fiveonfive | issue 22 | Winter 2013

WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK ROLLER DERBY MAGAZINE ISSUE 22, WINTER 2013

proud partner of the WFTDA

fiveonfivemag.com

fiveonfive contents 34-35

4-5 advice

ask ms d’fiant and suzy hotrod!

WFTDA Even the all stars were once rookies.

We reached out to some members of this year’s Championship teams to find out how they discovered and fell in love with our sport.

6-7 business do you know your rights?

8-11 health and fitness sports enhancement drinks shin splints

14-23 games and coaching

44-45

order of operations: the cutting edge roller derby – the sport 2013 WFTDA championships recap

general anxiety disorder and roller derby

26-28 gear

Culta Skaro of State College Area Roller Derby shares how roller derby helped her overcome a lifelong battle with anxiety.

38-41 junior derby junior derby gear

42-43 rookie

Preflash Gordon

a guide to derby gear

52-53 secrets of an overachieving derby girl

54-55 international derby 56-59 art and media

Derby, work, family, school, etc... it all can be too much. Cat Owta Hell explains how she manges it all.

Jules Doyle

CUP

editor miss jane redrum fort wayne derby girls copy editor vera n. sayne rocky mountain rollergirls content manager annsanity boulder county bombers art director assaultin’ pepa rocky mountain rollergirls contributing writers ms d’fiant angel city derby girls suzy hotrod gotham girls roller derby sensa doom charlotte roller girls rowdy rothbomb queen elizabitch rocky mountain rollergirls gypsy bones boulder county bombers catholic cruel girl rocky mountain rollergirls shocker khan rage city rollergirls knuckle slamwitch toronto loco roller derby justice feelgood marshall windy city rollers alie gensheimer odor gladiator la petite mort fast girl skates old xchool tsunami sirens culta skaro state college area roller derby thunderbird south simcoe rebel rollers jay pegg kansas city roller warriors

from the editor Welcome to the 22nd issue of fiveonfive magazine!

I love tournament season... I mean, who doesn’t? Unfortunately, the past few years, I’ve been stuck at home, watching all the action from the comfort of my couch. The last major derby event I attended was North Central Regionals in Indianapolis in 2011. Ever since, the tournaments have been too far away for me to feasibly attend. But this year, I had the pleasure of attending the playoff tournament in my hometown, Fort Wayne, Indiana, and Champs in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

And holy cow, the game has progressed! Hats off to WFTDA and all of its member leagues for continually pushing the game forward. And a big shout out to everyone who had a hand in the new ranking process and tournament structure. I think this tournament season was the best to date, featuring some of the most intense bouts I’ve ever seen. For a full recap of Champs, check out Justice Feelgood Marshall’s recap beginning on page 20.

Though I am no longer skating, my heart will always remain with this sport, and I cannot wait to see how it continues to evolve in the years to come. Our sport, more than any other, provides its players a chance to shape the game. We made this, folks, and we continue to make it every day. I am glad to be a part of this community, and I hope that you are too. fiveonfive is a community, as well, and we couldn’t do what we do without your support and input. We want you to be a part of our community, so let us hear from you. Is there a topic you want us to cover? Do you want to become a contributing writer? Email us at content@fiveonfivemag.com.

cat owta hell roughneck roller derby freyja “roller” gillard london rockin’ rollers danger (ismymiddlename) angel city derby girls cover photo Jules Doyle type2bphoto.com fiveonfive magazine info@fiveonfivemag.com facebook.com/fiveonfive fiveonfivemag.com

The views and opinions expressed in this publication are those of the contributing writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of fiveonfive magazine.

Miss Jane Redrum Fort Wayne Derby Girls Fort Wayne, IN editor@fiveonfivemag.com

contributors

Many thanks to our contributors who come from all over the roller derby community and share their knowledge based on their countless hours of dedication to this sport!

Check out additional contributors at fiveonfivemag.com.

Joe Rollerfan

Justice Feelgood Marshall

Shocker Khan began skating roller derby five years ago after only skating a handful of times as a child. Shocker now skates for the Boom Town Derby Dames, leads beginnerintermediate boot camps and gear workshops, writes the popular gear blog “Shocker Khan’s G Spot” and owns 2N1 Skate Shoppe.

David Bedard

Shocker Khan

Tracy Williams (“Justice Feelgood Marshall”) has been involved in roller derby since 2005 as a referee, player, coach, announcer and writer.

From 2007 to 2012, he served as the founding editor of DerbyNewsNetwork.com, which remains the premier online source for derby recaps and previews. In 2007, he also founded one of the first modern men’s teams in Baltimore’s Harm City Homicide and helped launch the Men’s Roller Derby Association. Currently he lives in Chicago, Illinois, serves as a bench coach for the Windy City Rollers’ Manic Attackers and skates for the MRDA's Chicago Bruise Brothers.

Cat Owta Hell

Danger (ismymiddlename) Danger got into roller derby in 2007 through the Victorian Roller Derby League when it first hit Melbourne, Australia. She’s interested in all of its aspects, and has lectured, presented at conferences, and written about it in magazines, for both leagues she’s been associated with, and most recently for DNN. She is also resident tweetcaster for ACDG. Outside of roller derby, she writes and researches about queer bodies.

She got into this whole roller derby thing as soon as rumors of it started, having been on the lookout since it was explained to her by a New Yorker, and hasn’t looked back.

Cat Owta Hell began skating derby as a Fresh Meat ‘tard with her first team in September, 2009 and by 2010 had earned the title of Captain. With two Rollercons, countless clinics and boot camps under her jamming belt, it is safe to say it’s derby until death for this Jammer Assassin. Outside the rink, Cat writes fiction (claranipper.com – under construction), makes desserts (andyscandies.org – under construction) and enlarges her certified wildlife habitat gardens.

Coach Old Xchool Old Xchool started skating when he was eight years old using the outdoor clamp on skates and trained at the Roller Derby Training School in Oakland, California when he was 12. In 1980, he went into flat track speed skating and became a certified speed skating official. He refereed about seven years until his job took him overseas where he started a beginner outdoor speed skating team on the military base. In 2010 he started coaching the local women’s roller derby team in Crescent City, California.

advice

Suzy Hotrod

Ms D’Fiant

Gotham Girls Roller Derby New York, NY

Angel City Derby Girls Los Angeles, CA

DEAR BLOCKER AND JAMMER, My team’s strategy for a power jam is to just stand there and let our jammer fight her way through the opposing blockers. I hate it and really want to play offense but when I do, my team gets upset with me. Should I continue to voice my opinion about the topic or just do what I am told?

-OVERLY OFFENSIVE

DEAR OVERLY OFFENSIVE, First, make sure you are actively participating in your league’s involvement with the rules. I am a bit distanced from the WFTDA scene and The Rules Committee. But what I do know is that my league has a designated elected rep who every few months contacts our league to participate in polls to gather the league’s feedback for the Rules Committee. She then casts her vote for our league based on that feedback. So you as a skater are 100% able to directly help change the game. I had a teammate tell me that I had no right to ever complain about the rules if I did not participate in those polls, surveys, and internal (very very long) message board discussions and she was absolutely right. So make sure you’re taking the opportunity to have a voice.

Next up, on track play. It is not a productive form of protest to actively play offense on a power play if your team has decided, as a team, that they are going to play passive. You may hate it, but you need to be a team player. I can’t lie, I love to see a sweet defiant burst of active offense in power play situations. As a jammer I really like offense, even if it fails and doesn’t get me out of the pack, because it gets the pack moving. But in-game defiance is not the answer, nor the productive place to show your opinions.

Ask your team captains in an off-the-track discussion if they are willing to try testing the results of specific kinds of active offense. It is important that you communicate with them about this privately and not make a stink in front of other skaters. You want to be respectful of the leadership. Suggest doing an actual point scoring test and compare the results. Be specific about the types of attack on the wall in front. Don’t just throw a person out there to make a mess. Consider all the different ways it can be effectively done. Watch teams that do successful active offense and test their methods.

Best of luck and keep on top of your rules updates. You never know, all of this could change. Remember knee starts?

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DEAR OVERLY OFFENSIVE, Sigh. I know. We all know.

First, you owe it to your team to be on board with the strategy on the track. Nothing is worse than a player who goes rogue. You destroy the trust on the track and rattle every one of your teammates. No matter what I say next, your team decides on a strategy well before the game is played. If you do not like it, then it is your responsibility to run for the training team, run for captain, coach, or whoever makes these decisions and bring about change in a positive and healthy way.

The loud dissenting voice at practice does not bring about change in a healthy way. All too often it’s disruptive and unhelpful. Team sports mean being on the same page and playing together for the greater good. It means trusting your coaches and captains by following the strategies they have laid out.

Five girls on the track cohesively executing a mediocre strategy will almost always beat out a handful of girls with a great strategy that can’t get it together. Good, bad, or indifferent, do what your pivot tells you. If it’s the wrong call, that’s their cross to bear. You’ve done your job by being a good teammate on the track.

That said, guys, we do not HAVE to stand around and play passive offense. We really don’t. The only people who like it less than the fans are the players. And it’s not entirely effective.

Somewhat effective? Sure. It’s always best to slow the pack down so your jammer gets around the block quicker.

But once she’s fighting that four-wall of blockers, especially for new leagues, it is not worth losing your jammer to the box on a penalty of her own. Learn the offensive strike.

Master the offensive strike! Top teams in roller derby aren’t just standing still anymore and neither should you.

DEAR BLOCKER AND JAMMER, This year, my personal goal is to work on jamming; I am typically a pivot and want to work on my jamming skills especially if that star pass comes around. I have trouble hopping around on my toe stops, or being able to pop up onto them in a split second – do you have any tips or drills I could practice to help get comfortable with this?

-WANNA JAM

DEAR WANNA JAM, For a crash course in getting onto your toe stops more, try lowering them. At first they will feel like they are in the way, or you’re tripping on them. But you will notice that you’re more inclined to use them in little places you may not have before for a small quick single step. I have heard that you should only have four fingers height between your back wheels and the floor when you’re on the toe stop. For me that is even a bit too long of a toe stop but I did start to lower my toe stops and eventually switched to the longer post of toe stop as I got more used to them being closer to the floor.

For drills for using toe stops: “Step, Step, Toe Stop, Toe Stop, Step, Step, Toe Stop, Toe Stop” What you’re trying to do is move forward quickly using fast feet in a forward trajectory and get used to throwing a toe stop in an uncomfortable place. You’re not stepping slowly. You should be quickly running from skate to skate, then toe stop to toe stop, then back to skates. Focus on keeping your whole body from springing straight up in the air. You don’t want to find yourself jumping up through the ceiling. You want to be using the toe stop to spring you forward not upwards.

“Clump” Setup either a set of folding chairs or stationary skaters in a pretty dense clumps. Use more than four. Approach the “pack” and stop.

Then use wheeled footwork and toe stop footwork alternating back and force to choose creative paths around the stations objects.

“Out of Control” Run as fast as you can along the straight aways using only toe stops the whole time. Then coast the speed through the turn on wheels.

Repeat.

“Edges to Top Stops” Start in the middle of the track and head towards the outside or inside line. When you get there do either a sharp hockey stop or a “swoosh” half circle if your hockey stop edge is still being developed. You are using your edges and your hips to take you from heading straight off the track to heading back into the center of the track toward the other line of the track. After you make either the fast cut hockey stop, or the building block swoosh, get immediately onto your top stops to run yourself all the way to the other side of the track. Just like the last drill, be mindful not to jump yourself too high in the air. Focus on staying a similar height and use the toe stop jump sensation to take you laterally.

Happy toe stopping!

DEAR WANNA JAM, Curse you panty pass! I am so conflicted over the panty pass. While I enjoy it as a spectator, it all too often goes wrong over a minute technicality. More importantly, as a career pivot, I’ll admit, I’m the last person you should pass the panty to on the track.

I’m a cerebral player. Messing with people, exploiting the rule set, working with my players and thinking fast on the track. These are the qualities that make me a good pivot. Honestly, those aren’t the qualities that I associate with a great jammer. Good jammers are so bold, endlessly confident and don’t blink at challenging a murder’s row of blockers without help. That’s not who I am, and when I try it takes me a few jams to shake off the badness.

But, you didn’t ask me my opinions on panty passes; you asked how to become a better jammer. I am a big believer in sink or swim. If you want to be a better jammer, start jamming. A lot. When skaters ask me how to break their plateau my first piece of advice is to pick your position and master it. Play offense every day for the next six months. Watch the free archives on wftda.tv and break down every offensive move. Watch and learn the position you want to excel at first. Second, find a way to make that position part of your every day.

While I was on the ACDG Hollywood Scarlets, the training committee tried out a program where the all-stars took shifts training the new girls. It was bound for failure as there was no real consistency and I’m personally responsible for breaking a girl’s wrist that wasn’t ready to transition, but anyway, we had a lot of fun and so did they. That class to this day will tell you D’fiant’s rule of blocking every day. At one point I realized that while I often knew exactly what to do, executing it was a different thing. So I made blocking part of my every day routine. Every morning and evening while my electronic tooth brush timed me for two minutes in :30 second intervals, I would squat and work on extending my hips to the wall. Next I’d work on the follow through shoulder check. At the one minute mark, I’d flip around and work on the other side. Car doors were closed with my hips. Any opportunity to use my body over my hands was taken.

When you make a skill second nature, it doesn’t require thought any more.

Find a way to make jamming second nature. Popping on your toe stops takes confidence (and good toe stops!). Make sure you’re light on your feet. Start jumping rope. Carry a jump rope in your car and find a way to do it several times a day. Run any staircase you can on your toes, up and down, then backwards.

The hardest part for me is the mental game, so I also suggest jamming at practice regularly and playing with your local teams. There are no shortcuts!

They say it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at anything.

Just realize that those 10,000 hours don’t have to be on the track and you’ll get there before you know it.

need advice? email advice@fiveonfivemag.com fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 5

business

do you know your rights?

S E N S A D O O M A K A K R I S F I N L O N , J A M E S M C E L R OY & D I E H L , P. A . , C H A R L OT T E R O L L E R G I R L S

I’ve been a Charlotte Roller Girl for close to a year now, but my alter ego still practices law, including a lot of employment law.

So I read with interest the questions of how work and derby intersect. What happens if you get hurt on the track, and it affects your job? What can you do? Obviously, I can’t provide you with legal advice here – employment cases are very factspecific, and if an issue arises you should definitely contact an attorney who can analyze your specific situation. Also, you may be a member of a union, subject to a collective bargaining agreement, or living in a state with specific laws that might govern some of these issues. And if your employer has a specific policy prohibiting you from engaging in dangerous activities outside of work, that’s going to affect your rights. But hopefully this general overview will help you understand how to advocate for yourself or when to find help if necessary.

So let’s say you got hurt. Maybe you broke a bone, or got a concussion. You might need surgery, or physical therapy, or just a battery of tests and doctors’ appointments to find out what’s wrong. Maybe you can’t stand all day, or pick up heavy things, or sit for long hours, or type, or otherwise perform the duties that you usually do. What do you need to know? medical leave. If you have sufficient sick leave or other paid time off to cover any absence or medical appointments you need for your injury, leave may not be a problem for you.

