N/D 21 $11.00 US
Photography By: CottonBro
PTANISHA DAVIS ublisher’s Note
Photography By: Calvin Howard Make-Up By: Breana Tyshe Scott
CONNECT WITH ME @TanishaDDavis
Happy New Year! Nothing is more amazing than the start of a new year! This is the time to start over or take a leap of faith on doing something you have never done before! Don’t be afraid to go after your dreams and make them a reality! This is a fresh start for so many and that’s what makes it beautiful. In the midst of fresh beginnings you will also find yourself having to still deal with issues of the past. So in this issue we are discussing the Black America Issue! People of color have come a long way through slavery, the civil rights era and more, yet we are still fighting to overcome! Overcome racism, inequality and a system that seems to be built against us. Yet we shall rise above it all! In this issue, our cover story is with Sybrina Fulton who speaks on 10 years after the loss of her son Trayvon Martin. I hope that each story shared in this issue helps you to reflect and see things through the eyes of others who have experienced pain and overcame it. We have also brought back our Black Love series so you will get to learn from married couples on how they made love work! May 2022 be the best year for you! We believe in you here at FEMI!
Tanisha D. Davis Tanisha D. Davis, Publisher
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Photography By: GottaBe
CONTENTS CONTRIBUTERS 5
Lacey Leonard
8
Shawanna Vaughn
13
C. Nichole & Raffinae LaJuan
16
Penelope McCown
20
Leon Wu
24
Black Love Stories
36
Reonna Green
38
Collette Smith
40
Layla Crawford
42 43 46
Cover Story: Sybrina Fulton Markasa Tucker-Harris
Teen Spotlight: Alejandra Stack
Managing Editor LaTrice Strong
Andrew Joseph Kimberly Scott Amanda Miller Victoria Moulterie Debbie Stokes Parissa Randle Tyrane Hughes Sheri Simmons
Founder Tanisha D. Davis
Email info@femimagazine.org
Website FEMIMAGAZINE.com
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Lacey Leonard A WOMAN WITH DIVINE PURPOSE
Written By: LaTrice Strong
No, I did not learn this bible verse from bible school or church, which happens to be a staple in the black community. I can credit The Best Man Movie for introducing a young girl to these iconic words that have been incorporated into many marriage vowels. But what exactly does it mean for "Love to Never Fail?" And is this level of love and forgiveness even possible? FEMI Magazine had the pleasure of speaking to Lacey Leonard, an advocate for Marriage and Family, A Relationship and Life Coach, and Motivational Speaker, who also happens to be a wife and a mother of two. Lacey uses her testimony to inspire and heal others by proving power in restoration, grace, and love. When Lacey is not working as a relationship | life coach or speaking as a keynote speaker, you can catch her on her podcast "Life Lessons (Stories of an NFL Wife), "which can be found on Spotify. Join FEMI Magazine in showing Lacey Leonard some love. FEMI Mag: A wife, mom, MBA graduate, and former NFL wife. Who would you say is Lacey Leonard? L. Leonard: Lacey Leonard is a Woman, a Healer, Believer in Christ, Mental Health Advocate, and Business Owner.
Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
FEMI Mag: How would you describe your experience as wife/mom, and what advice will you give to new wives/moms? L. Leonard: Having been married, divorced, and remarried-- all to the same person, there is so much that I've learned on this journey about being a wife, mother, and myself overall as an individual. It's been a journey, yet I believe I've become a better wife to my husband this go-round. Self-care isn't selfish, and it's important to make sure you take care of you FIRST because you can't pour from an empty cup. When you become a wife and mother, we naturally put others first, which can sometimes lead us to lose our own indolence and identity, but when you're intentional about making sure you're whole, you give room to pour into your spouse and your children which then allows you to show up as your best self. 6| FEMI MAGAZINE
FEMI Mag: Championing and mentoring women has been added to your resume. What would you say the world needs to change for it to be a better world for women? L. Leonard: In order for the world to be a better place for women, we need to change our perception of women in general. How our strength is viewed, our ability to lead, understanding that women are just as capable as men in many instances. Today there is such a huge inequity of difference in the salary between men and women for doing the same job. Sexism is very much alive, and we need to change our views in so many areas. FEMI Mag: Congrats on Momsplaining. How would you describe the feeling of working on the show? L. Leonard: Being cast on Momsplaining was such a great experience. Kristen Bell was so pleasant and an absolute riot. She kept me and my fellow castmates laughing the entire time and really made us feel welcome. It was definitely an experience I'll never forget, and I'm thankful I had the opportunity. FEMI Mag: What's in the works for you going forward? L. Leonard: As many know, I am a huge mental health advocate. I am extremely proud of the work we're doing at Tackle Health, our new state-of-the-art Behavioral Health Outpatient Facility that we recently opened. I'm also looking forward to relaunching my podcast and getting my memoir published in 2022!
Stay Connected to Lacey Leonard • Website: www.laceyleonard.com
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Images Courtesy of Lacey Leonard
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Images Courtesy of Shawanna Vaughn
Shawanna Vaughn From Trauma to Triumph the Rise of a Living Legend! WRITTEN BY: LATRICE STRONG
Shawanna Vaughn did not allow her past to dictate her future, a product of the foster care system and a history of institutionalization. Instead, she turned her trauma into triumph. She is an actual change agent at heart who is making impactful differences not limited to her community but to those incarcerated, returning citizens from penitentiaries, and individuals who are victims of gun violence through Silent Cry Inc. A nonprofit that was founded by Shawanna Vaughn. In a society full of politically motivated actions, falsehoods and broken promises, Shawanna Vaughn not only talks that talk she is about doing the work and getting into the trenches to advocate for the changes she wishes to see. Such as access to mental health support for all, regardless of one's socio-economic background, or one having the word inmate attached to their name. Having access to quality mental health support is not a luxury It's a human right. FEMI Magazine is honored to have had the opportunity to chat it up with a forward-thinking leader who is unapologetic about her purpose. Sit back and relax and get to know Shawanna Vaughn and the mission of Silent Cry Inc.
FEMI Mag: Who is Shawanna Vaughn? S. Vaughn: A mother of two wonderful children, Anya Vaughn Foriest and Malik Vaughn. The director of Silent Cry Inc. A woman who gets weary but never tired enough to quit on the people who need me most in the moments of the silent cries. I'm an activist and author. A Nurturer and The Giver but most of all, I love humanity. FEMI Mag: Could you tell the FEMI Mag audience about Silent Cry Inc and its mission? S. Vaughn: My mission is mass incarceration, foster care, and those affected by violence. Silent Cry Inc is the organization that answers one person at a time to create long-term sustainable change. We are shifting our focus to policy and legislation and developing neighborhood awareness off of policy and activism. FEMI Mag: In your words, could you educate the FEMI Mag Community about the Post Traumatic Prison Disorder Act. Shawanna W76337? S. Vaughn: This bill is not only about mass incarceration. This is a humanitarian bill about mental health; for those who are incarcerated and experiencing post-traumatic prison (disorder), disabled soldiers have to be acknowledged to get treatment and help they so desperately need. Many individuals have gone without medical care since the beginning of their incarceration. I'm asking that guards be mandated to attend therapy for harm reduction. We are asking for a trauma-informed therapist inside facilities to address the issues of the aces, which are adverse childhood experiences. And to deal with the victims and the trauma that led them to prison so that upon release, they will have the tools and will leave with medical insurance for no lapse in their treatment. I'm asking for cannabis as an alternative to psychotropic drugs. Also, to look at brain injury and why trauma is prevalent, which causes and leads to incarceration. These are just a few things that this legislation will aim to tackle.
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FEMI Mag: What are some ways that people can support Silent Cry Inc, and the programs that's offered? S. Vaughn: We are currently looking for a lobbyist who would support our organization with our legislation. We are looking for philanthropists and funders. There's are corporate companies who would like to sponsor our legislation and our organization to better our movement serve the masses. FEMI Mag: Is there anything additional that you would like to share with the FEMI Magazine Community? S. Vaughn: We are currently working on purchasing the farm as an alternative incarceration reservation for Aging out foster care youth Who would otherwise end up homeless. A farm would also relieve some of the food, injustices. We plan to grow crops, teach aeroponics and greenhouse composting, and more. Farming is a therapeutic environment in which Silent Cry Inc Would like to model as a tool to change what incarceration looks like and have a place so young people will not become homeless when the foster care system releases them. Stay Connected to Silent Cry! • Website: www.silentcryinc.org
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Photography By: Melody Jacobs
Photography By: Raphael Brasileiro
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GET TO KNOW THE WOMBILEE BRAND
C.NICHOLE & RAFFINAE LAJUAN Written By: LaTrice Strong
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Not all hero's wear capes. Some hero's wear pumps; some are business owners and go by the title of "Mom." Wombilee, founded by C. Nichole and Raffinae LaJuan are the women behind a nontoxic, chemical-free menstrual pad that offers seven layers of protection to help combat unhealthy and unprotected wombs. Wombilee a purpose-driven company rooted in service, thanks to its founders having their own non-profit companies, has a giveback program with a mission to end period poverty when one purchases Wombilee's products. In addition, such purchases provide womb care to women who reside in rural villages. So, pull up a seat and brew your favorite cup of tea and get to know the fabulous Wombilee Brand that was created with love and care with the woman's womb in mind. N O M A D I C | 2 4
FEMI Mag: What's the inspiration behind the Wombilee brand? Wombilee: During my non-profit trips within Africa and Latin America, I learned about the significant number of females who miss their studies simply because they don't have or can't afford menstrual products. I started reaching out to menstrual pad companies but soon realized that they weren't responding or weren't willing to sell bulks of pads at wholesale prices. My attitude has always been that I'm not going to repeatedly ask someone for something I need; I'll just get it done myself. That's how Wombilee came about, I needed pads for others, and I said why not make something better than even I can use, because if I can use it, I know other women can.
