VIVE
SUMMER 2015
FOR A HEALTHIER, MORE CONFIDENT TEEN
Don’t miss
10 reasons to embrace YOUR BODY
Stress or
anxiety?
{12}
ways to go from sweaty to stunning
Here’s what you need to know
JENNIFER LAWRENCE
VANITY SIZING
why your pant size is really just a number
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summer
2015
yourBODY 12 DYNAMIC DUO A workout alone? Good for your body. A workout with a friend? Good for your soul.
13 DOCTOR, DOCTOR... Don’t turn to WebMD — Dr. Dana answers your biggest questions about, you know, down there.
yourEATS 14 KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON Take a deep breath and step away from the Oreos — stress eating doesn’t have to rule your life.
16 SNEAKY SNACKS “Health” food? Not so fast. These seven noms aren’t as nourishing as they might seem.
yourMIND 18 NAMASTE
your STYLE 20 STRUT YOUR SNEAKS Your favorite runners don’t have to be confined to the gym. Here are four ways to style ‘em.
22 DON’T SWEAT IT Here’s how to hack your beauty game so you leave practice looking as fresh as you started.
yourBEAUTY 24 A RECIPIE FOR RADIANCE Believe it or not, there’s untapped beauty potential hiding in your kitchen.
your INSPIRATION 47 JUST KEEP SWIMMING Triathlete Mary Kate Callahan doesn’t let her paralysis hold her back from achieving her goals.
Don’t brush off mindful meditation because it’s the latest buzzy health trend. Time to embrace the om.
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summer
2015
the features
26 a letter to lucy Columnist Allison Pohle gives a first-hand account of what it’s like to hide emotional struggles —18 and how to turn it around.
30 one size doesn’t fit all Fitting room meltdowns are all too common in a world where retailers skew their sizing.
34 we volunteer... to be j. law’s bestie Oscar-winning, pizzaeating, all-around cool girl Jennifer Lawrence has got it all, including an awesome stance on body positivity.
40 is your stress something more? Twenty-five percent of teens have an anxiety disorder. Could you be one of them?
your LIFE 48 THE BALANCING ACT Keep your boyfriend close but your friends and family closer. Our editor Carley discusses how you can have it all.
49 MAJOR FREAK OUT We hear you — deciding what to study in college is stressful. Here are some tips on staying calm and confident before you step on campus. 6 | VIVE | SUMMER
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editors’ note
Dear VIVERS,
When we set out to create a magazine for today’s teens, we thought about what we would’ve wanted to read a short five years ago. And you know what? Not much has changed. We still want to be inspired and encouraged. We don’t want to be misrepresented or put down. We want to see girls who look like us, not girls who look like an edited and retouched version of what’s considered “beautiful.” Whether you’re 14 or 20, it’s important to be confident, healthy and ready to live your best life. You’re at an amazing, confusing and crazy point in your life, and we know that it’s important to be understood. So it is with pride and hope that we bring you the first issue of VIVE magazine. Our goal is to motivate you to live well, from the foods you eat to the way you handle the stress that we know you’re under. We hope we can play a part in helping you navigate these crazy teen years. We want you to learn healthy habits inside and out, from the soccer field to the classroom and everything in between. Published four times a year, VIVE is there as a resource to help you lead a confident life. Online, we’ll give you a behind-the-scenes look at the production of our magazine, including exclusive interviews with our cover stars. Additionally, we’ll use our website as an open forum for teens like you to get your questions answered about health and wellness. You could even see your own work on our website as we regularly post submissions from our readers. Have some thoughts? Tweet at @VIVEteenmag or email contact@VIVE.com. We want to hear what you want, what you feel, and what you think. Because right now, it is all about you.
Editorial Editors Kayla Elam Carley Meiners Stephanie B. Smart Alexa Tucker Ciera Velarde contributing writers Abby Kass Allison Pohle
advisor John Fennell
ART
Happy reading!
XOTheXO VIVE Editorial Board
creative director Madalyne Bird
Kayla Elam,, Carley Meiners,, Stephanie B.. Smart,, Alexa Tucker and Ciera Velarde
designer Abby Holman
ADVISOR Renee Martin-Kratzer
VIVE MAGAZINE 527 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55402
}
THE VIVE MISSION
Ciera, age 15 Stephanie, age 15 8 | VIVE | SUMMER
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Carley, age 15
Kayla, age 15
Alexa, age 15
VIVE Magazine is a teen girl’s authority on embracing health from the inside out. We provide tools for the VIVE Magazine girl to be confident, self-assured and motivated in her wellrounded life — no retouching necessary. We’re at the forefront of the movement of teens embracing their bodies, their minds, and the habits that will set them up for lifelong success.
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WHAT’S ON
viveteenmag.com You Glow, Girl
Beach Reads
We can all agree that beauty isn’t just about makeup. YouTube beauty guru Michelle Phan shares her best tips for radiating self confidence from the inside out. Besides great self-help videos, Michelle also has awesome beauty tips, ways to de-stress, and everything you need to know about being a girl.
Instead of watching Netflix from the moment break begins, stay motivated with these inspirational books (and not the cheesy kind). These reads will have you ready to move into high gear and kick butt all summer long.
Totally Unfiltered, Totally Hilarious
Check, Check Are you completely lost, scared or confused (or all of the above) when it comes to your yearly check-up? We’ve created a printable checklist for you to take to your next doctor’s visit complete with every question you’ll need to get the lowdown on your body.
Jennifer Lawrence shares her candid thoughts on everything from Maddie Ziegler to her most embarrassing awards show moment (it’s even more hysterical than the Oscars trip you’re thinking of.) Trust us, you’ll want to see this.
Total Skin Turnaround
Column Contest Winner
Is your skin oily? Dry? Combination? Take our quiz to finally put those questions to rest and learn to properly care for your precious skin.
VIVE reader and high school newspaper columnist Lauren O’Brien beat out hundreds of entries to win our best column award for her hook up piece, “Why Does It Have to be So Complicated?”. Her hilarious take on what the heck hooking up even means is witty, informative and so true.
Follow us on social, too! facebook.com/VIVETeenMagazine @VIVEteenmag
@VIVEteenmag
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yourBODY
BFF
Try these fresh workouts, and you’ll be more motivated than ever to stay active!
By STEPHANIE B. SMART
best fit friends
It’s so much easier to press snooze instead of getting on the elliptical, but having a workout buddy to keep you accountable makes all the difference when it comes to getting motivated. Exercising with friends might not sound as fun as hitting the mall, but physical activity enhances your health all-around — so why not do it with your girls? Branch out of your comfort zone by trying these workouts while bonding with your crew.
Head Outdoors Take advantage when the weather is warm or there’s snow on the ground. If you live in a state where winter entails sunshine and temperatures above freezing, go for a hike. If your winter is a little harsher, try snowshoeing. It’s a great full body workout. The weather might not always be suitable for outdoor activities, but when it is, get out of the gym, grab your friends, and get some fresh air.
