Dear Saints at First Pres, What a special issue of the First Pres Magazine this is! The Bible repeatedly extols us to take care of widows and orphans. This invitation is in Isaiah, Deuteronomy, Jeremiah, the Psalms, Luke, Acts, and James to name just a few. There is no doubt that God wants us to take care of these little ones. In Psalm 68:5, the Psalmist says God is “A father to the fatherless.” Perhaps most well-known is the quote on the cover, the admonition in James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.” This issue is all about orphans and in particular those who have been adopted in our community here at First Pres. Many of you are familiar with Hope & Home, a Colorado Springs foster care agency. What may not be familiar to you is that Hope & Home was started 14 years ago by a group in our Pathfinders Sunday School. Strongly supported by individuals in our First Pres family, Hope & Home continues to minister to kids and families today. Read about it on page 4. In this issue you will also find the family stories of several in our community who have adopted children both in this country and from other countries. These stories include special-needs children, children of young, single mothers, children from war-torn and disease-ridden countries. Some of these adoptions have included relationships with the birth mom and children whose moms and dads have died from AIDS or are incarcerated. These children are the “least of these,” and their stories are heart-rending. Not everyone is called to foster or adopt children. It is a special calling that takes constant and deep prayer. This is a process and a life-changing decision that creates abiding trust in the Lord. It is a beautiful act of selflessness to give any child a family that he or she otherwise would not have. It is rewarding, and it is difficult. Sara and I are adoptive parents ourselves, and we have experienced both joy and challenge in that process. Friends, we are all called in our own ways to protect children. We are called to bring the children of this church up in the faith. We need to be in mission with our children. My challenge to us all is to invest in the lives of every child around you; your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, neighborhood children, Compassion Children and every child we encounter. Let us pray for all those families who have been called to take the extra step of taking care of those children who need a family to call home. I look forward to seeing you all in June.
In Christ,
Jim Singleton, Senior Pastor First Presbyterian Church of Colorado Springs
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JUNE 2012 contents Until There Are None . . . . . . . . . . 4 Christine Dellacroce God is in the Miracle Business . . . . . . 6 Stories of Foster and Adoption Solo Gratia: Grace Alone . . . . . . . . 12 Junior McGarrahan Connecting with Children for 140 Years . 14 Dale McClure
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Contributing Writers: Holly Aldridge, Paul Batura, Megan Bunka, Christine Dellacroce, Monet Martin, Dale McClure, Junior McGarrahan, Ina Meyer, Megan Nilsen Contributing Editors: Becky Armstrong, Alison Murray Graphic Design: Beryl Glass Photographers: Katie Brase, Sean Sheridan
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Proofreading Team: Mary Bauman, Christine Dellacroce, Betty Haney, Daisy Jackson, Marty Kelley, Karen Kunstle, Linda Pung All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, © 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. First Pres Magazine June 2012, Volume Four, © First Presbyterian Church of Colorado Springs, CO. Published by First Presbyterian Church, a non-profit organization. To contact First Pres Magazine: 719-884-6231 or 219 E. Bijou Street, Colorado Springs, CO 80903-1392 or magazine@first-pres.org. Printed in the U.S.A. We welcome volunteer writers, photographers, editors and proofreaders to the magazine team! Contact Becky Armstrong at becky.armstrong999@gmail.com if you are interested.