FEMI Mag: In recent years, products surrounding female reproductive health have been a trendy topic, such as the usage of Yoni Steams and Yoni eggs, especially in the African American community. How do Wombilee products differ from other feminine products on the market? Wombilee: Yoni steam is an ancient practice used in many cultures to promote overall vaginal health with gentle & effective care techniques that utilize heat & organic herbs/salts to assist the body's natural cleansing capabilities. What makes us different is that we're a pad; nothing goes inside your vagina, which I believe that's what takes place with Yoni eggs. During your menstruation cycle, you also use our products to catch your menstrual flow, so we're two different products completely. The Graphene strip in our Wombilee products destroys the bacterial cell membrane and inhibits bacteria. It helps with circulatory health, metabolic health, and cell activity, helping to balance the body's pH. It's also anti-static and conductive, which helps in transferring heat to prevent skin itching. Personally, for the founders, it's lessened our periods by a day. We're heard from other women that it has helped with their cramps and bloating as well. Wombilee's products also have an organic cotton surface with no chlorine, dyes, fragrance, pesticides. Our perforated, breathable top and back layer keeps you dry and odorless, so you're not putting any chemicals back into your body. Whereas a Yoni steam is to cleanse the vagina, Wombilee helps you stay clean from the beginning.
FEMI Mag: Several factors contribute to the health of a woman's womb, such as Endometriosis and Fibroids that at times lead to extremely heavy bleeding during a woman's menstrual cycle. Is it safe to say that Wombilee pads with seven layers of protection can be a safe choice for women who struggle with heavy menstrual cycles? Wombilee: Most certainly. Our Wombilee pads also have a 3-Dimensional layer leak guards for extra protection to stop any spillage, which is also backed up by our wings. Most regular pads only hold up to 5 milliliters (5 grams), most super pads only hold up to 15 milliliters (15 grams) of fluid. Wombilee's Moderate Pad holds up to 150 milliliters, and Wombilee's Heavy Pad holds up to 200 milliliters, so we keep you covered! FEMI Mag: The Wombilee mission statement touches on empowering women and young girls to acknowledge menstruation as a strength. In what ways is the Wombilee brand empowering others? Wombilee: We're empowering women by encouraging them to take their health back into their own hands. Two women of color founded Wombilee, and we understand how the health system and things put out there for women to use may not always be what's best for us. Our tagline is, "It all begins with you..." for a reason. In different cultures, menstruation is a taboo/stigma. We want these women to know that without menstruation, without women's wombs, there would be no birth, there would be no population, and understand the power behind that. FEMI Mag: How can the FEMI community get their hands on their very own Wombilee products? Wombilee: Currently, we're in the soft launch phase of our product, so you can get all your Wombilee products at wombilee.com. We'll be in more places once we officially launch in March 2022. FEMI Mag: Is there anything you would like to share with the FEMI Mag community?
Wombilee: When you purchase with Wombilee, you're also helping fight period poverty by giving back to a womb in need. We distribute hypoallergenic, organic cotton, perforated Biodegradable Moderate pads to women in rural villages, small towns, etc. that may not have access or can't afford feminine products. We've partnered with two non-profits to help us with this mission in Africa and North and South America.
Stay Connected to Wombilee! • wombilee.com
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Penelope McCown
Images Courtesy of Penelope McCown
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Penelope McCown “COCOA BABY LOVE" Written By: Sheri N. Simmons Penelope would like to open dialogue in the African American community around IVF and to remove judgement and stigma that many may have around this topic. She successfully became a mother three years ago with the assistance of IVF.
Years prior, she struggled with pregnancy and embarked on the journey of motherhood by assistive practices. Penelope will launch a new baby line entitled "Cocoa Baby Love" with specialty products designed specifically for new moms who traveled the non-traditional road to motherhood.She's also launching a platform to increase communication around IVF entitled "Pieces of Penelope".
What encouraged you to keep going when you faced challenges?
Before being blessed with my child, I was inspired to keep going by my ultimate desire to become a mother when I faced challenges. Through all the challenges and obstacles I encountered on my journey to have a child, I knew that, I wanted to be a mother more than anything. So no matter what I faced, I kept going because I knew what I was praying for, and that was a baby. Through building my brand and being an entrepreneur, I have also faced and continue to face challenges. But my belief that through my brand, I plan to make such a difference in the lives of African American women, my confidence in my products, and that the brand will be successful, I am inspired to keep going. But above all, I would ultimately say that my faith kept me going when I faced challenges.
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Do you think there is judgment in the black community about IVF? Why do you think that is? Yes, there is judgment in the black community about Vitro fertilization (IVF)! There is a judgment about IVF and infertility in the black community because we have disparities in ourcommunity that exist that other causes this judgment. Although studies show that black women have infertility twice as much as white women, black women are not as likely to seek care or receive treatment. Black women are also excluded from studies involving IVF and infertility. African American women are also thought to be very fertile and should not have a problem conceiving. People also tend to believe that IVF is a treatment that only affluent white seek when that is not the case in reality. African American women with infertility are also often encouraged to just “trust God” in terms of having a child and therefore are discouraged or judged for seeking fertility treatment. This particular scenario personally affects me the most. This is because I have firm faith and belief in God, but I believe that God heals and provides miracles through medical treatment, particularly IVF. Therefore I do not feel women should feel judged or any have any sense of guilt for seeking treatment. All of these things cause judgment in the black community about IVF. By bringing awareness to infertility, I hope that there will be less judgment in the black community over time.
What advice do you have for future Moms that may be facing similar challenges to you? My advice for future moms is first to realize that they are not alone and that there are such a large number of African American women who suffer from infertility. My advice for them would be to keep going and not give up. I encourage them to educate themselves. I encourage them to seek advice and treatment early so that they can know what their options are and what they’re up against. I want them to know that their journey will truly be worth it in the end and to remember that every cloud has a silver lining. Do you find it hard to balance being a mom and an entrepreneur?
Yes. Being a mom is my greatest blessing and, therefore, my most crucial assignment above all. Although my business is inspired by and would not exist if not for my daughter, I don’t want it to affect her negatively as far as the time I can spend and what I can do for her. Being an entrepreneur and a working mom takes a lot of time and dedication. But I need to find the balance so that I don’t skip a beat and still be the mom I envisioned and the mom that my child deserves - even while running a business and being an entrepreneur.
Who is a person that inspires you and your work?
Through my painful and challenging journey to conception and finally becoming a mother, I was inspired to start Cocoa Baby Love. When I was ultimately blessed with my rainbow baby, Priya. My daughter is the true and ultimate person that inspires me and my work. I knew the true purpose of my struggles to create this brand. My brand is heavily inspired by my child, my journey to motherhood, and my actual experience as a mom. As it was complicated for me to have a child, it impacted the type of mother I am, which has also inspired the products I carry in my line.
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What products are you most excited about for your Cocoa-Baby line?
I am excited about all my products in my line! Cocoa Baby Love is about celebration. It is about the celebration of motherhood and celebrating our African American infants and toddlers, who are our biggest blessings. I carry products for infants, toddlers, and mothers. I call my mini brand ambassadors a big part of Cocoa Baby Love. My brand is heavily inspired by and influenced by my daughter. I design my mini brand ambassadors in her likeness. I meant them to represent not only my child but all African American children. I named these mini brand ambassadors to inspire, encourage and celebrate African American Children.
They will appear on the infant and toddler merchandise andwords of positivity, as our young children need to see images of themselves and know they are loved and important. I have 100% organic cotton onesies with my mini brand ambassadors for my initial launch of the brand for infants. For the toddlers (and infants), I am launching with Cocoa Baby Love silicone bibs and feeding wear. For the mothers, I am thrilled that I am launching with a line of beautiful and luxurious diaper bags that can be used as a diaper bag and that are fashionable and can be worn from the playground with babies to the boardroom. Do you have any other exciting projects coming in 2022?
After much anticipation, in January of 2022, I am launching my Cocoa Baby Love product line. Cocoa Baby Love is a platform as well as a product line. My website www.CocoaBabyLove.com willalso be launching in January 2022. I have already been building the platform and bringing awareness to infertility through the brand on social media, but my product line is my labor of love, and I am thrilled to show it to the world! Please follow me on Instagram and Facebook at CocoaBabyLove.
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LEON WU
Photography By: Molly Adams
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WU LEON
Written By: Tyrane Hughes Leon Wu is the founder and CEO of Sharpe Suiting. The fashion forward brand was based out in The Fashion District of Los Angeles, California (2013), and is now located in Hollywood, on Sunset Boulevard (2016). It doesn’t just stop there though, Sharpe Suiting has design session locations in Chicago (IL), Charlotte (NC), Houston (TX), and Tampa (FL).
