The 48 Laws of Virtue Revealing the Wealth and Richness in Every Woman
Copyright Š 2014 J.D. Lee Scripture quotations and references are taken from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or in electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in review. Published by Two Pennies Publishing 4503 Green Meadow Dr. / Suite #1 McKinney, Texas 75070 Two Pennies Publishing is a division of Region Media Group, Dallas Texas. ISBN 123-4567-891-0 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publishing Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Acknowledgements From the many experiences I have encountered throughout my life, most notable the 10 years I spent living with my mother, while she recuperated from a sudden divorce, the fundamental basis for this book was birthed. Those were the dark years of her life and I was thrust into a situation of providing both financial and emotional support for the woman who brought me into this world. It’s been many years since that time and recently my mother turned 80 years young. In my view, she is one of the best examples of virtue that I have seen in a woman. She fought through the stain of being a divorced woman and recaptured the essence of beauty that always was within her. I salute her for being a woman of extraordinary virtue. Thanks Mom! There have been other women in my life who have also blessed me with the gift of virtuousness, most notably my darling wife. And yes, I am a bit biased and rightfully so. You see when you have been exposed to the real thing; you just don’t want to settle for anything else. She has been more than just a wife to me; she has been a friend, a mother to our three children, a partner in business and an advocate for everything that I have ever attempted to do. We have been married now for 18 years and every day I see a new facet of the virtue within her. She has been patient with me as I have grown as a man and has been a support for the purpose that I believe I was created to fulfill. She is as much a part of my destiny as the stars are a part of the heavens. I also salute her for being a woman of extraordinary virtue. Thanks Babe!
Also, to the two young ladies who have been the rays of hope on many dark days in my life. I speak of my two daughters, who are the ages of 10 and 15. In the world we live in there are many young ladies who will never have the luxury of having a father around. But you could also say that there are a lot of fathers who may never have the opportunity to have their daughters exemplify the grace and virtue that is only reserved for queens and royalty. I have been the latter and for this I am eternally grateful. I also salute them for being young ladies of extraordinary virtue. Thanks Sweeties! Finally, I could list a plethora of other women who have also played a major role in my life and who have none-theless embodied the essence of great virtue. From my lovely mother-in-Law to my one and only sister and my nieces, cousins, friends and mentors who have been the women of virtue I needed in my life to help me become the man that I am and for many women to become the vessels of virtue they have become. I salute the extraordinary virtue in all of you. Thanks Ladies! J.D. Lee
Table of Contents PREF AC E FOREWORD
PART ONE: THE BEGINNING Law #1 Law #2 Law #3 Law #4 Law #5 Law #6
Never Be Too Accessible Maintain the Highest Level of Self-Worth Trust Is Never an Issue with You Cause Others to Become Fulfilled and Enriched Be Generous and Kind, Always Create Longevity and Sustainability
PART T WO: T HE UNITING Law #7 Law #8 Law #9 Law #10 Law #11 Law #12
Seek Only the Best and Avoid Cheap Imitations Do the Work That Others Aren’t Willing To Do Go Where No One Has Dared To Go Before No Distance Is Too Far to Go to Get What You Need Learn to Love Being a Morning Person Come Through For Those Who Depend On You
PART THREE: THE PERFECTING Law #13 Law #14 Law #15 Law #16 Law #17 Law #18
Credit Those Who Work Behind the Scenes Be Savvy When Negotiating Terms of the Deal Only Pull the Trigger When the Time Is Right Grow Your Assets by Making Wise Investments Surround Yourself With People Who Enrich You Be Physically, Mentally and Spiritually Fit
PART FOUR: THE CREATIVITY Law #19 Law #20 Law #21 Law #22 Law #23 Law #24
Know the Value of What You Bring to the Table Sleep With One Eye Closed and One Eye Open Be Proficient In the Science of Home Economics Be Ambidextrous Never Be Afraid To Get Your Hands Dirty Appeal To the Strength in Others, Not Their Weakness
PART FIVE: THE GRACE Law #25 Law #26 Law #27 Law #28 Law #29 Law #30
Prepare In Advance for the Next Seasons of Life Make Sure Those in Your Care Are Well Protected Make Statements by Creating Your Own Style Represent Yourself Like The Royalty You Are Promote Others and Build Their Circles of Influence Never Be Afraid of the Social Power of Others
PART S IX : T HE FR AG IL ITY Law #31 Law #32 Law #33 Law #34 Law #35 Law #36
Do Everything with a Spirit of Excellence Promote, Market and Build Your Brand Build Bridges That Allow You to Create Wealth Strengthen Relations with Character and Integrity Always Smile, Even When It Hurts Be Like E.F. Hutton
PART SEVEN: THE COMPLETING Law #37 Law #38 Law #39 Law #40 Law #41 Law #42
Give Counsel with a Heart of Compassion Handle Your Business at Home Avoid Conversations With Gossipers Be the Example That Others Look to Follow Be Gracious When People Speak Highly of You Never Deny Someone the Opportunity to Bless You
