FNM Wedding Edition - Vol 10

A Wedding

Letter From the Editor

ear Reader,

Love is always the answer, this we know. Modern marriage is quite often based on this truth. The beauty of marriage is that it invokes an eternal commitment to building a loving future together; one in which both parties dedicate their efforts to mutual betterment and reciprocal care Though not all marriages last, the ritual is something many dream about for years prior to officially experiencing it for themselves.

Because cannabis weddings are rightfully growing more and more popular every season, Dustin Hoxworth (Founder, Creative Director, and Editor At Large for Fat Nugs Magazine) and I felt it was only appropriate to highlight such a positive cultural movement within the pages of FNM. One of our beloved writers, Jessica Reilly Chevalier, shared a photo of herself smoking a joint in her wedding dress on LinkedIn, and we knew instantly that her wedding story needed to be featured in this special edition You can scope it yourself on page eight, right after doing your best to keep your jaw from perpetually dropping when viewing the AI creations of Rebekah Jenks. She shares her story of love, art, and cannabis on page four.

Page 14 brings us an epic interview with Centeria “Koi” Hall, wedding budtender extraordinaire Our very own Lindsey Gunter got real deep with her on the topic of what it’s like to serve weed at weddings. Spoiler alert: it’s pretty damn cool. FNM fave Rian Kochel shares a different perspective with us that of a wedding DJ who worked many a reception back in 2002, prior to the cannabis legalization movement He tells us all about the Tragic Hour and imagines how things could have been different had cannabis been the mind altering substance of choice

at these events.

Our special edition concludes with a Ganjier review of none other than the Wedding Cake strain, as experienced by one of our longest writing Fat Nugs family members Rob Sanchez. We dare you not to get a Wedding Cake delivery, eat dessert, and send a love letter after consuming every page of this special edition of this magazine to which we are dearly devoted We especially hope that you dig the variety of AI wedding art we used throughout, courtesy of Rebekah Jenks and, yours truly, Dustin.

‘Til Death Do Us Part, Kaitlin Coghill Editor In Chief

/IMAGINE

rebekah jenks

BY KAITLIN COGHILL

When creating cannabis content, there are only so many stock photos one can scroll through before everything starts repeating itself or melding together into a leafy blur. One begins to crave something edgier, more colorful, more fantastical, and more imaginative.

Enter: AI art. The way AI merges realistic imag

ery with virtual dreamworlds is perfectly suited to the overall vibe of the plant in 2022 One of our favorite cannabis AI artists is Rebekah Jenks, a love oriented creative doing her part to change the way cannabis is viewed in our current reality. She graciously answered a few questions for Fat Nugs about her relationship to cannabis, as well as what inspires her to create.

Fat Nugs Magazine: Tell us about yourself; who are you, and what are you passionate about?

AI ARTWORK BY REBEKAH JENKS

Rebekah Jenks: I’m an eclectic dreamer and eccentric futurist, with a knack for speaking out of turn I believe that people should have the right to choose safe access to cannabis, and I’m willing to talk about it to anyone who will listen.

FNM: What is your relationship with cannabis?

RJ: In my college years, I always preferred cannabis to alcohol, but living in Texas, my options were limited. As my career in corporate IT progressed, my love for the plant was put on the backburner. It wasn’t until my husband’s health sta

rted failing about seven years ago that we decided to move to Colorado to try and find a better way. He has paradoxical reactions to traditional heart and pain medications Through our plant journey, he’s been able to finally find some relief, and moreover, some hope for a better future.

Cannabis has given me my husband back, and ultimately allowed us to live out our happily ever after. My wish for anyone joining into a union with their partner is that they find truly unconditional love Life doesn’t always go as planned, but with your best friend by your side it’s always a grand adventure!

FNM: What is your involvement in the cannabis industry?

RJ: Currently I work as the Lead Onboarding Guide for Blaze®, a Seed to Sale Software company. My role is helping new and established grow and dispensary owners/operators implement our system to find better ways to improve their day to day processes I’m also active in trying to bring a positive light to the cannabis plant through my art and clothing designs.