Sharpe Suiting is a public-benefit corporation, which focuses on supporting the LGBTQ community, women, and people of color through charity. The brand has been featured in fashion shows such as Queer Fashion Week in Oakland (CA), and Dapper Q’s 1st, 3rd, and 6th Annual runway at The Brooklyn Museum (2014, 2016, and 2019 New York Fashion Weeks). Sharpe Suiting has also been on the runways of Los Angeles Fashion Week since 2014. Here is what Leon Wu had to say about his brand:
So, tell us about how the idea of Sharpe Suiting started. “Sharpe Suiting was initially founded out of my own inability to find clothing that would not only fit my body but also who I was: a transgender, masculine-of-center, masculine-identified afab (“assigned female/male at birth") guy. But it was a long time in the making! When I was five years old and had to present as a ‘girl’, I would sneak into my parents’ walk-in closet when no one was looking and try on all my dad’s clothes. I knew that I didn’t want to dress like any of the girls around me from very early on. In fact, I already knew at that age—with absolute certainty—that I was a boy. I just had no way (or knowledge on how) to articulate this. Trans visibility was non-existent during my childhood in the 90s. The only visible trans figures on television were unstable serial killers or silly characters like Pat on SNL, who were the targets of (unspoken) jokes.” “Ten years ago, the concept of Sharpe was just in its infancy…and so was queer fashion. However, the timing of a viable market for us was not quite right. I decided in the meantime to focus on completing my education and spent the next two years at New York University for business school, specializing in marketing, luxury retail, and entrepreneurship (and just being out and proud, as all queers do in school). During that time, I traveled the world with my peers to various places, including Beijing, Hong Kong, and London. I had custom suits made for me in each city I visited, and was very much impressed with the overall artistry of tailoring. I integrated this knowledge with my own experience of styling for menswear and masculinity on afab individuals. I wanted to bring the art of tailoring to women and other people in the afab community.” Leon continues, “Later, after business school, I witnessed a close friend of mine try on countless suits at one of those Hollywood suit outlets, only to feel completely defeated when nothing fit or looked right. They told me, “Dude, you’ve got to launch that business you’ve been talking about. Shortly after, I quit my day job and launched a successful Kickstarter campaign to put Sharpe into business. Then we were off to the races, with new clients and more publicity than I could have ever expected. From the response, I shaped this business to be a driving force in filling a significant gap in the fashion world.”
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Was the idea of disrupting the fashion industry planned? “Absolutely. For about 15 years, I performed as a drag king. I quickly realized that I wanted to take my drag style and fashion off the stage and into my day-to-day life. Gay men found my sense of style cute and riveting. Back then, I knew that gaining their approval as trendsetters in the mainstream fashion world meant something. The more subversive a look I wore, the more thrilled of a reaction I would get! I started to realize that my fashion was my identity, and the idea of bringing this subversion to the world of fashion became a dream…Around that time, I read a book by Kate Bornstein. In it, she said, “I see fashion as a proclamation or manifestation of identity, so, as long as identities are important, fashion will continue to be important. The link between fashion and identity begins to get real interesting, however, in the case of people who don't fall clearly into a culturallyrecognized identity.” So, as long as there are styles and identities being mis- or under-represented in the fashion industry, there will always be more room for expansion. If fashion is art and art can profoundly change people, then why wouldn’t we want to do this by expressing exactly who we are?”... “Furthermore, fashion is political, fashion is cultural. Part of being a valid queer is impacting positive politics and being well-educated in culture and community. Fashion is in many ways a perfect means of fighting for visibility and equality.” What would you say Sharpe Suiting brings to the Fashion Community and furthermore the LBGTQ community? “Sharpe is a big part of the queer fashion movement, and we consider the visibility we offer and embody to be a cultural responsibility to the communities we wish to empower—our communities. One of our favorite past runway show concepts was called: Lap of Leisure, a celebration of queerness existing in Leisure and Luxury (instead of in hardship and strife), which is a typical portrayal of the LGBTQ+ community by mainstream culture. Colorful, luxury clothing decorated and celebrated the models walking down the catwalk. We wanted to commemorate a representation of elevated queerness, because sometimes the point of embodying fantasy is control over how you can see yourself in your own mind’s eye (never mind the fact that you very much can often make it a reality). One of the missions of the queer fashion movement is to bring more visibility and equality for women, POC, and afab community. We do not by any means expect that we can eradicate traditional fashion options (nor do we want to)...but we absolutely want to bring more color, shapes, and materials to the fashion palette. In my capacity as a gender-expansive activist, it is my mission to use fashion and entertainment spaces to showcase subversive art and concepts to incite positive change.”
Tell us more about the styles that were created for gender-neutral fashion. “Our first step to breaking the binary was to address equality in women’s suits—for them to be designed with more integrity. When men wear suits into a conference room, there’s a heightened sense of professionalism and respect. So why do we still see suits in the women’s section including pieces that can’t be taken seriously? Jumbo-sized buttons? Faint pin-stripes? Uniform-like fit that does not accentuate sexual power? There’s no reason why the same effect men’s suits provide can’t be amplified for women as well. We mix and match feminine and masculine suit separates, and their associated patterns all the time to best match a client’s identity. We can take a traditional men’s blazer and match with traditional women’s pants, or vice versa. We also love to play around with design attributes that are outside the men’s and women’s suit norm, like lapel and collarless blazers, etc.”
Photography By: Amos Mac
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What's the next step for you and your company? “This spring we will be launching a new athleisure collection-very excited about designing what luxury in comfortwear can look like in the future of remote or home workspaces, for any gender or body. Adding to this, our expansion to Europe and some other surprise fashion projects are in the mix. So 2022 is going to be an exciting new chapter for us and our community. Additionally, we branched into entertainment earlier this year. What that means is that we will continue to promote visibility and integrity beyond the spheres of fashion, and into the world of entertainment. Our first horror short—set in the 90s—will premiere in February 2022 in partnership with Good Job Films, covering themes of how generational toxic masculinity traumatizes and kills.” Leon Wu and his Sharpe Suiting brand/team have changed a lot for fashion, bringing more customization for individuality into play. The brand’s designs have been at many public events like The Oscars, Emmys, and Cannes Film Festivals. Soon to be branching off into entertainment, we are sure there are great things in store for Leon and Sharpe Suiting. The brand’s website is: SharpeSuiting.com
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Photography By: @howfarfromhome
BLACK LOVE FEATURE:
“THE WARES”
How long have you been married? 33 years
What do you both feel makes marriage work?
Monica: I believe commitment, forgiveness and being attentive to each others needs, help make a marriage work.
Nate: I seek God to help me to be the husband she needs me to be, and to also understand her needs.
What do you love the most about your spouse?
Monica: I love how this man supports me in all that I do, through the good and bad. He's my biggest cheerleader!
Nate: Her love and support through the hard times.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences?
Monica: There was a time when we separated, due to infidelity. It was a very hard time, and eventually, we reconciled. I had to learn to stand in the face of forgiveness, because I made that promise. It takes time for wounds to heal. I understood that. I also had to learn throwing the past in his face wasn't making the marriage better. I had to forgive, heal and have faith in him to build the trust back. It took time and 33 years later, we're stronger than we've ever been.
Nate: I had to learn not to compare my wife to anyone else. It's also important to listen to her (not just hear her) and understand things from her perspective.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
Seek to understand your partner. Love is work! When two people work to build a happy, healthy relationship, nothing can come between that! Marriage is a partnership. Love, forgive and repeat that process!
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BLACK LOVE FEATURE:
THE ALSTON'S
L.A. Alston (L.A. Fotographee) and Jamelah Alston (Jay Wow Designz)
How long have you been married?
10 years - June 18, 2011
What do you both feel makes marriage work?
This is a very broad question because there are a lot of intricate parts that bonds a marriage that allows it to thrive. Not to sound cliche` but communication and honesty are the biggest key factors in our marriage. Being honest even if it's hurting is a big pill to swallow, BUT it's necessary.
We also want to mention setting and achieving goals TOGETHER is super important. We found out in our marriage that we were not fully happy with one another until we found our purpose is life. Finding your happy place is so important, because no matter what your spouse does for you, you will not be completely happy. That's because there is nothing that can fill the void of PURPOSE. Once you have found your purpose, what truly makes you happy, it's all uphill from there.
What do you love the most about your spouse?
HIM: I love her energy. I love the fact that she is the world's greatest mother. I love the fact that once she set her mind on something, it's a start to finish challenge for her. I really re-fell in love with her, when she stepped into her purpose. I saw a hunger in her and her business. Lastly, I love the fact that she loves me.
Her: His patience and unconditional love he has for me and our children.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences?
We are not responsible for each other's happiness. No matter how much you try to make a person happy, nothing will work UNTIL that person has found their purpose. Yeah sure, some people are happy with material things, but to be honest, those things are what we call temporary pleasures.
Learning each other's love language is a BIG key component. Things in life change and people do too, so learning and relearning your spouse's love language is important. What they liked last year, may not be the thing they like this year. So having the patience to relearn your spouse and their differences is key.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
Make sure that who you are marrying is truly your best friend. Make sure that your secrets are secure with them no matter what. Make sure that you 100% know that that person has your back through the storm and the pains in life. Anybody can be happy when there is nothing to fear, but when sh*t hit the fan, know that they are going to ride it out with you. Marriage is a journey, you will love each other, hate each other, fall out of love, and fall back in love. It's rough, we can't lie, but it's a beautiful journey and it is not meant for the weak. The bond we have together is what keeps us whole. The easiest thing to do is to leave when things get hard, BUT it's more rewarding if you stay. #TRUST
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BLACK LOVE FEATURE:
THE ADAM’S
How long have you been married?
We have been married for 15 years. We will reach year 16 on July 2.
What do you both feel makes marriage work?
In order for a marriage to work, both individuals need to know what true happiness is for themselves. Recognition is important because in a relationship you cannot fully expect your happiness to come from the person you are with or the dynamics of the relationship. Identify ways to incorporate what makes you happy within the relationship and identify what makes your partner happy, even if it may be something you are not necessarily crazy about. Patience and forgiveness are necessary to make a marriage work. Be able to recognize that we are imperfect humans and allow grace to one another.
What do you love the most about your spouse?
Bruce- The thing I love about Clevecia is that she is truly willing to go over and beyond to ensure the family is well taken care of. No matter the date, time, or place.
Clevecia- I love that Bruce is family-oriented and that he makes me laugh, even when I am pissed. I could be ready to fight him and he can change my mood in most situations.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences?
A hard lesson we both had to learn is to forgive and forget. If forgiveness is the actual reality of the relationship both parties need to acknowledge the problem, work on the solution and proceed with the notion that they are both willing to do whatever needs to be done to make the relationship work. Recognize triggers from the situations that have negative effects on your partner and the relationship.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
Every day of marriage will not be a great day. You have to be with someone who is willing to fight for you, the relationship, the connection, and the bond that you share. Do not go into a marriage thinking you can change the person you are married to. They are who they are. If you don't like it while dating you cannot assume that they will adjust before, during, or after the marriage. Be supportive through change. As the relationship grows both of you will change in ways that you didn't think of mentally, physically, and financially, be supportive and allow grace through those changes.
