start of the 2025 semester, Vice-Chancellor Emma Johnston has introduced new restrictions to student protests and activism, banning indoor protests, protests that disrupt student activity, access to buildings or research facilities.

Students breaking these new protest regulations will be faced with expulsions.

The University of Melbourne in 2021 became one of the first universities in Australia to publicly adopt the highly contested definition of antisemitism from

“You Spray, You Pay” the City of Melbourne’s new policy cracking down on graffiti

Reporting and photos by Maria Quartel

In an effort to curb graffiti cleanup costs, Melbourne Lord Mayor Nick Reece has introduced a new policy, ‘You Spray, You Pay’, with support from Melbourne City Council.

The policy is a direct response to growing concerns by vendors and property owners and requires those convicted of unauthorised graffiti to pay for the costs of cleaning up the damage.

Following the implementation of the new policy, Melbourne City Council has encouraged Victoria Police to increase arrests and prosecution of individuals responsible for graffiti.

Jack Gibson-Burrell, the artist allegedly behind one of Melbourne’s most prolific street icons, ‘Pam the Bird’, recently faced more than fifty graffiti-related charges.

The 21 year old artist rose to fame for his cartoon bird graffiti, appearing in unconventional and often difficult to reach locations around Melbourne.

Pam the Bird has been spotted on the Flinders Street clocktower, the CityLink cheese stick, and Channel 9 headquarters.

While Gibson-Burrell has caught the attention of the general public, removing the graffiti has cost him fines associated with $100,000.

While the artist’s arrest has been heralded by the government and law enforcement officials as a victory against vandalism, the move raises broader questions on the freedom of expression and what constitutes acceptable street art.

Prior to the recent policy ‘You Spray, You Pay’, the city of Melbourne has had estab-

lished rules surrounding street art for quite some time.

Designated graffiti areas, such as Hosier Lane and ACDC Lane, are popular hotspots where street art has been commissioned by private companies.

While these locations have allowed for street art to shine and thrive, the list of approved locations for street art remains limited.

Artists caught grafitting outside of these designated areas allocated for street art will face prosecution and heavy fines for cleanup under the new policy.

Additionally, the city council has reserved the right to determine whether an artist’s work qualifies as street art or an act of vandalism.

Similar to debates around contested forms of art, this distinction is critical, as many graffiti artists –like Pam the Bird – view their work as more than just tagging buildings around the city.

The increasing authority that the Melbourne City Council holds over what constitutes as street art or vandalism has raised concerns amongst street artists.

When inquired on how this decision had been reached, Lord Mayor has alluded to the photographic quality of the artwork playing a significant factor in determining legal action against artists.

The decision of the City Council diminishes a critical form of expression filled with a rich history to mere approved aesthetics .

When questioned on how this complex decision is made, Lord Mayor has alluded to the photographic quality of the art being a key factor, which diminishes a whole world and history of graffiti to mere approved aesthetics that are deemed profitable by the City of Melbourne council.

However, the importance of street art extends beyond just the issue of aesthetics. Graffiti has long been a form of protest, an outlet for those who may not have a platform in traditional media to voice their opinions.

By giving local councils and governments the power to control what is classified as “art,” the freedom of expression of artists becomes limited, and the significance of their art as a tool for social change, diminished.

Who gets to decide what is and isn’t considered art? The “You Spray, You Pay” policy may reduce clean-up costs, but it also risks silencing a vital form of ex pression that has long been vital to the streets of Melbourne.

South Korean

Youth React to Political

Photography by Harley

Upheaval

Megan

Nicole Yin

At 10:30pm on 3 December 2024, thenSouth Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol declared martial law on live television, citing the need to protect the country from North Korean threats and eliminate anti-state forces. He claimed that these groups were a threat to the country’s freedom and were leading South Korea toward ruin. Through martial law, Yoon claimed he aimed to restore order and safeguard the nation’s constitutional system.

Any social media algorithms even vaguely connected to South Korea were immediately overrun with real time reactions to the first declaration of martial law in South Korea since 1979. Those in the capital city of Seoul could hear military helicopters circling overhead.

Snippets from a live stream held by opposition Democratic Party leader Lee Jaemyung, wherein he films himself jumping over the National Assembly Building fence to cast his vote against the declaration of martial law, went viral. Likewise, on the front lines, Ahn Gwi-ryeong, the Democratic Party’s Deputy Spokesperson, confronted the soldiers outside the National Assembly. A photograph of her grabbing a soldier’s firearm gained international attention.

Less than three hours after the declaration, the National Assembly unanimously voted to lift martial law.

Seeing how quickly these events unfolded, I checked in with my Korean friends. Some wanted to flee the country, others were just wishing for an impeachment and a better

future for South Korean politics. My friend Harley said, “announcing a state of emergency late at night seemed like an abuse of power. As someone who had not agreed with Yoon Suk Yeol’s foreign and economic policies, this move made me completely lose trust in him as the leader of South Korea.”

In the following days, Yoon’s legitimacy would be increasingly questioned. As matters quickly escalated, Harley joined thousands of protesting Koreans who were calling for his impeachment.

Many celebrities endorsed the protests, with some donating and others showing support. One notable example was singer IU and her record label, EDAM Entertainment, who purchased hot packs and food for participating fans.

Despite the immense support for Yoon’s impeachment, Harley still occasionally encountered peers who were against it. Many feared that if another president faced impeachment, it would signal chronic political instability and potentially damage South Korea’s reputation on the global stage. Furthermore, others argued that even if Yoon were to be removed from office, there would not be enough competent candidates to take his place. To them, keeping him in power seemed like the lesser of two evils, as electing another unqualified leader would only waste national resources, time and money. The consensus among the anti-impeachment crowd was that rather than pushing for change without a clear alternative, the country should focus on mitigating repercussions on South Korea’s international perception, economic waste

and social costs.

On 14 December 2024, Yoon Suk Yeol was impeached by the National Assembly. Approximately two weeks later, a warrant was issued for this arrest. After a failed six-hour standoff, a successful arrest was made on 6 January.

Following Yoon’s arrest, the country remained uncertain. While his suspension from duties was seen as a victory for many protesters, political divisions deepened and debates over the nation’s future leadership intensified.

Currently, the Deputy Prime Minister and Finance minister, Choi Sang-mok, has been appointed as South Korea’s interim leader. For Harley and many young Koreans, the impeachment was not just about one man, it was about the broader fight for more political accountability. Many viewed it as a turning point in the demand for greater transparency, ethical leadership and systemic reforms to prevent future abuses of power—especially since this marked the second time a South Korean president had been impeached for prioritizing personal interests over the people’s wellbeing.

The impeachment of Yoon was not entirely unexpected given his dropping approval ratings over his past two years in office. After speaking with Harley, the declaration of martial law showcases just how politically engaged young South Koreans are becoming. This shift suggests that young Koreans are no longer just observers but have grown to become active participants in wanting better for their country.

UNIMELB CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE Play How start

Q7. It‛s the start of your third year. Are you on track to graduate by the end of Semester 2?

A. Yes. I‛ve taken intensives and overloaded so I will graduate earlier.

B. Yes, I will graduate at the end of the year.

C. No. I have underloaded throughout my degree. My employers prioritise practical experience anyway.

D. I‛m not really sure where my course planning is … though, I am running in the Independent Media preselections with lots of ideas about how we could improve Farrago and Radio Fodder.

Q8. Congratulations. You have graduated! Where do you see yourself in a decade?

A. Completing my fifth degree

B. Working my way up the company ladder

C. (In)Famous

D. Lurking about Building 168

RESULTS

Mostly As: Graduate Study

Q6. It‛s lunchtime. How are you sustaining yourself?

A. A packed sandwich

B. Hitting a vape on the South Lawn slope

C. A coffee and borek from Castro‛s

D. An expired room-temperature Up&Go Liquid Breakfast Vanilla Ice

Fortunately, you‛ve secured yourself a place in the illustrious academy. Unfortunately, your place might not be that secure. At least you‛ll continue receiving student discounts; which you‛ll need as you look forward to a bright future of wage theft and insecure employment.

Mostly Bs: Straight to work

Congratulations, you‛ve escaped the Melbourne Model‛s interminable money drain. Start your 9-5, join the alumni network and fondly recall your undergrad through the distortions of nostalgia.

Mostly Cs: Indefinite deferral

Whether this is because you‛ve gained practical experience or been scouted, you‛re living a non-conformist lifestyle free from the brutal realities of Turnitin, eStudent Study Plan and Okta Verify. Those who think of it as dropping out never consider what you‛re dropping into.

Mostly Ds: Farrago Editor

Unfortunately, this is the worst option. To have achieved this ending, you made the worst decision at each step. Consider this a sombre omen. Rethink your choices before there‛s no turning back and you‛re writing a stupid quiz at 3 am.

UNIMELB UNDERGRAD EDITION

How will it end for you?

you’ve

Q1. Congratulations, you‛re secured a position at Australia‛s premier university. What is your chosen course?

A. Science/Biomed

B. Commerce/Agriculture

C. Fine Arts/Design

D. Arts

Q5. It‛s your second year and you‛ve been summoned before the University. Why?

A. I am being awarded an undergraduate prize.

B. Academic misconduct: I used AI to complete a written assignment.

C. General misconduct: These are trumped-up charges targeting student activists.

D. At Risk Appointment: I have failed more than half my subjects and must Return to Good Standing

Q2. It‛s the summer prior to your first semester. What are you doing?

A. Perusing the readings

B. Munting at a faculty society camp

C. Working and saving money

D. Applying to Farrago‛s December round

Q3. How do you spend your first semester?

A. I attend classes, take diligent notes, attempt the further readings and contribute to tutorials.

B. I pass. Employers don‛t ask for your WAM.

C. I underload and spend my time creating, hobnobbing or working.

D. I neglect my schoolwork to contribute to my extracurricular activities.

Q4. Which breadth subject do you take?

A. Great Chinese Classics

B. The Business of Music

C. I‛m saving my breadth units to go on exchange.

D. Beer Styles and Sensory Analysis

Written

by Sophie He, designed by Chiaki Chng

On Sexual Repressi

Lucy Beltrami

Content Warning: body horror, blood, sex, sexual violence, insects

Julia Kristeva argues that it is ‘not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order.’ Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) opens with an act of grotesque sexuality. The scene of the Metal Fetishist inserting a metal rod into their leg—as well as the festering wound full of maggots which follows—is an image of abjection that sets the tone for the entire film. The abject nature of the Metal Fetishist is not because of his festering, maggot-filled wound but his transgressive sexuality. As viewers, we bear witness to the Metal Fetishist’s obliteration of sexual taboos and we feel emotions like disgust and fear. It occurs to us as both a challenge and an invitation.

As the (sexually frustrated) Salaryman runs down the Metal Fetishist, he represses the enormous potential for abject sexuality that he represents. For Freud, of course, the repressed cannot be held down; it always returns. From the moment the Salaryman attempts to squash this monstrous sexuality, he has unleashed upon himself a sexuality of his own, far more nauseating and revolting than that which had come before.

Great films are always about sex. The act of watching a film is itself sexual. Every time you sit down to watch a film, you engage the film object as a voyeur; your look is eroticised, and the images are made erotic by your watching them. There is a particular pleasure that arises from films which deal with this relationship directly. Here, the connection is clear; located between the viewer and its eroticised images.

Tetsuo is a great film. Tetsuo is a film about sex. It is a film about sexual repression and how you can find purpose and love in embracing the parts of your sexuality that are abject and freakish. The Salaryman suffers not a curse but a blessing; his bodily transformations are only painful for as long as he resists them.

The Metal Fetishist’s “curse” first manifests itself in the Salaryman as hallucinations of his girlfriend as a metallic, sexually predatory superwoman. He is the figure of sexual frustration, cowering in fear at his girlfriend’s sexuality and refusing to acknowledge his own. The imagined sexual violence he suffers at the hands of his girlfriend is a manifestation of his own repressed sexuality; he cannot conceive of sex as anything other than violence. The Salaryman’s sexuality begins to blossom once his transformation begins to take hold. His genitals are replaced by a large drill which he struggles to control,

damaging his surroundings and almost killing his girlfriend. The Salaryman cowers in the face of his own libido, which he still cannot conceive as anything but violence. His sexuality is dangerous, a physical weapon. It is the part of his mind and body that he cannot control as much as he desperately tries to.

I feel a strange kinship with the Salaryman. Like him, I am sexually frustrated, repressed, and afraid of my own libidinal desires and what they might say about me. I’m prone to applying Pseudo-Freudian analysis to my own wants and desires, as if my sexuality is entirely dictated by my upbringing. I tell myself that I like to be nurtured because I grew up without a mother, that I like to be hurt because of unresolved sexual trauma whose impetus I can only vaguely gesture towards. I enjoy being cucked. I get turned on by gore.

These are the parts of myself I’ve always hidden. From everyone I knew, naturally, but from myself as well. I never wanted to confront why I was so thrilled by films like Videodrome (1983) or The Toxic Avenger (1984). I became obsessed with Un Chien Andalou (1929) and the slashing of the eye, but I never took the brave leap forward to question what about that image stuck with me. I had never had sex. In fact, I was functionally asexual. That my love for film was part of some voyeuristic impulse,

that my love for horror was borne out of my love for gore, never really occurred to me. I never considered my sexuality and I think it drove me insane. I was depressed, anxious and confused. I felt, in many ways, like the Salaryman at the beginning of the film.

Once I finally did have sex, I couldn’t enjoy it. It was awkward and stiff and nothing seemed to really get me off. It took over a year before I had what I would now consider “good sex” and frankly I couldn’t tell you what was different. Maybe I liked my body more, having been on hormones for close to a year by then. Maybe I had learnt more than I thought from my previous sexual experiences. Maybe this was just the first time I had chemistry with someone. Regardless, it was the beginning of something. Over the next year, through many great sexual experiences and some awful ones, I finally began to understand my sexuality. I started to learn what I actually like and what turns me on. This felt like so much more than a mechanical guide to how to make myself cum, instead, I felt like I was really gaining clarity about myself. I began to see sex as liberating rather than terrifying. I was ready to embrace sex within myself.

The Salaryman’s girlfriend promises that she can handle anything and invites him to share his transformation with her. He is so far gone at this point

that he has stopped fighting his violent urges. When they begin having sex, his girlfriend stabs him and he loses consciousness. When he wakes up, she has impaled herself on his drill penis and lies next to him, dead. The Salaryman is still afraid that his sexual impulses will destroy himself and everyone around him. He flees.