PART EIGHT: THE BIRTHING Law #43 Law #44 Law #45 Law #46 Law #47 Law #48
You Are Not the Only Woman of Virtue If You Can’t Outsmart Them, Outclass Them Use Your Inward Beauty to Draw People In Make Sure That People See the God in You Get Everything That You Deserve Out of Life Let Your Life Speak For Itself
Preface
There’s nothing worse than the feeling that you are not being valued when you know what you bring to the table. For women, this can be a most unbearable emotion that can cause them to self-destruct before they ever get started on the journey to fulfilling their purpose and destiny. On the other hand, the woman who becomes empowered by what she understands and knows about herself can lead to a life of fulfillment and being fulfilled. There’s nothing more powerful that a woman who knows her worth and refuses to allow other people to define, her value based on their low appraisal of her. A woman who has the revelation of who she truly is cannot be stopped. She can do anything in life she sets out to do. She can overcome most any obstacle she faces. And she can withstand the storms of life to one day see the horizon of her dreams pierce through the rain and clouds of negativity and pessimism. The 48 Laws of Virtue helps women discover some of the nuggets of wisdom that can help them harness the power within them. The laws are derived from of the most discussed passages in the most popular book of all time, the book of Proverbs. In the 31st chapter we have a portion of text that has been the basis for countless discussions on the Virtuous Woman. This prototype of a woman has been the gold standard for thousands of years and the text lends a masterful rendering from the mind of King Solomon, who some have argued was the wisest man who ever lived.
Beginning at the 10th verse and lasting through the rest of the chapter, the reader goes on a journey of capturing moments in the life of a woman who masters the art of home life, social life, business life, marriage life and her faith life. She does it all with such a level of ease and eloquence that one has to wonder, what is her secret? Well, in The 48 Laws of Virtue, you will see verse by verse how she does it. The book takes those timeless words and puts them into actual working principles that can be used in today’s world for any person, but especially a woman seeking to discover the virtue within her soul. This book can be used as a tool for any person looking to utilize laws of success that can empower their life, period. The principles contained are not gender sensitive, although for the sake of this book, it has a definite overtone that leans toward women. Virtue is a word that simply means moral excellence. And the word law, although it does not have a universally accepted definition, it denotes something that can be used to create a cultural structure to build a society upon. The 48 Laws of Virtue will help you master moral excellence which can be used to create a culture of success in your life.
LAW #1 NEVER BE TOO ACCESSIBLE Who can find a virtuous woman‌ Proverbs 31:10a
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ne of the most interesting things about objects of great value is that they are not easily available to those who don’t have the means to acquire them. You would never want to equate yourself with an object, but rather the opposite. However, if an object can have a certain perceived value and it be hard to get, is it too much to think that you have within you something of extraordinary value and it must not be too readily available to every and anyone who seeks to have access to it?
The truth of the matter is that you have something of immense value within you that should not be made too readily available to those who seek the contents of what rests beneath the surface of the shell of your body. Many men will try to convince you to have a ‘sample’ or go for a ‘test drive’ so-to-speak, of what you possess as a way of trying to decide if they deem it good enough for their ongoing lustful desires. But the virtuous woman understands that she must not make herself too available to those who seek the plunder and pillage her most valuable goods. She knows that she is a treasure and like a vault, she stores her wealth deep within her soul. Her heart is a bridge of compassion to those to whom she serves, but she has a protective mechanism that alarms her of anyone who means her no good. On the contrary, many young women in today’s culture have been brainwashed and manipulated by a media machine that promotes all sorts of promiscuity in order to create a false sense of value in the mind of women. There are songs that are written to entice you to be some man’s sex toy. There are books, magazines and periodicals that promote all sorts of uncommitted, cross-gender, same gender and/or multi-gender lifestyles. And there are television shows that blatantly promote a warped view of women. Remember, it is called TV Programming for a very good reason. You are being programmed. So with all of the in your face barrage of ideologies that are in direct conflict with how God designed you, guard your thoughts in order to counter the attack on your mind. Keep yourself in a place of exclusivity. Do not allow men, or boys for that matter, to access the hidden treasures of virtue within you. You will do well to learn patience and build even more character within you until the time is right for you to become one with the man of your dreams.
