fiveonfive | issue 5 | Fall 2009

THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK DERBY ASSOCIATION (WFTDA) ISSUE 5, FALL 2009

fiveonfivemag.com

NEVER ROLL ALONE

WFTDA now sports 76 member leagues across the U.S. and Canada, which makes for stronger teams, better play and, of course, fiercer competition.

On September 11, 2009, WFTDA kicks off its third tournament season. Forty teams will compete in regional competitions, with just 12 continuing on to Nationals. Check out wftda.com for tournament dates and locations!

WFTDA. Real. Strong. Athletic. Revolutionary.

www.wftda.com Photo courtesy of Scarlet Devil

fiveonfive contents 28-31

ask dahmernatrix and she who cannot be named!

WFTDA

6-9

annual conference: league representatives met in May to discuss all the goings-on in the WFTDA world – find out what went on.

business code of conduct risk management: safety gear off the track

10-15 health and fitness coming back from a break low back pain and derby getsome training to avoid injury

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

4-5 advice

WFTDA hires two employees: say hello to Bloody Mary, executive director and Toss'er Assout, insurance director.

38-39 RollerCon

16-23 games and coaching

catch up on 2009’s edition of the world’s largest party on eight wheels, the always amazing RollerCon in Las Vegas.

2009 regionals preview preparing mind and body for tournament action

breaking in new skates and choosing them in the first place how to keep your bearings

Brian J. Macke

24-27 gear

32 JRDA

42-43

34-37 rookie

Ginger Snap from Gotham reveals her tricks of the trade that keeps her and her teammates on top.

WFTDA minimum skills requirements developing a mentor program for your league anyone can play derby

44-45 international derby 46-49 have derby, will travel 50-54 art and media 55 classifieds 60 horoscopes

Brendan McMullen

fort wayne derby brats’ first bout

What does it take to be a derby champion?

editor anne shank rocky mountain rollergirls art director assaultin’ pepa rocky mountain rollergirls contributing writers dahmernatrix duke city derby she who cannot be named rocky mountain rollergirls taylor trash ft. wayne derby girls subpoena envy rockford rage

from the editor Welcome to our fall issue of fiveonfive magazine, the official magazine of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA)!

We survived our first year and are beginning year two of our quarterly publication

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with more contributors, advertisers and subscribers than ever before – the

dr. j sioux falls roller dollz

support and suggestions of the derby community have been wonderful and

carmen getsome rat city rollergirls

continue to push the magazine forward and inspire our contributors with fresh

catholic cruel girl rocky mountain rollergirls

topics and new ideas.

justice feelgood marshall charm city roller girls

fiveonfive has far exceeded my own expectations, and I am both proud of the

malice with chains windy city rollers

publication and constantly impressed and inspired by all those that have worked

coach pauly phoenix, arizona ivanna s. pankin’ san diego derby dolls

on this magazine to get it where it is now. As it is so frequently with roller derby, roles shift as life beyond the track changes, and I will be stepping down as editor of fiveonfive. I am excited to announce that Rocky Mountain’s own She Who

8-ball minnesota rollergirls

Cannot Be Named will be taking my place, however – She Who is one of

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the hardest workers and most knowledgeable players I have known both on

bloody mary texas rollergirls

and off the track and I am confident that she will serve the magazine well.

toss’er assout salt city derby girls minx ft. wayne derby girls

Assaultin’ Pepa – the true brains behind all things fiveonfive – and She Who are two of the most incredible people behind the scenes in flat track roller derby, and when these two are paired up they can accomplish pretty much anything.

sleezecake rockford rage nerd rage slaughter county roller vixens

While I am sad to step down from this position, I am positive that fiveonfive will continue to become better than ever with each passing issue. I hope to meet up

ginger snap gotham girls roller derby

with many of you on the track, in the stands and wherever else derby news

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and history are being made.

hurt reynolds derby news network agent automatic detroit derby girls luscious smacksome rocky mountain rollergirls cover photo kerry mcclain kerrymcclain.com fiveonfive magazine info@fiveonfivemag.com myspace.com/fiveonfivemag fiveonfivemag.com

Your thoughts, questions, concerns, love letters, and hate mail are always welcome at editor@fiveonfivemag.com.

Anne Shank #13 Rocky Mountain Rollergirls Denver, CO editor@fiveonfivemag.com

contributors

Many thanks to our contributors who come from all over the roller derby community and share their knowledge based on their countless hours of dedication to this sport!

Check out additional contributors at fiveonfivemag.com.

Dr. J

Bane-Ana

Malice with Chains has been a pivot/blocker/jammer for the Windy City Rollers since 2006.

She discovered the league when she saw skaters promoting at an art show. She was too shy to talk to them so she snuck a flier off the bar.

She immediately bought 20 tickets and forced her friends to join her at the WCR League Championship in 2005. She stalked the league at craft shows and other appearances.

Interest in becoming a skater was heightened when league founder Juanna Rumbel said, “This probably isn’t for you.”

Judith R. Peterson, MD is board certified in physical medicine and rehabilitation. She treats numerous athletes and is the team physician for the Sioux Falls Roller Dollz. She is experienced in the treatment of a wide variety of nerve and muscle pain syndromes and has lectured nationally and internationally on musculoskeletal topics and injury rehabilitation.

Bane-ana loves Charm City Roller Girls and hugs; he will dispense the latter for free to anyone who asks, whether they are kosher or not (ask Fleur Tatious from Mad Rollin’ Dolls – she’ll tell ya). As for ever dispensing with Charm City, well, all the burritos in the world couldn’t get him to do that.

nealhumphris.co.uk

Malice with Chains

Justice Feelgood Marshall

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

Carmen Getsome

Lacey Evans (Carmen Getsome) has a Bachelors of Science in Exercise Science from Eastern Washington University and has spent over five years working in the fitness industry.

While working in the fitness business she has helped train and rehabilitate athletes of all ages, backgrounds and athletic abilities. She is the owner of Getsome Athletics and the creator of Getsome Athletics Off Skates Workout DVD.

Justice Feelgood Marshall began his derby career in the summer of 2005 with Baltimore’s Charm City Roller Girls as a referee, and since then has dedicated much of (some would say too much of) his life to following derby wherever it leads him. He’s participated as a referee in over 80 bouts around the nation, including all of the 2007 WFTDA tournaments; was head referee of RollerCon 2007; has helped train leagues from Edmonton, Canada to Lubbock, Texas; and founded one of the first male flat track derby teams, the Harm City Homicide in Baltimore.

In addition to his many duties on the track, he is the managing editor of derbynewsnetwork.com, a central point for derby recaps, scores and previews that he launched in September 2007.

Jean Schwartzwalder aka Suzy Hotrod

Ginger Snap

Snap has been skating with Gotham Girls Roller Derby since 2004 and currently serves as League President.

She has been coaching for four-plus years and is proud to be a blocker/ pivot for her home team, Bronx Gridlock, and of course the ‘08 WFTDA Champs – GGRD’s All-Stars.

Pre-derby background consists of 15+ years of eclectic stuff including dance, martial arts, theatrical movement training, circus arts, Commedia dell’Arte, plus she’s SAFD Certified in Stage Combat. By day, she pretends to be a graphic designer but she’s actually doing derby work. Snap also serves as an Internal PR Mistress for WFTDA and looks forward to bugging your inbox quite soon.

advice

She Who Cannot Be Named Rocky Mountain Rollergirls, Denver, CO

DEAR BLOCKER AND JAMMER, “My boss says I have to choose between my career and derby – what should I do?”

-UNDER FIRE

DEAR UNDER FIRE, Without knowing the specifics of your situation, it’s hard to give good advice. If you truly think your boss was serious in stating that you have to make a choice between your career and derby, take a look at your on-the-job behavior. Or, you could simply ask him/her what is prompting such a bold statement. Having lively break time chats with your co-workers about knocking girls down? Well, as long as your aren’t alienating your co-workers so much that they don’t want to work with you, there’s no harm in discussing your passion (with workplace-appropriate language, of course). On the other hand, if you’ve received negative performance evaluations, or if you’ve been caught doing derby business on the job (think abusing your company’s Internet access to read all the Yahoo! derby boards), then you might have to think about how to budget your time better. Take a good look at the workload you’re carrying from your league; it might be time to delegate some of those responsibilities. Keep one or two tasks that you love and pass the rest off; chances are there are girls in your league that are looking for something to do. Don’t feel guilty! If you get canned because of derby, chances are you won’t be able to play because you’ll be spending all your time finding another job and be so stressed out you won't even be thinking about getting on the track!

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Dahmernatrix San Diego Derby Dolls, San Diego, CA

DEAR UNDER FIRE, That depends, which can you most easily live without: derby or food, warmth, and shelter? I hate choosing work over derby as much as the next girl but I have to admit it’s kinda hard to focus on skating when you’re cold, naked, and starving.

With limited hours in the day it’s difficult to have the time and energy to excel both on the derby track and on the career path. And I definitely know a lot of people who have chosen jobs based in part on whether or not it will allow them the time off that they need for tournaments, away games, practices, league duties, etc. How you want to structure your life, and how much of it you want to devote to work versus play, is entirely up to you to decide.

All the same, unless you are independently wealthy, or maybe professionally sponsored, choosing derby at the exclusion of work probably isn’t realistically feasible.

I hope your boss is exaggerating and maybe saying something stirring to try to get through to you in your derby-obsessed haze.

If you can, find out what it is about derby that is making your work performance suffer in a noticeable way.

With the wide range of careers I’ve found within the derby community, I find it hard to believe that your job and derby are completely incompatible – you probably just need to scale it down a little bit. Maybe even talk to your captain and take a hiatus until your work issues blow over.

Of course, this kind of decision is something you’ll have to make for yourself. Not even the best advice columnist in the best derby magazine (hey girls, buy subscriptions to fiveonfive today!) can make this decision for you. All I’m going to do is remind you that, unless you’ve found a dues and gear and travel sponsor, we all have to pay to play, so you may have to make a few compromises.

DEAR BLOCKER AND JAMMER, I’m a big ol’ thug of a blocker and I NEED to get faster.

No matter how hard I push, I’m just not fast enough.

What can I do to increase my speed?

Jules Doyle

-SLOWPOKE

DEAR SLOWPOKE, Hmm... well, increasing speed is hard. It’s hard to gauge in a derby game because it’s dependent on more than just you moving your feet; unlike speed skating where it’s just you and the track, others are trying to knock you down, get in your way, and be general pains in the butt. The key to speed in derby is not only going fast, but getting to top speed as quickly as possible. It’s awesome to be able to cut down your time on a 20 lap trial, but short bursts of energy are what’s needed in derby. Think busting up to the front to build a wall, getting up quickly if you’re knocked down, or helping your jammer through the pack. Those are specific blocker skills called for in a competitive game. You don’t mention what your training regimen is like, so I would highly suggest some off-skates plyometrics. Vertical jumps, hops, and yes, sprints (30 seconds or so, alternating with a minute and half rest – work up to a goal of eight rotations straight) will build those fast twitch muscle fibers in your legs that you’ll need to get that explosive movement on the track. There’s plenty of information online regarding exercises you can do.

One thing that has helped me work on increasing skating speed in general is to try to emulate those that are faster. During sprints, try to keep pace right off the line with someone slightly faster than you. Remember, skating form is also important.

When you’re skating upright, your body will meet more resistance, which can cause you to “drag.” It’s been said before, I know, but the lower the better. Usually all it takes is small tweaks to an existing training plan to see results. In a sport with so many ways to improve, we just have to put them into place.

DEAR SLOWPOKE, First off, I want to applaud your desire to get faster. A big pet peeve of mine is One Hit Wonder blockers who do one big move and then spend the rest of the jam chasing after the pack, trying to regain position as they hand their points away. If you can’t keep up and make yourself useful you’re just as worthless to your team as if you were in the penalty box, right? Acting like speed is a jammer-only concern is a lazy, uncompetitive way to see the game.

There are any number of things that can affect speed. If your wheels are too soft or your bearings too dirty they could be giving you too much resistance, making it feel like you’re skating through mud. If your wheels are too hard for your surface it may be difficult for you to grip the floor adequately. Most likely, though, your speed problems can be solved by fixing your form. When in doubt, get lower. There are many benefits to skating low, the most obvious that the lower you are, the longer your push will be, and the more ground you will cover with every stride.

If you’re not already incorporating off-skates strength exercises into your routine, now would be a good time to start. Another option is to start jamming in practice. Consciously knowing that you need to get faster is one thing, but nothing is more motivating to get your feet moving than the moments of sheer terror you can experience when jamming through a pack of bloodthirsty blockers, all gunning for you! Besides, learning how to maneuver through the pack like a jammer will only help you re-engage faster when you go back to blocking.

Whatever you choose to do, I kno w that it will improve your game and definitely make you scarier on the track. A big ol’ thug of a blocker that has the speed to chase jammers down before they get out of the pack is pretty much the stuff of starry-headed nightmares. Good luck making that a reality!

need advice? email advice@fiveonfivemag.com fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 5

business

code of conduct TAY L O R T R A S H , F T. WAY N E D E R B Y G I R L S

Almost any human resource person involved with derby will tell you that one of the most daunting tasks of any league can be the management of managing its people, who are (for the most part) volunteers. Can you make a volunteer do something? Is it possible to make a derby girl conform?

Can you make an announcer be “g-rated?” Experience tells us that we can never make another person do anything, but what a league can do is ensure that there are policies and procedures in place to govern what is and is not acceptable. This is typically referred to as a code of conduct. what is it?

A code of conduct by definition is a set of conventional principles and expectations that are considered binding on any person who is a member of a particular group. Simply put, it is a list of expectations that a group mandates which should also outline what the ramifications are to the member who does not follow them. why have it?

A person has a right to know what is expected of him or her. Members also have a right to know what will happen if those expectations are not followed.

Leagues (and businesses in general) have a right to expect conduct that protects their business structure.

Leagues should also have the right to respond to a person or action that does not adhere to their minimum standards. who should it cover?

A code of conduct should cover all members involved in your league,

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including spectators. Because of this, it is rare that one code of conduct document can cover all aspects of your league. It is therefore recommended that leagues have several different code of conduct documents that relate specifically to target groups within the league. For example, the skater’s code of conduct will have different verbiage than an announcer’s code of conduct as there will potentially be different expectations and repercussions.

A code of conduct document for spectators is also crucial. As derby continues to gain recognition as a legitimate sport, it becomes necessary to ensure that spectators know what is expected of them. This isn’t the roller derby of the past. Most leagues are marketing their games as family-friendly events and should have an outline available to their fan base noting what acceptable behavior is and what behavior will not be tolerated. NBA, NFL, etc. all have codes of conduct for spectators. Check with your venue to

encompass their expectations as well.

It will ensure that you are promoting success for your league and a long-tem good standing relationship with your venue! what should it say?

While there is no right or wrong wording per se, make sure that your expectations are clearly communicated and executable. Since derby is a sport, there should always be a communicated expectation of sportsmanship. Define it – define how it applies to your league, explain the importance of integrity among athletes and, most importantly, set very clear parameters on what is and is NOT mandated. Then, very clearly explain what the ramifications are for not meeting these expectations.

By way of example, an excerpt from a skater’s code of conduct: The world is not ideal, but <insert league name here> members will model OUR ideals and values.

Respect for the game and each other

is first and foremost. Poor sportswomanship. malicious violence, and disregard for the game rules will not be tolerated. Specifically, malicious gossip, personal insults (including but not limited to anything regarding race, religion, sexuality, body type, etc.), blatant disrespect toward another skater, and any other petty behavior that does not resemble sisterhood will not be tolerated. It will result in probation, and if multiple incidents occur, suspension from the league. Attempts to “poison the well” or sour another member’s opinion of a person, rule, or situation will not be tolerated. Larger and more experienced leagues have fallen apart because of personal issues, and we simply will not allow anyone’s bad behavior or negativity to be the demise of ours. Membership will not allow any one member to ruin the sisterhood and camaraderie that we all enjoy.

Note there is a clear definition of sportsmanship (or in this case “sportsWOMANship”) and a clear explanation of what will happen if it’s not followed. This is the key to a code of conduct! how to enforce it?

Most leagues opt for some type of grievance committee to enforce their code of conduct. Some leagues have a board of directors that enforces it.

Either way, there needs to be a forum

by which a person can air their grievance against a member of the league by way of written complaint.

Once the complaint is received by the person (or group of people) responsible for enforcement, it should be compared to the code of conduct to confirm that an expectation has been broken, not met, exceeded, etc. (depending on what the specific complaint entails). Once it is determined that there is a breech in the code of conduct, look to the consequences outlined in the COC to determine the appropriate disciplinary action that should come from the league.

By way of example, and excerpt from a volunteer code of conduct: I will not share any <insert league name here> information with any entity without the expressed written consent of the board of directors.

