On the Road to Eternity
by Ileana Collazo Volume 1
“The Past is always near.” “I learned all I needed to about creating art as a young girl in my grandmother's garden - where I sat doing what as an adult I call meditating. That quiet spot became my temple. Many years passed before I began to birth the creations conceived in my early daydreams. I started to write fiction and poetry, and then my mind exploded into a galaxy of colors, shapes, and movement as I started to paint on a variety of surfaces, digitally, and then added photography and digital visual art to my artistic spectrum. My art is representative of the twists and turns we take in the course of our daily lives, and of the awe-inspiring beauty that surrounds us. My work is my gift to the world, and to everyone who falls in love with it. I was born in Cuba, and have lived in Spain, New York, Vermont, and Massachusetts. I presently reside in Miami, Florida; where I work and play at Collazo Art Studio with my artist husband Miguel Collazo, four dogs, and cats in the yard. I take photographs - sometimes of all the obvious things that we all see, and others of things we tend to overlook - like items tossed roadside, a section of what I initially see in the frame... - and then, I digitally mix and match the images to create the finished work. When I paint, I allow colors, shapes, and movement to guide me to express the language that floats inside my brain.”
“I paint with words, and write with images.� At the dawn of time, visual arts was born, holding her breath until words joined her. Together, they move the senses with a reckless force only matched by nature. I sometimes meld the two to create one experience, and other times let them each forge their separate paths. Music, the elusive ghost, often accompanies me in my creative journeys.
Dedication: “To my daughter, Michele Collazo; whose courage, love for life, pure heart, and resolve are awe-inspiring.�
“I randomly chose 15 poems from many written for my first poetry volume because there are pivotal moments in our lives that affect us in radical ways and, at age fifteen, I met my husband. The roads I’ve traveled from that moment forward twist and turn, taking me many places I may not have otherwise gone. How else would I have lived my life? The possibilities are endless, but there is only one path that each of us can take on our journey to eternity.�
Artwork Information:
Front Cover: Alternate Landscapes 18 | Digital Art | 2017 | Ileana Collazo
Artist Statement: Bound by my Past | Manipulated Digital Self-portrait | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
Poetry Statement: At the Dawn of Time 1 | Digital Art | 2015 | Ileana Collazo
Virgin Heart: Lola Dressed in Silk 2 | Manipulated Digital Photograph | 2015 | Ileana Collazo
Ashen Tresses: The Past is Always Near | Manipulated Digital Photography | 2015 | Ileana Collazo
Early Spring: Early Spring |Manipulated Digital Photography | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
A Ghost of Her: A Ghost of Her | Digital Art | 2014 | Ileana Collazo
The Darkroom of my Mind: The Darkroom of my Mind | Digital Art | 2014 | Ileana Collazo
Bury My Ghost 6 Feet Deep: I am Here, Behind the Mask | Manipulated Digital Self-portrait and Roadside Rubbish | 2017 | Ileana Collazo
No Room Left in Me: Frozen in Time, Lost in Thought | Manipulated Digital Selfportrait | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
Midnight Bloom: Midnight Bloom | Manipulated digital photography | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
Where all the Years Melt into One: Staring at the Rain | Manipulated Digital Photograph | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
I am not God: Alternate Landscapes 7 | Manipulated Digital Photography | 2017 Ileana Collazo
Midnight in the Deep Ocean: Midnight in the Deep Ocean | Manipulated digital photography | 2017 | Ileana Collazo
Moonbridge on a Moonless Night: Moonbridge on a Moonless Night 1969 & 2001 | Manipulated Photography | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
Time: Human Imprints 1 | Manipulated digital self-portrait | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
Underground Temple: Underground Temple | Digital Art | 2017 | Ileana Collazo
What More is there to Know: Two Artists take a Selfie | Digital Self-portrait | 2016 | Ileana Collazo
1994
Virgin Heart by Ileana Collazo Claws that clutch the victim tight, eyes that watch her with delight, fire burning in the night, cannot scorch the victim’s might. Growing stronger with each blow, her power sprouts from deep insight. Wounds of flesh, mere mortal scars, cannot touch the virgin heart. Lexington, Massachusetts, October 9, 1994
1997
Ashen Tresses by Ileana Collazo A strand of silver hair over my brow; I brush it off, it falls back down; a single filament of yarn unraveling from an ebony spindle. A lock of silver hair over my brow, I brush it off, it falls back down; lace intertwined with sable down, weaving themselves into a studded crown. Lexington, Massachusetts, January 17, 1997
2011
Early Spring by Ileana Collazo Walking on dry leaves crackling like fire left unattended by the pond to smother itself cold. Hands inside pockets, snug and warm; sandaled feet soggy with dew. Road, empty and long, snakes to and fro, dies by a rock. Silence colliding with sun specks; no soul in sight, not even mine. Miami, Florida, March 14, 2011
2014
A Ghost of Her by Ileana Collazo Sea glass and brass sit on the shelf while she drinks her tea and the half-drawn curtains squeeze a slant of sunlight honey milk. Each gulp she sips makes her squint - lemony sting purple lip, black eye, bleeding heart. A ghost of her sits by her side arms crossed, eyes fixed; waiting to ask. She turns her back, and hums a sad song. Miami, Florida, May 14, 2014
The Darkroom of my Mind by Ileana Collazo I pace the darkroom of my mind as it rewinds and digs deep trenches. Buried inside them is the grime I cannot flush with bread and wine. And when I dine, I eat leftovers of dandelion greens and daisies that sprout beside the daffodils that bloom in spring to die in summer. Today the bones of all those lives I lived and lost are dug by beasts that chew on them while I sit still unable to glue back the pieces. Miami, Florida, June 12, 2014
2016