However, the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) may, depending upon the size of the employer and some other factors, provide additional protections to eligible employees, including up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, the requirement that employment benefits be continued during the leave, and the guarantee that the employee will be permitted to return to her job (or its equivalent) at the end of the leave. You should consult with your employer’s human resources department, or an outside attorney if necessary, to determine whether you are eligible for FMLA leave, and whether it fits your situation. disability. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibits discrimination against an employee who has a condition which substantially limits a major life activity. Recent changes to the ADA say that even a temporary impairment may be a substantial limitation, and may therefore qualify as a disability.

If you qualify as “disabled” under the ADA, you may be

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protected from discrimination, retaliation, and harassment because of your disability. You may also be entitled to ask your employer for a reasonable accommodation of your disability, so long as the accommodation doesn’t impose an undue burden on your employer and will enable you to perform the essential functions of your job. If you need an accommodation, you should obtain the necessary documentation from your health care provider, then talk to your employer’s human resources department, or an outside attorney if necessary, to see what measures can be taken. workers’ compensation. Workers’ compensation laws can provide for medical coverage and some partial salary payments in the event an employee is injured on the job. Assuming none of us are paid to play derby, how does this help you? Well, it may not help if you get injured playing derby. But if you have a pre-existing derby injury that is exacerbated by your job, then you may be eligible for benefits for the re-injury you suffered while working. If you think you may be eligible for workers’ compensation, you should talk with a workers’ compensation attorney, to see whether you can pursue a claim. discrimination claims. There were some comments in response to Q’s Facebook post about discrimination. Let me talk about that for a moment. As a woman who’s been engaged in full-contact sports for most of my professional career, I’ve noticed that my injuries tend to get treated a little differently from the similar injuries of my (usually male) counterparts, and even from the injuries incurred by female counterparts who acquired them in more conventional ways. You may have noticed the same thing. However, that differential treatment may not rise to the level of actionable discrimination. For example, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act prohibits employment discrimination “because of” gender. If my employer is more accommodating to a male attorney who broke his arm playing rugby than it is to me after I broke my arm playing roller derby, then yes, that might make me think there is some discrimination going on. However, if my employer was very accommodating to a female coworker who broke her wrist falling down the stairs, then maybe I’m not being discriminated against because I’m female – maybe it’s just because I play derby. That’s different. The inquiry will be very fact-specific,

and a claim for genderbased discrimination may be an uphill battle.

That’s not to say that your situation might not actually rise to the level of actionable discrimination, but it’s definitely something you should discuss with a lawyer. should I tell my employer the truth about how I got hurt?

If you’re not applying for worker’s compensation, your employer does not have specific policies against dangerous activities, and there are no other reasons in play requiring you to provide information, you probably don’t need to volunteer how you got hurt. If you are volunteering information, however, as a general rule, you should tell the truth about how you were injured. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, while it may not be legal for your boss to fire you just because you got hurt, that doesn’t mean he or she can’t fire you for lying. So if you’re dishonest, you might just be giving your employer an excuse to fire you. Also, if you do wind up pursuing a claim relating to your injury, lying to your employer means that there are conflicting stories out there, which will hurt your credibility, and probably also will give your attorney migraines (I speak from personal experience on this one).

Additionally, if you are applying for some kind of benefit, you may well be certifying to the truth of the information on your application. In any case, you should be very leery about fabricating the cause of your injuries. absenteeism. A word of warning: the odds are good that, assuming you’re in the United States, you live in an at-will employment state. That means that you can be fired for any reason, or no reason at all, so long as you aren’t actually fired for an illegal reason. And for our purposes here, this means that, if you miss excessive amounts of work due to injuries –

the blastart

particularly if you aren’t eligible for (or haven’t invoked your rights to) the legal protections discussed above – your employer may be within its rights to decide that you are just too much trouble to keep. Assuming you want to keep your job, you need to make sure that you understand exactly what your employer’s expectations are, and figure out what you can do to meet them. It also means that, if you’re injured, for heaven’s sake take care of yourself. Don’t start pushing your injured body too early (whether on the track or off) and risk another injury and yet more time out of work. It’s bad for you, it’s bad for your team, and it’s probably bad for your employment.

Your specific situation may have variables at play that can’t be predicted in a general overview. The bottom line is that issues relating to your particular employment are very casespecific, and your options are going to depend on a lot of different variables, ranging from the state you live in and your employer’s personnel policies to the nature of your duties and your record as an employee. Hopefully, you won’t get injured – but if you do, and if it affects your job in some way, you should consult with an employment attorney who can advise you based on the specifics of your personal situation.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 7

health and fitness

sports enhancement drinks R OW DY R OT H B O M B A N D Q U E E N E L I Z A B I T C H , R O C K Y M O U N TA I N R O L L E R G I R L S

Queen Elizabitch and Rowdy Rothbomb hail from Denver, Colorado, and skate for the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls. They are both known for being opinionated, verbose, and hilarious. Queen and Rowdy approached this column with hopes of providing a well-rounded perspective on three different drink supplement brands designed to enhance athletic performance.

Rowdy’s Rambling: Ordinarily, I’m not into supplements. I am a firm believer in eating right and fueling your body to sustain you through endurance activities. If you are eating a balanced diet and enough calories, you can make it through a roller derby practice with a brief break for a well-timed snack.

This attitude was completely turned on its head when I joined Contenders, Rocky Mountain Rollergirls’ B-travel team. I found myself signed up for three-hour practices three days per week, with two of those practices shared with Fight Club.

What?! Who does that?! It was quickly evident I needed something extra to get through practice because I was seriously dragging ass by the end of the second hour; the third was almost torture. I wasn’t skating safely by the end of the third hour, and have the scars on my shins to prove it.

Enter Herbalife 24 Prepare, Extreme Edge Muscle Recharging Stack, and Vega Sport’s Electrolyte Hydrator and Recovery Accelerator.

Herbalife 24 Prepare is for consumption prior to activity to boost nitric oxide production and support blood flow to working muscles. It contains creatine to support fast-twitch muscle contraction. Extreme Edge Pre-Workout formula also boasts blood flow enhancement and igniting explosive energy. In contrast, Vega Sport’s packaging highlights the antioxidant protection it provides in addition to enhancing your metabolism.

I felt like a meathead looking at all three products.

Herbalife and I started off on the wrong foot. It is so sweet.

Please note: I can barely handle drinking soda because I think it is too sugary, so if you are of a similar mindset I would tread lightly with Herbalife. My face puckered instantly and stayed there, like I had a citrus Sour Patch Kid in my mouth.

I thought the sweetness might wear off after a few swigs

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and repeated exposure, but it did not. To its credit, the citrus flavor was consistent throughout. As for its impact on my performance, I thought it improved my stamina. However, my struggle with the flavor means I would not drink this again.

Pros: low-calorie, mixes well with water, citrus flavor is consistent.

Cons: if you are averse to sweet drinks, this may not be a good choice for you.

Extreme Edge was a pleasant surprise after Herbalife. Its flavor is light and tastes like lemon-lime, not a shock of sweetness.

I actually looked forward to drinking it between drills. The Rocky Mountain Rollergirls’ warehouse does not have air conditioning, which is trying in the brutally hot summer months.

Extreme Edge kept me going through three hours of scrimmage in 95-degree heat. It does contain caffeine, though, to the extent that I would not use this product after about 12 noon and risk being unable to fall asleep at night.

Pros: Easy on the taste buds, kept me going through practice.

Cons: Caffeine – enough that I wanted to keep going long after practice ended.

Flavor-wise, Vega Sport was the clear winner. The Electrolyte Hydrator in berry kept me gulping my water. Sometimes I have to remind myself to keep drinking water but the Electrolyte Hydrator and the Recovery Accelerator kept me very interested in my Nalgene, both between drills and after practice. As for how it made me feel: I’m not sure if I felt great because the Vega Sport products were semi-magical or if I was flushing my system with so much water there was no way I wouldn’t recover after practice. Given the flavor, I’m willing to keep experimenting with it.

Pros: Damn, does it taste good.

Cons: Might be a tad expensive to drink it just for its flavor.

Queen’s Comments: After taking a year off from roller derby (the notorious “exretiree” over here), I decided to come back to Rocky Mountain and pick up where I left off. I figured, “Hey, I’ve run one and a half marathons, I did a few boot camps, I worked out 5-6 days a week in the last year, I’m definitely in shape for roller derby.” Not so shockingly, I was not. I spent the first two weeks after my return to play feeling so sore I convinced myself I was getting sick. No part of running 26.2 miles will ever prepare you for sprinting on roller skates, but I digress.

It became pretty clear after weeks of waking up with quads as tight as BB King’s Lucielle’s strings, that I needed some additional help on the recovery front. I had always been a believer in supplements, but had bounced around from brand to brand and only purchased what was on sale or what was being advertised on fitness blogs.

As someone who tries to live a pretty cruelty free lifestyle I found it difficult to find tasty plant based supplements that helped keep me going through tough workouts (or practices ran

by Fight Club) or prevented the dreaded DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness). That is, until I found Vega Sport’s line of sustain and recovery products. The combination of Berryflavored Electrolyte Hydrator and Recovery Accelerator in Apple Berry (don’t knock it ‘til you try it) had me feeling strong, even after practice, and ready for another round the following day.

I refer to the Recovery Accelerator as a “magic eraser”. It was the only thing that got me through those first few brutal postretirement RMRG practices!

Although I was on the Vega bandwagon, I was still intrigued by all the products on the market that make big claims. So I gave a couple a try.

Herbalife 24 Prepare has just 60 calories per serving, tons of great vitamins and lots of potassium – it made for a nice refreshing drink before practice. Luckily I’m a heavy coffee drinker, so I didn’t seem to be affected by the 100mg of caffeine, but I definitely felt an added boost to my skating.

I became less fatigued and was more focused. Though I felt like it did its job, it might have been a tad on the sweet side.

I’m a savory kind of gal, so a little sweet goes a long way with me. All in all, I don’t think I’d buy the Herbalife 24 Prepare again, simply because it was too sweet and left an aftertaste that took several beers to erase.

Pros: Light, low calorie, vegetarian, sustainable.

Cons: Way too sweet. Expensive.

Extreme Edge Pre-Workout Muscle Recharging Stack, in lemon, was not great tasting either. It tasted very artificial, like sweet tarts. But I gave it the old college try and was amazed at how quickly it kicked in. Almost immediately after drinking down my first two gulps, I was off and running... and not surprisingly, I crashed mid-way through practice. Not an epic crash, but definitely noticeable. I gave it a few more tries and ended up with the same results. Huge burst of energy and a drop an hour in. I had high hopes as it came with great reviews from teammates and friends.

Pros: Super low calorie, great for short quick workouts – sprints perhaps. Great packaging, low waste.

Cons: Not sustainable, artificial tasting.

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health and fitness

shin splints GYPSY BONES (JENNIFER HRONKIN MD), BOULDER COUNTY BOMBERS

what are shin splints?

Shin splints, otherwise known as medial tibial stress syndrome (MTSS), is a broad term for pain in the front of the leg anywhere between the knee and the ankle that occurs with exercise. They are most commonly located on the medial side of the shin (toward the inside of the leg along the tibia, known as medial shin splints), but can also occur toward the front outside part of the tibia (anterior shin splints). They tend to be a generalized pain (occurring over an area of several inches), as opposed to a pinpoint pain. Shin splints are a result of cumulative stress rather than an acute injury, and the symptoms can develop and increase gradually.

The cause of shin splints is multifactorial and often debated. The muscles on the front of the shin that work to lift the foot are encased in fascia, a tough non-stretchy tissue.

With exercise, the muscles also will naturally swell inside the fascia and this can cause pain. The underlying bone as well can develop microscopic stress fractures that can contribute to the problem. who is prone to shin splints?

Athletes that rapidly increase the amount of training they are doing, or change the surface or footwear that they use, can be prone to shin splints.

Overpronators (people with flat feet) Walter Romero / Hispanic Attack can be at risk as well, along with people with weak ankle muscles or a tight achilles tendon.

Derby players are at particular risk due to excessive stress placed on one leg and hip from always skating the same direction around the track. treatment and prevention Any athlete hates to hear this advice, but to heal ongoing problems with shin splints, it is often necessary to rest

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and even take some time off from your sport. Relative rest or “active rest,” switching to an activity like cycling or swimming that does not cause the shins to hurt, may be a good way to go. Ice and anti-inflammatories can help, as well. Some skaters use foam or plastic rollers (like “The Stick”) to stretch the affected muscles.

If you are an overpronator, an orthotic in your skates can help the problem. There are also neoprene compression sleeves that are sold to wear on the lower leg that some athletes have found useful.

Tape or an Ace bandage may also be used to wrap the lower leg.

Physical therapy and stretches can help. Stretch the achilles and calves on a regular basis. Some have advocated walking on your heels for 30 seconds, alternating with walking flat footed for 30 seconds, repeated for four or five minutes, several times a day, as both a treatment and prevention strategy.

Another stretch to try involves kneeling with the toes pointed straight back, then sitting back onto the calves and heels until tension is felt in the shins.

It may be difficult to spend a lot of time in derby skating in the opposite direction, but trying to do so for cooldown at the end of a workout might help to even things up a bit. when to return to activity?

Skaters with shin splints may need to take two to four weeks of relative rest to allow the chronic stress of shin splints to heal. They may take three to six months to heal fully.

When resuming activity, it is important to do it gradually: start at less than 50% time and intensity, and work up slowly to your normal schedule. If pain resumes, it’s a sign to notch back.

Warming up and stretching before exercise, and icing immediately afterward, can help, as well.

Not intended as medical advice. Consult your doctor with any problems.

Happy Flavors Rice Pilaf Catholic Cruel Girl, Rocky Mountain Rollergirls photo by Jean Schwarzwalder ingredients: 2 cups brown basmati rice 2 cups dried apricots cut into medium sized chunks 1 cup dried tart cherries 1 cup dried coconut flakes 2 cups slivered almonds 2 tablespoons coconut oil 2 cups chopped yellow onion ½ cup chopped red pepper ½ cup chopped yellow pepper

2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger 2 teaspoons minced garlic 2 teaspoons curry powder 2 teaspoons ground cumin 2 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon pepper 1 teaspoon ground cardamom 1 teaspoon grated orange peel 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel ½ teaspoon cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large saucepan bring the rice and 3½ cups water to a boil. Reduce to low heat and simmmer until rice in tender (about 45 minutes).

Combine apricots and tart cherries in a bowl. Cover with boiling water and let soak until fruit is plump.

Put coconut and almonds on two separate baking sheets. Bake until golden (coconut – about 3-4 minutes, almonds – 6-8 minutes).

In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt coconut oil. Add onion and peppers.

Cook for five minutes. Add ginger, garlic, curry powder, cumin, salt, pepper cardamom, orange peel, lemon peel and cinnamon. Stir for about one minute.

Remove from heat. Stir in rice, dried fruit, toasted almonds and toasted coconut.

Spoon mixture into a shallow 3-quart baking dish. Cover with foil.