CONSEQUENCES I hereby agree that my conduct will conform to the foregoing while attending, announcing, or participating in a league event. If I fail to adhere to this, the league grievance committee will issue disciplinary action including, but not limited to, the following in any order or combination: 1. Verbal warning issued; 2. Written warning issued; 3. Suspension from league bout or multiple bouts; 4. Suspension from league event or multiple events; and 5. Suspension from league season or multiple seasons.

As you can tell from the excerpt, if a volunteer were to share confidential business practices with another league, the recourse for doing so is already in writing. This makes a grievance much easier to administer because the result of not following the code of conduct is already spelled out.

Roller derby has come a long way in the past several years, and it has done so because most leagues are managed as businesses. Profit or nonprofit, it is imperative that leagues communicate what is expected of all members, not just skaters. Ensure that code of conduct documents are distributed to all applicable members and require signatures from those members as proof that they have read, understood and agreed to comply with what is outlined in them. Keep those signatures on file should they ever be needed during a grievance! Post your spectator’s code of conduct on your website and distribute copies to security at your venues.

Make sure that there is an open communication between those that volunteer and those that enforce the expectations. Just like anything else, prevention is the best way to go. Preventing a mishap between people usually just requires simple communication!

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business

risk management: safety gear off the track S U B P O E N A E N V Y, R O C K F O R D R A G E

You, like many of us, decide life is not worth living without roller derby so you form a roller derby league or join an existing organization. Allowing your mind to wonder about possible dangers, you most likely think, “Am I going to break bones? Is someone going to booty block me into next week?” You do not think you could end up in court being sued for your assets including your vehicle, house and bank account. As derby grows and leagues become more sophisticated, you may become responsible for thousands of dollars and contractual obligations. You have to minimize your individual risk and the organization’s liability. This article will touch on the issues of business organizations, taxes, insurance and contracts where you, as a leader within your league, should consider engaging in risk management. Keep in mind that applicable statutes vary from state to state and I will be using examples from Illinois. business organization An advantage for creating a corporation is to reduce the personal liability of the individuals operating the league.

Corporations are legally considered separate entities with the ability to sue or be sued. Therefore, if you properly form a corporation and follow the correct procedures, the corporation has the exposure, not you as an individual.

In Illinois, the most applicable business organizations to roller derby are 8 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

corporation, nonprofit corporation, or limited liability corporation (LLC).

The goals of the league will guide in choosing the correct format. For example, if your main purpose is to make money, a corporation or LLC is appropriate. If your goal is to raise money for charities, then a nonprofit corporation may be best. Every business organization format has its own rules and requirements. For tax and liability issues, an attorney and accountant can guide you as to the best vehicle for your league. After determining how to organize, most states require articles of incorporation to be filed with the proper state agency, such as the Secretary of State, to be recognized as legitimate. Annually, there are reports and fees to pay to remain in good standing within the state. If you raise money on behalf of charities, you may have to register with a separate state agency which polices these organizations to prevent fraud and protect donors. For example, the Illinois Attorney General tracks charity organizations.

After formation, leagues must follow the statute and other rules they adopt to run the corporation in order to benefit from the corporation status. Usually corporations are required to adopt bylaws and document corporate actions through resolution. If the organization were to end up in litigation, courts review the actions of the organization to determine if they were operating

according to statute. If you do not abide by your bylaws and other formal requirements, a court may “pierce the corporate veil,” meaning because you were acting as individuals, you can no longer claim the protection of the corporation and your individual assets may be at risk. Another way to help limit exposure is through purchasing liability insurance for your board of directors or other corporate officers. Most major insurance companies have this type of insurance for a relatively low yearly rate. taxes A corporation is a separate entity and thus has separate federal, state and local tax liabilities. It must file its own tax returns. Time for filing tax returns is different from that of individuals and follows the corporation fiscal year.

Additionally, a nonprofit organization is not automatically tax exempt. It must apply to the Internal Revenue Service for this exemption. The exemption process involves a complex application which may require the assistance of an accountant. Finally, if your league sells merchandise, you are responsible for paying state or local sales taxes on a monthly or semi-annual basis. insurance and waivers Skaters and referees need to have a form of skater-approved insurance, such as WFTDA or USARS, depending how your league is sanctioned. These provide some minimal protection.

Encourage skaters to have health insurance coverage, even if it is just major medical, in case of a catastrophic injury. Venues where you practice and bout may require additional insurance coverage for events.

Every person who volunteers or participates in an event by a league should sign a waiver holding the league harmless of injury or money damages. contracts Contracts require each party to perform certain acts; if you do not follow through, the league may be liable for damages to the other party. Examples of contracts include a lease with the practice facility, a rental agreement with the bout venue, interleague bout agreements between teams, purchase agreements with vendors for merchandise, and contracts with professional photographers to try to protect the image of the league and its members. Some points you want to consider are what your maximum money exposure is, if you can perform the acts required, and what steps will be required if the other party fails to act. other potential liability issues Here are some other potential liabilities you should consider: • Raffles and 50/50 drawings may seem like easy ways to make money for the league, but in most areas you need to have a permit or license to do so and the application process may take months.

• The music industry is starting to regulate derby bouts; be sure to obtain a license to play music that is protected by copyright law.

• Leagues strive to outdo one another with clever titles for bouts. Be careful you are not too close to a copyrighted

movie, book, music, band, etc. or you may get a cease and desist letter followed by a lawsuit. In addition to legal costs, the league will also be out costs for promotional materials. how do we accomplish risk management?

League boards should appoint a board member or officer to be in charge of all risk management activities. Discuss strategies to reduce risk and adopt policies. Engage professionals to assist you. Leagues may believe that legal advice is cost prohibitive, but not having good legal counsel may be more expensive in the long run.

Similar to the medical profession, preventative legal action costs less than reactive legal costs. Here are some strategies to reduce costs: • Recruit an attorney and accountant.

You always need more skaters! Most attorneys are competitive by nature and many are athletes. Local and state bar associations often sponsor sport league teams. You could meet attorneys or accountants by organizing a social or fundraising event with the bar association – many hold what are referred to as “young lawyer” events. Team up with any young professional organizations in your area. Do not be afraid to ask attorneys you know if someone would be interested.

• Appeal to their charitable side (yes, some attorneys have hearts!).

If your organization is a nonprofit, you may find an attorney willing to provide legal counsel pro bono (some states require or strongly suggest attorneys provide a certain number of free hours per year) or at a reduced hourly rate.

• Try to negotiate a deal with an attorney or accountant on behalf of several leagues.

• Offer an exchange of goods, such as legal or accountant service advertisements in bout programs and events.

Roller derby is an incredible, exciting, growing sport. Take the necessary steps to protect the league and everyone involved so we can get back to what we love to do best – skate, booty block, hit and jam!

Disclaimer This is a general informational article about legal issues that arise in roller derby leagues and is necessarily limited in scope. This article is not intended to be legal advice nor does it create an attorney-client relationship. Readers should seek the advice of a competent attorney in their state when they need legal advice regarding a specific situation.

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health and fitness

coming back from a break T R I G G E R M O RT I S , A S S A S S I N AT I O N C I T Y R O L L E R D E R B Y

It was February 8th of this year at Dad’s Broadway Skateland.

We were deep in the heart of Texas and our Valentine’s mash up bout. There were several girls from all three of our league’s teams arbitrarily assigned to be on either the “Sweet Tarts” (the good girls) or the “Heart Ons” (the bad ones). The crowd waited on the edge of its seat, as it was a close one, and you could feel the sweaty electricity building in the air.

It was the last jam of the night and my bench coach, Magnum, held out the jammer panty in my direction and ordered “Hey Trig... You jam.” Anyone that’s ever laid eyes on me knows immediately that I’m not by any stretch of the imagination a jammer type, and I honestly had NEVER jammed, but I grinned, complied, and put that glorious star helmet cover on my head and grunted through my mouth guard, “I got this.” And with that, I barbarically punched the bench with my fist a couple of times, hopped up and rolled on over to my spot on the jam line against Gloria Vanderbitch. We simultaneously traded a couple of haughty “show me what you got” looks, hopped up on our toe stops, and squatted into the jammer ready position. The crowd had my back and was chanting my name. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity (but was actually only a few seconds) the whistle screeched.

What actually ensued after that doesn’t really matter.

Nevermind the fact that I got left in the dust by a much more built-for-speed Gloria Vanderbitch. Forget the fact that I had a harder time breaking the pack than trying to fit into a size six pair of skinny jeans. Let’s overlook the fact I went to the penalty box where I spent the remainder of the jam, and our scrappy little team ended up losing that bout.

What’s important to bring away from this story is that I had just come away with a more amazing personal victory than a trip to the box could ever tarnish. That bout was my first bout back from a long hiatus brought on by the most terrible derby injury I’d ever experienced: a broken leg. I was coming back from a break, literally, and it was a moment I’d dreamed of for eight long months of recovery.

Now, to say my leg was broken is an understatement. It was shattered, actually – in eleven places. It was just a freak accident. We were scrimmaging, I got hit really good while I wasn’t looking, and fell wrong. I tried to plant my feet instead of succumbing to the fall in smart, “fall small” manner, and I paid the price. Boy did I pay the price. The night I spent in the emergency room, when I implored the x-ray tech, doctor, or whatever-he-was to “Tell me, it’s just a bad sprain, right?”

I spoke with two other skaters who had suffered injuries, listened to their cautionary tales and thought that, at the very least, they would have pearls of wisdom for derby girls currently coming back from a break. What I got from them was much more than that - stories of the strength of the human spirit, the unyielding love for derby, and positive, inspirational words to live by - on and off the track.

Pyro Maim Ya #10/70 Assassination City Roller Derby – Dallas, TX What was your injury?

I shattered the tibia/fibula in my left leg – I was broken in 11 places (my fibula was basically gravel). I have two plates and 17 screws in what I affectionately refer to as my bionic leg.

How did it happen?

Remember how the first rule of derby safety is “fall small?” As I was making my first scoring pass through the pack during scrimmage at practice, a blocker lost her balance and kicked out her leg. Her skate connected with my calf and the pileup that followed wrapped my leg around her foot. Donkey kicks are one of the most dangerous mistakes in derby!

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How long was your recovery?

I had to wait nearly a week for surgery.

After that, I was in a wheelchair/on crutches and in a walking boot for almost four months.

I was cleared for non-contact skating around six months and was released for contact at seven months.

What fears did you face when returning?

My sense of personal space changed while my bones were growing back, so I had to get used to being in a tight pack again. I was afraid to get kicked in the leg (for over a year after I returned to skating, my leg ached a lot and any contact with the plates freaked me out). I was afraid that leg would always be weaker, and I was afraid I’d never be able to snowplow correctly again.

I reffed for five months before I felt comfortable

with full contact again, but when I came back, I came back with a vengeance!

How was your attitude? What kept you going?

This injury was the worst and best thing that could have happened to me. My drive to return and my ambition to become a better skater than I had been before the break fueled me. I lost over 30 pounds and became faster and more agile than I have ever been.

Pain factor upon returning?

I have a pretty high pain threshold, but in the beginning the pain was worse than childbirth!

At first, it hurt a lot – enough to make me seriously reconsider returning (that lasted for about a day). The pressure on the screws and new bone growth was pretty unpleasant for the first year. Two years out, I’m so used to the dull

He squinted his eyes, sucked air through his teeth and said with the utmost tact and sensitivity, “Honestly, it looks like someone took a sledgehammer to your leg. I don’t know how you’re gonna skate again.” It was way worse than a sprain. As It turns out, I had broken my tibia in three places and my fibula in eight. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I buried my face in the crook of my arm so my derby wife, Smack the Ripper, couldn’t see me crying.

My sweet teammates... they were there through the whole terrible ordeal. I just couldn’t deal with it at that moment. Derby was my life. To some degree, it defined me as a person, and the thought of never skating again made me immediately feel like I had died inside. I was just coming into my own as a skater and it was all taken away from me in the blink of an eye.

The week following that fateful night was a tornado of surgeries, hospital stays, morphine drips and, occasionally, chocolate ice cream to make it not seem so bad.

I was really out of it, and, although I don’t really remember much during those days, my mother had told me that most of the girls from the league had come by at some point or another to bring me get well packages and offer up encouraging words.

Even some of the surrounding leagues like the West Texas Roller Dolls and the East Texas Bombers had sent flowers or get well gifts. When I came out of the haze, I had two plates and thirty two screws freshly implanted into my leg. I even had, at one

ache that it rarely registers anymore.

Did you stay active in derby during your hiatus? If so, how?

I fell in love with yoga during my recovery. It improved my balance and strength – physically, mentally and emotionally. I highly recommend yoga to any athlete recovering from a serious injury. It changed my life for the better – I practice every day.

How had the game/skaters changed while you were out?

Most of my old team retired and the skaters who stayed transferred to other teams. The game became much more strategic – our league began to implement a higher level of training than I’d experienced during my first season. We became more athletic and more driven as a league.

How did you get yourself back up to speed?

I skated my buns off! I attended every practice, even when I was in the chair or on crutches.

point, an external fixator on my leg, a freaky contraption that was made to hold the bones in place. It was, at best, a medieval looking torture device that kids couldn’t stop staring at whenever I went out in public. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had tried to poke me with a stick or throw rocks at me.

I was bed-ridden and wheelchair bound for quite some time and physical therapy was excruciating, but none of that was as difficult as the knowledge that I couldn’t be out there playing the sport that I loved.

What was also very difficult was the feeling of helplessness I felt for the first time. I had always viewed myself as strong and, well, dammit, near invincible. Having to ask for help to get to the front door, or to get into the bathtub was very humbling. Everyone was more than willing to help, but I had a hard time facing the fact that people might see a weak Trigger Mortis, which I just couldn’t have. Needless to say, I eventually had to suck it up and get used to people helping me during my time of need.

With the help of my friends and family, I still went to almost all of the practices. I watched from the sidelines and cheered, yelled and sometimes helped run practices while I waited for my leg to heal. There were a couple of things that kept me going during my darkest times when I felt like dropping off the face of the derby map. First, the amazing support and love I got from my derby sisters really made my heart melt. I was never alone at home. The girls were constantly coming over, bringing

I became involved with training so I could watch and learn, even if I couldn’t participate. When I was cleared for noncontact skating, I resumed my outdoor skating a couple of times per week in addition to league practice. The weight loss also helped me regain my agility and speed and the yoga gave me flexibility that helped my range of motion return quickly.

How had your attitude/approach to derby changed when you returned?

I have always had a deep and abiding love for derby, but my passion was reignited. You want it so much more when it is taken away from you!

On a personal level, I’d spent several years in a bit of a complacent rut. My injury triggered the most intense aspects of my personality – I was fully charged and ready to return to the track as a completely transformed skater. One of my proudest moments was receiving Most Improved trophies last season from my team and the

entire league – it validated all of the hard work and desire I pour into this sport (and into my training every single day).

What advice would you give to injured skaters? Any insight?

It’s so hard not to feel sorry for yourself and wallow a bit. It hurts like hell to watch your league skate without you. Know that this is only a temporary setback. Treat it as a test and pass with flying colors! Don’t get too dependent on your painkillers and don’t drown your sorrows in alcohol, because this will only set you back and make you more miserable. Eat well, get plenty of sleep, and stay as active as your injury permits so that your body will be healthy and heal more quickly. Do your own physical therapy at home in addition to the exercises the doctor and physical therapists give you (just don’t overdo it).

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 11

health and fitness me food and making me laugh. Another thing that helped keep me going was the love from the derby community. People I didn’t even know reached out to me to offer encouragement, and in some cases, they took up collections to help me pay for medication, dues and whatnot.

Of all the things that fueled me through my ordeal, the one thing I focused on most was the fact that I was not alone in my injury. Believe it or not, almost a year before, another one of my teammates had suffered the exact same injury – same leg, same number of breaks, and as crazy as it sounds, close to the same date. Pyro Maim Ya was my hero, my magic eight ball and my oracle through my recuperation. I had watched her recovery for the last year and knew that, although the road would be hard, it was possible to eventually come back from such an injury. And if I hit a stumbling block along my journey, I knew all I had to do was ask Pyro since she had already been through it months earlier, so I barraged her with questions via text at all hours of the day and night. “Does your leg ever do this...?” or “Did you have trouble with this movement...?” If she had set up a wooden stand at the rink and hung a sign that said “Injury Advice – 25 cents,” Pyro would have made (and would still be making) a good living off of my patronage alone.

Make no mistake. I faced numerous frustrations upon my return to skating: the foreign feeling of having to start learning to skate again from scratch on what seemed like someone else’s

Death By Chocolate #69 Houston Roller Derby – Houston, TX How did it happen?

After scoring 43 points in a game, I fell wrong and twisted my ankle. My doctor says it was probably breaking prior to that last fall.

How long was your recovery?

Three and a half months.

