the
magazine
ISSUE 4 // CARE November 2012 // 1
OUR MISSION
To produce and release spiritual leaders who know and express the authentic Christ to Northwest Arkansas and the world.
OUR VISION
To change the heart and soul of Northwest Arkansas and the world.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS CONTRIBUTORS
Mission/Vision Table of Contents/Contributors 1 Chronicles 16:9 Jake Phillips James & Kimberly Crumby Pursuing Oneness Hope in Him/Cancer Posse Kent & Terrie Tomlinson Kristi Wright Wise Generosity The Village Pathway to Freedom Ministry SALT Article by Rodney Holmstrom Homerun Divorce Care BiLD
LAYOUT DESIGN Ashley Cox
DESIGNERS Arrin Black Ashley Cox
VIDEO PRODUCTION Kyle Kleber
PHOTOGRAPHERS Ashley Cox Kiara Goodwin Lorinda Gray
EDITOR
Debbie Griffin
COPY EDITORS Beth Davies Kiara Goodwin
3 4 5 6-11 12-15 16-19 20-23 24-27 28-31 32 33 34-35 36-37 38 39 40 41
WRITERS
Rachel Cox Steve Cox Kiara Goodwin Lorinda Gray David Henderson Rodney Holmstrom Sheryl Potter Lamar Steiger
The thread is produced by volunteer writers and photographers and the Fellowship Communication team. If you would like to volunteer or have comments contact commteam@fellowshipnwa.org
NOTE * Available to read on the iPad... However, interactive links are not accessible. November 2012 // 3
“Sing to Him, sing praise to H 4 // November 2012
Him; tell of all His wonderful acts.� 1 Chronicles 16:9 November 2012 // 5
“Lean on me...”
JAKE PHILLIPS By Sheryl Potter
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As Jake Phillips neared retirement in 1991, he gave his wife Carol an important assignment: to find the couple a home on Beaver Lake. The University of Arkansas professor envisioned the coming years filled with fishing, playing tennis, and relaxing by the water. To be certain, he had earned the right to slow down a little. During his 30 years as an entomology professor and researcher, Dr. Phillips helped pioneer new methods of pest management and the eradication of boll weevils. His work had a major impact on farmers throughout the Cotton Belt, and he was often invited to speak to groups around the country. Three months of leisure was all he could stand, Carol Phillips remembers. “Jake came to me one day and said he really needed something else to do.” The couple had been attending Fellowship Bible Church for several years, and he approached Robert Cupp, whom he had befriended many years earlier when Cupp was their son’s youth pastor at a Fayetteville church. “Maybe Robert can use me for something,” Carol remembers her husband saying. “He couldn’t stand the thought of wasting his retirement years.” He first joined Fellowship’s Stephen Ministry. After completing the required 40 hours of training to become a Christian caregiver, Phillips found great joy in visiting the sick in hospitals or in their homes. Several years later, he went on to complete additional training as a hospital chaplain at Washington Regional Medical Center. Phillips then saw a need in the church for seniors to have an organized group and was instrumental in starting PrimeTime, a ministry for adults over 60. Later, he would recognize a need for additional people to offer premarital counseling and began meeting with young couples to help them build marriages on Biblical principles. “Robert Cupp was always very supportive of Jake,” Carol reflected recently. “He probably held his breath every time Jake walked into his office with a new idea, but he always gave Jake his blessing and was a great mentor over the years.” Through Dr. Phillips’ efforts, a Celebrate Recovery group was started at Fellowship. This Christ-centered recovery program has helped thousands of people in Northwest Arkansas and the surrounding area find hope and healing.
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Jake Phillips and Carol Diffee grew up together in eastern Arkansas in the 1930s. The two were schoolmates, and Carol remembers Jake as a caring young man who was very attentive to the needs of those around him. “Everyone in Newport knew everyone else, and Jake had a reputation in town as the guy who would always be there to help.” The two began dating when he was a high school junior and she was a freshman. She recalls several phone calls before dates letting her know he would be late because Jake was giving someone a ride or helping them change a tire. “He was the nicest guy I ever knew,” Carol said of her husband, and laughed as she reminisced about telling a girlfriend long before she had her first date with Jake that one day the two of them would marry. Her prediction came true in February 1952. In an autobiography entitled “My Life: Its Peaks and Valleys,” Jake Phillips wrote about his tumultuous childhood, years that were marked by the Great Depression, his parents’ divorce and remarriage, and being raised by his grandparents. World War II began when he was a young teen, and around that time, he had a life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. “For awhile, life took a whole new dimension for me. I could see purpose again and beauty in the world,” he wrote. Disaster struck in the form of a church leader who was cruel to the young people in his congregation and for awhile, Jake existed in what he called “the borderlands of Christianity”. His journey back to a place of genuine faith and trust helped shape his later compassion for the sufferings of other believers and his unwavering commitment to helping them in their time of need. Cupp remembers Phillips’ tenacity in pushing forward his goal for a care ministry. “Caring for people really touched a chord in Jake,” Cupp said. “He had a heartfelt concern for people and a belief that there are times in people’s lives when they need special care.” His availability as a retiree combined with what Cupp called, “his passion and heart,” led the Fellowship elders to bring Phillips onto the ministry staff. He was ordained to ministry in 1997 as Pastor of Care Ministries. What was supposed to be a part-time position became a full-time endeavor for Phillips. He poured his heart into not only providing care for those in need but training others who wanted to do the same. The only compensation he would ever accept from the church was a small stipend to cover ministry-related expenses. He continued working tirelessly until a diagnosis of esophageal cancer late in 2005 forced him to quit. He died four months later on April 25, 2006.