Bake for about 20 minutes or until mixture is hot in the center.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 11

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fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 13

games and coaching

order of operations: the cutting edge SHOCKER KHAN, RAGE CITY ROLLERGIRLS

In the last issue of fiveonfive, I wrote the first Order of Operations article about breaking down new drills and complex/advanced skills into manageable chunks for skaters; essentially emphasizing the importance of baby steps. This next article focuses on skills that may seem daunting to new skaters and coaches. I will break down the skill into

Teaching adults is different from teaching children. Adults tend to question more often, especially when what they are learning is difficult for them to do (Why do we have to turn both directions?), so be prepared to answer the question, “Why are we doing this?” Children are more fearless, usually because they haven’t yet broken a bone or taken a sternum check.

manageable pieces and will include an applicable drill that focuses on the skill to wrap things up. This article is focused on new to intermediate skaters, but even the most amazing skater/coach may find some useful juicy tidbits of information.

Before we get into today’s skill, I’d like to tell you a little about my skating journey. Growing up in Alaska, we didn’t have many paved roads and even if we did, most of the year they were covered with ice/snow or gravel. Roller skating rinks were few and far between so getting to visit one was a rare treat.

Fast forward 20 years... there are even fewer roller skating rinks in Alaska, but I had a car and could drive to the rinks to go stumble, fall, and get up again whilst children whiz past me skating backwards with light-up wheels. It didn’t matter though, because I had a whole posse of new-to-skating adults stumbling, falling, and helping each other up skating with me.

Easing safety fears becomes a bigger concern with adults.

Both children and adults need repetition, praise, and a coach who can adjust their teaching style to what each skater needs in order to thrive. Because of this, teaching adults can be more complex, but it is just as rewarding. With those thoughts in mind, let’s move on to today’s lesson.

Using edges is vital when skating, whether you are talking about roller skating, ice skating, or even skate/longboarding.

Our edges allow us to turn, change speed, and stop, so basically they are part of almost every facet of skating. Just a few examples of skills where edges are used include weaves, duck walks (panther crawls), plow stops, cutting, and hockey stops. Today, we will be focusing on the last two items in the list, cutting and hockey stops.

Cutting is different from weaving, yet I have seen some skaters get confused and do a combination of the two skills.

We were the new intake of Rage City Rollergirls Fresh Meat, and we were tenderizing ourselves quite nicely.

Through my travels to different tournaments, boot camps, and conventions, it seems that many (if not most) roller derby skaters had a similar journey. Some were more prolific skaters as children, then hung up their skates for the past decade or so until they watched “Whip It” or their first bout, and others basically grew up in roller rinks, playing roller hockey or competing in speed skating events, but they tend to be the minority. It was daunting at first to watch skaters like Suzy Hotrod, Atomatrix, and Hockey Honey skate so beautifully and efficiently when I felt like a toddler in strap-on skates.

Now, after five years of skating, I am one of the most highly skilled skaters on my league and have no trouble transitioning either direction at full speed, jumping over fairly high and long barriers, or doing one-footed “ballerina turns.” The reason I am telling you this isn’t to brag, but to show you that middle-aged dogs can learn new tricks.

Weaving is akin to skiing moguls: knees bent and together, skates parallel, and ankles, hips, and upper body loose. Knees move together and lead the rest of the body back and forth on the track or around whatever obstacle is in the way.

Where weaving is more about keeping the body in more of a compressed state, cutting opens the body up.

When cutting, it’s as if the skater has taken a huge step forward and stays in that position; knees bent and apart from each other, weight slightly more on the rear leg, chest and shoulders open, and head turned in the direction of movement.

The skater should imagine a weight dangling from their groin and use that image to sink their groin towards the track. Once all of this is aligned, it should be easy to then turn in the direction of whichever skate is forward.

Here is a basic drill I like to use when teaching and/or practicing cutting. Set up cones about six-eight feet apart on the straightaways about two feet from the edges of the track alternating inside/outside. Have skaters split into two groups,

14 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

each group lines up single file around turns two and four, respectively. This drill can be done with one group, but I find it is better to have two groups if there are eight or more skaters so there isn’t too much time standing around during the drill.

Skaters cut through the cones, leading with the skate closest to the cone and switching in between cones. While going around the cone, skaters should open their chest and twist their upper half in the direction they are turning to help cut faster. As a coach, if I see a skater looking down at the cones when going around them or just having trouble being able to turn around the cone, I tell the skater to look back at the line they came from. This helps keep them from staring at their skates, cut at more of an acute angle, and open up their chest without thinking about it.

I also use the above drill to teach and practice hockey stops. Hockey stops tend to strike fear in many inexperienced skaters with premonitions of snapped ankles; however, once learned, they can actually be fun.

The trick is to ease a skater into performing the stop and, if done with finesse, you can even get a skater to do a hockey stop before they know it.

Here’s how: have the skaters perform the drill described above until they are comfortable with the exercise.

Next, adjust the cones so they are about six inches closer to each other yet still the same distance from the edges of the track (don’t pull the cones toward the center of the track, make the distance squatter not skinnier). This forces the skaters to cut at a sharper angle than they were in the cutting drill. Now, ask them to try to come to a stop right after cutting around each cone. Give skaters a couple rounds through the cones to practice on their own, then suggest skaters flick their outer hip

and heel once they have cut around the cone to see if that helps to stop them. Usually, after a bit of practice, most skaters will be able to come to a quick, controlled stop on one side, if not both. At this point, the skaters are essentially performing a hockey stop.

There are usually a couple skaters who will not be able to hockey stop. So here is another method for teaching/practicing hockey stops: Have skaters line up along one side of the room with enough room between each other so they can perform a plow stop without getting in each other’s way. The skaters are going to skate across the floor, performing a plow stop, either on the whistle or at specified places on the floor. In order to turn the plow stop into a hockey stop, skaters will first start to plow stop with only one skate/leg. Skaters will end up bringing the leg they are stopping with around and in front of them more than they would if they were using both legs.

Once they have practiced this a few times, have them continue to practice the one-legged plow stops, but now when they bring that leg around instruct them to also rotate the rear skate so it Jules Doyle ends up parallel with their other skate when they stop. They should end up having turned 90 degrees when they come to a stop, once again, essentially performing a hockey stop.

Well, that’s a quick and dirty overview on edges, along with a couple of examples showing how we use them in roller derby.

If you have any comments or questions and would like to get in contact with me, I prefer to be contacted through this email address: 2N1SkateShoppe@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you!

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 15

games and coaching

roller derby - the sport K N U C K L E S L A M W I T C H , TO R O N TO L O C O R O L L E R D E R B Y

When I started playing roller derby, I had never successfully played a sport. My childhood attempts to participate resulted in failure and humiliation. In fact, it took me a few months to realize that derby was a sport. My story is a common one throughout the roller derby community. A membership comprised of mainly people from non-sports backgrounds has resulted in not only a unique sport rooted in a DIY culture, but also some unique challenges. Not knowing anything about sports, it’s taken me a while to even notice that our community doesn’t really treat roller derby like other sports. When speaking with my more athletically-inclined friends about things happening in the roller derby community that, to me, seem very ordinary, I am inevitably confronted by confused expressions and questions, as they can’t comprehend the often extreme difference between roller derby and other sports or why we do some of the things we do. This has led me to the conclusion that we haven’t perfected the way we approach this whole roller derby thing yet. In fact, I would propose that many issues in our community have their roots in the fact that we still haven’t made the leap to not only thinking of roller derby as a sport, but also to viewing everything we do through this lens.

Many roller derby girls are known for their overuse of the f-word. But, in this case, I’m referring to a different f-word: feelings. In the current environment, the perfectly justified act of enforcing of the rules might receive an emotional reaction.

What’s more, equally emotional peers might also support this unacceptable reaction. Emotions are not a basis for policies, game rules, or decisions that affect health and safety. The overindulgence of feelings is based on the idea that a league is more like a family rather than a sports organization or, dare I say it, a business. Bad or overly sensitive behavior becomes ingrained when it is consistently shown to be acceptable. I refuse to buy into any essentialist arguments like “well that’s what happens when women get together” and I don’t believe that women are naturally “hysterical” or in some way are not entitled to emotional reactions when they are justified, but the high priority placed on feelings and the amount of drama that ensues seems particular to roller derby, which causes it to be detrimentally different from other sports.

The mentality that a league is more like a family also

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manifests itself in our sport’s heavy reliance on unpaid labor and the assumption that people are glad to donate their time to a roller derby league without receiving anything in return.

It’s quite common within roller derby leagues to rely on peer leadership, rather than a non-skater sourced from outside the league providing coaching, which results in teammates teaching teammates. Skaters also almost always provide the administration for the league, sometimes in combination with coaching. It’s only recently become commonplace to offer monetary compensation to refs when, in the past, refs were lucky to receive a free t-shirt in exchange for officiating. When juxtaposing this against other sports, it’s obvious that in other sports, there is not such a heavy reliance on volunteers or for the people participating in the sport to do so much. Referees in other sports are paid, even if it’s just a high school kid looking to earn some pocket money. Plus, it’s a bit tricky to express displeasure with someone’s performance when he or she is doing you a favor just by showing up. Roller derby has a proud tradition of “for the skater, by the skater,” but since the playing and administering of a roller derby league seemingly involve so many others who are not “skaters,” it may be time for this motto to be left in the dust. The benefit of looking for paid help or for leadership from outside the league is that the skaters can focus on the real reason they joined up in the first place: playing roller derby. There’s a reason that these things are commonplace in other sports.

Roller derby is also unique because of the lack of recognition of other levels or styles of play. There seems to be only one way to play roller derby, whereas in other sports, there is a wide spectrum of ways to participate in the sport. From pick-up basketball, to sledge hockey, to touch football, other sports have found ways of making room for people of different backgrounds and abilities to play by adding or reducing complexity where needed. This is perhaps the most important factor is our examination of how we can make roller derby more like other sports. Roller derby has always framed itself as the sport that is open to everyone regardless of size, shape or athletic ability.

How many times have we all heard that familiar phrase or used it to convince a friend to come out to practice? As roller derby advances, it’s up to us to make sure that it’s really true. Bringing

roller derby in line with other sports does not mean making roller derby only for “serious” players whose goal are to make it

“because we’ve always done it that way” or “that’s what we did at my old league.” Overall, I think we are moving in the right

to WFTDA Champs, World Cup or (hypothetically) the Olympics.

In fact, I’m arguing the opposite. Roller derby should be fun.

direction. The shift in penalties (under the WFTDA ruleset) from the now long-forgotten penalty wheel to a minors/majors system

There should be space for all different kinds of people to play it safely at all levels.

to the current penalty system that is akin to other mainstream sports is emblematic of our ability to change and evolve. We

Getting serious about making it a sport doesn’t mean sucking all the uniqueness out of it. Things like derby names may stay or go as the community sees fit – although, really, who wants to wade into that debate – just as things like the widespread acceptance of tutus and fighting have already disappeared.

Roller derby does well at honoring our traditions, but it’s time to examine why we do the things we do, and the answer can’t be

need to take our cue from sports that have made it into the mainstream and have global followings. This change has to come from within the roller derby community. There needs to be a profound paradigm shift in the way we approach this thing that draws us all together and, personally, I can’t wait to see the results.

DRILL drill: wolf pack

purpose: trap and slow a player down, work with partners/wall to slow down a pack or player, effectively communicate with your teammates, learn how to break through walls

One person is designated “IT.” Make it a surprise by having all of the girls close their eyes and tapping someone to be “IT.” Jules Doyle Everyone begins by skating on the track in derby direction. When she is ready, the “IT” sets out to trap and slow someone down. When she accomplishes this, that person becomes part of her “pack.” Then they must work together to trap and slow the next person, who will then join their pack.

This continues until they have a pack of five. Communication is key once the pack forms to identify their target and execute a coordinated attack. For the skaters trying not to get caught, it is an excellent drill for breaking through walls and getting unstuck. The free skaters can band together and create strategies to disorient the wolf pack so they can all get through. It is a great way to practice stop derby and how to counter stop derby and how to counter counter-stop-derby strategies.

Rules: The trapped skater is considered in the pack when the “IT”/wolf pack has legally blocked and slowed her down for three seconds.

If a penalty is called on a free skater, she must exit the track, do a lap on the outside, and re-enter behind the wolf pack.

If a penalty is called on a member of the wolf pack they lose a member.

If a penalty is called on the “IT” before she acquires a pack, she forfeits her “IT” status.

If a member of the wolf pack goes rogue, or the pack gets separated/split-up/forgets they are a pack, they forfeit a member.

Make it harder: If the “IT”/wolf pack traps and sends a skater out-of-bounds, she may only become part of the pack if they effectively pull her back at least 5 feet or 10 feet.

Put a time limit on how long the “IT” has to pick up her pack.

Only allow positional blocking! drill courtesy of allderbydrills.com fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 19

games and coaching

2013 championships J U S T I C E F E E L G O O D M A R S H A L L , W I N DY C I T Y R O L L E R S P H OTO S B Y J U L E S D OY L E

After previous visits to Austin, Portland, Philadelphia, Chicago, Denver and Atlanta, the best in flat track derby converged in Milwaukee for November’s 2013 WFTDA Championships, competing for the Hydra trophy that New York’s Gotham Girls had earned in 2011 and successfully defended in 2012.

In many ways, 2013 was a fresh beginning for the organization, which had dramatically overhauled its ruleset, its ranking method, and its playoff structure since 2012. The shakeups led to a few new faces among the 12 teams left standing after the playoffs; Ohio, Angel City and London appeared for the first time ever, while Rat City was present for the first time since 2008.

It was also the first Championships since 2008 that wasn’t going to feature the Oly Rollers in the final bout; Oly won in 2009 and was the runner-up in each of the next three years, but opted not to participate in the WFTDA playoff structure this year. Few doubted that dominant Gotham, riding a 41-game win streak into the weekend, would reach the final, but with most of the rest of the field practically impossible to triangulate, there was no clear favorite to challenge them.

Friday’s opening-round action, featuring the 8 teams that finished second and third in September’s four playoff tournaments, did absolutely nothing to clarify the situation – but it did represent the single most well-matched day of action the WFTDA postseason had ever seen. All four Friday games saw multiple lead changes and remained in question until the final five minutes – or later.

20 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

In the weekend’s first game, London crossed the pond for the second time in two months and kicked off the weekend as the first non-U.S. team to make an appearance at WFTDA Championships. After their very impressive performances against Rose City and Denver at the Fort Wayne regional playoffs – and opponent Atlanta’s 127-point loss to Bay Area in the final of the Salem playoffs – many observers thought London had a solid shot at going deep in the Championships tournament, but Atlanta didn’t quite see it that way.

The teams traded the lead five times over the first third of the game before Atlanta took a 68-59 lead with just under ten minutes to play in the first half. Atlanta never trailed again, although London was within single-jam striking distance for the whole run. Atlanta’s lead peaked at 31 points, 171-140, with three minutes left to play; London won the three last jams of the game, including a full-length 19-13 donnybrook of a final jam, but it wasn’t enough to erase the deficit. Atlanta advanced to play Texas with a 15-point victory, 184-169.

In the second game of the day, Angel City and Rocky Mountain went at it in another close matchup that was somewhat structurally similar to the opener. RMRG came in as a highly regarded team following two wins over Denver earlier in the season and a respectable performance against juggernaut Gotham in the final bout of the Asheville playoffs, while Angel City’s star had dimmed a bit after they were convincingly beaten by Philly in the Richmond semifinals.

