Fayetteville FEED March 2010

March 2010 Volume 1, Issue 2

also...

Citizen Cope, Clean Escape, Mama Lou, Sir Ben Marx, Micheal Dees

91 0 - 4 9 7 - 2 4 4 0 SPRING LAKE, NC 28390

Over

1,000 Firearms in Stock

Indoor Shooting Range Shoot Shotguns, Rifles and Pistols Rentals Available

Largest Selection of Tactical Knives in the South-East

Concealed Carry Classes Available

910-497-2440 1503 North Bragg Boulevard Spring Lake, NC 28390

Autumn Nicholas finds peace after going through war.

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Words from James FEEDback Concert Schedule Review: Spoon’s Transference Top 10 in the ‘Ville Artist Micheal Dees Game Review: Mass Effect 2 Book Review: The Unnamed The Vice Paddy’s Guide to...

Bigfoot and Dan Shots in the Dark Jaymie’s Backburner March 2010

Albert Stichka - so manly, that this is his default face.

Publisher Managing Editor Editor

Head Correspondent Contributing Writers

Photography

graphic design

Business Manager Account Executives

Marshall Waren Ryan Harrell James Johnson

Jaymie Baxley D’Juan Irvin Charlee Sairrino Tasina N. Ducheneaux Ian MacTavish Paddy Gibney Vincent Damico

Raul Rubiera Jr. Albert Stichka Jeffrey Nihiser

Prudence Mainor Amanda Taylor Richard Potts Chris Burke Ruth Golsteyn

The Fayetteville FEED is published twelve times annually by Fayetteville FEED Publishing.

Address: 2533 Raeford Road, Suite C, Fayetteville NC 28305, Phone: 910.321.0743, Website: www.fayettevillefeed.com Postmaster send address changes to: The Fayetteville FEED Publishing, LLC, 2533 Raeford Road, Suite C, Fayetteville NC 28305. Postage paid at Fayetteville, NC. Application to mail at Periodicals Postage Rates is pending at Fayetteville, NC and at additional mailing offices. Published twelve times a year. Audit applications submitted. ISSN applied for. No part of this magazine may be reproduced without written permission. Copyright 2010. All images Copyright 2010 Jupiterimages Corporation, The Fayetteville FEED, and Raul Rubiera Jr., unless specified otherwise. Publication of an advertisement in The Fayetteville FEED does not constitute an endorsement of the product or service by The Fayetteville FEED, Fayetteville FEED Publishing. All manuscripts submitted should be accompanied by a selfaddressed envelope and sufficient return postage. While reasonable care will be taken, the publisher cannot be held responsible for unsolicited manuscripts and photographs.

The Fayetteville FEED is a registered trademark used by Fayetteville FEED Publishing, LLC All rights reserved.

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March 2010

Bro-mance As if we didn’t have enough reasons to dislike the state of Oklahoma...

Starting March 1st, we at the FEED will be saying goodbye to photographer Albert Stichka, who will be moving back to The Sooner State sooner than any of us had anticipated. Though this is only our second issue, Albert took numerous photos for the fayettevilleFEED. com stories, and has been a personal friend to both headcorrespondent Jaymie Baxley and I for years …

We have been spoiled by immense talent here at the FEED, and so it almost goes without saying that Albert was one of the finest photographers I personally have had the pleasure to work with. He had a unique way of camping out for hours unnoticed, while capturing the most personal and riveting images that the human eye might otherwise overlook. If he ever gets tired of these good ol’ United States, Albert could be raking in Pulitzers as a war correspondent. Albert is the master of good timing – though his departure couldn’t come at a worse time. Dude – seriously – we *just* started a magazine...

Honestly, I’m not writing this ode to Albert because he is a phenomenal photographer, though he is – I’m writing this because Albert is one of those friends who is so cool that you find yourself bragging about his accomplishments, and retelling his stories… In the mid90s Saturday Night Live had a now mostly forgotten sketch in which these drunken insurance salesmen would sit around a bar, regaling each other with seemingly exaggerated stories about the manliest, strongest, larger than life man they knew: Bill Brasky (“Bill Brasky once swallowed a seagull!”)...This sketch was the pre-cursor to the Chuck Norris jokes of today...Albert Stichka is our Bill Brasky.

If I tried to describe Albert or told you our Albert stories – you’d probably think I was making it up – the man is one part Gandhi, two parts Einstein and at least a quarter Clint Eastwood...One day, he singlehandedly

tracked down a man who had broken into his car and stole his CDs by forcing a crackhead to help him identify him, then upon finding the man, physically forced him to go back to the shop he’d tried to pawn them at, so that he could admit to his crime and get the items back...The cops eventually came and Albert dropped all charges, leaving the man with a warning...This is the type of man Albert Stichka is. Fearless enough to fight for what’s right and disciplined enough to know when the fight is won.

Albert’s parents have every reason in the world to be proud of their son, not just for having developed his talents as a photographer, but for having developed into one of humanity’s finest.

Congratulations Oklahoma, you finally have something worth touting – update your license plates accordingly.

fu • sion [fyoo-zhuhn] –noun 1. the act or process of melting or blending.

We do it all, from colors to cuts, amazing hair extensions to Brazillian straighteners, make-up to waxing.

We’ll take care of you.

910.323.5202 • 304 Hay Street • Fayetteville, NC 28301

“Area troubadour Chris Hurst has garnered heaps of local adoration with his highly personable stage presence, enviable work ethic and sizable repertoire of songs.”

- The Fayetteville Feed Photo: Chris Chun

Editor James Johnson has lived in North Carolina his entire life, and written for numerous publications as staff writer, freelancer and editor.

“He’s into the blues and has become a staple at bars and music venues across the city...He’s definitely in high demand.”

- The Fayetteville Observer

See Chris on Friday nights at Morgan's Chop House 7:30 p.m. - 10:30 p.m.

Saturday nights at the DoubleTree Hotel 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.

For Booking Contact: (336) 264-3887, chris.hurst80@yahoo.com, myspace.com/chrishurst1980

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What can w e say, w e' re social b utter flies.

Upon releasing the FEED upon the denizens of Fayetteville, we half expected to be greeted with torches and pitchforks – fortunately we’ve been greeted with the below responses instead with nary a brick thrown ... ‘cept maybe one.

Write us at jjohnson@fayettevillefeed.com We’re also taking up space at... www.Facebook.com/FayettevilleFEED www.Myspace.com/thefayettevillefeed and www.Twitter.com/FayFeed

“Why haven’t I seen this before? Very nice, Fayetteville! Love the magazine’s graphics, too, especially the portrait of Lafayette. Glad to be a fan. Thank you!”

Donald R. Belk, via Facebook “Congrats on your Feb. print issue. Love the gloss! Walked (my dog) Rudy down to the Rude (Awakening), drank a mocha and read the Feed!

Life couldn’t be better!”

Micki Nyman, via Facebook “Good job on the first issue...moving fast at The Rock Shop! Are you guys going to put the back issues of your printed edition on your website as a downloadable pdf? Just wondering.”

Kenneth Mayner (of the Rock Shop), via Facebook Yes – we are working with the website elves to make this happen.

The FEED “Love the magazine, picked it up on Saturday.”

Stacey Avian Robinson, via Facebook “Love the new magazine!”

Danny Jones, via Facebook “The first issue looked amazing! Great Job to all of the staff! Congrats!!”

Bernie Mangiboyat (of The Fifth), via Facebook.