FNM: Tell us about your art; why AI, and why cannabis weddings as a focus?

RJ: My exploration with digital art began when we first moved to Colorado I started my design website as a way to supplement our income while we focused on my husband’s heart and health issues. After spending an embarrassingly large amount of time on LinkedIn for networking, I stumbled upon an art collective using a program called Midjourney.

Midjourney is an AI program that creates images from textual descriptions using a machine learning system. It melds together a large library of images from the internet, and reformats thousands of images to match the word prompts you’ve typed For example, one might type: “/imagine a cannabis wedding cake, ethereal, magical, cinematic, realistic.” Now, Midjourney will take all of those words into account to create a new image

With two of my younger siblings recently engaged, wedding planning has been a lively topic in our family. Being able to visually explore an elegant cannabis wedding has been delightful.

After hearing that FNM was going to be doing a wedding edition, I just knew I couldn’t keep these magical images to myself!

FNM: Where can people find your work and invest in your offerings?

RJ: My art and clothing designs are available on AirshipRebekah com It’s currently just me running the show. All of the Airship items are made to order to help reduce overproduction, and for every CannaHumans item you purchase, we donate $10 to the Sweetleaf Collective!

Rebekah's beautiful art is featured throughout this edition of Fat Nugs Magazine.

BY JESSICA REILLY-CHEVALIER

The sun was shining on a warm Friday A gentle breeze rustled through the orchard, stirring up the scent of ripening apples. Behind me, there was the sound of shutters closing rapidly, two cameras snapping In front of me, my soon to be husband flicked open a comically large lighter and withdrew from his pocket a plastic doob tube.

The moment I had been waiting for all day was finally here; it was time to smoke my first joint on my wedding day.

I got married in August, the culmination of nearly two years of planning. The weather was picture perfect; clear blue skies and warm summer temperatures cut by a light breeze. Our venue was decorated, and I had spent the last six hours with

with my bridesmaids as we rotated through hair and makeup. It was like being in college again, all of my girls gathered in one room to blast music and go through the motions of styling, priming, and primping.

Despite my satisfaction with the way the day was coming together, my body was on edge This was the biggest day of my life; certainly the most photographed. No matter how excited I was to get married, there was no denying my body was in full on panic mode

I woke at 6:15 the morning of my wedding, sun already peeking through the clouds and my stomach in knots My mind was jumbled and cluttered; I knew I had a million things to do, but I just couldn’t sort through the list. So, the first thing I did was take a bong hit.

Packed in my bowl was a custom blend of CBD and

THC at a 3:1 mixture, along with a mix of lavender herbs I needed the relaxation properties of THC (along with the anti emetic properties) but balanced with enough CBD to keep me centered and focused, not spacey and lost in thought.

I made it to the venue by 8:20 only 20 minutes late and already the feelings delivered by my bong hit were dissipating. My stomach was in my throat and none of the snacks I brought were appetizing I had some fruit purée and tried to settle in. Being surrounded by my bridesmaids with my favorite playlist going helped.

Around 10:30, my sister broke out the CBD gummies she brought with her, and I snagged one. I’m primarily a smoker, but the long lasting effects of edibles and the calming effects of CBD were exactly what I needed

The photographer arrived and set up, I got my hair, then my makeup done We took getting ready photos, bridesmaid photos, and photos with the dress. I went through portraits and the first look with my dad (highly recommend.) And then finally, finally, it was time

The photographer led me outside, to a private section of the apple orchard away from the wedding venue. My fiancé was waiting, back already turned Seeing him, I let out a sigh of relief better than any joint could bring me.

After we went through the first look and portraits, it was time to smoke In one pocket he had the joint, and in the other, a comically large lighter

The joint was a CBD/herbal blend, packed with anxiety reducing lavender and sized perfectly for the two of us It wasn’t packed with THC or rolled into a cannon both of which would have left us too high to utter one coherent line of our vows. Instead, this was a small joint with a balance of cannabinoids and herbs, thoughtfully crafted to meet our needs for the day: reduce stress levels, lower tension, and give us a moment of pause and breath

The lighter was comically large because somehow both of us had forgotten to bring one, and his groomsmen didn’t have any either The only lighter the venue had was a grill lighter, but it still got the joint lit!

