No. 001
FIELDNOTES small amusements may 2014
FIELDNOTES art through collection
Issue No. 1 small amusements Field Notes exists to document the expressions and art that collect over the course of our experiences. This preliminary issue features visual art and words by Alexa Masi, edited and formatted by the artist. The issue centers on self encourgaement, artistic motivation, and the process of becoming a gentler person.
draw the line // draw the circle
every challenge challenge that that frightens frightens you you is is built built from from small, simple parts every small, simple simple parts parts every challenge that frightens you is built from small, every challenge that frightens you is built from small, simple parts
1. read more without discretion. 2. don’t force anything. 3. absorb so much material that it rings in your ears. 4. be proud of everybody for something (ask them about how they did it). 5. find a place that makes you forget what the city feels like. 6. don’t feel compelled to share that space with anybody (but feel grateful when you do). 7. be responsible. 8. take care of others. 7. show them things in small ways with high frequency. 8. speak carefully and considerately. 9. understand what it means when someone corrects you. 10. don’t be afraid.
ENTIRE I had a dream about coins falling out of pockets. I had a dream about losing all of my baby teeth. I had a dream that I misplaced something and my hands were too heavy to search for it. Ask me where I set my glasses down. I learned to stop borrowing things from others because I can’t expect someone else to know better about me. Ask me if I can remember the last place I saw my glasses. I put them under the coffee table because when I was laying on the floor it seemed to be the safest place. Eventually I figured that out. I found them. I have them. I have your eyes on the copper coins of sunlight dropped onto the water. I have your teethmarks on an apple core in the trash bag. I have come to realize that I am not misplacing things but I am calling them by something else. I have everything you ever gave me but I gave it all the wrong names. I am looking at you and thinking about your whole life instead of calling it half of mine. I am looking at it and now I will not set it down. entire entire entire
e n t i re n t i r e entire e n t i re n t i r e
entire
entire
i went to see the sea today and people stood with conches closed like tombs around their ears, listening closely-heads cocked like dogs at master’s beck, conches to their ears while they stand on the beach, while they stand right beside the sea, whose open mouth moans at their feet.
g ee n n tt ll ee g ge nt le w i t h d o g s be c au s e they a re c o u n t i n g o n y our p ati enc e. ge nt le w i t h ch i l d r e n b e c a us e they a re l e ar n i n g i n a ver y loud s p ac e. g n g eee n n ttt lll eee g g g ee n n tt ll ee gentle
ge nt le w i t h s e as h e l l s b e c aus e they a r e o f t e n c ar r i e d a ver y long way. g ee n ntle g g e n tt ll ee g g ee n n tt ll ee gentle
ge n t l e w i t h b o o k p a ge s bec aus e they a r e w o r k i n g l o n ge r than y ou.
a n d s o,
gentle with yourself.
gentle gentle gentle gentle
MANUAL I. tell somebody you feel less engaged with your surroundings lately. restrain yourself from investing too deeply. admire your own supposed self-control without acknowledging masochism. try to come up with the most depraved truth you can claim about yourself and say it to the person sitting opposite you at dinner. watch something begin sparking behind their eyes. try to guess at what it could be. develop voyeuristic tendencies when presented with intensely emotional situations. ask yourself if you feel meaningfully connected to your closest friend. recite the sincerest sentiments you feel towards them until it becomes a performance. wonder why you never decided it would be a good time to start taking care of yourself.
fig. a: sharp
fig. b: smooth
II. agitate the last person who told you they loved you. transfer some of your restless unease onto them without asking permission first. think that something has it out for you. do everything you can to help it along. manage to listen carefully the next time someone asks you to take it easy. start to miss them whenever it feels warm outside. feel grateful for the pleasant weather. appreciate the simplest flicker of tenderness in your stomach. decide to tell someone how they look to you. wonder if it’s true that organic love will only rot and soften. create your own momentum. never feel guilty about your own affections. being soft will always work out for you anyway.
FIELDNOTES art through collection
for inquiries // submissions: fieldnotesmag@gmail.com
No. 001 may 2014