“Wow. Just got your premiere print issue. Cool content and edgy design. I like that you guys dare to be different. And Paddy’s eyes on the cover are ... penetrating. Great photo. Congrats!”

Janet Gibson Uffinger via Facebook.

“Keep up the great work!

- Roy Cathey (of The Fifth)” via Facebook.

FED UP

This photo was sent in by FEED fan Sarah Andersen...We’re not sure what’s going on in this picture, but we’re quite sure that snowman will never be the same again.

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March 2010

Remember what we said earlier about angry villagers? Well, every town’s got one – and we suffered her ire early in the month, when she wrote to us to condemn what she felt were less than family friendly material in our magazine.

She honestly had some good points.

We don’t want anyone giving her guff (though guff is Fayetteville’s number one export), so

we’re keeping her name and the general details of her letter private, but she made some points worth addressing.

“Hmmm. Call me old fashioned, but I have to agree that this magazine is not appropriate …

The magazine (sic) some rather adult articles and photos that would not be totally appropriate for distribution ...

I’m sure the teenage boys would love it, but I’m not sure their moms would be too happy...

- The front cover has a photo of a boxer with seemingly bloody knuckles.

- The majority of ads are for gun dealers and tattoo parlors.

- Lots of drinking photos.

- One small image has a girl with money coming out of her low-cut top.

- One article is entitled “Sex, Lies and Games” – and definitely does not feature family-friendly content with phrases such as “get some,” “douche,” “24-hour relationship.”

- Article with bloody boxer imagery features phrases, such as “Be careful with whom you hook up with after the show: Cause the last thing you want to

wake up with in the morning is a story that can’t be told.”

- Another article entitled “Unknown Hinson is straight from hell” with a graphic illustration of some men trashing a hotel room drinking moonshine. The article text has a featured quotes (sic), such as: “There are a lot of women, but we can’t do them all,” and “I get their women so happy and excited and then they realize they’re gonna get lucky later that night.

This is good for the men, you see. A lot of women like for me to sign their breasts, the downside is that the men have to stare at my signature all night long.”

- Another graphic that says “I love Cock…fighting” - (there is) a review of Grand Theft Auto – a rated R video game.”

Mysterious lady, via e-mail Evidently we shocked this woman into a mild coma – and for that, we apologize profusely. We checked with our moms and found that they were less offended, so statistically speaking, we still think

our magazine is safe to allow your older family members to read, just keep a watchful eye on them and beware of sharp objects.

Most all of the supposedly inappropriate items mentioned can be found on the very public and equally as free television which resides in the majority of households around the country. Blood, images of people drinking, women in low cut shirts, sexual innuendo (in the case of the “I love cock fighting” image, that was literally taken from a television show called Squidbillies), mild language, and yes – men trashing hotel rooms.

Magazines routinely do reviews of R-rated films, so we’re not entirely sure why doing a review of an M-rated video game is somehow more offensive.

But honestly, we have heard you and have made a conscious effort to tone down the magazine’s content, ‘cause honestly, we want to produce a magazine our moms will love just as much as everyone else.

-FEED

READER SUBMISSION

God & Body Art

By Joel A. Christian Christians often come across as sort of cultural police, sternly waving their fingers at the world around them for not fitting into their stereotype of what is right and wrong. Now in the case of moral issues, I understand. The Bible addresses a ton of moral issues regarding marriage, sex, care for the poor, Joel A. Christian - he honest business has to wear shades practices and ‘cause his afterlife is so bright. authenticity of

worship, but these don’t seem to be the issues biting at most of the finger waving crowd. In fact, statistics by Christian pollsters show that these greater moral issues don’t really change inside or outside the church; where there are people there are problems.

No, the issues usually taxing their minds are those of appearance, sort of the biblical “dress-code.” As we all know “cleanliness is next to godliness”; although, that is never found in the scriptures.

One issue that has always appalled me is the constant misreading of the scripture regarding the topic of tattoos.

Alright, I’ll admit it; I come to this issue with a bit of a bias. I’m a thirty-three

year old Pastor of Family Ministries with facial piercings and I’m currently working towards sleeves. I take my tattoos seriously; they are part of my identity. My tattooed wedding ring reminds me of my marriage that I almost lost. My right wrist speaks to my continuous struggle of selfishness and of self-pride, that in my past left trails of baggage and heart-ache. The saints tattooed on my forearms remind me constantly of my call to be a pastor, to strive as these men did to be like Christ.

So you have to understand, the constant misrepresenting of the scriptural view of tattooing tends to rub me the wrong way, as if someone is obnoxiously booing as I’m trying to tell the story of

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my life.

So what is the scriptural view of tattooing? Well, there really isn’t one, not a clear one at least. There are two major sections of scripture that the “anti-tattoo” crowd loves to misuse as a case against tattooing, but that’s nothing a simple reading of these verses won’t quickly clear up. The first

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is found way back in the Old Testament in the book of Leviticus. Leviticus 19:28 says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves.

I am the Lord.” The anti-tattoo crowd erroneously stops there and concludes that God hates his people getting inked; however, that would be a highly inaccurate reading of the scriptures.

When you look at the surrounding verses in chapter 19 you see that God is dealing with a bigger issue than appearance. His issue is worship. In verses 26 through 31, God is dealing with Israel no longer involving themselves in pagan practices of worship- sorcery, fortune-telling or cutting their bodies to please the dead. Last time I went to the Chop Shop to work on my sleeve they weren’t like, “Hey man, just have a seat while I light this altar to Baal.”

Modern tattooing is not at all what is being addressed here in Leviticus.

The second set of verses that is often misused is 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. ” Your body being the temple is a concept that is tossed all around the Christian marketplace for many reasons. This verse has been used to combat tattooing, sell “Christian” diets and even to dictate how good and proper Christians should dress. All of these reasons, however, are inaccurate.

The second part of 1 Corinthians chapter 6 is dealing with sexual immorality, specifically addressing the issue of sleeping with pagan “temple prostitutes”. Paul goes on to say that all other sin is outside the body or not affecting “the temple”, but sexual immorality does affect the temple.

Paul basically states in short that these verses have nothing to do with getting tattooed.

Despite the misrepresentation of the Scriptures, the Bible has little to nothing to say about what we know as tattooing today. Through Christ we are called to be righteous, but that righteousness comes through his work on the cross and not by the law. Paul in Galatians 2 would sum it up nicely “I do not nullify the grace of God; for if justification were through the law, then Christ died to no purpose.” So if you want to get a tattoo, you’re fine. Go ahead. Jesus loves you and your tattoos.

We scoured the web in search of upcoming shows in the area, but we can’t shake the feeling that we missed some. Give us a heads up via e-mail (JJohnson@fayettevilleFEED.com)on any upcoming shows that we may have missed, and we’ll update this list online at www.FayettevilleFEED.com.

The Rock Shop 106 S. Eastern Blvd., Fayetteville, NC, 910-321-7625 Mar 5, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 6, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 8, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 10, 7:00 p.m.

Mar 12, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 12, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 13, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 15, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 19, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 20, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 22, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 26, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 27, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 28, 8:00 p.m.