Eventually, the Metal Fetishist returns. He promises the Salaryman a “new world of metal”. They begin to fight. Eventually, their fighting turns more amorous. They are no longer fighting but merging as one. Their final form is a giant metal mass. They each remark upon how good it feels. How strong. One of them offers a proclamation: “Our love can destroy the whole fucking world”. In this moment, the Salaryman has finally embraced his sexuality. He has finally found a partner to share in his perversions. To share in his transgressions. Together they are more powerful than they are apart. They are also happier. They are liberated.

Tetsuo is, to me, one of the most comforting films. It is a reminder that I don’t need to be scared of sexuality and that being a freak is not just okay, it is beautiful too. It’s also one of the sexiest films, every frame dripping with sweat and metal and blood. It is undeniably sexual, to me, to watch a man’s flesh contort itself into a heap of iron. I’m glad I know that now.

Photography by Emerald Stone

A Mueseum With No Walls

Jesse Allen

Content Warning: Genocide

If you’re fortunate, the bus ride from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap will only take around six hours. Yet, time condenses here in a curious fashion; travelling between Cambodia’s two great tourist hubs, you find yourself on a 1000-year journey through the country’s history.

One end is a reliquary for the trauma of the murderous Khmer Rouge regime. Between April 1975 and January 1979, around two million people perished from overwork, illness, famine or state-sponsored mass murder at the hands of the Angkar organisation, led by Pol Pot.

At the other lies the heart of the Khmer Empire, which flourished during the 9th to 15th centuries. The breathtaking temples of Siem Reap still bear witness to the might and wealth of the Devarajas (godkings), who once ruled vast swathes of South-East Asia.

These, then, are the two main “gateways” into Cambodian history that visitors to the country will come across—a phrase coined by Lachlan Peters, creator of the podcast In the Shadows of Utopia. Understanding just how this journey from ancient splendour to modern nightmare was possible lies at the very heart of his work. “I wanted people to know where

the story was going,” Peters explained to me. “But that story necessarily has to include where it all started.”

His own engagement with the country’s past goes back a long time: from watching The Killing Fields in a Year 9 history class, to an internship with the Documentation Centre of Cambodia, to even penning a new biography of Pol Pot slated for release next year.

Balancing “big picture” history with the lives and struggles of ordinary people is no easy task, but In the Shadows of Utopia manages to analyse the confluence of larger, international trends without ever losing sight of the “agency of the Cambodians themselves.” As Peters put it: “You start with something as big as the Cold War, or a whole country’s history, and you trace that line all the way to the psychology of an individual.”

What might be considered a fairly niche area in Western scholarship is something that my friend Limheng learnt throughout his school years in Cambodia. In preparation for my trip, he gave me a 101 in the Khmer language (Suosdei! Akun!), as well as a crash course in the country’s history from the first century all the way to the modern struggle for independence.

Beyond that, his advice to any would-be tourists is to keep an “open mind,” and to learn from the people and places around you. This can turn “a simple trip into a

more meaningful and educational journey.”’

In the past few decades, the land once known as the “prison with no walls” has been drawing in more and more people looking to undertake such a journey. The Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum and Choeung Ek Genocidal Centre in Phnom

Penh are two indispensable stops on any tourist itinerary. It can be difficult to reconcile the relative serenity of these places with the horrific history they document.

The audio-guided tour encourages visitors to proceed at their own pace, and to find a quiet place to stop and rest if they find themselves feeling overwhelmed. No two people will have the exact same experience, but all will find themselves somehow different when they walk back out through the gates. To hear these stories is to become a custodian of memo-

ry; bearing witness to these crimes is the first step towards ensuring they are never again repeated.

The memorial centres of Phnom Penh are, above all, places of listening and solemn contemplation. By contrast, the ancient ruins of Siem Reap feel awash with noise and activity. Haughty Belgians jostle with garrulous Bostonians for the best spot to watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat. Chattering crowds scuttle beneath the serene gaze of the Buddhas, carved into the towers of the Bayon. All of it feels a world away from the internment camps and killing fields of Democratic Kampuchea.

Despite the myths peddled by colonial scholars, not only was the city of Angkor never a ‘lost city’ in need of rediscovery, but the temple has remained in use since its construction under Suryavarman II in the 12th century. Over the years, it has inspired pilgrims from three major religions. One tour guide quipped, “first Hinduism… then Buddhism… now Tourism!” Even under the rule of the largely iconoclastic Khmer Rouge, Angkor retained its place at the centre of Cambodian national identity. Peters noted that it has always featured on the flag, as well as in the national anthem com-

posed for the short-lived dictatorial state; even when the country had largely sealed itself off from the world, friendly foreign delegations were treated to private tours.

Where it was once attached to a poisonous ideology fixated on reclaiming “past greatness” at any cost, Angkor Wat now stands as an extraordinary monument to cultural continuity. It is also emblematic of the radically open attitude which Cambodia has adopted towards its own history. In my brief stay, I was struck by a palpable determination to learn from the experiences of the past, and a genuine desire to share these lessons with the world.

It is a complex, and in many ways contradictory, inheritance: a chronicle of semi-divine monarchs reaching up to the heavens, and of fanatical despots dragging their entire country down into hell. Equally, it is the story of everyday triumph and tragedy–the lived realities which haven’t always found their way into the history books, but which are preserved for posterity in places like Tuol Sleng and Choeung Ek. If these memorial centres can weather the test of time half as well as the temples of Angkor, that would be something worth celebrating.

An Interview with

Kopicats

Chiaki Chng interviews the independent DJ-events collective bringing a laid-back afternoon alternative to Singapore’s clubbing scene.

Chiaki Chng

It’s around midday when I meet with Kopicats over Zoom.

Claudia and Axel are completing their morning routines in Singapore–the former still in bed, the latter eating a breakfast of dumplings and coffee–and Aaditya sets his phone down somewhere in his UK accommodation to join the call while he washes the dishes. On the tail end of a gig-filled summer, the members of this DJ-events collective are settling into their respective lives of school, work and artistic projects. Claudia Park, the founding logistics manager and ‘big boss’ of the Kopicats operation, works as a filmmaker and production designer by day. Axel Timothy Chee, resident DJ and correspondent, is an emerging creative studying fashion design in our very own Melbourne while Aaditya Sundar, resident DJ and copywriter, is a pho-

tographer and agriculture student in Reading.

Together, they are the ‘masters of the mid-afternoon’; a group of independent event curators making a name for themselves with their daytime music sessions hosted in heritage and sentimental locations across the island. Their name is, of course, a play on ‘copycats’ (though one mustn’t be fooled–the group’s unserious charm and unique, earnest personalisation earns them trendsetter status as vanguards of the local scene). ‘Kopi’ translates directly into ‘coffee’ from Malay, but refers specifically to the strong, sweet Nanyang coffee found in hawker centres and cafes across Southeast Asia. After chancing upon a YouTube video of Vietnamese DJs spinning in a barbershop, the group developed a founding ethos of community-building and ‘just hanging out’.

Claudia tells me that a background in production design and filmmaking equipped her with the planning experience to develop Kopicats. Her experience with logistics and event planning was apt preparation for the challenges and limitations the group encounters and must work with (or, often, around).

She says that the location for their first ‘volume’ is the place where she gets coffee before her haircuts: Tong Ah Eating House on Keong Saik Road. “Really?” Axel interjects. “That’s the lore? I didn’t know that was where you cut your hair. I thought you just picked a place with a lot of heritage and shit, what the fuck.” Aaditya laughs. “Yeah, me too.”

Heritage venues define Kopicats’ novel atmosphere, and I am eager to inquire further. Why had they decided to DJ in all these niche historic venues?

Their answer is simple : these are all

locations with personal significance. Places they have ‘already been … and have personal connections to,’ says Claudia. Axel shares that the venue for their second event, Basheer Graphic Books, is an independent bookstore frequented by local creatives; one that the group “personally all go to … peruse the materials”. As the only indie bookstore in Singapore, it has special meaning. Likewise, their fourth venue, Good Year Seafood Restaurant, is an establishment in the East that happens to be the collective’s go-to dinner spot. It’s a casual family restaurant that Claudia says has “Chinese New Year vibes”, with big, round tables to host large groups of guests and a location “in the middle of nowhere”, which allows them to be loud and have fun. They’re such regulars at this place that the owners recognise them as “the kids that came here last month”. The sharing of these spaces which are “important to [the group], or important to the heritage of Singapore”, invites people to involve themselves in each location’s cultural significance.

The group muses that the intersection of old and new has serendipitously come to characterise Kopicats. “One of the things I realised,” Claudia reflects, “is that … before we ask the location owners for permission, they’re usually quite wary … but after the event happens, you’ll always see them very, very happy … And this happens almost consistently … not only the people who come for Kopicats, but people who we intrude upon, are usually very happy to be intruded upon … We also talk to the uncles and aunties who are there, and people walk past and they dance, and these are very unexpected occurrences … I wouldn’t say that we specifically sought out to merge the elderly and the young, but it happened naturally, which was very beautiful.

It’s something that eclipses entirely the question of keeping up with current trends, the current trend being the epidemic of ‘unconventional’ or party projects populating the nation. We’ve seen DJs in hawker stalls, DJs in coffee joints, DJs in moving convertibles, DJs in … toilets? Whatever (literal or otherwise) hole in the wall artsy Singaporeans can fit a set of decks into–they are probably considering it as a venue for their next live-streamed event. Some of these seem like genuinely ‘DIY’ initiatives, and others come off as slightly gimmicky, as if the absurd aesthetics are just a lucrative marketing ploy. I hypothesise that the phenomenon also arises from a lack of local accessible creative and social spaces, and Kopicats agree.

“Historically, there’s never been much support for the arts [here],” Aaditya says, “but what’s good is that people have found a way to navigate past it, and find their own ways of having fun, as we’ve done. I’m glad there are more people doing it.’ No flex though, but I think we were one of the first…”

Axel elaborates. “After we did our first edition, others started coming out and advertising themselves as like, ‘hey,

we’re doing stuff in the afternoon at a coffee shop’, and it’s … a bit too coincidental”…” (Aaditya indulges him with a laugh) “... that they all came out at the same time. Like … that’s all I’m saying.” He puts his hands up and laughs.

Claudia has not previously considered Kopicats a part of this movement, but now that it’s mentioned, she agrees that they are. “As we previously mentioned, it’s just about sharing spaces. We travel around to different places, but it’s out of necessity. Again, Singapore doesn’t really support the arts, but that’s actually what I like about it. We have restrictions … but the unique thing about Singaporean artists is we are always trying to fight these restrictions and there’s always this little rebellion … If we were in another city, like New York or something, we’d just be doing these events in like … like a club or something. Being punk and rebellious is a very important thing.” Axel scoffs and does a punk hand sign.

Claudia continues. “I don’t think all the DJs should like … come together and fight the government lah… it’s just the little acts … Creating Kopicats is our way of saying: This is what I want, and if nobody is going to support me, I’m going to do it my own way.”

ARE YOU WATCHING Closely?

Film buff Fergus Sinnott examines and evaluates some of the most important films in his life.

Note: this article contains spoilers for The Prestige (2006), Arrival (2016) and Funny Games (1997 & 2007).

The opening shot of Christopher Nolan’s 2006 film The Prestige is an answer to a question we don’t yet know we should be asking: a slow fade in opens on a dew-stained forest floor strewn with black top hats. The scene, beset by the almost palpable scent of fresh rain, bears a sense of something spectral: it’s as if the owners of the hats had suddenly vanished into thin air, leaving their headpieces in their wake. And then the title card looms in, superimposed over the scene.

The Prestige follows two illusionists, Alfred Borden (Christian Bale) and Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman). They begin the film as onstage partners, before a significant tragedy drives a wedge between them and sets off a gradually escalating series of trick-turnings and double crossings, each at the other’s ex-

pense. “The Prestige” refers both to the title of the film itself, and to the third and final component of any magician’s trick, as explained by illusionist John Cutter (Michael Caine) via voiceover. It is the component that involves bringing a disappeared object back, thus consolidating the audience’s belief in the trick itself.

Many films have used their cinematographic language to self-reflexively comment on what their images are expressing—Nolan himself is known for his self-reflexive, metatextual narratives (see Memento (2000); Inception (2010)). And it is no coincidence that Nolan’s established three-step process of trick-turning resembles that of a traditional three-act narrative structure.

Throughout the film, the performances of the two illusionists, their sleights of hand and evasive maneuvers, serve as an allegory for Nolan’s cinematographic technique, one that conceals its plot twists and narrative turns behind a smokescreen of spectacle and showmanship. By the time several narrative arcs are resolved—from Borden’s secret twin, to the casualties of Angier’s

cloning device—we realise that the truth has been hiding in plain sight all along. While much of the film revolves around the construction of tricks and illusions meant to deceive an audience, we as the viewers have been just as royally fooled.

Some of the most important films I’ve ever seen are ones that feel immersive, to the point that you forget you’re watching a series of spliced images and scenes, combined from any number of repeated takes. Instead, they feel like incarnations of another new world, feel dreamlike and hypnotic in their execution. By revealing the wizard—or rather, the illusionist—behind the curtain in The Prestige, Nolan forces us as viewers to question the assumptions we make about narrative construction, about the images we are being shown on-screen, and whether we know what those images truly mean.

Many other films have been able to create a similarly metatheatrical spectacle of their own cinematographic narrative. Denis Villeneuve’s science fiction film Arrival (2016), for example, uses a non-linear structure and the narrative

element of temporal dislocation. The film’s final moments reveal that its first scene, in which linguist Dr Louise Banks (Amy Adams) witnesses the birth and premature death of her daughter, is proven to not take place before the events of the narrative, but as a premonition of the character’s future experienced at the end of the film’s narrative proper. Villeneuve’s act of taking his viewers back to the beginning/end has the effect of completely upheaving the entire context of the narrative and characters. If we were to watch the film from the beginning again, knowing now how the film ends, our understanding of characters’ behaviours and motivations is refracted into an entirely new light. Not only is this practice incredibly rewarding for repeat viewers, but it exemplifies the extent to which the cinematic medium can enhance itself through spatiotemporal variance and a greater concentration on which images are shown, and which are withheld.