Standing outside in the shade of the trees, breathing in the scent of fresh apples and weed smoke, I could almost forget it was my wedding day. It was just me and my best friend, doing something we love to do smoke a joint outside.

I love smoking a joint because I love the ritual of it. You have to grind the weed, creating a custom blend of CBD, THC, and smokable herbs, and putting an intention into the joint You have to focus on what you’re doing to roll it well, and, when you smoke outside, there’s nothing to do but sit back and enjoy the scenery and the taste of the joint

We cleared the joint with our photographer on our last call before the big day, letting her know it was important to us to be able to light up after we did our first look and couple portraits She was game, and seemed excited to shoot it perhaps it would be her first time photographing someone smoking a joint I could relate As a cannabis writer, I’m always looking for avenues to create content from

We smoked the joint an hour and a half before the ceremony Joints take around 10 to 15 minutes to kick in, and 30 to 45 minutes to peak. Although it can take over three hours to fully come down from smoking, having a CBD only joint meant that we were both fully functional and relaxed (as much as possible) during the ceremony.

I didn’t get a chance to smoke again for hours, until after dancing, speeches, and dinner A few friends who also enjoy smoking came prepared with several joints, blunts, and spliffs ready to go. The moment I was done with the cake cutting, I rushed outside to the smoking area and puffed on the first joint that was passed to me. I made my way outside periodically throughout the night, seeking whatever was already lit.

As a cannabis lover, I’m not a big drinker anyway. But, on my wedding day, when I was too stressed to even eat, drinking alcohol was fully out of the question Instead of getting drunk, I got high It had the same results, allowing me to cut loose on the dance floor, have a good time, and soak in the love from all angles.

The CBD specifically had another effect that I wasn’t expecting it kept me present. I’d heard time and time again from brides that the day flies by, and it is over in a blink But I had the opposite

experience the CBD I consumed kept me present and in the moment, allowing me to soak everything in without feeling like it was flying by too quickly.

I rely on cannabis during many moments in my life so as to tap into the power of my endocannabinoid system On my wedding day, it was of utmost importance that I felt centered and in control. The endocannabinoid system is a major neuromodulatory system in the ody, and a key regulator of both stress levels and stress responses. No matter how well you plan or how many deep breathing exercises you do, your wedding day is stressful

Intentional cannabis use made all the difference on my wedding day. I didn’t smoke just to get high; I smoked to create specific feelings and reactions in my body and my mind, allowing the cannabis to help me get somewhere I couldn’t get on my own. I relied on a cannabis blend I had made before and understood The combination of a small amount of THC along with CBD and lavender herbs helped elevate my mood, calm my nervous system, and give me enough space in my mind to take a step back from the spiral of anxious thoughts

I would never classify my wedding as a “weed wedding.” Cannabis was not the central theme, nor was it included in the decor, food, or drinks My now husband and I chose not to incorporate cannabis in a more significant way during the reception or the ceremony because most of our guests aren’t weed smokers. Many of our older guests prefer edibles, and splurging on enough for 120 people was simply out of the budget.

If you’re new to the plant, your wedding day is NOT the time to try a new strain or a new product or a new blend It’s about stimulating the system with the right dose and the right cannabinoids. Stick to what you know. Cannabis was an essential part of my wedding day because it’s always my trusty partner when I need to take the edge off and bring balance to my body, This made it perfect to include on one of the most important days of my life

Don’t use high THC strains, which can increase anxiety, stress levels, and heart rate. Opt for a type II strain or blend that has a balance of CBD and THC.

Consider adding smokable herbs. The terpenes herbs bring to the table can complement your weed. Lavender in particular is known for being calming and soothing.

Look outside flower. Edibles have a long-release time that can help you find balance throughout a stressful day. Topicals can help you calm down or relieve pain from pinching shoes.

Have a fun mocktail option at the bar for the inevitable cottonmouth (guests who don’t drink will thank you too.)