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By Christine Dellacroce
Total number of foster children awaiting adoption in U.S.: 107,000 Total number of churches in U.S.: 348,000 If 1/3 of America’s churches supported a foster adoption, every eligible child would have a Christian home, and be surrounded by a loving extended family. 4 | www.first-pres.org 6/12
ourteen years ago, First Pres member George Cresswell, M.D., a psychiatrist at Cedar Springs Hospital, noticed that many children staying there could not be released because they didn’t have homes to go to. Their parents were either in jail, missing or unable to provide a safe home with shelter, food, clothing and education. Dr. Cresswell wanted to find safe, nurturing homes for these kids, with parents who would love them as Jesus does. Several other First Pres members from Cresswell’s Pathfinders Sunday school class caught the vision. Gene and Carolyn Cosby, Cliff and Mary Anderson and George and Marcia Peacore signed up as mentors. They rented a tiny home from Judy Bell. Ray Wallander and his wife Carol were one of the first foster/adopt families ... and Hope & Home was started. From that godly dream and meager beginning has sprung a ministry rated by Colorado State University (2009) to achieve permanency for foster children sooner than any other foster care agency in Colorado. Today Hope & Home has nearly 100 foster parents nurturing approximately 125 kids. Most of Hope & Home’s board members are members of First Pres. One couple from our church, Ina and Tim Meyer, recently adopted beautiful Natalie through Hope & Home, after fostering her for two-and-a-half years (their story appears on p. 6). Hope & Home has a state-of-the-art facility at 4945 North 30th Street where foster and adoptive families come for training, support, resources and birth family visitations. The building’s interior was designed to be warm and inviting for the children and birth parents coming there for help. First Pres member Ross Wright, director and CEO of Hope & Home, says, “The number one job of every employee and volunteer is to act as an ambassador of Christ and make clients feel loved.” According to Ross Wright, the United States got rid of most orphanages and the
Statewide
6% get adopted
19% stay in foster care 75% return to parents or guardians
word ‘orphan’ back in the 1930’s, but they didn’t get rid of orphans. The orphans of today are the children in the foster care system. Colorado had approximately 7,000 foster children with over 365 eligible for adoption (as of Dec. 2010). In Colorado and across the country, local ministry Focus on the Family is also working to reduce the number of adoptable foster children. When the “Wait No More” program began in November 2008, Colorado had over 8,000 children in foster care and 800 were awaiting adoption. To date, more than 1,900 families have initiated the process of adoption from foster care through “Wait No More”, with nearly 600 of those in Colorado. This program offers prospective parents an opportunity to start the adoption process, learn about the needs of foster children, find
Hope & Home 21% get adopted
5% stay in foster care
75% return to parents or guardians
out how the state’s adoption process works and to get an unvarnished look at the problems parents might face. The substantial decrease in children available for adoption through Colorado’s foster care system is attributable to a strong partnership between a handful of faith-based adoption agencies, churches and the Colorado Dept. of Human Services. Their success is becoming a model for other states around the country. Neither Hope & Home nor “Wait No More” are going to stop until every child in Colorado has a loving home. God asks each of us to get involved and help in a different way. How is he guiding your heart? Christine Dellacroce has attended First Pres for over seven years. She is married to Brian Dellacroce and they have a fifteen year old daughter named Deborah.
Foster and Adoption Resources Hope & Home – 719-575-9887 or www.hopeandhome.org Wrapping around Adoptive Families (book) – Not every family is called to adopt, but we can all provide the support adoptive families need. Kids in Crisis (book) – Ross Wright explains the ‘Love to Nurture’ method used at H&H for training. “Wait No More” – Focus on the Family – www.waitnomoreonline.org Cry of the Orphan – (Collaborative adoption ministry of Focus on the Family, Family Life and Show Hope) www.cryoftheorphan.org Empowered to Connect – www.empoweredtoconnect.org/conferences/
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G OD IS IN THE MI
Many First Pres families have found God guiding them to foster and/or adopt children. Their worlds are being blessed and upended, often all at the same time! Enjoy reading their stories and consider joining in prayer and support, as they fulfill God’s call in nurturing these children.
Fostering Endurance By Ina Meyer
Ina, Tim and Natalie Meyer happily finalize the adoption.
