Listening in a Way that Recognizes/Realizes the World of the "Other."

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THE INTL. JOURNAL OF LISTENING, 23: 21-43, 2009 Copyright © Taylor & Francis Group, LLC ISSN: 1090-4018 print/ 1932-586X online DOI: 10.1080/10904010802591904

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Listening in a Way that Recognizes/Realizes the World of 'the Other' John Shotter Department of Communication University of New Hampshire

Usually, in our talk with others, we listen for opportunities to express our own point of view, to add it to or to contrast it with theirs. Ethically and politically, we feel we have a right for our voice to be heard. V/hile we can be satisfied that we have managed to "say what's on our mind," there are reasons for thinking that even then, what we have managed to say and what the others have heard from us, may still not put those around us fully "in touch," so to speak, with what our world is in fact like for us. Drawing on work from Bakhtin (1986), Voloshinov (1986. 1987), Wittgenstein (1953), MerleauPonty (1962), and Todes (2(X)I), I want to explore a very different form of listening, a form of listening that not only goes with a particular way of responsive talking—a way of seeking in one's talk to afford one's interlocutors opportunities to tell of, and to explore further, events and experiences that have mattered to them in their lives—but which can arouse within them a distinctive and recognizable "feeling of being heard." All these issues are fundamentally ethical issues in the sense that: If I need you in order to be me, if my appearance in the human world as another person of worth depends upon your responsiveness to my expressions, then, strange though it may seem, ethical values are prior to, not a consequence of, our knowledge of the others and othernesses around us. But what is it to respect the uniqueness of what can be heard in another's voice (as well as what can be heard in one's own voice)?

Monologism, al its extreme, denies the existence outside itself of another consciousness with equal rights and equal responsibilities, another I with equal rights (thou). With a monotogic approach (in its extreme pure form) another person remains wholly and merely an object of consciousness, and not another consciousness. No response is expected from it that could change anything in the world of my

Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to John Shotter, Emeritus Professor of Communication. Department of Communication, University of New Hampshire, Durham, NH 03824-3586. E-mail: jds@hypatia.unh.edu


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