Try an extreme sport Switching up physical activity makes fitness successful in the long run. Changing routines keeps you from boredom and switches up muscle usage. This is good for burning fat and building muscle. Extreme sports such as rock climbing, skiing, surfing or boxing are great forms of fitness adventures, especially with friends. Because these sports use both large and small muscle groups, they work your body almost twice as hard as many other sports.
Test out a group class Group fitness is the best way get all of your friends involved in one location. Spin classes are trending all over the country, whether at intense studios like SoulCycle or less advanced classes at community recreation centers. Because spinning bikes are expensive, this activity might cost a little more than the average workout. However, between the blasting music, animated instructors and encouragement from your workout buddies, spinning is one of the best group workouts.
go-to GEAR
Turn heads while working out in these vibrant pieces whether you’re inside on the treadmill or exploring the great outdoors.
Aerie Crisscross Sports Bra
$19.95
Use a DVD series Sometimes it’s difficult to muster up the enthusiasm to leave the house. Home workouts are becoming more popular because of options like P90x, Insanity, or the latest Focus T25. Created by Shaun T, the creator of Insanity, these exercises offer a great, fun workout, especially with friends by your side motivating you to keep going.
Nike Free TR 5 $100
Gaiam Metro Gym Bag $19.95
FABLETICS JACKET $39.95
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QA
yourBODY
with DR. DANA &
2
What’s your No. 1 advice for me regarding reproductive health? Condoms, condoms, condoms. If you’re going to choose to touch another person’s naked body, use a condom.
1
How can you figure out which birth control is right for you? First of all, there are wonderful resources on youngwomenshealth. org and bedsider.org that can help you figure out what birth control fits your specific needs. It’s also important to remember that girls get birth control not just because they are sexually active, but also for acne, irregular periods, anemia, cramping and mood issues.
By CIERA VELARDE Reproductive health can be a scary topic sometimes. Once your doctor starts talking about birth control, condoms and STIs, it’s easy for your eyes to glaze over or your heart to start racing. VIVE’s health expert Dr. Dana Rubin-Remer is here to ease your worries and provide you with the tools you need to jump start your reproductive wellness years before adulthood.
3
News about a brand-new version of the HPV vaccine Gardasil has recently made headlines. First off, what exactly is HPV, and how does this vaccine work? How is this new vaccine different than the original Gardasil? HPV is a sexually transmitted disease that is known to cause vaginal, oral, rectal and penile cancer. It can also cause vaginal and genital warts. HPV spreads through skin-toskin contact with someone already infected. The new vaccine, called Gardasil 9, attacks nine different subtypes of the virus known to cause cancer. The original Gardasil shot only fights against four subtypes. If you have already gotten the Gardasil shot, researchers tell us that you don’t need to get a new shot, just a booster.
4
What if I don’t feel comfortable talking to my pediatrician (or really anyone) about my reproductive health? Everyone should have someone they can talk to openly and comfortably. Planned Parenthood is always a safe place. Many patients from our practice turn to people in their clergy or their school nurse. If you are sexually active but don’t want to tell your mom, complain about really bad cramps, and that will provide the doctor with enough reason to schedule an appointment. Your primary care physician has the ability to be confidential about sexual health, unless there is talk of suicide, self-harm, or a 3 to 4 year age difference between the girl and her partner. SUMMER | VIVE | 13
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yourEATS CONQUER the stress-eating DEMONS
Indulge in our solutions and stop ending the night with a stomach ache By CARLEY MEINERS
For every reason you have to be excited about your life, you probably have just as much to be stressed about, unfortunately. Finals, breakups, class presentations, family drama… yeah, it all sucks. To make matters worse, imaginary hunger somehow simultaneously comes with all these emotions. Most of the time, you don’t actually realize how much you’ve consumed until you’re lying in bed with a huge stomach ache. So what is stress eating and how can we control it? VIVE has the advice to help you get a handle on your stress eating. What is stress eating? Stress eating, or emotional eating, is hunger that is induced by hormones released from stress. According to the Harvard Health Publications, when the hormone cortisol is released from stress, a person’s appetite increases. During this type of hunger, no amount of food really satisfies your hunger. Can you prevent it? The cravings will come no matter what, but knowing what triggers cravings can reduce the amount of food you consume. First, take note of what is causing your stress. Relationships, school or maybe even that basketball game you have on Thursday night can all cause different types of stress. The number one tip for stress eating is: don’t immediately give in to the craving. Take five minutes to check your Snap Stories or paint your nails. These distractions will help your body realize the craving is just a craving. There are also other ways to prevent taking in so many empty calories at once. Here are some tips for specific types of stress:
If you’re upset… Vent to someone. Eating your feelings will not make you feel better — promise. There’s no problem with binging for one night after a breakup, but if you find yourself going through tubs of ice cream in a week you might want to take a step back and evaluate the real problem. Find a friend who will listen to you talk through your situation. If you’re nervous… All the pent-up anxiety about a presentation, game or exam can cause you to mindlessly eat away the nerves. There’s a better solution, though. Try waking up 30 minutes early on the big day to take a jog around your neighborhood or right before your presentation blast some upbeat music. Nothing like a little T. Swift telling you to “Shake It Off” to kiss those nerves goodbye. If you’re mindlessly eating while you study for a hard exam… This is where the calories will get you. If you sit around for hours eating while you flip flashcards, by the end of the study sesh you’ll feel drained and tired. Try placing pieces of dark chocolate at the end of every 10 pages of that dense textbook for a reward. This will slow down the workload and possibly speed up your motivation to get your studying done. What do you stress eat? We asked our readers what they find themselves binge eating when they are stressed out. “Chocolate, anything chocolate.” – Mallory M., 17
Our solution: If you can’t ignore that nagging itch for chocolate, try snacking on a few pieces of Dove Dark Chocolate. There are fewer calories, and the antioxidants found in dark chocolate have been proven to be good for your skin and heart. But if you’re just trying to satisfy a sweet tooth, try eating some mandarin oranges. They’re a great source of Vitamin C and only 50 calories each. “Goldfish and sour cream and onion chips if I’m feeling saucy.” –Dani V., 14 Our solution: Goldfish aren’t horrible, but those chips are greasy and pack on the calories even with just a few. Try a mix of whole grain Goldfish and unsalted peanuts to add some protein in the mix. “I usually snack on candy, pretzels and popcorn. Really I grab anything that’s in reach.” –Avery F., 16 Our solution: Try asking your parents to keep sweets out of the house. When candy isn’t around, it’s a lot harder to eat it. If something salty is what you crave, try some pistachios. They’re a great source of fiber and they’ll keep your hands busy while cracking open the shells. “Well, I’m trying to eat better so I’ll eat pretzel crisps and dried apples.” –Jenna Z., 17 Our solution: Although dried fruit is a step in the right direction, you’re getting a ton of concentrated sugar. Try eating whole fruit. Strawberries will help kick that sweet tooth to the curb. Blueberries and bananas are also great options for an afternoon snack.
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yourEATS
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yourEATS
MASQUERADING MUNCHIES
Beware: these seven “healthy” snacks are nutritional wrecking balls in disguise.