KOI HALL TELLS ALL ABOUT BUDTENDING WEDDINGS

BY LINDSEY GUNTER

sat down with Centeria “Koi” Hall over video chat (because it’s the 21st century), and I asked her some of my burning questions about a little explored topic: wedding budtending. Koi and I first worked together at Calma West Hollywood, but Koi’s journey with Cannabis started at 19 “to release the stress ” Eventually, she got into the industry itself by selling to tourists on Hollywood Boulevard, then scored a budtending gig that she ended up staying in for a year.

Koi bounced around between distro and shop jobs

were filed against Lowell after the pandemic hit

Budtending at Calma followed, then brand ambassador life got a little more interesting. During the summer of 2021, a connection from her time at Lowell led Koi to her first wedding budtending gig. The leap seemed natural, and Koi knew she wanted to do it more but how? Being realistic on resource limitations, she took note of a company already in the niche, discovered that a

friend was already working with them, applied to join the team, and the rest is history!

Koi is also a photographer who specializes in polaroid special effects and portraiture (her art is featured on the following pages). As photographers, we of course started with Kodak moments versus selfies at a cannabis wedding.

Fat Nugs Magazine: Do you find people at cannabis weddings typically enjoy taking photos of themselves consuming? And, if so, is it done comfortably, or is it more timid first time selfies?

Koi Hall: It’s a combination. You have grandma recording from a distance. Wine moms smoking a joint and wanting to take a picture for their kids

We laugh and she goes on to explain that guests already know in advance about the presence of cannabis, and that some people even bring their own for exclusive use We mutually comment on the overall gangster vibe of a move like that, and Koi adds that, where pictures are concerned, she has observed smoking photos increase when the drinking begins.

FNM : For those people out there who maybe can’t imagine what it would be like at a cannabis friendly wedding, what would you describe it as? What to expect; is it an appetizer how does it work?

KH: Oh, it’s like a bar. It’s exactly like a bar. It’s an open bar You have different joints laid out, different strains, most of the time you’ll have edibles as well, but we microdose edibles too. People kinda like munching on them. I mean, they tend to taste good, and getting 30 mg from grazing three times versus 7 5 they’re like, “Okay, I feel a buzz now” it’s just better that way. People are going to be indulging, so it’s like, let's do it so everybody’s cool

FNM: Who provides the cannabis products for the wedding?

KH: The wedding party is the one that usually does that. But it’s usually a gift, so it’s like the groomsmen will go out and get the weed.

Even the edibles are expertly microdosed and prepared in a curated spread detailing such strains

PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY OF KOI HALL

as Wedding Cake. She further goes on to explain that procurement is also commonly done through a cannabis delivery service such as Eaze

The wedding budtenders come in an hour or so before the bar opens and have that time in which to roll and prepare Though an hour and a half is ideal for prep, her advice is to not show up too early because, with certain venues, the ceremony room might double as the reception venue. It is what it is, but if you are having a cannabis wedding with a reception in the same room as the

FNM: Do you have any wedding budtending stories worth sharing?

KH: Um, I mean there hasn’t been anything too crazy that’s happened.

FNM: Whaaaat? But that’s also good

We laugh.

KH: Compared to the cannabis cafe where I literally had people passing out, and I just had to be okay with it; that doesn’t tend to happen at the weddings.

The only time she can recall someone passing out at one of these weddings was during a night with “ a very high energy, hyped up crowd.” She hinted further “I figured he was on something else [not cannabis] because he was, you know, doing a lot ”

Koi suddenly gasps excitedly and says she has a story to share that occurred at that same wedding this hyped man passed out at “This ties into your tips question ”

ceremony, please consider setup time when communicating with the budtenders

FNM: Do you see cannabis weddings as something that will become more popular, or is it relegated to being a novelty until federalization?

KH: I definitely feel like it’s going to become more popular. That’s because Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors had blunts at his wedding So it’s definitely becoming a thing

FNM: So, are we talking about a thing like the center of the wedding, a bar like you said, or will it become as simple as a cannabis cigar roller posted up in the back?