Rocky Mountain had to recover from a flat start that saw them slowly fall into a 90-40 hole by the waning minutes of the first half, but a half-spanning three-jam, 37-0 run put them ahead by a hair in the opening minutes of the second half, 103-101. Angel immediately retook the lead, but lost it again with about 15 minutes to play. Rocky Mountain was clinging to a 182-174 lead with five minutes to play when they put Triple Shot Misto out for her first jam of the game. She cut the track twice in two jams, letting Angel City run up 30 unanswered points. That sequence put Angel City up by 22 points with under two minutes to play; two jams later, Angel City advanced to play Denver with a 228-198 victory.

Though they got strong performances from a rotation of Casstrator, Toxic Taunic and Alpha Q Up, Rocky was missing a key jammer in Sweet Mary Pain, who’d been one of their best weapons in the playoffs. On the flip side, Angel City got a surprising performance from Satan’s Little Helper, who put up a team-leading 54 points after having scored a grand total of zero points through the playoffs.

Both Rat City and Ohio came into the third opening-round game with a lot to prove. Ohio, making their first-ever appearance in Champs, had gotten something of a fortunate draw in the regional playoffs when powerhouse five seed Rose City ended up eliminated on the other side of the bracket against four seed London and second seed Montreal had a very flat weekend. That helped six seed Ohio qualify for a final game where Denver squashed them by 170 points. Meanwhile, Rat City, who finished third in Salem, had reached Championships in 2007 and 2008 but missed out for four years from 2009 to 2012 due to being stuck in the toughest region in the WFTDA.

In Milwaukee, it was Ohio that got to silence the doubters, riding a truly phenomenal performance from tireless Phoenix Bunz. Bunz not only put up an incredible 130 points on 13 jams for a +62 point differential, she also blocked an equal amount of jams and was only boxed twice.

Rat City didn’t go quietly, though, clawing back from a first-half 113-43 deficit to take a 151-147 lead early in the second. From there, neither team could gain solid advantage. The game climaxed with whiplash momentum changes as Rat’s own double-threat Carmen Getsome scored a 19-0 power jam to put Rat City up 208-195 with under five minutes to play, but Bunz put an exclamation point on her career game with a full-length 35-4 power jam of her own to put Ohio up 230-212 on the penultimate jam. The last jam went scoreless, allowing Ohio to advance to play Gotham on Saturday.

Friday’s closing grudge match between Windy City and Philly managed to live up to the standard set by the day’s opening three – not to mention the standard set by the teams’ most recent meeting, a 190-189 overtime thriller for Philly at June’s East Coast Derby Extravaganza. This time out, Philly led for much of the first half, though WCR was up 115-99 at the break; Philly came back to lead twice in the second half and hold a 170-169 lead with nine minutes to play. However, WCR’s defense, led by heavily-used Bork Bork Bork, KonichiWOW and Ruth Enasia, nearly flatlined Philly in the homestretch and WCR closed the game on a 47-4 run to win 221-174.

It was a particularly satisfying victory for the team from Chicago, who finally broke a four-year streak of being eliminated in their first game at Championships – and also finally got their first win ever over Philly, who’d defeated them in their previous four meetings.

The win sent Windy City to face Bay Area in the quarterfinals.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 21

games and coaching After the nonstop lead changes and late-game heroics on Friday’s opening-round games, things suddenly got a lot more predictable in Saturday’s quarterfinal rounds. All four of the #1 seeds – Texas, Denver, Gotham and Bay Area – handily

244 points going into the game, but Bay Area never fell more than 70 points behind in this one.

The second half included a stirring seven-jam Bay Area stand that saw them hold Gotham scoreless for ten minutes and put up 34 unanswered points. That put Bay Area within

blew out Friday’s winners.

Denver’s 200-125 win over Angel City stood as the closest

shouting distance of an improbable upset at 145-117 with

quarterfinal, while Gotham absolutely crushed Ohio, setting multiple new records for Championships dominance with a 445-point win at 509-64; Ohio only scored 8 points in the first half against 304 for Gotham. The other quarterfinals saw Texas boot Atlanta by 93 points (227-134) and Bay Area eject Windy City by 95 (230-135).

That set up a final four of Texas vs Denver and Bay Area vs Gotham – which got back to expectations being subverted.

History suggested that Texas / Denver would be a close one, as it was a rematch of the memorable 2012 third-place game that saw Denver come back late to narrowly win 210-199; earlier in 2013, Texas had won a close regular-season game 227-189. In Milwaukee, though, it was a much different story as Texas was at the absolute peak of their game while Denver simply could not keep their jammers – or blockers, for that matter – on the track. The Mile High Club got smacked with 13 jammer box trip and 51 penalties overall against 4 / 27 for Texas, leading to a lopsided 298-129 win for Texas and their first trip to the WFTDA championship game since 2009.

To pretty much everybody’s surprise, Bay Area / Gotham ended up being the more competitive semifinal. Although Bay Area trailed for all but the first jam of the game, they captured the crowd by managing to stay in the ring with the previously untouchable champs all the way through. Gotham’s average margin of victory through the postseason stood at a stunning

around ten minutes to play, but Gotham shook it off and brought the game in for a safe landing at 174-125. Still, though, Bay Area won the second half 78-72 – the first time Gotham had been outscored in a half in three years.

After a night for everybody to catch their breath, action began a bit earlier than usual on Sunday as WFTDA’s new division structure allowed for third-place and championship games for Division II teams. The third place game saw Blue Ridge (Asheville, NC) win 215-188 over Sac City (Sacramento, CA), while the Division II championship proved to be the closest game of the weekend as Jet City (Everett, WA) squeaked out a hotly contested one point win over Santa Cruz.

Back in Division I, the third-place game between Bay Area and Denver was a rematch of a July bout that Denver had won by 44 points, but for the second day in a row Denver ran into a team playing their best derby of the year right as Denver was stumbling. Bay Area won by 50 points this time out, 224-174.

Although the overall penalty situation was even in this one at 37 for each team, Denver again was beset by jammer penalties, committing ten to Bay Area’s six. The 50 point margin was actually a bit misleading, as BAD already had a 52 point lead at halftime and consistently padded it through the second, leaving them up by a very comfortable 83 points with five minutes remaining. Denver’s 33-0 run to end the game was far too little far too late, and Bay Area claimed their best postseason showing ever by finishing in third place.

22 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

The tournament had one final surprise in store for the

Gotham opened the second half on a four-jam 14-1 run

derby faithful in the Gotham / Texas final. Even after looking

to take their biggest lead of the game at 122-83, but Texas

uncharacteristically mortal against Bay Area on Saturday night, Gotham was an overwhelming favorite in the game, riding a

erased all of that in a hurry when a jammer penalty on Gotham’s Claire D Way turned into 19-0 and 25-0 jams for Texas. It was

43-game win streak and having smashed Texas 313-66 in June.

But Texas, historically known for playing their finest derby in

127-126 Texas with 21 minutes to play, and Gotham would run Bonnie Thunders and Suzy Hotrod back to back for the rest of

the postseason, took things to a whole new level against Gotham, giving the defending champions their toughest test since 2010.

The game started mostly as expected, with Gotham opening up a 49-23 lead after about ten minutes; Texas had scored almost all of their points on a single 19-0 power jam at that point.

But it quickly became clear that Texas was going to improve on Bay Area’s already-impressive performance. A tight Texas blocker rotation that saw a lot of work from Smarty Pants, Fifi Nomenon and Barbara Ambush managed to slow Gotham scoring down, allowing Texas to tie the game at 67 with ten minutes left in the half, and they’d hold the lead over the next three jams before Gotham took it back at 97-80. At the half Gotham was up by just a jam’s worth of points, 108-82.

the game.

The Texas trio of Bloody Mary, Hauss the Boss and Olivia Shootin John paced them almost perfectly for the next nine jams, which saw three lead changes and Gotham ahead by just four points, 167-163, with eight minutes left in the game.

But just as was the case against Bay Area on Saturday, Gotham remained calm and effective even under unfamiliar pressure. Their defense clamped down and only allowed Texas to get lead on one of the final six jams, and Texas could only convert it to 4-2. Going into the final jam, Texas still had a prayer at a score of 199-173, but Bonnie Thunders claimed lead jammer and called it at 0-0 to hand Gotham their third WFTDA title in a row and 44th straight win.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 23

gear

a guide to derby gear A L I E G E N S H E I M E R , O D O R G L A D I ATO R

To look, feel and play your best on the track, you’ve got to have the right gear. Derby players suit up from head to toe to keep themselves safe, secure, and stylish, which means they have to invest in equipment that fits right, looks great, and lasts. If you’re in the market to try something new or are looking for tips to maximize fit and function, take a cue from Department of Skate shop owner, Yvonne Dailey and Fast Girl Skates owner, Jenny Savaglio, whose fingers are always on the pulse of the latest and greatest derby gear. From D.C. to Seattle, we spanned the coasts to get the lowdown on derby equipment. the big picture The “it” factor that brings both your individual and team’s look together is the uniform. Some teams’ uniforms are not, well, uniform, while others prefer to look perfectly in sync. Teams these days are leaning toward coordinating outfits, as it not only looks polished, but shows they mean business on the track.

“My home team Scare Force One just got awesome new uniforms from PivotStar. They look amazing on everyone no matter what body type, are inexpensive, and only take a few days to order and ship,” says Dailey. “They are comfy, breathable and won’t snag on Velcro. Ours have amazing custom vinyl work done for us by Anna Nicole Smithereens at House of Smithereens. I love Derby Skinz too. I have my rainbow rufflebuttz displayed on a shelf at the shop where they are handy for frequent impromptu dance parties.”

Savaglio’s IronDoll uniform shares the same characteristics as Dailey’s – breathable, comfortable, cute and doesn’t pill from Velcro. On bottom she loves leggings and the Lift and Separate booty shorts. get your head in the game It’s impossible (well at least physically) to get your head in the game without a helmet. When it comes to choosing a helmet, comfort and fit go hand-in-hand, as you need a helmet that feels just right and won’t slip off. Dailey just started wearing a Bauer hockey helmet, but finds that another super safe bet is the S-One Lifer. Savaglio agrees that hockey helmets provide excellent protection, but can be cost prohibitive for some. She also thinks the Lifer is a great choice, as is the Triple 8 if you’re looking for a single impact helmet – this means that it’s meant to take one significant impact before needing to be replaced. Because of her selfproclaimed tiny head, Savaglio wears a Protec Junior sized shell with the Triple 8 sweatsaver liner.

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mouth off Thanks to recent advances in mouthguard technology, you actually can mouth off (or better yet, encourage your teammates) with your mouthguard in. Many mouthguards are both thin and strong, so you can easily talk, breathe and drink safely. Dailey’s Sisu mouthguard is so comfortable that she often drives home from practice not realizing she’s still wearing it. While Savaglio admits that thin mouthguards are “super comfy and do disperse some impact,” she warns players that they may need extra protection.

“A thicker mouthguard is going to be more protective, just like a hockey or single impact helmet is more protective,” she said. She wears a sports mouthguard that her dentist made from a mold of her teeth. It cost under $50 and provides the comfort of a custom fit, while also offering additional protection.

“Personally, I feel that the mouthguard is as important as your helmet. Many, many traumatic brain injuries happen from the teeth slamming together. A mouthguard attempts to mitigate damage to the brain by putting padding between the teeth AND dispersing impact. We as skaters need to decide WHERE we are vulnerable to injury; taking into account our size, stature, height, experience and the way we fall – then add extra protection accordingly.” prepare to take a tumble Though pricey, both skate shop owners can’t emphasize enough the importance of pads. “I always tell new skaters that good kneepads may seem expensive but are way cheaper than knee surgery,” says Dailey. “I love my TSG Force IV pads. Two other excellent knee pads that I recommend are 187 Killer Pro Derby and Deadbolt. For wrist guards I swear by Triple 8 RD wrist savers, and I am currently in love with the Atom gear elbow pads – but that’s just me. Everyone is shaped and built differently; what works for your derby wife may not work for you. Try pads on, get in derby

Kevin Rosinbum

stance, move around, see what is comfortable.”

Savaglio agrees that skaters should ensure that pads fit comfortably and consider where they are most vulnerable to injury in order to determine where they need extra protection.

“I personally don’t fall on my knees much, if ever, so I have the less padded kneepads, but if you do tend to fall on your knees, more padding is a great choice,” she says. Skaters must also take how they fall into account when choosing wrist protection. “Some skaters need the wrist to be flexible rather than not, and some need protection in the palm of the hand,” Savaglio adds.

“Ultimately, it’s about what feels good to you as the skater.”

While pads are expensive, both women say that pad care and maintenance will allow you to get the most out of them. “Don't leave them in your bag!” Savaglio says. Dailey agrees, but admits there are times when she simply forgets or her bag develops a stench just traveling home from a bout—this is where her Odor Gladiator comes in handy.

“There is science inside my Odor Gladiator! Anyone who doesn't believe it or hasn't tried one is made to sniff my bag, and they always come out with an amazed look on their faces. These things are phenomenal. I can't say it enough.”

skate talk From boots and bearings to plates and wheels, having the right skates is crucial in derby, as they’re your only mode of transportation around the track. Your skates determine your speed, maneuverability, and most importantly, whether or not you will lose a toenail.

According to both shop owners, being able to try on boots in person is the best way to guarantee the right fit. The other perk of buying skates in a shop is that you’ll have gurus like these women there to help you find a pair that suits your feet and your budget.

“Skaters ask all the time what skate boot is best and my answer is always the same: you will know when you put it on. The best boot for you is the one that fits and you will know it when you find it,” says Dailey.

“Yvonne is right on the money,” replies Savaglio. “There is NO substitute for putting boots on feet. I also teach skaters to consider personal preferences, such as whether or not they want extra support and how tight they want their boots to be.” She references the article on boots in fiveonfive’s Issue 20 as a great resource.

While there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to boots, Dailey finds that Riedell 595s and Bonts are the best fit for her wide

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gear

Yvonne Dailey

feet. She often recommends Brooklyn's Murillo 340, as they are “amazingly beautiful and comfortable boot right out of the box.”

She adds, “Crazy, Antik and Vertigo are awesome too, they just aren't the right fit for my foot.”

Lacing also has a huge impact on how well boots fit and how comfortable they are. Dailey’s trick is to use two sets of short laces on each skate – one lace for the bottom four holes so they can be looser and one lace for the top four holes so they can be tighter and really lock her heel in.

When choosing plates, it’s important to do your homework. “Find out how plates differ and why,” says Dailey. “Understanding the mechanics will help you decide which plates may work best for you. Also, learn how to adjust them and properly maintain them.

Having your trucks adjusted properly makes a huge difference, especially when you are learning how to skate. Don’t go for a plate just because everyone else is getting it.” Her current favorites are laser hardnose with DA 45 trucks. And she says Crazy, Pilot, Powerdyne, and Sure Grip also make great plates.

According to Savaglio, Roll Line plates are the Cadillac of plates.

“They’re made in Italy, practically bulletproof, and used by roller hockey players – they’re spectacular,” she says. If skaters are looking for something other than metric plates, she recommends Crazy’s Venus plates. “They’re modeled after the Roll Line, easy to adjust, durable and beautifully responsive. They also have a curvy, sexy aesthetic and come in colors! I get way more in depth on plates and mounting in fiveonfive’s Issues 18 and 21. Check it out if you totally want to geek out with me.”

Surface, skating style, and body weight all affect wheel choice.