By ALEXA TUCKER
If you’re anything like the VIVE team, snack time is one of the best parts of the day. But many of the foods we nosh on between meals that seem healthy aren’t actually so great for keeping us energetic and full. We’re not saying you need to ban these foods completely, but there are a few snacks to watch for that might not be fueling you as well as you think.
“Light” yogurt Calcium’s an important part of any balanced diet, but when it comes from yogurt, there’s a catch: the sugar and preservatives can get out of control. And really, what is red dye #40? No, thank you. Opt for a natural yogurt, and don’t be fooled by the “low fat” varieties — sometimes, they contain even more sugar.
GRANOLA BARS Even though granola bars are probably the easiest things to toss in your backpack as you’re running out the door, that quick snack is probably packed with sugar and fat (and not the hearthealthy kind.) Try a Larabar or a KIND bar, which have minimal ingredients.
Potential crash alert: the juice bases that most commercial smoothie makers use are basically frozen sugar. Ask to substitute half of the juice with water, and opt for a small instead of a large. 16 | VIVE | SUMMER
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TRAIL MIX Trail mix isn’t itself bad for you, but the calories can add up quickly. So, limit yourself to a 1/4 cup. Better yet? Make a mix yourself with raw nuts, seeds and dark chocolate chips to reduce the sodium and sugar contained in many packaged trail mixes (but still stick to that 1/4 cup.)
If those sweet mango pieces seem too good to be true, they probably are. Dried fruit contains a shocking amount of sugar, so opt for a regular piece of fruit — whatever happened to good ol’ apples and bananas?
CEREAL That plastic bag filled with your favorite breakfast cereal is convenient, but be careful: it’s probably low in protein, so you might find your stomach growling long before your next meal. Pick a cereal with a good amount of fiber to fend off hunger pangs.
CRACKERS Don’t get us wrong: Carbs aren’t inherently bad, but much like white bread, crackers don’t hold much nutritional value. Opt for whole grain varieties to pack more staying power into your afternoon snack.
IMAGES COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES
SMOOTHIES
DRIED FRUIT
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IMAGES COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES
yourMIND
mindful MEDITATION
Could the secret to unlocking your full potential at school, work and home lie in just a little zen?
By ALEXA TUCKER
We know, we know — the words “mindful meditation” need a little explanation. The phrase is tossed around a lot, but seriously, what does it even mean? Hear us out because you’ll want to get in on this. Mindfulness itself is a type of meditation that allows you to tap into your inner sensations and focus on what you’re feeling in the present moment. Even though it does involve attempting to still your mind, it’s far from unproductive. In fact, in Buddhism, it’s one of the biggest aspects on the path to enlightenment. In a study done in 2011 by Northern Arizona University, meditation was shown to improve mental and physical health across the board. The practice boosted the study participants’ immune systems and their physiological responses to stress, reduced depression and anxiety, and improved social relationships. Meditation has also been shown to boost brain function by improving memory, attention and thought processes; plus, having a little extra inner zen bolsters selfcontrol. And that’s just the beginning of the amazing health benefits you'll enjoy from consistent meditation. All of this, for a few minutes a day? Count us in. Setting aside time to decompress from everything that’s going on in your busy life is difficult, but it’s not wasted time — consider it an investment. Meditation isn’t supposed to be easy, and results take time. But the benefits of consistent meditation can long outlast the actual practice in your day-to-day life. From helping you think about the taste of the food you’re eating to recognizing how your body is reacting to exercise, mindful meditation increases awareness in all areas of your life, and you can really get to know yourself through developing a solid practice. And that’s pretty great motivation as it is, right?
Here’s how to get started:
1
Pick a calm, quiet space and sit or lie down comfortably. You don’t have to sit in lotus position with the backs of your hands resting on your knees like Buddha (although you can if you’d like.)
2
3
Once you’re comfortable, focus on your breathing. Think about the physical sensation of the air moving in and out of your body. “Om” optional.
Let your thoughts pass through your mind, noticing them but not addressing them. This is one of the toughest parts of meditation, but don’t worry if you get caught up following a thought. Just refocus your breath and let it go for the time being. Don’t be hard on yourself for getting off track — meditation takes practice.
4
Have a gentle timer set to lull you out of the meditation. Even if you can only spare three minutes a day, a short window of time is a good starting point. If you’d like more accountability, there are plenty of guided meditations online that can suit your specific needs.
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yourSTYLE
sneak
attack There was once a time when the fashionable girl and the sneaker-wearing girl were two separate people. Carrie Bradshaw in Nikes? Unlikely. But that was then, and this is now. Designers, celebrities and, yes, even fashion-forward columnists are rocking the best and brightest sneaks around. With a wide variety of colors, patterns and styles, sneakers have never been cooler and easier to take from class to weekend movie dates and even to concerts. Take a look at our favorite ways to wear the comfiest footwear around this summer. Eat your heart out, Manolos.
Kick up your wardrobe with these creative ways to wear your sneakers anytime, any place. (Your feet will thank you!)
By KAYLA ELAM
Nike Frees
Adidas Originals
Who says sneakers can’t be preppy too? Classics like these shoes call for a similar outfit. To get the right balance, pair with basic white jeans and a striped top. Voila, it’s sneaker prep! Bright accessories such as this red jacket and leopard-print belt enhance the overall effect for a fun twist that’s spot on for spring.
Tennis shoes can be the hardest to style, so to elevate their impact outside of the gym, think a little dressier. A flared black skirt paired with a graphic tee shirt is a great way to mix and match casual elements with more classic pieces. A denim jacket is the perfect addition to pull the look together without looking like you tried too hard.
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your STYLE High Tops Because these cool sneaks have so much going on with their pattern and color, let them be the star of the show. A simple red dress does just that! It’s bold enough to fit right in with your funky footwear but doesn’t take away any of their impact. This unexpected combo produces the right amount of edgy sweetness.
get the look! Adidas Stan Smith sneakers: $75
finishline.com
Leopard-print Belt: $17, Target, target.com Jacket: H&M, $50 hm.com Striped Top: $24 H&M hm.com Jeans: Topshop $80 topshop.com Nike Air Zoom 9: $99
store.nike.com
Graphic Tee Shirt: $15, Old Navy, oldnavy.com
Black Skirt: $15, H&M, hm.com Converse: $50, converse.com Knit Summer Sweater: $25
oldnavy.com
Floral-print shorts: $18, Simply Vera Wang for Kohls kohls.com Tote: H&M hm.com $25 Les Mills Dance Ur Tempo Reebok:
$85, reebok.com Dress: H&M $34, hm.com Necklace: H&M $10, hm.com
converse Although Converse always pair well with your favorite jeans, mix it up with these lightweight floral shorts and knit sweater. The look is comfortable enough to withstand a long day of classes but is also fun enough to fit right in at parties or ice cream dates with the girls. A basic tote pulls all the pieces together.
