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A helping hand at Xmas by Stephen Hagan 25 December 2013
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s we immerse ourselves in the wonderment of Christmas today - after unwrapping presents of divergent shapes and values (but who’s counting) and now, around midmorning, readying ourselves for an overindulgent sumptuous lunch – let’s spare a thought for those less fortunate. We all have relatives or friends this time of the year who are incarcerated, institutionalized in acute psychiatric wards, homeless on the streets or simply at home without family or friends by design or by unfortunate painful circumstances. If you don’t have a relative or friend who fall into one of these tragic dispositions – as a First Nations person – then you are a statistical anomaly by sheer weight of our overrepresentation. Let’s also spare a thought for families who are together at home during the festive season – especially on Christmas Day – who are doing so under sufferance because Mum or Dad, or both, have less to put under the Christmas tree or on the table for lunch for the family as a consequence of being long term unemployed, being made redundant at work or have an addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or continue to have interpersonal high risk conflict that contribute to a dsyfunctional home. Perhaps one of the children or live-in relatives – the ones who came for a couple of days and never got the message to leave – has everyone on edge with a propensity to cause embarrassment to themselves or to deliberately create angst within the household because ‘if I can’t be happy by getting my
Family get-together with cousin John Barton (his mother and my grandfather have the same father) and sons for Christmas in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (a Muslim country) in 2011. Back (l to r) Rhonda, Stephen Jnr, Fraser and Sam. Front (l to r) Stephen, Jayde, Hugh and John. Image: Rhonda Hagan
act together, then no one else will be’ type attitude. Then there are many First Nations people who don’t celebrate Christmas Day like the majority of us do and have done all our lives, because of an abhorrence of the commerciality of what the day has come to represent, or because their religion or personal belief is at variance with the notion of celebrating the birth of Jesus. As we dust ourselves off later today and plan for a day on the couch watching the Boxing Day Test tomorrow, planning a session at the cinema watching The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug or whatever it is that tickles your fancy, let’s not lose focus of relatives or friends who are doing it tough and will continue to face challenging times ahead. Poor choices in life, mental illness, living with an addiction and staying in an unhealthy relationship out of fear or insecurity are among a raft of challenges some family members and friends will need help with to be steered in the right direction to a better, happier and untroubled life. So let’s all have a wonderful time with our families today and whilst
blessing our food over lunch, offer a blessing to someone we know who’s doing it very tough. Perhaps one of our New Year resolutions – other than saving more money and losing those excess kilos we’ve accumulated over the festive season or over the past couple of years – can be to do something tangible to help a family member or friend in need. The tangible assistance could be in the form of visiting those family members or friends in prison or mental institution, in their favourite hangout in the park or as they sit alone at home. You might care to offer advice or steer them in the right direction to address their gambling, alcohol or drug addiction that got them in trouble in the first place. If it’s an anger management problem perhaps a suggestion that they join a men’s group or women’s group to find solutions that’s become all consuming and dangerous for them. Your advice may not be the silver bullet or panacea to solving their ills, but it will demonstrate to those family members or friends in need that you care about their wellbeing during this festive season.
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