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y husband Tim and I have been foster parents with Hope & Home for three years. We heard about Hope & Home through the Missions Department at First Pres. We had no children of our own and thought we might be willing to adopt a foster child. We have had five children in our home so far. It was a challenge learning to take care of children, but we found the hardest part to be letting them go. Our first two placements were with us for a short time, and then came Natalie. We picked her up from the hospital three days after she was born. Her case was pretty typical; parents who were drug users and who passed their addiction on to their unborn child. We loved her from the start and prayed that she might be ours forever. The case seemed to be heading in that direction with the birth mom disappearing and the birth father incarcerated. 6 | www.first-pres.org 6/12
However, after seven months a relative of Natalie’s showed up and wanted to take her. It was at this point we realized we were not in control and recognized that we weren’t trusting God in this situation. We had been trusting in the court system and in our own abilities. As the reality of losing her set in, our prayers changed from ‘let us keep her’ to ‘give us peace in giving her up.’ We got to know Natalie’s relative and in the end she decided that we were the right parents for her. This was not the opinion of her birth father. He eventually took the case to the state supreme court on a technicality, but after 1½ years of fighting, the court denied his appeal. During this long wait we also got a lesson in waiting on the Lord’s timing. We finally adopted Natalie on February 21, 2012, surrounded by friends and family who had bathed us in prayer and support during this time.
IRACLE B USINESS O
ne of the most interesting things about adoption is that it’s nothing like what you see in the movies, watch on television or even read in a best-selling book. It’s actually much better. The arrival of our three sons, Riley (2005), Will (2010) and Alex (2012) were each marked by strings of miracles and a reminder that yes, God does still “swirl in the whirlwind” and direct the storms of life. Riley was born on a warm Sunday night in the middle of the summer. His birthmother so desperately wanted to parent, but she wanted more for him than she could give. The night we received him, at a small church in Edmond, Oklahoma, we wept together, as her tears watered his beautiful bald head. Will came to us like a bolt out of the blue. We walked through the summer of 2010 with another birthmother who had selected our family months earlier, only to change her mind days after having given birth. We cried in disappointment, perhaps Riley most of all, who lamented the loss of a brother who wasn’t to be. But in the tears we attempted to console, reminding him (and ourselves) that ours is a sovereign God of great surprises. We prayed for a miracle. Five days later a woman from Denver, who didn’t even know she was pregnant, gave birth to a boy. He was soon placed in our arms and has forever grabbed hold of our hearts. Alex arrived on Friday, February 24, 2012, in Omaha, Nebraska, in the midst of a literal and figurative swirling storm. We had been introduced to his birthmother four years earlier but had fallen out of touch. On the night my mother died (January 12, 2012) we received a call inquiring whether or not we might be interested in adopting this yet-to-be-born boy? It was a startling contrast of life and death. Adoption is gritty—and glorious. It’s exciting—and scary, too. And most of all, it’s
Gritty and G lorious
By Paul J. Batura
Julie, Alex, Riley, Paul and Will Batura humbling, to be entrusted with a life through the choice of another person. Adoption is also a grand reminder that life is often complicated and even awkward, and most definitely outside of our control. But it reminds us that “every child begins the world again,” and that God is the master weaver who redeems and restores all things. 6/12 | www.first-pres.org | 7
“ Those of us who have adopted are excited to share our stories in hop the widows and the orphans. The need is great and there are more r
Scott, Megan, Reese, Brynn, Kelel, Senait Nilsen
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ix years ago, when Scott and I celebrated our 10th anniversary enjoying cheese and wine on a park bench in Napa Valley, I don’t suppose we honestly envisioned our seemingly flippant words of “adoption” would come to pass. We labored over conversation about family planning and wondered how God would use us in the future. At the time, our two children were six and three. We weren’t planning to “have” any more children biologically, but (and I quote), “Should God ever want to grow our family, we would pursue adoption.” Period. End of story. We flew home, gathered up our children from Grandma’s house and went about our lives Of course, God did show up as he always does. It may not have been recognizable at the time, but this whisper of adoption, however faded or slight, kept beating in our hearts. Prayers were jotted on paper every now and again or breathed into the darkness of the night, “Lord, what is YOUR plan for
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our family?” Adoption probably wouldn’t be the path for us, but just in case. After all, we are cruising right along. Two healthy kids. Check. Great marriage. Check. Nice house in the suburbs. Check. Great job. Check. Comfy life….. Um, check. One summer night, I confessed to Scott that God had resurrected the possible call to adoption in my heart. What should we do? We would pray. ßAs we prayed, God’s passionate heart for the fatherless jumped out in technicolor all over the pages of Scripture. We didn’t know how the journey would unfold, but in faith, we took one step at a time, trusting God’s hand would lead us along the way. Nothing extraordinary happened, in fact, quite the opposite. We just slowed down our pace. As Bill Hybels says, we “lowered the ambient noise” in our life. And sure enough, I heard God asking, “Whom shall I send?” Together, we prayed. Not knowing all the answers, not being able to map the course with any certainty, we said, “Here we are Lord. Send us.” We are now the parents of two beautiful, Ethiopian born children. The path has not been easy, but it has been good. With God’s hand at the helm, we set sail. Every day is a new adventure into uncharted waters. We forge ahead knowing the God who created us all as individuals will be faithful to weave us into a family. Not biological, but beautiful.