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yourBEAUTY from DUMBELLS toDESK
Beat the after-workout sweat by using these tips for a perfect and effortless glow By STEPHANIE B. SMART Long, sweaty workouts leaving you feeling sticky while sitting in class? It’s time to fix that. Test out our tips and tricks for transitioning from icky to incredible in a pinch, even when the time between practice and your next class is next to none.
HOW TO GET READY IN A FLASH If you have 5 minutes: You’ve just finished an intense workout, and you feel as if you have sweat for two. Class starts in 10 minutes meaning you only have 5 to get ready. Remove the remnants of an intense workout with the facial wipes, then apply the CC cream. Top it off with the Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter. If you have 10 minutes: Wash your face off with cold water and dab it dry with a towel to revive your skin. Apply CC cream for a natural glow and add in the Chubby Stick for a flushed look. Apply both the mascara and the eyebrow gel, allowing them to dry for a minute or so. A little lip balm and you’re good to go! If you have 20 minutes: Quickly shower without wetting your hair — that’s what dry shampoo is for, right? — and then redo your locks with one of the styles above. Next, use either the oil pads or the moisturizing lotion, depending on your skin. Add the CC cream, Chubby Stick, mascara, eyebrow gel and lip balm and no one will guess that you just came from a workout.
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ON THE-GO BEAUTY TOOLKIT We know sometimes getting ready has to be speedy quick. Primp on the fly with the VIVE team’s reliable and easy beauty tools for your best post-workout look ever.
SUAVE PROFESSIONALS DRY SHAMPOO
yourBEAUTY Dos to disguise sweaty strands Having trouble keeping your hair in tact during a vigorous workout? These are our favorite hairstyles for all types of hair!
Suaves’s dry shampoo is lightweight, adds body and doesn’t require water.
SHORT HAIR SIMPLE CLEANSING FACIAL WIPES
Headbanded Bun. Put on your favorite athletic headband and pull hair into a low ponytail at the nape of your neck. Instead of finishing the ponytail, leave the ends tucked into the elastic creating a sporty chignon.
To prevent breakouts from sweat-clogged pores, use one cloth to wipe on all areas of the face, and use a second cloth for the neck and chest.
CETAPHIL MOSTURIZING LOTION This simple, fragrance-free lotion hydrates your skin without feeling heavy.
CLINIQUE CHUBBY STICK CHEEK COLOR BALM
MEDIUM HAIR
This makeup bag essential is incredibly easy to apply and has some serious staying power. Dab it on the apples of your cheeks and blend upwards along your cheekbones.
Twist to Ponytail. Twist one or both sides of your hair back into a ponytail to keep flyaways gone for good. Make sure you tie your hair into a tight ponytail, keeping the twists in place.
ALMAY SMART SHADE CC CREAM COMPLEXION CORRECTOR This complexion corrector not only contains SPF, but blends to the shade of your skin. Foolproof.
ARDELL CLEAR SCULPTING GEL FOR ‘BROWS Clear brow gel is the latest and greatest tool for making eyebrows look thicker, and it’s virtually mistake-proof.
LONG HAIR
CLEAN & CLEAR OIL ABSORBING SHEETS If your skin is oily, dab an oil sheet on your T-zone (your forehead, nose and chin) before applying makeup.
Mohawk French Braid Ponytail. This style will keep long hair out of the face all day. This simple French braid begins at the top of your head, pulling tightly backward toward the middle of the head where a ponytail will end the French braid. Add a thin headband to keep flyaways back.
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yourbeauty She’s a
natural beauty
Let’s face it — trying to juggle homework, sports practice, friends and everything in between is near impossible. There isn’t exactly time to deliberate over which beauty products you should spend your hard-earned cash on. So what’s a busy girl to do?! Simply head to your kitchen to find easy, natural ways to keep your beauty regime fresh and healthy.
EGGS
Hair feeling a little dull? Use some eggs! Crack a few in a bowl and whisk them up, then apply it as a hair mask. Once it’s dry, rinse it off in the shower with cold water to achieve a pleasantly shiny glow.
HONEY
Sometimes after a long day, all you need is a luxurious bath, but who wants to spend a fortune on tub salts or bath bombs? Instead, add ¼ cup of honey to your bath. Or if you’ve been soaking too many rays at soccer practice, dabbing honey on burnt skin will help relieve the stinging.
Refresh your beauty regimen with these five DIY beauty treatments you can find in your kitchen
By CIERA VELARDE
OATS These beige bits of goodness can actually help tame your acne. Cook up the oats, let them cool and then apply the paste to any blemishes to reduce redness. If you want an all-over deeper clean, use oats as the base of a scrub with brown sugar, honey and olive oil.
BAKING SODA We’ve all been there—you wake up 10 minutes before you have to leave for school, and you reach for your bottle of dry shampoo when suddenly you realize with horror that it’s all out! Never fear: baking soda is here! Combine ½ cup of corn starch and 2 tablespoons of baking soda. Then sprinkle the powder into your hair and rub it in. Have dark hair? Use ½ cup of cocoa powder and 2 tablespoons of corn starch instead.
LEMON
Got those pesky blackheads? Take a sliced lemon and rub the wedge on your skin to get rid of them. You can also rub the little yellow citrus fruit on rough spots like elbows to soften the skin.
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You are
NOT alone
VIVE columnist Allison Pohle opens up about her journey toward talking about her clinical depression.
T
his past October, my friend texted me to wish me a “happy homecoming queen-aversary.” That day marked five years since I was crowned my high school’s homecoming queen, which was something I hadn’t thought about in a long time. As I reflected on having the shiny tiara placed on my head, I realized that being homecoming queen, something I thought was so important at the time, wasn’t something I thought of much at all these days. I decided I felt ready to write about the reason why I ran, a reason that was a secret to most people in my high school, and to most people who know me today. The article went viral, and now more than one million people know my secret, which is that I suffer from clinical depression. A high school senior named Lucy wrote me a letter responding to my article, and I decided to write back to her to explain more about my experience with clinical depression. I hope this letter can help you as well.
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Hi Lucy, I know how tough it can be to suffer from a mental illness. I have been clinically depressed for years and only felt comfortable enough to open up about it recently when I published my article reflecting on being clinically depressed in high school, which you read. I think there's a problem with the way society looks at mental illness in general because people assume you should be able to just "toughen up" or "think about happy things" and it will all go away. Of course, we know that isn't possible. If it were that easy, we wouldn't be having these problems. I've found that having depression can be hard to explain to people who don't have it. I always tell people that it's kind of like having a broken leg. It can get better and medicine can help stop the pain, but some days you wake up and it's really going to hurt. Other days you'll wake up and hardly feel any pain at all. But instead of your leg being broken, it's your brain (and your heart). To have a broken brain is such a tough thing because I'm not sure if it can be fully cured. Depression is still something I struggle with daily. But then there are brilliant days like today when people like you, and so many of the others who read my article, write in to tell me that I'm not alone. I'm so grateful to hear your story. It helps me, too. It's so important to remember that we aren't alone, even when it really feels like it. I think our mental illnesses will always be a part of us, kind of like a scar. But scars fade. I know that I am doing so much better than I was in high school. I know from my experience that it does get better. My depression did follow me to college because I was so scared to be leaving home and was overwhelmed by a new school and friends. But during college, I began to feel like myself. I realized that it's okay to have parts of yourself that are broken. They will heal and they will have scars, so you will always be reminded of them, but you will be better for it. I know every day can be a challenge, but if publishing this article has shown me anything, it's that we aren't alone. Senior year is such a stressful time. It's a time of "lasts," with everything ending, but also a time of looking forward to firsts. Next year will be a new beginning for you. That is such a gift. You can choose to keep your depression a secret, or you can choose to tell people about it and start advocating for change. Either way, the choice is yours. But don't forget that it doesn't define you. You don't have to be happy every day. I think even people who aren't depressed aren't happy every day. Just making it through the day is enough sometimes. That's an accomplishment in and of itself. I promise it does get better and that, even if it seems dark, the future is full of bright spots.