What fears did you face when returning?

How would I skate? How long would it take me to get back to “skating” shape? What if I couldn’t be there to help my team? What if I were more of a hindrance than a help? What if I break something else? What kind of crazy am I?!?!

How was your attitude? What kept you going?

Kinda pissy in the beginning. Who wants to sit on the side and watch?! My families (blood and derby) kept me energized, passionate about the sport, and pushing myself. I did it for myself to prove I could come back and still be a threat.

Pain factor upon returning?

Stiffness was the main problem when coming back to practice three-plus times a week. I was limping after the first game! Pain should only be 12 | Fall 2009 2008 | fiveonfivemag.com

leg. The misdirected jealousy toward other skaters that had improved beyond my skill level while I was out of commission.

The loss of precious time, and, worst of all, insurmountable fear of falling wrong again paired with the distrust I felt while skating near even my own teammates. But eventually the fear fades, the trust is rebuilt, and you end up learning to skate smarter, not harder.

During my recovery, I did a lot of research on derby injuries, and discovered that Pyro and I were by no means alone. There were, in fact, a ton of girls across the country that had suffered similar derby injuries, and each had a story to tell. Pyro and I still joke that we are Pyrobot and Trigger 2.0, members of “The Bionic Bitches Club.” It’s a small and implied club, and the “dues” are expensive, but there are members scattered across the country and beyond, and we wear our purple hearts on the inside.

To anyone outside of roller derby, it might seem crazy to put skates back on after a major injury such as what some of us have experienced. To jump back on the proverbial horse that threw you might seem insane to civilians. But among roller derby girls, it’s just the way we do things. We don’t try to hide our bruises, and we wear our scars with pride. And while there may not exactly be safety in numbers when it comes to derby injuries, it is safe to assume that whether it be a broken nose or a broken leg, in roller derby, you are never alone. Just ask Pyro Maim Ya. I always did.

temporary. Work yourself until the pain goes away, or at least minimizes.

Did you stay active in derby during your hiatus? If so, how?

I went to practices, pushed my teammates, helped out my team in every way. Called lineups for games and was there for calls/talks/emails whenever someone needed me. Just because I couldn’t skate doesn’t mean I couldn’t be a friend.

How had the game/skaters changed while you were out?

My injury was prior to rules changes and the amount of time I was out was minimal compared to other injuries. I was lucky/blessed in being able to come back and jump right in. I also pushed myself not only at practices, but doing anything I could to get back in the “skate” of things. Prior to putting my skates back on I made sure I was exercising my entire body, not just the part that was injured.

How did you get yourself back up to speed?

Attending three-plus practices a week with my team/league, street skating, biking, running,

vitamins, exercises that concentrated on correcting my injury, and listening to the doctor about what I could do to help strengthen my ankle.

How had your attitude/approach to derby changed when you returned?

There was definitely a level of appreciation that wasn’t there before. To be sidelined and have to watch skaters be grumpy, complain, etc. made me say I would never complain (seriously!) about being on the floor. I wasn’t a slacker by any means, but ever since I came back I’m one of the first ones on the rink encouraging my team to hit the floor. You never know what small move can take it all away in the blink of an eye.

What advice would you give to injured skaters? Any insight?

Don’t let anything hold you back. If you want to skate, put your heart and body into it. Encourage your teammates because they will be the ones out there for you when you need it. You can’t do it alone and it’s it's always more fun with your friends!

I still have my cast and they let me keep the hardware, a screw and seven plates!!

low back pain and derby D R J, S I O U X FA L L S R O L L E R D O L L Z

Your team is already at practice. You race in late, without any time to stretch or warm up. You lace up your skates and get on the track. There is a pileup ahead of you and as you swerve to avoid it, you feel a pop in your back and you crash to the floor in agonizing pain. Your teammates rush over as you still cannot get up. You are feeling lightning bolts of pain down the back of your right leg like electric fire. You try to stand up but your leg feels weak and wobbly.

You should: A) sit down and have a beer B) stand up and have a beer C) continue to skate and just drag your right leg around the track after you D) get to a doctor knowing this could be a serious problem Correct answer: D Low back pain is so common it seems like more people have it than do not!

This type of injury is even more common in sports like roller derby. The muscles of the back have a lot of work to do in derby to help provide stability during the constant stress of moving on the track and keeping you steady on your skates.

Most low back pain is caused by a strain on muscles due to an unexpected fast movement or overuse. The muscles can go into a spasm, causing painful and restricted movement. Most low back pain like this will go away after about 48 to 72 hours.

However, not all back pain is so simple, nor goes away so readily. Any low back pain associated with a fall may cause damage and fracture to the spine. Pain that radiates down the leg can

indicate nerve injury. Any low back pain that is associated with trauma; severely painful; or associated with tingling, numbness or pain in the legs should be evaluated by a physician. Any low back pain paired with a sensation of weakness in your legs is also potentially very serious.

Of course, the best treatment for low back pain is prevention.

There are some things in your control that may be helpful in the prevention of low back pain. Core strengthening exercises improve your backâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ability to withstand the twisting and stresses of derby. Flexibility exercises are also important â&#x20AC;&#x201C; be sure to stretch at every practice. Cigarettes are also bad for your back (as well as your lungs, heart, etc.).

Consider adding a cool down period of stretching and exercise as a regular routine after practices and bouts.

Low back problems are common and can be pretty annoying.

Hopefully, with some preparation and exercise however, we can avoid injuries.

If an injury does happen, get it checked and treated so you can get back on those skates ASAP!

NOTICE AND DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as a reference only. The information is not intended to be nor should this information be used as a substitute for medical treatment. If you suspect that you have a medical problem or are experiencing any health issues, you are recommended to seek the advice of competent medical care and to consult with your personal physician.

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 13

health and fitness

getsome training to avoid injury C A R M E N G E T S O M E , R AT C I T Y R O L L E R G I R L S

Strained PCL’s (posterior cruciate ligament), separated shoulders and torn menisci are a daily threat for roller derby athletes. Due to the rapidly increasing popularity of roller derby, we are seeing an unusually high rate of injury for a new sport. With the phrase, “in roller derby, it is not if you will get injured, but when” being used so frequently, it is hard for many skaters to believe there are things they can do that will dramatically reduce their risk of injury on the track.

In June of 2004, I received a Bachelors of Science in Exercise Science from Eastern Washington University. Since graduation I have been working in the fitness field designing exercise programs to help athletes improve their sport specific abilities and reduce their chance of injury. As an exercise specialist and a derby athlete myself, I have seen too many preventable injuries sideline incredible skaters. In response to observing the multitude of injuries we sustain in our sport, I started my own company, Getsome Athletics, determined to help the derby community reduce the high number of injuries. Getsome Athletics was created so I could produce an offskates DVD workout training program.

The Getsome Athletics training program is a variable level, total body strength and conditioning workout. It is designed to specifically improve a skater’s performance and endurance on the track, as well as help them avoid injury.

One of the primary reasons we have an abundance of injuries in our sport is the skaters’ lack of preparation. In the past, skaters have done very little to prepare

14 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

their bodies for impact before beginning to hit each other. Preparing for impact is not simply tightening up your stomach muscles and wincing as a skater slams into someone else. Decreasing the chance of injury during impact requires a skater to invest time and energy into an offskates strength training program. When appropriately trained, skaters’ muscles are able to properly support their joints as they hit another skater or, in a less fortunate situation, as they crash onto the floor.

Roller derby’s most common injuries are knee-related and most of the skaters with knee injuries have very similar body weaknesses – scrawny gluteus medius (glut med). The glut med is a butt muscle that lies on the outer part of the buttock and hip, with one of its primary responsibilities being to stabilize the hip which helps the knee track forward with good alignment. When the glut med is weak, the knee dives in, creating an abnormal stress on the knee. Many skaters survive with this weakness for a while, but when you couple this abnormal stress on the knee with repetitive impact the result can, and most likely will, lead to severe injury to the knee.

To combat this and other weaknesses, skaters need to begin a periodized offskates strengthening program in addition to their regular skating routine. Simply put, periodization is a basic form of staggering your workouts, which allows the body to increase in strength without over-fatiguing the muscles. A standard periodization schedule goes for one year

of training and is split into four week segments. In a standard four week month, the first week is a base week, followed by two weeks of progressively more difficult and intense exercises. The fourth week is a rest week in which a skater will reduce the intensity of the workout routine, allowing the body to rest and recover before beginning the next month of training.

An appropriate strengthening program for roller derby should include 30 to 60 minutes of off-skates training three to four days per week. This off-skates workout program should begin with simple global strengthening exercises and build up to explosive plyometric activities. Plyometric exercises are designed to produce fast, powerful movements, and improve the functions of the nervous system, which, in turn, improves your sports performance.

This is done by repetitively loading muscles and contracting them in rapid sequence to increase the strength of the contraction over time. For roller derby athletes, these exercises most notably increase a skaters’ explosive strength, ability to change speeds and hitting power.

The Getsome Athletics off-skates workout DVD that I have created has multiple levels of exercises that are broken down into 10 segments made up of five to 10 minutes of exercise each.

These exercise segments can be used to create a periodization schedule for an off-skates training program (see chart for sample periodization schedule to use with Getsome Athletics Off-Skates Workout DVD). This training schedule begins with

exercises that strengthen all of the large muscle groups before morphing into the jumping and high intensity plyometric exercises in week five. This sample schedule would be a good pre-season off-skates training routine for an already fit skater. Each individual needs to assess their level of fitness and adjust their

week 1 week 2 week 3 week 4 week 5 week 6 week 7 week 8

Monday A, C, D, E, J A, G, D, E, J A, B, C, D, J A, C, E, J Rest A, F, G, E, J Rest Rest

schedule accordingly.

Roller derby is a rapidly growing sport and unfortunately, as quickly as the sport is becoming popular, our athletes are getting injured. It is up to us, the athletes and coaches, to encourage each other to get in shape and avoid injury. A well prepared and organized off-skates training

Tuesday Rest Rest Rest Rest A, B, H, E, J Rest A, F, G, H, I, J A, F, I, J

Wednesday A, B, C, E, J A, B, G, H, J A, B, C, D, I, J A, B, C, E, J Rest A, F, G, H, E, J Rest Rest

A: Warm Up B: Beginning Plyometrics C: Beginning Workout Section 1

Thursday Rest Rest Rest Rest A, F, C, D, E, J Rest A, C, D, I, J A, B, G, I, J

D: Beginning Workout Section 2 E: Beginning Core F: Advanced Plyometrics G: Advanced Workout Section 1

routine is the best way to avoid on-skate injuries.

So don’t delay, Getsome training today and you will become fitter, faster and much more likely to be injury-free!

Pick up your copy of Getsome Athletics Off-Skates Workout DVD today at fastgirlskates.com!

Friday A, B, C, D, E, J A, B, C, D, E, J A, B, G, H, E, J A, C, D, E, J Rest A, B, G, H, J Rest Rest

Saturday Rest Rest Rest Rest A, F, C, D, I, J Rest A, F, G, H, I, J A, G, H, I, J

Sunday Rest Rest Rest Rest Rest A, F, C, H, I, J Rest Rest

H: Advanced Workout Section 2 I: Advanced Core J: Cool Down

creamy dreamy mac and cheese Catholic Cruel Girl, Rocky Mountain Rollergirls

We all deserve a break now and then and sometimes just a good, old-fashioned comfort meal works wonders. This decadent Mac and Cheese will bring a smile to your face and the added tomatoes and greens will keep the guilt at bay. Enjoy! ingredients: 5 tablespoons Earth Balance natural buttery spread (or your favorite non-salted butter or butter substitute) 4 medium sized organic roma tomatoes 1 cup organic Panko (Japanese style breadcrumbs) 2 pinches of salt 1 pound organic penne or rigatoni pasta 1 small onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced 4 cups unsweetened almond milk 4 tablespoons organic all purpose flour A pinch or 2 of cayenne pepper ½ pound grated Fontina cheese ½ pound grated Gruyere cheese ¾ cup grated Parmesan cheese 2-3 cups freshly chopped organic spinach or kale

• Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Brush 2 quart casserole dish with ½ tablespoon melted butter substitute. Slice tomatoes and set aside.

• Boil large pot of water and prepare pasta according to package directions.

• Toss Panko in 2 tablespoons melted butter substitute.

• In a large saucepan, over medium heat, melt remaining butter substitute and sauté garlic and onion, stirring for about 5 minutes. In another pan, gently heat 2 cups almond milk and set aside. Add flour to onion and garlic pan stirring for 2 minutes. Whisk in warm almond milk, then cool.

Add cayenne and salt and pepper to taste.

• Increase heat to high and stir mixture for 6-8 minutes. It will begin to thicken. (If mixture gets to boiling point turn down heat).

• Remove from heat and add Fontina, Gruyere and ½ cup Parmesan, stirring until smooth. Pour cheese over pasta and add spinach or kale and mix.

Put into casserole dish and place tomato slices over the top. Sprinkle with breadcrumbs and remaining parmesan.

• Bake for about 30 minutes rotating pan halfway through cooking time.

Top should be golden brown and bubbling. Cool 10 minutes before serving.

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 15

games and coaching

2009 regionals preview JUSTICE FEELGOOD MARSHALL, CHARM CITY ROLLER GIRLS

The 2009 WFTDA Regional Tournament season kicks off in early September with a major change – after years of a binary East/West structure, WFTDA has split into four regions, meaning it'll take four tournaments to determine who goes to November’s Nationals this year. Ten teams from each region will go to the tourneys this year, and in another change from previous years, only the top three will advance to Nationals – in 2007 and 2008, the final four from each region went. This has the effect of making the third place bout much more meaningful, as only the winner will get a trip to the final showdown in Philly.

In this 10-team structure, the seven through 10 seeds will have to play an extra bout at the beginning. The winners of those bouts proceed to the eight-team quarterfinals. Only the teams that win in the quarterfinals and advance to the final four will remain alive for a possible Nationals slot – the teams that advance to their regional championship bout are guaranteed to go, while the teams that lose in the final four get one more chance in the third-place game. While there are consolation games for all teams to determine a comprehensive first through 10 slot by the end of the tournament, any team that loses its first bout is definitely out of Nationals, and the seven through 10 seeds must win their first two games to stay in the hunt.

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

16 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

Eastern Regionals: September 11th-13th, Raleigh, NC The Eastern Region tournament picture was scrambled a bit when qualifying leagues Maine (who would have been ranked #9) and Harrisburg (who would have been ranked #7) declined their tournament invitations; DC and Dominion will be going in their stead.

The first round here finds Pittsburgh’s Steel City (now seeded 7th) up against Dominion at #10, while #8 Connecticut takes on #9 DC. The winner of Steel City/Dominion gets a quarterfinal date with #3 Charm City, while the winner of Connecticut/DC draws #2 Philly.

Charm City has been the busiest of all WFTDA leagues this year, playing a very

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

ambitious schedule that’s seen them rack up an 11-3 record thus far in 2009.

By the time of the tournament, they’ll have already played five of the other teams (Gotham, Philly, Carolina, Boston, and Providence), and will be hoping that the experience built up this season will translate into a trip to Nationals.

Philly hasn’t been quite as busy, but has been quite dominant thus far in 2009, riding a seven-game winning streak dating back to their upset victory in the third place bout of 2008 Nationals over Texas. This year they’ve pounded very talented teams in Kansas City (145-44) and Rat City (123-35).

If Charm City and Philly survive their quarterfinal bouts, they’ll meet in the semifinals.

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

Heavily favored Gotham rolls into the tournament with the #1 seed and an unprecedented 16-game winning streak stretching back to November 2007; #6 seed Providence hold a three game winning streak, having defeated Maine, Harrisburg and Montreal earlier this year, but they’ll have their hands full with the 2008 champions.

Undoubtedly the marquee quarterfinal match-up will be the hosting Carolina Rollergirls, seeded #4 in the region, taking on the #5 Boston Massacre.

These teams are arguably two of the most closely matched in all of flat-track derby. At the 2008 Eastern Regionals, Carolina denied Boston an upset win and what would have been a trip to Nationals with a literally last-minute comeback, winning 77-75. In this year’s rematch at ECE, Boston battled back from an early deficit and took the lead late, only to lose by a single point, 82-81.

Whichever team loses this opening round bout will be unable to advance to Nationals, while the winner will advance to play the winner of Gotham vs.

Providence in the semifinals.

North Central Regionals: September 18-20, St. Paul, MN Tournament debuts for a significant number of rapidly improving teams, closely matched teams make the North Central picture particularly intriguing.

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

The opening round pits #8 seed North Star (cross-town rivals of Minnesota) vs. Milwaukee’s Brewcity, the #9 seed. The closeness of the lowranked teams is well illustrated by this one – these teams met in June and Brewcity eked out a 92-91 win. In the #7 vs. #10 match-up, high seed Grand Raggidy (Grand Rapids, MI), battles Cleveland, OH’s Burning River. Burning River has proven themselves to be a steadily improving force, nearly knocking off Cincinnati earlier this year in a 107-93 loss and coming within six points of Brewcity in June, 120-114.