A Heart for the
Fatherless
By Megan Nilsen
pes of inspiring other families to take this step of faith—to care for resources available than I think many of us realize.” —Monet Martin
Too Small to
Ignore
By Monet Martin
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doption was not on our radar as newlyweds. We were so involved with teenagers through Young Life that we were not even sure that we wanted to have kids. Obviously that changed, and we now have McKenna (7) and Ari (5). We knew by this time that we would like to have at least one more child and we were open to either adoption or having another naturally (a moving sermon from Wes Stafford of Compassion Intl., followed by his book “Too Small to Ignore” inspired us to consider adopting). We interviewed all the families we knew who had adopted, including parents, kids and their siblings. At the end of that process we were open to either option, and shortly after got pregnant. We thought that was our answer from God and believed that the adoption door was shutting. Six weeks later, I miscarried the baby. At this time we really dug in on our prayer and asked God for some clarity. That clarity was given to us in such a tangible, specific way we felt there was nothing to question on what to do next. We knew we wanted to adopt internationally and Ethiopia was the right fit for our family. We feel very fortunate, in that our
adoption process went quickly (16 months from start to finish). On Memorial Day, 2010 we met and brought home our fivemonth-old son Joshua Birhanu Martin. He is now just over two years old and has been a giant blessing to our family. He is a joy to each of us and to many of our friends and family around us. We can’t say enough about the community of adoptive families that have rallied around us at First Pres. It is so comforting to be in this journey with others and to know we can navigate some of the unusual obstacles of adoption together.
Ari, Jim, Joshua, Monet and McKenna Martin
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Ethiopian
Roller Coaster By Holly Aldridge
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he reality of our story is far from the dream we started with, yet in the middle of it all, I am changed. My relationship with Jesus is different. I wish I could name the ways, but I think that I am still too far in the thick of things to know what shape I’ll take when this season’s pruning is complete. On June 8, 2011 my husband and I received the long awaited call that there was a one month old baby boy who was to be ours! The following weeks were filled with sharing the news, showing pictures, dreaming, planning and all the other things you do when you expect a baby to arrive soon. Shortly it became clear that our paperwork was not moving as it should and there was cause for alarm. The following months were spent worrying about how this delay would affect our baby, our bonding and our family. The roller coaster ride was nauseating, as one week we would hear that everything should be OK, only to find out a week later Leah, Holly, Maci Meeraf, Dave and Spencer Aldridge
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that things looked pretty bad. These were excruciating months, full of tears, doubt, allout prayers, fasting, timid prayers, and even no prayers at all. We tried everything to get God to move on our behalf and on the behalf of our hungry little one. Yet not one little centimeter of movement can be seen with the human eye in this story to this very hour. But, what God seems to be lacking in movement, he is making up for in volume. On one particularly difficult night, my husband and I cried a prayer for the six millionth time, asking God to move in the hearts of the Ethiopian officials, who are keeping our child in a struggling orphanage. God impressed something unexpected on both of us. We found ourselves feeling a tiny little fraction of how God feels about those that he loves so deeply, but are separated from him. It was a rare glimpse into God’s desperate heart for us. What I have come to believe is that whether Negusu comes to our home or not, God is still powerful and all knowing. He loves our son more than we can even imagine. Let me assure you, that belief has been a tough one to swallow and drink down, but I think I’m getting there. There have been other instances in the past year when the volume of God’s voice has been louder than usual to me, which is what has led us to us deciding to bring home a smiley, cheeky little girl from a different region of Ethiopia in March 2012. Some might say, and I hear it a lot, that maybe this is what we had to go through for God to bring Maci Meeraf into our lives, but I think it is much more than that. I think he could bring her into our family in a much less painful way. There are a few lessons I’m sure I’ve learned along the way here, but I don’t think it is a lesson that God wants me to learn. I think it is his heart that God wants me to see, trust and believe.