Dark Water Rising CD RELEASE PARTY w/100 Yorktown & Rear View Loudwater Fury, Dreamkiller, Oakcrest, Jettison Never Open Mic Loch Ness MonsTOUR w/No Bragging Rights, Affiance, Across The Sun The River City Nightmare, Thou Shall Burn, Phucket Underwater, Memphis Witch Attracting the Fall As Summer Dies, Cleverform Open Mic Pericles Legacy Kills, Betray Your Own, Dear Enemy Ghandi’s Never Wrong Twice Open Mic, Stella, A Dull Science, Acirema Schmegma, Hollow Leg New Machine, Rebel Vegas Masquerade, The Great American Beast, Trustkill, Hey Bastard

Cats Cradle 300 E. Main Street, Carrboro, NC 27510-2359, 919-967-9053 Mar 3, 7:00 p.m.

Mar 5, TBA Mar 6, 9:00 p.m.

Mar 11, 7:30 p.m.

Mar 12, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 13, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 16, 9:30 p.m.

Mar 18, 9:00 p.m.

Mar 20, 9:00 p.m.

Mar 21, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 23, 8:00 p.m.

Mar 25, 9:00 p.m.

Mar 26, 8:45 p.m.

Mar 27, TBA

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Copeland, I Can Make a Mess Like Nobody’s Business, Person L, Deas Vail Bowling For Soup, The Dollyrots Rogue Wave, Avi Buffalo Circa Survive, Good Old War, The Christmas Lights Music Kickin Grass Band, Adrienne Young The Low Anthem, Lissie, Annie & The Beekeepers Kool Keith Black Lips, Box Elders The Rosebuds, Mount Weather Deerhunter RX Bandits, The Builders, The Butchers, Zechs Marquise The XX The Soft Pack, Nodozz, Beaters Reggae Relief for Haiti w/Dub Addis, Crucial Fiya, Jamrock, Mickey Mills & Steel Arif and The Anchants, Curry Don, Steve Martinez,

March 2010

ul Rubiera Jr

Photo by Ra

Mar 29, 9:00 p.m.

Mar 30, 9:00 p.m.

Sparkles of Positively Nelson, DHIM Reggae Band, The 7 Experience King Khan & The Shrines, The Fresh & Onlys Major Lazer, Rusko, Sleigh Bells

Local 506 506 W. Franklin Street, Chapel Hill, NC 27516 919-942-5506 Mar 1, 9:30 p.m. Title Tracks, Pretty & Nice Mar 3, 8:30 p.m. Cat’ Cradle presents: Tim Barry, Ninja Gun,

Jason Kutchma Mar 4, TBA Mar 5, 9:00 p.m. P.O.S., Dessa, Astronautalis Mar 6, 9:00 p.m. Cat’ Cradle presents:

Spring Break Forever 2010, Jenny Owen

Youngs, Bess Rogers, Allison Weiss Mar 7, 9:00 p.m. Cymbals Eat Guitars, Bear In Heaven,

Freelance Whales Mar 9, 9:30 p.m. Awesome Color, Tyvek Mar 11, 8:00 p.m. Danielson, Ortolan, Ben & Vesper

ALL AGES Mar 12, 9:30 p.m. The Morning Benders, Miniature Tigers,

Acrylics Mar 13, TBA Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson Mar 14, TBA Here We Go Magic, Lake Inferior Mar 15, 9:00 p.m. I Was Totally Destroying It, Mobley,

En Serenade Mar 17, 8:45 p.m. Cat’ Cradle presents: Fruit Bats, Blue Giant Mar 19, 10:00 p.m. The Mercury Program, Fin Fang Foom

Mar 20, 9:30 p.m. The Mercury Program, Fin Fang Foom Mar 21, 9:00 p.m. The Strange Boys, Last Year’s Men,

Pinche Gringo Mar 22, 9:30 p.m. Hockey, The Constellations, The Postelles Mar 23, TBA The Ruby Suns, Toro Y Moi Mar 24, 9:00 p.m. Tally Hall, Jukebox The Ghost, Skybox Mar 25, 8:00 p.m. Shearwater, Wye Oak, Hospital Ships Mar 26, TBA Max Indian, Ryan Gustafson, The Light Pines Mar 30, 9:30 p.m. Jer Coons, Matt Duke

March 28 Durham Performing Arts Center Durham, NC

Catch the Fayetteville Podcast every Friday on fayettevillefeed.com

fayettevillefeed.com

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Spoon Gets Bent Review: Transference Artist: Spoon

By Vincent Damico

With the burden of having to follow up to 2007’s critically drooled over Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, the men of Spoon have released a project that doesn’t try to reproduce the sound of their previous albums, so much as reinvent it.

After a dozen or so albums, you would think that you would know what a Spoon L.P. would sound like, i.e., something akin to frolicking through flower covered fields in your Chucks, rolling down hills to get your jeans all grass stained. The band’s latest album, Transference, is like a nail sticking out of the hillside. It snags at your clothes and skin, leaving a huge bloody mess of things in its wake. The first half of the album is exactly that-a huge, jumbled mess of things.

Although Spoon produced the album themselves, they left most of the

songs in their raw “demo” form, leaving the chopping and the vocals scattered – and yet somehow it still manages to work. The track “Got Nuffin’ has got a jagged dancing riff that works for it, while “Goodnight, Laura” lets us be mesmerized by the floating headless voice of Britt Daniel.

Though the album is jerky and rough at times, it is still a Spoon albumand that’s exactly what we want: a raw nerve of indie music, jerking and twisting rambunctious songs through our speakers.

Great album – just remember to get your tetanus shot.

RANK: L

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Family Owned and Operated Since 1963

524 North McPherson Church Road 910.868.1185 • Fayetteville, NC 28303

FULL LINE SERVICE CENTER

3438 Black and Decker Road 910.425.8809 • Hope Mills, NC 28348

We are now authorized dealers for: WE CARRY Roland Marshall Korg Peavey Taylor Yamaha QCS Numark

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March 2010

Akai Alesis M-Audio ESP Schecter Eastman Pearl Ludwig

Tama Zildjian Fender Paul Reed Smith Conn-Selmer Ibanez BOSS Digitech

Sennheiser Shure Line 6 Warwick

AND MUCH MORE!

10. Thunderslam Monster Truck Spectacular

In today’s economic uncertainty – who wouldn’t want to pay to see a large truck smash a much smaller car? How about a whole row of cars? It’s like Morganton Rd. during rush hour, only safer.

Leave your dignity at the door and check out the Thunderslam Monster Truck Spectacular, March 12 – 13, at the Crown Coliseum. For more info call (910) 438-4100.

9. March Movie Releases

“Alice in Wonderland,” “Brooklyn’s Finest,” “Remember Me,” “Green Zone,” “Our Family Wedding,”“She’s Out of My League,” “The Exploding Girl,”“Oscilloscope Pictures,” “The Bounty Hunter,” “Hot Tub Time Machine,” “The Runaways,” “Ramona and Beezus,” “City Island,” “Last Night”“Hubble 3D (IMAX),” “How to Train Your Dragon,” “I Love You, Phillip Morris,” ”The Eclipse,” “Greenberg,” “All Good Things.”

8. “Jesus Christ Superstar”

Religion got boring to some, and out of that boredom came rock ‘n roll. Rock ‘n’ roll begat debauchery and debauchery begat guilt, and guilt gave us the rock ‘n roll musical, “Jesus Christ Superstar,” – which as it turns out, is kinda a guilty pleasure. Get your guilt on March 19. Call (910) 438-4100 for ticket information.