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Terry Little joined Phillips in 2002 and professional counseling services were made available through the care ministry. Little, who now serves as Director of Care Ministries, spoke recently of the groundwork Phillips laid. “Jake was waving the care banner from the very beginning. Because of Jake laying a good foundation, today we have Celebrate Recovery, grief support, a counseling ministry, and all these other avenues through which we can reach out and help care for those who have hurts and needs.” When the elders decided the year following Phillips’ death to move the care ministry to the brick house on the southwest corner of the Fellowship campus, Cupp said it was only fitting that they name the structure after the man whose vision led to the ministry.
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“We really needed a place set apart from the other church offices where a person wanting pastoral care or counseling could go and not be embarrassed about whom they might bump into. The elders determined that we could remodel that house into a wonderful care clinic. Who better to name the ministry and the building after than the man who was at the foundation of it and who was the heart and soul of it from the very beginning? It became and is today the Phillips Care Center,” said Cupp. The building is used for not only counseling sessions but also as the site for many Celebrate Recovery step study groups, Divorce Care groups, and leader training. Cupp said whenever he is at the church very early in the morning or late in the evening, it is not uncommon for him to see cars coming and going from the Care Center. “This facility, like all of our other buildings, is being utilized constantly.” Carol Phillips says her husband was a humble man who never sought credit for his accomplishments and would never have wanted anything in return for his services but the satisfaction of knowing he had made life better for someone. When he retired from the UA, he received “dozens and dozens” of letters from colleagues and former students. “He never would read them,” his widow commented.“’They might make me think more of myself than I really am,” he would say. 10 // November 2012
Always wanting to grow in his ministry skills, Phillips took several online theology courses in his later years. In a paper for one class entitled “A Theology of Pastoral Care,” Phillips wrote, “The Holy Spirit working in me does not produce wonderful experiences that make people say ‘what a wonderful life that person lives.’ The Holy Spirit working in me makes me a passionate, devoted, absorbed lover of Jesus Christ – and therefore a lover of people. The Christian life is never do, do, but be and I will do through you.” In his autobiography, Phillips elaborated more on the work of God in his life through the ministry of care, writing “I tell people that I have found significance like I have never known before. At last there is true meaning in my life.” Cupp said Phillips thanked him often for the opportunities he was given at Fellowship. ”He told me he had more enthusiasm, joy, excitement, and fulfillment in doing what he did for the Lord under the umbrella of care ministries than he had doing anything else in his life. Coming from Jake Phillips – a man of so many accomplishments – that was an incredible compliment.” Cupp and Little both agree that it is gratifying to see the numbers of people served through the care ministry. According to Little, it is not uncommon for the Care Center to receive 30-40 calls each week for people in need of counseling or related Care Ministry resources. Between counseling sessions and step study groups, various support groups and leader training, more than 100 people a week pass through the doors of the center. Fellowship continues to strengthen it’s relationship with the JBU counseling program through counseling interns on site at the Care Center. An expansion this past year added more office space, providing the opportunity to have additional JBU interns. Beginning in January, the Care Center will also be an off campus site for one of the JBU practicum classes for their counseling students. “The Phillips Care Center is a great tribute to the influence of a man who cast a big shadow over Fellowship Bible,” Cupp said. “I have wistful moments when I wish that Jake were alive to see the fruit of all his good efforts.”
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Grief Shared is
Grief Diminished... Released Leaders: James and Kimberly Crumby
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On a regular ordinary September day, Kimberly and James Crumby noticed that their very active little girl, Hannah Grace, began to run a low grade fever. Two days later the fever was still there, so like any other parent they decided to get it checked out thinking it would be an ear infection or maybe the flu. What happened next will forever be one of the most difficult things they would ever hear. A simple blood test ran by her pediatrician detected that something was very wrong, and a few hours later the family was told that Hannah needed to go to Arkansas Children’s Hospital.
The diagnosis…leukemia. In the weeks to come, it was revealed that Hannah would need chemotherapy and many other procedures and at one point, Hannah made it into remission. Kimberly and James were told they could bring their daughter home, their Warrior Princess. Their plan was to just go weekly for chemotherapy, however after the first weekend home there were some major setbacks. It was later realized that Hannah had suffered a stroke while being at Children’s and that weekend was the last time little Hannah got to be at home. Over the course of the next two and a half months, Hannah’s body was taken over by infection and more swelling occurred on her brain which developed into other serious conditions. With every hurdle, Hannah fought hard to work through it and kept beating the odds. But with every positive progression, a major problem awaited. In December 2009, Hannah suffered a more serious stroke on her brain stem and was put on life support. On December 9th, sweet Hannah Grace went to be with the Lord just two and a half months after her diagnosis.
The drive home without her was the hardest drive they would ever make. “You are numb, even when you know it is going to happen, you still cannot be prepared for that moment. I think God has a way of making your brain and body work where we are just sort of numb for a while until you get to a point where you can kind of deal with it. Coming into the house for the first time was awful and I think we both wanted to sell the house immediately, but I am so glad we didn’t,” Kimberly said. Over the course of the next few weeks, Kimberly and James both began to deal with the loss of Hannah differently. For Kimberly, this began a time of questioning why and how this could happen. “We were a family of four when we left our home a few weeks ago and now, we are coming home as a family of three. It took me a long, long time to get used to this new normal… I was not really angry with God, I just could not understand or wrap my mind around what had happened.” For James, the emotion of anger became overwhelming, “I was quite angry because I felt we had done all the right things, we went to church, we were good people… I asked a lot of questions and I was not getting the answers I needed. I was very angry for a while, but you come to a point that you don’t want
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the anger to control your life. You finally have to get to the point where you just have to lay it down at the feet of Jesus and say God, ‘I don’t know why, but maybe someday I will. Thank You for giving me the four years I did have with her.”’ Friends and family loved on them through prayers, cards, meals, and encouraging words through their Caringbridge site. “Obviously God knew this was coming, and He provided us with a support system that we needed,” Kimberly said.