Always, Allison
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I’VE BEEN THERE Tips from Allison about opening up about mental illness.
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There’s no rule for who needs to know and who doesn’t
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Focus on a small part of your struggle, not the entire thing
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Let the other person know how they can help you
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Opening up about a struggle is difficult, no matter what your particular challenge might be. It’s important to start by telling people whom you trust and believe will respond in a way that’s full of encouragement and acceptance. Mental illnesses can be easy to hide, which is what makes them so complicated. You can choose to keep your own mental illness hidden from people who you don’t feel will be supportive. Opening up is a continual process, and you’ll find that once you start sharing, it will get easier.
My homecoming story focused on one aspect of my depression, which was the way I dealt with it for a few months during my senior year. Trying to explain how depression weighs on me every day is too difficult and complex. When explaining what your mental illness feels like, it’s best to give a specific example rather than try to explain the entire scope of your struggle. It will also make the story more relatable to the person you’re telling.
The person you confide in will want to help you, but you might not be sure what they can do. Unfortunately, as much as they might want to, our friends can’t take the pain out of our hearts. The best thing to do is let your friend know that your mental illness is a part of you, but doesn’t define you. Being a good listener and treating you as a friend, not someone who is damaged, is the best thing your friend can do.
Have a back-up plan in mind in case the other person’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped The stigma against mental illness is not as strong as it used to be, but some people might not understand or react in the best way. Some people might tell you to “toughen up,” or that it’ll get better if you think happy thoughts. As much as you might want to, it’s not your responsibility to educate these people on the reality of mental illness. Take a few steps back and a few deep breaths, and seek support elsewhere.
Remember you are not the darkest part of you Your mental illness is the dark, the night, but it is not all of you. There are still bright spots, and in speaking out about your mental illness, you’re giving yourself the best chance to build a support network. Having a mental illness often feels like you’re sitting alone in the dark. By speaking out, I’ve felt that even if I’m sitting alone in the dark, there are others there with me. Even if I can’t see them, I know I’m not alone.
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VANITY SIZING
How sizes in America have changed, the harm it has caused and how to move past it
By ABBY KASS special to VIVE
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8
12
4
4
8
10 6
12
MORE THAN A 8 4 8
NUMBER 2
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Are you kidding me?” I said to myself. Holding my favorite pair of jeans in my hands, the giant hole stared me right in the face. The damage was done, and I knew that I had to throw out my favorite, worn-in pair of jeans. This could only mean one thing: the dreaded trip to the mall to do some jean shopping. As I entered the store, the bright lights almost blinded me. Everything seemed a little too clean and perfect. I was surrounded by hundreds of jeans in stack after stack. Sign after sign bombarded me. Did I want jeggings, straight leg, or flare? And what size was I again? Sometimes the jeans were sized 2-16 and others from size 24-30. It was confusing, and the small black numbers seemed to taunt me. With a giant handful of pants, I entered the dressing room. Nothing seemed to fit right, even jeans in the same size I was wearing. I ended up frustrated, exhausted and even a little sweaty. We’ve all experienced it. Going shopping can be a nightmare. In one store you try on a size 4, and it fits perfectly and the next it is too small. What gives? Vanity sizing is technically defined as the practice of assigning smaller size to articles
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of clothing than is really the case in order to encourage sales. But there’s really more to it. Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner, author of You Are What You Wear, says there are two conflicting schools of thought when it comes to the existence of vanity sizing. “There’s one camp that thinks that vanity sizing does exist for the purpose of feeding into our body image issue,” she says. “There’s another school of thought that vanity sizing exists to accommodate our changing bodies. Not just our weight, but also our height.” Some people believe that retailers are gradually making their clothes bigger while keeping the size the same to increase sales. Although no research has been done on teens, when it comes to shopping, women are more likely to buy clothing in a smaller size. This can get even trickier with junior sizing because “a junior 14-16 may actually be like an adult zero,” Baumgartner says. What it really comes down to though
“
is that there is no standard of sizing in clothing. And there hasn’t really been standardized sizing throughout history. During the 1940s, the government tried to standardize sizing by taking measurements of 15,000 women. They came up with 27 different sizes based mainly on women’s bust size and an hourglass figure. But just like today, not many women are shaped like that. The data of the study was also skewed as most of the women measured were lower-class white women. In the ’50s, National Bureau of Standards, which is now called the National Institute of Standards and Technology, used some of the data to created sizes from 8-38. Over the years, smaller sizes have been added to this range, and you can now buy clothes in a 000. But by the ’70s, the government withdrew the standard and left us to fight through a sea of numbers while shopping. “The problem actually doesn’t start with the numbers; the problem, psychologically
it was confusing, and the small black numbers seemed to taunt me
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PHOTOS COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES, ABBY KASS
1406
8
6 12 8
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A “trying” time Vanity sizing and the lack of standardization can make shopping especially frustrating. Standing in a dressing room when nothing fits just makes you feel embarrassed and exposed. Just remember, it is not your fault. Every store has a different fit. I tackled this problem head on by trying on six different pairs of skinny jeans (all in a size 28 or 6), and the results were pretty sad.