In the quarterfinals, the winner of North Star/Brewcity goes up against #3 seed Madison, while the winner of Grand Raggidy/Burning River takes on #2 Detroit.

Madison holds a 4-1 record thus far in 2009, with the only blemish being a 152-112 loss to Kansas City in interregional action at June’s ECE. They’ve dropped Cincinnati, Tampa Bay, Brewcity and Arch Rival thus far this year. Detroit is 3-3 on the year, having defeated Carolina, Grand Raggidy and Arch Rival but losing to Charm City, Rat City and Windy City.

If both Detroit and Madison get out of their quarterfinal match-ups, they will meet in the semifinals with a trip to Nationals on the line.

The unfortunate #6 seed here turns out to be tournament hosts Minnesota – to have a chance at advancing to Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

Nationals, they must upset #1 seed Windy City. After a rough patch in 2008 where they lost six of seven bouts, Minnesota has been looking stronger recently and holds a six game winning streak dating back to last year’s Eastern Regionals. Windy City, though, dealt them the biggest loss of their history in 2008, 206-18, making a Minnesota win here a tall order indeed. This year, WCR is 4-1 with their only loss being a one point squeaker to Philly. #4 Cincinnati takes on #5 Arch Rival in a remaining quarterfinal match-up that’s almost impossible to call. Both of these teams have put in wildly varying performances all year long – Cincy performed extremely well for a half against national powerhouse Windy City at ECE, but couldn’t keep it going in the second and lost 127-54. However, they had to fight hard against much lower ranked Burning River in April. Their two wins against Grand Raggidy this year have had much different margins – an 84-52 win in February and a 147-29 spanking in May. Arch Rival is 4-2 on the year with a surprising 128-113 upset win over the West region’s Duke City, but was stymied by regional competition Madison 109-74 in July and had a tough time with Brewcity in a 81-70 final in May. Whoever gets out of that struggle with the win remains alive in the hunt for Nationals, and gets to take on the winner of Windy City vs. Minnesota in the semifinals.

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 17

games and coaching South Central Regionals: September 25th-27th, Atlanta, GA The new South Central region looks a little top-heavy this year, but that does have the effect of creating a serious dogfight for third place, with three or four teams having a decent shot at the Nationals slot.

The opening round here pits #8 seed West Texas vs. #9 seed No Coast and #7 seed Tampa Bay vs. #10 seed Memphis.

No Coast has had a pretty rough run of it in 2009, going 3-6 with a couple of 100+ point losses to Kansas City and Arch Rival. They sport a 5-11 all time record in sanctioned bouts but three of those wins have been over regional rivals Northwest Arkansas; they’ve yet to take down a tournament-level team. West Texas took even larger losses this year against deadly Denver (313-48) and Texas (243-40). Like No Coast, most of their success has come against the same competition: WTRD’s all-time sanctioned bout record is 4-3, with two Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

wins over the green Oklahoma Victory Dolls and two wins over Alamo City.

Tampa Bay is 1-4 this year, successful over Dixie but on the wrong side of two losses to Nashville and one each to Madison and Dallas. Memphis, relatively new to the WFTDA scene with their first sanctioned bout in November 2008, 18 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

is 4-2 on the year but has only won against sub-tournament level teams in Hard Knox, Assassination City, Big Easy and Green Country; they’ve lost against tourney teams Nashville (118-60) and Atlanta (183-101).

The quarterfinals see the winner of West Texas/No Coast facing #3 Houston, while the winner of Tampa Bay/Memphis plays #2 Kansas City.

Houston has been pretty quiet in interleague play this year with only two sanctioned bouts, a win over Atlanta 127-101 and a rout of Big Easy, 254-45.

(They did, however, get a non-sanctioned win when they took on the Texas home team Honky Tonk Heartbreakers and squeaked out a 108-105 triumph). With relatively little data, it’s hard to tell where they’ll be come tourney time. Kansas City holds a 4-2 record on 2009, with the high point being a 152-112 victory over Madison; they also gave highly-regarded Charm City a serious first-half scare before going down 135-115 in the end.

2007 champs KC are unquestionably

Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

hungry to return to Nationals after missing 2008 due to a shocker of a quarterfinal upset at the hands of Duke City during Western Regionals.

If Houston and Kansas City advance as seeding projects, they will meet in the semifinals.

Derby titans Texas will be starting their third quest to claim the national title that barely eluded them in 2007 and 2008. They hold the #1 seed and will take on #6 Nashville on the other side of the quarterfinal bracket. Texas is 6-1 on the year and has devastated low-ranked competition with wins of 203, 198 and 443 points, but did play three competitive bouts during a East Coast swing in June – losing to Gotham (84-76) and beating Charm City (112-104) and Boston (118-84). Nashville has built a 6-2 record this year, but with the exception of two wins over Tampa Bay (128-95 and 154-142), all those wins have been against sub-tournament level competition.

Finally, Dallas and Atlanta square off in the #4 seed/#5 seed match-up. Like the other regions, this slot is easily the most compelling early match and is a rematch of a contested, controversial 115-108 Dallas win in January. Dallas rolled to a four-bout string of big 80+ point wins before losing to Duke City megan moss freeman photography

137-86; leaving them with a 5-1 record on 2009. Atlanta has played more bouts this year than any other tournament team with the exception of Charm City with 13, but their record is 6-7.

The winner of Dallas/Atlanta takes on the winner of Texas/Nashville in the semifinals.

Western Regionals: October 3rd-5th, Denver, CO The Regionals cycle ends with arguably the most competitive tournament of the four – in a marked difference from the other regions, almost every team here has previous experience at the regionaltournament level. Ironically enough, the only two who don’t are the bottom seed... and the top seed.

The opening round has #8 Rocky Mountain going up against #9 Tucson while #7 Pikes Peak meets #10 Angel City. When RMRG and Tucson last met in November 2008, it came down to a 96-92 win for Rocky Mountain, so this ought to be one to watch. On the flip, tournament virgins Angel City (Los Angeles) hope to take the next step with a takedown of Pikes Peak – Pikes has had a very up-and-down year, with most of their bouts being significant blowouts either for or against.

The Rocky Mountain/Tucson winner will draw #3 Rose City while the Pikes Pitchit / dryheatderby.com

Peak/Angel City winner moves on to #2 Denver.

Both Rose City and Denver have come very close to knocking off top seed Oly. In March, Rose City lost to Oly 157-151 – Rose would follow up with three wins against stiff competition, though, stopping Rat City 148-134, Carolina 120-62 and Bay Area 138-120. After losing their first five WFTDA sanctioned bouts in 2008, Denver has been absolutely on fire in 2009, rolling to a surprise victory in the six-team Four Corner Feud tournament in February and putting some serious point totals up on their opponents – 182-64 on Pikes Peak, 313-48 on West Texas, and 299-74 on Atlanta. The only blemish on their 5-1 record is a two point loss to Oly in April, 170-168.

Assuming Rose City and Denver are able to get past their quarterfinal competition, they’ll move on to face each other in the final four.

Top seed Oly comes into the tournament with an undefeated 5-0 record in sanctioned play and is looking jayvollmar.com

to definitively prove that they’re for real; they only played their first WFTDA bout in January of 2009. They’ll be facing probably the most dangerous #6 seed in this year’s tourney cycle in Duke City, who know a little something about facing down #1 seeds in the first round; at last year’s Westerns, coming in as the #8 seed, they upset #1 seed and 2007 champs Kansas City.

The #4 vs. #5 quarterfinal sets up a battle between Rat City and Bay Area.

Bay Area will doubtlessly be looking for revenge on the Seattle crew – earlier this year, Bay Area held the #1 slot in the region but took a big tumble down to #5 after Rat City beat them at home.

BAD took a beating against Boston at RollerCon 129-52, but came back strong with a close loss against Rose City 138-120 and then a rout of non-WFTDA San Diego, 140-67. Rat City’s put together a 4-3 record this year, with high points in defeats of Carolina and Detroit.

The winner of Rat City vs. Bay Area takes on Oly or Duke City in the final four.

Elayna Rose Photography

DRILL drill: three team mayhem

purpose: This drill touches on the three main parts of derby: offense, defense, and jamming. It is also great for endurance.

Divide skaters into three even groups. Each group sends a pair consisting of a jammer and a blocker to make their way through the other two opposing groups. When the jammer breaks through a group, she and her blocker should move onto the next pack of opposing blockers. Once the jammer/blocker pair makes it back to their original group, a new pair is sent off to fight their way through the opposing pa cks. Dependent on time, each skater should go through the drill as both a blocker and a jammer. fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 19

:)7'$ ($67(51

5(*,21$/6 5$/(,*+ 1&

Friday, October 2nd - Sunday, October 4th Denver, Colorado

Angel City Derby Girls • Bay Area Derby Girls • Denver Roller Dolls Duke City Derby • Oly Rollers • Pikes Peak Derby Dames • Rat City Rollergirls Rocky Mountain Rollergirls • Rose City Rollers • Tucson Roller Derby

www.DerbyOnTheRocks.com

games and coaching

preparing mind and body for tournament action M A L I C E W I T H C H A I N S , W I N DY C I T Y R O L L E R S Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com

More teams than ever are participating in the four regional tournaments and at nationals. There are also new derby tournaments popping up every quarter. This means that more rollergirls than ever will be skating in multiple bouts over a short period of time. Preparing for tournament play is much different than preparing for a single bout â&#x20AC;&#x201C; even one against a top rival.

To succeed in tournament play, a team must prepare physically and mentally for a loooooong weekend including being ready to adapt to the crazy schedule, being mentally fit, well rested, ready to skate on any surface, and well fed and hydrated. These are a few key areas to tweak so that adapting to multiple bouts wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be so taxing and you can avoid a fatigue-related drop-off in performance. scheduling A great way to prepare your body and mind for tournament play is to simulate the experience. Only so many teams were able to register for two bouts at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza weekend in Philly, but many teams this year are scheduling bouts very aggressively. Charm City and Texas have scheduled double headers and multiple bouts over a weekend period. Many other teams are scheduling scrimmages the morning after a bout.

If you are a visiting team, find a league nearby to scrimmage the next day. This is a great way to make a trip out of town worth the expense AND train your bodies. An unsanctioned scrimmage with the team you just played can allow for certain players to rest and for others to gain valuable experience. If another team is unavailable to scrimmage the day after a bout, schedule a scrimmage or rigorous practice within your league.

Every league has a unique practice schedule depending on the availability of their practice facility, but scheduling and attending practices according to an aggressive schedule will help to prepare your body. If your league has two practices a day, go to both. If possible, practice on consecutive days. Have your league schedule two to three practices over a weekend for the team preparing for tournament play. If these options are not available, I suggest cross training with running, soccer, plyometrics, footwork drills, weight training, etc.

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Rest can also be an important factor in preparing your body.

I like to fly or drive in AT LEAST the night before a tournament in order to adjust to the time difference and any environmental changes. Obviously, getting enough sleep is key to being well rested. At last yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Derby in Dairyland in Madison, I missed the thrilling second half of a late bout in favor of sleep. Although I missed some great derby and a chance to scout competitors, I was well rested for my early start time the next morning.

Also, take into consideration that our derby seasons are long.

Avoiding physical and mental burnout along with taking time to heal from injuries can be key to the longevity of our careers and competitive enthusiasm. mental preparation It all starts with the way you train. You will play like you practice.

Bouts are 60 minutes, but it takes mental fitness and different preparation to stay sharp when bouting more than once in a day.

Aggressive scheduling as suggested above will help to prepare and protect you. Mental fatigue can lead to receiving hits that you would normally like to avoid, not offering whips you normally give and not hitting the holes you normally hit. Simulating and replicating tournament fatigue will help you to keep it together when your mind wants to shut down. facility I swear there are no two identical floors in the derby world.

The surface should not be of great concern since both teams will have to skate the same floor, but it never hurts to be prepared.

If the floor that you will be skating on is drastically different than what you are used to practicing or bouting on, you may want to look into scheduling a practice at a facility that has a comparable floor to that which you are competing on. Skate court, wood, sport court, and cement are all different and call on you to use your muscles differently. This affects agility, muscle strength, fatigue, timing, etc. Get used to falling and getting up, jumping, striding through the turns, etc. At the very least, pick the brains of people that have skated the surface before to get recommendations on wheels or horror stories of the uneven floor on turn three.

diet I am not a dietician, but was raised with common sense – and my college soccer years were full of dieticians warning of the dangers of too much of a good thing. As always, remember to drink plenty of water. Soda and other sugary drinks make your body work hard to break down the sugars. You are what you eat. Don’t expect to get the best outta your body on day two or three if you munch on donuts between bouts. The right amount and balance of carbs, proteins and fats will fuel your body. Bring fruits, veggies and energy bars to the venue so that your only options are not hot dogs and nachos. recovery Two words: ICE BATH. As a collegiate soccer player going through two-a-days, we were not allowed to go back to our locker room without sitting in an ice bath first. They are horrible. They are painful. They work. Just like using an ice pack on a sore knee, ankle or hip – an ice bath helps to reduce inflammation and flush out metabolic debris but are longer lasting and more effective for deep tissues.

Cold water, a couple bags of ice and a bit of will power for 10-20 minutes will help. just say NO In 1999, the U.S. women’s national soccer team was not only training and preparing for the upcoming World Cup, but were faced with promoting and generating excitement for the launch of a professional league (WUSA). Team physicians and psychologists recognized the physical and emotional toll that interviews and promos could take on an athlete trying to achieve their peak physical performance.

The psychologists introduced the “no” card to the team.

This card served as a reminder for the athletes that they could bow out of non-mandatory interviews, promotions and watching games if it wouldn’t contribute positively to the team goal of winning the World Cup. How does this relate to derby? Watching bouts and cheering for your favorite team or player can be tiring.

If your body is telling you that you need rest, you probably need it. Work something out with your captains and team to share the “burden” of scouting and/or cheering.

MOST IMPORTANTLY Have fun. These tournaments are a blast, but making it to the afterparty on Sunday night takes more than just powering through the fatigue of skating multiple bouts. After all, most of us have jobs to do on Monday morning as well.

coach’s corner by coach pauly

know your roll

part 5: “WHAT’S NEXT?”

It’s bout night – the track has been laid, the chairs are set up, and the game is about to begin. The announcers introduce the teams and the first lineup hits the track.

The crowd goes nuts, the music blares, and the skater next to you just gave you the stink eye. Your blood is pumping; you have been practicing hard for this and think back to all of your planning. Strategy, drills, and teamwork have been tuned for this moment. The ref blows his whistle and your pack is moving. Suddenly, everything you planned turns to chaos... now is when you focus and start thinking, “What’s next?”

“What’s next” is a mantra that should be constantly rolling through your mind. It goes beyond the position that you are playing or the duty that is assigned. It is a simple notion that you are never finished with your job, be it offensive or defensive, until the jam is called. Our sport is unique in so many ways, but the one aspect that I feel is most crucial is that it flows and changes offensively and defensively with every movement in the pack – thus changing what’s next for you as well as your teammates.

You could be the four blocker in back – blocking and assisting your jammer through the pack, setting up assists, and immediately blocking out anyone that wants to reengage your jammer. Maybe you are the last skater in the front, keeping the opposing jammer from taking the inside and clearing the pack. It’s all about advancement, moving forward, and adapting to what the opposition is giving you. You must know when to flip the switch between offense and defense and turn on that light bulb inside you to light your way.

There are a few easy ways to pull it all together to find out what to do next. First: if you don’t know if the opposing jammer is on her scoring lap or still fighting her way through for the first time, look to the left and find her jam ref. What are his hands saying – lead jammer, points scored, no lead, what? This simple practice can dictate what your next steps will be. Knowing your role and communicating to your packmates will allow you to waterfall forward and position yourself to best fill the gaps. If all else fails, look for your nearest teammate and start working together. If you are not close enough to touch her, you are probably out of verbal range – tighten it up. Once you have your partner, adjust your inside/outside orientation so that it best suits your collective abilities; by that I mean don’t put yourself in a position that will take away from you or your partner’s strengths. It can be common to see a situation where the heavy hitter is handcuffed by a teammate that is between her and her target, negating her play. As always, when in doubt, knock her out!

I have been reviewing film from East Coast Derby Extravaganza, Nationals, and interleague bouts from around the country, and the common theme seems to be one team working together, forming strong walls and always knowing where they are on the track. On the flip side, you see their opposition frantically trying to find a way around that instead of settling down and becoming a collective unit focused on gaining advantage in the pack.

Roller derby is like chess – there are no secrets. It’s the same game with the same positions; how those positions work with each other is what makes one team better than another on any given bout night.