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BLACK LOVE FEATURE:
LUKE & KITA
How long have you been married? 15 years, 3 months, 24 days
What do you both feel makes marriage work?
#1 Communication #2 Always keeping it real no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel #3 Being able to compromise and #4 Treat the marriage as if you are one(1) not two (2) individuals ...meaning not being selfish.
What do you love the most about your spouse?
Kita: My husband is like 1 in a million. I love his loyalty and how much he believes in me even when I don't believe in myself...I love the love that he gives to our family.
Luke: My wife is fearless and loyal, she keeps it real with me no matter what, I also love her hustle, drive and ambition.
Luke & Kita: What we both love the most about each other is that we are definitely friends first, we are always together. We actually party together and the difference with us vs other couples is that we don't try to change each other , I let him be himself...he may flirt with other females, hold full on conversations with other females, dance with other females, I don't watch his eyes when a fine female walks by, he turns his head and may even tell me too look..lol. And this is vice versa ....We are not bothered by any of that, that's how deep our love and trust goes. We don't act any differently together vs. when we are out with friends separately...
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other?
We had to learn to be ok with the uncomfortable truth. We had to learn how to compromise and understand that once we said I do, it was no more me and you it’s us.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
Go into marriage with an open mind and not a controlling mindset. Of course any marriage is going to take some work because you have to adjust to something new. But don’t try to change your mate, be ok with who they are, because people can change but that takes time, so be ok with who they are. And set expectations upfront, don’t go into a marriage making assumptions, that conversation may make a relationship before marriage or break it, but that’s the point. No cheating is not ok, number 1 rule if there is something more you want, just keep it real with your mate no matter how uncomfortable it may make you or your mate feel, you all may be thinking the same thing. Just work on keeping it all the way 100% and last but not least, learn about money management and handling finances..I suggest a money/financial management course vs marriage counseling.
But with everything said above comes a massive level of trust and understanding, which is created overtime. That’s why it’s best to have a relationship before marriage, that way you spend time together to ensure that marriage is a good fit.
Instagram @lukenkita FEMI MAGAZINE | 28
BLACK LOVE FEATURE
How long have you been married? Deborah and I have been married 38 years but been together for 43 years. What do you both feel makes marriage work? Lenny: I think patients, love, of course, but definitely patients. Not giving priority to other things you want. You have to think about what takes priority with your mate. Or a difference of opinion about something which takes what takes priority or willing to give priority to other person feelings and wants Deborah: I think what makes marriage work is the dedication. Wanting to be with that person, wanting to be married, wanting to figure things out, wanting to get through the difficult times because you love that person,and you believe in that person, and I think that's it putting in the work.
What do you love the most about your spouse? (Include his & her responses)
LENNY & DEBORAH WILLIAMS
Deborah: What I love the most about my spouse is how he cares for me, loves me, and does everything he can to make me happy. And how secure I feel with him. I know that he will make sure that I am protected, taking care of I have everything that I need. Lenny: I love the most about my spouse Debbie because she's smart, very intelligent, and a fighter for what she wants. And the only time I don't like that is when she's fighting with me about something because she usually gets her way. But she's very determined, and she's very, very intelligent. Beautiful, bright, and all the other things most people look for in a person, those things stand out.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences? Lenny: I had to learn humm that I'm older in life, you know, and I had to learn that the way things were when I was young is not the way they are now. Marriage is 50-50; it's not a maledominated thing. And those are the hard lessons for me to adjust to because my dad ran the house. He would try to give my mother what she wanted, but when it came down to a disagreement or something had to be done. It was his way. He had saying, "I am the boss," But I learned I am not the boss (laugh). So, those are some of the things I had to learn. Deborah is very independent, and so a lot of times, I had to learn that because she's very independent, I had to step back so she could do her thing and not get in her way and accept her independence. Deborah: Oh yeah, how could I forget that Lenny is very conservative when it comes to money, and I like to spend money. I used to laugh and say, "that he would walk around with holes in his shoes and have the first dollar he ever made." But he was a little older than me, about nine years, so I learned eventually that was smart of him. He's astute when it comes to finances. He's brilliant when it comes to figuring out life, and he's been very successful with his idea. He had to really fight me on this because I couldn't see it and didn't want to do it that way. But yeah, I had to come to the realization that he knew what he was talking about with him being conservative with money.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage? Lenny: Make sure you love the person that you are with and like them. They have great books on marriage and relationships. Try to find things to do to make you laugh. Enjoy life, you know, just like Debbie was talking about how I am always planning for the future. Even though you prepare for the future, enjoy life along the way, vacations, and have fun doing this doing that. That is the advice I will give people. Deborah: Don't look for the perfect partner. Some people look for a partner; they have a lot of really high expectations, and they're looking for somebody perfect when they're not perfect. And it's easy to see other people's flaws and don't look for the perfect person because they don't exist. Look for a person you can grow with. You guys can help each other grow into the type of people you want each other to be and the type of relationship you want to have. He might not have everything you want; she might not have everything you want, but if he has something, he has enough of what you need to deal with it and figure out the rest or vice versa; work with that. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Lenny Williams.
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BLACK LOVE FEATURE:
DR. TONI & WILLIAM MELVIN
How long have you been married? A very very very very long time. We have been married for 24 years as of this past December 2021. What do you both feel makes marriage work?
What we feel makes a marriage work is work! What we mean by that is people see what’s on the outside of the book cover but never open the book cover to see what’s inside. You see when we got married at 19 & 18 years old, we took a vow to stay together for better or worse and for richer or poorer. In the more than two decades of our lives together we went through these things backwards. What we mean by that is in the beginning we went through “worse and poorer”, but it was for a reason to prepare us for all the trials and tribulations along the way. However, these things brought us closer to where we are now in a place of “better and richer”. During these years, we realized patience and understanding were two major attributes to have. Early on in our relationship, we made it a rule that we do not curse at each other during a disagreement. Also, finding a way to communicate is one of the most important things in any relationship. You must find a way to communicate, and communication should not be one-sided. Both parties must learn to speak and listen; hear each other and love each other. Having the same mindset is extremely crucial to a long-lasting relationship. Being on the same page on small things such as how often you wash clothes to more important things such as finances, disciplining children, and age of retirement to name a few. No matter how small a rift is, the more they add up, the bigger the hole.
What do you love the most about your spouse?
William’s Response (His Response): There are a number of things that I love most about Toni but her being a great mother and role model for my sons means the most. I appreciate that she sees the value of being a great mother and role model for them. I am also in love with my lil nerd, I love and enjoy her mind. She is one of the most intelligent people that I know. We constantly have great conversations on a regular basis and for me it is very important to be able to have a very intellectual and thought-provoking conversation with her. “The Mind is Very Sexy”. Dr. Toni’s Response (Her Response): What I love the most about Will is that he is a very loving, kindhearted, and all-around personable person. I know it sounds as cliche as cliche can be, but he completes me and is truly my soulmate who knows when I’m mad, sad, and happy. If I’m not happy he makes it his duty to make me happy; not because I ask or expect him to but because he loves me. He knows what I need sometimes before I know to ask or even know I need it. Love is also cliche but when you break down what love means; at least to us anyway, it is being there for each other: loyalty trust, patience, and so on.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences?
A hard lesson that we learned was that we both think differently. Early on in life, we realized that we both think differently, and we had to learn to accept each other's thought processes. Being married to my nerd I had to understand that she viewed things on a different intellectual level. Toni is straight laser focus whereas my mind tends to wander. We still get things done but we just had to learn how to complete them together.
Dr. Toni: The rumor is wrong; wives are not always right! Throughout the years I learned that there are two sides to every part of a marriage. Compromising and therapeutically listening are the keys to truly understanding your spouse and their needs. What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
We would advise people not to outwardly seek marriage. That means allow it to come to you. The misconception is that marriage is work. We are not saying that it is all easy, but when you are with the right person it should be easy. That is not to say that you will always agree but you will always come to a point of agreeing to disagree when you disagree with each other. We know it may go against popular belief, but people should not rush into marriage. They should seek a strong relationship and connection. Rushing and heavily seeking marriage may allow a person to dismiss the red flags because you are so eager to make it work and be married. That eagerness can lead to real issues in the future. In addition to that, when you rush into things you do not take the time to properly focus on making sure that important discussions happen as a couple. You should be on the same page on things such finances, sex, having kids, where to live, how to save, retirement, and the household structure to name a few. We believe that everyone should first seek professional counseling prior to getting married. This does not include speaking to your family and friends which are going to be subconsciously bias, nor does this mean just speaking with your pastor. It is nothing wrong with speaking to them, but you should speak to someone that is trained to address marital issues. With that being said, no matter who you speak with, you need to listen. Yes, you will have to make compromises, but you should not have to settle.
You must listen and see not what you want to hear and see, but what is being said and/or done. Normally, there are red flags, do not feel that you are desperate and must completely settle. Last but not least, We feel there is a certain “time” period that you should get married. That time period should be only after you have truly experienced each other in almost every aspect. This could increase your chances of staying together.
Lastly, there is not an exact “Love Map” to marriage. During our 24 plus years we have made mistakes and have not always done things right. However, we found a way to truly accept each other as individuals. Accepting each other's individuality allowed us to grow and become stronger as a couple and as a family.
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BLACK LOVE FEATURE
KENNETH & CYNTHIA CYNTHIA HORNER
How long have you been married?