1
2 H&M
5 Target
PHOTOS COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES, ABBY KASS
Very tight and short. Crotch area did not fit right at all. Least flattering.
speaking, starts with what the numbers mean for us,” Baumgartner says. Over the years we have been conditioned to believe that the smaller the size, the better we are. By placing this value judgement on the size of our clothes, we are lowering our self-worth. What we should be focusing on instead is how clothing fits. This is a challenging process though. We have been conditioned for years to believe that a number indicates our value, but that simply is not true. Instead, we have to acknowledge that vanity sizing exists by identifying what the “ideal body type” is in society. “It starts with what girls are being taught, identifying it exists and countering that,” Baumgartner says. In order to do this, Baumgartner suggests looking through magazines and the images of women portrayed in the media. Many times, youth, thinness and an exaggeration of feminine features are displayed. “You have to be thin but have large breasts. You have to have a big rear end but a flat stomach,” Baumgartner says. Acknowledging that these images are
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JCPenney Not as tight as the first pair, but still very tight. Security tag was also placed in very inconvenient spot.
not attainable is the first step. It is like in One Tree Hill, when people told Millie she wasn’t pretty enough to be a model. Brooke Davis fought back by starting her “zero is not a size” campaign. Sophia Bush, the actor behind the character, even took the message into real life back in 2010 and pushed girls to focus on a healthy body image. And Sophia Bush is not the only celebrity who has spoken out about having a healthy body image. Celebrities ranging from Taylor Swift to Emma Watson and more have been quoted on the manner. ‘“I definitely have body issues, but everybody does,” Swift says. “When you come to the realization that everybody does that – even the people that I consider flawless – then you can start to live with the way you are.” Rihanna agrees, “Being size 0 is a career in itself. It’s not realistic and it’s not healthy.” And Lea Michele sums it up perfectly when she says, “You don’t need to look like everybody else. Love who you are.” Loving your body is still a challenge for all women today. It is a long process that
American Eagle Actually pretty big. Would have needed a belt. Much looser than all the other stores.
Actually fit this time. Still very long and extremely tight. Might actually wear these ones.
Extremely tight. Could hardly button them. Major muffin top going on.
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Altar’d State
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Dillard’s Tightness was pretty moderate. Struggled a little to get them buttoned. Length was more appropriate than most.
starts by looking around you. Baumgartner says that after we figure out where the images of the “ideal woman” are coming from, we can tackle the issue by focusing on internal qualities rather than external ones. To do this, start by writing a list of 10 things you like and dislike about yourself. Then take a look at the list and label which ones are internal or external qualities. Baumgartner suggests taking those good internal qualities and using them to focus on achieving your goals, such as making varsity basketball or getting a part in the musical. By taking your energy and working on achieving those goals, you take your mind off the number written on the label of your jeans. So the next time you trudge to the mall to shop for jeans or dreaded swimsuits, remember that the number on the label has no indication of your worth. A size 0 in one store could be the same as a 6 in the next and an 8 in another store. It is all about finding clothes that fit you and make you feel like a beautiful, confident young woman.
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Jennifer OUR KIND OF GIRL Jennifer Lawrence is recreating the brand of a Hollywood It Girl with her spunk, sass and striking pride in who she is. So, how about a best friend date, J. Law? By ALEXA TUCKER
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J
ennifer Lawrence isn’t just the girl who makes you want to be her: she’s the girl who makes you want to be yourself. Somewhere in between her fun interviews, quirky comments and GIF-able moments, she made everyone realize something revolutionary: it’s OK to not be what everyone around wants you to be. Is the candid 24-year-old actress a nightmare for PR people? Probably. But she’s a dream to real girls around the world: her unfiltered, unabashed and unapologetic portrayal of who she is has made Lawrence one of the most positive role models in pop culture today without being judge-y — a modern feat, indeed. Lawrence is credited with making strides in one major movement in particular: body positivity. It’s one of the buzziest phrases of 2015, and why shouldn’t it be? However, a buzzy phrase is all it is, sometimes. Size acceptance often seems to be accompanied by a little asterisk: *if you’re somewhere between this weight and that weight. Lawrence’s refusal to conform to what people want her to be, from casting directors to photographers, sends a big message: this is who I am, so take it or leave it. “The world has this idea that if you don’t look like an airbrushed perfect model, you have to see past it,” Lawrence told Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer during a Q&A in November 2013. “You look how you look, [so] you have to be comfortable. What are you going to do? Be hungry every single day to make other people happy? That’s just dumb.” Even though she’s not the norm in the film industry — “In Hollywood, I’m obese. I’m considered a fat actress,” she famously told ELLE in December 2012 — Lawrence
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isn’t about to change who she is based on how someone else feels. And that kind of self-love is something everyone could get used to seeing. After all, there’s a reason we all get particularly angry when we see that Lawrence has been noticeably edited. Even though it’s annoying and counterintuitive when anyone’s photo is retouched, Lawrence represents something different. Lawrence isn’t without flaws, though, and although that’s one of our favorite things about her, some comments she’s made regarding her weight have come under fire in the past. In January 2013, she told Marie Claire: South Africa, “I would rather look chubby on screen and like a person in real life.” A month later, she touted the virtues of Photoshop when Access Hollywood showed her the photos from her buzzworthy and heavily edited Miss Dior ads. “Oh my God, I haven’t seen these,” she said. “That doesn’t look like me at all! I love Photoshop more than anything in the world.” Maybe the comments were misguided, but her intentions were clear when she followed that up with, “Of course it’s Photoshop. People don’t look like that.” No, Jennifer Lawrence isn’t perfect, and her words are often misunderstood. But her intentions are undeniably good. She’s conscious of the effect she has on young girls, as evidenced by her firm decision of how she wanted to appear in the hugely popular Hunger Games films. “I’m never going to starve myself for a part.... I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner,” Lawrence told ELLE. “That’s something I was really conscious of during training, when you’re trying to get your body to look exactly right. I was trying to get my body
be hungry every single day to make other people happy? that’s just dumb.
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to look fit and strong — not thin and underfed.” Not only does Lawrence keep in mind her influence over young girls — she thinks the media should, too. In her interview for Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2013, Lawrence said, “the media needs to take responsibility for the effect that it has on our younger generation, on these girls who are watching these television shows, and picking up how to talk and how to be cool. I mean, if we’re regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words because of the effect they have on our younger generation, why aren’t we regulating things like calling people fat?” Lawrence feels so strongly on the matter, she told Walters it should be “illegal to call somebody fat on TV.” Lawrence has also spoken out against her own haters by doing what she does best: being human. As stunningly beautiful, talented and secure as she is, Lawrence reminds us that words hurt, even when you’ve got millions of admirers backing you. “Somebody told me I was fat, that I was going to get fired if I didn’t lose a certain amount of weight,” she told Harper’s Bazaar in November 2013. “They brought in pictures of me where I was basically naked and told me to use them as
“
motivation for my diet. They thought that because of the way my career had gone, it wouldn’t still hurt me.” Lawrence isn’t having any of it, though. During her interview with Mayer, Lawrence said, “There are shows like The Fashion Police that are just showing these generations of young people to judge people based on all the wrong values.” “They call it ‘fun’ and they say ‘welcome to the real world,’” she continued. “And that shouldn’t be the real world. It’s going to continue being the real world if we keep it that way. We have to stop treating each other like that and stop calling each other fat.” One word, J. Law: PREACH. Her growing success gives her an powerful platform to continue to spread a message of confidence and staying true to yourself, and that’s underemphasized in a time when movie stars’ talk show words are carefully crafted and interview questions are meticulously screened. Jennifer Lawrence, through her love of pizza, reality TV and following your dreams with no apologies, is changing the game. After all, much like Katniss, she is the Girl on Fire, and she’s blazing a trail for young women to feel confident, cool and happy to be who they are.
We have to stop treating each other like that and stop calling each other fat.
these are a few of her
favorite
things
reality tv cookies If your TV is already set to Bravo or E! when you turn it on, you might have the same taste in entertainment as J.Law. Kardashians anyone?