Grief shared is grief diminished In February of 2010, Kimberly attended a Grief Share support group at Fellowship. She had remembered that a friend attended the year before, so she took a bold step in joining a group along with her mother. James was not quite ready to do this yet, but the next spring, Kimberly went back through the grief support group with James. “It helped me work through a lot of questions and a lot of understanding that I was normal. When you are in grief, you don’t feel normal. I was no longer alone in feeling the way I did,” Kimberly said. James had a very difficult time opening up and confided in Terry Little, Director of Care Ministry at Fellowship, that he needed encouragement to be asked to share in the group because it was not his nature to willingly volunteer his emotions. When Terry began asking James, he was finally able to open up in the group and that is when the healing process truly began for him.
“Grief share has been invaluable to us and the healing we have been able to come to through God. It keeps turning you to God and to His word even when your emotions want to turn you away,” Kimberly said.
From hurt to healing… A call to leadership In summer 2011, Kimberly was in a class led by Jan Stockdale, “Interrupted Expectations.” She mentioned to one of the leaders that night that she had been feeling that God has been calling her to use this as a ministry but did not know how. The leadership team had been praying for more leaders and had specifically been praying about Kimberly leading. She soon joined the Grief Share Leadership Team at Fellowship. James and Kimberly felt led to explore other churches in the area as their church home and were led to First Baptist in Rogers. After several months of attending, Kimberly asked the pastor if they had any sort of grief programs. The church staff realized that this was a huge need among their congregation and asked Kimberly to lead the ministry. “I was able to see why God sent us there, and we just started our first group back in September… Fellowship continues to be a huge support and vital role for me. It was sad leaving Fellowship, but it makes sense now. Fellowship’s motto of teach and release really hit home for me because I am now a 14 // November 2012
released leader for another church who may not have had this ministry otherwise,” Kimberly said. “We are living proof that you can make it through the worst thing in life and you can
come out of it with healing and joy intact and still feel like you have a purpose in life. If you are willing to do your part and let God do His part, you can make it.”
To watch the Crumby’s testimony click here
By Rachel Cox
About Grief Support: Grief is not an enemy or a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being human. It is the cost of loving someone. It is inevitable that during a loss we would be very deeply impacted, shocked or wounded. Grief is the manner, or process, in which we work through loss. The goal in the grieving process is to re-organize our emotions to cope with loss and to re-establish healthy relationships. This is also the goal of a grief recovery and support group. Grief support groups are here to help people as they grieve the loss of a family member or friend. Grief support groups begin in February, 2013. Contact Jan Stockdale for information at jastockdale@fellowshipnwa.org or 479-659-3632.
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Photo by Brooke Robinson
One of life’s great adventures was also one of man’s first: marriage. Marriage is a love story told over a lifetime, but its rich depths do not end there. A Christ-centered marriage is an opportunity for growth, a tool for sanctification, a ministry, a chance to both honor God and reflect His glory. A journey. Marriage is important to God. Relationships in general are important, but God singles out marriage as particularly special because He designed it to reflect His relationship with us. Amos 3:3 asks an important question; Do two people walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Fellowship believes that marriage requires intentionality to live it out in a manner that is aligned with what God intended for it to be. Therefore, the church believes that premarital counseling is a key ingredient in helping couples move in a shared direction. Premarital counseling at Fellowship has evolved over the years. “It started out with just the pastors doing the counseling,” Amy Soderquist, one of Fellowship’s licensed counselors remembers, “and then, it evolved into a table talk format where that was more of a workshop/ marriage mentor situation where marriage mentors did the counseling.” Currently, premarital counseling comes in many forms with the goal to help strengthen marriages while also working with the couples schedules. Soderquist says, “Our preferred route is a combination of workshop and 3-4 personal counseling sessions for the couple. However, many couples still choose the traditional route of 6-8 one hour sessions with one of the Care Ministries counselors, Fellowship Pastors, or a combination of the two.” Many couples enter into the process a little nervous in regards to what it will encompass yet, the majority leave believing they gained
new insights and feeling that overall it was fun. Premarital counseling is like offering a glass of water to someone who is not thirsty. Couples tend to be in a stage of bliss and all things look rosy from their perspective. However, through offering these counseling services, the counselors get to enter into their lives, give them new tools to build their marriage with, and develop relationships that can pay off later down the road when they encounter obstacles. “I think the biggest thing I get from premarital couples,” Amy starts, “is that they don’t think they need counseling.” “We’re in love,” Terry Little, another Fellowship counselor, chimes in. “We never have any arguments,” Amy continues. “Life is good. It’s just that place of blissfulness. So they’re not as prepared as they thought. It’s like the light bulb comes on and they say, ‘Oh, I never thought about that.’” For couples being married by a Fellowship Pastor or on the campus of Fellowship Bible Church premarital counseling is required. Soderquist adds, “We do believe it is valuable and supports and strengthens the role of marriage. Because we believe it is a valuable tool, the cost is kept to a minimal fee of $50 per couple, which covers the cost of the materials used.” Premarital Counseling consists of a combination of education and application. “We desire to give them tools to utilize in the years ahead, yet apply the tools within the counseling session to assist them in identifying areas of growth and building on what is already working for them.” The couple takes the Prepare Inventory that helps identify their strengths and growth areas as a couple. This inventory tends to generate conversation as it asks them around 180 statements that they are to agree or disagree on. It covers things such November 2012 // 17
as communication, conflict, spiritual intimacy, finances and family of origin to name a few. Other tools used are the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory along with various reading and homework assignments. One couple in Fellowship has first-hand knowledge of this. Garland and Sarah Autry went through premarital counseling at Fellowship and have now been married over three years. “There were things that we talked about or thought we talked about enough but, not until we got in that safe environment did we really express how we felt about certain topics,” states Sarah. “I might have given a brief overview of how I felt on a topic but when we got into a counseling room I would really open up completely and say, ‘I told you a little bit about this but now I want to tell you everything.’”