KH: I feel like it could be a mixture of all those things Either way it’s gonna be more mainstream, like the open [alcohol] bar at the wedding Sometimes they give the bar at a wedding a very fancy whiskey, or a fine wine because they are at a winery or something like that

You’ve heard of vineyard destination weddings, just imagine cultivation destination weddings featuring strains grown right there on location.

The bartender walked up to them at one point in the night and expressed with perceived urgency that “people are passing out,” implying the occurrence was due to the budtenders’ irresponsible “overserving” of party goers. They immediately moved the joints behind their bar so

people no longer had free access, and promptly made contact with the event planner, who did not seem to have heard anything about that problem

Koi explained she knows it's about tips.

KH: The bartenders don’t like us because they think we are taking their tips, when, in reality, we don’t even get tipped! Not the way bartenders get tipped

In fact, she was the one who advocated for budtenders’ right to a gratuity. The reason for the advocacy is to solve a problem, one that comes up only because of the stigma; it is considered uncouth for wedding budtenders to accept cash tips because “it looks too much like selling drugs.”

In Koi’s experience, they would walk out with 12 to 20 bucks total most nights unless the bride and groom personally provided a budgeted tip, which is not common practice.

FNM: So, after being a wedding budtender yourself, would you have cannabis at your wedding?

KH: I don’t know, I'm not even sure I’m gonna get married

FNM: Fair. Well, say that you were, or someone you know is looking into it for theirs, would you recommend it?

KH: That’s actually what my best friend wants me to do at her bridal shower once all the older folks leave She wants me to roll blunts for her!

Like me, Koi can’t possibly see herself marrying anyone who doesn’t also smoke weed. Getting more into the idea of having a wedding now, Koi recommends having a cannabis bar as long as there is adequate consideration for family member preferences, adding, “If we have to have alcohol involved, and I don’t even drink like that, then we can have cannabis there in some shape or form.”

Amen!

FNM: Speaking of alcohol, have the weddings you have budtended served alcohol at the same time, and what is your opinion on serving the two together at events?

KH: It just kind of goes back to the cafe, where there were really bad situations with people drinking beforehand and then coming in and smoking; they’d be a lot rowdier, so I knew already to sort of expect that because at every wedding I have ever been to there has been an open bar Every single one

She tells me then that they actually have protocols to cut people off, though they don’t frequently have to They let the person know they are cut off and simply inform the event planner of their name and the rest is taken care of. Sounds more peaceful than cutting people off at the Hollywood Bowl, that’s for sure.

Koi continues to tell me about how wedding budtenders are also relied upon to advise consumers on how to decide on the best way for them to partake in the cannabis offerings

“Have you smoked before? How do you smoke? Have you tried this or that?” are just the beginning, but with an average of only three strains offered at these weddings in addition to low dose edibles, the decision doesn’t take long

KH: If someone says they don’t smoke but they want to try a joint, I will advise them, like, “Hey since you don’t usually smoke you should probably start with an edible,” or, “Can you share [the joint] with someone?” or something like that.

FNM: Have there ever been any dabs?

KH: Nope And the thing is, too, a lot of these people are out of towners, and if they saw that they would freak out. It’s only certain people. The few times I’ve been asked about dabs at weddings I just look at them like, “Come on, you know we can’t ”

We agree the most digestible dab would probably be a Puffco. She even admits she might like having dabs at her hypothetical cannabis wedding

FNM: If you were to advise someone attending a cannabis wedding for the first time as to proper etiquette, what would you say?

KH: Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do at home. You are outside, don’t embarrass your family. If you know that you don’t smoke, don’t take three joints, put them in your mouth and light them up Don’t be that guy It’s someone’s special day, so don’t ruin it. Don’t be an asshole, but at the same time enjoy yourself. Pace yourself, know your limits. It’s about celebrating someone’s special moment, it’s not about you

FNM: As a person who has done both, which is the better gig wedding budtender or dispensary budtender?

KH: That’s kind of hard to say, to be honest, they both have their pros and cons There are three types of budtenders: dispensary, restaurant and wedding. I would honestly say the restaurant. I mean, it was a lot I had to deal with, but I got paid the most there. I still got to meet celebrities and a lot of cool people But, the cool thing about the weddings is I get to travel and I’m still networking.