Kenneth Harris and I got married on June 13, 2009. We initially met by telephone when he responded to a press release about an event that was going to be taking place for DMC (Darryl McDaniel) from. Run-DMC. At the time, I had recently launched a public relations firm, Cinnamon CHIPS, and had been working with several magazines, including Word Up! and Hip Hop Weekly. He called the telephone number listed on the press release to ask a few questions as he was a journalist and a photographer for New York Trend Newspaper. After discussing the details of the event, we continued to talk for about two hours and I mentioned to him that I was not looking forward to Valentine's Day as I had no valentine that year (this was in 2006). He said, "What a shame," and I wholeheartedly agreed. We met at the venue of the event for Darryl McDaniel several days later, and there was an instant connection. We married three years later. It was his second marriage, but my first. It was a complete industry event. The bridal shower were hosted by Florence Anthony, a novelist and gossip columnist who has worked with the NY Daily News and has a column which appears in numerous newspapers. My bridal party consisted of my sister Kymberly and publicist friends Donna Torrence, Michele Roy and radio personality Debi Jackson whose husband Hal Jackson (the late NYC broadcast icon) was a groomsman along with publicist Steve Manning, Gregory Williams from the R&B band Switch and Ken's son Adimu Harris. The audience was filled with many record company executives and several of my clients. Photos later appeared in Jet Magazine, EURweb and the NY Beacon. My mother, Betty Horner, created the decorations for the occasion and my father, Lawrence Horner, who recently passed away, walked me down the aisle. Music was courtesy of Doctor Bob Lee, author and on air personality at NYC's WBLS. Numerous photographers were on hand to cover the wedding and many of my sorority sisters from Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. were there to take part in the reception in a very unique way, which included a celebration with yellow roses and sisterhood.
What do you both feel makes marriage work?
We married later in life than most couples, so there was plenty of experience to draw from. I got a lot of advice from my parents who had been married for over five decades at the time and we had marriage counseling from Rev. Nigel Pearce. We had a village to guide us along the journey. My husband gives me a lot of leeway to continue pursuing my career and we partner with each other with Cinnamon FLIX Photo Agency and the family-owned business, Right On! Media Holdings, LLC. We have individual interests but we combine certain elements to build our relationship. He doesn't mind that I kept my maiden name for professional reasons. The world knows me as Cynthia Horner, so although I use my married name, Harris, when we are in more personal settings, most people will always refer to me as Cynthia Horner.
What do you love the most about your spouse? He is absolutely hilarious. He makes me laugh...a lot. He's also a fantastic cook and creates amazing dishes. He's personable, popular and believes in working out and traveling around the world. He has loads of friends and what my dad liked so much about him is that he is trustworthy, ethical and the best friend anyone can have.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences?
Sometimes you have to give more and pay attention to what the other person is saying. It's also important to keep other people out of your business and let the relationship take its course. Don't ever think that the relationship should end; marriage should be taken seriously as the vows were stated in front of God. I'm proud to say that our marriage has lasted much longer than many of the celebrities that I have interviewed. There are several celebrity couples who married when we did and sadly, they are no longer together.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
Marriage is not for everybody. You have to be willing to take the commitment very seriously and marry for the right reasons. Do not do it because you have had dreams of walking down the aisle and having loads of people making a fuss over you. I think people buy into the idea of a wedding but that's just one day to be that Cinderella. You will have good days and bad days and you have to be willing to love a person with all your heart, regardless of the change in circumstances.
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BLACK LOVE FEATURE
KENNETH& CYNTHIA KENNETH HARRIS
How long have you been married?
Kenneth Harris: Cynthia and I celebrated our twelfth wedding anniversary on June 13th 2021. We first met at an event honoring basketball player Mark Jackson on September 9th, 2004, but didn’t get to know each other until 2006 when Cynthia was working on a publicity project and I was photographing for a local newspaper. A couple of days later they needed a photographer for a Valentine’s Day event, so Cynthia reached out and hired me. I jokingly said to her that since we both had to work on Valentine’s Day we should consider it a date, and the rest is history!
What do both of you feel makes the marriage work?
Kenneth: The mature age at which we got married is significant. We both had established ourselves professionally and the two professions were a perfect match. The fact that I had an understanding of working under pressure and meeting production deadlines allowed me insight into what Cynthia’s journey was like and it allows me to be supportive in a way that one who hasn’t had those experiences may not know how to give. The same is true with her understanding my support needs as a photographer, and she’s always eager to provide that support. We both enjoy traveling and mingling in celebrity circles. We both started our careers early, were working around celebrities early on, so neither of us held them in awe. I really felt that celebrities appreciate not being revered sometimes.
What do you love most about your spouse?
Kenneth: Well, it’s a gift and a curse. Cynthia loves to be involved. From being in a sorority, doing charity work, advising people in the entertainment field and attending every meeting involving the development we live in. She generously shares her time and knowledge, and no task is too big or too small. The curse is that she wrangles me into situations that put more on an already busy plate, but the satisfaction I see from those she is assisting makes it all worth it.
What are the hard lessons you had to learn to help you understand each other’s differences?
Kenneth: I’m not sure if there were any hard lessons. I’m a pretty flexible person, but there were certain things I had to adjust to. Between her job and outside interests, Cynthia did quite a bit of traveling pre-pandemic, so getting used to being apart was necessary, because my work calls for travel as well at times. Fortunately there are many times we travel together to cover events. Also to meet deadlines, she sometimes has to work into the wee hours of the morning, so I have to go to bed without my partner.
What advice would you have for someone seeking marriage?
Kenneth: From a male perspective, I would advise any young man to find a girl that loves and has a good relationship with her father. Cynthia and her father were very close. I would also suggest that there’s no one correct formula for marriage, but there are elements that if incorporated can make the road less bumpy. The ability to communicate your feelings and listening to how your partner feels is vital. It’s important to maintain a sense of individuality for balance as well. Most of all, be honest. Honest about what you are willing to give and honest about what you're looking for in return.
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BLACK LOVE FEATURE
THE JACKSON’S
How long have you been married?
We have been married 10 years as of 8/20/2021 (14 together)
What do you both feel makes marriage work? Prayer and communication has been our key to marriage success so far. We feel you have to have a bond with your mate remain friends enjoy one another’s company. Take date nights randomly and at all cost avoid feeling the pressure of having to satisfy social media with your relationship.
What do you love the most about your spouse? (Husband) I love how my wife thinks the opposite of me she’s very strategic, besides her being beautiful and take care of my kids.
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(Wife) His presence is what I love most, having him as our caption is the best feeling also knowing I am safe and secure and always in for a spontaneous adventure at any given moment.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences?
Being unprepared and dating as teenagers went hand in hand with our relationship. We were two college students who met at Miles College trying to make it, we became parents at the age of 20 and 19 and had to figure things out on our own with neither of us being from Birmingham Alabama we had to make a way for our family to survive. We began literally from the bottom and build this now empire ground up together.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
Save save save lol no really never get comfortable with no another keep dating one another, give compliments, communication is always a huge factor never go to bed angry that is your safe spot, never allow anyone to come in between you both and keep everyone out of your marriage it was put together by God specifically for you two only
BLACK LOVE FEATURE:
THE STEGER’S
How long have you been married?
28 years. We will celebrate year 29 on Aug 4, 2022.
What do you both feel makes marriage work?
Her: I know many people today would say this is antiquated thinking, but I believe in being submissive to my husband. He has proven himself to be a great husband and provider. And because he loves me as Christ loves the church, it makes it easy for me to submit to him. I allow him to lead so that I can be the heart of our marriage. Trying to be both is too hard. I agree with my husband in that we must communicate effectively. In that, I mean we must take time to talk and really listen to each other. Be willing to understand the other person's viewpoint even it does not agree with yours. Forgiveness and compromise.
Him: allowing me to lead her and my family as the head. Being able to communicate effectively. Remembering that she is my best friend.
What do you love the most about your spouse? Her: I love his consistency--the intentionality behind his actions. His desire is that I never have to question his motives concerning me or our marriage. He puts me and my needs first.
Him: her personality. I like the way she thinks, her dry humor, her thoughtfulness--I love how she takes care of me. She always looks out for me and my well-being.
What are some hard lessons you both had to learn to help you to understand each other’s differences?
Her: I had to take time to learn my spouse. Because we grew up very differently, our views on important matters were and still are vastly different. Not that mine are always right and his are always wrong...just that they are different. I also had to learn to allow him to finish his thought process when we are communicating-- after all these years, I still struggle in this area.
Him: The same....when we cannot agree on a particular situation, we agree to disagree respectfully. Remember to say "I love you" and "Thank you" often.
What advice do you have to give those seeking marriage?
Her: Communicate your expectations and those things that would be considered non- negotiable in your marriage. Be open and honest about EVERYTHING--don't leave the door open for doubt and mistrust to step in. Also, put God first--pray and allow God to prepare you for your potential mate.
Him: learn to have understanding and patience. Mean what you say and say what you mean.
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Images Courtesy of Reonna Green
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REONNA
N E E R G
Hairstylist Turned Attorney, Reonna Green, of She Trademarks Talks Taking the leap from Beauty to Law
Images Courtesy of Reonna Green
Are your assets protected? That is a question you should ask yourself, especially if you are in the beauty industry. Very few hairstylists, barbers, and manicurists have their assets and livelihoods properly protected, often because, they don’t have a clue as to what needs to be done, they don’t think they need it, or they never thought about it. In keeping that in mind, it’s a fact the assets you don’t properly protect, you could potentially lose if not careful. With Reonna Green coming from the beauty industry and understanding the problem that exists, she set out to change that scenario. Meet Reonna Green, CEO of She Trademarks, as she explains her journey from hairstylist to an attorney, and her mission to help protect beauty professionals.