Department of Skate has a loaner program that allows skaters to try wheels before buying them, which Dailey encourages. She skates at the DC Armory where the floors are slippery, so she uses

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Rollerbones Turbos or the new Radar Presto wheels.

Because of the sheer number of wheel choices today, Savaglio says she doesn’t envy new skaters who have to decide which ones to get. She finds that Rollerbones Turbos and Grip Zombies are both safe bets.

“I am a believer in ‘if it ain’t broke...’ so once I found wheels I was happy with for the surface I skate on the most, I stuck to it,” she says.

Lastly, bearings: both women find that Bones Reds are handsdown the best bearings for their price. Bottom line: Fancy bearings are for people who aren’t lazy about cleaning them.

“Put your money into better boots or plates,” says Savaglio. bag of tricks As derby girls themselves, Dailey and Savaglio have seen their fair share of equipment mishaps on the track and are always at the ready to remedy them. Here’s what they keep in their bags just in case.

“In addition to my Odor Gladiator, I keep KT Tape, tons of skate tools and random parts for fixing whatever might go wrong on anyone’s skates during practice. Also Sharpies, black and white scrimmage shirts (Riedell has an awesome two-pack of racer backs for $25), duct tape, and wipes for cleaning dusty wheels and sweaty faces,” says Dailey. Savaglio’s bag looks similar.

“Duct tape – I use it to tape my feet, as toe guards, to get crap off my wheels, and to hold on any padding that might be moving.

I also always have tools for every kind of plate, bearings, and hardware for all the girls who need a skate tech at practice. And a spare cheap mouthguard because someone always forgets.

Also a Sharpie, wet rag, and dry rag.”

wftda

how did you discover roller derby?

Masonite Burn

Watching the amazing talent on display at the 2013 Women’s Flat Track Derby Association Championships in November, it’s easy to forget that all of these skaters were were once brand new to the sport.

Leading up to Championships weekend, the WFTDA asked a few of the participating skaters to share their stories of how they discovered and fell in love with the sport of women’s flat track roller derby.

The Smacktivist in her very first game, a themed intraleague bout called “Skatemare”

Mick Swagger in her first season on the Rose City Rollers travel team

The Smacktivist #365

Mick Swagger #53

Ohio Roller Girls

Gotham Girls Roller Derby (Formerly Rose City Rollers)

When I joined the Ohio Roller Girls in August of 2011, I had no

When I was Rose City “fresh meat” the WFTDA Championships

idea how the league and the sport would become a catalyst for

were held in Portland. I was mesmerized by the ability of the

positive changes in my life. I also had no idea what an intense

skaters at the top level of the sport. I knew I wanted to be there.

and dedicated league OHRG was.

The following week at practice before we started our timed sprint

I feel like I was definitely set up for success with a league

laps, our coach yelled, “Who watched Championships and wants

that plays so many games, having played very competitive

to be there next year?” I immediately raised my hand and yelled

travel hockey throughout high school. My first season was such

“I do.” No one else raised their hand or yelled like me. I felt a little

a whirlwind and I jumped right into playing with the Charter Team,

dorky, but that was what my heart wanted. I vowed to never stop

as well as with our B team, Gang Green, that I didn’t even have

working until I got there. Within eight months, I was bouting with

time to feel much like a rookie.

Rose City’s travel team. Every moment on RCR TT when we

If I had one piece of advice for new skaters or folks thinking about skating it’s be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to learn and develop as a skater and don’t be hard on yourself if you aren’t getting things right away! It will come with practice!

Derby should be fun!

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advanced in ranking to Regionals and then to Championships was a significant, cry like a baby, joyous occasion.

Neal “Hassle Brad” Humphris

Bloody Mary and some of the Texecutioners at the West Region Playoffs in 2008

Raw Heidi #357

Bloody Mary #30

London Rollergirls

Texas Rollergirls

I had heard of these mysterious ‘rollergirls’ in London before but

The first glimpse I got of roller derby was on a poster at

had assumed they were some kind of vintage hipster types, so it

Rock ‘N’ Roll Rentals, where my boyfriend at the time worked.

wasn’t until my pal invited me to “drink beer and watch girls

The rollergirls were coming in to rent their PA there, and they

smash into each other on rollerskates,” that my interest in derby

gave us tickets. The program said, “Want to be a rollergirl?

was really piqued. But boy was it piqued!! I worked myself into

See Melicious.”

a fever pitch leading up to the bout, and of course we were late,

These are the moments that change your life, right? I didn’t

and of course we got lost, but when we finally got into the sports

know how to skate before roller derby – in fact, I had two plates

centre, I was immediately struck by that derby bolt that got

in my arm from a terrible broken arm at a childhood skating party,

so many of us.

and I had been certain I never needed to roller skate again. But

How could this game even EXIST without me in it? How had it

something happens when you see yourself reflected in roller

thus far escaped my attentions? And how could I charm or trick

derby. Before I could flinch, I was carpooling to a skating rink

my way into skating ASAP with these kind of tough, scary looking

twice a week and trying to learn to skate backwards, on brown

cool chicks? I breathlessly told one of the skaters I wanted to join

rental skates, in a corner of roller derby practice.

in one of the breaks (remember three periods? Remember?

I still can’t backwards skate.

Huh?). And she spoke to me in a way that would become second nature to me in time, wanting to be polite to someone in the break but head really still in the game. ... She foolishly gave me the info I needed, mind you.

I borrowed the whole kit and kaboodle from friendly rollergirls and was skate-ready in less than three weeks. I pretty much was more scared than I had ever been of anything in my life, but after discovering I could still put to good use some of my misspent rollerblading teenage skillz and entering into a fierce competition immediately with the other newbies, my time at LRG had begun.

Little did I know how life altering that decision to brave going to a crappy little gym in East London on a grey Saturday afternoon would be.

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junior derby

junior derby gear J E N N I F E R S AVA G L I O A K A L A P E T I T E M O RT, FA S T G I R L S K AT E S

My child wants to start junior derby, now what?

With the huge growth of junior roller derby in the U.S. and all over the world, I wanted to give parents an overview of what they are in store for if their child wants to begin playing.

Our mission at Fast Girl Skates is education above all.

Therefore, what follows is information based on our experience in the store helping hundreds of juniors and parents. I am including some tips as well, but it is ultimately up to the parent to decide what is most important and/or the best value for your junior skater.

Let’s start with size and stature. Some juniors have grown enough that they can wear adult sizes, so the information below is primarily for skaters that are smaller. skates: One of the most important things to most parents when buying skates for their junior is value. Meaning quality and cost effectiveness. It is easy for some parents to fall into the trap of heading down to the local “all sports” or “big box” store and buying their child a $50 set of skates that are more like toys, just to have to almost immediately shell out another $150 to get a pair actually suited for the rigors of derby. I have often been witness to the moment when a parent realizes it would have been better to just buy a more expensive pair to begin with. Some other parents have their junior hit a growth spurt or two within a shorter span than expected, and find themselves needing to replace the skates sooner than they thought.

Parents; (in no particular order) here’s what you are in for, as well as some factors to consider and common questions that I have been asked over the years: 1. How long will my junior be able to wear these/how long will these last? It depends on the skater, how much they wear them, where they wear them (indoor/outdoor), and how well they take care of them. One season is usually a good benchmark.

2. Is your junior hard on their other sports equipment, boots, shoes, sneakers? If they are hard on their other shoes and boots, that is a good indicator they will be hard on their skates. Protect them with toe guards and duct tape, or plan to replace them before the skater outgrows them.

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3. If my junior’s skates are in good enough shape when she outgrows them or decides not to continue roller derby is it easy to sell them? It depends on how strong your area’s junior program is. That said, it doesn’t take a whole lot of participation to create a need for a wide range of junior sizes. That’s where Craigslist and/or a local skate shop can usually help you consign them. You can also use your junior derby community facebook or forum to advertise used skates.

4. OK, you found some skates on consignment or in Craigslist. How do you know they are safe? For skates bought from a private party on a service like Craigslist or on a forum, there is a good bit of common sense that needs to be employed. Do they look like they have been well taken care of and or barely used? Are they very dirty especially inside the wheel hubs? While dirt and grime is a fact of nearly any practice space, overly dirty skates can indicate a lack of basic maintenance and may lead to the need to replace parts soon. Does the boot have any spots that have been worn though (make sure to check under toe guards), or is the sole separating? If yes, I would stay away. Check the plate, trucks and wheels. Do you see any rust on the metal parts? If so it could indicate the skates have been left in a wet bag or used in the rain. Rust not only attacks bearings, but also important attachment hardware and can spell trouble down the road. Finally, are the wheels chipped, coned (outside of the wheel is smaller than the inside), or separating from the hub? Any of these probably indicate a new set of wheels is in your near future so keep that in mind when considering the price. And keep in mind that wheels are about $50-$100 for a set of eight. For skates bought on consignment from a rink or a local derby shop, the retailer should have corrected any of these issues or should be up front on how much more wear is left on any of the components. This is tricky for a retailer as even new skates can have unexpected and unforeseen problems develop. Just use your best judgment and ask questions. If you feel you are not getting straightforward answers, maybe a new skate is a safer way to go. Finally, as with all skates, just because a second hand skate is a good deal, doesn’t

necessarily mean it is a good skate for your junior. This article’s advice applies just as much to the secondhand skate as it does to the new one.

5. How advanced is the junior league your skater is trying out for? If they are an established league with excellent training, you might have to buy better skates then at a sporting goods store, or they will quickly outperform them.

6. How large should you buy them? Should you leave them room to grow? Yes and no. You can give them a bit of room for growth (usually no more than a size and a half), but too much can be cumbersome and unwieldy. I would never suggest buying skates too small for a junior no matter what they cost. Skating is too demanding and “a little too tight” will turn into “very painful” quickly.

3. Riedell’s R3 still remains a best seller at $119 for the recreational set up; OR the “derby” package with the derby wheels and toe cap for $149.

Don’t let me scare you off. There are good options currently on the market for juniors that are still growing: (Remember, skates come in men’s U.S. sizes.)

4. Crazy Skates VXi is similar to the R3, but has derby wheels already on it and a black Apollo plate for $119 or, for $149, the skater can choose the toe stop type, plate color and lace color.

Sizes down to 1.

1. Crazy Skates’ DBXj: An excellent skate for juniors as far as quality and price. This is the only derby skate on the market specifically designed for children and growing feet by including three different sized insoles to accommodate growth. With a supportive outsole and patented Heel Lock Technology (HLT), which is a support system that eliminates lateral slide inside the boot, a growing foot need not be compromised by the convention of allowing “growth room.” Price: $159.00, and you get 3 sizes in one! Sizes 1-3 and 3-5.

5. Bont Quad Junior Hybrid Package: These boots are made with a fiberglass heat moldable base and a tough Microfiber outer skin. Comes in White with Pink and White with Blue.

Nylon plate and bont wheels included. $149.00 sizes junior 13 – men’s size 6.

2. For larger, “still growing” skaters (If your junior goes past a size 5) Crazy also offers the DBX1, which also has multiple insoles, and comes in sizes 6-8 and 8-10 for the same price.

Alternatively, there are plenty of other skates that come in sizes down to men’s size 1. They however do not allow for three sizes of growth using the same boot. These skates are as follows:

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junior derby And for the teeny tiny sized juniors: 6. Crazy’s Rocket skate comes in sizes from J10-J13. $59.00

helmet and mouthguard: A trend we are seeing in derby is the movement away from soft foam helmets to hard foam helmets. A helmet that has only soft foam and an outer shell, means it is made to take more than one impact before it needs to be replaced. A hard foam helmet is usually rated for safety, ASTM or CPSC and is sometimes single impact, meaning if it takes a significant impact, its hard foam is made to crack and should be replaced. Triple 8 and S One have helmets available in both soft and hard foam versions.

Most parents prefer their junior derby players to wear the most protective helmets. I know some parents already have a bicycle helmet from a reputable company that fits this requirement. This is fine, but as always make sure the fit is proper (not too loose) or a new helmet should be first on the list. Also, unlike skates, I would caution against buying your junior a “used” helmet, simply because you don’t know what kind of trauma it has gone through.

Let’s not forget about the other half of the Traumatic Brain Injury mitigation: mouthguard. The mouthguard is as important as the helmet. Many, many TBI’s (Traumatic Brain Injuries) happen from the teeth slamming together and transferring kinetic energy directly into the skull, causing the brain to get tossed around and against the skull.

If you are concerned about a head injury, and are willing to make the investment on a certified helmet – don’t forget about good protection for the mouth. A mouthguard attempts to mitigate damage to the brain by putting padding between the teeth and dispersing impact energy. A thin mouthguard is super comfy, and allows the skater to drink, talk and breathe more easily, and does disperse some impact, but a thicker mouthguard is going to be more protective, just like hockey

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or hard foam helmets are more protective. A good option for the best fit is to go to the dentist and get a sports mouthguard that is made out of an impression of your junior’s teeth. These should cost under $50. It gives the comfort of a custom fit, and the extra protection/padding.

Some helmets we recommend for juniors: • S One Junior Lifer Helmet: Dual certified ASTM and CPSC. $45.

• Triple 8 Little Tricky: This junior Helmet is also Dual certified ASTM and CPSC. It is $40.

• You can also buy your junior skater a hockey helmet, but the cost can be prohibitive at $100 and up. proper fit: The helmet should sit low on the forehead without being too loose, down toward the brows, the chin strap should be fastened such that only one finger can be tucked in between the strap and the chin. Stand in front of your skater and put your hands on both sides of the helmet while they are wearing it. Gently tilt the helmet from front to back. If the helmet moves freely on their head so their forehead is exposed when tilting the helmet backwards and their eyes are covered when tilting the helmet forward, the helmet is too big. The head should want to tilt with the helmet while still not “crushing” the head for a proper fit. Mouthguard should stay in the mouth when the mouth is open. padding: Shorts – Per our request McDavid made us a “derby” version of their sliding shorts and they have always been popular with derby players. They consist of a compression short with hex padding along the hips, outer thighs, buttocks and tailbone.

This hex padding does a great job at impact disbursement.

We also make sure they make them in the really small sizes.

The XS long version of the shorts is a great fit for most of our petite junior derby skaters. Some junior leagues even require them for skaters. They cost $50-$55. Other brands, such as Triple 8 also offer padded shorts, such as the Bum Savers, but if you go looking for shorts from other companies or sports for your junior, try to avoid the shorts with hard outer shell padding, as it can cause injury to the other skaters your junior plays with.

knee, elbow and wrist: The most important thing about your junior’s padding is that it stays on them. A snug fit is really important when the pads are new. Larger or older junior skaters can wear adult padding, average sized juniors can wear the junior versions of the adult pads bought separately, but the littlest junior skaters only have a few options to choose from. The smallest sized pads are typically offered in sets of knee, elbow and wrist. Caution: the “toy” pads found at some big box and sporting good stores often do not protect very well. Here is a breakdown: Tier One: Adult Knee, Elbow and Wrist guards all bought separately costs about $100.

Tier Two: Junior Knee, Elbow and Wrist all bought separately costs about $75.

• ProTec manufactures separates of Knee, Elbow and Wrist pads for juniors. Knee pads are $25, Elbow $20 and Wrist $18.

• Triple 8 makes their adult pads in junior sizes (smaller than their adult xs) that can be bought separately. Knee $35, Elbow, $20 and Wrist $20.

