the child left behind

By Emily Sirtak

Web Editor-In-Chief

The signs of leaving were all around. Their stacks of packed boxes, college letters, checklists and final plans with friends all lined up. Observing from the background feels powerless as they pack up the car and speed off to the new chapter of their life, and it can’t help feeling like

you’ve been left in the dust.

While college preparation is a stressful time for students entering, nobody considers the siblings dealing with the drastic changes at home without the support of their older sibling, no matter how close they were before the transition.

Junior Lex Hill had their sister, Lorelei Hill move away to Pennsylvania Western University, almost 11 hours away in California, this fall.

“I miss her so much and she’s always really busy with class so I never even get to FaceTime her, which is really sad,” Lex said. “I only get to talk to her about once a week if that and it was a really hard transition to go from seeing her every day to only seeing her over call every once in a while.”

Even before the transition, Lex felt the gradual fading of their sister’s presence in the household. Hill describes the transition of her sister leaving the house for college.

“She prepared us pretty well by working three jobs, being involved in theater and a ton of other clubs and activities,” Lex said. “Even though we were close, it felt like she was gone before she even left.”

Not only do younger siblings have to adjust to the loss of their sibling, they also have to adjust to the new family dynamic at home. Lex describes the changes in their parents as they transitioned into a house with one less kid.

“My mom’s been really clingy since she’s such an affectionate person and she lost one of her kids to give affection to,” Lex said. “My dad’s pretty much the same, but he’s annoyed that she won’t be able to visit very often.”

Though the dynamic of their relationship has

Moving on Those left behind struggle after older siblings leave home

Illustration by Emily Sirtak

shifted, Lorelei Hill also conveys the same sadness she feels about not being able to see her sibling.

“It’s only been three months and I feel like we are still in the transition; I don’t think for either of us it has really set in that we probably won’t ever live together again,” Lorelei said.

Lorelei cherishes every call with Lex between balancing classes, jobs and living in a new state. Through the months, their communication has become a big priority between the both of them. “Lex always calls and shows me our dog Hazel because they know that I miss my little puppy,” Lorelei said. “I get lots of updates on these calls, Lex’s life has changed so much and these facetimes have become really important to me.”

Though the distance between siblings can have a huge impact on household life and family dynamics, the move to college can be a difficult transition, no matter how far away the sibling moved.

Senior Dominic Debro’s brother, Devin Debro, went to study at Lindenwood in the fall of 2021 and still lives at the house, yet the closeness of the brothers has shifted. Debro describes the natural lack of communication that simply going to separate schools has had on their relationship.

“My brother and I used to hang out all the time and it definitely was disappointing not hanging out as much anymore,” Debro said. “Even though he still lives with us, it’s hard to find time, but I realize that it has to be like that because he’s growing up.”

The two years Debro has had to get used to the transition has made him realize the importance of distance and moving past the same family dynamics of before. Debro now accepts the fact that he’s

not as close with his brother and understands the importance of moving on.

“Over time I’ve realized that you have to let go. Everyone has their own path and you can’t change that,” Debro said. “They will always be your sibling, they’ll still think about you but at the end of the day, they’re moving on and it’s important to let go and support their new path of life.”

“It’s only been three months and I feel like we are still in the transition; I don’t think for either of us it has really set in that we probably won’t ever live together again.”

Lorelei Hill, 2022 graduate