How to be a man
Societal pressures harm development of expression
S For an interactive mood wheel, scan the QR for more information and resources
ociety’s definition of masculinity is the blueprint for every man. For a male to act appropriately, they must follow a series of traits many consider unnatural and unhealthy, including suppressing emotions like sadness, fear and anxiety because they are not considered to be “manly.” To exert any other emotions than the ones considered manly is against the standards given to men by society. The effects of this have led men to feel they cannot experience any other emotions other than anger. Suppressing emotions, especially healthy ones, can lead to additional stress, anxiety and emotional outbursts. What I fail to understand is why suppressing emotions is desirable? At this point, I do not think it is something men
Flower chart sharing the connections between emotions and where they come from. Graphic from Wikipedia.
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Tiger Times
Kristen Rummel
rummekri000@hsestudents.org
do anymore. Bad emotional habits develop in childhood, to reprogram themselves so that they appear emotionless. Why? Emotions are what make us human. Without them we are not any more complex than a rock. Our brains are capable of creating and understanding powerful emotions. Emotions can be so strong. Our emotions are what gives us drive and set us apart from other species. Emotions are not weak, given that some emotions are portrayed as masculine, but the phrase “emotional” has a negative connotation. This passion is so powerful that it has powered entire missions, companies and feats that seemed unlikely. To feel emotions is to be human. While most people agree that emotions are normal, even people outside the pressures of toxic masculinity feel ashamed of too much emotion. Suppressing such powerful emotions at such a young age also leads to much more detrimental effects later in life. According to a study conducted by Michigan State University, men were much more likely to have violent outbursts from stress. Cisgender men also seem to have fewer people to confide in
their emotions to. According to Brown University, men simply do not share their emotions often enough to feel comfortable sharing with their peers. Toxic masculinity also affects the people around it negatively. According to the World Health Organization, men are being uplifted by gender norms and hold it over women and children. Behaviors like this can increase the likelihood of men’s perpetration of violence against women and children. In the past 25 years, programs and interventions have been created to bring attention to these harmful habits. But the struggle continues when the entire media has to unlearn these habits. Society has to unlearn the “macho” mindset to be vulnerable. To show our emotions is healthy and how we process and learn from them . Stop teaching young boys to suppress their emotions and start teaching them to learn from them. When people are taught how to learn from their emotions properly, this will help with several childhood and adult problems, like bullying, stress, and selfimage. It is important to remember masculinity is not inherently bad. One can create their own standards of what is and is not masculine. How you want to portray yourself is up to you, not the standards set by the media and gender roles. Instead of hiding emotions in an attempt to portray a more masculine front we should hope to create our own individuality. Work towards it and help others share their emotions to create their own definitions.
November 2021