“Adoption is a redemptive response to tragedy that happens in this broken world. And every single day, it is worth it, because adoption is God’s heart.” —Katie Davis, from her book Kisses from Katie
are incredibly grateful for the way they have each changed our lives in unique and different ways! There is something quite amazing, humbling and indescribable about having a human being choose you to be the parents of her child. Mahlia (meaning: wished for child, and she is!), has been a miracle in our lives and family and a joy to watch grow. Becoming her parents has been nothing short of wonderful. God has consistently shown his hand at work through our journey of adoption and we are excited to see where he will lead our family next. We hope it will include adoption again and again.
John, Meg and Mahlia Bunka with birthmother Hailey
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s God “predestined us to be adopted sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will...” (Ephesians 1:5), John and I feel that our hearts were somewhat “predestined” for adoption of our children, as we discussed adoption even during our young dating years. We are both so thankful now that it was heavy on our hearts for so long, as it made the decision and pursuit feel exciting and natural. God paved the way in our hearts to love our sweet Mahlia like we never thought possible, and at the same time gave us a love for her biological mom that was even greater than we had fervently prayed for. We are experiencing a love and trust like never before in our lives and unexpectedly, we regularly find ourselves overwhelmed by the incredible courage and love shown to us by Hailey, Mahlia’s birthmother. We have embraced both of them into our family and
Predestined for doption A By Megan Bunka
Please Join Us
Sunday, June 17th
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We will offer a Prayer of Blessing for ALL Foster and Adoptive Families at each of the three morning services.
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Sola Gratia:
Grace Alone A WOMAN CAME STORMING OUT OF a worship service with a rolled up bulletin in her hand. She hit the pastor with it while shouting, “Stop doing these prayers of confession! I am not a sinner!” She had declared herself in no need of God’s grace. As we become aware of how much we need saving, we ask, What must I do to be saved?1 When we begin to think about getting things right with God, we ask the same question. We got ourselves into this mess; surely we must get ourselves out of it. We are surprised, however, when we encounter the good news of Jesus Christ. It is good because it tells us that God will get us out of our mess and it is news because it is new to us. We wouldn’t think of such a rescue plan on our own. But God did. He provided a way out that does not depend on our own goodness but His…not on our lovable nature, but on His love. Christians often get this wrong. There have been times when following rules, fulfilling certain religious demands and doing works of mercy were considered the pathway to Acts 16:30
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salvation. Because of such things, God would look favorably on us and give us eternal life. But how much goodness…how much mercy…how much religious devotion will save us? Then we end up with an inescapable anxiety, crying out with the Apostle Paul, “Who will deliver me?”2 That is why Reformers like Martin Luther and John Calvin declared the liberating doctrine of sola gratia—grace alone. Only God’s grace, his undeserved favor, toward us in Jesus Christ is the source of our salvation. Our salvation is pure gift. St. Paul tells us, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”3 Here we learn two things: (1) the passive voice tells us that salvation is done to us; we don’t do it—at all; (2) it is a gift—we receive it. But then that raises a question: Who gets the gift? That question led to the doctrine of predestination. In its worst form, it created inactive Christians who thought that mission was unnecessary because God would save 2 3
Romans 7:24 Ephesians 2: 8-9
UNDERSTANDING OUR REFORMED FAITH PART TWO IN A THREE-PART SERIES By Junior McGarrahan