Till next time, see you on the track…

If you have any questions, comments or feedback please email me at derbywhisperer@gmail.com.

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 23

gear

breaking in new skates and choosing them in the first place I VA N N A S . PA N K I N ’ , S A N D I E G O D E R B Y D O L L S

Buying new skates can be a big commitment, especially when considering the boot. Without trying them on ahead of time, how can you tell what will fit best on your feet? Vendors can help you out with sizing, but you’re on your own to reach that nice broken-in feel once you purchase them. Read on to figure out what to expect from a new pair of skates (and what you shouldn’t be dealing with).

The first thing to consider is what kind of material you want your boots to be made of. If you are considering vinyl boots, they’re not going to break in much – vinyl is very flexible and is usually pretty comfortable right off the bat. If they’re not comfy, you probably have the wrong size! Rather than breaking in, however, they pretty much just break down. They’re great, but they don’t last long.

If you are considering leather boots, just know that there’s a big difference between U.S. made vs. Chinese-manufactured leather skates. I guess they don’t have a lot of cows in China?

The reason skates are made in China in the first place is so that they will be inexpensive, and in order to cut costs, they aren’t made with the same quality of materials and workmanship as their U.S. made counterparts. What this means is that you get your money’s worth – if you spend $100 on skates, you get $100 worth of skates.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, however. Sin City Skates recommends that new skaters start with good but inexpensive vinyl skates for a couple reasons: • Sadly, most new skaters find that derby is a very time-intensive sport. Not all women have the 6-20+ hours a week it can take to make attendance requirements and really excel in this sport, and therefore do not always stick around.

• As mentioned before, they are usually comfortable from the get-go.

• They’re set up for new skaters – inexpensive skates usually comprise of longer plates for more stability that are mounted in the center for a girl just getting her feet under her. This can be very helpful when you’re learning the basics of skating skills.

• They give you a season or so to figure out what you like. Take that time to figure out what kind of skates best suit you, what

24 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

wheels you like, what position you’re gonna play, etc.

• Finally, they make great outdoor skates when you’re ready to upgrade to better ones. Slap some softie wheels on them and you’re ready to go.

However, we also let girls know when they order $100 skates that they can’t count on longer than a year or full season out of them. It may be even less depending on how hard they are on them. We have a cub in our league who wanted on the team so bad she skated every single day and wore out a pair of GT-40s in two months. That’s unusual, and she’s a big girl skating very hard on them, but it’s not outside the realm of possibility.

Just remember, that’s the deal: cheap skates are cheap for a reason. Get them fitted right from day one because they don’t usually get MORE comfortable. Ask questions about the fit – tell the person you’re ordering from if you have wide feet or narrow, high arches, weird toes, whatever. Try on other girls’ skates (keeping in mind that they are bound to be busted if they’ve been skating in them for a while). Ask your teammates questions about their skates. Check out the roller_girls database for even more info on skates: groups.yahoo.com/group/roller_girls/database.

No matter what you get, it’s worth doing some research before you buy skates. A couple years ago you were screwed – a rollergirl had maybe a handful of people they could ask, and who knows if they’d get reliable advice. Now you have thousands of rollergirls who will be happy to offer advice and opinions on everything from new skates to the state of the bathrooms in Sudanese cafés. Take advantage of it!

As far as the fit goes, if your toes are curling, they’re too small.

If your foot moves in the toe box, you got them too big and/or wide. In both cases, you don’t need to break them in – you need to get properly fitting skates. Both too big and too small can cause painful foot cramps, blisters and worse, including permanent damage to your sweet, delicate little tootsies. Have you never spent $100 on stupid shoes you never wore? Almost everyone has made that mistake at one time or another. Well, shoes are one thing – most of us have more than one pair and can choose not to wear uncomfy ones. With skates, few of us are lucky enough to

have a closet full of them. So make sure you get the right size and if you didn’t, suck it up, sell them on Ebay, and try again!

We have some more info on getting a good fit here to help you out: sincityskates.com/2nd/about/sizing.html.

Now that you know what size you want, let’s just say you can afford U.S. made leather skates, and you’re not interested in waiting a year to determine what you want. There are several really good models that work well for derby. But if you are a BEGINNING skater, there’s something you should know about getting good skates: they’re engineered for advanced skaters.

By that I mean they were engineered to support you for miles on a track, going fast and turning left. They have extra interior support on the left side of each skate where you’re leaning, pushing and stressing that leather and the connection between the leather and the sole. It’s called a counter, and in U.S. made Riedell skates it is actually a really cool piece of engineering. If you know anyone with 122/125, 265 or 685/595 skates, ask them to let you feel them up. That stiff piece from about the inside ankle around the back to the other side (different on the best skates from right to left skate) is the counter.

The counter is a piece of perforated support between the inner and outer soles of leather on the skates. It allows the insoles and outsoles to be made with very high quality, soft leather, and prevents the boots from losing their shape when they get broken in. It supports your foot, arch, and heel, and prevents your heel from rolling out.

It also prevents rookie skaters from comfortably skating upright. In my opinion, as a team captain and trainer, that’s

a good thing. You’ve heard your coach say it 1000 times: “Bend your knees!” and “Stay low!” Well, advanced skates are made for skaters who do bend their knees and stay low. So if you DON’T bend your knees and skate low, not only will you: • get knocked on your ass easier, • lose your balance easier, • drag more air when you’re trying to sprint, • fall harder, • have more trouble handing out good hits, etc. – this could be a very long list, but you get the picture...

Well, not only all the above, but your new skates will also poke you in the Achilles tendon, and it will hurt. That’s because advanced skaters lean, and you aren’t leaning!

People ask us all the time how to break in their skates faster because they hurt their Achilles tendon. We try to be polite about it because we don’t want to assume you’re a rookie or you’re skating tall, but that is usually the case. So here’s how to make them stop hurting you: BEND YOUR KNEES. If you are particularly stubborn about skating tall, or you are skating low and they still poke you, the next thing to try is leather conditioner – the stuff baseball players use to break in a new glove. But don’t just rub it in; bend the

leather back and forth. And if any part of the counter is bothering your ankle or foot, remember, it’s perforated. The more you work it back and forth, the softer it will get and the less it will poke you.

If your skates are pinching where your toes meet your foot, I’ve heard a lot of advice for that, including putting a water bottle in them and leaving them in a hot car. You can also take them to a cobbler to stretch the places they’re tight.

With a little bit of tough love, your new skates should fit like a glove once they’ve broken in. It may be hard to give in to the fact that you’ve bought the wrong pair of skates if they are still causing you woes after a significant amount of time, but that’s why its important to ask lots of questions while making your purchase. Let your skates work with you, not against you!

astle

Jim C

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 25

gear

how to keep your bearings 8 - BA L L , M I N N E S OTA R O L L E R G I R L S

Skate bearings are arguably the most overlooked and undervalued piece of equipment in a skater’s arsenal of gear. This fact has been consistently driven home to me when a skater asks for help with their wheels, citing that they just can’t seem to get the bearings out of their wheels. “When is the last time you cleaned your bearings?” The skater replies, “Never.” This then usually explains why the bearings have completely bonded with the aluminum hub of their skate wheel. Sigh... such abuse.

Clean bearings are an essential part of your monthly skate maintenance.

Yes, I said monthly. Stop grumbling, and just listen. Most leagues practice a minimum of three days a week, for two to three hour sessions. At the end of a month, you will have accumulated 18-36 hours of heavy use, dirt, dust and those really long strands of hair that no one seems to know where they came from. This build up of dirt increases the friction inside your bearings, and thus requires more energy to expel to sprint and maintain your speed. Clean bearings will mean faster speeds with less energy spent to maintain those speeds. You will notice that fresh bearings never spin too well. This is due to them being packed with grease at the time of manufacture. This initial grease will break down rather rapidly as the bearing is broken in. During this time you will notice that the bearing spins rather freely. Once the bearing is broken in, it is important to start regular maintenance to keep your bearings in top condition.

So how do you do it?

First, NEVER clean your bearings while they are still seated in your wheels. Grease and dirt can easily be transferred from your bearings to the tread areas of your wheels which can damage your wheels and/or significantly alter your wheel’s grip.

Removal of bearings from some wheels can be a pain in the arse. Some wheels tend to be tricky due to their unusually tight bearing seats. Those skating on wheels that are difficult to get bearings into would do themselves a favor by investing in a bearing puller. A puller will assist you not only in the removal of the bearings from your wheels, but also in putting them back in, which is another task that can be equally frustrating – more on that later.

If you do not have a bearing puller, here is a “Field Expedient” method for bearing removal.

Remove your wheel from your plate. Looking down at your bearing, the hole where the axel of your plate slides through is the center hub. Insert a long stemmed Allen Wrench into this hole,

26 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

touching the center hub of the rear bearing, tap firmly (but not too hard) on the other bearing, and tap it out. BE SURE TO ONLY TAP ON THE CENTER HUB AREA. Tapping on the dust cover or bearings themselves will cause damage to your bearings that cannot be repaired.

Once you have removed one of the bearings, removal of the other will be a snap.

Once your bearings are removed from your wheels, you can begin to clean them. Cleaning of your bearings can be done several ways. There are bearing cleaning devices that allow you to place your bearings into a cup, fill with solvent and shake until clean.

Other ways to clean bearings are by using aerosol spray-applied solvents to help force out the dirt. Use compressed air to help get all of the solvents and dirt out. Then apply a light coating of oil – just enough to coat the balls lightly.

Once your bearings are clean, spin them between your index finger and thumb until you see that all excess solvents and lubricants have been expelled. Then it’s time to reseat your bearings into your wheels. For those without a bearing press, here is the trick that I use to seat bearings into tricky wheels.

Seat the rear bearing first. This may take some coaxing with GENTLE and even tapping on the bearing. Again, be sure NOT to tap on the dust shields or bearing themselves.

Once the rear bearing is seated, place the wheel on your axel and spin the wheel as hard as you can. While the wheel is spinning, drop the second bearing onto the axel of the spinning wheel. This will help evenly seat the bearing onto the wheel. If the bearing will only seat part way, check to see if the bearing is seated flat. If not, repeat this step.

If the bearing is flat, but will not seat all the way down with just finger pressure, take your wheel nut and start to screw the nut onto your axel. Slowly tighten the nut. This action will gently force the bearing into place. Tighten the nut all the way onto your truck, and then back off the nut to allow the wheel to spin freely. (note this method will not work for Roll Line plates or any partially threaded axels.)

So now you know how to remove/replace and clean bearings, do you know how to select a set that works for you? Do you need to spend that 160 dollars on Swiss Ceramics... maybe not.

There are several types of ceramic bearings on the market today. They can basically be lumped into two materials used to make the ball bearings: Silicone Nitride and Zirconium Oxide.

The Silicone Nitride, which happens to be Swiss Ceramics, are used almost exclusively by every speed skater I know. I have skated both the Silicone Nitride-Swiss Ceramics and the Zirconium Oxide Ceramics that are made by VXB. Though some have claimed that the VXB brand will not hold up to derby, the testing that I have personally seen has shown the opposite results. I have seen Swiss Ceramics seize – way to go Suzi Smashbox – and the VXB bearing going strong after two years (also not that these are the only Swiss Ceramic bearing that I have ever heard/seen that have failed).

The price of a VXB ceramics – 70 dollars, Swiss Ceramics – 160.

You be the judge.

There is a FULL Ceramic bearing that is in production, but with a price tag of 50 dollars a bearing, (yes.. That is 800 dollars a set) the reports on performance do not seem to justify the hefty price tag.

Outside of the ceramics debate, are a list of other quality bearings that continue to expand on a daily basis: • Ninja Ceramics • Bones Super Swiss 6 • Super Reds • Boss Swiss One thing to remember is NOT to get caught up in the “ABEC rating” numbers. ABEC is a rating that one bearing manufacturer gives to their bearings. This rating is NOT compared with other bearings so please understand that an ABEC 9 rated bearing may not roll as well as a Boss Swiss.

Costs of most commonly used bearings range from 20 dollars to 80 dollars a set. There are also some old school bearings that have to be brought in for SERIOUS consideration. The quality of bearings that were released in the mid to late 80s are of a quality unseen by ALL of today’s standards.

At the top of that list is Fafnir. The 8-Ball – Fafnir KC7 remains the quintessential speed bearing, and highly coveted among quad gear geeks, like myself. Other honorable mentions are the Fafnir 7-Ball JAP 2-piece, NSK, Labeda Super Bearings and the Germany SKA skate bearings... just to name a few.

So, how does one decide what bearings to choose from?

I feel the best approach is to follow your budget and then your heart. The China Red bearings, though they are inexpensive, are a surprisingly fast (and loud) bearing. Those skating the 8mm axels of the Reactor or Dyna-Pro plates would be well served with the Bones Super Swiss 6 bearings. While those that want EVERY advantage offered, may opt for the Swiss or VXB ceramic or even, try to locate a set of Fafnir 8-Balls. What is MOST important to remember, is that proper maintenance of your bearings is the key. Regular cleaning will go along way to protecting your investments in quad skate gear and save you from costly replacements. So, go clean your bearings and save your cash for that next set of wheels!

wftda

WFTDA annual conference L O R N A B O O M , R AT C I T Y R O L L E R G I R L S

TampCon 2009 The Tampa Bay Derby Darlin’s graciously hosted the WFTDA’s fifth Annual Conference at the Sheraton Riverwalk hotel in Tampa, FL over the Memorial weekend. With over 200 representatives and referees from nearly every member league, the 2009 conference hosted the largest number of attendees to date. Reflecting the vast growth of WFTDA membership since its inception, the majority of attendees were first-timers to a WFTDA Conference.

Joining representatives in Tampa was newly hired WFTDA Executive Director, Juliana Gonzales, also known as Bloody Mary of the Texas Rollergirls. Though the conference occurred prior to Bloody’s official July first start date, she chose to attend in order to get a handle on current challenges and to connect with members in order to brainstorm solutions to those challenges. An experienced nonprofit executive and a proven leader, Bloody described her new role to members and encouraged representatives to contact her with concerns and goals; “I may be the captain of this ship... but you have the map. Tell me where you wanna go.” growing like a shade tree “Where we wanna go” was integral to the entire conference.

While representatives had time to visit with folks they mostly interact with online, lounge poolside and attend Tampa Bay Derby Darlin’ scheduled social events (including a Cuban dinner and a pub crawl in nearby Ybor City), member representatives gave up their holiday weekend to roll up their proverbial sleeves and work their asses off. Shifting organizational focus towards the member-identified goal to “Grow Like a Shade Tree,” WFTDA Board of Directors and meeting planners scheduled 60 hours of meeting time for committees and representatives, nearly half of which were dedicated to addressing operational challenges, functional reorganization and the future goals and objectives of the organization.

Shade trees don’t grow without developing a solid root foundation and it was with this objective in mind that the WFTDA Board of Directors proposed an organizational restructure to members in order to create a more clearly

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defined hierarchical system by expanding executive level management and implementing a senior level management tier. TampCon attendees worked with Directors to identify Pillar Officers [Chief Administration Officer, Harley Quinn (Boston Derby Dames); Chief Games Officer, Grace Killy (Brewcity Bruisers) and Chief Marketing Officer, Chica Loca (Sacred City Derby Girls)] and further shuffled committees within each of the existing pillars into better defined departments. The goal of the new structure is to ensure that all areas of the organization are functioning, that our projects are managed efficiently and that we are maintaining a high level of transparency, in line with our core values of democracy and equality.

In addition to the proposed reorganization, the Board of Directors identified “Pink Elephant” (in the room!) topics in each of the organizations pillars based on challenges identified in the pre-conference vision polling completed by member leagues.

Large chunks of time were set aside to address these Pink Elephant topics and all representatives were encouraged to attend each of these sessions in addition to committee breakout sessions. administration WFTDA’s Administration Pillar focused their efforts on a number of membership topics, including member satisfaction, growth, close-proximity member league market share issues, and a review of membership requirements. Vision polling and straw polls at TampCon indicated that WFTDA membership is generally satisfied with the existing membership requirements and benefits, but the administration committees made gains towards tweaking existing policy, better defining relevant terms, and proposing guidelines for addressing proximity issues and member grievances. A major TampCon milestone for the Administration Pillar was the finalization of the new WFTDA Apprentice program which rolled out on July first and is structured to match leagues applying for membership with “mentor” members to help them learn about the organization and assist with general derby-related concerns. The program has been designed to manage WFTDA membership growth,

improve the content of outreach efforts to better assist newly joined member leagues, reduce the outreach burden on existing member leagues in saturated regions, and provide opportunities for more meaningful application requirements.