During their sessions, the Autrys picked up some tools they still use in their marriage. “You learn to listen to the other person and what they’re saying rather than just trying to get your point across,” Sarah says. “You can always apologize for hurting someone’s feelings, even if you’re not in agreement on the topic. That’s something we’ve always stuck with in our discussions or arguments. There’s always an apology. Even if we don’t see eye to eye, we’re always going to be on the same page in that we care about each other and no one meant to get upset or hurt the other person.”
So as the journey begins, the lessons garnered in the premarital counseling sessions blossom into rich relational fruit that couples can enjoy throughout their marriage. But what happens if problems arise? Soderquist explains, “What we’ve seen is because we have taken the time to “It was good to have Terry there to listen in and develop these relationships through premarital give a little feedback now and then,” Garland counseling, it makes it easier to walk back says. “He helped us talk through the things that through the doors of the Phillips Care Center we might have intended to but that we never for follow up counseling. Premarital counseling got around to. There are some things that I seems to remove the negative stigma of think most people intend to talk about but they counseling.” Another option within premarital probably don’t because of time and busyness, counseling is for couples to meet with their but they should before they get married.” counselor once a quarter throughout the first year of marriage. This has proved to be a very “There were things that I thought I understood effective use of time as couples have now moved about Garland,” Sarah continues, “but in that beyond just head knowledge of marriage and setting I was able to gain a deeper understanding they are on the front lines living it out. as he was able to express himself fully and we The counselors tend to wrap up the process with hadn’t done that before.” having couples develop a mission statement for their marriage. This provides them with “Discussing the things you bring into marriage an atlas that keeps the marriage moving in a is helpful,” says Garland. “From your own family, shared direction. If the mission statement is used from your own personality, your own way of properly it becomes the filter for their decisions dealing with stuff. You bring in two sets of as a couple. luggage and try to make one new set from that. And there are different expectations that come with that luggage. Making those expectations Biblically accurate and getting on the same page with each other was really helpful.” 18 // November 2012
In addition, all couples are encouraged to continue feeding their marriage. Make it an item on your budget so that you are intentional about pursuing marriage through workshops, retreats, books and date nights. Premarital counseling can be similar to that of raising children. A parent cannot teach their child everything they need to know in 18 years before they launch from our home. But we can give them a solid foundation in Christ so that no matter what happens they can return to that foundation. “Hopefully that’s what we give to our couples,” Amy says, “the ability to build a marriage on Christ, the Solid Rock, rather than on sifting sand of emotions, selfish ambitions, and earthly pleasures.” Matthew 7 shows us two people with similar dreams, in this case that shared dream is to get married and live “happily ever after”! In scripture, we see that both men heard Jesus’ teachings, they both lived in the same neighborhood and experienced the same storm yet the difference came in where they started from. The wise man not only heard Jesus’ teachings but he applied it and built his house on the rock whereas the foolish man heard but did not apply and built his house upon the sand. One home stood but one home did not. The defining factor was their foundation and this was only discovered once the storm hit – prior to the storm, both houses looked successful. The desire is to help couples pour a solid foundation that is built on nothing less than Christ alone! It is in Him and through Him that we live this great adventure called marriage.
Sarah and Garland Autry have been married 3.5 years now, and their son, Titus, is 7 months old. By: David Henderson Contributor: Amy Soderquist November 2012 // 19
Vision
To overflow with Hope in Him
Mission
To walk alongside others on this journey called cancer and overflow with Hope in Him.
Click to learn more about this ministry 20 // November 2012
The Cancer Posse It all started with a note. In 2009, Kathy Rusch was battling breast cancer at the same time Danielle May’s cancer journey started. The two ladies had back-to-back radiation appointments, and that’s how it all began. Danielle would leave encouraging notes after her appointment so that Kathy would find them at the end of her treatment. And from there a friendship blossomed. “She started it,” Kathy jokes. “No, God started it,” Danielle says. When Danielle completed her radiation treatments, another woman was put in that time slot, Lesley Riendeau. Kathy decided that since she had been so encouraged by Danielle’s thoughtfulness, that she would encourage Lesley. After their treatment was over, the three ladies decided to meet for breakfast. There was a need to be together. They still needed to process and they found a blessing in one another and the time spent in fellowship. But God had bigger plans for these brave women than they could ever imagine. He brought another friend into their midst. Then another. And another. They continued to pray and process together. And that’s when God put His plan into motion. Linda Rogers gave these women the chance to pour into someone. Linda had lung cancer and Ingrid Plumlee, who also had cancer years earlier, began serving her. She visited Linda often, sat with her during chemotherapy, drove her to the doctor, organized sending meals for her family, and simply walked alongside Linda. Somewhere along the way these two very different women became inseparable friends. Ingrid’s desire to serve her sister in Christ during the last few months of Linda’s life was contagious. And that’s when the ladies realized they had the opportunity to use their experiences for much more than breakfast meetings.
They fondly started referring to their group as “The Cancer Posse,” and their ministry quickly evolved into so much more.