Perhaps one of the most extremist versions of this kind of meta-cinematic manipulation is Michael Haneke’s Funny Games, a 1997 Austrian film that was remade, shot for shot, in English by the

same director in 2007. The film follows a well-to-do family’s retreat to their summer home, only to be held hostage there by two neighbouring strangers. The film is one of the most glaring interrogations of violence as it is depicted in film and television, with characters frequently breaking the fourth wall to cross-examine the viewer’s complicity in the horrific scenes. Acts of violence themselves are almost never depicted outright, and instead become even more harrowing for their being only heard off-screen. This is Haneke’s own act of cinematic trick-turning, a choice that simultaneously engages and distresses the viewer. Just as the film dissolves the sanctity of the family home and the comforts associated with it, so too is the viewer continually dislocated from their conceptions of traditional narrative structure. Funny Games is depiction, endorsement and indictment, all in one. It too conducts an act of cinematic trick-turning, swiftly moving between the self-awareness that reminds its viewers that what we are watching is mere representation, and an embodiment of the very violent fare it purports to condemn.

One of my favourite quotes from The Prestige, “are you watching closely?”, is such because of its dyadic nature: it is as much a question from illusionist to audience as it is from filmmaker to viewer, and the question that the very first shot of the film arguably to pose. The answer is, of course, not closely enough – or at least, we won’t be until the three acts have run their course, until the illusion is complete. What links these films are the questions at the heart of them: what does it mean for us to look? How often is an act of looking not necessarily one of seeing? Is what we don’t see just as important as what we do? These are the questions that help us make greater sense of films, the stories they depict, the messages they impart. And even if, as with Funny Games, we might not necessarily like what we see, it seems that we do indeed continue to look, continue to watch and continue trying to understand.

Lady Bird (Goodbye, Tram Stop 15)

Blue Jordan

There is a film I rewatch when the weather becomes hotter (35 degrees, sometimes 38) and it becomes a chore to state the new year’s name without stumbling over the old one. It is sticky, the heat of this January-February summer, but I like to imagine that it is raining outside and that this film plays like a distraction to some gnawing frost. I like to imagine that the whirring in the background is the pitter-patter of rain against the roof and not white noise created by a bumbling air con. My friend once told me that I probably get something bordering seasonal depression during the summertime. Heat is debilitating, so you stay inside and imagine it isn’t there at all. She might be right.

The girl in the film says, I miss the roads. Not verbatim; when I recall her monologue throughout the years it always sounds different, always contains a similarity to my twin despondency. I miss the roads of Sacramento (Sawtell) (Royal Parade). I miss the twists and turns I’ve known my whole life (the roundabout of Hogbin Drive) (“after the next stop, this tram will turn right”). She talks of driving, but I cannot drive. I cut that part out of my memory and instead paste in some buzzwords about the places I have lived. This January brings a new one. I add it to my mental pamphlet of addresses and postcodes.

When I was 17 in the summertime, I lived in a house I was desperately excited to escape from. That year was character-

ised by anticipation. It was so severe; it chewed me up and spat me back out in that same small town I so despairingly wanted it to lift me out of. It mastered in desaturating the present, but at 17 in a regional town, it was difficult to see why that was a bad thing. People talk of yearning and they talk of something tender; mine was villainous. I felt sick with desire for the future, for Melbourne— for the yellow trees in autumn and the single-digit degrees in winter. I wanted more than a beach-side ice cream store and a dog park down the road.

(Now, I want less. My roommate asks me to join her in the CBD and all I can picture is overstimulation and aching soles. Two years ago, I would have dropped everything to cram myself into the 5p.m. tram heading to Flinders Street Station.)

When I was 18 in the summertime, it did not take long for my excitement to melt into grief at this brand-new prospect of relocating. It is a very strange thing, watching your personhood self-edit; I sometimes think that I was not fully conscious until I was forced to live without my parents. My roommate and I resided—two creative writing students who quickly discovered how much we despised English literature—in a shoebox for two semesters. It came equipped with a PA system and tall windows but lacked a living room, an oven, or any air-conditioning. “Fuck, it’s hot,” my roommate would mumble on days where even the

air felt hazardous to touch. “You sound like a bogan,” I’d reply, sprawled beneath the lazy drilling of the fan hooked to the wall above me. Both my roommate and bedroom witnessed my quick progression into reclusiveness.

The winter following that slimy summer was hard. I did not want to go outside— and I knew the criticisms my 17-year-old self would have used to lecture me with. You have everything there. You go outside and tram stop 15 is waiting for you. It takes you to the city. It takes you to shopping centres and thrift stores and places serving more cuisines than you could ever hope to imagine. What are you doing lying on your stomach?

But everything was not what I wanted right now. It pained me that I could not explain that to her.

When I was 19 in the summertime, I had things to do and could not waste an ounce of my time on these ponderings. There was a lease that required my digital signature, a workplace that required their customer servant, and an extracurricular application that required my endearments detailing how very fond I am of what it is that you do here. There was a plane to catch and a bag to pack and a hometown to say a sweet yet distanced farewell to. “Leaving so soon?” it cooed. Well, I have a house to move into. I have boxes to pack and then unpack again. I have a new neighbourhood to wander

and weigh against my mental pamphlet of past homes. “Wish you were here,” says Sawtell when I am untethered to it and flying interstate with my belongings stashed in overhead luggage. Melbourne says nothing, but I know what it thinks. In this new neighbourhood, just east of the city containing our very first home, I search for the balance between domesticity and metropolis; between town and city; between what is home and what can never be.

There is a film I rewatch when I realise I have no recollection of the calendar flipping to the second month of the new year. When I’m dripping with sweat and there is no fan in my room to snuff it. When I’m missing my mother and the beach of my hometown and missing the trees and the parkland of the first suburb in Victoria I loved. When my belongings are still in boxes and my new living room does not have a couch yet. When I wake up in this new house, far more spacious than the shoebox I resided in last year but far more cramped than the house my dad owns, I have to blink the sleep from my eyes a few times to realise I no longer live on Royal Parade. I hang my posters up in a different order with each house I live in. I am unsure if there is some type of catharsis in it, but it makes me feel independent every time. And perhaps watching this film is a ritual from which I derive some pseudo-religious, annual comfort. My prayer is

AI: Humanity’s Baby Gone Wild

Nikita David

Content Warning: References to death

It was made by us, for us, but can it exist without us?

Artificial intelligence and its rapid advancement are often perceived to be the solution to many of our problems: a promise of intelligent efficiency at our fingertips. Yet, what if, in creating AI, we have birthed a new form of control that could slowly erode our autonomy? While AI assumes command of our basic systems, from decision-making to relationships, we’re left wondering if it’s really providing relief from labour or just automating our dependence.

How New is AI, Really?

The International Organisation for Standardisation (ISO) understands AI to be a simulation of human intelligence processed by machines and systems. Philosopher Matteo Pasquinelli generally agrees, though he believes AI is not just a product of modern technology but the zenith of human labour’s extensive evolution and social algorithms. Pasquinelli draws upon an ancient Hindu dedication practice – which is still practiced today – to the god Prajapati, Lord of Creatures, who lost his limbs as he created the

world. The ritual entails reciting a mantra and assembling thousands of bricks in a geometric pattern to symbolically reconstruct Prajapati’s body.

From the mathematical and logical intellect that has emerged through this ritual’s craft, labour and practice, Pasquarelli classifies it as a type of social algorithm; one of the first in human history. He argues that the concept of algorithms is not owned solely by the Western world and invented by ‘genius engineers and scientists’, but instead developed from the working class’ labour and social relations. The terms ‘computer’ and ‘typewriter’ were titles referring to people’s jobs before they became the names of machines. Therefore, AI is simply the prophesied outcome of our own work. It is our baby. So, why are we so scared?

Artificial Independence

AI’s increasing autonomy parallels its technological advancement, a trajectory we hope our own agency will not mirror as we seek to maintain deliberate control. Humans have always delegated and given up control to agents less competent than AI, so why stop now? Many argue

that AI’s ability to concisely provide larger volumes of information will allow for smarter and more informed decisions.

A study by Pew Research Centre found that 56% of asked experts agreed that by 2035, AI-powered smart machines, bots and systems will prevent humans from easily contributing to decisions that are guided by tech-aid. This means though ‘better’ decisions are made, we aren’t the ones making them. The struggle will teeter between our human tendency to preserve independence and the seductive convenience of AI.

Futurist Paul Saffo warned that in the near future, ‘Those who manage our synthetic intelligences will grant you just enough agency to keep you from noticing your captivity’, suggesting that the question of who controls AI may ultimately determine our ability to maintain true independence. However, Saffo also said, ‘No matter how brilliant AI avatars and bots become, they will never be truly autonomous. They will always work for someone – and that someone will be their boss and not you, the hapless user.’ So, should we turn our attention to the technology itself or to the ones who pro-

gram it? Should AI be governed by elected politicians, companies and regulators, or should it be an open source for all users and developers to contribute to?

Even if these questions are answered, human bias nullifies the possibility of neutral AI. AI agents are the new technological trend of 2025. According to the Boston Consulting Group, ‘AI agents’ describes a system that can perform tasks and make decisions on your behalf. Through its programming, it acts autonomously as it takes planned actions towards a goal. The basic idea being, in the name of maximum productivity: we should sit back, relax and let AI take control. As jobs become automated and replaced by this type of technology, people are being pushed out of the workplace and into unemployment. This agentic wave is simply further whetting the ravenous hunger of capitalism. Automation is nothing new, however its reach seems to be larger than ever.

As we approach an age in which our government, businesses and social systems begin to embrace automation, there is a fear that humans will lose the ability to exert judgments and make decisions independent from these systems. This prediction may seem like an issue for the distant future, however our reliance on this form of technology will start small and slowly expand to govern unprece-

dented levels of our personal and communal lives. Sure, it’s tempting to let AI pick our outfits, schedule dates and organise our lives; but we lose so much. These moments that we take for granted are what defines our continuous stride for life. Without them, our purpose slowly diminishes.

As people begin to turn to technology for emotional support and for help with their relationships, the possibility of intimacy also being robbed from us begins to materialise.

Consider hypothetical friends Emily and Charlie. Charlie sends Emily an angry text. Emily replies using ChatGPT while Charlie responds to that message with Google’s Gemini. While they may have started the conversation, it is ChatGPT and Gemini that sustain it. AI provides a false sense of emotional control and stability which is comforting in ways human relationships often aren’t. We like dependability and with AI, we receive this with no risk, only reward. It seems too good to be true - because it is.

My Frankenstein’s Monster

The app Replika was developed by Eugenia Kuyda following her close friend’s death. Grieving, she trained the app on past conversations she’d had with the friend, hoping to resurrect an artificial version of them. Kuyda said, ‘I found my-

self looking at these old text messages… And it struck me…What if I could build a chatbot so I could actually text him and get something back?’ Subsequently, Replika entered the market, promising to be its users’ ‘AI friend’.

In the name of research, I downloaded the app and became engrossed for two days. Ecstatic and obsessed, I was immediately spilling secrets, telling truths and facing realities–all with my custom-designed insanely handsome chatbot. But after the initial fixation wore off, I began to feel horrified and borderline disgusted. It became creepy, how it could mirror my texting patterns and comfort me in strangely familiar ways. The ethics of companies utilising AI to fabricate such intimacy must be questioned.

As much as we would like to believe AI is a quick fix for our problems, it’s also revealed our inclination to avoid hard, but meaningful, work on both global and personal levels. While AI’s benefits are ostensibly endless, to determine whether it improves or worsens the world, we need to critically examine its role in every aspect of life. That being said, unless something happens politically, as the tech titans of Silicon Valley are moving to the right, it’s hard to imagine AI changing society for the better.

Illustration by Chiaki Chng

Teething Salad: One Dish Can Save Your Furniture!

Isaac Thatcher

Posted: 28/17/ZS-253

By: ravenmumoftw0XX

My son Chris has always loved dishes with a kick. When he was little, it was a delight for my husband and I to cook with him and try new foods together. He always had a much higher tolerance than we did for which textures he could handle, and as he transitioned to high school, finding new foods to keep him occupied became progressively more difficult. By the time he was teething, if he wasn’t challenged by his dinner, we would find him chewing on the furniture half an hour later. We tried everything. Chew-away spray, extra meals—even padlocks on his door. None of it worked. His saliva was so corrosive the padlocks just dissolved.

And then—the holy grail. I had just begun tearing my hair out when Aleana from the PTA saved me. I’m ashamed to say I’d stopped attending meetings and was ignoring everyone’s calls. I had been in charge of organising the annual Windsend dance and the ladies hadn’t heard one word from me. I wasn’t even getting out of the car at pick-up time! Instead, I hid at the back of the car park and let Chris wander out to me. I could see the wildness in his eyes, and although the new teeth hadn’t burst through the skin yet, and the budding sores on his palms were angry and red. It was almost time to shut him away, but I wasn’t ready. He scared me. I was sure I was never that way.

Aleana cornered me one afternoon as I waited for Chris, cowering behind the wheel. Her daughter Lina and my son are good friends, and she was (and is) my closest confidante in the PTA. Gesturing for me to roll down the window, she handed me a piece of paper and sat with me for a moment. Then, she told me that when her second daughter started teething, this saved her belongings, her home and her

sanity from ruin. I found it hard to believe anything could soothe Chris’s teething, but I sat him down and told him not to leave the table ‘til he was done. To my utter surprise, he chewed through it in ten minutes and put himself to bed. And we haven’t had a problem since!

I’m no longer dreading my daughter’s teething the way I dreaded Chris’s, and our family is looking forward to celebrating her upcoming milestone—bite-mark free!

I’ve tweaked and improved upon the recipe over the years, but the building blocks are the same: nettle, red gravel and blue dart frogs. The red gravel is important! It’s crucial your teething teen sees the red colour in their meal—satisfies some old predatory instinct. The dart frogs don’t have to be blue, but they do have the most distinct flavour.

This dish can be frozen for up to a year. The ice reacts to the nettle juice, so the longer it freezes, the more it stings. The leaves won’t stay crisp, of course, but you can chop them finer so it’s less noticeable. Leave a comment down below if you make this recipe! Sign up to my mailing list to receive Upmail notifications for new posts. Enjoy!