7. “The Wizard of Oz”

Coming to the Crown, March 23 – 24, “The Wizard of Oz” is a timeless classic – if you’ve already seen it, try watching the play while listening to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” … Trippy stuff. Call (910)-438-4100 for tickets.

of Oz, The Member of the Wedding, the Bible – books make great plays – so when can we expect to see The Da Vinci Code, the musical?

5. “Jimi Hendrix Tribute Tour”

Some of the world’s finest guitarists will be performing at the Durham Performing Arts Center, March 28, as part of the “The Jimi Hendrix Tribute Tour.” Among the artists playing will be Robert Randolph, Jonny Lang, Eric Johnson, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Ernie Isley, Brad Whitford of Aerosmith, Living Colour and Chris Layton of Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble. It’s like if your dad made a mix tape.

Tickets are $39 - $79. For more info, go to www. dpacnc.com.

4. Molten Glass

Starting March 13 the Fayetteville Museum Art will blow – glass, that is! … Yep, the FMOA are inviting you and yours to explore the intricate technical process of hand-blown glass art… Uh huh, hand blown… The glassblowing involves three furnaces, the first which contains a crucible of molten glass, and is simply referred to as “the furnace,” then there’s a furnace called the “lehr,” and finally a furnace called … the “glory hole.” …Seriously… We suspect this event was created by the devil in an effort to test us.

3. EDITOR’S PICK: A Little Light Music (Gilbert Theater fundraiser)

Ever pretend you’re Batman as a kid? Beating up criminals (your neighbor) and leaping from tall buildings (your doghouse)? Well, come March 6, the Gilbert Theater will give you the rare chance to revisit those days, only instead you’ll be playing Bruce Wayne, going to a fundraiser and 6. The Member of the Wedding The Cape Fear Regional Theater will be performing supporting the arts … Yeah, you won’t be fighting the stage adaptation of one of American any crime, but that doesn’t mean you can’t wear literature’s finest books, “The Member of the spandex under your suit … just in case.

MaxMuscle-CityViewAD.pdf 1 for 1/14/10 eventAM will feature a special benefit Wedding.” The play is a coming of age story a The 10:17 12-year-old girl living in the deep south … Wizard performance from some of the area’s finest

Things Going Down in Fayetteville theatrical talents. Tickets are $50 each (it’s a fundraiser, yo).

3.) 4th Friday

Every 4th Friday of the month Fayetteville’s downtown area comes to life with art, entertainment and possibly the most important element of any street fest’ – funnel cake.

2.) St. Patrick’s Day

In Ireland, St. Patrick’s Day is a religious holiday of great cultural and spiritual importance – here in the states it is an excuse to get drunk. Get the best of both worlds by starting your day off in Church, and then going down to the bar to drink until you’re blind - we don’t recommend this in reverse order.

1.

Methodist University Jazz Festival

Like a great jazz song, we’re just going to improvise this here description, okay kool Kats?

Zazzah faz!...Woop bop boop...and we’re done ...Check out all the booping and bopping at the Reeves Auditorium, March 20. Show is completely free. For more call (910)-6307100. Boop!

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March 2010

equinox Story by James Johnson Photos by Raul Rubiera Jr Acoustic rock artist Autumn Nicholas hit a wall last year - the figurative kind of wall that leaves you breathless and filled with self-doubt.

For many, this kind of wall can crush ambition, block creativity and force one into exile, for Nicholas - it was just another hurdle to climb.

At 20 years old, Nicholas has learned a lot about herself in the past four years of being a working artist in Fayetteville. Nicholas began raising eyebrows when she was first seen performing at local open mics, such as those found at The Coffee Scene. She stood out, and not just because of her fauxhawk or good looks - Nicholas had a visible passion, which could be heard in every note she played. Her sultry vocals and kinetic guitar work earned her a loyal following of supporters.

Nicholas is fairly open about her sexuality, which is in itself, very open, as she is a firm believer that gender and love are not things that necessarily go hand in hand. Her openness allowed her to meet someone whom to this day she deems as her eternal soul mate Courtney Chatelain. The two decided to make it official last year and had a wedding ceremony performed at The Rock Shop, which was documented for an as yet unaired MTV special.

Nicholas took a large step forward in her music career, by trying her hand in the musical lottery known as “American Idol.� Unfortunately, fame by way of Simon Cowell was not in the cards for Nicholas, who was one of the millions of artists turned away after auditions. Things

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didn’t get any better upon returning home, as Nicholas found herself without a steady job and facing a conflict within her personal life. In the interest of tastefulness, we won’t go into detail, suffice to say, this was the aforementioned wall.

“There are times like that in every musician’s life,” said Nicholas.

“It was something to learn from …”

Nic hol a s a nd C h at e l a i n’s relationship changed, but not necessarily for the worse says Nicholas, as the two remain very close. She

My mom and dad are the reason I’m here and have given me any gifts that I have. I love my family very much and they are honestly what drive me.

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March 2010

took the joblessness as an excuse to work extra hard on her music career, snagging herself regular gigs through the popularity of her dynamic sound.

“Yeah, it forced me to work extra hard. It was a make it or break it kinda thing,” Nicholas said. “Get out there and bust your butt if you can’t make it in retail.”

Perhaps Nicholas’ biggest change, and possibly her most challenging one, was her decision to enroll in college, where she hopes to pursue a degree in music business.

“I definitely want to think of this more as a business,” said Nicholas. “You should know what you’re getting into before someone gets something over your head.”

Nicholas credits her parents for helping give her the strength to continue and the encouragement to pursue her education. “Honestly I’ve always had a good relationship with them … and I thank God for that,” said Nicholas.

“Not everyone has the backbone. My mom and dad are the reason I’m here and have given me any gifts that I

have. I love my family very much and they are honestly what drive me.” It is that unconditional love which has always been a driving force for Nicholas through every challenge and figurative wall she’s come upon.

“That’s my biggest philosophy … love has no gender, no limits. Love who you love and love yourself… You must accept yourself as a person…

Acknowledge a person as a person, no matter how they look. If you want to be different, you have to be tough, or go home. Step through the door - and say hey.”

Currently Nicholas is writing her first official album, which she hopes to release later this year. One can catch Nicholas’ performance every Thursday night at Paddy’s Pub, on Raeford Rd.

910-677-0055 2606-B Raeford Road • Fayetteville NC 28304

www.paddygibneypub.com The Neighborhood Meeting Place

Live Music Weekly Paddy and Bill On Stage Thursday Through Saturday

Wednesday - 6 p.m. to 2 a.m.

Thursday to Saturday - 7 p.m. to 2 a.m.

Closed Sunday to Tuesday

Steel Tip Dart Competition Every Wednesday at 7 p.m.

Billiards Table • Craic Agus Ceol!

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After ending a thorny relationship with RCA records, Brooklyn-based troubadour Citizen Cope (aka Clarence Greenwood) started his own label, Rainwater Recordings. His first effort under this imprint, a collection of soulfully reposed ditties entitled “The Rainwater LP,” will be loosed upon store shelves on March 2 .

We recently caught up with the singer/ songwriter before his sold out Feb. 2 and 3 performances at the Cat’s Cradle in Carrboro and discussed his upcoming album and his new record company.

An Interview By Jaymie Baxley

FAYETTEVILLE FEED: Have your past turmoils with bigger labels informed your new music and if so, how?

CITIZEN COPE: Well, I don’t really look at them as turmoils. I made three records with major labels and they got me to where I am today. I just felt like I needed to take things into my own hands because of the shrinking number of people at these companies. They really can’t take the time out anymore so I decided to start my own company and I feel really good about it.