the “Been There Buddy”, a cancer patient or survivor that walks through the process with the Care Recipient. Most importantly, and what is often missing from other cancer support organizations, is the spiritual side. The ladies that Thinking back to their time with Linda, Kathy says, are a part of this ministry are in constant prayer for one another. They also put together “scripture “I think that’s when we started realizing God has an agenda.” “Yeah,” Danielle agrees, “like He’s up to showers,” showering patients with encouraging something. That He’s not going to waste this, He’s cards and scriptures. Fellowship pastors also going to do something with it.” At this point they had already witnessed good coming out of their cancer because of their friendships, but through Linda’s journey they realized that it was no longer just about them. They continued to invite other women to be a part of their group. One of the first women to help formalize The Cancer Posse into a ministry was Terrie Tomlinson. Terrie was able to bring her compassion and gift of administration, combined with her knowledge of resources and her personal cancer journeys to the group. Danielle and Terrie met for lunch four months ago and they put their dreams and ideas together; dreams and ideas so similar that only God could have put them on their hearts. There was no stopping this group of fearless women after that. Meetings at Mimi’s Café and sweet notes have evolved into this budding ministry, Cancer Care: Hope in Him. With the vision “to overflow with Hope in Him,” individuals, families and caregivers are offered spiritual and emotional support during and after their cancer journey. As the ministry develops, practical services such as transportation, meals, housekeeping, and yard work assistance will be available. The Posse dreams of having a chemo and doctor “buddies” team in the near future, so that members will have a friend to go to appointments with them. Cancer Care: Hope in Him is not a counseling service, but will offer emotional support through encouraging phone calls, cards, and group meetings. One of the most helpful services is
make home visits and the Fellowship Elders gather in prayer over care recipients. Cancer Care: Hope in Him is already touching numerous lives in Northwest Arkansas. They are specifically praying for caregivers and male survivors who are willing to lead in expanding these areas. The ministry is only in its infancy and there are already plans in place for growth, touching more people with the positive affects of The Cancer Posse. Marnie Compton, a 5-month cancer survivor, got connected with the Cancer Posse very early in her cancer journey. “It’s nice to know that you’re not alone,” Marnie said. The Cancer Posse has been a very positive influence for Marnie throughout her treatment. Several of the ladies have come and sat with her during her chemotherapy sessions. She also said that it has been helpful to gather with the other members of the group and their families. The ladies are
Members of the Cancer Posse, Kathy Rusch, Ingrid Plumlee, Terrie Tomlinson, Kristi Wright, Kathryn Parrish, Danielle May
more than a support group, they’re friends. “We’re very involved in each others lives,” Marnie explains. It’s incredible to witness what God is doing through this group of women and how humbled they are by it. “What a privilege to be in on what God is doing,” Kathy gushes, “Wow, He wants us to be involved in what He’s working on.” “It’s made me thankful for cancer,” Danielle admits. Kathy agrees, “We’d never want to go through it again, but what we’ve learned about God and His ways and His people and His blessings, we would not change that part of it at all. It’s been essential.” The Cancer Posse is like a puzzle. A beautiful puzzle of unique and amazing women, with their own special stories, all fitting perfectly together to help others walk through their personal journeys. And it wouldn’t be possible without all of the pieces. It’s a joy to see how God has knit together a group of ladies with such distinctive and irreplaceable gifts and skill sets. The Visionary, the Teacher, the Prayer Warrior, the Encourager. They are all essential to the puzzle. “It’s kind of neat to think that He might of had this planned all along,” Kathy remarks, “We can so see His fingerprints all over it. We just feel so small compared to what He’s got in mind. It’s just really cool.”
For more information visit hopeinhimblog.tumblr.com For general inquiries about Cancer Care: Hope in Him contact Danielle May at damay@fellowshipnwa.org For prayer requests contact Kathy Rusch at karusch@fellowshipnwa.org If you are newly diagnosed, the Encouragement Group meets the 2nd Thursday of every month at 6pm in the Lodge. If you would like to serve with the Cancer Care ministry, visit ServeOne for opportunities.
By Kiara Goodwin
Kent &Terrie
TOMLINSON 24 // November 2012
By Kiara Goodwin
Few couples know the meaning of “for better or for worse” quite like Kent and Terrie Tomlinson. In July 2006, Terrie went into a surgery not knowing what she was going to wake up to. Her tumor was suspicious for cancer, but the doctors weren’t able to give a positive diagnosis. That is, until she woke up from anesthesia with a cancer diagnosis and without a thyroid. Cancer can be an extremely isolating disease. Terrie experienced emotional, as well as physical, isolation. Following surgery, she underwent an internal radiation procedure that required her to be in isolation at home for 72 hours. She could not be near anyone during that time, including her husband. Kent had to leave her food in the hallway and they could only communicate through the door. For the following weeks Terrie still had to remain isolated from pregnant friends and their young children. After her radiation treatment was complete, Terrie had a full body scan, and the results came back clear. But, the couple still had to make some big adjustments over the next year. The thyroid gland provides the metabolism for all major organs; so having it removed affects temperature, weight gain, energy, emotions and so much more. For a while Terrie was an emotional roller coaster, trying to adjust to all the changes that came from the surgery. As her levels were regulating and she was getting use to the medications, the Tomlinsons had to put their active lifestyle and love for outdoor activities on the back burner. Terrie says that through it all, Kent was her rock. The thyroid cancer journey changed the couple. They saw life for how precious it is and began to hold on to things more loosely. Kent and Terrie thought they had the difficult part of their journey behind them. “Thyroid cancer was a hiccup, but we had the opportunity to make a move to North Carolina,” Kent said. It was a fresh start and a new adventure for the couple. In
2008, as they were getting settled there, Terrie went in for her first age 40 mammogram. She was surprised when they asked that they come in and talk about the results. The Tomlinsons knew it wasn’t good. Sure enough, the doctor said it was breast cancer. Terrie’s reaction was calm. She took it well. Kent, on the other hand was reeling, “I’m sitting there and I’m looking at this table thinking, ‘I can throw this through the wall right now. I’m strong enough.’” His world went upside down in that moment. There they were, in a new state, new community, and just starting to attend a new church. The pair knew this was going to be more than just a “hiccup” without their family and loved ones nearby as support. They “hunkered down as a couple,” as Kent says. The first step was surgery. Shortly after, the doctors found more cancer in the lymph nodes under Terrie’s left arm,so another surgery was necessary. Due to the high risk for recurrence and aggressive nature of the cancer, chemotherapy treatment followed. Kent went to each appointment with Terrie, worked hard at his new job, and kept everything at home in order too. He was the cook, he ran the errands, he kept the house clean. He wanted Terrie to simply focus on getting better. Thoughts and prayers were appreciated from family, but they were miles away, so the Tomlinsons saw this cancer experience as their battle as a couple. Kent would use his time traveling for work to focus on how he was doing through their journey. He had a lot of time alone in the car to pray and reflect. “It gave me a place to pull off the side of the road and just go to pieces, which happened.” But he continued to stand on the promises of God and encourage Terrie that they would get through it together. “It seemed like the rest of the world just kind of got real fuzzy and our world got real clear on what we needed to do.” “It’s made me more of a protector,” Kent explained, “It’s allowed me to see my wife in ways that I probably never would have experienced November 2012 // 25
in a normal marriage. Just to see the qualities that God has brought out in her.” With all the changes, both emotionally and physically, he still reminded Terrie that she was beautiful all the time. When he looked at her he still saw his stunning bride. “There was a level of intimacy and love that we experienced through our cancer journeys that we hadn’t experienced before, and we can say that our love is stronger after we got through those things,” Terrie said, “God was my comforter. I felt His strength and His love, and that is what Kent being here physically did for me. He was my comforter, he was my strength, he was my rock.” He was also her comedic relief. Kent made Terrie laugh by making fun of their situation in ways only the couple could understand. “I called her Mrs. Potato Head and my fuzzy little cantaloupe,” Kent chuckles. Both say it was probably the most that they have every laughed together at any period in time in their almost 23 years of marriage.