Koi, always a savvy business woman, took care to maintain direct relationships with wedding planners so as to strengthen her position as an independent contractor in this blossoming niche market. She recognizes her roots in dispensary budtending, and acknowledges how those times were pivotal in developing her networking and branding skills However, the money and perks made the restaurant gig stand out above the other budtending locales.

For more information about Koi and her work in photography or event budtending, you can find her on Instagram @koistheshooter and @koi likethefish454 as well as LinkedIn.

Koi is based in Long Beach, California, and is currently pursuing further education in cannabis and business. She is a continued advocate for workers’ rights in the cannabis industry, as well as building consumption experiences that destigmatize cannabis

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Have you ever ducked out of a social gathering, perhaps solo or with a compatriot, to sneak a toke or two in an attempt to round out the rougher edges of a stale evening?

I’m generally not the type to make assumptions, however, I’d wager a handsome bet you’ve dealt in similar discretions given the fine publication you’re currently reading So, it’s likely you can relate to a certain experience that sometimes plays out post the sneak a toke session.

You saunter back to join the festivities at hand, ready to give the night a second chance with your newly adjusted attitude. Visions of the dessert bar dance across your thoughts as you open the door

But, as soon as you cross the threshold, it suddenly feels as though you have stumbled into a parallel dimension. It’s the same room, the same party, the same people yet instead of the staleness that was permeating the mood prior to your little outing,

djkind <3s WEED

BY RIAN KOCHEL

you’re picking up a vibe that seems a tad intimidating Maybe even menacing The thought of making it to that dessert bar that shined like Shangri La in your mind’s eye mere moments before has become an endeavor that now resembles the hero’s journey through an epic Greek poem and that’s when you realize…you might have snuck yourself one toke over the line.

What initially felt like a manageable buzz while you were outside five minutes before feels more like thunder baked chaos now that you're indoors and sharing a space with a crowd of people under harsh lighting This can be where your fight or flight response kicks into overdrive. Do you abruptly do a 180 and engage in a green and ghost (the stoner version of an Irish goodbye) or double down and embark on a perilous quest across the room, running the risk of pitfalls like small talk for the promise of cake?

Personally, I could advocate for either option, how

ever, during the summer of 2002, I attended countless wedding receptions wherein I chose to eat cake and knuckle through the stoner anxiety All of them were celebrations for complete strangers I was the Master of Ceremonies and/or Disc Jockey for the evening. A hired hand from a local business. Ninety percent of the time I was maybe just a smidge too baked One hundred percent of the time I gained insights that stick with me to this day.

I snatched the wedding gig up almost immediately after it materialized during the early spring of my junior year of college. On paper it seemed ideal. It offered a decent hourly rate plus tips, and generally you scored a free dinner out of the evening. The plucky husband and wife duo that ran the business provided all the gear and took care of finding, booking, and scheduling the gigs. All you needed to do was meet up with a predetermined partner for the evening, swing by a storage shed to grab the gear on your way to the venue, set up the DJ station, and make the magic happen.

For reference, 22 year old Rian Kochel DJ ed sets out at bars and parties regularly I was also the host of a community radio show that ran every Friday from 4 to 6 p.m. In a time where marijuana was still very much illegal, I went by the moniker “djkind ” My on air tagline was, “Be kind to your buds ” I had stacks of vinyl stickers made that read: “djkind <3s you” and passed them out everywhere I went. Twenty two year old Rian was not good with subtlety

While the job seemed great on paper, in practice it became a smoldering tinderbox of tedium that started to severely interfere with my precious social life at the time When I picked up the opportunity in early spring, offerings for work had been sparse and only included a few weddings here and there. I even played a prom for a neighboring town’s high school But once June hit, I was blindsided with a crushing reality I’d never been privy to in the entirety of my 22 years.