F.F.:Would you ever consider migrating back to a major label?

COPE: I don’t know. I want my company to grow as a really strong independent label. I would like to do all of my stuff through Rainwater Recordings in the future. There may be a situation where I do some distribution through major outlets but I really don’t see major labels making a come back.

F.F.: Has managing your own label been stressful?

COPE: No, It’s actually been a lot less stressful. It’s weird because, when you write music and play shows, there’s a level of that that’s very basic. You act on instinct. When you have ten or twenty people behind that you start to question your instincts. “No, it’s not a good idea, you should try this or try that.” I think sometimes you tend to throw away good ideas.

F.F: There are several political references scattered about the new album. Do you feel lit’s easier to communicate political messages in a relaxed way as opposed the more aggressive politicking most bands do?

COPE: It’s just conciseness, I don’t call it politicking. It’s just my opinion about what’s going on. There’s no intention of changing anyone’s minds. It’s just poetry, really.

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March 2010

F.F: What was the song writing process like for the new album?

COPE: Sitin’ back and writing with the guitar. It was pretty great. I recorded between studios in Brooklyn and Malibu. It was a good contrast to be on both sides of the west. It was good to have two different environments to record in.

F.F.: The RainWater LP is pretty atmospheric, where do you feel is the ideal place to listen to it?

COPE: Oh man…I don’t know. Listen to it loud. (laughs) F.F.: Your music has been used in several films and TV shows. Of these, which are you proudest to have your music

associated with?

to the new record?

COPE: I really liked the placement of “Hurricane Waters” in that film “Trouble In The Waters.” It was a documentary about hurricane Katrina.

I really like the placement and the emotional impact when my song came on in that.

COPE: I just want people to enjoy it and pass it along to their family and friends.

That would be the best.

F.F.: You have two upcoming shows at the Cat’s Cradle, have you played in North Carolina before? How was the experience?

COPE: Yeah, I’ve played there a bunch actually over the last five years. I’ve played Raleigh, Chapel Hill…I’ve played many places in the state.

F. F: How do you hope people will react

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23

Important Questions with Micheal Dees

By Jaymie Baxley

E

very month at the Fayetteville FEED, we abduct local artists and business owners, hold them at gun point and ask them the most important questions we can muster. This week we talk to artist Michael Dees.

Though thematically consistent, Dees' art tends to be wildly eclectic with some of his more notable works ranging from x-ray style portraits to pop art pastiches. His current gallery at Greg's Art, Potery and Gifts ( located at122 Maxwell Street, downtown) is comprised almost entirely of mixed media, assemblage pieces that recall macabre, otherworldly relics.

Dees will also be contributing to the Fayetteville Museum of Art's upcoming “Down the Rabbit Hole” exhibition, where

Requiem he, along with several other local artists whom are part of the "Feral Art Collective," will offer unique interpretations of the beloved children's book “Alice in Wonderland,” April 17 at 7 p.m.

We recently spoke to Dees about his current gallery, the “Rabbit Hole” show and his work in commercial design.

FAYETTEVILLE FEED.: Your assemblage pieces are very macabre and cerebral. Is this how they begin?

MICHAEL DEES.:A lot of it evolves as the pieces are being made. I like old stuff. Stuff that looks like it has history. As I combine all the pieces involved with those assemblages, I find new meanings. As a kid I would habitually plunder through my grandmas jewelry. I love antique shops and I love seeing things that people have discarded because they felt it wasn't important.

F.F.: Most of your recent output has been in the assemblage field. Do you find this format more interesting or would you consider your current fascination more of a phase?

Photo by Raul Rubiera Jr

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March 2010

M.D.: It's definitely been sort of a phase, though I don't foresee giving it up entirely. I enjoy searching for the parts to include in those pieces. I've haven't been painting lately because I just don't have the room.

The Cardinal

F.F.:Do you plan on returning to painting anytime soon?

M.D.:Yes I do. I miss painting. I've been coming up with ideas and sketches.

F.F.: You're involved with the upcoming Alice in Wonderland gallery. What do you feel is the best look for the beloved children's property?

M.D.:I prefer the dark and mysterious, sort of Victorian goth perspective.

That's what comes to mind when I think of the book. Not so much the cartoon, Disney style.

F.F.: Who would you consider influences on your work?

M.D.:Let's see...Kim Maria. Her imagery is very powerful and symbolic.

F.F.: You've done graphic design work for some businesses in the area. What are some key ingredients to successful branding?

M.D.:I do a lot of research online whenever I'm trying to come up with a design. I research the kind of images the target markets for the businesses I'm working with like. I try to get a feel for the community. Of course, It's important to collaborate with the client but I find research is pretty important too.

F.F.:Do you intend on opening any other galleries around town?

M.D.:I don't have any prospects and I'm not sure where I would go. I don't want to do another one in town because Greg's has been so good to me. I'd like to keep that relationship exclusive.

To ask about tickets for the "Alice in Wonderland" gallery at the Fayetteville Museum of Art, call (910)-485-5121.

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Rescue by Micheal Dees

By James Johnson Photos by Raul Rubiera Jr

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March 2010

People often ask us what exactly it takes it make it into our magazine – it’s hardly consistent, and frankly we like it that way...For the most part, we look for someone who is doing something unique, or has achieved an accomplishment, or who just happens to have a great story to tell...In the case of the pop rock duo The Clean Escape, well – they simply confused the hell out of us.

Don’t get me wrong, Josh (vocals, guitar and bass) and Jonny (drums, keyboards) are both impressive people, doing quality music who most definitely have a story to tell – but what caught our eye is that they appear to be the single most popular band in Fayetteville that no one in Fayetteville has ever heard of – they are essentially a studio band.

Being as they only have so many arms available to them, they haven’t been able to translate their music into a live show quite yet, so instead Josh and Jonny spend countless hours recording their music, and using the vastness of the Internet as their stage. At the moment of this writing, The Clean Escape has more than 38,000 friends on MySpace.

To put that into perspective, The Fifth, arguably the most popular band in the ‘Ville, have just over 10,000 friends, and the NC indie rock band Bombadil have just over 7,000 friends – here’s the kicker, both of those bands have been signed with record labels – maybe now you see where our confusion stems.

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“We’re a project – we can’t replicate what we’re doing live, not yet,” said Jonny. “The only real way we can give it to people is over the Internet – the whole MySpace thing – that is the main way we do that.”

Though the project is new, the Ray brothers have been doing this whole music thing for a while.

Eventually, both of them moved to Greenville to attend East Carolina University, but upon finishing felt compelled to return to their hometown of Fayetteville to pursue music.

“We just had more available to us in Fayetteville,” said Jonny. “We had a recording studio here as opposed to Greenville – plus, Greenville is kind of a club scene.

Fayetteville has more actual venues and musicians.”

Jonny may be the more talkative of the two. He’s a cool kid, with quite an impressive Jew fro, and something you don’t see in enough kids today: passion.

One favorite talking point of Jonny’s however, is his younger brother’s talent. Jonny is the first to point out that it is Josh who writes all the songs, and comes up with most of the instrumentation. Josh, Jonny feels, is the captain of this ship. Josh, is modest, and is quick to point out, that if he is the Captain, than Jonny is the one who keeps the ship’s engine running.

“He does the production work, he handles the Internet stuff, he takes the photographs,” Josh said thoughtfully. “ …Yeah.”

Currently the boys are combining those talents to create a new E.P., scrapping all of their earlier work.