• Tier Three: The littlest pads come in a three pack of Knee, Elbow and Wrist and cost $40-$50.

• 187 Junior Derby Pad set – great for petite to very petite skaters. $50.

• Bern makes a great junior derby pad set for the petite to very petite and it comes in colors. Black with gray, black with blue and black with red for $40. The one drawback is that these are often in high demand and can be difficult to find.

• Smith Scabs makes a great junior pad set for even the smallest of skaters, for $40.

care and maintenance: As a junior coach and teacher, I teach the kids early to not leave their gear in their gear bag. Be sure they take it out and let it air out after each wearing. This one thing will significantly prolong the life of your junior’s pads and skates.

For washing, close all the Velcro on all the pads, and wash with cold water with regular detergent. You can add Oxy Clean or a similar product to help with odor. Do not use bleach. Do not put in the dryer. Exposing pads to extreme chemicals and/or temperatures wears the elastic in the fabric down prematurely.

Pads are ready to be replaced when: 1. They no longer stay on the skater because they have stretched, ripped or the elastic on the straps is completely worn out.

2. The skater is getting bruises THROUGH the padding even if the padding stays in place.

3. The pads smell so bad you no longer want them in your home.

Having a junior derby player in the family is a wonderful thing – the biggest challenge can be having to buy equipment over and over again. The junior Derby communities I have seen are really tight and supportive of each other and it is a great place for an open exchange, or trade skates program. Derby equipment isn’t really that different from any other sports equipment. A little common sense coupled with a good amount of emphasis on safety will steer you in the right direction.

Hopefully this article will help you get a little more value for your efforts as well.

Eric Korn

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rookie

CUP OLD XCHOOL, TSUNAMI SIRENS

Roller Derby. Just a lot of chaos or is there something else that I am missing?

Brian Chilson

A bout is skated one jam at a time. Like a chess game the jams create a pattern. The opening game (jam), the middle game (jam), and the end game (jam). Every jam has opening jam strategies (Jam start line, Pivot start line, with Plays and Stunts). The opening jam strategy will determine your offensive or defensive status for any given jam. Then each jam evolves to the Middle Jam situations (offense or defense). Followed by the End Jam situations. How you and your team respond to these Middle and End jam situations defines your game (jam) strategy. I call the Middle and End game the CUP. The CUP: (Contested-Jam, Uncontested-Jam, Power-Jam) this is the middle game of derby! The CUP played on the offensive or the defensive side during each and every jam.

C = Contested Jam: Both jammers are out of the pack and after their initial pass through the pack, both jammers are very close together, Hit it and Quit It situation. a) Offensive Contested Jam – If your jammer is the leading jammer (not necessarily Lead Jammer) and that jammer leads by a quarter of a lap or less.

What do you and your team do? b) Defensive Contested Jam– If the opponents have leading jammer (not necessarily Lead Jammer) and that jammer leads by a quarter of a lap or less.

What do you and your team do?

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U = Uncontested Jam: Both jammers are on the floor but one of the jammers cannot or has not released from the pack.

If a jammer is in a position to score four points without their opponent’s jammer scoring any points, this is an uncontested jam. a) Offensive Uncontested Jam – If your jammer is out of the pack and the opponent’s jammer is stuck in the pack or onethird lap behind.

What do you and your team do? b) Defensive Uncontested Jam–The Opponents jammer is out of the pack and your jammer is stuck in the pack.

What do you and your team do?

P = Power Jam: (One of the jammers is in the Penalty Box). a) Offensive Power Jam – your team has a jammer on the floor and the opponent’s jammer is in the Penalty Box. What do you and your team do? b) Defensive Power Jam – Opponents have a jammer on the floor and your jammer is in the Penalty Box. What do you and your team do?

Skating skills aside, when you answer each CUP question as a skater and as a team, you begin to remove the chaos from the game of derby at all levels of the game. The CUP is one way of getting everybody on the same page. Add it to your game and use the following worksheet to analyze your jams, review your overall bout strategy, review videos of your bouts or just teach skaters your strategy.

CUP Worksheet: Train yourself to see and think the CUP game plan! Watch a bout video and score it using a CUP work sheet. You will see how every jam fits somewhere within the CUP situations. How you and your team respond defines your bout strategy. For the coach, this is a great real-time tool to relay info to your team during half time or any time during a bout. To use this worksheet, follow each team as they are on offense (the other team is automatically defense). Some example entries:

Home: Team A Jam C

Visitor:Team B

U

P

pt

Jammer

C

U

P pt

Jammer

Comments

1

X

U

P

4

#113

C

U

P

1

#40

Team A: offensive Contested jam, enter score board, points and jammer #s

2

C

U

P

4

#911

C

X

P

6

#35

Team B: offensive Uncontested jam, enter score board, points and jammer #s

3

C

X

X 24

#187

C

U

P

6

#88

Team A: offensive Uncontested jam, opponent cuts the track and it becomes a power jam

Periods consist of less than 30 jams; one work sheet with 1-30 jams for each period is needed.

This column used for the coaches jam by jam comments during the bout.

What does the CUP worksheet tell you?

1) Lots of contested jams (offensive or defensive): This will equal a close low scoring bout, this is the nature of the Contested jam, they only yield one or two points per jam.

2) Lots of offensive Uncontested jams: Would tell you your jammers are hitting the gaps, your blockers are making gaps for the jammer, or a little of both.

5) Lots of defensive Power jams: Would tell you your jammers are having trouble, the score should indicate your disadvantage. Beware that this is an indication of a jam referee calling the game closer than the other jam referee and this should change in the second period. This is also an indication of unseasoned jammers getting too much Penalty Box time.

3) Lots of defensive Uncontested jams: Would tell you that the blockers are not holding up your opponents jammers or your jammer help is poor or your jammers are unseasoned. Could be a mismatch of skaters on your lines.

4) Lots of offensive Power jams: Would tell you your team is on a roll and the score should indicate your advantage. Beware that this is an indication of a jam referee calling the game closer than the other jam referee and this should change in the second period. This is also an indication of unseasoned jammers getting too much Penalty Box time.

So much can be characterized from the CUP worksheet that will help the coach, the individual skater, and the team understand what’s going on around them and how to respond to each CUP situation. Give this a try. You will find that your new skaters will catch on quickly and your veterans will have a baseline to lead your team while on the floor. When you talk to your skaters at half time, you will all have a common goal to relate to. Good luck and keep the shiny side up!

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 43

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general anxiety disorder and roller derby C U LTA S K A R O , S TAT E C O L L E G E A R E A R O L L E R D E R B Y

I was ten years old when I first started getting panic attacks. For over three months, I would lie down in my bed at night, sit in the total silence with nothing but my thoughts and eventually get so worried or anxious over something, anything, that I would throw up. Fifteen years later and I’m still afraid to go to sleep without music or the TV on to distract me, just in case my mind starts to wander a little too much.

Anxiety and depression have always had prominent roles in my life. So when I found myself hundreds of miles away from my friends and family in a town where I had no connections and no outlet except for working, it was easy, almost comfortable even, to fall back into old patterns and routines I had worked very hard to shake. Despite the conditions, I had still managed to be a very happy, idealistic, and at times, a rather fearless, person. Moving away and being on my own with no time and a complicated work schedule launched me into such a rut I no longer felt like myself anymore.

I was in a staff meeting one day when a coworker casually mentioned her friend who played roller derby in town. I don’t fully know what had originally drawn me to the concept of roller derby. I had been athletic my whole life, but when I first heard of derby years ago I just felt a connection to it. I didn’t know the rules, or even some of the most basic aspects of game

44 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

play, and I couldn’t roller skate, so I never realistically thought I’d ever play.

But there I was, without energy or enthusiasm or any real sense of fun in my life, learning that there was a whole league in my town. I told her about my interest in the sport, and she gave me some contact information for an NSO in the league. She encouraged me to contact them, because they were looking for new skaters.

I had been athletic my whole life, but when I first heard of derby years ago I just felt a connection to it.

I didn't know the rules, or even some of the most basic aspects of game play, and I couldn't roller skate, so I never realistically thought I'd ever play.

A few weeks later I was sitting in my car in the parking lot of a roller rink with a bag full of incorrect protective gear I had picked up at a generic sporting goods store, ready to put skates on for the first time since I was eight in a room full of complete strangers. I had no idea what to expect, and when I don’t know

what to expect, I expect the worst. I sat there for a few minutes, playing with apps on my phone, trying to get the line “Turn around and go home” to stop repeating itself in my head. I was a 24year-old woman who often wouldn’t get take out if the restaurant didn’t have an online, phone-free way to order. I intentionally showed up late to public gatherings at familiar places to ensure I wouldn’t be the first one there and would have to sit alone. Yet here I was, check in hand to rent a pair of skates and attend a roller derby clinic without having ever seen a full game in my life.

I’m still not sure how I did it. I managed to not think about it, which was a feat in and of itself. I was in my early 20s the first time I realized that “Think happy thoughts” wasn’t an expression, it was a thing people could actually do. The fact that there were people in the world who could choose what they thought about blew my mind.

Somehow I knew I needed this enough to not dwell on the many, many ways I could spectacularly fail. I think I had also finally reached a point where I was so overwhelmed and so disconnected from everything that I didn’t care enough to worry anymore.

I don’t know how I got myself there but I know how I stayed. As I filled out my safety waivers I meekly told the league members who were gearing up that I didn’t actually know what I was doing, half expecting them to gently tell

Preflash Gordon

me that I should probably just go home and half expecting a half-hearted attempt at telling me I was probably better than I was giving myself credit for.

What I got instead were stories of their own awkward beginnings as recruits who didn’t know how to skate, the power line starter who initially failed her minimum tests four times and never thought she’d leave her fresh meat classes. Each time I fell, which was surprisingly not as frequent as I thought it would be, I was immediately praised for landing right, for getting up quickly.

At that time, all it might have taken to overwhelm me to the point where I didn’t want to come back again would have been a few rolled eyes or snappy comments from experienced skaters to convince me I was beyond hope and unwanted. The support of the league to new skaters can make such an incredible difference.

As a child I always thought my anxiety was the sort of the thing I would eventually grow out of. I have come to terms with the fact that I will not. I don’t

think anything will ever make this go away. But I have found ways to cope, and in some ways that’s even better.

When the simplest tasks seem overwhelming, accomplishing anything can feel successful. Accomplishing great things feels like a victory. And when everything you have to do seems frightening, it becomes easier to do things that actually are frightening. I didn’t think I could get out of bed a single day this week and I still went to work, did my job, kept my appointments, and ran my errands; I can do anything.

It’s been said so many times by so many skaters that it almost seems like a cliché, but derby saved something in me. Every day that has just felt like too much, where I’ve wanted to give up on my career just to be able to go home, derby has given me something to look forward to: a friend to meet for drinks, a project to make me feel accomplished, a committee to assist, a practice where I get to hit people who will still like me afterwards. I feel like myself again, and in the process have found a sport I feel

more passionate about than any other I’ve ever done. A sport that I’ll be able to continue playing, if my older league mates are any indication of, for decades to come. The experience of diving in head first into a brand-new activity has helped me reach a new level of understanding of who I am and what I am capable of.

Living with anxiety is like every practice you want to miss but you go to anyway. It’s every power jam you want to call off because you’re tired, but you push through until the time runs out and you get those extra points. It’s every lap of a 27 in 5 that you think will surely be the last you can make before you collapse, only to beat your best time. You feel uncomfortable and unprepared and lacking energy but you suck it up and get it done because it needs to be done.

Anxiety is the same way. Every time you want to give up, to give in, to hide from everything, and you push that fear aside and say no, I will not give up today; I will push through, and I will accomplish this!

It makes you feel invincible.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 45

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2nd generation derby player THUNDERBIRD, SOUTH SIMCOE REBEL ROLLERS

I was in my third week of our 10-week Fresh Meat bootcamp and my parents were up for a visit. My Dad, Gerry, was sitting on the couch, checking out my new quad skates. He’s sitting on the couch, spinning the wheels, listening to me go on and on about how awesome bootcamp is when he looks up at me and says: “I was a blocker, you know.”

My Dad is 72 years old and in pretty good shape. He’s a classic rock, meat-andpotatoes type of guy, and I’ve only ever seen him dance on skates. He was one of those jeans-wearing, hands-in-his-pockets; smooth rolling old time jam skaters. We roller skated together on family nights at Wheelies – every Wednesday night from the time I was 5 until about age 11. When Wheelies on Hartzel Road in St. Catharines, Ontario closed down, we’d make the trip up the QEW to the Roller Garden in Hamilton every odd Saturday night. I’d request ZZ Top, Led Zeppelin or Doobie Brothers for my Dad to break up the monotony of new wave and Michael Jackson tunes (it WAS the 80’s). When I got my rollerblades at age 13, my roller skating date nights with my Dad came to an abrupt end.

When I heard that roller derby bootcamp was starting not too far away from my town in Central Ontario, I jumped to sign up. I went to the meet and greet, spoke to the enthusiastic group of women of the South Simcoe Rebel Rollers, and decided to gear up and try roller derby at the age of 34. I called back home and told my Dad about it; he seemed pretty excited for me. He reminded me that when I was about 8 years old it was my dream to be a rollergirl. We used to watch it on TV together! He encouraged me to do it, with no mention about having played derby himself. Then a full month later, he floors me with how he was a roller derby player in the early 1960s.

He played on a banked track, his team practiced on Sunday mornings. He told me about his equipment: a helmet that might as well have been made out of cardboard and hard plastic pads that would never stay put. (Velcro hadn’t been invented yet –

46 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

can you imagine?) Gerry would tape his knee pads and elbow pads to his skin to keep them from sliding when he fell. He’d end up with bands of hair missing on his arms and legs. He still owns the skates he used to play in – a pair of worn-down, black Dominions. The rules were very different then; it was a lot faster and much rougher with just-about-anything-goes to get the other jammer to go down. My Dad was a 6-ft-tall blocker with broad shoulders and had the agility to move around the track quickly. He said he tried jamming a few times, but he didn’t like the attention.

Gerry lived (and still lives) in the Niagara region in Southwestern Ontario, Canada.

He bouted in St. Catharines, Niagara Falls, Buffalo, Toronto, Stoney Creek, Hamilton and other places nearby. He told me about some of the teams he played, the sportsmanship he encountered, and a little bit about the after parties he won. He remarked how he hated playing Toronto guys because “... They punched you in the face and elbowed you in the back of the head. They played real dirty. I came outta there with a bloody nose more than once.” Gerry’s favorite place to play was Hamilton because, as he put it, “the guys had sandwiches and pop for you afterwards.”

He played from 1960 to 1962 and left the sport because getting injured was interfering with his ability to work. He worked in construction and needed to have the full use of his arms and legs to lift and move steel and equipment. Sore muscles aside, it was the injuries to his head, back and knees that were taking a toll on his paycheck. And overall, it just became a scene he didn’t want to be a part of. However, his love of roller skating remained. He passed that love on to me at an early age, and it became the thing I loved doing with my dad more than anything else. It was our activity – our time together.

He’s adored showing my son that same fun on wheels.

My first bout was in April 2012 in Barrie, Ontario. My parents, husband and son came out to watch me play. It was a rush to hear my then 4-year-old screaming my name and my

A.J. Epstein

father whistling when I was on the track. I was determined to block that jammer, to make a couple good hits, to make a difference on every shift. Truth be told, it was mostly a blur of falling and missed opportunities, but I loved every second of it.