Way to go, Admin! games The Games Pillar Committees tackled possible changes to the current ranking system that would result in a more meaningful, subjective system of ranking WFTDA chartered teams and revisited the concept of playing divisions. Representatives contributed a number of ranking and division options for consideration and committees continue to research and develop comprehensive systems post-TampCon that can be maintained long term. Another project fleshed out at TampCon is the new WFTDA Games Review Panel made up of skater reps from each region and the Games Committee to independently review suspension recommendations and challenged game sanctions.

Members of the panel will be voted in by the WFTDA membership, and will work with the WFTDA Grievance committee to develop good process to research and come to decisions about games issues.

Games Pillar’s Referee Committee made spectacular progress at TampCon as well, electing new representatives for the West Region (Hunter Stompson, B.A.D. Girls) and the South Central Region (Pallbearer, Atlanta Rollergirls), adding skaters to the committee leadership [Diva Negativa (B.A.D. Girls), Smarty McFly (Arch Rival Roller Girls), Phearless Diller (Jet City Roller Girls), Betty Bonecrusher (Steel City Derby Demons) and Jailbreak Jenny (Derby City Derby Girls)] and collaborating with the Rules and Referee Certification Committees to develop a referee instructor program, referee training materials and clinics for implementation across the derby world. marketing The Marketing Pillar, with guidance from the new Chief Marketing Officer, underwent a vast structure overhaul and revitalization at TampCon. Marketing Committees and their broader scope goals and objectives were clearly

defined and include continued website development, public relations and outreach to WFTDA member leagues, improved tournament marketing and sponsorship, and a campaign to align the “Whip It” movie with WFTDA by making sure movie-goers think “WFTDA” when they think roller derby.

In keeping with the goals to provide public relations and marketing outreach to member leagues and in anticipation of post “Whip It” movie excitement for the sport of roller derby, the Marketing and PR Committees formulated ideas for member leagues to help promote the film’s release. In the months since TampCon, WFTDA Marketing presented workshops in conjunction with Fox Searchlight at RollerCon and continues to work on crosspromotional efforts with the film company.

WFTDA members and fans can also look forward to new merchandise designs and expanded purchasing opportunities, including RollerCon, Tournaments, and online. a job well done It is nearly impossible to capture all of the good work that occurred at TampCon in 2009. While representatives (this one included) made efforts to attend as many meeting sessions as possible, it just can’t be done. WFTDA’s Annual Conference is by equal measures inspiring and exhausting. The 2009 Board of Directors’ initiated focus on process and structure brought all representatives together to build the foundation upon which we will nurture the shade tree that the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association is becoming.

From the bottom of my inspired heart; thanks and kudos to the Tampa Bay Derby Darlins’ for hosting the best WFTDA Annual Conference yet, Tampa Darlins’ Sasha Haughtbitch and Rojo Grande for taking the lead, and to the WFTDA Board of Directors for conceptualizing such an awesome meeting of the derby minds!

2009-2010 WFTDA Board of Directors are President, Crackerjack (Texas Rollergirls); Vice President, The Ruffian (Dominion Girls); Past President, Hydra (Texas Rollergirls); Secretary, Miss Jane RedRum (Ft. Wayne Derby Girls); and Treasurer, Loco Chanel (Windy City Rollers). The Ruffian and Loco Chanel were re-elected to their Board positions at TampCon and will serve another two years or until they drop!

Thank you ladies!

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 29

wftda

Greetings from the new WFTDA office!

I have always looked forward to the WFTDA annual meeting. The chance to finally see the faces of online colleagues, the opportunity to push forward on the big decisions and have live debate, the scrimmage, the pub crawl, and the little gifts from our president are a huge part of keeping our volunteer organization fresh and inspired. This year’s annual meeting was especially inspirational for me, as it was my introduction to the membership as WFTDA’s first-ever Executive Director. Thank you for your warm welcome.

Many of you know me as Bloody Mary, a skater for Texas Rollergirls since its formation in 2003. Until accepting the Executive Director position, I also served as captain of our travel team and served on the Board for Texas Rollergirls. I’ve had many opportunities to work for the WFTDA over the years, often serving as a league representative, hosting the first National Championship WFTDA Tournament in 2007, and working to develop the first set of standard WFTDA rules. Seven years as a skater prior to becoming staff has given me a deep and personal understanding of our guiding philosophy: By the Skaters, for the Skaters.

Professionally, I am delighted to be returning to association management.

After graduating from the University of Arizona in 2000, my first job was as staff for a membership organization that served graduate-level urban planning programs. I learned a lot about serving diverse programs to reach their shared goals, and about the magic that happens when people are volunteering for an organization they love. In the years since, I have been working in healthcare administration in a variety of settings, most recently directing a clinic program that serves uninsured, Spanish-speaking immigrants.

I am so eager and excited to call all these experiences into service for the WFTDA and its members.

WFTDA’s Executive Director position is part of a much larger organizational restructure initiated by our Board of Directors in 2008. It became apparent to our Board that the organization was outgrowing its own resources in terms of size and scope, and the effect was sort of like a rollercoaster picking up speed too fast for the rails it was built on. The Board came before the membership and posed the question: “Should we prune the WFTDA to be like a bonsai (small and precisely limited) or grow the WFTDA like a shade tree (expansive and well-supported)?” After extensive discussion, in an almost unanimous result, the membership decided in favor smart growth, and the WFTDA office was born. I am now the arborist to our shade tree.

We have an exciting year ahead of us as we watch how our new division into four regions – North Central, South Central, West, and East – plays out for five full production tournaments in the fall. Our membership, now at 77 leagues across the U.S. and Canada, will continue to grow as we reopen the application process this summer and place leagues into the new Apprentice Program. Ref certification and training are poised to launch efforts in education and evaluation of referees; the timing couldn’t be better as we now have over 50 certified referees and are preparing for our first ever annual renewal of certifications. We’ll shine a bright spotlight on ourselves in every area of our organization, and ensure that members are receiving real benefits via training, resources, and collaboration. I’ll be getting a handle on our business models and processes, laying down some track in front of our speeding rollercoaster so we don’t go off the rails.

I am looking forward to a great future for WFTDA and women’s roller derby. Your questions, comments or suggestions are always welcome and encouraged. Please contact me directly at (512) 587-1859, or via email at juliana@wftda.com, if I can provide any assistance to you through the WFTDA. Best, Juliana Gonzales Aka Bloody Mary

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Hello from your new insurance administrator!

I’m relatively new to roller derby, but my skating experience began early in life. At five years old, I remember strapping skates on over my shoes – the old school type, with metal wheels, and thinking life couldn’t get any better. Fortunately, skates have vastly improved and life got a lot better. In my early teens, I took up freestyle figure skating, so I was somewhat accustomed to the bumps, bruises and injuries one encounters in skating sports.

I joined roller derby last year, after my twin sister became a Salt City Derby Girl.

I was intrigued. But after participating in several practices, and witnessing a particularly nasty broken leg incident, I decided I was better suited to be a referee. I am both proud and excited to skate with the Salt City Derby Girls under the pseudonym Toss’er Assout.

I’m inspired by the camaraderie within roller derby, and I love the fact that a sport dominated by women continues to grow, both in size and in popularity.

Though new to roller derby, I bring 13 years of insurance administration experience and 15 years of project management experience to the insurance administrator position.

I have also worked with various nonprofit organizations, both as a volunteer and serving on various board positions. My most challenging experience was a two-year stint abroad in Russia, where I volunteered at a children’s hospital in the HIV ward. My limited grasp of the Russian language made it extremely difficult, but it was also an extremely rewarding experience.

And now I work for the WFTDA! How cool is that? My new job is a contrast. Roller derby is an exciting and dynamic sport that people are eager to discuss and be involved in. Admittedly, insurance falls at the opposite end of the spectrum; no one likes to talk about it, think about it, or hear about it. Yet it’s absolutely essential to roller derby. For me, even one uninsured or under-insured skater is too many. I would never advise anyone to skate without adequate insurance coverage. Yet we don’t want to be an exclusionary sport. My goal is to provide options. It’s an enormous challenge, I know.

In the coming months, we hope to offer solutions that will have a positive impact to the sport, increase coverage options while limiting liabilities, as well as provide solutions for those who may hesitate to skate as a result of inadequate insurance coverage. I’m excited about the prospects before us. From a claims standpoint, I’m not anxious to work with anyone (obviously!), but from an insurance solutions standpoint, I’m very excited to hear from you! I’m also happy to answer questions, address concerns, and listen to your comments and suggestions regarding insurance. And of course, I’ll address your claims issues!

Contact me at (512) 484-4215 or via email at insurance@wftda.com.

Warm Regards, Shelli Wiggins aka Toss’er Assout

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 31

jrda

fort wayne derby brats’ first bout The Fort Wayne Derby Brats of Fort Wayne, Indiana, began practicing in January 2009, with approximately ten skaters ranging in age from 8 to 14.

“Marketing the league with no funds was a large feat at first,” says Tonya Vojtkofsky, founder of the Brats. “We started with the typical Myspace page, a tryout flier for the kids to hand out to friends and leave at the rink where we practice, an ad in a community magazine and word of mouth.”

To date, the Fort Wayne Derby Brats has developed two home teams and hopes to create a travel team for the 2010 season.

Vojtkofsky says, “We began the league by teaching the girls basic derby/skating skills and also implementing game play and rules at the end of each practice.

We set a date for our first and only bout of the season ddproshots.com to coincide with a Fort Wayne Derby Girls charity bout. Because of the time it took to develop the league and skating skills, we had to manipulate the rules. We played two 15 minute periods. For every penalty a blocker/jammer created, points were taken away from the jammer’s score after the two-minute jam. Lead jammer was established, but each jam ran for two minutes.

After each jam, the jam ref calculated points versus penalties

32 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

with the pack refs and then communicated it to the stats person working the scoreboard. We are going to teach and play the current WFTDA rules for our 2010 season with four home games and hopefully a third home team, depending on tryouts this August. We’ll be looking for a team to come and play our Brats at the Fort Wayne Derby Girls May Roll 2010, a 16-team tournament that will take place on May 8th.”

Here’s what a few girls had to say about their first bout experience: Trademark, a.k.a. Tessa Marshall, age 11, has been to almost every FWDG game since May 2006, with the exception of two bouts.

She was one of the first Fort Wayne Derby Brats.

She says, “The first derby Brats’ bout was fun, exciting and exhausting.

All team members tried their best.

Everyone won because they worked hard. The tickets that were sold went to charity. The crowd was making me nervous. I am sure that all the Brats can’t wait till the new season to start.”

Clair Voyant, a.k.a. Whitley Roy, age 13, says, “I loved the feel of the spotlight on me. I love the wind rushing by as I’m jamming!”

Fort Wayne Derby Brats season will begin in January 2010.

rookie

WFTDA minimum skills requirements Every WFTDA member league intending to play a WFTDA-sanctioned interleague bout must ensure that each skater playing meets the skill requirements listed below. A designated league member - the head of the training/coaching committee, travel team captain, or other league official - must sign off on each skater's individual assessment sheet. Skaters must be assessed prior to their first interleague competition and re-assessments must be done at least annually thereafter. WFTDA leagues must maintain signed records of their rostered skaters' successful testing and be able to provide these records to the WFTDA upon request.

1 BASIC SKATING SKILLS The skater must demonstrate proficiency in the following areas: 1.1 Skating Posture 1.1.1 Bends at knees and hips with shoulders back 1.1.2 Swings arms fluidly 1.2 Stride 1.2.1 Has steady, confident, fluid strides 1.2.2 Uses both feet to push forward on straightaways 1.3 Crossovers 1.3.1 Performs smooth crossovers while skating at a brisk pace going into and coming out of turns 1.3.2 Uses both feet to push during crossovers 1.4 Speed and Endurance 1.4.1 Skates 25 laps around regulation track within five minutes (based on WFTDA regulation track) 1.5 Stops Skater must come to a complete stop from a brisk pace, using proper form and without losing her balance.

Must be able to complete both stops effectively.

1.5.1 T-Stop 1.5.2 Plow Stop

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1.6 Other skills 1.6.1 Performs one-foot glides with each foot for the length of the straightaway with good balance.

1.6.1.1 Skater must be in derby stance with one foot completely off the floor 1.6.1.2 Skater maintains sufficient speed and does not flail limbs 1.6.2 Has the ability to propel self while keeping all eight wheels on the floor 1.6.3 Can move easily and fluidly from one side of the skating lane to the other 1.6.3.1 Can perform smooth quick cuts, crossing the track at least three times on each straightaway and twice on each turn

3 BALANCE/AGILITY Skater must demonstrate the ability to perform the following tasks without losing her balance or falling.

2 FALLS Skater must perform the following falls safely, correctly, and naturally.

3.1 Stepping from a standstill 3.1.1 Forward and backward 3.1.2 Side to side in both directions

2.1 Single Knee Falls 2.1.1 Left 2.1.2 Right 2.1.3 Recovers from each fall without using hands to get up 2.1.4 Skater is able to return to active skating within two seconds

3.2 Squatting Skater achieves a 90 to 120 degree angle at the knee during each squat.

Feet and knees are hip width or wider.

Eyes look forward, chest is out and back is flat.

3.2.1 Squats and coasts through the entire straightaway and turn 3.2.2 Squats and propels self on straightaways and around turns

2.2 Double Knee Falls 2.2.1 Skater is able to return to active skating within two seconds

2.3 Figure 4/Baseball Slide 2.3.1 Both legs stay on or near the ground during the fall 2.3.2 Skater is able to return to active skating within three seconds 2.4 180 Degree Turn Single Knee Fall 2.4.1 Exhibits control to complete the fall in exact opposite direction 2.4.2 Skater is able to return to active skating within two seconds 2.5 Four point fall 2.5.1 Hands are kept in front of the body, fingers closed into fists 2.5.2 Skater is able to return to active skating within two seconds

Steve Mancini

3.3 Hopping 3.3.1 Hops over an object at least three inches in height without touching the object or losing balance while skating at a moderate pace 3.3.1.1 Skaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feet must leave the ground simultaneously, then land simultaneously 3.3.2 Skater hops from one foot to the other while moving forward 3.4 Focus 3.4.1 Can look left, right, and behind quickly and unexpectedly while maintaining regular skating stride at a moderate pace 3.5 Weaving 3.5.1 Maneuvers through 10 cones placed six feet apart, covering both straightaways and turns 4 SKATING WITH OTHERS Skater must demonstrate the ability to perform the following skills legally and safely while skating at a moderate pace.

4.1 Whips 4.1.1 Giving whips 4.1.1.1 Giving inside whip 4.1.1.2 Giving outside whip 4.1.2 Receiving whips 4.1.2.1 Receiving inside whip 4.1.2.2 Receiving outside whip 4.1.3 Hip whips 4.1.3.1 Giving hip whips 4.1.3.2 Receiving hip whips

4.2 Pushes 4.2.1 Giving pushes 4.2.2 Receiving pushes 4.3 Pacing 4.3.1 Skater adjusts to the variable speeds (decrease/increase) of a paceline, while maintaining an arms length distance between herself and the skaters in front of and behind her without falling, tripping, overtaking or running into another skater.

4.4 Weaving Around Moving Obstacles 4.4.1 Demonstrates weaving through a single-file line of moving skaters who are each an armâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s length apart.

4.5 Unexpected Obstacles 4.5.1 Skating within a pack of at least four other skaters who fall in front of the skater at various unexpected times. Skater must deal with the fallen skaters by avoiding or safely falling without hurting self or the fallen skater, and without causing an unnecessary hazard for any of the pack skaters.

4.6 Leaning 4.6.1 Skates while leaning shoulder to shoulder with another skater while maintaining an upright position and propulsion without tripping, falling, or becoming unsteady.

4.7 Bumping 4.7.1 Maintains or recovers balance, without falling, while being bumped into and having wheels bumped by other skaters.

5 BLOCKING Skater must demonstrate the ability to perform the following skills legally and safely while skating at a moderate pace.

5.1 Taking Hits 5.1.1 Responds safely (without flailing or grabbing other skaters; if falling, she falls safely, accurately, and small, without sprawling unnecessarily, and with two to four second recoveries) to repeated heavy hip checks and shoulder checks.

5.1.2 Demonstrates the above in a pack situation, without causing an unnecessary hazard for pack skaters.

5.2 Positional Blocking/Frontal Blocking/Stall Blocking 5.2.1 Performs with good posture and without loss of balance or focus 5.3 Checks Performs checks with legal body parts delivered within legal blocking zones with moderate to heavy force while skating at a brisk pace.

5.3.1 Hip checks 5.3.1.1 Left hip 5.3.1.2 Right hip 5.3.2 Shoulder checks 5.3.2.1 Left shoulder 5.3.2.2 Right shoulder

In addition to the above skills, the skater must pass a v4.0 rules test. The minimum required score to pass the rules test is 85% (six incorrect answers).

For the complete test, go to wftda.com fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 35

rookie

developing a mentor program for your league Developing a mentor program is a good way to help ensure that suggest when they may or may not individually be ready new recruits stick around and get the most out of your league. for their test.