It might come as a shock to you as well, or maybe it serves to underscore my gay cluenessess of straight culture at the time. It turns out A LOT of people have weddings during the summer months What’s more, a lot of them schedule their weddings during the weekends! In the summer! Who would’ve

even guessed that this would be a trend?! I, for one, was incredulous. The audacity people have, with the want to celebrate their eternal love for each other during the three most blissful months of the year

I was booked every weekend of June, sometimes with up to three different gigs over the two days July and August looked even more bleak While my friends were off all fancy free, languidly drifting down the Blackfoot River on innertubes, reveling in the pristine splendor nature provides during a Montana summer, I was stuck in a DJ booth shoulder to shoulder with a quintessential frat bro in an ill fitting suit named Hank.

Together, Hank and I alternated roles (determined by a two out of three round of rock, paper, scissors prior to setting up) as the MC or DJ for an onslaught of marital hootenannies. Every reception began to feel like a hollow echo of the prior one, with predictable benchmarks that served as a timeline for each gig.

First came the grand entrance This was an important moment that would set the tone for the rest of the party. It was the newlyweds’ first formal introduction to the world as Mr. and Mrs.

The DJ would slowly push a fader on the mixer up, bleeding a song into the room that was previously specified by the newly married couple, and subtly inform everyone to STFU. Then, once a signal from a liaison for the couple was verified, the MC would bellow into the mic with an introduction along the lines of:

“Ladies and Gentleman, it is my distinct honor and privilege to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. !!!”

When Hank had the mic, he always ended up with something easy, like “Smith” or “Green.” This was never the case for yours truly. My bride and groom seemed to without fail share a surname that at first glance might be mistaken for algebra Every panicked attempt to verify how to pronounce this block of nonsensical language before the bride and groom arrived would be met with a new pronunciation of it, and I would proceed to get on the mic with some terrible Celine Dion ballad wailing behind me and without fail butcher the big intro.

Next came meal service. This is pretty much the only break you could catch during the run of a gig Hank would stroll out into the party and take stock of the single women. I took to wolfing down the dry entrée offering of the evening and hustling out the door for a quick toke ‘er two to help get me through the impending shit storm Hank and I would be sailing this party through: the drinking and dancing portion of the night.

Per contractual agreement with company policy, Hank and I were not allowed to drink at events Predictably, this was a bummer in young Rian’s book. But my Pa raised me to have integrity when it came to getting a job done, any job. I might have drained a flat keg cup once or twice while no one was looking, but I was mostly abiding when it came to staying as dry as my post entree cottonmouth during these events.

It proved to be very enlightening. I had never really been around sloppy drunk people at a party and not been sloppy drunk myself I had definitely not experienced the scenario in repeated intervals at high frequency, and I hope to never be exposed

to such dense, back to back servings of depravity again.

The drinking and dancing portion of the night always erupted, quite suddenly, from a place of pure joy, and finding that vein of unabashed human revelry was always the heaviest lift of the night. Unequivocally, any DJ can tell you that the hardest part of the job isn’t keeping people dancing, although that’s an art in its own right What’s more difficult is getting them to start dancing. It’s rudimentary physics really. Objects at rest tend to stay at rest, objects in motion tend to stay in motion.

Once whipped into a frenzy of joyful and frantic body movement, these crowds would rapidly spin off into silos of booze soaked oblivion, summoning the final chapter of the evening the Tragic Hour

The Tragic Hour is where I gained the most insight. As my current incarnation in this shared

DUSTIN HOXWORTH

DUSTIN HOXWORTH

reality, the universe has gifted me with a deep well of empathy Amplified by cannabis at these events, my empathic nature pinged off of the flurry of wide ranging and constantly shifting emotions in the room like a Gieger Counter at Chernobyl. It became abundantly clear to me that alcohol twisted and separated peoples’ emotions like a string in the wind The results were never beautiful, nor were they ugly. They were raw. Unfiltered. Unrefined puddles of crude human behavior stained around the edges with a very specific shade of sadness The kind of sadness that comes from the same spectrum of emotive color as heartache.

Tragic Hour always provided Hank with a rolodex of phone numbers given away by inebriated bridesmaids that seethed with loneliness and simmered with envy. This explained Hank’s willingness to skip Saturday night toga parties with his bros in favor of random wedding receptions with strangers

He would always mutter, “Fish in a barrel,” at the end of the night while smugly gloating over his hoard of new phone numbers on the drive to drop off the gear I would stare out of the window and ponder how the outcome might differ if those metaphorical fish were baked instead of pickled.