What drew you to specifically working with the beauty industry? Before becoming a trial attorney, I was a professional hairstylist working full-time in the salon, while also juggling undergrad,and then, law school. The beauty industry feels like home to me as I spent most of my time with fellow hairstylists. In a sense, they’re my people because I know what it’s like to be in their shoes and in the industry. As I honed in on my craft as an attorney at an insurance company, I gained firsthand experience with lawsuits and claims against beauty professionals. It was then that I realized the risks that many hairstylists and salons were unknowingly putting themselves in simply because they weren’t properly protected. Beauty professionals are hard workers and hustlers, but no one was looking out for them; this became my driving force in creating She Trademarks. What was the initial response among your colleagues when you told them you would be working with entrepreneurs in the beauty industry? The initial response from my colleagues was not optimistic, to say the least. There were doubts about whether the market I was targeting would be profitable. Creating a law firm specializing in helping beauty professionals was seen as too risky and a waste of time by traditional lawyers. I also had to respond to many “whys?” when it came to starting, She Trademarks, because I was leaving a safe and prestigious job with benefits to pursue my dream full-time.
Written By: Debbie Stokes
What made you want to become a lawyer? I’ve always envisioned myself being a lawyer because I’ve always had a passion for helping people. It’s important to me to advocate for those who don’t know the law or how to navigate the journey to protect themselves legally. The ability to use my knowledge to help secure people’s businesses fulfills me and lets me know that I’ve made the right choice, personally and professionally. How do you blend your two loves of beauty and law? Is it ever hard to merge these two worlds? Beauty and law blends perfectly for me. I knew that being a full-time beauty professional wasn’t quite right for me because I had a different calling. However, I also felt like an outsider in the legal world as I was seen as too flashy and bold, making it hard to fit my personality into the traditional legal box. I love the beauty world because it feels like home when I am around other beauty professionals. I love the glitz and glam that the beauty industry offers, which made it easy for me to be myself: big hoops, bold outfit choices, and a large personality. Sometimes, it has been a challenge to merge my love for law and beauty in the industry because beauty professionals don’t always see the value in legal for their business simply because they don’t understand the risks they are facing. It can also be difficult from a practice standpoint because beauty law can encompass several different areas of law such as employment law, commercial property law, taxes, business, and more. However, my drive to protect the beauty professional and my personal knowledge of the industry has made it easy for me to relate to my clients and serve their best interests. How do you keep your personal life and business life balanced? Honestly, balancing my personal and business life is still something I struggle with. For me, it’s something that ebbs and flows. I work a lot of hours, sometimes around the clock, and many weekends to meet deadlines as a business owner and an attorney. I pretty much wear all the hats from legal to marketing, and there’s always something that can be done or needs to be done. So, it can be hard to ever really take time off or refrain from responding to messages. One way I avoid burnout and keep my life balanced is by taking my vacations very seriously. I make it a point to go on a long weekend trip every few months and when I do, I really unplug from work. I wouldn’t say it evenly balances out with my workload, but it gives me time to relax and recharge. What is the best business advice you have ever been given? The best business advice I've received was to “just start”. Quit waiting for the perfect time, the ideal business plan, the perfect launch strategy, or the perfect social media image. You're wasting valuable time trying to achieve perfection. That doesn't mean to just jump into something with no plan or forethought,but if you wait around for perfection, you may be waiting forever. Honestly, no business is perfect; you have to have trial and error to find out what works, what doesn't, and what makes your brand or business successful.
What advice do you have for young women starting out on an entrepreneurial journey? My advice to young women starting their entrepreneurial journey is to be true to yourself and lean into the things that make you different, so it's easy to identify what sets you apart. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, even if you are just starting. Also, connecting and networking with others is essential. Many potential collaborations, partnerships, or speaking opportunities will come from the network you create. Also, don't feel the need to be an expert at everything. It's okay to get help in areas of your business that you aren't the best in, whether it's graphic design, accounting, or digital marketing, so reach out for help when you need it. What projects do you have coming up that you are excited about? I have two new projects for 2022 that I am really excited about! Both projects come from my desire to help beauty professionals become legally legit, while also understanding that hiring an attorney can be intimidating and expensive. So, in an effort to bridge the gap, I have created the Beauty Boss Legal Bootcamp and Beauty Boss Legal Membership. The Beauty Boss Legal Bootcamp is a hands-on class designed to take those in the beauty industry from beauty pro to CEO. The course will focus on asset protection to ensure the beauty empires being built are adequately protected. Classes will cover LLC formation, business bank accounts, professional liability insurance, and more. By the end of the bootcamp, beauty pros will be protected appropriately with their bag secured. In addition, the Beauty Boss Legal Membership is a monthly membership that provides legal support for beauty professionals at a fraction of the cost. A tool kit of templates is offered for common beauty pro issues,such as: chargebacks, copycats on social media, disputes with clients, and more. This gives the opportunity for quick fixes to common issues, unlimited access to an attorney for beauty law questions, and monthly live training. This is an unbeatable option to run your beauty business like a boss.
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1ST AFRICAN AMERICAN COACH IN NFL HISTORY Written By: Amanda Miller
What has this journey been like for you and taught you about yourself? This journey has taught me to never give up on myself and learn to be better for myself, which helps others. Through my trials of hard-knocks, I now know it is a testimony to help others. I've learned that I can Write my history and not depend on others for their permission! I know I am here to show our kids they can be all they want to be when they believe in themselves, Dream Big, and Never Give Up on Themselves. I know that I should love myself and put myself first for a change because it empowers others just like me! My journey has taught me to remember the little girl I used to be that only saw a bright future full of hope, love, and empathy. I've discovered I can do all things through Jesus Christ, My GOD, yes, I Can, yes, We Can! This journey has shown me that I'm purpose-driven and intentional about having a better world for those usually overlooked and left to fend for themselves. I make it a point to tell our kids and myself, "Don't you ever give up fighting for your beliefs!" and to be the Hero in your Own Story!!! I've learned that when most say it can't happen, I love showing them that it can! I've learned to show up for myself even amongst "naysayers," which, by the way, is the most fun to do! I've learned that representation is crucial for our kids who look like me because if you can see it, you can be it!
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What keeps you motivated and pushes you to continue setting an example for other women of color watch. What keeps me motivated is knowing that WE are essential too! We will not continuously be treated less than without me putting up a fight to show our worth! I think about my ancestors from slavery and think of them smiling when they see us Black Women WINNING!! Over time, it is long overdue that we rightfully claim our position in this world for Humanity and Gender Equity! What motivates me is thinking about my mom as a teenager having to ride the back of the bus because she is black; I think of my dad when he was in high school and his principal telling him he shouldn't go to college and pick up a trade. What motivates me is that schools in black communities don't get all the benefits that "other" schools in "other" districts get! What motivates me is knowing that Black folks get the short end of the straw, and "they" want us to submit to this still to this day! This motivates me to be a Champion not only for myself as a Black woman but for my people that were and are still oppressed.
As the first woman of color and coach in history, how does it feel to be in this light in a maledominated field? As the first African American Woman to have ever Coached in the National Football League (2017) history (I feel a sense of pride but know there is more work to be done. As our Madame Vice President said in her inaugural speech, I quote, "I am the first, but NOT the last!" I second that!!! Opening doors for others is our innate responsibility to pay it forward and be the change we want to see! As the great Shirley Chisholm said, "if they don't give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair"! In other words, don't take NO for an answer! 4. What steps are you willing to provide and showcase toward young women who desire to achieve this level? To all my young sistahs out here looking to make a difference in this world... Know your worth, stand firm and vigilant with a bold approach in the waters you want to dive into, do your homework. Come prepared before you step into any room as not to give them a reason to come up with an excuse of not taking you on, train harder and stay constant on your course of action, be intrusive in spaces we are not inclusive with grace and knowledge. I would make tons of phone calls until I wore people out, and eventually, they would Have to call me back, and when they did... I would SHINE so bright they wanted me on their Team!! Stay in the game because victory will only come to those who stay focused and don't give up!
What upcoming events will you be taking part in for 2022?
I am proud to announce that my company BELIEVE In YOU, INC. will be a Non-Profit Foundation in early 2022, and I will be hosting two events during Superbowl Week in Los Angeles, CA, for the "Believe in You Experience." One will be a red-carpet celebration celebrating women in sports with a silent auction, awards, and a female panel discussion of women in sports; the second event will host 100 black girls giving our girls the tools to strengthen self-confidence, overcome challenges, learn from them, and thrive on helping them reach their full potential, mentoring and interactive football drills. Also, stay tuned for my docu-series reality show, and hopefully, my book will be complete titled "Unapologetically Collette V. Smith," stories from the NFL's 1st AA Female Coach in History.
What has it been like coaching for the NY Jets? Any challenges?
While coaching the NY Jets in 2017 during Training Camp was a life-changing experience proving to myself that anything is possible if you give 100%. My best experience was working with then Head Coach Todd Bowles, the Defensive Coordinator for Superbowl Champs "Tampa Bay Buccaneers"! He taught me much and is just sincerely a "good person" with high standards and a football IQ that is unmatched! I consider him forever family! I had a great relationship with my players and was told by them that they would start playing football with their daughters and how cool it is to have a woman coach and that I made them proud.
Tell us more about your organization Believe in You Inc. How can people participate in it?
My company, Believe in You, Inc., is very near and dear to my heart! BNY came into existence at the end of 2017 through my journey in life that took me to the NFL as the 1st Black Woman Coach in NFL History to show our kids that if you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything you put your mind too even if the world tells you otherwise!!! I travel across America doing motivational presentations to empower our youth from elementary, middle & high schools, colleges, organizations, and corporations to ignite hope and perseverance in others through my Triumphs and Hard-Knocks. You can connect with BNY by checking out the website at www.believenyouinc.com. Lastly... Find Opportunities in your Setbacks because L's don't mean Losses; they are LESSONS!