whom he was going to save. It also led to anxiety about whether one was on God’s list. Scripture speaks both of God’s choosing us before the foundation of the world4 and of the urgency of our own free choices.5 Both of those statements are necessary, but Calvin’s interest in predestination was that God, not any human, was in charge of salvation. Therefore, believers should be comforted and motivated to live holy lives. But it’s not ‘cheap grace.’ The scriptures also tell us that God’s choosing has purposes: to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ6 and to do the good works that were also preplanned for us.7 Grace is not a ticket for a free ride. It is free entrance to transformed living. Instead of worrying about an inadequate fatalistic doctrine of predestination, we are now released from sin and able to be about our Father’s business. God’s grace is what makes all of our Christian life possible, from creating in us an awareness of our need of a Savior to bringing us to maturity in Christ. Grace is all about the God who goes before us, always making the
first move, and who surrounds us on all sides with his grace. God’s going-before-grace is shown powerfully when we baptize our babies. We grin when they cry or pull off the pastor’s glasses, but that baby behavior is teaching us something very profound. They have no clue about what is going on, and yet they are being marked as Christ’s own forever – just like we were before the grace of God opened our own eyes to our sin and our Savior. Infant baptism teaches the basic lesson of sola gratia—grace alone: We love God because God first loved us.8 Grace is God’s gift to you. Receive it. Open it. Live out of the grace of God for the glory of God!
Ephesians 1:4 Hebrews 3:15 6 Romans 8:29 7 Ephesians 2:10
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After thirty-plus years in youth ministry, Junior was called into ordained ministry. She served for seven years in the Office of Theology and Worship for the PCUSA and for almost nine years as associate pastor at The National Presbyterian Church.
1 John 4:19
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Connecting with BY
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By Dale McClure
E
ven before our first building was completed, we created our first Sunday school. It was called a “union school” and was held in cooperation with some of the other churches in the city. In the 1870’s, Sunday school taught God’s love through stories, songs and Bible memorization. Similar to today, children received the Sabbath School Visitor and The Sunday School Advocate, to take home and read during the week. I recently found several of
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these papers folded in the bottom of a cardboard box, with some pre-dating the founding of our church. During the 1920’s-1930’s we modernized our Sunday school by using large posters printed in full color and “flannel graph.” We have had some remarkable leaders in Children’s Ministries. Mary Francis Redding became our first Christian Education Director in 1942. She was the first to divide Sunday school curriculum by children’s ages. June Pauline Gardner came to us in 1952. In fact it was something like a trade off. Mary Frances went to a similar position at University Presbyterian Church in Seattle, WA. June Pauline, who was the pastor’s secretary at University church, came to be our Director of Christian Education. June Pauline emphasized teacher training and personal contact with the children. She also created the “Get Set” program (featured in the May 2012 issue). Rita McClain was another innovative Director of Children’s Ministries. She created “The Connection.” The Connection is based on the concept that children learn in many different ways. In one room, children might study Bible geography with maps and globes, in the Sinai Cinema, film is the selected medium, and in the Manna Grill they might try their hand at making unleavened bread for a Passover meal. She also created our preschool. Today, Danny Shaw is our Director of Children’s Ministries. He supervises the activity within a complex of rooms furnished with science equipment, videos
Children for 140 years!
and all kinds of electronic gear. That equipment, as well as a vast amount of educational theory, makes Sunday school a very different experience from that which we had in the little wooden structure on Kiowa and Weber Streets. However, 140 years later the message is still the same, “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.�
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