soon be behind them. “That’s one of the biggest milestones I’ve seen, when she was ringing that bell,” Kent said.
Once Terrie completed her chemo, 33 radiation treatments were the next step. When radiation treatments were complete there was a bell in the hallway that patients would ring. It was a symbol of hope for everyone in the waiting and treatment rooms, a reminder that it would soon be their turn, that this part of their journey would
Terrie’s attitude has been inspirational to Kent. “She’s always looked at it, as she does everything in her life, how can I use this for good?” And that’s exactly what she’s done. In February 2011, Kent and Terrie moved to Northwest Arkansas to be closer to their parents. Shortly after getting settled, Terrie was invited to be a part of an encouragement group at Fellowship. The women became affectionately known as the Cancer Posse, and today they have grown into a Christian-based cancer care ministry. Their desire is that their hope, joy and love will overflow to others as they walk alongside them in their cancer journey, giving them a place to experience hope in Him. When Terrie began reaching out to others through the Cancer Posse, Kent began thinking about it too. Since the couple did not have family and friends as support throughout Terrie’s cancer journeys, he feels led to start a ministry for caregivers. Kent knows first-hand how helpful it would have been to have another man to talk to and pray with who could relate to what he was
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going through. The objective of the men’s caregiver ministry is “to provide a ‘safe’ place to share one’s battles/challenges among men with similar experiences. A haven for the weary, worried husband/ father who needs prayer or who just needs to ‘get away.’” Kent is currently working on what it would look like to have community-building events for the men, as well as educational information and emotional support. “I think if we gave them a safe setting to just come visit, I think it would be a huge step for Christian men to pray for each other. And not only to support the men but to support the family in prayer and lift them up to God.” With their faith, the Tomlinsons knew that something good was going to come out of their story and it was happening for a reason. Their involvement in the cancer ministries at Fellowship is proof of that. God was Kent and Terrie’s ultimate Caregiver and Protector, and His Word and His truth is what they held on to. Through both journeys they ministered to one another in their marriage.
Kent says, “I give Terrie a lot of credit, but I give our Lord THE credit.” The Tomlinson’s story is not over. Terrie says she and Kent are using their situation every day to share with and support others. “We’re still on the journey and trying to make each day count for God.”
For more information about the men’s caregiver ministry contact Kent Tomlinson at tomlinkt@cox.net or (479) 935-0265.
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BY KIARA GOODWIN CONTRIBUTING WRITER: KRISTI WRIGHT 28 // November 2012
In November 2010 Kristi Wright was diagnosed with a very rare, aggressive form of female cancer. Kristi underwent extensive radiation treatments, as well as chemotherapy and several surgeries ending in April 2011. Her first check up in June showed that her body was healing as expected and there were no signs of remaining cancer. Whether it was due to the anti-climatic ending of treatment or the Holy Spirit, Kristi still felt somewhat unsettled. Her whole life had been picked up and turned upside down and now she needed to figure out how to focus on “normal” life again. In October 2011 Kristi met Fellowship’s Cancer Posse at a breakfast at Mimi’s Café. When she first met the women she was mentally in a really great place. It had been six months since treatment and Kristi had gained endurance and began to feel her zest for life coming back. In November 2011 it was time for Kristi’s regular three-month check-up. The doctor spotted some abnormalities and called her back in for more testing. “Once you’ve been diagnosed with cancer you can’t ever really get away from it,” she explained, “Anything abnormal causes more procedures.” But The Cancer Posse was quick to rally around Kristi. They surrounded her in prayer and showered her with encouraging cards and messages. Kristi saw them as a much needed “added layer”. Through her entire cancer journey her family and community group reached out and unselfishly cared for Kristi, her husband and their two young children. However, the Cancer Posse met a unique need because they had all been there and could personally attest to what a cancer re-occurrence must feel like. All of Kristi’s follow-up tests came back clear and she felt free to officially celebrate that she was a cancer survivor. She was done. Finally. In February of 2012, another three-month check up came back with abnormalities. This time it was more than a scare. The cancer had moved and grown significantly. Kristi was devastated , as she knew what that meant: a radical surgical treatment, a total pelvic exenteration. Kristi and her entire support group weren’t sure what to do next. They had believed in God’s power, they had proclaimed his faithfulness, and now this. A period of silence followed. Kristi spent hours in her Bible and in prayer, as did all those who knew her story. She eventually got to a place of surrender and peace with the help,of Romans 8:17. It reads, “And since we are November 2012 // 29
HIS children, we are HIS heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his GLORY, we MUST also share his suffering.’ (NLT) “ Her parents also reminded her of James 5:14-16, “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.” Despite her discouragement, Kristi took a step in obedience to God’s Word and met with the elders to have them anoint her with oil and pray over her. She admits that she lives life like a party and loves having people with her, so her family, as well as her community group and several members of The Cancer Posse came to the elders meeting as well. It was something she wanted them to be a part of and see what God was going to do with it, and God definitely did big things. After meeting with the doctor again, the surgery date was set. June 5, 2012. Kristi’s community group, family and friends were praying, fasting and sending gifts. The Cancer Posse continued to come together to support their sister every step of the way. Kristi’s mom felt a desperate need to re-biopsy the area to be certain the cancer was still there. After asking for this procedure several times to no avail, Kristi shared her testimony with the Doctor and his Fellow and asked for the biopsy one last time “for her mom”. Although the doctors did not believe it was necessary they agreed to do a small biopsy the morning of the surgery. Kristi was prepped in the surgical room with an epidural, many I.V.s, a tube in her neck for blood transfusions and the anesthetic in full swing. But the doctor took one biopsy, as promised, and waited for the results. The results returned saying there was no invasive cancer. They took more tissue, and no cancer. So they took a third portion of tissue, and called the head pathologist to review the specimen “thinner than paper”, and no cancer. After 5 hours of waiting, the radical and life deforming surgery was aborted. Kristi describes the moment that she really understood what happened,