The new songs have a heavier sound, and are lyrically more mature than any of the “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” stuff that many bands in their genre are now releasing.

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“On this upcoming album – a lot of the inspiration has come from me not knowing what to do with my life,” Josh explained. “I’m 20 years old, I just came back from college – I found the album was kind of helpful for instilling confidence … Everything’s going to be okay.”

The album is intended as an audition of sorts for a major record label, or any record label really. I wondered out loud why they cared about a label, with the resources provided to artists today, it is not only possible to be successful without a label, but in many cases, necessary, as many labels today won’t take a chance on a band that hasn’t already done all the grunt work by themselves.

“We like to do everything ourselves, but labels have a distribution power that we don’t. I can’t get our album across the world to just any Best Buy. We are doing everything online right now because we don’t have the man power,” said Josh. “I think a label would just treat us much better.” Josh and Jon seem to have a pretty strong sense of what a label is looking for. There is a purposeful attempt to write songs that are catchy, to appease the mainstream, while at the same time striving to not create fluff.

It’s a more difficult balancing act than some might think.

“We’re trying to balance the mainstream pop rock with lyrical value.

There just has to be something there besides ‘I love you,’ and ‘let’s go party and drink’ in our songs … At the same time, we’re young, and it is fun to play that sorta fun mainstream music …

- People have a misconception that writing catchy music is easy.”

For more information on The Clean Escape, check out their site at MySpace. com/TheCleanEscape– and while you’re there, go ahead and become a friend. You’ll be in good company.

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2533 Raeford Road, Suite C, Fayetteville, NC 28305 fayettevillefeed.com

31

On The Wire With

s by Raul Rubiera Jr

by Jaymie Baxley | Photo

ng woman Mama ro st n w no re ld or w , as ns Born and reared in Ka while training to a up ed ef be ) rg be nd Li ey Lou (real name: Lins become an acrobat. re. I knew I wanted ltu cu us rc ci ith w ed at in “As a kid I was fasc out performing d te ar st I . ay w e m so in to be involved with it g that I fell in love in do as w I le hi w d an n professionally as a clow coolest ever. I convinced e th e er w ey th t gh ou th with aerialists. I rsuing that,� said pu d te ar st I en th d an s one to show me the rope Lou discovered that she a am M t, ba ro ac an as g Lou. While travelin d dividing whole an ils na g tin or nt co r fo had developed a knack telephone books.

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March 2010

fayettevillefeed.com

33

“My arms got crazy strong. You know, acrobats are some of the strongest people in the world. They are stronger than most fighters and body builders.

My background in acrobatics enabled me to morph into a ’strong woman.’”

Said Lou. “I was on my way to Canada to do acrobatic training in Montreal and on the way I got acquainted with some buskers (street performers) there and I thought ‘wow, that’s a great way to make money on the side!’ So I did my thing and I cooked up this strong woman persona to protect my hard earned money from potential ally thieves. It ended up being the best accident that ever happened to me.”

And so Mama Lou decided to restructure her career into something better suited to her recently acquired strength and accidental image: Bearded strong woman (sans beard).

It wasn’t long before the bewitching behemoth stumbled into international notoriety by preforming her outrageous feats of strength before audiences around the world through circus contracting.

“I got to visit so many exotic locales.

Tasmania, that was pretty awesome and amazing. New Zealand had some of the kindest, sweetest people I’d ever met,” said Lou. “I did these big shows in Fiji. Every night during the show an announcer would address the audience and say ‘Is there anyone out there who thinks they are brave enough to kiss Mama Lou on the cheek?!’ and the audience, usually consisting of mostly men would snicker and act like it was sort of scandalous and eventually one would step up and move in to kiss my cheek and I would turn around and kiss them on the lips. It was a running gag. Anyway, one night this real big guy comes up and I do the usual routine and he squeals and runs off the stage, through the stadium and out the gate. It was like a cartoon.”

Lou eventually wound up in Fayetteville to be with her husband, a soldier stationed at Fort Bragg. Upon arriving, the strong woman was seriously underwhelmed by the city’s nightly entertainment offerings. “When I got

34

March 2010

under the tent, Mama Lou is now passing the torch to a new generation by giving acrobatic demonstrations and lessons at The Climbing Place (located at 436 W. Russell St. ).

“I will kick people’s butts during these lessons but I’ll do it with a smile on my face,” said Lou. “It’s super hard but you walk away realizing you can do things you weren’t capable of doing.”

While most imaginative young girls inevitably abandon their fantasy occupations in the doll house and settle for more socially acceptable careers in adulthood, Mama Lou has stood by her childhood ambitions. “I often ask myself if 13-year-old me would think I’m cool and I think ‘yeah, I think 13-year-old me would give me a high five.’”

here there was absolutely nothing going on,” recalled Lou “I remember thumbing through the weekend rundown in the paper and making fun of it.”

The strong woman decided to take matters into her own brutish hands by organizing a series of weekly cabaret themed variety shows at the now defunct Keys dueling piano bar (formally downtown). Her shows at The Keys featured a slew of eccentric, mostly local, performance artists that Lou had discovered - varying from fire breathers to belly dancers, mentalists to rappers.

“There was this guy we had named Mad Martin.” said Lou “He dressed like a homeless person and quoted

Jabberwokey’s in old Elizabethan slang for about 15 minutes. The audience was totally entranced. It was like ‘What the **** just happened?!?’ ‘I don’t know, it was weird!’ Those shows gave people something to talk about at work the next morning.”

Though a hit in the community, legal troubles and artistic conflicts at The Keys created scheduling inconsistencies which Mama Lou felt compromised her show’s integrity. She decided to shelf her variety act in order to reconnect with one of her earliest passions : Aerial arts.

Not unlike the seasoned aerialists that she studied during her early career

fayettevillefeed.com

35

Artist Sir Ben Marx’s new effort is truly a labor of love.

36

March 2010

By James Johnson | Photos by Raul Rubiera Jr Abstractions of Ben is the fifth album in Fayetteville-born progressive hiphop/punk/rock artist Sir Ben Marx’s (aka Marc Benjamin, or SBX) discography and could very well be his most personal outing to date, due to his being involved in every aspect of the L.P.’s writing and production process, and the heavy inspiration gained from the singer’s family. In fact, one could easily make the case that if it weren’t for Sir Ben’s kin, the album may never have been made to begin with.

“Initially,” explained Marx, who is the youngest of eight children, “I thought I’d just record some songs in my brother’s new studio (1140 Studio, off of Bragg Blvd.) to give people an idea of the sound there - but the songs actually turned out pretty good, so one day my brother says ‘you should make this a full album.’”

In fact, Marx’s entire trajectory into music was in large part due to his family. A few years ago, tragedy struck when Marx’s brother Emiaj was killed in a drowning accident which effectively shook Marx to his core, reminding him how fleeting life actually was - and inspiring him to do as his brother had always encouraged him to do, seriously pursue his music.

“I actually got the album’s name, Abstractions of Ben, from my deceased brother,” said Marx. “He was a writer...he was the one who gave me the title of ‘sir.’ In his book, he used to describe my art and music as - he’d say, ‘in the instance of the moment is the spontaneous impulse the sun, moons, stars, planets, comets, asteroids and meteoroids attend and host this event shifting it’s propensity and what have we are the abstractions of Ben …’”

Marx said that he felt the title was suited for this particular album as each song was “abstract” from one another, with the only thing tying them together being that they are written and performed by him.