Just before the start of the final jam, I looked up to where my family was sitting: my Dad wasn’t in his spot. I figured he’d gone out to stretch his legs or grab a coffee and I felt a little disheartened that he was going to miss the last moments of the bout. We skated the last jam, high-fived our opponents and our new fans, and headed towards the change room. I heard a whistle and looked over and to find my Dad was standing

trackside with the biggest grin on his face – and wait, was he giggling?

“Wow, man, that was so great! You did so great! Holy shit that was so awesome! You did so great, when’s your next game?” He was giggling, all smiles and beaming with pride.

You know, I’ve graduated high school with honors, completed my studies in university, got married to a great guy and have a son – my father’s only grandchild. But I don’t think my father has ever been prouder of me than he was on that day when he saw me kicking ass on eight wheels, carrying on his legacy.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 47

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feature

life after derby J AY P E G G , K A N S A S C I T Y R O L L E R WA R R I O R S

With modern roller derby moving into its second decade and a new generation of skaters joining this ever more popular sport, fiveonfive decided to go retro and spoke to four skaters who were plying their trade when fiveonfive first hit the shelves – Fall 2008 to be exact – but have since, like so many of the pioneer skaters, hung up their skates. Gone maybe, but definitely not forgotten.

Joe Rollerfan

Kansas City Roller Warriors Jammer 2004-2011

I had retired at the end of 2008, only to return after one season off. My ability to prioritize skating time had waned, and when I returned to roller derby in 2010, I participated as an “all-star only”, meaning that I wasn’t a member of an intra-league team. I skated as an inter-league skater only on the KCRW all-star team for two years. At that point, I had been skating for seven years. I had never sustained a major injury, but my body was getting tired and ready for more forgiving forms of exercise. It was a natural close to my roller derby career.

I treasure and value all the time that I have now. I sleep as much as I should sleep (usually). I take more time with my work.

I spend quality time with my myself and my fiance. It’s really wonderful. I still attend Kansas City games, and my roommates are former and current skaters (Hayley Vomit and Princess Slayya). I’m still around but I don’t have any official involvement.

In the derby world, I had a somewhat high-profile derby career as a jammer in the beginnings of the flat-track derby resurgence in the mid-to-late-2000’s. I think that the legend of Snot-Rocket kind of became bigger than me (Kelley Young), and so I adopted my real name as my skater name when I returned in 2010. I was one of the early jammers that received some notable attention, and some would say “held my own” throughout my career – I did go out with a bang, winning tournament MVP at the WFTDA Championship the year I retired – but there have been tons of incredible skaters across the world, ready to break records and accomplish impressive feats on a pair of skates. It’s cool that I was a part of that. I had a lot of fun playing roller derby, and I met some amazing women and friends. I’m grateful to my team for their support, and for just being awesome girls. For me, it was mostly about fun and the girls who were my teammates.

50 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

I must say that I don’t miss roller derby. I’m the type of person that loves so many other things and I occupy my time very happily. I do, of course, have a warm spot in my heart for the sport. I still go roller skating with my family from time to time, but I’m 100% retired from derby.

Cadillac Rose City Rollers Blocker 2006-2012

I tore the cartilage in my left ankle in 2011 but was able to finish the travel team season when the Wheels of Justice went to Nationals. Then I wanted to play one more season so went home team only. My home team, The Break Neck Betties, won the championship that year. After that I needed surgery, and it is a year to a year and half recovery. So now, it’s time for baby makin’!

Last season, I coached for the Betties, and the Rainbow Bites (one of the Rosebuds intra-league teams who are amazing) so that took up a lot of time. I’m currently debating coaching the Betties next season. I’m not coaching the Bites but I may want to go back to them too! I can’t stay away!

I miss playing a lot. I have played sports all my life and was a collegiate softball player and a college softball coach, but there is no game like derby. And of course, I think about strapping on my skates again. All the time. But derby or not you will always see me skating around! I met some of my best friends, and so many other awesome people. I mean, I was in a comic book and a documentary (Brutal Beauty), had an undefeated season with the Betties, captained the travel team for two years and we went to Nationals in 2011, and travelled to London to coach. I’m just so fortunate; roller derby was in a really good place and was so much fun!

Jules Doyle

Snot Rocket

Beyonslay

Steel City Roller Derby Blocker 2006-2011

Gotham Girls Roller Derby Blocker 2006-2010, Manager of Bronx Gridlock 2010-2011

Jay Pegg

I had a persistent shoulder injury and played with a partially torn rotator cuff with a brace for the 2011 season. During a summer practice, someone took my legs out from under me and I couldn’t brace my fall with my knees. I ended up catching my fall with my bad arm and shoulder in a really painful, awful position and that pretty much put the nails in the coffin. I went on medical leave after that and the pain just never went away. It hurt so bad I never moved it which caused frozen shoulder syndrome. I had surgery on it in November 2011 and I knew I was probably never going to be able to come back.

In the extra time that I have had, I’ve been keeping busy by working on my design lines. I started my first business, Nina Ramone Knitwear (ninaramone.etsy.com ) in 2009 while recuperating from an A/C separation on my left shoulder. Then that evolved into a jewelry design line called, My Salvation Jewelry Design (mysalvation.etsy.com). When I left derby, I decided to focus on these design businesses for a year then I would figure it out from there. Thankfully, it’s been quite successful! I’ve always offered a special discount to the derby community.

I’m unable to be involved with derby in any capacity because it tears me up inside to be around as a spectator. Just thinking about how much it meant to me causes a sob session (literally, I’m crying while answering this question). It’s like breaking up with a boyfriend I’m still in love with, that’s just how it feels. It’s not something I want to do, I just have to because I can’t do it anymore. I would totally go back if I was physically able to.

Obviously, derby was extremely fulfilling for me. It was my life for a long time. I made lifelong friends. One of the things I wish I could have done was skate at Nationals (back when it was still Nationals). In addition to that, I was plagued with injuries throughout my career so, sometimes I feel like I was never able to reach my fullest potential. Though I worked twice as hard every time I came back from an injury and consistently made the A team rebound after rebound, I still wonder about the “what ifs”.

As much as I’d love to return, I know I won’t be able to. Aside from my health problems, it was a full-time commitment for almost six years of my life and now I enjoy being able to see my husband and my family. I’m honestly unsure how I was able to survive those years without them in my everyday life like they are today!

I have two daughters, one is three and a half years old and the other is twelve months old. I work full time as an administrator at a law school. I am back to being very involved with U.S. Figure Skating (usfs.org) after putting it on the back burner during my derby days (I was a nationally competitive figure skater and am qualified to select the U.S. World and Olympic teams). Currently, I am the chair of the U.S. Figure Skating Ethics Committee and an alternate to judge nationals this year - which is especially exciting because it’s an Olympic year. Also I recently started Your Budget Builder, LLC (yourbudgetbuilder.com) and assist people with their finances as a personal budget coach.

I am currently on GGRD’s Board of Directors and am still very close with my derby wife, Brigitte Barhot (who is also retired from GGRD). I do my best to keep in touch with the friends I made through derby and Facebook helps with that. For a while there was a group of us who organized monthly dinner parties we called LARD (Life After Roller Derby).

My roller derby career was a defining part of my life. It helped me gain a sense of what it was to be part of a team, a league, and a woman-centered movement. Looking back, it was an intense blur. I was and still am stunned by all of the feedback my skating received. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect a hobby I started because I had too much free time while my wife was working and going to grad school would lead to me being a character in a video game and having the “slay ride” receive over 100,000 views on YouTube.

I do miss roller derby, but I’m not sure if the sport I participated in still exists in the form that I most enjoyed. I can guarantee that skating will always be in my life in one form or another. But it is possible that one day I will be a derby girl again.

As derby continues to mature, future generations of skaters will take the sport to new and unexplored heights, thanks to the solid framework put in place by the derby pioneers. So the next time you’re at an afterparty, raise a glass for all those who have hung up their skates and helped make roller derby be the great sport that it is. You never know, you may even be skating against them one day.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 51

Brendan McMullen

Dresta Kill

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secrets of an overachieving derby girl C AT OW TA H E L L , R O U G H N E C K R O L L E R D E R B Y

As an author, candy maker, wildlife gardener and derby skater with a full-time “real job,” here’s a question I frequently get: how do you do it all? The short answer is self-discipline. Snore. I know, boring as hell and not at all sexy or easy. If it were easy, everyone would do it. But you’re not everyone, you’re a derby girl and capable of anything.

However much of a drag it is, it is more than that. It is excellent character development, and the sense of accomplishment you will earn is profoundly gratifying. Here’s a typical day: 5 am, my alarm goes off. 5:30 am, I actually get up. 5:45-6 hip hits on my heavy bag, 6-7 workout in home gym, 7:30-12:00 work, 12:00-1:00 eat and write, 1:00-5:00 work, 6:00-9:00 pm, errands, dinner, make candy, weed and water garden or go to derby practice, whichever night it is. Then to bed and up to do it all over again the next day.

I do not have two major complications that many derby girls have: University or kids. But those were choices you made and you can still work with those limitations.

If it’s University, try to schedule your classes around derby practices, bouts and events, and if that’s not possible, school comes first. You may just have to miss an occasional derby practice, bout and/or event.

If it’s children, discipline them well and bring them to the rink with you. Or leave them with your spouse, partner, in-laws, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, chosen family or friends. It isn’t inconveniencing anyone for that little amount of time per week and you can rotate sitters and offer to reciprocate. Most people will be thrilled to know a derby girl and will want to support you. Also, I’m sure you’ve raised your kids to be utter charmers and everybody in your circle is constantly clamoring for time with them. It’s good for you to let go a little; it’s good for family (blood or chosen) to invest in

children and it’s good for children to be socialized and to have a variety of experiences. Unlike a derby bout, it’s win/win/win.

If your obstacle is both college and kids, then may the derby goddess bless you.

OK, so you’ve evaluated your life and you’re ready to get more out of every day. How do you begin? Focus. Become extremely focused on your goals, desires and intentions. Realize that selfdiscipline is a muscle that gets stronger with use. Understand that we each have the same twenty-four hours and it’s up to you what you have to show for it at the end of the day. Pretend there’s a fire-what would you save? Pretend you’re dying. What do you regret or want most or with what do you wish to have a second chance? Those are the answers to what matters most in your life. So now, eliminate everything extraneous from your life that isn’t absolutely required (peeing, death, job) or that doesn’t serve to further your goals (skating, sleep). When listening to that shitbag friend complain for the millionth time, do a cost/benefit analysis: what is this costing you v. what are the benefits? This will take some difficult self-examination because if there’s no benefit yet you keep engaging in whatever it is, then you are getting something out of it that you won’t admit to yourself (e.g. you enjoy feeling superior, you need to feel needed, you’re addicted to drama, you like being rescued, you have to be a martyr, you can’t function unless you’re a powerless victim, you love complaining) and all that is ok if you’re truthful with yourself, aware and clear on it and choose to keep that unchanged. Your life, your choice. So once you have all that sorted out and your goals set and the room in your life to implement them, then make every minute serve you. For instance, I skate seven miles to work as often as I can. This helps my strength, endurance, balance and skills, as well as saving the environment a little and getting me to

OK, so you’ve evaluated your life and you’re ready to get more out of every day.

How do you begin? Focus.

Become extremely focused on your goals, desires and intentions. Realize that self-discipline is a muscle that gets stronger with use.

52 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

Jules Doyle

work simultaneously. I garden for my own pleasure but I have created a certified and organic wildlife habitat so my garden also feeds and shelters many species. I have to eat lunch every day, but I write while I’m doing it. I despise socializing in any form but if it serves me for networking or PR, I suck it up and I’m there.

And you don’t have to start big; my garden started with one herb in a pot. My candy company started with one Christmas batch of peanut brittle for my father. My writing started with one page a day. My skating started with one, slow, wobbly trip around the block.

The point is to move toward something and to eliminate all non-productive distractions that stop you. A writing teacher even went so far as to advise students to stop gardening and decorating our homes for the holidays because those things are giant energy and attention drains from our manuscripts.

Once you get into the habit of self-discipline and prioritized

goals, the inertia of that will carry and support you. It’s easier to clean a clean house, which means it’s worth it to maintain a clean, orderly home by smaller daily efforts than it is to see-saw from the extremes of dirty and disorganized to clean and organized after lots of dread, procrastination and Herculean effort.

Wouldn’t it be nicer to spend fifteen to twenty minutes a day keeping things clean consistently than wasting an entire weekend playing scullery maid, charwoman catch-up? The same is true of achieving goals. Take baby steps and take them now. Everyone is a beginner in the beginning.

Who am I to tell you all this? A very serious-minded borderline robot who walks this walk. It isn’t easy and maybe you’re not ready for it. That’s ok too. Just be aware that that is the case. This way of life is difficult but it works. So if you want the immense inner and eventually outer rewards, start examining your life. But if anything stops you, let it.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 53

international

London Rockin’ Roller bootcamp FREYJA “ROLLER” GILLARD, LONDON ROCKIN’ ROLLERS P H OTO S B Y J A S O N R U F F E L L

Proximity and a large dense population have helped the UK really

competition in derby worldwide,” she exclaims, “I am into it.”

hone in on the community spirit of roller derby, and bootcamps are

Scald Eagle is not alone here, with White Flight also highlighting

a thriving aspect of this. With easy transport links and many major

the “collective ‘ooooooooh’ moment” and Untamed Shrew explaining

cities within less than three hours’ drive from each other, it is really

that “being part of someone’s transformative experience is amazing.

a country designed to help share skills and knowledge (and

I take home as much from others as they take from me”. She

sometimes even team members) and the derby community have

believes in focusing “...on key skills and dynamic coaching, (and with

pounced upon that. Bootcamps are regular and welcome events on

the evolution of derby) the mastery of each skater’s essential skills

the derby scene. This has extended to the rest of Europe, with

has become even more important.” Her advice? “Think about your

bootcamps popping up throughout the continent and attendees often

strengths and weaknesses and train accordingly.”

being an international bunch.

Of course, we are also now seeing a steep rise in people travelling just a bit farther to try something different, learn from playing new teams, and in particular, checking out the ‘big leagues’. More and more UK, European (and beyond) teams are coming across the pond, undertaking mini-tours, taking part in tournaments and generally finding out what American derby life is all about. The interest and desire is undeniable. You only have to look at the Invitational List for the upcoming Gold Coast Roller Grrls 2014 tournament to see the expansion of Europe-side teams in what was once a 100% American-derby world.

The aim of the London Rockin’ Roller two day bootcamp, then, should have kept Untamed Shrew very happy. The organizers decided that essential skills should always be at the core of the event; so they looked directly at what skills would be most useful in this ever-developing derby world. This ensured the weekend offered a complete package of skills, on- and off-skates.