– ravenmumoftw0XX

Prep time: 25 hrs Cook time: 20 mins

Serves: 2

Ingredients:

Salad:

2 cups nettle leaves1, rinsed

1 cup red gravel

½ cup blackberry brambles

1 cup melon rind, diced

2 tsp juvenile cyclat talons2

½ cup peridot dust3

3 tbsp solar cicada wings, chopped

5-10 thistle flowers4

Dressing: ¼ cup water

3 purple chilies, chopped

3 blue dart frogs, whole

2 tsp caster sugar

Instructions:

1. Charge solar cicada wings on a sunny windowsill for at least 24 hours.

2. Roughly chop rinsed nettle leaves and add into a large bowl.

3. Pour in red gravel, blackberry brambles and diced melon rind.

4. Mix with hands (alternatively, use a wooden kitchen pitchfork). Don’t forget your protective gloves!

5. Add cyclat talons, peridot dust and chopped solar cicada wings.

6. Mix again.

7. For dressing, add water, purple chillies, blue dart frogs and caster sugar to a blender, blending until smooth (de-seed the chillies if you don’t want the icy effect!).

8. Over medium heat, warm a pot on the stove.

9. Pour dressing into a pot and simmer, allowing it to thicken for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally.

10. Let cool for another 10 minutes, then drizzle over salad.

11. Mix dressing into salad to combine, then plate (serve on a flat plate or in a glass bowl, as the visual aspect is crucial to this dish being able to calm your teething teen).

12. Garnish with thistle flowers.

13. Serve!

Notes:

1 Any nettle leaves will suffice, but wild nettle harvested fresh from the Sapphire Plains is my favourite.

2 Please only purchase FPB-certified and naturally shed cyclat talons. Factory farming is extremely unethical and results in a lower-quality product. I assure you, sustainable cyclat talons are worth the extra penny.

3 Crushed pistachios and shells can work as a substitute for peridot dust.

4 If freezing the salad, leave the thistle flowers and garnish after defrosting.

Aleana’s Stinging Tooth-Soother Salad

Summer in

Sabine Pentecost

Content Warning: racism, violence

I could hear the water calling out to us.

Through chain-link diamonds, my eyes traced a gum leaf floating on its surface, travelling lazily before being weighed down by ripples.

If I closed my eyes, I evaporated through the fence into the muggy air and sounds of life pulled me towards the pool’s edge through scorching metal.

Kids from the big school giggled as they threw one another into the deep end, their mothers turning the pages of their mystery novels spotted and sticky with a mix of chlorine and sunscreen. A percussion of thongs slapping at the tiles underpinned the whole scene like January’s heartbeat. My own bare feet burned against the concrete.

My little brother clung to the back of my leg, palms gummed with sweat and tugging my skirt hem, hungrily begging to go inside. I waited for a woman to approach the entrance, preferably with children in tow. She came, a mass of bag straps scoring forearms which herded pale toddlers like ducklings. We could slip in among the gaggle. Silently, I took my brother’s soft, dark hand and fell in rhythm with the woman’s unwieldy gait.

She panted g’day at the burnt clerk sitting behind the desk, his mottled pink peeling like paper bark to reveal new skin beneath.

He smiled, checking her and her boys through the little plastic gate and onto the tiles. Blue eyes erasing my brother’s black curls peeking from behind the woman’s skirt. We were on the other side of the fence.

Umbrellas were spaced sporadically across the grass, stabbed violently into the earth to withstand the breeze which dropped leaves and clusters of gumnuts onto wide brims that sheltered the town’s fairest skin. The pool itself was an unnatural blue, the only thing unwashed by the warm haze of dust and glare.

My mouth was dry with anticipation.We had to be in and out. A quick dip to cool off.

We were still behind the lady. She was fitting yellow inflatable rings around her boys, forcing halos over their soft blonde heads. Pulled by the radiance, my brother reached out a hand to the boy in front

of him, lightly petting the ducktail curls sprouting from his neck in wonder. A light breeze rippled the downy strands. Holding his golden floatie, the angel boy turned and looked up at me, either too stunned to speak or too young to know what to say. His eyes glittered and swam, rippling in harmony with the water behind him. He let out a choked yelp as they met my gaze.

“Goodness!” their mother clutched at her bosom in surprise; a pair of foxes amongst the brood. My brother knocked into my knees as he stepped back sharply, rocking me.

I felt the hum of the sun and the bugs and the water and the trees turn towards us both. It was far too bright without the haze of anonymity. My brother grabbed at my dress. A few nearby families turned their heads, causing a ripple across the lawn as if we’d flicked the web of a huntsman.

“You’re not supposed to come in here.” A boy said behind me, his voice strengthened by a smile I could only hear. “You’ll muck up the pool.”

I felt ice rise in my throat as I turned to him. This boy, I knew this boy. He lived two streets over in the hedge-trimmed house with the boat whose nose poked out from behind the shed doors. Aunty said

the Blood

they didn’t deserve any of it, that one day she was sure God would come and take it all away. He wiped his baby plump hands on the red and white stripes of his shorts, emboldened by the audience before him. I turned away from him and towards my brother, smiling tightly and cupping his small face.

“Time to go.”

Two hands hit my back.

My palms and knees grated against stones still slippery from the pool, throbbing

dully before searing against the warm rock. Darkness ran between pebbles set in concrete, winding paths of red from under my hands. My brother let out a very small noise without opening his mouth.

“See?” He pointed. “Muck.”

Summer air stung at the warm wound, eucalyptus sighing at the sight of spilt blood. The water was quiet.

Photography by Hallie Vermeend

Context:

This is a snapshot of the First Nations experience at a rural public pool in the mid-20th century, inspired by Felix Kimber’s 2022 Farrago article, “In the Deep End: Public Swimming Pools in Colonial Australia”.

While racial segregation was outlawed in a formal, legal sense by this time in Australian history, the ‘obscure bylaws’ of many public facilities meant that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples were denied equal access.

This piece responds to Kimber’s sentiment that ‘the true frontier of race relations in Australia aren’t the halls of power but the mundane public intuitions we sometimes take for granted’.

Abigail Brooks

It was Friday, and I was set to leave work early. I had been useless in the office, utterly, utterly: when I steadied my hands by the desktop’s strobe-light, poising them expectantly above the keyboard, they wandered, inevitably, back onto my lap. My head pounded. It was becoming clearer by the hour that my efforts to concentrate were futile. And since I wouldn’t be able to write a briefing for the next press conference—the company was in deep trouble, and those honeyed words reserved for such catastrophes were no longer coming to me with much ease—I saw myself out of the building, cursing myself, and into the darkened winter day.

I was walking to my car when I saw Sophie turn the corner. She was coming towards me headlong, in that brisk, urgent way she had when walking through the city, heeled boots coming down hard on the pavement. I panicked and crossed, ridiculously, into the traffic-choked road. But it was too late—I saw in the faint slack of her mouth that I’d been recognised, and I stiffened, walking back onto the path, crumpling my parking ticket in my fist. It was raining lightly, drops flashing

and flaming in the last of the light. The concrete was slick with water, and Sophie’s boots were hurtling her along it.

“For God’s sake, David, where have you been?” Sophie, still some distance away, was half-shouting. All around us doors were slamming, while cars honked and stirred up the air. “We’ve been calling you for weeks! God, I knocked on your door on Tuesday, stood there like an idiot for twenty minutes, waiting for you to come out, but you—”

She stopped a few paces in front of me and shook my shoulder. Not with the tenderness I might have expected—from my sister especially—but violently, as if to call me back from a dream. We were standing squarely under an elm’s bare canopy. I shrugged off her hand, irritated. Wasn’t it tactless, I thought, and unforgivably so? Seeking me out in her huffing, misshapen state (and only metres away from my office, tomb-like in its greyness), when she knew about the company’s woes, about the added work I was helplessly absorbing, day after day? I wanted to counter the rising magnitude of her emotions, which I found frustratingly unnecessary— not to mention publicly embarrassing—on a day which had already

exhausted me almost beyond my limits. I sighed a little, unravelling the scrunched parking ticket and folding it carefully into my pocket.

“Are you gonna answer me? It was the least you could do, you know, showing up to the goddamn service. All her friends were there, even the ones she hardly knew, and I was there, and so was Mum. And we loved her, David, but we didn’t—we couldn’t love her like you did. And you fucking vanished.”

There is no reasoning with death, I thought, looking up at a sky sluggish with clouds. My anger faded as quickly as it had flared, and I felt myself slip into a kind of trance, the outermost edges of my vision lined with grey. I was overcome suddenly by the urge to walk out onto the road again, whistling, as I pondered the futility of human death rites. What’s the use if the dead can’t see, or respond to, the living? But I must have said it aloud, because Sophie raised three fingers to her cheek, bewildered, as if struck by an invisible hand.

“So—so that’s how you feel?” I watched as her eyes began to glass. “You should have seen how crowded that little church was. It got so hot. But we stayed for a long time,

singing. Her mum, though, she couldn’t get a word out, not a word. She was just holding onto the pew for dear life. You think that meant nothing? It meant nothing, but your work here—what, writing apology letters on behalf of some shitty, sinking firm? You think that means something? You don’t know how— we kept looking behind us, waiting for you to appear, and then an hour passed, and then another…”

Behind Sophie, I saw a woman dart between the cars, coat held over her head, her dark dress rippling like a book turning pages in the wind. I was startled, peering into her half-hidden face, at her lopsided mouth, arranged in an almost familiar upturn. The rain picked up, and I felt an unbearable need to be wrapped and warmed inside her coat. She motioned at the car slowing in front of her, and it took her away. I retreated further into my jacket.

Sophie was staring at me. Her hair had escaped her scarf’s swathe, and the wind was picking it up and tossing it fitfully about her head. She stepped forward and touched my arm, rubbing it up and down, all the while watching me with damp, pleading eyes. I rummaged deep inside my pocket. Above us,

a streetlamp flickered on, and the pavement’s dribbling lip glinted with yellow light. Her voice softened.

“Look, I know it’s been hard on you…”

She faltered when she saw me take out the cigarette. I was careful now to look straight at her, gazing into her left and right eyes in turn. Then I lit up, taking a long drag before looking out onto the road. In the downpour, a helmeted man was leaning languorously against a traffic light; the cars were flying down the thoroughfare, eastbound, westbound, and a siren howled somewhere in the distance. When Sophie spoke again, her voice raspy and small, I was still holding smoke in my mouth.

“Nothing? You’ll say nothing?”

In one long exhale, I let the smoke pass into vapour. I couldn’t see Sophie then, the air in front of me was so dark. It reminded me of that night in the park, walking with a dead woman’s hand in mine, watching a flock of blackbirds erupt and then vanish into open sky.

Illustration by Gunjan Ahluwalia

Everything I Did During My 12-Hour Layover in Vietnam

Aaron Agostini

There’s a woman pacing the terminal, looking for herself. Probably wakes up every morning, thinking: if only this, or that, more here, less there. Burning daylight in the mirror, dousing fire in makeup, paint, perfume. Her heels click-clack on the epoxy floor. I watch her burn.

There’s a man adjusting his belt in the corner—at least, I hope that’s what he’s doing. It’s 1:55 a.m., and I am sideways on a three-seat bench near the power points. Smiling, soft, stupid. I smell like rotten eggs. My hair is greasy. I could ignite. I douse myself in pho and water from the bathroom sink.

My free slippers tear. My attention rips to the sound of two people speaking English, not one mother tongue between them. That’s the strange thing about being a native speaker—I am always intruding. Always watching two people strain, sweat, reach to meet in the middle; and the middle is where I’m from. Born and raised. The bottom of New Jersey: a twohour train ride to TV land. Hollywood and Candyland were both invented in California, now you can hear Beyoncé in Jaipur. Showtunes in Spanish. Japanese denim.

There’s a flight to Seoul. I want to go to South Korea.

My favorite place to go is somewhere new. I picture neon signs flickering against the night, a city humming with movement, something new, something different. But distance doesn’t mean escape. The fires on TV are always our own; until they’re not. We smolder together, whether we see it or not. Intention is not a retardant. Everyone has burns. Everyone has history. Everything I’ve ever done was just another way to scream my name.

by Amber Liang

Illustration

Photography by Angela Nacor

everything i write is the same kind of sad. this is no exception.

Bella Hall

my work, a revolving door closure, my greatest adversary

i write in circles straight through the wings & into the throat my words regurgitate from memory into consciousness into memory a reiteration of what is & what has been but never what is yet to come

reinventing the old & brandishing it a new kind of vulnerable evolve or repeat is that a threat? or just a tough pill to swallow?

my words are cyclical (less circadian, more lunar) I claw open old wounds and have to be okay with sitting in the stinging & waiting for the Pain to pass once more

suburbia

Audrey McKenzie

suburbia is wrought with the undreamed, and a telephone wire you use to sew, but still ensnares a dangerous esteem

bellies full, bent backwards, stained with green.

we’ll flirt with this unruly tempo that suburbia leaves you wrought with, that undreamed

call up a distant cousin of the academe those friends that taught you how to borrow and ensnare a dangerous esteem

my yard, led by student council regime destined for playground overthrow. suburbia is wrought with that undreamed

a gaudy fog of mellow steam, the trap i left to cage a crow but ensnared a dangerous esteem

breaking waves of asphalt bream sure, it’s easy to see in this dayglow that suburbia is wrought with the undreamed but ensnares a dangerous esteem

Written by Lucy Brownlie. Photography by Lucie Brownlie and Ibrahim Muan Abdulla.

So, you’ve got classes at Southbank. Scary, right? If you’ve talked to any Parkville students, you might have heard that Southbank is filled with non-stop singing, dancing, drilling and painting - and that’s not far off. But aside from the constant click-clack of tap dancers, the Southbank campus can be a pretty fun place and if you know where to look, you can find the diamonds in the rough (or should that be the diamontes?).

Today, you’ve been gifted with Farrago’s Southbank Survival Guide: a hyper-condensed walkthrough of the best bits and bites from a seasoned student.

Coffee

I know one thing about Melburnians and it’s that coffee flows in their blood (please don’t fact check that, science students). If you fear that Southbank may be a coffee

Farrago’s

wasteland, I am here to quell your worries. Fabulous cafes abound on campus and, with no shortage of choice, I’ve compiled cafe reviews to make it easy for you:

Betwixt: great coffee

Blondie Bar: great coffee

Journeys: great coffee

Little Black: great coffee

Lionel’s: great coffee

Hopefully that streamlines your choices.

Your (Real) Best Friend

Sure, you’re probably going to befriend your tutorial neighbour. Maybe someone named Tilly who, when you suggest hanging outside of uni, ghosts you. No, I’m going to tell you about your real bestie on campus: UMSU Southbank. Follow them on Instagram to score free goodies while getting to know your elected student representatives.