“I just sat there and thought, ‘Who would not serve this God? Who would not want to know who this God is that works every single thing together for his glory and to give us life abundant?’” It was a complete modern day miracle that spoke to Fellowship’s cancer ministry in an unbelievable way. Kristi remembers one Cancer Care friend, Kathy Rusch, sending her 30 // November 2012
off for her surgery with a huge hug and smile. Kathy prayed from Isaiah 40 before Kristi left saying, ‘We are just waiting to be amazed by our God.’ “And we didn’t expect this,” Kristi said, “What I really want people to know is that the stories in the Bible are not fairytale stories. I believe this is a modern day miracle that happens to people alive today, with a God that’s still very present and real and personal.” Kristi’s journey is not over. As of November 5, she was seeking God’s wisdom to follow up on some abnormalities found during her latest check-up. Kristi and her family are focusing more on using her June miracle to share God with everyone they can. She says, “I believe God continues to ask
me to carry this cross and share in His suffering for good reason; and although we have yet another set back two years after diagnosis, I believe I got a miracle in June and that I still have a miracle.”
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Wise Generosity “Giving wisely brings a joy that cannot be described…and on the other hand, giving unwisely can be very frustrating and perhaps will even discourage you when God-directed opportunities are placed in your path. Thinking through and implementing these suggestions will not only help you to be generous, but to be a wise, generous giver.”
Click here to read more from Lamar Steiger, Resource Development Pastor at Fellowship Bible Church on 32 // November 2012
Wise Generosity.
• Visiting Missionaries • Church Planters • Residents November 2012 // 33
Pathway To
By Steve Cox
Freedom, Inc.
Currently there are over 13,000 men and women in prison throughout the state of Arkansas. Research shows that nearly half of those released will be back in prison within three years. Pathway to Freedom (PTF) is an organization that hopes to change this. PTF is a Christ-centered holistic service program that provides educational, values-based, pre-release services to prisoners. The program hopes to prepare inmates for re-integration into society and become productive citizens by using the skills learned through the PTF program. Nick Robbins is a re-entry specialist for PTF that helps graduates transition back into society. Robbins can relate to these men on a personal level since he graduated from a similar program offered in Iowa. He is a living testament to the effectiveness of PTF and was able to sit down and talk about his story, his ministry, PTF needs, and the support from Mosaic Saturday Night. Robbins said that he grew up in the church, but really didn’t have a relationship with Christ. As a young adult, he committed armed robbery and was sent to prison. He spent the first three years of his sentence developing what he calls a “prison rep.” Things got so bad that the only way out of adding additional years to his sentence was to sign up for Prison Fellowship Ministries. Robbins attended the classes, learned scripture, and heard the lessons. “For the first time in my life, I was still enough for God’s word to really sink in,” Robbins said. He remembers a realization 34 // November 2012
that occurred one day, “I had spent three years developing this reputation of being ‘somebody’ in prison, but through the program I learned I was ‘somebody in Christ.’” After being released Robbins became an intern and eventually a full-time staff member with Prison Fellowship Ministries. Budget constraints forced some contractions and Robbins formed Pathway to Freedom in Arkansas. Robbins says he does this work because he is able to “go into prison and give hope.” Talking about the programs offered by PTF, Robbins said that they are basically the same courses the prison system already offers. The difference is, “We base everything we do on Scripture,” said Robbins. While the prison system leaves many inmates with a feeling of unworthiness, Robbins said, “PTF allows these men to feel worthy in Christ.” PTF is a 30-month program, but Robbins’ ministry begins six months prior to a release date. He meets with men on a regular basis and gets to know them on a personal level. As the release date gets closer, he works to help find jobs for these men, connect them to a local church, and find them a volunteer mentor. Robbins does this because he seeks to, “provide a community and safety net for when life happens.” Robbins continues to meet with graduates on a regular basis for a year after they are released and continues to support them. He sees the church connection as most important because “prison breeds isolation; we offer a social component by requiring attendance at a pro-social organization such as church or Celebrate Recovery.” Robbins said it costs PTF $6,000 per person to go through the entire 30-month program they offer. Financial support is always appreciated, but it is not the only need that PTF has. Robbins is always looking for good Christian men to be willing volunteers and mentors for these graduates. He also is constantly looking for business owners willing to hire one of these men. He said that graduates have strong work ethic and want to turn their lives around. Having a steady job helps keep them off the paths they followed that led them to prison. Robbins said that things are improving and are much better than three years ago when there was no prison ministry in Northwest Arkansas, but there is still plenty of work to be done. The leadership of Mosaic has chosen Pathway to Freedom as a ministry to support and is asking you to do the same. Chip Jackson, Teaching Pastor of Mosaic, has been very active with PTF and has had the opportunity to speak in the prison. He was also able to work with Robbins to live-stream his talk at a Re:frame conference directly into the prison. Real life-change is occurring with these men in prison and Pathway to Freedom is helping make this happen. The work is plenty, but the workers are few.