With a mentor program, leagues are able to help new recruits what a mentor isn’t feel welcome by supplying a veteran skater for each newbie The mentor program can involve as much personal attention to approach with any questions or advice. The eventual goal that the veteran skater feels is necessary or appropriate, of this program is to prepare new recruits for their skills test but the aiding league member should not feel burdened or with the individual support of a veteran skater to push them overwhelmed by their new skater. It is best to use mentors that and help them out, be it with skating, are willing to participate in the program rules, league questions, or anything else “Our mentor program has helped and who will have an invested interest fresh meat could possibly want to in new league members – while it seems me immensely as a skater and know. The mentor should be invested that the majority of skaters should feel league member. It is difficult to in the success of her new recruit and this way, be realistic about a veteran’s jump into something, knowing no should be comfortable enough with her abilities to take on a newbie. If she own role in the league to help her fresh one and attempting to become the simply has too much on her plate or just meat with basic skating skills, league isn’t the newbie-loving type, reconsider best athlete you can. My mentor policies and the ins and outs of joining pairing her with a fresh meat skater. was the best support system the wonderful world of derby.

Mentors should encourage their make me a match newbies to come to as many practices I could have had during my up To make pairing newbies with veteran and events as possible, and may and coming derby career. I could skaters easier, consider creating consider meeting up with their protégé not have done it without her!” a simple survey to distribute to each for extra skating time, a crash course on Ca$$hole program participant. Find out more rules, or just a few casual hours outside Rocky Mountain Rollergirls about your new recruits as well as your of derby getting to know each other. veterans by asking questions such as why they joined derby, While a mentor should do whatever she reasonably can to what they do for a living, whether or not they have any children, encourage her new recruit, it’s understandable that derby isn’t etc. Then use this information to pair mentors with their new for everyone. Mentors should recognize when to keep protégés, keeping both skating goals and personality traits encouraging their newbie, but should not feel entirely in mind. responsible for their retention – if your newbie realizes that what a mentor is the track isn’t the place for them, don’t forget to suggest The job of the mentor is to help the new skater as much volunteering as a way to stay involved with the league! as possible by supplying them with information on how your A mentor program will most likely help your leagues overall league works as well as preparing them for their eventual retention rate. It is easier to commit to the time required from skills test. Mentors should do everything they can to assist derby and continue to push yourself as an athlete when their new recruit in all areas of being a league member: as you consistently have someone cheering in your corner a skater, a league member and a team player. Mentors should and believing in you. be encouraged to evaluate their fresh meat’s skating progress It is difficult to jump into an established community such each month so the new skater knows their strengths and as a roller derby league as a new member, especially without weaknesses, and also so the trainers administering the skills knowing anyone. A mentor can be the best support system test have another set of eyes focusing on each newbie to a new skater can have.

36 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

anyone can play derby SLEEZECAKE, ROCKFORD RAGE

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of it, you’re going to be soaked in sweat, you’ll smell like your skate bag and you might be able to fry an egg on your face from all the heat you’ve generated, but it will be worth it. The first time you break through that endurance wall and realize you skated the whole drill without sitting down, even if you weren’t the fastest girl on the track, you’re going to feel like you’ve conquered the world.

It may take you longer than it takes someone else – it took me four months of three practices a week before I was ready to bout. It broke my heart every time someone came into the league after me and got to bout before I did, but instead of letting it stop me, I ratcheted up my competitive spirit and told myself the next girl who comes in after me isn’t going to beat me to the track. A few still did, but not all of them.

So if you’re willing to skate until you throw up and then get up and do it again, you’re going to make it. If you are willing to work, push yourself and fight that voice inside you that says you don’t deserve to be in roller derby because you’re too slow/fat/ uncoordinated/whatever, you will make it. Before you know it, you’ll be knocking chicks into the air and clearing a path two skaters wide for your jammer to sneak through. And maybe someday, like I did, you’re going to find yourself wearing the jammer panty, watching the referee point to you and signal not only lead jammer, but your first-ever grand slam. Talk about conquering the world! ©Colin whims Johnson (co hot.com linj@gm ail.c

Have you ever seen the movie “Rudy” with Sean Astin starring as the title character? All Rudy ever wanted to do was play football for Notre Dame even though he was too small, no good at football and didn’t have the grades. That’s kind of how my roller derby career started out. I was nearly 300 pounds, completely non-athletic and hadn’t been on skates since they had Care Bears on the boots and little yarn pompoms on the toe. But I had the same thing Rudy had in that movie: I wanted it so badly, I was willing to do whatever it took to get where I wanted to be. To those women who want to be roller derby skaters but don’t think they can do it – for whatever reason – I’m living proof that you absolutely can.

The trick is not to think, “I want to do this,” but instead, “I am going to do this, no matter how long it takes me.”

And you have to accept, if only for a moment, whatever limitations you bring to the game. For me, endurance was a huge factor. OK, when you’re as big as a recliner, of course endurance is going to be an issue. I hated having to skate the long, hard drills, and I often had to drop out to catch my breath.

I felt as though every girl who whizzed past me while I trundled along, red faced and wheezing, thought to herself, “Why doesn’t that polar bear get off the track and sit in the stands where she belongs?” But they weren’t. God love ‘em, those skinny bitches were actually encouraging and supportive – if they hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have stuck around. So, to the rest of you skinny broads out there, whenever you see one of us bruisers lagging behind in an endurance drill, just a quick couple of words of encouragement reminds us that you know we’re as valuable to the game as everyone else. I mean, where would your defense be without a couple of thugs in the pack to break up walls and knock blockers out of the way like a gorgeous wrecking ball?

To become that gorgeous wrecking ball, however, you’re going to have to work. You’re going to have to skate past the point when you’re a little winded and reach that horrifying territory where you start to sweat and wonder whether or not you’re going to throw up; when your back starts to twinge and your knees cry for mercy, you’re just going to have to take a breath and dig a little deeper and keep pushing. That’s your job – nobody can do that part for you, no matter how much encouragement and support they throw your way. At the end

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feature

rollercon 2009 Over 1000 roller derby skaters, refs, coaches, and fans travelled to Las Vegas from all over the world to attend derby’s biggest event of the year, RollerCon, July 29th-August 2nd. This year’s RollerCon was dramatically overhauled in response to suggestions from attendees of previous RollerCons.

Ivanna S. Pankin and her crew worked tirelessly to make the fifth RollerCon the most action-packed yet.

One of biggest changes to RollerCon 2009 included an air-conditioned track and vendor village at the Las Vegas Sports Center. RollerCon 2009 also beefed up training and seminars by offering 75 off-skates seminars and over 90 training classes from 45 coaches. There were more than 50 vendors and 250 volunteers. The welcome banquet, the Black N’ Blue Ball, Fremont Street challenges, open scrimmages, and the Derby Wedding continued to be staples of the RollerCon experience. The Boston Derby Dames defeated the Bay Area Derby Girls 129-58 in a featured WFTDA sanctioned bout.

RollerCon 2009 attendees were more diverse than ever. There were both more international skaters and more male skaters than in pervious years. Canada, Australia, and the UK each had large numbers of skaters present.

Planning for next year’s RollerCon is already in the works – mark your calendars for July 28thAugust 1st, 2010. Ivanna S. Pankin mentioned some ideas regarding next year, including looking into a different hotel that is closer to skating venues, air-conditioned shuttle buses, quicker registration, and, most exciting of all: cheaper tickets!

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Brian J. Macke

Brian J. Macke

Brian J. Macke

© Derek Lang BAGELHOT.com

Brian J. Macke

© Derek Lang BAGELHOT.com

Marcus T. Carcass

© Derek Lang BAGELHOT.com

Brian J. Macke

Marcus T. Carcass

Marcus T. Carcass

robot chicken!

NERD RAGE, SLAUGHTER COUNTY ROLLER VIXENS

I could imagine the headlines, “Derby Girl Hospitalizes Robot Chicken Crew.” Having known the gang at Robot Chicken for a few years, I expected nothing less than a mind-blowing experience at the Robot Chicken

Ryan Weber – Ra

diantphotograph

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Roller Skate Party Tour. Their tour kicked off at the San Diego Comic Con with a third stop in Las Vegas Brian J. Macke

during RollerCon. Pre-party, I went to the Robot Chicken panel and challenged any of the crew to a Nerd Rage hipcheck.

Seth Green took up the challenge. Once we arrived, however, he declined... thankfully for my criminal record and his safety. I can pack a nerdy whallop!

At the San Diego party, I met many a friend including

Marcus T. Carca

ss

the San Diego Derby Dolls, a few Renegade gals and some Star Wars peeps including Ahmed Best (whom I told I would not reveal as Jar Jar). Highlights included Matt Senreich asking how to stop in quad rentals and a rollergirl conga line behind the Robot Chicken mascot Brian J. Macke

– that footage made it to an [adult swim] commercial!

However, the Las Vegas party I attended was probably the party to be at. Gym Class Heroes performed a live show. I did my rad Michael Jackson

Ryan Weber – Ra

diantphotograph

y.com

“Beat It” moonwalking and dance grooves, and like the Pied Piper of Hamilton, I taught the local rink rats how to do the Bloodhound Gang “Bad Touch” dance craze. It all brought back memories of my own childhood as a rink rat.

At RollerCon, I gathered a box of rollergirl survival swag for the gang at Robot Chicken donated by Brian J. Macke

rollergirls from all over as well as many of the generous vendors at RollerCon's Vendor Village.

Ryan Weber – Ra

diantphotograph

y.com

Wickedskatewear.com made two lovely Team Star Wars shirts for “Seth Mean 1138” and “Splatt Senreich IG-88.” B-Train, StrychNine and myself got the chance to present the box and shirts onstage to the Robot Chicken gang. The crowd loved it, especially when we presented a pair of airbrushed pink panties to Breckin Meyer that said “Robot Chicken=Love,” which he donned after loud cheering from the crowd.

This footage can be seen on adultswimpresents.com.

On that website you can also see footage of our very own Quadzilla doing some tricky skate moves, taken by Seth Green.

As you can imagine, my vacation ended up being a memory that won’t soon be forgotten, ‘less a hit to the head in derby. Knock on wood, that doesn’t happen.

Brian J. Macke

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 39

40 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

feature

what does it take to be a derby champion?

In short – I have no idea.

Obviously, there’s no simple formula for winning regional and national tournaments. And there are fewer and fewer “tactical secrets” between teams on the track, especially as the derby community stays fluid and communicative, and as opportunities to observe high-level derby continue to multiply.

So, can I answer what it takes to be a derby champion? Nope. But I do know what it’s like to be a good teammate on a super supportive, hard working, and talented team – and that translates into tournament wins. superstars can’t do it alone There are some menacing skaters around here. Have you looked at my teammates? Imagine being beaten up by them at every single practice. It’s rough! I’m a middle-of-the-road player on a team with major talents of the sport. But I wouldn’t say I am “lucky” to be with them on GGRD – I work my ass off and it pays off but I am lucky to have such great teammates who don’t think of themselves as any more than that – teammates.

I can’t jam like Bonnie. I can’t give anyone a “Slay Ride.” I can’t chase down a jammer at the top of the pack like Kandy Kakes. I can’t hold a jammer back for five laps like Fisti Cuffs. But the beauty of all our so-called “superstars” is that they are team players – none think of themselves as superstars. They understand that no one can win this 42 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

game on their own, and that’s the beauty of derby. You can’t do it alone – and you don’t have to. Our teamwork is why I love being on Gotham’s All-Stars, no matter where we are ranked or which trophies come our way in ‘09 and beyond.

Here are some mental strategies which help me when I’m lost or freaking out, both on and off the track: Put your focus on your teammates.

It’s very, very subtle, but never think, “What can I do to win this game for my team?” Instead, change your thinking to, “What do my teammates need?” The slight change of perspective makes a world of difference.

Note that it’s different question from: “What can I do to help my teammates?”

That question still puts the focus on you and your own strengths. Identify your teammates’ needs and put them first, whether it’s vocal support, the corner of your hip, or a clear entryway into the pack. You will always have a focus – find them, listen to them, bond with them.

Learn how they need to be supported before trying to swoop in and save them.

You’ll be surprised how quickly your packs will develop into tight, strong, recycle-happy, intuitive derby machines. be afraid, be very afraid I’m always scared. Approach every bout, drill, or scrimmage as a learning experience and come away from it looking at what to fix next time. Whether we beat a team by 200 points or we get our butts handed to us (yes, it’s

KerryMcClain.com

G I N G E R S N A P, G OT H A M G I R L S R O L L E R D E R B Y

happened!), we always ask what we can learn from each bout, each period, each jam. There’s always something new you’re going to have to do for the next opponent. If you don’t learn from every jam, you’ve missed an opportunity to grow. Revisiting that analysis as a team feeds the longevity of your winning streak. Stop growing, and some newbie league is going to come out of the woodwork and smack you on your butt. take responsibility for your own growth If you are bored at practice, it’s your fault. Have you done that crossover drill 100 times and you want to strangle your coach? Get over yourself and figure out a way to make it harder on your own.

Lower, faster, slower, in the opposite direction, with one eye closed... if you are feeling unchallenged, you aren’t trying hard enough. Your coach and your teammates are supposed to be challenging you, but on your own you can push it one step further. Lead by example and the rest will follow. If you think you are “too good” to put your all into any drill, you are a douchebag, plain and simple. There’s always room to challenge yourself. make every practice worth it It takes me 45 minutes, two subway trains, and a long walk through the projects to get to our practice space.

KerryMcClain.com

I know a lot of you have similar commutes. You got your ass to practice – make it worth it. Take a deep breath, leave your crappy day at the door, put on your skates and make every minute of that practice count. Come tournament time, you’re gonna need it. approach each drill like it’s a real game The only way to prepare myself for crazy amplified chaos of a game is to always pretend I’m in a game. I try to keep in

stop supporting my position in the pack to go be fancy, it not only makes you look bad, it makes me look bad because now I can’t hold that girl by myself. Life in the pack is an elementary school field trip – stick together and you’ll never be lost. only try to control what you can control You can’t control the refs. You can’t control the other team. You can’t control the fact that one girl keeps putting her elbow in

mind the game application of every drill while executing it.

your gut. You can control how you deal with these situations.

When called out for a penalty, you can race your ass to the box

Pretend real points are at stake. In a hitting paceline, don’t give up between hits as you lazily skate up to the next girl.

and ignore the refs. When a jammer gets by you, you can race to the top to help a teammate pull her back in. Look to your

Hit, sprint, hit, sprint... and when you get to the top, get low

teammates for what they need, and you’ll forget about those buzzing sounds and pokes from the other team. They’re just traffic cones that you push around – your teammates are the players out there who count.

as if you are booty blocking the whole pack. You’ll be more prepared when it really counts. approach each jam from scratch – don’t re-create If I’m trying to “do exactly the same thing as I did before,”

talk less, skate more

then I’m not in the moment – I’m living in that previous jam, trying to remember what I did. That’s when I get caught in

twice as much as you talk (plus, you have eight wheels!).

a momentum-crushing downward spiral. With each jam, go back and build your success from the first whistle again.

While I don’t know what on-the-track strategies will turn your team into the next champions, I do have the best

don’t be a rockstar

teammates ever. They make me look good and hopefully I do the same for them. Sounds cheesy and fruity? It’s actually a ton

You have teammates – use them. Leaving a solid partner wall to go attempt some spectacular hit (which often whiffs and takes you out of play) is highly jerkass. As my teammate, if you

You have two ears and one mouth – you should be listening

of hard, constant work. But trust me, it makes the beer all that much sweeter at the afterparty. fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 43

international

god save the derby queen BA N E - A N A . C H A R M C I T Y R O L L E R G I R L S

naked with the girls), would be needed to house the size of the

“Bollocks!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as I sat on the Tube, riding from London’s Heathrow Airport to Earl’s Court, where Roll

European talent pool. Earl’s Court fit the bill. Thanks to astute

Britannia, Europe’s first roller derby tournament, would commence.

negotiations by Seattle native, Misha Naccomplished, the London Rollergirls acquired the venue at a cheaper price than it is normally

“Just practicing,” I assured my bewildered fellow passengers,

rented out for, though the final contracts were signed only a week

as they stared cockeyed at me.

before the event. The sheer size of the Court and concrete floors

“Bloody Americans..,” a woman mumbled as she returned to her “Swine Flu” and “Michael Jackson” splotched newspaper.

created such an enormous echo chamber that if Pavarotti had

A man in his early thirties approached me.

shown up to sing there, he would have drooled over the boom of

“You mad?” he asked.

the acoustics. However, with two separate bouts erupting on two

“No, I’m a banana.” He pulled his bobby badge out from under

separate tracks at the same time during the Roll Britannia stretch, LRG head ref, Ballistic Whistle, worried about just how cannonade

his shirt. “‘Splain,” he said.

the refs’ whistles would sound, and the possibility of whistle

“I’m here for Roll Britannia, sir.”

interference during league play. To combat this, he enlisted two

“Roll... ?”

distinct tonal whistles, each pitch designated to either of the two

“Dubbed ‘Roll Britannia’ by London Rollergirl (LRG) skater, Raw

tracks. His decisive strategy worked, and to this writer’s knowledge

Heidi, as a play off the 18th century James Thomson poem (and

there were no whistle mix-ups between the two black and yellow

later song) ‘Rule Britannia,’ the event will be the first gathering of

caution-taped tracks throughout the weekend.