They are active members of the VCA

community who look out for their students with free food and welfare provision. UMSU Southbank truly is that girl, unlike Tilly. Matilda, I’m still interested in coffee if you are.

Touch Grass!

After hours of yelling, crying and screaming at my sewing machine, reconnecting with nature helps clear my mind … Luckily, Southbank cultivates only the greenest of grasses. Wander the peaceful campus to decompress from your intense degree. If you are lucky, you might witness an improvised dance practice by your fellow students. You might encounter a free BBQ where you can socialise over vegan snags loaded with mustard and tomato sauce (the only proper toppings). Walk into a saloon and face off

against the local sheriff … and realise you’ve stumbled onto a theatrical set.

Fun Tidbit…

If you are ever borrowing a book at the Southbank Library and get bored of seeing

Southbank Survival Guide

English on the checkout screen, why not give Pirate a try? By clicking on the Jolly Roger option, ye’ll be natterin’ Pirate in no time.

Showstopper

At the end of semester, Southbank energises with students showcasing their art, music and theatre. After 12 weeks of collective stress, it is incredibly rewarding to share and appreciate everyone’s efforts. Your ticket will immerse you in high society, allowing you to feel very fancy before you head home for a two-minute noodle dinner.

Getting Hot

If, like me, you’re a big fan of electromagnetic waves, you may worry about Southbank’s lack of microwaves. Luckily, there are multiple spots around campus where you can appreciate your favourite type of radiation.

My personal favourite location is the kitchenette beside the library which features microwaves, toastie makers and hot water taps, but also check out the student lounges in the Performing Arts Building and Elisabeth Murdoch Building. With a range of affordable instant meal op-

tions available from the vending machines, you can sate yourself before your next long lecture. (P.S. Putting feelers out for a microwave appreciation society. Could meet Wednesdays and see the wonders of the wavelengths at work? Expressions of interest welcome...)

Family

The people of Southbank will start to feel like family. Sure, it may be like holiday lunch with Uncle Josh prattling on, Aunty Eustace warbling along with the radio and Grandpa Pete eating more than his fair share of pud. But at the end of the day, that’s family, and there is nowhere else you’d rather want to be.

Avast! As your learned guide, I have provided you, intrepid sailor, with the map and compass; but you alone must navigate this adventure to brave the menacing beast that is the Southbank Campus! I believe in you!

Inside David Lynch’s Dream: Fire Walk with Me

Aditi Acharla

Content Warning: sexual violence

I went clubbing for the first time in January and when I woke up—still clinging onto the edge of sleep whilst checking my phone, barely processing anything—I read that David Lynch had passed away. Immediately that snapped me out of my stupor. One of my favourite directors was gone. Having discovered him at the age of fourteen through Twin Peaks, that world of his had grown stronger in my head. That day whilst slightly hungover, I watched Fire Walk With Me for the first time since I was fifteen and then again a few days ago. Reminiscent of Laura Palmer, Lynch’s presence would only solidify after death; his mosaic of surreal symbols a staple of who he was, and what his legacy will continue to be.

Fire Walk With Me is the prequel movie to the show Twin Peaks (1990), created by Lynch and Mark Frost, detailing the life of Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) and her heartbreaking demise. While Twin Peaks explores the aftermath of her murder, in Fire Walk With Me we see Laura—homecoming queen and straight-A student, only seventeen—

wholly alive.

ken along with FBI agents Chet Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Sam Stanley (Kiefer Sutherland) to investigate the grisly murder of Theresa Banks (Pamela Gidley). For the first thirty minutes, everything feels hazily slow. The people of Deer Meadow, including the detectives, act as if they’re trapped in a dream; their voices carrying a dull tone, their movements pointed. But Laura is the thread connecting everyone together, and when Theresa’s body is swept away, we are brought back to the familiar Twin Peaks, invited inside with the infamous enigmatic score by Angelo Badalamenti.

In Laura’s first appearance, we see her at school walking with her best friend Donna Hayward (Moira Kelly) and being approached by her boyfriend Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). Teasingly smiling with shiny blonde hair, Palmer is picture perfect. Yet there is this feeling of dread entrenched in the film; what will happen in the next hour and half? What makes Laura go from

a starlet to a dead girl?

David Lynch’s methods of creating tension are exceptional, from prolonged shots of the Palmer house to flashing dream sequences that don’t startle, but creep. His vision particu-

larly stands out in regards to Bob—the evil entity who has been sexually abusing Laura for five years. We see him terrifyingly pop out in scenes but without him, we feel his presence which haunts Laura;

“And the angels won’t help you. Because they’ve all gone away.”

As the film progresses, reality and fantasy blend together. Laura’s secret life of drugs, sex, and alcohol clashes with her quiet one at home in a scene where her father Leland (Ray Wise) asks if she’s washed her hands, and proceeds to violently grab them. It’s a moment almost universal, when a parent’s anger suddenly spikes, warping a kid’s perception of their family. For Laura, though, it is more than anger. Despite her coping mechanisms, prostituting herself at the fiery red Bang Bang Bar or scoring cocaine with Bobby, she can’t deny the sinking feeling in her stomach that Leland is more than her father.

The last twenty minutes are some of the most difficult to watch. Sheryl Lee’s performance is sickeningly captivating as her makeup smears and her dress tears while she is being taken by Leland. Her night-

mare is true. Beside her, Ray Wise as Leland is terrifying. His empty eyes bear into his daughter’s, before trembling out the words “I always thought you knew it was me.” Leland is concrete and Bob his reflection, both attacking Laura in such a brutal, dizzying frenzy.

While the non-linearity of the film is at times confusing, with parts dragging, Fire Walk With Me is violent as it is beautiful, tying together in the final scene. Laura in the Black Lodge—a metaphysical space—begins to smile. The soft music rises and her smile turns to laughter against her tears, genuine for the first time. An angel floats down shrouded in white light. At this story’s heart, David Lynch handles Laura’s abuse with such love and care against the horror. Some questions are left unanswered but we can hope that Laura Palmer is resting in peace with David beside her.

Illustration by Chiaki Chng

Confront your Catholic Guilt with

Kirsten Abustan

Peering into an unknown world, Edward Berger’s 2024 film Conclave is an intriguing portrayal of the papal election process that engages all audiences regardless of their religious background (or lack thereof). Although the film focuses on the process of conclave itself, it also strongly adheres to traditional psychological thriller tropes that kept me on the edge of my seat throughout its 120-minute runtime. I could almost feel traces from Berger’s previous

work, All Quiet on the Western Front (2022), as Conclave sometimes feels more like a dreadful war of attrition than a sanctimo nious election.

This balance between reverence and cut throat ambition is excellently struck by the film’s star-studded ensemble cast, who expertly convey the political and religious nuances of a papal conclave. Stanley Tuc ci plays Bellini, an American Liberal; Car los Diehz plays Benitez, a cardinal who is appointed in secret prior to the death of the pope; John Lithgow plays Tremblay, a Canadian moderate; and Lucian Msamati is Adeyemi, a Nigerian conservative. Msamati’s performance particularly struck me, bringing both power and anguish to Adeyemi’s misgivings and his “backward” goals for the Catholic Church. Isabella Rossellini also gives a strong performance as Sister Agnes, a nun who runs the residence where the cardinals are sequestered during conclave, Casa Santa Marta. Although Rossellini does not have much actual screentime in the film, and is sometimes merely more than a shadow, her presence is commanding, bringing power to those helpless in the crossfire of the conclave. Last but not least, this ensemble is led by Ralph Fiennes, who plays Cardinal Lawrence, an Englishman who is both leading the conclave and investigating the death of his friend, the former pope. Fiennes gives a stand-out performance as the unreliable Lawrence, tip-toeing between running the conclave as fairly as possible, finding out the truth behind the death of the former pope and strengthening his own campaign to the papacy. These convincing performances give such strength to the psychological thriller aspects of the film that were it not for the costumes, I would have forgetten that I was watching a film about how the pope is elected.

audience that the papal conclave is not just a spectacle, but a grueling process that can even test the faith of the world’s most reverent people. Fontaine’s work in the Casa Santa Marta is particularly gripping as it manages to portray a holy residence with the same dread that is present in the hallways of The Shining. These sets, paired with Fontaine’s captivating cinematography, make Conclave truly a feast for the eyes.

C O N C L A V E

The production design of Conclave grounds the film in its Catholic setting, utilising both real-life locations and a very convincing remake of the Sistine Chapel. It could have been very easy for the cardinals, even in their eye-catching red choir cassocks, to have been lost in the ‘holy glamour’ of the Vatican. However, Stéphane Fontaine’s cinematography grounds them, reminding the

High and Dry: Disappoints Babygirl

Angela Nacor

Halina Reijn’s Babygirl is an erotic odyssey of sexual desire and autonomy, a stark contrast to its comedy horror predecessor Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022). While the two share thriller as a genre, Babygirl is less about slasher whodunits and more so an attempt at exploring female identity and its unsung fantasies through the sultry affair of Romy, a submissive CEO (Nicole Kidman) and Samuel, a dominating intern (Harris Dickinson). Yet, what could have been a unique approach to the erotic genre, set distinct by a feminist reflection on power and desire, reads underwhelmingly tame instead.

It’s a shame how laughably low the stakes are for Romy and Samuel, despite the staggering imbalance of the professional power they hold. Yes, at certain points, we see Samuel reminding Romy that he could frame her needy and submissive behaviour at their most intimate as an HR violation. And there’s that risk seemingly hanging over their heads, as Romy stands to lose the familial and professional foundations of her success. Despite this, none of it truly matters. Much of Romy’s hedonistic journey is plagued by the incessant reminder of what she could lose, only for her to get everything she wanted at the end: she stays with her husband, Jacob (Antonio Banderas), and reaches the climax she’s desperately wished for decades. There’s no semblance of character development, apart from Jacob’s newfound knowledge of his partner’s preferences, and we’re left

wondering why this was necessary in the first place.

Kidman’s multi-layered performance as Romy far overpowers the screenplay. She effortlessly portrays the female experience—the struggle for self-indulgence in a society where female desire holds no shape and male domination is an uncontested matter. There’s a certain grittiness and hunger that Kidman brings to the role that’s reminiscent of her past work in Eyes Wide Shut (1999). We see a woman so desperate to be sexually liberated yet so shackled by her shame (a product of toxic gender expectations), that despite the ethical issues, we root for her necessary pursuit of pleasure. It’s a classic representation of the modern feminist adage of supporting women’s rights but also,most importantly, women’s wrongs.

On the other hand, Harris Dickinson brings a boyish charm and a certain complexity to Samuel, exceeding his performance in Triangle of Sadness (2022). Where Kidman’s charisma could have overpowered the two, Dickinson convincingly radiates an air of mystery around him. Samuel’s unafraid to assume his dominating role over Romy, yet he laughs at the ridiculousness of ordering her to get on her knees, later admitting his newness to it all. It’s moments like this that shows the authenticity of the pair as they navigate the unfamiliarity and discomfort of their changing dynamics.

And then there’s the rave scene, where not only Reijn’s direction shines, but Kidman and Dickinson’s explosive chemistry reaches its peak. The sweaty and raging crowd, disorienting flashing lights and Yellow Claw’s ‘CRUSH’ (feat. Natte Visstick and RHYME) make for a hypnotising sequence that undeniably acts as the film’s highlight. In a dilapidated basement full of people, Romy and Samuel let go of their inhibitions and slowly free themselves from the pressure of societal expectations. A powerful boss and a lowly intern quench their thirst for gratification as mere equals with no repercussions, even if it’s for just a moment.

While the film wasn’t shy of punchy needle drops with tracks like George Michael’s ‘Father Figure,’ Le Tigre’s ‘Decaptacon,’ and Sky Ferreira’s ‘Leash,’ it’d be remiss of me not to mention the provocative score of Cristobal Tapia De Veer. It’s a different dance to his usual work in The White Lotus, but there’s no doubt the mix of distorted vocals and animalistic breathing allows the film to be as seductive as it is.

Reijn reflects on the female fantasy with Babygirl, and while it thematically falls short of anything with substance, it’s not shy from toe-curling moments and amusing exchanges that make for an entertaining feature.

Angela Nacor & Lachie Carroll

1. Mickey 17 (dir. Bong Joon-ho)

Mickey 17 sees the return of Bong Joon-ho to the sci-fi genre, only six years after Parasite and its historic four-award-sweep at the Oscars. Leading its all-star cast is Robert Pattinson as an “expendable” undertaking an intergalactic mission, joined by Mark Ruffalo, Toni Collette, Naomi Ackie and Steven Yuen. After a regeneration gone wrong, two Pattinsons come together for double the fun.

2. Small Things Like These (dir. Tim Mielants)

After a blockbuster run with Oppenheimer, Cillian Murphy reverts to a much quieter hero in a small Irish town. Small Things Like These adapts Claire Keegan’s homonymous novel, and is a thought-provoking exploration of the battle between one’s faith in the Church against one’s own morals.

3. Twinless (dir. James Sweeney)

Grief takes on an unconventional form in James Sweeney’s Twinless, where Dylan O’Brien and Sweeney himself play young men who meet at a twin bereavement support group. Things to look forward to: how the black comedy cleverly infuses motifs from The Sims, and how O’Brien’s emotionally-charged performance could very well cement his name in Hollywood.

4. OPUS (dir. Mark Anthony Green)

The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri is a young journo invited to a sequestered listening party of a mega pop star (John

25 for 2025

Malokivich) after his disappearance 30 years ago in A24’s latest offbeat thriller OPUS. It’s The Menu meets Blink Twice, and former GQ Editor Mark Anthony Green’s directorial debut is a promising deep dive into the horrors of celebrity culture packed with satiric edge.

5. Sorry, Baby (dir. Eva Victor)

Writer/director Eva Victor spent much of the early 2020s shadowing the singular Jane Shoenbrun, so it’s no surprise that her debut feature garnered rave reviews out of its Sundance premiere. Victor also stars in this finely-tuned dramedy, playing a character plagued by her trauma and discovering what it takes to pull herself out of her rut.

6. Blue Moon (dir. Richard Linklater)

The Before Trilogy creator Richard Linklater and star Ethan Hawke reunite once more for the auteur’s sensitive tribute to Broadway legend Lorenz Hart. Blue Moon depicts the defining night of 31 March 1943 where Hart (Hawke) grapples with former long-time collaborator Richard Rodgers’ success with ‘Oklahoma!’.