Bury My Ghost 6 Feet Deep by Ileana Collazo It is monochromatic inside me while my surroundings burst with the color spectrum. Cold are my feet, raw are my hands, while every blade of grass is ablaze. My gaze dazed, my gait crooked, my brain draining into a basin. Deliver me restrained and strained while my sobs tear open my chest. Bury my ghost 6 feet deep, as the world weeps for one hour before it forgets me. Miami, Florida, 2016
No Room Left in Me by Ileana Collazo There's no room left in me for regrets, reminiscing, or repetition; since that which seemed eternal is now terminal. My life, my thoughts, my time to the grand scheme inconsequential. These days I search for things that I don't need to keep in some rusted time capsule I won't be there to open. The past that used to beckon for me to go and visit I now turn a deaf ear to; mirages are not real. And fear, always so near, is losing all its potency to loss; which is so real. All questions left unanswered I'll toss inside my casket; the things I leave behind will not be stained by grief. Miami, Florida, March 25, 2016
Midnight Bloom by Ileana Collazo My heart, as ancient as the rocks that roll on silent nights onto the shore, making that clicking sound, beats to the sound of flapping wings that flutter hard against the wind; as hard as I try to be free from all the worries and the chains that keep me bound to destiny’s whims. My will, much stronger than anyone thinks, fights like a warrior in this war that never ends and no one wins; but I will not give in. For, I was promised paradise, and aim to build it for myself; with my own hands, in my own way, with crystal walls that never smear where I will never shed a tear, and there will never be a woe that I can’t pluck like I do weeds when they grow too close to my dreams. Miami, Florida, January 3, 2016
Where all the Years Melt into One by Ileana Collazo The piano cries waterless tears as silent raindrops soak the windows; the sky a sheet of polished pewter, the branches pacing shadows. My fingers dancing on the ivory, each note in tandem with a raindrop, as silence hovers in the next room waiting for sleep to come and claim me. But I have no plans to surrender to the allure of black velvet, as yet another moonless night envelops me in her embrace. I peer into the dark and call out to the memories that roam, but they lay curled under my dreams, and will not come until I crumble into the arms of restless sleep, where all the years melt into one, and everything that used to be returns to taunt and haunt me. Miami, Florida, August 13, 2016
2017
I am not God by Ileana Collazo From a line so thin and long, and a fading circle like the setting sun that hides from my eyes, I am asked to create a life; as if I were God. As the noise inside my head rumbles, and my resolve crumbles, and the waves crash on the shore, and my heart is torn with pain. I reign the thoughts that kick up like horses unwilling to leave the pasture to be constrained in their pens. I moan like the wind trapped in a canyon - unnoticed and unheard as the pain slashes my throat with a silk embroidered blade. I blink, and my tears turn into rainbows. I speak, and my words turn into mourning doves. I open my arms, and my soul goes up in flames. I blame no one, for I am the writer of the play unfolding, and I chose the stage on which it takes place; over and over again, while no one watches. Miami, Florida, December 23, 2017
Midnight in the Deep Ocean by Ileana Collazo When your dreams become nightmares do you surrender to sleep? Pacing the floor with led steps that light the lonely night. Two stars so bright they blind; too far to grab, too sharp to hold, hang on too tight to fall while your heart pounds inside your head and your lungs struggle to pull a breath because you fell into the sea and sank too deep to swim. Miami, Florida, December 21, 2017
Moonbridge on a Moonless Night by Ileana Collazo Moonbridge on a moonless night, when a million stars light a sky so black, and the water moves swiftly in the evening breeze. Sitting on the ledge, dangling my feet, tossing bits of food to fish I cannot see. Not a sound is heard, except that for my breath seeping in and out of my half-open mouth. If a hand should land on my bowed head, I would not turn to look, I would not say a word. But I know it will not, I told no one I left, there are secrets I keep while everyone sleeps. Miami, Florida, December 21, 2017
Time by Ileana Collazo Time washes off so many traces of the lives we’ve led taking with it people, places, the material, the immaterial. These days I sometimes feel as if I’m standing naked on some lonely road, I did not go to of my own volition. Some instinctual drive I do not recognize but know exists propels me forward into days ahead that roll by much like the blurry landscape outside the window of a moving train; gone from sight before one can take in the scene. When the reality of time splashes me with dread, I let the tears roll down my cheeks and stain the floor until they form a deep, dark puddle in which to drown my sorrows. Miami, Florida, | December 20, 2017
Underground Temple by Ileana Collazo When the burdens of life take their toll, and bells chime like sirens in your head; when the sun turns too bright for your eyes, and the moon chills your soul, hide inside the underground temple. Covered with moth, lit through cracks in the soft earth; silent and warm. Where whispers have butterfly wings, your breath kisses blades of grass, tears run down like falling raindrops, and time stops until you surface. Miami, Florida, December 22, 2017
What more is there to know? by Ileana Collazo These days I walk at a slower pace; shuffling my feet, sometimes, while my thoughts fly away. You asked me to tell you about all of this; so I have been pondering, and looking, and wondering. In the yard, a cat purrs, a bird chirps, a leaf falls; while I breathe and blink. In the house, I close my eyes and listen to the rain while you sleep. In a box in the attic, old photographs, and love letters - ignored, but not forgotten speak volumes without words. I grab your hand and look too deep into your eyes; two dark brown pools reflecting years of affection. What more is there to know? there is me, and there is you; there is a breeze, and there is rain, and there are time and precious memories. Miami, Florida, September 23, 2017
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