LAW #2 MAINTAIN THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF SELF-WORTH ‌for her worth is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10b
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hen God made us, we were made without flaw. We are born into this world as innocent as they come. Remember the first time you looked at a newly born child and saw the virtue in their little eyes? Then they grow up and their character and personality start to develop. But for some, a funny thing begins to happen. That once innocent, angelic child has now grown older and life issues begin to stain the pureness once within them. In many cases they act out unresolved issues from their childhood.
There are several areas of our inner psychological makeup that help us identify our overall self-worth. These areas can make or break the trajectory of your future and they will definitely shape how you approach the pursuit of your purpose and destiny. #1 SELF-ESTEEM: A confidence and satisfaction in oneself. – Merriam-Webster. The word esteem denotes the view or opinion which others hold of you. So when we talk about self-esteem, we are dealing with an area of our mindset towards ourselves. Do you think good things about yourself? Do you have power over the negative viewpoints of others towards you? And, do you have the ability to think yourself happy? These are questions that must be answered and dealt with in the affirmative. #2 SELF-RESPECT: Regard for one’s own standing or position. – Merriam-Webster. Respect is something that every woman must have in order to excel. But there is nothing worse than a woman who settles for the crumbs of respect while giving away the loaf. It was Aretha Franklin who said it in her song. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Listen to a portion of the lyrics: “All I'm askin' (ooh) - Is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit) - Baby (just a little bit), when you get home (just a little bit) - Yeah (just a little bit).” OK ladies, I know you’ve sung that song countless times, but NEWSFLASH… you don’t deserve a ‘little bit’ of respect, you deserve and must demand ALL of it. #3 SELF-CONFIDENCE: Confidence in one’s own powers and abilities. – Merriam-Webster. The word confidence denotes having a state of certainty. You must be confident, bold and certain at all times when it comes to defining the woman that you are. Arrogance will get you nowhere but confidence will lift you above the fray of naysayers. It will cause you to excel while other settle.
LAW #3 TRUST IS NEVER AN ISSUE WITH YOU The heart of her husband safely trusts her… Proverbs 31:11a
T
rust is one of those words that is so loosely thrown around these days. Often both men and women use the word when seeking to garner the approval of someone they want in their corner. Don’t you trust me? It’s a question that has been asked countless times. The answer however, cannot be found in mere words alone. But rather the essence of trust can only be found in the heart of the one in whom we seek trust from. If trust is really there, you will never have to ask the question.
It is only when there is a void of trust that the question ever has to be asked. Think of when you were a child. Your parents more than likely at some point placed you on top of the kitchen counter and when they said, “JUMP!” they evoked a response in you that caused you to depend on the trust you inherently had in them. You may have looked at them, then maybe looked down at the space between you and the ground, then looked back up at them; and then you just went for it and you jumped! But why did you do that? It’s because you trusted in them. They never said, “Come on, don’t you trust me?” No you didn’t. You just gave them a call to action and the trust they had in you already caused them to not even consider whether you would catch them or not. In fact it never even crossed their mind. Why? Because their life has not been yet tainted with the lies, manipulation, and trickery that many women have been exposed to, they could trust you without the need to be sold on whether you were trustworthy. They have a history of you holding them in your arms, feeding them, caring for them, changing their diapers, singing a lullaby to them as you put them to bed and meeting all of the their needs according to the riches in your heart. So why wouldn’t they trust you? But in order for adults to trust and be trusted, there has to be a reconciliation of the things in your life that have gone both right and wrong. Forgive those who have failed you and empower those who have helped you along the road of success. Your journey in life will require that you wisely discern who is to be trusted and who isn’t. But never let it be a question in someone else’s mind whether you can be trusted. Make sure that above all others, you are the one others look to when they can trust no one else. It is you who will hold the key to unlocking their potential to JUMP!
LAW #4 CAUSE OTHERS TO BE FULFILLED AND ENRICHED …so he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs 31:11b
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ave you ever went to a great five-star restaurant and felt like you had just been served by angels? Or how about one of those luxury movie theatres with the reclining chairs that comes with VIP treatment from the staff? You could say the same thing about that favorite day spa you love where they pamper you with body massages, pedicures, manicures, facials, etc. In all of these cases you were in an environment where the people serving you had an incentive to go the extra mile to make you feel like royalty.