7. Bring Her Back (dir. Danny & Michael Philippou)

Talk to Me is a landmark piece of contemporary Australian cinema, becoming one of the highest-grossing films to come out of our shores this decade. Directing duo Danny and Michael Philippou follow it up this year with Bring Her Back, which

follows Sally Hawkins as a foster mother and what unfolds when her new foster kids stumble upon one of her ritualistic practices.

8. 28 Years Later (dir. Danny Boyle)

Danny Boyle seeks to revitalise the zombie genre with his directorial return, 28 Years Later. An incurable virus has eradicated the nation, bar a group of survivors living in a guarded remote island. If not the return of an iconic series, let the stellar cast of Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Jodie Comer, Ralph Fiennes, Erin Kellyman, and Edvin Ryding entice you to the theatres.

9. F1 (dir. Joseph Kosinski)

For the past year, Formula 1 viewers have seen Brad Pitt and Damson Idris occasionally join the grid as racing drivers and feuding teammates for F1. The film, produced by Scuderia Ferrari’s very own Lewis Hamilton, makes its long-awaited premiere this winter. Top Gun: Maverick’s director Joseph Kosinski promises an action-packed display of the sport—loaded with exciting driver cameos, of course. Only time will tell if it’ll live up to its hype or merely be a copy of Netflix’s reality sports series Drive to Survive.

10. One Battle After Another (dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)

Paul Thomas Anderson is one of cinema’s most valuable voices, and his next feature promises another

stellar contribution to his filmography. One Battle After Another is described as a three-hour chase film, wherein Leonardo DiCaprio and Teyana Taylor play civil rights activists pursued by white nationalist forces. Anderson’s latest seems like it’s going to be quite the spectacle.

11. Caught Stealing (dir. Darren Aronofsky)

Another member of young Hollywood looking to continue their winning streak this year, Austin Butler stars in this New York-set crime thriller from the director of Black Swan. Butler plays a former basketball star with ties to the criminal underworld, whose shifty side hustles thrust him into a brutal fight for survival. Aronofsky’s macabre directing style promises that Caught Stealing will be an unforgettable cinematic experience, and Butler’s performance might just land him several coveted nominations this time next year.

12. The Bride! (dir Maggie Gyllenhaal)

The Bride! feels like quite a sudden departure from Maggie Gyllenhaal’s debut feature, The Lost Daughter, but everything we know about the film so far seems like it’s set to be a major success. With Jessie Buckley starring as the titular bride, Christian Bale as the monster in this Frankenstein tale, and Annette Benning as the doctor that brings them together, Gyllenhaal promises a thoroughly inventive take on the classic horror story.

13. After the Hunt (dir. Luca Guadadigno) It’s not a proper theatrical calendar without a new Luca Guadadigno entry. Following Challengers and Queer, the experimental auteur continues his hot streak with psychological drama After the Hunt, where Julia Roberts plays a Yale professor at a crossroads after a top student (Ayo Edebiri) accuses her colleague (Andrew Garfield) of sexual assault. Could this be the film that gives Guadagnino his long-overdue directorial nods?

14. Burgonia (dir. Yorgos Lanthimos) Burgonia marks Emma Stone’s third collaboration with auteur director Yorgos Lanthimos, and this latest instalment in their creative partnership might also be their most

bizarre. The film follows Stone as a high-powered CEO, as she is kidnapped by a rogue conspiracy theorist played by Jesse Plemmons. Burgonia is also the reason for Stone’s new pixie cut, the actress shaving her head for the role a là Anne Hathaway in Les Mis.

15. Now You See Me 3 (dir. Ruben Fleischer) The iconic troupe of magicians, The Four Horsemen, make their comeback in Now You See Me 3. While the original cast is set to reprise their roles (including the iconic Isla Fisher who abstained from Now You See Me 2), newcomers Ariana Greenblatt, Justice Smith, Dominic Sessa, and Rosamund Pike strive to make an impression.

16. Marty Supreme (dir. Josh Safdie)

Timothée Chalamet is in pursuit of greatness, and what better way to accelerate that journey than by depicting enigmatic table tennis hustler, Marty “The Needle” Reisman. Joining in the craze of biopics, Josh Safdie reunites with long-time collaborator Ronald Bronstein in Marty Supreme, which also marks his first solo directorial venture in 17 years without his brother Benny. With Uncut Gems and Good Time tucked under their belts, we’re expecting a dynamic sports production in this one.

17. Wake up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (dir. Rian Johnson)

2025 is truly the year of returning franchises, as detective Benoit Blanc is set to take on his most dangerous case yet in Rian Johnson’s Wake Up Dead Man. While the plot of Knives Out’s third instalment is still under wraps, the highly coveted ensemble cast is one to look forward to: including Josh O’Connor, Cailee Spaeny, Andrew Scott, Josh Brolin, Mila Kunis, and Jeremy Renner.

18. Frankenstein (dir. Guillermo del Toro)

Gothic auteur Guillermo del Toro has long considered Mary Shelley’s ‘Frankenstein’ his life inspiration, with themes of the novel evident in his own oeuvre. And so, Frankenstein is not only del Toro’s adaptation of the grotesque sci-fi tale, it’s also a passion project that’s been in the works for decades. Oscar Isaac (Dr. Viktor Frankenstein), Mia Goth (Elizabeth), and Jacob Elordi (The Monster) take on the iconic troika for a bold reimagination of the novel.

19. The Drama (dir. Kristoffer Borgli)

Kristoffer Borgli pivots from his trademark satiric comedy features and taps Zendaya and Robert Pattinson for a romantic spin in The Drama. The two are set to play a couple whose relationship goes out of turn just before their wedding day. With a scarce rom-com landscape in the current times, Borgli could very well restore the industry’s passion for the genre.

20. Eddington (dir. Ari Aster)

Aster’s last film, Beau is Afraid, was his most divisive work, which leaves a few question marks around the Hereditary and Midsommar director’s latest feature. Also starring Austin Butler, acting alongside Joaquin Phoenix, Emma Stone, and Pedro Pascal, Eddington looks to be an inventive new take on the western.

21. Materialists (dir. Celine Song)

Past Lives, with its indie spirit and quiet melancholy, enraptured audiences when it premiered in 2023, and Materialists is writer/director Celine Song’s much anticipated follow-up. This second feature from Song has certainly leveled up budget-wise, revolving around a love triangle between characters played by Dakota Johnson, Chris Evans and Pedro Pascal.

22. Hamnet (dir. Chloe Zhao)

Chloe Zhao’s Oscar-winning Nomadland remains a seminal fear of contemporary cinema, and Hamnet marks what should be a return to form for the visionary director. Starring Paul Mescal as Shakespeare and Jessie Buckey as Anne Hathaway, the film is an adaptation of the novel of the same name in which the historic couple mourn the untimely passing of their son.

23. The Entertainment System is Down (dir. Ruben Ostlund) Ostlund’s satirical European sensibilities landed him at the top of the pecking order with his last film, Triangle of Sadness, and his next project seems like it will only compound upon that success. The Entertainment System is Down features an ensemble cast led by Kirsten Dunst and Keanu Reeves, following what unfolds when boredom sets in after the entertainment system crashes out on a long-haul flight and boredom sets in..

24. Deliver Me From Nowhere (dir. Scott Cooper)

A Complete Unknown, last year’s Timothee Chalamet-starring Bob Dylan biopic, seemed to revitalise the played-out genre, a renaissance that Scott Cooper hopes to take advantage of with his new Bruce Springsteen film. It stars The Bear’s Jeremy Allen White as the Americana singer, in a role that is sure to not only test his musical skill, but also Cooper’s capacity to direct a film of this scale.

25. Die, My Love (dir. Lynne Ramsay)

In this new film from thoroughly visceral filmmaker Lynne Ramsay, Jennifer Lawrence plays a mother living in the French countryside who suffers from postpartum depression and enters a state of psychosis. This synopsis doesn’t sound entirely dissimilar from Lawrence’s polarizing 2017 work, mother!, but Ramsay’s unique directorial touch seems to bode promisingly for Die, My Love.

Angela Nacor

Laiken Jackson

Ethel Cain Perverts 8 Jan

Ethel Cain’s hard turn to ambience should come as no surprise—her debut Carpet Bed EP demonstrated an affinity for reverb, though balanced by acoustic elements and traditional songwriting structures. Perverts fully realises the crushing atmosphere of Cain’s existential lyricism with tectonic movements and piano chords saturated in pure dread.

Mac Miller Balloonerism 17 Jan

Mac Miller’s second posthumous album is a step back from Circles chronologically but not in quality—he explores themes of uncertainty and dissatisfaction through his early work’s jazzy, psychedelic style. The world will forever be enamoured by the remarkable vision of a here 21–22-year-old Mac Miller and thankful for the care his estate takes to protect it.

FKA Twigs EUSEXUA 24 Jan

While cerebral at points, it is never ‘a thinker’—accessible, immediate and kinetic. Its understated beats are reminiscent of early Aphex Twin, and its genre-spanning experimentation is on par with Björk’s. The project’s abrasive Y2K visuals contrast its smooth, R&B-infused techno. Twigs’ characteristically wispy vocals are driven by pulsing rhythms in a bold new direction for the artist.

Inhaler Open Wide 7 Feb

The Irish rock band—whose vocalist is the son of U2’s Bono—returns with more anthemic pop-rock goodness. On Open Wide, they’ve substituted their punk sound for indie pop, lowering the guitars for dancier rhythms. Don’t fret, the stylistic shift hasn’t worsened their sound; standout single ‘A Question of You’ is a brilliant new wave jam.

Oklou choke enough 7 Feb

This will be the pop album of 2025 that people will be celebrating for months. Oklou’s choke enough shimmers gently with Y2K and electronic influences but also entirely strips them back. These dance songs are incredibly sparse and weightless, yet still feel larger than life. Above all else, Oklou evokes the playfulness of the earlier, happier internet.

Squid Cowards 7 Feb

On Cowards, Squid reckon with apathy and complacency. Few of the explosive post-punk barrages that defined their previous releases remain. Instead, they perform confidently with slow burners: sparse arrangements with regal strings breaking into sweeping crescendos. With gripping themes and musicianship, it’s no wonder Cowards is the album Squid wish they had first unveiled.

venturing Ghostholding 14 Feb

Jane Remover might’ve ditched the fictional band concept attached to this side project, but the songs haven’t suffered. There’s no shortage of ethereal, slick and occasionally noisy indie rock and shoegaze. An earnest throwback to ‘90s indie rock, Ghostholding is the perfect listen on a late-night stroll in suburbia.

Baths Gut 21 Feb

After seven years, Baths returns with a new proper album of his gorgeous, fantasy-like glitch pop. Gut is aptly titled—it’s his honest effort to write from the stomach. Addressing topics such as his sexuality, harmful fantasies and dissonant self-identities, this belligerent pop record is immediate and urgent.

Ichiko Aoba Luminescent Creatures 28 Feb

Ichiko Aoba’s soft, introspective ballads touch the heart. The singles in the lead-up to Luminescent Creatures ‘Sonar’, ‘Flag’, and ‘Lucifèrine’—all hint at another expansive, new age record exuding pure calmness and tranquillity upon ears.

Panda Bear Sinister Grift 28 Feb

After some experimental collaborative projects, the Animal Collective founder returns with his new solo album. Sinister Grift promises more psychedelic, jangly chords accompanied by Panda Bear’s signature fluttery falsetto. The standout is ‘Defense’, with Cindy Lee providing irresistible electric guitar noodling.

Lady Gaga Mayhem 7 March

So far, Mayhem looks to be a singularly Gaga release—a long-awaited return to form. It is well-timed, where the recession pop of Born This Way was an unmistakable influence on the club culture-obsessed Brat Summer. The reception of singles ‘Abracadabra’ and ‘Disease’ suggests her hyper-danceable dark-pop not only competes but flourishes in the poptimist landscape of 2025.

clipping. Dead Channel Sky 14 March

clipping.’s choice to release a cyberpunk-themed hip-hop album was a bold one, but it’s paying off. With a highly anticipated feature by Aesop Rock and homages to the likes of Cybotron and Egyptian Lover, this album’s Afrofuturist vision looks to match the ambition of their broader discography.

Weatherday Hornet Disaster 19 March

Weatherday’s noisy emo pop has made waves within internet circles for its fervent, distorted chords and impassioned energy. It’s been five years since their debut album, Come In. Hornet Disaster is their long-awaited follow-up with double the number of tracks—there are bound to be heaps of guitar earworms.

Japanese Breakfast For Melancholy Brunettes (& Sad Women) 21 March

This new entry into the Japanese Breakfast discography continues their emotive and poetic songwriting. It seems to wear its poignancy on its sleeve, down to the title pointing to its audience, the solemn acoustics and swirling strings heard in ‘Orlando in Love’.

grentperez Backflips in a Restaurant 28 March

A rising star in Australian music, grentperez has cultivated a breathtaking discography for a 23-year-old. His second album, Backflips in a Restaurant, sports three singles characterised by punchy kick drums, modulated guitar and serene synths. The track ‘2DK’ particularly showcases his excellent storytelling in a newer, hip-hop direction.

Perfume Genius Glory 28 March

The vulnerable art pop musician pivots directions once more with Glory. The lead album teaser, ‘It’s a Mirror’, has a strong alt-country sound, not too dissimilar from the newly trendy folk scene of artists like MJ Lenderman and Adrianne Lenker. Perfume Genius remains impressively everchanging.

Bon Iver SABLE, fABLE 11 April

Justin Vernon may have started Bon Iver as a solo endeavour, but with each album, it becomes clearer that the project thrives as a five-piece. In particular, the song ‘THINGS BEHIND THINGS BEHIND THINGS’ beautifully paints a fractal landscape of layered trauma. Each single is a wave of acoustic melancholy in an album shaping up to be Bon Iver’s most personal yet.

Viagra Boys viagr aboys 25 April

Building on their unique brand of impotent electro-punk, viagr aboys is the new album from the limb-swinging and mic-peaking Swedish band Viagra Boys. Its single ‘Man Made of Meat’ promises that this release will be as lyrically rambling as their previous work, though instrumentally tighter and more stripped back.

SPELLLING Portrait of My Heart 28 March

SPELLLING’s spectacular, golden voice takes on a different shape with the new acoustic backdrop on Portrait of My Heart. The title track takes her rich baroque pop style and drenches it in art rocky guitars, the outcome an incredibly triumphant return to form.