You know the best way to end pizza night? A sweet treat. Hey, nothing wrong with a little splurge night every once in a while!
BEYONCE pizza J. Law worships the Queen B, too. Destiny’s Child was even her first CD, she told Vanity Fair.
If you haven’t seen Jennifer’s “Where’s The Pizza?!” GIF, look it up ASAP. You’re welcome.
liam dior hemsworth “I would never expect to ever have a man this good-looking ever be my best friend," she told Nylon. Aww!
The French fashion house dresses Jennifer for many of her biggest red carpet appearances, and even though most of us only admire the couture from afar, it still counts, right?
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“I’mnever considered a fat actress. starve myself In Hollywood I’m obese.
going to I’m for a part. I keep waiting for that one role to come along that scares me enough into dieting and it just can’t happen.
I’m invincible.
I don’t want girls to be like ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss so I’m going to skip dinner.’ That’s something I was really conscious of during training. I was trying to get my body looking not thin and underfed.
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fit and strong,
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the
ANXIETY EPIDEMIC For the 25 percent of teens who suffer from an anxiety disorder, it’s out of control. Here’s what to do for those pre-test jitters or gameday butterflies that just never go to rest. By KAYLA ELAM
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PHOTOS COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES
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We’ve all been disturbed by that sinking in the pit of your stomach before an important exam or presentation. Deep breathing doesn’t really get rid of it nor does the promise of a fun weekend movie date with the girls or a good morning jog. It’s persistent in its attempts to cloud your whole day, and relaxing just isn’t possible until the stressful event is over. This is anxiety in its simplest form. Unwanted as it might be, it’s a normal part of life according to the experts at the National Institute of Mental Health. But for 25 percent of teenagers ages 13 to 18, this anxiety is not just an annoyance but a debilitating and life-altering disorder that can affect school performance and relationships. In fact, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illnesses amongst Americans, and women are 60 percent more likely to be affected than men. Anxiety versus a Disorder The main difference between someone experiencing normal bouts of anxiety and someone suffering from an actual disorder is the length of the experience. According to the NIMH, a disorder usually persists for at least six months and often gets worse over time. This causes a disruption in the sufferer’s life that can lead to avoiding certain situations or doing poorly in school, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. From there, it’s hard to generalize what an anxiety disorder feels like because there are different types with a range of signs and symptoms that vary depending on the disorder and the sufferer. Although categorization of types of anxiety vary among medical and mental health professionals, some of the most widely recognized include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and social anxiety disorder as well as phobias. Treatment and Beyond Like other mental illnesses, anxiety disorders are complexities medical researchers are working to understand.
The sources of these disorders and the reason they affect certain people are still largely unknown though there have been studies that have linked those with depression with having an increased chance of having anxiety disorders. But the good news is treatment for anxiety has a high success rate that often includes cognitive-behavorial therapy, which is just a fancy term for working with a professional on understanding and changing your thinking. It also is a way to manage and aid reactions to anxiety and triggers as well. Medication is also a treatment option for some people and must be carefully managed and administered by professionals. Remember, only a physician can give you a proper diagnosis. So if you think you might have an anxiety disorder, talk to your doctor or a psychologist to help you form the best treatment plan. Although the NIMH is careful to point out that seeing a mental health professional is best, other forms of support such as practicing meditation or joining a support group with other teens going through the same things are also known to help. These groups are typically found in high schools, college campuses and through local health organizations. Another small way to enhance treatment or manage daily anxiety is to monitor stress, which often intensifies or even causes anxiety. Journaling, exercising and avoiding caffeine are just a few recommended ways to keep those stress levels low. If you need help, don’t shy away from taking control of your struggle: only one-third of those suffering seek treatment, according to the ADAA. This could be because of fears of dismissal or trivialization of their symptoms by family, friends or even doctors. Other times, those with anxiety don’t seek treatment; they have lived with the condition as long as they can remember and it seems almost normal (see VIVE columnist Allison Pohle’s experience on page 26). Either way, it is important
to recognize the validity of symptoms. Mental health issues come with an unfair stigma because of lack of knowledge, but being unafraid to stand up and ask for help can help break down the barriers for everyone over time. What Now? Dos and Don’ts: If you think you have a disorder: Do: Tell someone! It is impossible to diagnose yourself (or have a magazine article diagnose you), so seeking help from a profesional is crucial. A counselor, nurse or parent can refer you to a mental health specialist or physician who can lead you in the right direction in getting a diagnosis and, if necessary, treatment. Don’t: Worry. You’re not alone! Twenty-five percent of teens suffer from some kind Generalized Anxiety of anxiety disorder, Characterized by excessive and with worry, often for no reason. so many treatment Panic Disorder options, it is possible Characterized by anxiety to live a or panic attacks that are healthy, moments of intense fear and productive life. Social Anxiety Disorder If a friend or Characterized by extreme family fear of being judged in social member situations (Note: this is very different from shyness). has an anxiety Source: ADAA disorder: Don’t: Trivialize their disorder. Do: Educate yourself and talk to them about it. Although you can’t truly step in their shoes or try to “fix” them, it is possible to be there for support and empathy. The National Institute of Mental Health’s website (nimh.nih.gov) is also a great source of information. Do: Ask them if there is anything you can do to help them. Even if there isn’t, those simple words mean a lot.
Everyday anxiety or symptoms of a disorder? NORMAL • Realistic fear of event or thing
• Anxiety you’ve previously experienced • Anxiety before a big event
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find the fire
yourINSPIRATION Mary Kate Callahan talks the ups and downs of being a paraplegic athlete
By STEPHANIE B. SMART
Mary Kate Callahan has faced many challenges throughout her life. In high school, she was one of seven disabled athletes to compete at a state championship swim meet, making Illinois history. Later, Callahan became the youngest member of Team USA at the 2012 and 2014 World Triathlon Championships. Success hasn’t always come easy for Callahan, though – here’s how she got to where she is today.
VIVE: How did you get involved in athletics? MKC: At a very early age I began swimming as
part of aqua therapy. I loved the water and the freedom it brought to me. The buoyancy the water provided as I moved allowed me to be just one of the kids in the water.
VIVE: How did you first start competing? MKC: In an effort to swim at a competitive level,
I teamed up with the Illinois Attorney General’s Office and Equip for Equality. Together we forced the Illinois High School Association to create opportunities for disabled swimmers to compete at the state championship level. As a result of this, six other girls and I were the first athletes with disabilities in Illinois history to compete at a state championship swim meet.
VIVE: What do you consider to be one of your greatest accomplishments and why? MKC: Racing in the World Triathlon Circuit in 2014, including World Championships. I was able to represent the USA in five different races all over the world last summer to accumulate enough points to race at World Championships. There’s something about being around athletes at these races who all have the same goal that inspires me to keep going in this sport.