What if everyone raised a spliff instead of a glass in celebration of the couple? This would cast an entirely different lens on the affair, undoubtedly It would be a gathering where the brashness that liquor pulled out of people’s personalities was replaced with the depth of their characters.

My feeble attempt to pronounce the newlyweds’ multisyllabic conundrum of a last name might be met with the forgiveness of laughter instead of a brisk gust of judgmental silence.

The caterer would make a killing and I wouldn’t have to sneak off anywhere.

Attendees would be engrossed in conversations with each other as opposed to drunkenly talking in circles at each other

The dance floor wouldn’t erupt and quickly boil over into obscurity. It would stay at a steady clip

all night. There would be requests for deep cuts from uncommon artists The final hours of the evening would likely be soaked primarily in the sweetness of well wishes as opposed to tinged in tragedy.

Cannabis might help people like Hank gain perspective Maybe being witness to a genuine celebration of the enduring love that has brought two people together would make him realize his previous approach to gathering new contacts for his little black book was flat out gross and predatory Perhaps he would understand that love isn’t a game where you treat people as objects, but instead is a gift that is given from one person to another without a thought about what might be received in return

DUSTIN HOXWORTH

RIAN KOCHEL

CUL TU RE

Wedding Cakeby

Ganjier Review

By Rob Sanchez

There’s one particular dessert themed cultivar that has become a mainstay in the industry over the last few years, Wedding Cake! There are actually two strains of this out and about One originated in Canada when Cherry Pie was crossed with Girl Scout Cookies to bring the Granddaddy Purp traits into the GSC line This is called Wedding Cake, in some regions but is more commonly referred to as Pink Cookies.

In the U S , Wedding Cake is a pheno from Seed Junky Genetics that won the first place prize for Best Hybrid Flower at the 2018 SoCal High Times

Medical Cannabis Cup. Wedding Cake (Triangle Mints #23) comes from Animal Mints x Triangle Kush The Animal Mints cut comes from Animal Cookies (Fire OG x GSC) crossed with SinMint Cookies (Blue Power x GSC) from Sin City Seeds Take all of that and cross it with the legendary Triangle Kush to get Wedding Cake. This cultivar won an award in 2019 as the Leafly Strain of the Year

For this sample I had Wedding Cake by Circle S Farms (CSFNV.com). This eighth came in a plastic jar with no frill packaging, topped off with the black label and silver Circle S Farms brand name. Harvested in May 2022 and packaged only a few weeks ago on

September 14, this piece of Wedding Cake did not disappoint

Appearance: Trichome coverage looks great here with many of the trichome heads intact. A nice trim was done to accent the curves, and the product seems to have been properly cured A dense web of light orange stigma covers the dark green bud with bursts of light green leaves throughout.

Aroma: This one was jumping out of the jar for sure. With a solid GSC burst of Durban Poison, the aroma is sharp and immediate before mellowing out into the peppery kush tones of the OG and Triangle Kush heritage You can tell this cultivar is top notch, as the smell is something one can’t seem to get enough of. The complexity shifts and evolves as you inhale, daring you to pin it down

Flavor: The sweet Durban nose of the aroma is the first thing you can taste on the dry hit and again on

the inhale. Exhaling brings that familiar OG Kushspice, as well as the flavors of herbs and earth. A slight lemon note can be found either as a result of the Durban or the Lemon Thai deep in the line. This burned even and smooth down to the crutch

Experience: Wedding Cake is not for the faint of heart. If you’re sensitive to cannabis, tread with caution or you’ll be seated for a while The ride is a heavy one that comes on fairly quick with lingering relaxation. It’s a strain perhaps best enjoyed after the wedding to slow things down.

It’s easy to see why this cultivar took the scene and continues to contribute to this day with more crosses being made, like Wedding Crasher. The rich history of cultivars that have gone into this one is almost too good to be true, with OG Kush, Triangle Kush, and Durban Poison coming together to make something wonderful.