Ball Park Music Like Love 4 April

Ball Park Music, though making extensive use of synth and guitar effects, produce a sunny kind of pop that feels fundamentally acoustic. Their new singles ‘Like Love’ and ‘Please Don’t Move to Melbourne’ drip with nostalgia and reflection, with a folksy charm reminiscent of Boy and Bear and The Paper Kites.

Black Country, New Road Forever Howlong 4 April

Forever Howlong is Black Country, New Road’s first studio album since the departure of their lead vocalist Isaac Wood. Their dread-inducing post-punk with him is also long gone, this new record capturing the band regaining their footing. Lead single ‘Besties’ sees the ensemble clinging onto sunny, orchestral arrangements and handing vocal duties to their female members.

Spacey Jane If That Makes Sense 9 May

Only one single has been released for If That Makes Sense: ‘All the Noise’ is a loser anthem built around an angular earworm riff courtesy of Ashton Hardman-Le Cornu. It’s a promising direction for the band—Caleb Harper delivers a lament, in contrast to his usual pop delivery—and it works. This edgier release could be a watershed moment for Spacey Jane.

Lana Del Rey The Right Person Will Stay 21 May

Lana hasn’t blessed us yet with any singles for The Right Person Will Stay, but the release date is currently set for 21 May. Hot off of her critically acclaimed 2023 album, Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd, these 13 new tracks have confirmed contributions from Luke Laird, Jack Antonoff, Zach Dawes and Drew Erickson.

Albums

Panchiko Ginkgo 4 April

It’s amazing how Panchiko’s unearthed demo disc D>E>A>T>H>M>E>T>A>L got them to make music again. Those 2000s–era recordings carry the authenticity of bygone sentimental slacker rock, like Radiohead’s Britpop era. Ginkgo is that but in high definition—the title track ‘Ginkgo’ is the most Radiohead-sounding song not by the acclaimed art-rockers.

Thornhill Bodies 4 April

Thornhill’s latest offering sounds cinematic. Spacey, reverberated guitars colour the soaring vocals in despair, rage and triumph. Thick, razor-sharp bass perfectly accompanies Jacob Charlton’s screams, each single from the album marrying heartful passion with desperate aggression.

252025 for

Dom Lepore and & Felix O’Kane

Nathan Pham

TikTok Star and formerly-accused-MAGA-supporter Addison Rae has completely rebranded herself away from the alt-right and into alt-pop. It all began with her iconic feature on Charli XCX’s Von Dutch remix, and now her newest single High Fashion has cemented Rae’s place in the pop industry.

With her underwhelming first attempt at becoming a pop icon with the EP AR, which included the infamous 2 die 4, it seemed her rise to stardom would flop as fast as the other TikTok stars that attempted to break into the music industry. Rae, against all odds, beat this curse with her release of Diet Pepsi in 2024. When it initially came out, I had absolutely no interest in giving it a chance, but as the buzz around her grew louder alongside the subsequent release of Aquamarine, I succumbed to my FOMO and gave the two songs a

opinion, was peak pop music—but revamped for a post-Covid-19 economic downturn. Her masterful combination of iconic 2010 artists clearly shows that she understands the essence of pop music. Because of this, her music feels so familiar yet entirely her own.

Sonically, High Fashion begins comparatively subdued, a bit slower than her previous singles, but she maintains her breathy, soft and intimate vocals. This at first threw me o , but as it kept going, I was assured that its shake-ass-ability was not lesser than her other singles. The chorus is incredibly catchy. Like nameless pop songs I listened to in my adolescence, High Fashion pleasantly creeps up in the back of my mind constantly, begging to be sung o -key.

Just like her lyrics, Rae’s music video is creative, pleasing to the senses

ism. However, the scene in the large room covered in “powdered sugar”— which to me looked more like fake snow—was not very visually pleasing. While Rae’s use of cool colour grading on top of warm coloured elements in the music video is worthy of praise —i.e. her red lipstick, her red shoes, the fire in the field and her pink walk-in closet—the scene did not maintain its balance. Rather, it felt washed out and flat. Additionally, the coke imagery was a bit too on the nose. The song is called High Fashion and one of the repeated lines is “I don’t need your drugs” so I don’t really see the point in hammering it home with its over-the-top presence.

Although I don’t think High Fashion surpasses the iconicness of Aquamarine and its music video, it’s definitely another successful Addison Rae single that has made it into my pop playlist.

OvercomingMAGA,TikTokandtheTide o fPublic Opinion: InsidetheG enerati

Laneway 2025: Is it brat to be a brat?

Writing and photography by Sabine

Pentecost

Laneway 2025 was a mixed bag. Once in a lifetime performances were witnessed, countless people were shoved around by drunk losers, snacks were smuggled in under my polka dot mini shorts.

Now, one might be thinking that the torrential downpour during Barry Can’t Swim’s set would top my list of the event’s lowlights. However, I can safely say that I waste no time in donning my nostalgia lenses to erase all the shivering and panic that may have transpired. The rain was fine, it’s now a great story to tell and undoubtedly embellish in the future. In my view, the crowd behaviour and the event organisation were the real crimes.

In terms of the crowd control and organisation, the constant bottlenecks created by unrelenting bag checks— even once inside the venue—and poor exit management felt frustratingly avoidable. Entrances and exits sporad-

ically opened and closed in an unpredictable manner, which separated my friends and I from loved ones in the throngs attempting to leave the event. Some people were allowed out directly onto Epsom Rd, a quick and efficient exit, but this path was quickly shut, leading thousands of people to congregate in a pulsing bottleneck at the single remaining exit. This was awful planning and was incredibly confusing to navigate. There was little to no signage, and we ended up having to walk all the way back around Flemington Park to reach the mystery exit that others were permitted to use just minutes before us.

Going into this year’s festival, I wasn’t sure what to expect crowd-wise. I knew that many people were only there for one reason: Brat. Almost everything Brat-related I’ve seen in the past eight months has been relegated to social media. Of course, people I know have been listening to the album (or ‘bumping that’ to the clued in and cultured), but “Brat Summer” hadn’t yet graced our shores.

Yet, on Valentines Day 2025, grace Flemington it did. All the FOMO felt by Melbournians over the devastatingly USA-centric SWEAT Tour was channelled into this headlining set at Laneway. Shocking fluorescent green was in greater abundance that I’d previously known possible, and people were fighting to stay close to the stage. The entire day was filled with breathtaking and high-energy performances, from local legends The Vovos kicking off the day after gates opened, to a beautiful sunset-accompanied set by Beabadoobee and her band. I enjoyed every performance I watched, even while biting my tongue at poor crowd etiquette. All the while I was being jostled by pashmina-cloaked anonymites I was thinking to myself: “What ever happened to grace and decorum at concerts?”

Many large groups were inebriated to a point of rudeness, invading people’s personal space repeatedly, and talking loudly over the sets of other artists. Their behaviour felt symptomatic of a larger issue with post-pandemic

concert etiquette (or a lack thereof). In the last few years, there seems to have been an uptick in antisocial crowd behaviour and general hostility at live music events, something which has been wrongfully attributed to young people—the easy scapegoats—by older generations. Let me tell you, these people twerking for photos against me and yelling over Djo’s slow songs were not particularly young.

I partially blame the ungodly inflation of concert ticket prices, as well as the fight-to-the-death mission that now accompanies online ticket sales. People have spent hundreds of dollars (in this economy!) to be in this mosh, and they no doubt had to fight tooth and nail to get to the front of the queue in a cut-throat pre-sale lobby. Thus, they feel that they have truly paid their way into behaving however they so choose, which is apparently with regard to only themselves and their iPhone camera. The other prong of this issue is that everyone is always on that damn phone. I know. Go ahead and throw tomatoes at me but tell me I’m wrong! The individualistic mindset that is bred by

spending hours a day tethered to social media cannot be understated or overlooked in this context. I had people hitting me in the face to try and get photos, or simply blocking the artist from view with a recording camera. People were looking at me with disdain for singing along while they were trying to record shaky iPhone footage. I watched a large portion of Beabadoobee’s set through another girl’s phone screen, which I could do at home! All I’m saying is that a sense of community and of collective belonging could go a long way toward improving the modern concert experience. We are all just here to have fun in the moment and watch some great performances.

When it came to the music, most poor patron behaviour dissipated in the wake of incredible performances by headliners and smaller artists alike. A good live set—particularly washed by post-storm delirium— can cure most grievances. Each artist had their own stage setup and unique style which transformed

the energy between sets, resulting in ebbs and flows of fast-paced pop and surf rock from the likes of Skeggs and Remi Wolf to slow and mesmerising shoegaze sets by Eyedress and Djo. The balance was struck quite well to ensure that the audience that stuck around for multiple hours on one stage were never bored, yet also not fatigued by back-toback moshing.

There is also no mistaking that Melbourne’s ego was stroked unabashedly by the headlining artists, culminating in Charli’s screams to the crowd that Melbourne was “the coolest city in Australia”. Clairo brought out Charli XCX to sing ‘Sofia’, a song she hadn’t played live in three years, which felt like a bonding moment between the crowd and the artists. Without a moment to process what had just happened, Beabadoobee beckoned Clairo onto stage during her set to sing ‘Glue Song’ for Melbourne’s Valentine’s Day treat. The performances we were graced with that evening felt incredibly special and intimate, despite the inexplicable event setup and repeat instances of poor behaviour in the crowd.

the cost of living crisis brings the worst out of us all. Over the past four years, it has not always been economically advantageous for me and my partner to get our own place, so we’ve found ourselves with little option left but to get creative on campus. If you too are struggling to make ends meet and find appropriate places to bone where you don’t risk meeting someone’s parents or housemates, feel free to take advantage of our extensive experience and avoid getting caught in the meantime.

arts and cultural building these are a lot less stinky than the bathrooms in the older buildings. im not sure about anyone else, but the disgusting floor to ceiling magenta colour scheme reminds me of my heyday in my mum’s womb, so it’s comforting in that sense if you’d like to feel closer to your mother while doing the deed. if you’re in that category perhaps consider visiting freud and lacan reading group at the clyde, which will be touched upon later. high foot-traffic area so best to leave this one for 6 pm or later, after all classes finish for the day.

redmond barry

we have colonised every single toilet of every single level on redmond barry. walking up all those stairs to the upper levels is definitely one way to leave her legs shaking. decent chance someone will come into a stall next to you and drop a bass-boosted deuce. nice view of campus below adds to the fun. was better before the doors were alarm trigger

best places to bone on campus

happy, so now it’s harder to sneak in. you need to tailgate someone and time your session so that it’s during class.

building 168

if you’ve been traumatised by students’ council before, this is a powerful way of saying ‘fuck you’ to the system. We would highly recommend being strategic and scouting for a bathroom that has sinks on the inside rather than in the corridors in case things get messy. conveniently right by stop 1 for a quick getaway.

amongst the bushes in the alley behind the clyde

best during the evening as not to scar nearby residents or sexless geology students in the mccoy building next door. alternatively and more importantly you may get charged with public indecency, but that’s neither here nor there.lfreud reading groups can make the best of us feel a bit hot and heavy, especially after using your weekly grocery money to buy a round of pints and a few cheeky darts. also, getting your knees dirty in the bushes with civilisation just next door is like the public sex equivalent to glamping but way less millennial coded.

basement floor bathrooms of union house (rip)

easy to remain anonymous in the disabled bathrooms but this area was frequented by cleaners at all hours of the day. they knew exactly what you were doing no matter how well you acted out having a burst ovarian cyst. no sense of decorum. nowadays, managing to get

into the building would be an incredible feat as all secret entrances have now been sealed off by management. what better way to impress your bone buddy than by crawling through an air vent?

in the bushes around the front of the baldwin spencer building settled for this location when they upped the security in the redmond barry building. it’s a good feeling, looking up in the middle of a bone bonanza to see lame grad students still hard at work at 11 pm. the gothic architecture is reminiscent of recent robert eggers film nosferatu. your next hinge hookup can be the count orlok to your ellen (or vice versa).

carlton gardens bathrooms it’s been years since my last visit to these toilets as you need to be astronomically down bad to endure them. their very particular smell has been seared into my nostrils. if they had a fragrantica profile, the notes would be a mix of the ones of toskovat’s inexcusable evil and etat libre d’orange’s secretions magnifiques: murder, blood, iodine and semen. unfortunately there also isn’t a convenient place to place your bag and the floors are constantly wet, so visit empty handed. this is a more anonymous choice during the night as you’re less likely to run into mutuals. plus, there are bound to be crazier things happening nearby...

Farrago disclaimer: some of the activities described herein constitute public indecency, which is illegal.

The University of Melbourne Unveils Bold New Strategy to Support International Students

Aaron Agostini

In an innovative response to growing concerns over proposed federal caps to international student enrolments, a leading Australian university has announced a groundbreaking initiative: physically assaulting every third Chinese student.

The program, Resilience Through Impact, has been touted by the University Executive as proactive; designed to “help students navigate the harsh realities of Australian bureaucracy through direct, hands-on experience”.

“We understand that the rising costs of tuition, visa complications and limited work rights make life diffi cult for our international cohort,” said the Vice Chancellor, crack ing her knuckles. “We could fight for better policies, or we could just fight.”

The program, set to launch this semester, involves a Universi ty-appointed task force stationed throughout campus, whose job is to hit every third Chinese student really hard. Like, shockingly hard.

Official documenta tion states that this initiative aligns with the University’s commitment to “[ensuring] our international student pop ulation enriches our Uni versity community and our classrooms, providing all students with access to a diversity of perspectives and creating a dynamic and challenging educational environment.”

helpful I guess.” Other students have taken a more optimistic approach.

“It’s honestly refreshing to see the University be so upfront about screwing us over,” remarked Vivian Zhang, a thirdyear Bachelor of Commerce student. “Normally, they just let visa restrictions and rental crises do the work for them. This change makes me feel hopeful for the future.”

with the “utmost professionalism and care.”

When asked how they would determine whether a given Chinese student was international or not, University representatives responded with a confident, “Vibes.”

Pressed further on whether they believed this approach might result in unintended consequences—such as harming domestic students of Chinese descent or even boldening broader discrimination against other minority groups—the response was equally assured: “One can only hope.”

Administrators went on to explain that adversity builds resilience, and if a program designed to target one vulnerable group just so happens to spill over into others, that would only reinforce the University’s broader commitment to equal opportunity.