There is a huge difference in these types of businesses versus the ordinary run of the mill company and it shows. In the same sense, there should be a huge difference in what people come to know and expect when they have the opportunity to be serve by you. People should have an appreciation for the care and concern that goes into whatever you have been blessed to do for them. When you understand who it is that you are ultimately representing, you take on an entirely different attitude. The woman of virtue takes great pride in the way that she carries herself, the way that she speaks to others, the way that she takes note of the little things that make their experience with her all the more enjoyable. When it comes to her family, her husband feels like he is being served by the staff at the Royal House of Windsor. Here children have the feeling that they are being cared for and looked after by the mother they hope to emulate when they grow up and become parents. She is a master of the art of creating balance between home and career as well. Here peers at work feel as though they are blessed whenever she is on an assignment that includes them. They feel a sense of belonging and family as though they have known her all of their lives. This is only possible when someone has a true gift of lifting others up and making them feel accepted, appreciated, wanted, and welcomed into their personal space. The majority of women who will remain single for the rest of their lives are in many cases those who make people run away, as opposed to run towards them. Do not be that woman, but be the woman who has the home in the neighborhood that all the children want to come and hang out at. Be the woman whose family feels as though they are being touched by an angel every day of their lives.
LAW #5 BE GENEROUS AND KIND, ALWAYS She does him good and not evil… Proverbs 31:12a
T
here is a woman spoken of in the book of I Kings in the Bible. She is not mentioned by name, but she is mentioned by title. She is the Queen of Sheba. King Solomon, among the many people that he entertained, gave audience to this woman on occasion when she came to seek out his wisdom. In I Kings 10:13a it says “Now King Solomon gave the queen of Sheba all she desired, whatever she asked, besides what Solomon had given her according to the royal generosity.” Why was Solomon so generous?
The answer is simple. She was blessed by the King because it was she who was the first partaker in being generous to the King. It says in I Kings 10:10b that “There never again came such abundance of spices as the queen of Sheba gave to King Solomon.” You see for the good or the bad, the laws of reciprocity work every time. Whatever you put out into the atmosphere is what you are sure to get back. In other words, if you have a bad attitude and you are the type of person who struggles to get along with people, don’t be surprised when you don’t have a lot of friends. But if you are the type of person who is generous with showing people the love, care and compassion that serves them well, you will more than likely be a person who earns the right of passage to many great friendships. There are countless other scriptures and writing throughout history that bear witness to substantiate the fact that generous people are the most happy people and happy people are the most healthy people and healthy people are the most blessed people. Being a generous person does not mean that you flagrantly give away your resources to anyone who has their hand out either. With being generous comes the task of being a responsible giver. If someone is in need and you meet that need, but you help them at the expense of your own family going without, then you may need to re-assess your practice of generous giving. However, if you have the means and the wherewithal to give without endangering the quality of life of those who you have been entrusted to care for, then it would not hurt you to be generous where there is a need. Remember, when you are kind and generous to the poor, you are lending unto God. So when all others turn their backs on those who are poor and when your family has a need that you can meet, be generous.
LAW #6 CREATE LONGEVITY AND SUSTAINABILITY ...all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12b
I
f you are going to have a lasting impact on the world around you, there are some things that you are going to want to be mindful of concerning your longevity. In the Bible there are numerous instances that we know of where men lived to be 900 plus years old. Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. Jared lived to be 962 years old. Noah lived to be 950 years old. Adam lived to be 930 years old. Seth lived to be 912 years old. Kenan lived to be 910 years old. Enoch 905 lived to be years old.
Now this is all well and good that men lived this long, but one would beg to ask the question, how long did their wives live? Well in the Bible we don’t have many recorded instances where women are noted for their age. But it stands to reason that if these men were living to be that old, they must have had some awesome wives who were just as old, if not older themselves. Sara, the wife of Abraham, after being barren most of her life, was 90 years old when she had her first baby. Ironically it is Sara who is the oldest listed women in the Bible at death. She died at the ripe old age of 127 years old. Now we know that since those days, the life span of humans has been significantly reduced for a number of reasons, of which we will not go in to in this book. But suffice it to say that creating an atmosphere where you can live and others around you can live in a state of being sustained in their longevity is a good thing. In recent years the word prosperity has gotten a bad rap, especially by wrong thinking people. But the truth of the matter is that prosperity is the key to longevity. In 3 John 1:2 it says “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” When you are prosperous, you are in a state of good health and good wealth. You could have all the money in the world, but if you didn’t have the health to enjoy it, you would be the poorest person in the world. The woman of virtue understands that she must be mindful of the things that she and her family eat as well as what they don’t eat. Dieting is a carrot on the end of a stick that will never create the best mentality for longevity. But a proper eating lifestyle is a better way of thinking and along with physical fitness, it can be part of a long-term strategy for living life to the fullest.