“This album is fun, it is serious, it is political...You can dance to it. It is soulful but you’ve got a little rock, a little punk, a little hip hop...Every song could fit into a different genre,” said Marx.

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This will likely be the last album Marx mixes by himself for a while, who though admittedly is happy with the results, felt his tendency to over analyze and nitpick his own work slowed the album’s development and caused him undue stress. Most weeks, Marx said, he’d simply sleep in the studio, then wake up the following day and continue toiling away.

“Usually someone else mixes my vocals - I have an outsider’s opinion to work with...This was much harder,” Marx noted. “I don’t mind doing my own mixing but I prefer when other people mix my vocals because I take too long doing it myself. I spend crazy hours doing that.”

With the album having dropped this month, Marx is now setting up for a promotional tour, release party and a few music videos with local filmmaker Tony Murnahan. Though the details on all of these plans remain unclear, what is almost certain is that followers of Marx’s music won’t have to wait long.

“I don’t like waiting...Even my management calls me a busybody, but yeah - but this is what keeps me happy. What makes me unhappy is not creating and waiting - I don’t like to wait for inspiration. I feel inspired every day, every hour of every second,” Marx said. “I can’t grow unless I put something out there.”

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39

Mass Effect 2 A Must Own

Game review by D’Juan Irvin Screenshots: EA Before you read any further, let’s get one thing straight: “Mass Effect 2” is a must-own title.

For those unfamiliar with the first “Mass Effect,” the game is essentially a sci-fi action RPG, wherein you play a personalized version of the main protagonist, Captain Shepard. You choose Shepard’s gender, background, skills and appearance, as well as the choices he makes throughout the story.

You’ll start off “Mass Effect 2” on board the Normandy, two years after the events of “Mass Effect,” where you come in contact with a new race of beings called the Collectors. Fecal matter hits the fan, stuff gets blown up. You find yourself waking up from a coma in a facility controlled by a terrorist group from the first game called Cerberus.

Apparently Cerberus has invested millions of dollars and two years of medical research into bringing you back from the dead, which kind of means you owe them a solid … Awkward.

Without giving away any of the plot, I can tell you that the vast majority of the choices that you made in the first “Mass Effect,” assuming you have a save on your hard drive, affect just about everything in the second one. Before seeing any action, you can import your “Mass Effect 1” save and retain not only your character’s face and name, but all the choices you made. You’ll receive messages, pick up new missions and affect many character arcs based on your previous actions.

Just about everything about “Mass Effect 1” has been enhanced in “Mass Effect 2,” and most prominent of these features is the combat. Battles feel far more substantial than in the first game.

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March 2010

Weapons fire faster and the recoil feels better overall. There are more weapon types than before, and depending on your class you’ll only be allowed to equip weapons your character is proficient with.

The Paragon (good guy) and Renegade (douchebag) choices during dialogue have also been upgraded.

Your responses during conversation are stronger and the newest feature is the ability to act on either Paragon or Renegade actions during cut-scenes, adding another level of depth or your character. For instance, you could use a Paragon action to stop a party member from shooting a vital character.

Conversely, you could use a Renegade action to shoot the character yourself.

Graphically, the engine has been given a nice boost, and you can see it in the faces of other characters and the environment and even in the quality of the audio.

“Mass Effect 2”s story, while the

main attraction, isn’t even the most impressive part of this package. When you consider how much your actions from “Mass Effect 1” carry over into this game, the potential of how your actions here will affect “Mass Effect 3” become all that much more prominent.

It’s the very best type of choose-yourown adventure gaming.

Bioware has crafted what is likely the best and most overarching story in gaming. The amazing story, great combat, fully-voiced and interactive conversations, and replay value all combine to make “Mass Effect 2” the most solid Game of the Year candidate of 2010, and we’re only in March.

D’Juan Irvin is the owner and EditorIn-Chief of GAMINGtruth.com, where he and his staff write regularly about gaming and the gaming industry.

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41

The Unnamed Book review by Tasina N. Ducheneaux Meet Tim. Tim walks.

That’s pretty much the gist of it.

Tim is a successful, middle-aged, New York lawyer with the requisite beautiful wife (though with a fat daughter – gasp). But every once in a while, Tim is compelled to walk. He cannot control it and he cannot stop it. No one knows why it happens. He has been to doctors, psychiatrists, herbalists, nutritionists, and every other kind of healer known to man.

He has been written up in a prestigious journal. No one knows if it is a physical or mental problem. Tim just walks.

The story starts off fairly interesting and unique. Compulsive walking...not something you see every day. Tim’s wife is as supportive of this oddity as one could possibly be. She picks him up at all hours of the night after he has passed out in strange places. She tries to make sure he is dressed warmly. She packs a bag and GPS for him. She is great.

Tim’s daughter is less thrilled with her dad’s weirdness, but she is an angsty, overweight teenager who doesn’t get much treatment in the story until the end.

The first half of the book pretty much had me hooked. I, like Tim and his family, wanted to know why he had to walk and if any answers would ever be found. We learn about the odd life the whole family lives when Tim’s walking fits come over him. We watch as Tim valiantly tries to function at his job and hang on to anything resembling normalcy. We learn that drugs, handcuffs, and treadmills don’t work for him.

Any family that has had to cope with a terrible illness, or a family member with special needs, or help someone recuperate from an accident will likely find many parallels to their lives in this story. What Tim is going

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March 2010

through is terrible and difficult, but his family tries to help as best they can and enjoy their lives where they can. His wife has moments of wanting to run away and start a new life without Tim’s never-ending problems. But she feels

Bird 1: Caw, caw! Look out! Text! Bird 2: Oh God! I can’t stop! Bird 3: Curse you, Joshua Ferris!!

guilty about these thoughts and stays ever loyal.

Ultimately, I found the ending of the book to be something of a disappointment. The story veers off into this long narrative about the things Tim goes through on his massive walk – physical hardship, mental anxiety, spiritual questioning, etc. We also see his wife trying to cope and his daughter just basically grow up and go away. (She stays fat and learns to accept it. I’m not sure why the author keeps reminding us of this fat girl. The author himself seems unable to accept her though she seems to wind up fairly normal, happy, and stable.)

I suppose that there are some deep and esoteric undertones to this novel. Tim is walking away from the basic dissatisfaction of the typical allAmerican, suburban dream – though he does seem to really love his wife and always found the fat girl to be beautiful.

He also seems to really enjoy his work and he is good at it – when he can stay seated. Or maybe we as a society have become chained to our work and lattes and computers and Tim is the modernday Bartleby who just prefers to walk away from it all. I’m not really sure.

(The “real” critics fawning over the story on the book jacket seem to see the novel in this light – bully for them, I say.)

When the story strayed off into this territory, I got kind of bored with it all. At a few points Tim contemplates suicide. I didn’t really want to kill Tim, but found myself hoping for a paralysis or freakish double-amputation. I think this is mostly the kind of story that will appeal to people who snap for applause after poetry readings and find deep meaning in artists who literally vomit on their canvasses. If you are one of those people, by all means run right out and buy this book and dissect it endlessly with your beret-clad friends.

For everyone else, I reluctantly award this book three half-hearted stars.

L★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Only read this if you have a lot of time to kill - like on a transatlantic flight.

Tasina likes to read. Tasina is also quite critical. She can be reached at tducheneaux@fayettevillefeed.com.