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Layla Crawford FEMI MAGAZINE | 40
Photography By: Diana Ragland
Layla Crawford The highly anticipated film “King Richard” was released on HBO MAX and in theaters directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green. The film pays homage to the superstars’s father, Richard Williams, portrayed by Academy Award nominated actor, Will Smith. Who I might add gives a stellar performance. The film also highlights how the William’s family helped paved the way for the sister’s success. Layla Crawford stars in the upcoming film as Lyndrea Price, Venus and Serena’s half sister. I got to catch up with the rising starlet on the release of the new film., working with Will Smith and her goals as she continues to rise in the industry. Crawford may be young but already has an extensive resume at only 17 years old. The start of her extensive career was at six years old. You have seen Crawford grace your T.V. screen in series like True Blood and NCIS: LA. Crawford is grateful for all the experiences and opportunities to work with a plethora of actors and directors over the course of her career. “Over the years, I learned to work on being present and in the moment during my scenes. Having that awareness really helped me grow as an actress.” she says. Starring in the newly released film “King Richard” was a full circle moment for Crawford. Not only is taking part of history being told; her co-star is Will Smith. The Will Smith. Despite all the headlines, we will put respect on his name and his impact on the film and music industry. Crawford expresses her admiration of Smith as a person and actor. She describes working with the veteran actor as “transformative”.
Talks her Newly Released Film, King Richard, Working with Will Smith and Acting Career Written By: Victoria
Moulterie
I have been watching him since his days on Fresh Prince to now being one of the biggest celebrities around. His wisdom on set and kind words really helped me push through to give you all a great performance as Lynn Price. I really hope the audience will resonate with all of our characters in this film.
"Working on set was a family affair and the set was filled with laughter and positivity. Crawfords shares the time that was spent bonding with her “Movie Sisters” and Smith. In her recent, lAst Call interview with Popsugar, Crawford recalls how she last spent time with her co-stars. She tells them, “In August, right before school started, [Danielle, Demi, Mikayla, Saniyya, and myself] spent a day at the Santa Monica Pier. We're genuinely like real sisters. Real advice is being given, real conversations are being had. I'm glad to be able to have friendships with them off screen.” Crawford is booked and busy while finishing her senior year in high school. She has been balancing a busy schedule with her acting and volunteering. As a firm believer of self care being a priority in everyone’s life, she gives us some insight on her self care practices and supports her mental health “I love to meditate, listen to music, and write. Writing is a huge passion of mine and it is very cathartic for me” Being a part of so many projects and sets; this has led her to also consider behind the scenes roles. This is similar to other black actresses such as Regina King and Halle Berry. Both who have new releases with Netflix. She lets us know the goals she has coming up in entertainment, “I hope to continue acting, but I also use my platform to do some good to the world. Someday I would also love to direct and tell more realistic black stories through film and tv projects. As I grow in my career, people will hopefully see those different layers” We can't wait to see what's up next for the rising starlet. The film is already streaming on HBO Max and in theatres.
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COVER STORY
Trayvon Martin: Ten Years Later Written By: LaTrice Strong FEMI Mag: What has this journey been like for you, and what has motivated you to stay strong in the fight for Justice?
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son… John 3:16. When I think of Trayvon Benjamin Martin, I imagine a beautiful, brown-skinned boy with bright eyes and an unforgettable smile. A teenager who was full of dreams and promises… God's promise. A legacy deeply rooted in Justice, Love, Purpose, and Hope for a Better Future. Trayvon's legacy will live forever. I can't help but feel a deep level of gratitude for the woman who was chosen to give life to that beautiful brown skin boy that so many like myself have come to love. Sybrina Fulton, A mother, an author, and a social change agent that turned her pain into resilience. The founder of The Trayvon Martin Foundation alongside Tracy Martin. With the purpose to provide support and strength to other families who have tragically lost a child to gun violence. Historically America has been plagued with the disease of black and brown youth being criminalized through whitewashed stereotypical lenses that result from hatred and racism. Then there's the cycle of violence that is perpetuated in our very own communities. With organizations such as The Trayvon Martin Foundation, and the rise of community activists, and political leaders emerging from movements that are passionate about the equal rights and welfare of black lives, I am encouraged that we are one step closer to achieving intervention and reconstitution. When I think of Trayvon Benjamin Martin, that intelligent young man who was loved, fullof aspirations and dreams, I know that Trayvon's life was a gift. The FEMI Magazine community is thankful to Sybrina Fulton for sharing Trayvon's memory with us. For God so loved the world that he gave his only son… John 3:16. That unfortunate fatal night would spark a movement that lit the world on fire. A movement in our nation where America was forced to look in the mirror. Trayvon did not sign up to be a sacrifice. However, his life by no means was taken in vain. Trayvon Benjamin Martin's will live on forever.
S. Fulton: The resiliency that I see in young activists is what motivates me. They are strong, and they are not afraid to fight for what’s right. Their perseverance is what keeps me strong in this fight. There’s not a moment that goes by that I’m not celebrating them for their efforts of taking a stand and making sure their voices are heard. Knowing that these young minds are ready for whatever makes me feel good passing the baton on to them. FEMI Mag: What do you want the world to know and remember about Trayvon Martin?
FEMI Mag: What upcoming events or projects are you involved in? S. Fulton: This year (2022) marks ten years since the passing of my son Trayvon. As with every year, we celebrate his life by hosting a two-day event which consist of a Peace Walk and formal Dinner Gala. Both events are filled with local community members, supporters, influencers, and celebrities. A highlight of the event is when our foundation (TrayvonMartinFoundation.org) honors those who are making a difference in their respective communities. A decade has passed since the untimely death of my son, and the senseless acts of violence have increased. This is indicative that we still have work to do. FEMI Mag: Do you feel the change will ever come in America for black people?
S. Fulton: The world should know and remember that Trayvon was intelligent. He had goals. He loved his family. He deserved to live and exercise his right to vote. The only way to keep his legacy alive is through activism, and the world must never forget the injustice that happened to him.
S. Fulton: When my son was killed, I lost hope in the American Justice System. However, I found faith in Black People. My culture showed me love and screamed out to the world that I was not alone in my fight. Despite the trials and tribulations black people have endured, I’ve watched us rise to every occasion. If we continue to move in solidarity and keep in the forefront that there is strength in numbers, change is going to come. I’m extremely hopeful of this.
FEMI Mag: We live in difficult times; what advice do you have to other black women who are raising sons on how to prepare for the society we live in today?
FEMI Mag: What has helped you have peace in the midst of what’s going on around you and what you’ve been through?
S. Fulton: Our sons need love! There is no perfect parent or handbook on raising them. However, the society we live in can be treacherous, and because of this, we must protect them at all costs. To do so, we must create a safe space for them to grow and be loved. We must not only talk to our sons, but we must also listen to them, their voice matters. Open and honest dialogue provides an outlet for them to express themselves. It’s important to understand that communicating and planting good seeds of positivity within them may save their life. FEMI Mag: Black people have marched and fought for years to overcome being treated poorly. What changes do you feel we can make as a community to demand equality? S. Fulton: Marching in the streets is archaic and not always effective. Legislation (Laws) is what rules the nation. As community members, we must hold legislators and politicians accountable for the promises that they made prior to them being elected. If these officials are not living up to their responsibilities of providing their citizens with sustainable resources, we must vote them out. This is how you demand equality.
S. Fulton: Despite the advertises and tragedies, I find peace by holding on to the memories that I had with Trayvon. Also, being amongst my immediate family and spending time with my son Jahvaris brings me great joy. FEMI Mag: How have you handled your fears and anger? S. Fulton: It took me some time to get to the place of not being fearful or angry. I now embrace them. I’m only human. Having fear and being angry is a natural process of life. However, I refuse to allow them to control me. Both are emotions that I often put in perspective and never allow them to cloud my judgment when making important decisions. FEMI Mag: Who would you say Sybrina Fulton is today after ten years, and what do you want the world to remember about you? I want the world to know, I am the proud Black Mother of Trayvon Martin and Jahvaris Fulton and nothing or no one will ever take that away from me. Not even death!
Stay Connected to The Trayvon Martin Foundation • Website: www.trayvonmartinfoundation.org
Photography By: ADRIAN FREEMAN/AFREEMAN PHOTOGRAPHY
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MARKASA TUCKER – HARRIS
Photography By: Kevin J. Miyazak
PRO-BLACK ACTIVIST AND GRASSROOTS ORGANIZER THAT IS LEADING AN ORGANIZATION WORKING TO RADICALLY IMPROVE THE LIVES OF BLACK PEOPLE!
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MARKASA TUCKER-HARRIS Written By: Amanda Miller
Photo: C.M. DeSpears
Photo: Lisa Lucas
What words define Markasa Tucker – Harris?
Led by God. Loves people. Grounded in rest. Lives for Black joy.
What’s the background story of your project, LIBRATEMKE?
In 2018 I walked myself through the Milwaukee city budget and learned that everyday people weren't involved in this civic process. Actually, not just everyday folks, almost no one was involved in this process except for a few unions. I was politicized by a few comrades who shared an image of the city budget and the percentages of the different city departments with one department holding almost 50% of the city budget dollars. That city department was police, and the health, library, and neighborhood departments all had under 5% each of the budget. I knew that if budgets continued to look like that, residents would not have an opportunity to truly thrive in Milwaukee. I learned that police were looking for resources to purchase a $300k License Plate Reader that captures computer readable images of license plates, but I learned they already had this tool. Advocating with a city alderwoman, I was able to move that $300k from police and knew if I could move $300k, more people could move more money from police and to the departments/services that support their needs.
In early February 2019, the core leaders/partners of AART convened and decided we wanted to run a campaign that spanned all the issues we organized around in the city and landed on an invest divest campaign called LiberateMKE. After hiring a lead organizer shortly after that convening, we launched LiberateMKE demanding a $25 million divestment from police and a $25 million investment in services that support residents basic needs. For more details please visit our website: LiberateMKE.com.
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Photo: Markasa Tucker-Harris
With a firmly established and needed space, what do you want to share or teach those in the same communitydriven field as you?