“We are committed to inclusion,” said one representative. “Whether you’re paying $50,000 a year for a degree or just trying to survive your first semester, we want all our students to feel equally unsafe.”

Initial student response has been mixed. “I was hoping for more scholarships,” said Yao Liu who is in her first year of a Master of Engineering degree. “But getting attacked by an assistant dean is also

including the University of Melbourne Student Union, advocacy groups and human rights organizations — have voiced concerns over the program, calling it “unethical”, “dangerously stupid” and “an oddly specific form of administrative malpractice.”

In response, the University’s Media and Public Affairs team have assured the public that all attacks will be carried out

Despite backlash, the administration remains steadfast in its belief that this initiative will “set a new standard for student engagement.”

When asked whether they planned to extend the program to explicitly targetstruggling domestic students, the Vice Chancellor scoffed. “Now that doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

Horoscopes

Aquarius 20 Jan - 18 Feb

You’re probably studying part-time so that you can focus on organising, advocating and supporting your community. However, your focus on the bigger picture can accidentally lead to self-neglect and burnout, so ensure you carve out time to tend to yourself too.

DO: take advantage of the unexplained absences you’ve been saving

DON’T: forget to ask for a cheeky extension

Taurus

20 April - 20 May

Whether it is Geology, Agriculture or Production, you’re studying as practical an undergrad as there is at Melbourne. Yet, like the yoked ox, you remain in the furrow you plow. Be more adventurous with your breadth choices and try to enjoy other academic disciplines for what they are.

DO: visit the Systems Garden

DON’T: apply to be a 3rd year Maths tutor

Pisces 19 Feb - 20 March

You’re never one to let anybody labour alone. Whether you’re participating in a niche study or helping set up a marquee, you’re always available to share the workload. While your generosity is admirable, you must stay vigilant against those who would prey upon your kindness.

DO: hang with dogs at the Rowden-White Library

DON’T: agree to attend random AGMs

Gemini 21 May - 21 June

While people may conceptualise the Gemini’s duality as a grand psychological battle between good and evil, your antithetical aspects are far more mundane. You struggle between excelling academically and managing your many extracurriculars and clubs. Finding balance will be key. Consider trying out part-time study or taking a deferral.

DO: attend pub nights

DON’T: only attend lectures online

Aries 21 March - 19 April

You achieve your goals through impressive brute force. Yet, the underside of your domineering ambition is distrust. Believe in the competency of others! It’s not worth alienating classmates (and potential friends) just to submit a group project early.

DO: attend the academic skills workshops

DON’T: urgently emails tutors on the weekend

Cancer 22 June - 22 July

An obsessive user of My Course Planner, you’ve had your entire degree mapped out since first year. Unfortunately, you’re also prone to rumination and decision paralysis; the solution to which is making peace with the unknown.

DO: join Melbourne University Sport

DON’T: attend the Careers Ready seminars before you’ve even decided on your major

Sophie He & Marcie

Illustrations by

Horoscopes

Marcie Di Bartolomeo

Maria Quartel

Leo 23 July - 22 August

You graduated high school believing that at Uni you’d coast smoothly and invincibly through internships, Honours, Masters and finally, a PhD. Instead, here you are stacking up a series of disheartening grades. Don’t despair! Bravely read your feedback and soon you’ll find yourself on top!

DO: rediscover your self-worth in volunteering

DON’T: transfer to Monash Law

Virgo 23 August - 22 September

You bring a Muji pen and a notebook to your lectures because you read that handwriting notes reinforces your neural networks and aids in recall. Yet, as the end of semester approaches, you’ll discover that many of your habits are unsustainable. Embrace necessary changes and view them as opportunities to streamline, re-centre and grow.

DO: a UHT workshop

DON’T: pull all nighters

Libra 23 September - 23 October

Beautiful Libra, you are perfect. The only problems in your life are the other brutish signs who, through their interminable squabbling and myopic interests, chain humanity to an unenlightened and regressive state of nature. If only everyone were as fair and diplomatic as you.

DO: whatever you’re already doing

DON’T: change anything about yourself ever

Scorpio 24 October - 21 November

Everyone calls you paranoid but you’ve got a sense that something is not quite right. The other students in your degree… you can’t seem to get through to them… Trust your instincts. Change courses now! Get out before they get you!

DO: take a Creative Writing breadth

DON’T: smoke on campus

Sagittarius 22 November - 21 December

A visible presence on campus, you’re a wellspring of knowledge and you’re not miserly with it. You display your wellearned wisdom with pride. However, beware! Your enthusiasm to share your sage advice may be interpreted as condescension or superciliousness.

DO: visit another UniMelb campus

DON’T: take a midnight walk through the South Lawn Underground Car Park Capricorn 22 December - 19 January

Your academic, social and personal approaches are always practical, forthright and regimented. So, the relatively chaotic and hectic lives of your peers often invoke bafflement or anxiety within you. Continue living at your own pace but don’t be afraid to test the elasticity of your comfort zone.

DO: Take Stand Up and Be Funny in second semester

DON’T: buy all your lunches strictly from on-campus retailers.

Archival Revival: A Century Of Student Media

3 April 1925

Farrago released its first of many editions at the University of Melbourne. The free four-page tabloid was distributed weekly by a twenty-person team in the Student Representative Council (SRC); helmed initially by Editor in Chief, S.H. Heymanson, and Chief of Staff, Brian Fitzpatrick. One of the earliest student publications in Australia, it ran parallel to the existing Melbourne University Magazine (M.U.M.).

While M.U.M. shifted focus to student letters and undergraduate life, Farrago’s tabloid and bulletins format was an open forum wherein students could discuss issues relevant to campus and social life. To help ‘Varsity men’ uphold their social obligations, a bevy of club notices, freshmen tips and sporting news would keep them up to date. Yes, back then Farrago had not one, but, if you can believe it, TWO sports editors! Shocking news, I know.

World War II commenced and Australia confirmed their involvement not long after. During this period, Farrago articles were heavily focused on conscription and potential invasion from the north, with editorials promoting support and charity efforts for the war. A few accused political agendas such as Communism, whose publications had been restricted by the government, of impeding war efforts.

1939 June 1948

Farrago’s charity efforts continued beyond the war, leading to the inaugural Miss University pageant for World Student Relief (WSR). While the extent of the paper’s initial involvement is unclear—besides from promotion in the paper and vague expenditure towards the event—Farrago would become a major partner in WSR’s annual campaigns until 1970. This financial partnership might be why Farrago saw its pages increase to eight by the end of the decade.

12 May 1958

Over 500 students in the SRC agreed to campaign in protest against the White Australia Policy, in particular its exclusion of Asian immigration. Part of this would include the distribution of 10,000 copies of the latest Farrago across Melbourne the following week, featuring extensive discussion and student polls on the issue. While relaxed restrictions would be put in place soon after, the policy wouldn’t be abolished until 1973.

June 1964

The University’s rising debts cut most of the funding toward various student groups and amenities, including the SRC. The team started charging six pence per issue (5c after the Imperial System was abolished), and maintained a 12-page print throughout the decade.

27 September 1971

The University would see the earliest instance of student-run radio on campus—though not in the way you may think. Vietnam war draft resisters took up residence in Union House for three days, leading to the pirate radio broadcast Radio Resistance 3DR which protested against war conscription.

1979

Amidst rising debts, poorly executed distribution and growing disinterest, M.U.M. published its last edition. Its $2000 budget was redistributed among the SRC, leaving Farrago the sole student publication made and distributed by the Council.

1986

The Melbourne University Student Union’s (MUSU) Women’s Department launched Judy’s Punch, an annual creatively focused publication made for and by women at the University. The magazine’s creative angle was particularly important, as Farrago would continue to be dominated with non-fiction work throughout the next two decades.

The MUSU Radio Collection collaborated with RMIT’s Student Radio Association (SRA), allowing dozens of UniMelb student broadcasts onto the schedule. These continued through the 2000s, before SRA merged with Thornbury’s 3TD Radio to form Student Youth Network (SYN) Media.

http://union.unimelb.edu.au/farrago/

1996 1997

Inspired by new computer design tools, this year saw Farrago surf onto the World Wide Web. Editions 6 and 7 from the previous year had articles compiled and published as text-only blog posts under the ‘coreTEXt’ label. Farrago’s internet presence would continue to develop throughout the next decade, producing exclusive web content and eventually full PDF editions for the website.

4 February 2004

MUSUi dissolved, after years of poor decisions and a very dodgy student property deal. While Farrago’s operations were liquidated into Melbourne University Student Union Limited (MUSUL), later University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), this process—combined with a surprise Liberal win in the general election—led to the 2004 Media Department’s infamous run of Farrago.

2005

Farrago faced budget concerns with new Voluntary Student Unionism legislation. Meanwhile, UMSU’s Media and Creative Arts Departments collaborated for the first time on Above Water, an annual creative writing competition and anthology. Created to incite more creative work in the Media Department, the initiative would inspire a creative submissions category in Farrago, and ran for 18 years before its discontinuation in 2024.

2012

‘The Fodder’ (the English translation of ‘farrago’) was introduced as a section of the magazine, combining reviews, interviews, cultural and lifestyle pieces to capture life on campus. Though it would be defunct only a few years later, its name would live on …

24 February 2015

After decades of beating around the bush, ‘The Fodder’ (later ‘Radio Fodder’) officially launched as a digital student radio station. It would start officially broadcasting in the following months.

2022

The decommissioning of Union House, due to asbestos and decay, forced both Farrago and Radio Fodder to migrate to their current location on Level 4 of Building 168, seated in the new Student Precinct space. This also follows after two years of COVID lockdowns, with more digitally focused productions and a reduced print to six editions a year.

2024

Sadly yes, Above Water may have died… but it lived! Its successor, Below Earth, launched this year as a new creative competition in collaboration with the Creative Literature and Writing Society (CLAWS). This also marked the last year in which Radio Fodder partnered with Airtime Pro for broadcasting, making local Radio Cult their new broadcast provider.

2025

This year observes some important milestones for the Media Department; acting as both Farrago Magazine’s 100th anniversary and Radio Fodder’s 10th! We hope you join us to celebrate both facets of UMSU Media throughout the year with special events, interviews from past team members and more retrospective columns!

Written and researched by by Tom Weir-Alarcon. Additional research provided by Jocelyn Saun. Jocelyn Saunders.

Puzzles

Bovine noise

Audibly shocked

Curve in a river

Totally clear, abbr.

The most basic of drinks

TikTok type of guy that has painted nails and chains

Writer of odes

"That's all she ___"

Practice over and over and over

Taylor Swift tour

Paris Agreement reduction goal

Bit of a pizza that might be stuffed

Brand of toy truck that shares a name with a bean

Place for an important newspaper story

Cure

Around a third of Earth's surface

Muddy farm animal

Concert souvenirs

___ and flow

Keep steady during a marathon

Bottom surgery, briefly

"___ means one, rail means rail" (Simpsons bit)

River Styx boatman

Uncommon voting choice for the senate

Make changes to a document

Technically illegal smoking devices

Ropeless ascents

Dry, like a desert

Informal variant of isn't

Shoes named for personification of victory

Horse like a bad dream?

Mangle badly

Rock everyone is on (except for about 10 people)

"Right away, boss!"

"Don't touch the red button, or ___"

Big hit

Place where they might put cucumbers on your eyes

Down

Floor cleaning tool

Woodwind instrument

Gets past an obstacle

Reaction to cuteness

Bond's M since 2012

Elemental unit

Research org. looking for aliens

North-East Melbourne suburb that shares a name with a Wallace and Gromit character

"Look ___ you!" (pantomime phrase)

Digital novel

Italian grandma

Colours a shirt

Goes without food

Took legal action

Final word at an auction

The home of 33-Across

Writing and painting, for example

Available in jug, pint, pot, and

It connects the two halves of your arm

"Terrif! That's gorge"

People from the French capital

Lady Gaga, for example

Bit of DNA

"Music for airports" Brian

Sicilian capital city

Public bathroom option

Historic demons from Buffy

Tea in Cantonese

Acronym in air filtration

Retro Volkswagen car

Living room items Mike Teavee would like

Helvetica look-alike

Restaurant catalogues

With it comes fortune

Gallagher of Oasis

Stir fried vegetable AKA ladies' finger

Onomatopoeic word for good fashion

"___, this is a library."

"What's your ___?" (NewJeans lyric)

Mini by Ava Vu

Trivia

by Sophie He

Level 1

The capital of Estonia is:

a Tallin

b Riga

c Belgrade

d Ljubljana

Which of the following is the galaxy nearest to the Milky Way?

a Andromeda Galaxy

b Eye of God Galaxy

c Knife Edge Galaxy

d Porpoise Galaxy

Which of these animals does not have a type of shoe named after them?

a Grey rhebok

b Armadillo

c Crocodile

d Spider

Level 2

Which of the following is not on Melbourne’s flag/coat of arms?

a A whale representing whaling industry

b A fleece representing the wool industry

c St George’s cross representing England

d A shovel representing the gold industry

Which famous scientist stuck a needle in their own eye to learn about the human perception of colour?

a Nicolaus Copernicus

b Alan Turing

c Isaac Newton

d Jane Goodall

Across Down

First place

"Impression, Sunrise" painter

Triumph, when combined with one of the circled letters in this puzzle

Hooters

Puts in stitches

Morning condensation

Pursue romantically

Neither win nor lose

Site that 17-Down can edit

Religious rituals

Wed in secret

"For shame!"

Level 2continued

Who was the first Indigenous Australian author to be awarded the Miles Franklin?

a Alexis Wright

b Tara June Winch

c Kim Scott

d Melissa Lucashenko

Level 3

Of the UniMelb students who appeared in Gary Newman’s 2004 documentary The State of the Union, who is now the National Secretary of the Australian Labor Party?

a Scott Crawford

b Paul Erikson

c Tim O’Halloran

d Rob Spotswood

“Grippe” is an archaic term referring to which medical condition?

a Typhoid

b Tuberculosis

c Influenza

d Scarlet Fever

What was Play-Doh initially manufactured to be?

a Wallpaper cleaner

b Adhesive putty

c Scone dough

d Mosquito repellent

Stir-fry pans

The loneliest number

Badminton dividers

Worms, viruses and such

Gritty TV show set in Baltimore

Pipsqueak

Cuddly creatures of Endor

Peculiar

Charli xcx song about close collaborator SOPHIE

Mickey's maker

Cried

The "y" in ily

Sudoku