As a team LRR have always prided themselves on keeping the true DIY for every aspect of roller derby. And so here, skill levels ranged from just passed minimum skills to very advanced, with groups including people who had been skating for just a few months So, it was no surprise then that when London’s Rockin’ Rollers

all the way up to skaters who have played for Team England. Each

invited Rose City stars, White Flight, Scald Eagle and Untamed Shrew

skill group was named after one of the Seven Deadly Sins, which

to host a bootcamp in the UK, tickets sold out in less than

alongside being a nice throwback to LRR’s historical bout program,

three minutes.

ensured that everyone was proud of their level and group, rather than

Luckily, the interest wasn’t only one way, with the Oregon-based

worried about being classed as ‘beginner’ over ‘advanced’. A mix of

coaches not just flying over to catch up with the Queen and to do

skill levels was important to the participants too, with Drea Feelgood

a bit of sight-seeing. For Scald Eagle, the joy in these events is

of Plymouth City Rollergirls explaining it was a big benefit of the

“helping skaters have their own ‘aha!’ moments. Nailing skills

bootcamp, “There was a group of us from Plymouth and we were

builds confidence and confidence matched with those skills raises

all able to individually bring something back to our team at different

competition.” When it comes to the rest of the world raising its game,

levels. Back home, rookies to experienced skaters all gained from

she is clearly on board. “Anything I can do to help raise the level of

what we experienced.”

54 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

The two-day bootcamp itself was a mix of on- and off-skates,

and Plymouth City Rollers and Team Ireland Manager AbNorman who

skills, tactics, Q&A and good ol’ fashion exercise. Scald Eagle and

earned himself a very special derby memory. “As a team, we decided

Untamed Shrew alongside LRR All Stars, such as Betty Swollox, Von

just to work on defense and leave the jammers completely to

Bitch and Jack Attack, took the bootcampers through their paces on

themselves,” he explains, “So when I found myself putting my toe

track, discussing skating techniques, communication, blocking and

stop down on the line, jammer panty on, I was nervous but fine. Until

hitting. There were also bout footage viewings, stalls, a photo booth

I looked up and there in front of me was Scald Eagle, eyeing me up,

and ‘team building through core-building’ exercises.

ready to pounce. Then the whistle went. Juking never felt so pointless!”

Despite the powerhouse-of-derby blocking him, his head stayed clear and he was able to concentrate on putting the weekend’s theory into practice, “I was there, attempting to get around her, but also able to think about what I needed to do, what I could do and what I should be doing. It was completely worth it and I came off the track with a huge sense of achievement. Not just a bootcamp highlight, but a derby highlight for sure. A great way to finish a brilliant weekend.

LRR were incredible hosts and were cool, calm and in control throughout. The whole bootcamp was a blast.”

Feelgood seconded his comments, “The weekend was inspiring, motivating, excellently organized, and hard work. I even executed my

On Sunday, White Flight and LRR bench coach General IZD

first can opener and gained my first ever lead jammer. I learned so

Awesomeness took a more relaxed approach, discussing tactics, team

much and came back with an exhausted smile on my face.” A quick

organization, and coaching outside in the warm English summer sun.

scan of the Facebook event shows they aren’t alone here. Words

White Flight explains, “I try to coach in a holistic way. What happens

such as ‘epic’, ‘amazing’, ‘inspiring’, and ‘sweaty’ come up again

off track affects what happens on the track, even if only on the

and again and that’s not just from the attendees. Scald Eagle posted

subconscious level. So I try to build trust and show compassion for

to let the troops know that the coaches were just as inspired by them

anything and everything skaters are dealing with. I like this welcoming

as vice versa.

and open approach to learning such a complex sport.”

And it wasn’t all theory. On Saturday, LRR took on Copenhagen’s

Perhaps the most important part of these bootcamps and what they can offer was summed up by AcuPunch’er’s experience. In her

Rollin’ Heartbreakers (many of whom were attending the bootcamp

words, she left with, “So much to take away and work on. It feels

themselves) in a tense but fun game, during which keen eyes would

great.” Being able to identify her strengths and weaknesses and

notice some familiar hits and power-jam techniques that

focus on training for them? Scald Eagle would be proud.

bootcampers had been trialling earlier that day. One attendee commented, “It’s great to see how what we’re learning can

With an undoubted appetite for American-style teaching in European-style bootcamps and teams outside America only getting

immediately be put into practice. I was just skating with them

better and better, this is an exciting time for roller derby. Bootcamps

hours ago and look at them now!” It was a tight-run match with

like this one open up a sea of possibilities for intercontinental

great work from both sides, and in the end the Danes took it

relations, continuing our path of growing the community to be

120-145 over the visiting team.

a truly international one and, surely, paving the way for some

On Sunday, it was everyone’s turn with a mass scrimmage of teams made up from each group level, with a few coaches thrown

very exciting future World Cups. Watch out, America, the rest of the world is coming.

in now and again to keep everyone on their toes.

This was the highlight of the weekend for many, including Royal Windsor Rollergirl’s AcuPunch’er who described it as an “awesomeness overload”

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 55

art and media

Vagine Regime documented:

‘Tour Diary’ of a queer film in the making DA N G E R ( I S M Y M I D D L E N A M E ) , A N G E L C I T Y D E R B Y G I R L S

If you were involved in roller derby, its community or love someone around it in some capacity, then last November there is a pretty good chance you heard something about the Vagine Regime Documentary.

I arrived in Los Angeles and jumped in on the project at a time when it was well and truly destined to happen – the kickstarter crowdfunding project was in full swing, and some of the most amazing fundraising events were happening – queer hairdressing, silent auctions of some generously donated prizes, and the Weeniepalooza scrimmage and frank-eating contest were all funnelling into making queer roller derby dreams come true.

But it really was an incredibly moving story that came through to the Vagine Regime from the mother of a ten-year-old girl in small-town Canada that hit us all in the heart. She narrated the trials of a girl who’d had some serious trials in claiming her gender identity even by that age, who’d been cut off from mainstream sports, and who had found her heroes in roller derby.

“I’m going to play that game, mom,” she’d said. And, we as a community were instantly affected and galvanized into action – mere hours had gone by from the publishing of her story online when the tears of empathy had been converted rapidly into skates, gear, and support.

And finally the end date for fundraising hit, and had surpassed all goals, and come together to make it possible.

This documentary was going to be made, and all of the support from around the globe was with it – with donors from Australia and Europe almost rivalling the efforts of those closer to home. All that remained was to gather resources, finish up pre-production, and start production! production day one, San Francisco: First shoot. We start with our first cast member, the formidable Demanda Riot, and it’s early. 6:15am wheels up, and Demanda appears skating towards us out of an early morning mist. This documentary is epic already, and we’re only just beginning. She talks us through the life of a travelling derby coach, the life of a committed B.A.D. girl, and treats us to a full face of her legendary make-up. This film is already well set on its way!

56 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

production day two: A relocation to Sacramento, stomping ground of NSO extraordinaire Mister Sister. Infatuated with his derby name, he talks us through how it came to be. And then it gets to real talk time very quickly, as he opens up and explains how he met roller derby, donned skates, committed to his current life, and moved into NSOing. The whole crew struggles to not let the tears they’ve been moved to interrupt the filming, because we need you to see this, to be a part of it.

Later, I download and watch sections of footage, and marvel at the light, the angles, the sheer visual beauty that intensifies that moment and the others that came before even further.

Throughout the coming days, I never fail to have that same feeling again and again, it’s somehow always unexpected, and brings home repeatedly how important this film is, what it might do in the world. jam out with your clam out: This trip varies between the cold crisp air outside and the sheer warmth of community as the bout and burlesque give queer performance and passion form in front of the camera and behind it.

Two hours in the snow to get the right time-lapse image of the city seem like a grueling but appropriate punctuation to all that heat. shooting San Diego: Driving down to San Diego to stay in the home of Summer Crush and Tough Soles, delightful kids, puppy and kitten. Director, Erica Tremblay (former captain of Angel City Derby Girls’ Hollywood Scarlets, Go-Go Gidget) has possibly her favourite moment of the documentary as a curious boy’s enquiries about her film-making role leads him to ask, “Can boys be directors, too?”

Summer’s interview is in the fading light of day, filtering through a window clad with a huge rainbow flag. And she shares her joy, fears, sorrow and love at committing to derby, to Toughie, and to this film. We wonder if we’re likely to get through a shoot without tears. And we manage to capture some beautiful genuinely joyful moments among the family as they throw themselves wholeheartedly into playtime, rolling down hills and

flying kites, spontaneously embracing.

“Boom!” and “Cut” become new household phrases.

By this time, we not only know that this film is working, we realize it’s also going to be beautifully cinematic, thanks to the hard work of Director of Photography, Bodie Orman. And we also have an inkling that it’s got the capacity to change worlds. Our next trip only serves to confirm it.

Austin, Texas: Derby legend Bloody Mary takes the time to sit down with us, and by the time she’s taken a seat, the sheer weight of her knowledge of the sport and its lived history comes at me. She starts to speak, and by the end of the shoot we’re swapping jokes, thinking about what it might have been like to gift roller derby to our younger self, and she’s telling us about her new commitment to the fire service. the next day: It’s the Fourth of July, and my first in this country, and I quickly discover that spending it with Texas Rollergirls at a pool may be the best damn way I could think of experiencing that holiday.

As food is cooked, water splashed, the sun bathes us and then nightfall embraces us, the punctuation of the circle of sparklers we pass mirrors the popping fireworks in the sky, and every face is lit with joy. A quick rendition of the national anthem is wonderfully heartfelt, and punctuated with giggles as both dogs try to join in the harmony. and after: Fifi Nomenon leads us through her life with roller derby, and we spend more time with her and her lady love, SweetHurt. The moments they spend together are tender and affectionate, and the whole crew leans into their love, feels warmed by their enthusiasm for making and tracking down sustenance for us, and one another.

We sit off-side while she logs in and chats online to the very little girl who first wrote to the Vagine Regime, whose eye is the only thing we can see for many minutes as her hands fly repeatedly to her face overwhelmed with enthusiasm as she speaks to her own personal hero for the first time. Quickly it becomes obvious that they need to meet in person, and Fifi

commits to helping make her junior derby camp happen. A sense of renewed purpose fills the room, we’re ready to do even more with this project, and ready to launch into the next phase of shooting... RollerCon. RollerCon: A blur. A dancing, talking, skating and completely badass collection of the derby community takes over the Riviera in Vegas.

And our hotel rooms become Vagine Regime Central. We put a call out for people to talk to us on camera, and are honored and overwhelmed with the honesty and braveness of the queer community that takes their heart in their hands and opens their lives to us.

The bout itself is more vivid, more hard-fought and more emotionally charged than any made-for-film script could have managed. The vagina-suited queerleaders encircle a triumphant Team Vagine as they take home the game in the final jam. It’s an image I’ll be able to bring up in my minds eye for many weeks after, filled with grey and orange and pinks of the vaginas, and many a garishly brilliant rainbow.

On the final day, I almost miss him. He’s leaning against the wall next to the hotel room door, playing with his phone, thoughtful and seemingly disinterested in our to-and-froing. Then he transfers his attention, and quickly I discover I’m talking to the first transman to join a MRDA league. Another interview is in progress, and we hang out, waiting, talking, and he’s so reserved at first that I think you might not get to hear his story. But then we laugh together, tell jokes, I hear a story about an awesome duo move he and a teammate have worked out that uses his comparatively small size to barrel into the opposition, and I have a really wonderful moment when all at once I know this is a story we will get to include for you.

The solo drive home with the gear is snail-paced and might have been excruciating, were it not for that riotous compilation of lived passion and affection that collages across my minds eye from every shoot we’ve had yet. We’re making a movie! It’s going to be colorful, empassioned, sad, joyful and filled with triumph and celebration of roller derby and the queer community laced through it, and the world might just be a little different, a little better, for it being. Look out for it come 2014! Check in on vagineregime.com for more details.

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 57

art and media

Roller Derby on Film

photographs from the flat track

Roller Derby on Film, Photographs from the Flat Track is a collection of images documenting the re-emergence of roller derby in the United Kingdom, Europe and beyond.

Spanning the years 2010 to 2013, it includes photographs from the first ever Roller Derby World Cup and the first WFTDA sanctioned tournament in Europe.

This collection has been put together to showcase the images how they should be seen, in print, in glorious color giving the viewer a tactile experience away from the computer screen. It is available, print on demand, in either a soft-back or hard-back edition. roller-derby-on-film.co.uk 58 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

Hard cover available at blur.by/18SQBRi

Soft cover available at blur.by/15pSezV fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 59

remembering those we have lost Sredy #284

Disorderlee Conduct #25 Kimpletely Insane #611

Mudshine #1806

aka Linda Stevens 1974-2013 Wollongong Illawarra Roller Derby

aka Leigh Boyce 1984-2013 Blue Ridge Rollergirls

aka Kim Morgan 1993-2013 Circle City Derby Girls

aka Kc Liljenquist 1989-2013 Gold Coast Derby Grrls

MMM BOP YA #14

Bitty Betty Brawler #156

Red Rock Crusher #72

Phoenix Inferno #429

aka Salina Ritchie 1984-2013 Grand Junction Roller Girls

aka Sonia Nazorewich 1988-2013 Terminal City Rollergirls

aka Sheri-Lynn McEwan 1972-2013 Greater Sudbury Roller Derby

aka Theresa Burke 1989-2013 Berkshire Band-Itz

Inspek’ter Chicken Mayhem

Stitch Rip-Her #74

Percy Q Tion

aka Anita Shade 1968-2013 Bleeding Heartland Roller Girls

aka Erin Louise Usciski 1974-2013 Central Alberta Roller Derby Association

aka David McConnaughey 1969-2013 NEO Roller Derby

you will never be forgotten!

Thank you to Oscar the Roach for creating “the final jam” yahoo group – sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/THE_FINAL_JAM If we’ve missed anyone, please let us know.

60 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com

WE’LL GIVE YOU TWO WORDS AND YOU PUT ANOTHER WORD IN BETWEEN THAT MAKES SENSE WITH BOTH THE WORD BEFORE AND AFTER EX. WATER _____________ OPENER = BOTTLE (WATER BOTTLE / BOTTLE OPENER)

1. toe___________________ sign

15. knee _________________ lock

2. helmet _______________ raid

16. time _________________ house

3. suzy__________________ honeys

17. after _________________ hat

4. flat___________________ jacket

18. team _________________ mark

5. lead __________________ panty

19. non-skating ____________ review

6. penalty________________ cutter

20. jalepeno ______________ class

7. bearing _______________ pass

21. pirate ________________ shorts

8. score _________________ walk

22. scald_________________ eye

9. teflon _________________ matrix

23. freight ________________ wreck

10. fishnet________________ stuffer

24. traffic ________________ timer

11. falling ________________ pass

25. arm__________________ width

12. boot _________________ fire

26. snow_________________ city

13. mouth ________________ dog

27. dolly _________________ science

14. tennis ________________ pad

28. helmet _______________ charge

answers: 1. stop 2. panty 3. hotrod 4. track 5. jammer 6. box 7. press 8. board 9. donna 10. stocking 11. star 12. camp 13. guard 14. elbow 15. pad 16. out 17. party 18. bench 19. official 20. business 21. booty 22. eagle 23. train 24. jam 25. band 26. angel 27. rocket 28. cover

fiveonfivemag.com | Winter 2013 | 61

64 | Winter 2013 | fiveonfivemag.com 1. Sign in center is missing. 2. Helmet on left is missing.

3. Helmet at top left is now blue. 4. Logo is missing from Luigino bag.

5. Helmet on bottom left is missing name. 6. Gatorade in open suitcase is now yellow.

7. Water bottle missing from right.

Jules Doyle

THERE ARE SEVEN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE PHOTOS – FIND ‘EM!