We all know movement work is really hard work, but I've learned the only way to do it is through authentic and intentional relationships that are rooted in self-love and self-worth, which includes rest and Black joy. There isn't a shortage of work, so we must pace ourselves with pauses, breaks, and Black joy to sustain us. Black joy and rest are revolutionary acts that we must engage in on our way to liberation. Develop, teach, train and work alongside young people, because we can't get free without them.
How important is it to showcase and teach our growing community about reducing police budgets and investments?
“When we say #DefundPolice, we mean reducing the size, budgets, and power of all institutions that surveil, police, punish, incarcerate and kill Black people to zero, and investing in and building entirely new community infrastructures that will produce genuine safety and sustainability for our communities." We must cut police budgets, defund police, and dismantle police to help save our lives. Our work is essential to our survival. It's time to get serious about funding our communities and putting much-needed resources in the hands of the people.
Do you have any advice for the young and influencing generation that might have thought to travel your pathway?
Take time to learn from those that have gone before you, alongside those that may hold knowledge around what you want to orient towards, and take the time you need to move through this work.
What’s one thing you would like to expand on or reduce when it comes to the conversation of community growth, investments, equal opportunities, and the budgeting of the police department?
I'd like to continue to expand the conversation around creating and expanding resources and agencies and their capacity to support residents so they don't have to call or rely on the police.
Can you explain the information and even background of comprehensive budgeting, especially in Wisconsin?
AART has only focused on the city budget. Just this year we released the Milwaukee Police Pension Impacts in FY2023 and Beyond that takes a deeper look at how the planned increase in our city’s police pension obligation in 2023 and beyond will negatively affect all other city departments and functions. It examines four plausible scenarios the city can choose to solve this problem without raising additional revenue.
As we have the remaining life-changing year, what have you learned, or what are the plans and projects coming up?
I've learned that I can do what I think is impossible, like developing an organization that supports the work of liberating myself and those around me. With the help of other dope comrades, I began to build an organization that never had staff, a budget, or any programs. It took a little bit of time to believe that I was capable of doing it and I learned that God would indeed equip me with everything I needed to make it happen. I'm proud to say that He's aligned me with some amazing people to help build the African American Roundtable to six staff with hundreds of thousands of dollars rasied to support our program work to build power from the ground up.
I've learned so many more things about my beautiful daughter Zoe. She is an amazingly brilliant young lady who is multitalented with dreams she will achieve including talents I didn't realize that God blessed her with, but I'm learning every day something new about her. She's an amazing gift from God.
Some of my plans...take a break! I plan to rest and relax for almost a month to recalibrate, recharge, spend time with myself, my family and celebrate my 43rd birthday somewhere warm! As I welcome a new year around the sun, I hope to come back into work in 2022 with a renewed energy to support my staff, our members, and the greater community. There's always work ahead of us, and next year is an election year along with a new lane of democracy work. We hope as we expand our work in this way we can help our community better understand civics and the role of the different levels of government and how the work of government officials affects residents' everyday lives. We are proud to begin more intentional base building work on our city's northwest side of town, where there has been so much divestment and transient community support. We hope to become a strong grassroots community pillar on Milwaukee's northwest side that supports the needs of residents with hopes to build their capacity to walk in their power to help change the trajectory of their community to thrive and live at their greatest potential.
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TEEN SPOTLIGHT
Images Courtesy of Alejandra Stack
Alejandra Stack
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k c a St ALEJANDRA
FEMI Magazine takes time to shine the light on amazing teens in our communities who are doing amazing work amongst their peers. Alejandra Stack is a teen activist, actress, and author. She' has also served previously as an NAACP Youth Council President. Her book, Activate Your Activism was not only approved for school curriculums but made it on the bestseller list. Alejandra wrote the book after a video of her being interviewed at the George Floyd and Black Lives Matter protests in Atlanta, Georgia, back in May of 2020 went viral. We had the pleasure of speaking with her and her story is truly inspiring which is why she is a teen to keep your eyes on!
What influenced you to start and be a part of such a historical manner as protesting
Well in 7th grade at the age of about 11, I joined the NAACP youth chapter group in my county and was greatly inspired there. I got to learn so many things about black history that weren't being taught in school and loved that we got to go on field trips to actually see what other kids were just reading about in a textbook. By 12 I was voted youth council president of the NAACP youth chapter I was a part of. One of my favorite trips was when we went to visit the freedom riders museum in Anniston, Alabama. Learning about the pain that so many people endured just for basic human rights greatly inspired me to continue to fight the system that they did. So when I saw what was happening around me with the protests for George Floyd, Brianna Taylor, and countless other police brutality victims I couldn't allow myself to just sit by. I've met political persons, diplomats, journalists, and more, people who are in history books. Mr Hank, the last surviving Freedom Rider from that first bus was amazing to meet and listen to his story. Ms Clara McClaughlin, the first black woman to own a television station and newspaper in the USA before Oprah went national was a big influence too. We met on Sapelo Island during a Gullah Geechie festival when I was six and she encouraged my mom to invest in me after I bombarded her with questions. My mom worked at her paper and she gave me an African American history trivia game and told me how important it was to tell our stories.
With your book being successful, what impact are you enjoying or wanting the public to learn?
With my book, I wanted to share a little bit of my experience about how I found my passion for social justice and I teach other kids (or even adults) how to safely advocate for whatever cause it is that they are passionate about. Whether that be anti-bullying, animal rights, or social justice, my book gives tips on how to act on your cause even if your parents don't allow you to go to protests. I've gotten so much feedback from kids and adults around the world! Some kids have even told me that they were going to start being an activist because of my book. It's awesome knowing that I'm helping someone who's helping to make the world a better place.
What influenced the development of such a needed book at just a young age?
After posting pictures I took at a protest in Atlanta in the early summer of 2020, a lot of people said that my caption on that post really moved them and it led to tons of people wanting me to do interviews or to speak at an event they were having. I figured since I couldn't answer everyone who wanted to know about my experience then I could just share my story a different way. My mom had gone live just as they were breaking into the CNN building and I was just supposed to take pics but it was really overwhelming. Like I didn't go put there just because. Bevause of my NAACP training, I knew to pack a few things like a milk box just in case I got tear gassed, which did end up happening in downtown Atlanta. It was overwhelming because I love that part of downtown and hang out when our friends visit so to see it go from a park or game night spot into chaos with burning police cars and armed soldiers or cops was like a movie. Someone interviewed me and it went viral and kids just started messaging me and asking what to do. So to answer everybody I wrote a book. Writing is kind of a thing in our house since me and my mom are authors and award winning journalists.
As a daughter of an immigrant, and as a growing woman yourself, what would you like to change for the upcoming and new generation.
I think one thing I’d like to change is the lack of representation. Yes, Kamala Harris is VP and also Caribbean heritage like I am and I understood the significance. So many people come to the US and make a success of themselves and that's what makes our nation the place of dreams. I went through that period of having a heavy island accent and kids laughing then living in a rural area where it was hard to fit in because my latino friends were not island Latinos so different cultures and my African American friends were not Caribbean. I had to adjust and blend in and even then, there is so much boxing in the USA, people kinda forced me to choose even though I identify as I want because my experience is mine. Another thing I don't like is the division amongst Black folks based on who was born in America vs Africa vs the Caribbean. We lost our true heritage after our ancestors were stolen. So the whole division thing, I dont get when so many of us vacation, intermarry, have kids with each other and at the end of the day when there is racism no one asks for a passport or what language we speak first. But I'm black, Latina, caribbean, american, immigrant and a female. That's a whole lot. But my mom has ensured I am educated and being homeschool I have a great emphasis on West African and Caribbean history. So I am really enjoying learning about Yorubaland and the Benin Kingdom from Ghana and Nigeria and the influence of the Caribbean and Americas which are still strong today. I've also attended the Gullah Geechee festivals and participate in Junkanoo and other heritage events. I want us to coexist together rather than divide ourselves.
What's next for you?
A lot more acting. Yes, I act and I've been in a few movies, commercials and projects and tv shows. I've worked with John Walsh, Tyler Perry, Viola Davis, Marsai Martin and a few other big names and I'm actually doing this interview from a commercial set. I’ve been working on a couple of projects recently and I'm already booked to work through the early months of 2022! You can always check out what I'm up to on my Instagram @alejandrastack and some of it is on IMDB. I also have a few more books in me to write. I'm the one one set reading alot between scenes especially on the Black experience. My mom and I order books, especially biographies and history books almost weekly and kinda argue over taking each other's books. My mom is teaching me more media stuff too. Finally, definitely invest in some things. My bro Christon The Truth Jones earned his first million at 14 from stocks and entrepreneurship and is now into properties and has a long event were he honors youth. So we are definitely building our own and about to create our own network of young black and wealthy the time we are legal adults lol.
How do you feel being homeschooled helped you in becoming who you are today?
Homeschooling has allowed me to pick my curriculum so I get to learn about things that somehow aren't “appropriate” for traditional school. I always thought it was weird how much of OUR history has been erased and/or whitewashed in textbooks. I'm able to get more of a hands-on type of learning and I can learn about things that will actually prepare me for the future. It also allows me to do a lot more events, I get to travel more, and it allows me to be on set and act! I guess question 4 answers this too.
What advice do you have for children your age on taking a stand to fight for a good and historical cause?
My advice would be to never stop fighting. Don’t ever conform to the wrongdoings that have been normalized by modern society but also don't forget to be respectful and safe while doing so. My book Activate Your Activism explains how to get educated and first prove to your parents you are researched and prepared, then prove to yourself you arent just jumping on a trend. I also share what to do when your parents think you're too young to attend physical events like protests and how you can use the internet to make an impact on social media. My mom allowed me to do this since I was young so I get that some people think we're too young and cant make an impact. Our voices are powerful and we're not stupid. Just have a conversation with us. We know more than you think.
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Images Courtesy of Alejandra Stack
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