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The Vice

Paddy’s guide to:

St. Patrick’s Day

by Charlee Sairrino n who is a few years I’ve been dating a ma kinda married. Well he’s older than me and he’s t he still supports his technically separated, bu live together now and ex-wife and their kids. We t he will be divorced even though I know tha nk that maybe he still soon, I can’t help but thi When we go out, he has wants to be with his ex. he always introduces to meet me places and are more than that. I me as his friend when we phone or his My Space haven’t been through his t it, he says he doesn’t yet. When I ask him abou el our relationship and think that we should lab that being a husband. that he had enough of What am I missing ?

Apparently you are missing part of your brain - or all of it - along with any respect you have for yourself. Let me also point this out for you: until the dude signs those divorce papers, he’s technically still married to his wife and the kids are the glue that will bind them together forever in parenthood (if not in marriage). But I’m pretty sure that it’s not his wife you have to worry about here. It’s his wandering eye and I’m also sure his age has nothing to do with it.

Your man just got out of a marriage, he’s not really looking to settle down again and definitely not so soon. He doesn’t believe in labels because they ruin the chance of meeting a girl he wouldn’t mind calling his girlfriend. Just rest assured, it won’t be you. You are mainly the means for him to get back on his feet. He has a place to stay and a girl to take care of him during this financially taxing, emotionally frustrating and sexually needy time in his life. If it means anything, when he introduces you to his friends as his ‘friend,’ they already know the deal.

Hey, at least he’s bringing you around them! If you look at it that way, it’s a win.

Obviously, you weren’t aware of the raw deal you were getting, so I’ll give you a bonus tip. More often than not, when you hear a guy is separated or just recently single, it means he is in a state of emotional unavailability. That’s like a stop sign for a chick who wants a boyfriend. This guy neither wants or is able to give you what you need in relationship and will only focus on what he needs, and what he needs is whatever you will give him as long as you don’t ask for anything in return. So, do yourself a favor: don’t bother snooping in his stuff (you will just get your feelings hurt) and let him go. I’m sure there is someone out there who will tattoo your name on their body.

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March 2010

by Paddy Gibney

I am, of course, an Irishman (I am also a proud U.S. citizen so you can release your daughters; I’m not looking for a green-card), and as such I felt it necessary to address a few myths regarding St. Patrick’s day, which have somehow been accepted as truths when in actual fact they are mostly just shite (pronounced “shy-ite).

1.) It’s “St. Paddy’s Day” not “Patty’s.”

2.) Corned beef and cabbage is a rather obscure Irish dish and comes from the days of the mighty English leaving the crappiest cuts of meat and parts of animals to the indigenous Irish. I think of it as Irish chitlins. The cabbage part is true though. Modern day Ireland is now thoroughly Americanized with Chinese takeaways and delivered pizzas so, the traditional Sunday dinner is certainly dying.

3.) Up until recent years, all pubs were closed on Paddy’s Day. It’s a religious holiday. People go to Mass and wear a clump of shamrock on their shirts. Incidentally, St. Pat used this herb to explain the concept of the Holy Trinity to the pagan Irish to illustrate how the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit could all exist as separate elements of the same entity. There is no such thing as a four leaf clover! Also, St. Pat’s Day has always been a big day for Gaelic games, most notably in Croke Park, Dublin where Gaelic football and hurling are still hugely popular.

4.) Not necessarily associated with the holiday, but important none the less: Killian’s Irish Red is not Irish beer. It’s brewed by Coors in Denver, Colorado.

5.) Patrick’s origin is not known for sure. It is believed he came from modern day England or Wales however, that area was occupied by Celts and Britons in the fifth century so he was most likely a Celtic Briton … what is known, however, is that he never drove any snakes out of Ireland, as Ireland has never had any snakes to drive away!

6.) The color most associated with St. Pat was blue, the color of the old Irish flag.

7.) The luck of the Irish! What sort of luck is it that brings 1,000 years of invasion, colonization, exploitation and starvation? That term is definitely American, and I’m probably a good example of it.

8.) Irishmen do not have strange looking penises! The strange addition is called foreskin and all men are born with it.

Paddy Gibney is the owner of Paddy’s Pub and can be found there reveling and singing most any evening. He can be contacted at www. paddygibney.com.

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Travell in’ thro ugh tim e, fighti but mo n’ crime re nudit ! Like S y and g ally Fo risly vi rth... olence !

words a n d ar t by ia n m actavish

Let’s do this.

Are you sure? You may never see her again.

It’s what I signed on for isn’t it? truth, justice, the american way?

Then let’s do this!

Yep. It certainly is.

Das Tier ist locker!

Halten Sie auf!

Halten Sie auf!

Funny how that happens.

I won’t miss...

They missed.

Barbara!!!

46

March 2010

Next month... an arguement breaks out!

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48

March 2010

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49

50

March 2010

fayettevillefeed.com

51

Cutting the Cake Forty or so pages back, James started our second issue with a tender ode to one of the coolest people I’ve ever had the great fortune of considering a friend. I, on the other hand, don’t care about other people as much as I care about myself so I’ve decided to dedicate this issue’s final scene to me, or more specifically, my birthday. On the 20th of this month I will no longer have to pay homeless people to buy me alcohol, as I will have blossomed into a gorgeous 21-year-old young man. Now, I know you’re currently working multiple jobs to pay for all the lavish, jewel encrusted gifts you intend on getting me. Why don’t you allow me to consolidate a small portion of that stress by telling you what I really want? It’s the least I can do.

realize she’s missing. While embargoing the Oscar nominee back to Fayetteville be gentle as a damaged Hathaway is no good to me.

Finally, remember to wrap her in something inconspicuous and non-human shaped so my girlfriend doesn’t suspect anything.

A Pulitzer Really, any sort of bronze colored accolade would suffice. Tony’s, Oscar’s, Grammy’s, Golden Globes....They all would look absolutely darling lining the mantle above my fireplace. We’ll just have to make sure Kanye West isn’t around when you give it to me.

Happy hunting and we’ll see you next month.

A Mogwai Shortly after his father surprised him with a pet Mogwai in the 1984 film “Gremlins,” Billy Peltzer broke the three cardinal rules of caring for the animal. His absentmindedness ultimately resulted in city-wide hysteria. I intend to avoid such unsavory ramifications by forcing my Mogwai to constantly wear a sporty raincoat/sunglasses ensemble. This will eliminate the risk of it being exposed to water or bright lights while making it look hilarious.

As for feeding the creature after midnight, well, I’ll just make sure it’s wearing an inhumanly tight muzzle before I go to bed (You know, this rule has always bothered me as it seems unlikely that Gremlins understand how time zones work and the exact point after midnight when it’s safe for them to resume eating is never defined).

Anne Hathaway This one’s going to be a little difficult to pull off so I’ll supply you with a few helpful pointers. First off, invest in a grappling gun or a pair of spring-loaded boots to scale the fences surrounding the starlet’s estate. Upon capture, replace her with a card board standee or mannequin so her bodyguards don’t

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February 2010

Photo: Albert Stichka

Head correspondent Jaymie Baxley’s articles and essays have appeared in the Fayetteville Observer, Smartnews NC, the Hope Mills Sandspur and other fine smelling publications across the area. When he’s not scrambling to meet his weekly deadlines for the FEED, the Hope Mills native is the primary writer for the Apple news blog, Applefoc.us. Jaymie can be reached at Jbaxley@fayettevillefeed.com or (910) 624-7043.

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