Photos courtesy of MARY KATE CALLAHAN
VIVE: What has been your biggest challenge? MKC: I’m always striving to educate the public
that paralympic athletes are just like Olympic athletes; we put in the same effort in training, and we compete just as much as every other athlete. The media has been doing a better job in getting that message across the U.S., but there are still further steps that need to be taken.
(Above) Callahan pushes forward in the New York City Triathlon. Soon after, she took home the third place prize. (Left) Callahan receives a kiss from her mother, Joanne Callahan, after winning first place in the ITU World Paratriathlon Event in Chicago, Illinois.
VIVE: What is the best advice you’ve received? MKC: Love what you’re doing! I have always
said the more you enjoy what you’re doing, the more success you’ll have in that area of your life. There are so many things in this world, so find something that makes you smile, and find that fire inside your heart!
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yourLIFE
your relationship ISN’T EVERYTHING Your BF or GF should only be one part of your life
By CARLEY MEINERS You’ve certainly heard that high school isn’t the most important period of your life. Yet, when I was there, it felt pretty significant. Even though I had a strong relationship with my family, my friends were more important. Worse, I was obsessed with boys. I’m talking check my phone every five seconds to see who texted me. I would hang out with my boyfriend more than I would my friends. When I couldn’t see him for the weekend, I would cry. You would have thought the world was ending. I spent too much time trying to please boys. Looking back, I wish I had been wiser. Here’s what I would tell my high school self. First of all, spending too much time making someone else happy, oftentimes before I made myself happy, is unhealthy. There was instances where my boyfriend was peeved at me for whatever reason, and I was so afraid he would dump me. Ultimately, I was trying to make a boy happy who was flirting with my friends behind my back. How horrible, right!? Spoiler alert: he didn’t last, and neither did the rest of my crushes. So why didn’t I concentrate more on my friends, family and me? First of all, it wasn’t cool to hang out with my family a lot. I love my family, and honestly when I come home from college, I spend more time with my family than actually seeing my old friends. But in high school, I just wanted out. I don’t think there is anything wrong with exploring other relationships with your significant other or your best friends, but family will always be around through it all. The only thing I wish I had more time for after I left from school is my little sister. Once I moved out, she suddenly grew up. Don’t get me wrong — my current boyfriend is one of the most important things in my life, but what’s different now is the amount he pushes me to be my own person. The first agreement we made when we first started dating was that we wouldn’t lose friends because of our relationship. This meant that even if it were Saturday night, it wasn’t an assumption that we were hanging out. It means I don’t have to feel bad for spending time with my friends. It means I don’t have to feel bad for enjoying my spring break with my family instead of him. It means I don’t have to feel bad about having my own life. Strong relationships with the people I’m close with in my life are what keeps me going. It’s all about balance. Every relationship I have, whether it’s my boyfriend, my mom or my best friend, is important in meaningful ways. I call my mom when I need someone to tell me realistic life advice. I call my best friend to listen when someone is being stupid. I call my boyfriend when I need someone to unconditionally listen to me cry. Although, ultimately, your relationship will be a top priority in your life, your friends and family shouldn’t feel left behind. There’s more to life than falling in love. Your relationship will strengthen when you have an independent life. High school is important. It’s where I discovered that I wanted to be a journalist. Without it, I wouldn’t be here talking to you. I just wish I stopped obsessing about boys and focused more on making myself happier.
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i spent a lot of time in high school trying to please boys.
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yourlife how to have
MAJOR success
Figuring out what you want to do for the rest of your life can seem scary. But it doesn’t have to be!
By CARLEY MEINERS
It’s scary to pick a degree, especially with everything else that comes during senior year of high school. Here are some tips that’ll make the initial jump into a major less intimidating. First of all, up to 50 percent of people enter college undecided, and while finishing their degree, 75 percent of people will change their major at least once, according to Penn State’s academic advising journal The Mentor. So, you are not alone or stuck in a field that you can’t get out of once you’ve made a decision. In high school, passions were often extracurricular activities. In college, they become the career route you take. Examine your passions and put them to use. When you’re excited about a topic, the motivation to actually do the classwork comes easier. Don’t think you are stuck in one career for the rest of your life. Oftentimes, a degree is not limited to one field or path. Journalism, for instance, can result in working for virtually any type of company that needs a strong writer rather than just a reporting job. You never know where you end up.
take a diverse course load. Stray away from taking all classes in one area. Add variety into your schedule to discover what you do and don’t like. Take sociology classes or anatomy to see if any of the fields suits your interests. That’s what college is for.
If you think you know what you want to do, join a club.
Photo by JORDAN RICHARDS
College is for exploring your niche. Join a club or two to discover new ideas about a field. Clubs often hold discussion panels for career advice from upperclassmen. Those sessions will help you understand what comes next and how to plan. Also, a lot of the time there’s FREE FOOD.
Peek inside your campus’ career center. There are so many facilities on campus that offer great advice and amenities that too many students don’t take advantage of. Some career centers offer quizzes and resources to help you discover a few fields that lie within your interests and strengths. Bonus: in the future they can help you write cover letters and edit your resume.
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Still undecided? Don’t worry. Many degree plans
don’t allow you to enter into your emphasis until your junior year. Students switch around their first two years, and colleges know this. There is still time to figure out what you want to be when you grow up. Just remember, college is more than academics. Have a little fun too, and maybe a major will unexpectedly fall into your lap.
Check out these sites Big Future by College Board
The site tells you how to make the most out of high school.
College Majors 101
Not only can you get an explanation on what the major actually entails, but the site also offers explanations from different universities across the nation as well as a list of schools that are accredited for that degree.
The Princeton Review
Find your perfect major and college while receiving counseling all in one place. This site will help you understand more about the college search process.
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All kinds of hair—straight, curly, dark, light—are beautiful. Dove recently gave a shout out to all the curly girls out there, and we’re loving it. Nothing beats the feeling you get after a great run or volleyball practice. A strong body is a beautiful body. Work those muscles, girl! Thigh gaps are just unrealistic. Even Kelly Clarkson doesn’t have one. Being confident about your body is contagious. Pass your positive thinking on to your friends.
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TODAY
In a world of full of airbrushed models, fad diets and the unattainable thigh gap, it’s easy to be hard on yourself about your looks. But if you’re not an airbrushed model —don’t worry. That’s completely normal. This issue’s VIVE List shows you the power to love your body the way it is. By CIERA VELARDE
A healthy body is so much more important than trying to fit into a smaller size of jeans.
Doing well in school, perfecting your sport, or hanging out with friends are activities that are more productive than obsessing about your weight. Food is delicious, and it fuels your body. Say yes to that donut after a really tough week. One fluffy piece of goodness won’t kill you.
If everyone looked the same, life would be really boring. Your unique body, whether naturally skinny or curvy, is worth being appreciated.
As Bruno Mars so perfectly croons, “You’re amazing, just the way you are.”
PHOTOS COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES
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Celebrities such as Demi Lovato and Mindy Kaling are embracing their bodies and focusing on being amazing women. As Kaling said in Vogue last year, “I’m constantly in a state of selfimprovement, but I don’t beat myself up over it.”
reasons to EMBRACE
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