Visit www.ptfprison.org for more information on the programs offered and all the ways to get involved. November 2012 // 35
salt
SINGLE ADULTS LIVING TRUTH
By Lorinda Gray
For the Christian single, Sunday morning can be the loneliest hour of the week. Sitting alone in the middle of a congregation of families can be painful. Invisible.
The new name also reminds the group that Christians are to follow Christ’s command to be salt to the earth (Matt. 5:13, Col. 4:6) by sharing the Gospel and ministering with compassion.
Singles—whether divorced, widowed, or never-married—can often find it difficult to connect with community groups composed of married couples.
SALT is also an avenue by which mid-life singles can build friendships, fellowship, and serve in a Christ-centered setting. Pursuing “agape” love grows relationships with others and Christ and a family atmosphere develops over time. A singles group can also offer help in times of crisis— especially if family members are not nearby.
The singles of Fellowship in the 40s (The Way) and 50s (Common Ground) age category have recently redesigned their ministry. The two groups have combined and are now called SALT—Single Adults Living Truth.
SALT had a Fall Kickoff in September to introduce the group’s changes. Fifty singles attended and enjoyed a potluck cookout. Directional Leader, Mickey Rapier, led the group’s program for the evening. Scott and Sandy Stout are the new leaders for the group. Scott was previously in the singles group for several years before marrying Sandy two years ago. When Scott was asked why he and Sandy felt God called them to lead the singles, he replied, “The answer is simple. I know how impactful this group can be for people.
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The number of single people in Northwest Arkansas is staggering and offering them a place to belong is very rewarding. If singles feel invisible or feel out of place in a regular community group, we have the perfect community group for them.” Singles are a valuable resource for the church as they may have more free time for service in the church and the community. Singleness is a gift from God and Paul explains that it is a season of life whereby God can be served with fewer distractions. I Corinthians 7:32-35: I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world— how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Mission projects can be one of the most unifying events for the group. Each fall, the singles cook a breakfast for the Samaritan Community Center in Rogers. They have also helped with Operation Christmas Child and this November will help with yard clean-up and house cleaning for one of Fellowship’s treasured seniors. SALT meets every Tuesday evening in the Student Building Lobby at 6:30. The first 30 minutes is spent visiting and sharing over a bring-your-own brown-bag meal. Twice a month, Bible study begins after the meal at 7:00. Once a month, a special speaker shares about his/her life journey. The group gathers at a restaurant the remaining Tuesday night for fellowship. Singles who are interested in participating in SALT can contact Scott Stout by email at thebuckster2@cox.net.
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What is pulling you down? by Rodney Holmstrom
“O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.”Psalm 30:2
“Are you sure you want to permanently delete?” Yesterday I looked at my email “deleted” and “sent” files and boy was it full. I mean, 1000’s of emails from many, many weeks ago sitting there that needed to be permanently deleted. One of my concerns about deleting these old emails is as soon as I do this, I end up needing one or two to refer back to. And if I delete it for good, then I am in trouble. The problem though is that if I don’t clean these files out periodically, it can cause not just my system to run slow but can affect the entire organization. Even yesterday when I selected the messages and hit delete, I had this “what if” thought go through my mind again when the message read, “Are you sure you want to permanently delete?” How often do I have this same approach with my life? Do I have some things in my life that I am afraid to delete cause “I may need to go back to it later when things get tough.” Isn’t that just the way the enemy works? He is constantly feeding us with the lie that says, “Don’t let go of that yet! What if something happens and you need it to feel better later?” Those “things” didn’t do the trick before and they won’t now. In fact, they only made life worse bringing shame, guilt, discouragement, destruction to myself, family, friends and an overall hopelessness. When I don’t purge those old habits, hurtful things, actions, and memories from my past- as I work through them, it not only effects how I run in this life but also those around me. “Being created in His image is an awesome gift, as well as a sacred responsibility,” someone once said. Through Celebrate Recovery, I have learned that it is my responsibility to do a daily delete in my life. If I mess up in the way I interact with someone, think a certain way about myself or just say or do something stupid, delete it, repent, and move on. I must examine my past, learn from it to get stronger for my future and then be willing to hit that delete button. Forget about the enemies’ lies about “what if”. God will help you through with new healthy ways to deal with daily struggles. Remember this, if you are in a dark spot in your life and are considering confronting that darkness, the enemy will do everything he can to keep you from taking action. The enemy is the master of “what ifs” and this is his attempt to keep you right where you are. Freedom is possible! It all begins with surrender and taking one step at a time, one foot after the other.
Meets every Friday night... Meal at 6pm (cost is $5; no charge for newcomers). Worship from 7pm-8pm. Small groups from 8pm-9pm. Coffee and dessert available from 9pm-10pm.
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CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE OFFICIAL HOMERUN WEBSITE November 2012 // 39
DIVORCE CARE Divorce Care is a 13-part video series that covers the many aspects of recovery from the personal trauma of divorce. Subjects include depression, loneliness, anger, forgiveness, children, finances and many other useful topics. This group meets in the evening weekly. Bob and Jennifer Ford, divorce “survivors� themselves, lead this program. Groups are usually 6-12 in size of various ages and seasons of life. It is not mandatory that the divorce be finalized to benefit from this program and it may be helpful to repeat the program a second time. Individuals are welcome to join at any time in the series. For more information contact: Bob & Jennifer at (479) 790-7994 or bobandjenniferford@gmail.com
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The BiLD (Biblical Institute of Leadership Development) Training Center is a major ministry division of Fellowship Bible Church of NWA. This Training Center is the tangible expression of one of the three guiding metaphors that best describes the mission and vision of Fellowship NWA; namely, that Fellowship is a “greenhouse,” a “launching pad,” and a “training center.”
Click for current BiLD opportunities
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