Despite Germany’s Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz technically

Europe’s roller derby leagues. However, this weekend, the leagues will only hail from one of three countries: Scotland, Germany, and,

forming three months before LRG according to Bêtte Noir, the latter

of course, England. Several other leagues are forming outside the

is referred to as the “big sister” league of Europe, and Roll

trifecta, like in Switzerland and Whales, but they are still sorting

Britannia was their brainchild. Roll Britannia’s raison d’être

out the bolloc... hardships that come with starting up a roller derby

engendered more than my Tube confession to the bobby. The

league. And although France has a widespread roller skating

event wasn’t just about roller skating, but about roller derby,

culture, rumor has it that when they heard Americans were

which rolls over four turns of cooperation, teamwork, patience,

teaming up with LRG to bring the best in modern female

and the indomitable spirit of our now worldwide revolution on

bloodsport to England, Parlement Français enacted the Sarkozy

wheels – beyond the skating itself. Misha Naccomplished said

Doctrine: Preemptive Retreat.”

that since most of the European leagues were still in their infancy phases – some having never bouted at all – LRG wanted to “give

Due to London’s disorderly conduct laws – laws that would place 90% of Manhattan under arrest if ratified here – the

these new leagues a chance to bout... and start a European

appropriately named London Rollergirls ref, Duncan Disorderly,

derby community.”

explained to me later that day that I could have fallen into legal trouble for my Tube outburst. Alas, luck shined its fortunes upon me that day; the bobby didn’t push the matter much further, and left me off with a warning. Not surprisingly, he almost seemed intrigued by the idea of roller derby. Hell, how could he not be?

An event of such magnitude required the keen planning and dedication of Bêtte Noir, Silky Briefs, Dr. Feral, Missyle Elliott, and Britannia spectacular. Due to their success, a bigger venue than the old gym that they usually bout at (where a streaker once notoriously jumped onto the track during a jam and ran around 44 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

Mitesh Tailor / clarity-rebirth.co.uk

Slice Andice, who worked strenuously for a year to make Roll

Mitesh Tailor / clarity-rebirth.co.uk

It is undeniable that LRG trekked the long road through the

skater/announcer extraordinaire, Ginger Snap, united with London

uncertainty that the event planning demanded, yet I couldn’t help

announcers Big Cat Merv and Motley Screw, and Auld Reekie’s

but feel that all the leagues made Roll Britannia successful. New

Miss Savage Cat, to pulverize our senses with a play-by-play

derby talent swept over the track like a push broom at half time –

delivery and wit worthy of Windy City Rollers skater/announcer,

from the Berlin Bombshells, whose explosive defense formations

Val Capone, and Charm City’s own Dirty Marty. Derby photographer,

razed whole packs, to Glasgow Scotland’s travel team, the IRN

Axel Adams, and Gotham fresh meat photographer/journalist Black

Bruisers, who never appeared to exhaust their ammo. Indeed,

Dahlia, came to shoot the event and ensure that the girls were cast

just when it seemed like the audience couldn’t withstand any

in the glorious light that they deserved. Even ex-B.ay A.rea D.erby

more firepower, the IRN Bruisers still had .22s tucked in their

skater, Diane Rott, was there, rolling hard for The Berlin

garters – a stamina due in no small part to their “Glasvegas”

Bombshells, and whipping the crowd into a chorus of “oohs”

training session courtesy of Team Awesome skaters, Trish the Dish

and “ahhs” with her hypnotic pace. There was also one last

and Ivanna S. Pankin’. The two Awesomers’ influence shone

American émigré: WFTDA rules 4.0 – despite the fact that none

through the Bruisers’ drive and heart, which won fans’ applause

of the participating leagues enjoy WFTDA status.

as they battled for flat track domination.

Juicy Lucy of Scotland’s other league, Auld Reekie Roller Girls,

So called “derbylove” ran rampant throughout Earl’s Court that weekend. For this writer, it came in many forms, but most notably

jammed like the devil herself was tracking her and trying to tear

in the warm hospitality of Danny and Erin No Braugh, who let

the “666” off the back of her jersey. One of her more formidable

a stranger in a banana costume stay in their house. Zena Phobia,

rivals, Birmingham blocker Bee Sting, battered the Auld Reekie

of Glasgow Roller Girls, summed it up for me when she said Roll

pack, stirring swarms of applause from the audience. But the

Britannia, and derby in general, was “like being in a gang... there

Auld Reekie girls were no easy targets. In fact, Auld Reekie

is a belonging here.” Her teammate, IRN Bruiser blocker Evel Von

struck this writer as a new up-and-comer in the sport. One or two

Detta agreed, and remarked on the “sisterhood,” of roller derby.

Trish and S. Pankin’ training sessions for the Reekie girls, and they

Dolly BustHer of Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz commented that her

could easily become a “Team Auldsome.”

league “consists of girls from all walks of life, and when we

There was also the mix team of Brawlin’ Angels Roller Girls and the Romsey Town Rollerbillies into Team East Angrier, whose skating and style reminded me of a nutty seamstress stitching

combine these things it creates this wonderful community that it is amazing to be a part of.”

Agreed. It is in those spaces between their thoughts and their

The Chicago Outfit, Montreal’s New Skids on the Block, and the

words that I believe we all found ourselves placed – whether by

evanescent queens of RollerCon ‘08, Team Dance Party, into one

trains, planes, or automobiles – at Earl’s Court that weekend: to

prototypical quilt. As for the rest of Britain’s leagues – The London

show love and support for the greatest sport on eight wheels.

Rockin’ Rollers, Leeds Roller Derby, Central City Rollergirls, Rainy

This new development of European roller derby didn’t go

City Roller Girls, the mix team Royal Rebel Rollers, and the LRG

unnoticed by the general public. On Sunday, the last day of an

themselves – let’s just say that if the Red Coats had employed

extraordinary weekend, a man tapped me on my shoulder. It was

these girls’ instincts, speed, strength, and grit among their infantry

the bobby from the Tube ride. After our encounter three days prior

two centuries ago, we Americans would be speaking with an

he had decided to see for himself what all the hubbub was about.

English accent today.

He was having a great time, and asked me a jillion questions about

But Roll Britannia wasn’t about that old revolution; it was about our new one as evidenced by the Americans who came to support

roller derby (you all know what I’m talking about!) that I answered with a smile.

the event. Gotham refs Johnny Zebra (pronounced “Zebra” with

“Sa’ foin sport,” he said between sips of beer.

the short “e” all weekend) and Hambone joined Philly Roller Girls’

We’re growing...

Miss Trial, to keep our European sisters in line. Gotham Girls’ own

Roll on. fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 45

have derby, will travel

tournament survival strategy guide H U RT R E Y N O L D S , D E R B Y N E W S N E T WO R K . C O M

This year’s WFTDA tournament schedule provides an unprecedented challenge to the hardcore derby community, with four consecutive three-day regional tournament weekends starting the second weekend of September. We offer these tips to help you maximize your fun and minimize your pain, whether you’re in for just one event or all of The Big Five. pretournament Before you arrive, do your homework! Figure out where all the key locations are (venue, after party, hotel, gas stations, restaurants, grocery store, drug store, liquor store, hospital, etc.). You can use Google Maps or a similar site to plot out your routes, and even print out directions between various locations for bonus prep points. where to stay There are three basic schools of thought on hotel choice.

• Official tourney hotel: This is your best bet if you want to maximize your networking opportunities, as the place will be just soaking in derby, but it might not be the most economical option. Check the event website to determine where this is.

• Hotel near the event venue: This one’s kind of a rookie move. You may think you’re saving yourself time in the morning, but in practice, you’re probably either going to end up traveling far afield searching for food, or starving yourself in the morning – bad move either way. Where you’d rather stay is at a...

• Hotel near the main after party location: Now we’re

46 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

talking. Walking distance is the Holy Grail, removing the requirement for a cab or a designated driver. You may have more of a drive to the venue in the morning, but that just increases the likelihood that you can get a real breakfast on the way in. If after parties aren’t on your agenda, this won’t be so attractive.

Of course, if you can score derby housing, that’s always your best bet. If you haven’t yet made friends amongst the host league, make a point of doing so while you’re there! getting there Choosing your mode of travel means balancing distance, time, and cost. If you’re more than a few hundred miles from the event location, flying in may be the only viable option. At close distances, driving becomes the obvious choice. At medium distances, be sure that you’re figuring local transportation into your equation – taking cabs or renting a car needs to be budgeted, while attempting to rely on local transit will cost you time (if it’s even viable at all).

If you do fly, you may be tempted to return home late Sunday night or very early Monday morning in order to salvage at least a partial day’s work on Monday. Don’t fool yourself.

Tournament weekends are exhausting, and even if you get home, you will be totally worthless to your employer. Allow yourself a full day for return travel and recuperation before you try to get back to your regular rhythm. getting around Rent a car: I’m pretty sure I’ve said it in every single installment of this series, and I’m saying it again: renting a car can be remarkably cheap! At press time, intermediate sized rental cars can be had for Thursday through Monday during any of these events for under $200. Split among two or more people, that’s gonna be cheaper than cab fare, even including gas. If you’re flying in, seriously consider this option for local transportation.

Check with your auto insurance company to see if you’re covered on rental cars – the rental company will definitely try to push up their take by talking you into supplemental insurance you may not need. Some credit cards also automatically provide insurance when you use them to rent cars, so check that out too.

Parking: Many of this year’s tournament venues do not have onsite parking. You’ll definitely want to figure out your parking options in advance, and budget for them if necessary.

Public transportation: Outside of Nationals, you probably don’t want to rely on buses and trains to get you around, particularly at the late evening hours when the tournaments let out and the after parties begin. Even in Philly, be prepared for a hefty dose of Brotherly Love when traveling by transit.

Taxis: Get phone numbers for local cab companies before you leave. Even if you’re driving or renting a car, take this precaution – on the off chance that your car breaks down late at night, or the slightly more likely chance that you overindulge at the after party, or the after after party, or the after after after party, or, you get the picture. Nobody likes trying to track down a cab number at stupid o’clock in the morning in an unfamiliar neighborhood in an unfamiliar city. staying healthy Nothing sucks like budgeting time and money to spend a long weekend watching top-level roller derby, only to catch the crud on the first day and be miserable for the later rounds of the tournament. With so many people gathering from so many widespread locations, tournaments become a cornucopia of opportunity for head colds – and worse.

To keep healthy during and after the weekend, follow a few guidelines: • Don’t share water bottles. Or any beverage, for that matter.

• Speaking of water bottles, bring an empty one, and stay hydrated.

• Don’t forget electrolytes – water can’t help you if your body doesn’t have the salts to process it with!

• Feed yourself (more below).

• Preemptively dose up on vitamins, Emergen-C, zinc, bee pollen, chicken feet, eye of newt... whatever your preferred folk remedy.

• Get some freakin’ sleep! OK, true, that might be kind of a tall order. staying fed One of the most-overlooked keys to tournament success for skaters, support crew, and spectators alike, is one of Maslow’s first-tier needs: food. Don’t fall into the “oh, there’ll be food at the venue” trap – while true on the surface, often the food options will be limited, not very economical, not necessarily nutritious, and time-consuming to get to. In practice, you may find yourself skipping breakfast rather than invest 20 minutes in line at the start of an exciting day.

Instead, plan to get a good meal in before you arrive. Note:

a bagel and a cup of coffee in the hotel lobby does not comprise a good meal. Hit a grocery store the night before to stock up on real food for breakfast, or leave yourself enough time in the morning to get a restaurant meal before you get to the venue. You did scout out grocery stores and restaurants before you left home, right?

Most venues do not permit outside food, so midday, you probably won’t have much choice other than to get food at the venue. Sometimes this will be pretty good, though generally not something you’d want to live on for days. If you do try to leave the venue for lunch, check to be sure that you’ll be allowed back in. Special dietary needs? If they’re medical, bring a doctor’s note along with your food so they don’t stop you at the door. If they’re ethical, plan your stash strategy carefully – don’t count on vegan food at the venue.

When the track action winds down for the night, again make sure you’ve got a plan to feed yourself. This is doubly true if you’re planning to enjoy the bar at the after party, where your empty stomach will ensure your early demise.

Always take “there will be food at the after party” with a gigantic grain of salt – maybe it means Chipotle (yay!) or a giant stack of pizzas (good enough), but it could also mean a hot dog bar or chips and salsa. Unless you’ve heard a detailed, reliable accounting of exactly what will be offered, rely only upon yourself for adequate evening sustenance. other preparation Once you’re on site, remember that you’ll likely be there for upwards of 12 straight hours! Make sure you’ve brought everything you might need, because realistically, once you arrive, you’re just not going to leave to run errands.

Perennial favorites on the “damn, I wish I’d brought that” list: • Cough drops. You’re going to be cheering and yelling and screaming, a lot. For three days.

• Ibuprofen. You’re going to be surrounded by people who are cheering and yelling and screaming, a lot. For three days.

• Lip balm. For those after party make-out sessions. Err, or because you’ll be cheering and yelling and screaming, a lot.

For three days.

• Feminine hygiene products – don’t count on dispensers in the venue restrooms.

Speaking of which, put some thought into your restroom strategy during the day. Most venues don’t really have adequate facilities to keep up with a halftime or pre-game rush, particularly for women. Think about skipping out a couple minutes before halftime to avoid the worst of the lines.

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 47

have derby, will travel

Wicked Wheels of the East WFTDA Eastern Regional Tournament – wickedwheelsoftheeast.com Raleigh, NC, September 11-13 hosted by Carolina Rollergirls Dorton Arena, NC State Fairgrounds Onsite parking: Yes. Acres and acres of it. It’s a lot like a state fairgrounds.

The Venue: Dorton Arena’s double-ellipse structure cuts a striking silhouette. Ample trackside seating, cheap food and beer, great sightlines, and sunlight streaming through vast windowed walls all add up to a unique derby environment for both skaters and spectators alike.

Dorton Arena isn’t climate-controlled, which can be kind of a drag in mid-summer, but shouldn’t be a big deal in September.

Still, dress flexibly... light layers are best.

Special Considerations: At the after party, you may be handed a Mason jar with a clear liquid inside. Proceed with caution.

Brawl of America WFTDA North Central Regional Tournament – brawlofamerica.com St. Paul, MN, September 18-20 hosted by Minnesota RollerGirls The Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium, 175 Kellogg Blvd W Onsite parking: None. Visit smart-trips.org to plan your parking strategy and budget.

The Venue: The Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium is considered by many to be the best venue in the world for modern roller derby. Capacious yet intimate, with excellent production values, you’re in for a treat if you’re able to spend three full days in this stellar 1932 theater.

Want trackside seats? They’re not reserved, so get there early!

Special Considerations: You just might be able to get by without a car here. Hotels are located within a few blocks of The Roy, with most after party locations not much further or served by shuttles. Sunday’s after party is the exception, but if you budget cab fare for that night (and possibly to and from the airport), you can do this one car-less.

Southern Fried Smackdown WFTDA South Central Regional Tournament – southernfriedsmackdown.com Atlanta, GA, September 25-27 hosted by Atlanta Rollergirls Yaarab Shrine Temple, 400 Ponce De Leon Ave NE Onsite parking: Yes The Venue: It’s a Shrine Temple. What else do you need to know? Good times.

Special Considerations: Yaarab Shrine Temple is a BYOB venue. While no alcohol is sold on site, you’re welcome to bring your own, but only in cans or plastic containers – no glass bottles!

You’ll find beer and wine at grocery stores, but you’ll need to find a dedicated liquor store for hard alcohol. Liquor sales are prohibited on Sunday (except in restaurants or bars), so plan ahead.

48 | Fall 2009 | fiveonfivemag.com

Derby on the Rocks WFTDA Western Regional Tournament – derbyontherocks.com Denver, CO, October 2-4 co-hosted by Denver Roller Dolls and Rocky Mountain Rollergirls Bladium Sports Club, 2400 Central Park Blvd Onsite parking: Some, and free street parking in the neighborhood.

The Venue: Keen observers will notice that the Bladium is a former airplane hangar, which may seem odd considering there’s nary a runway to be found. If you keep your eyes open, you may catch a glimpse of the mothballed air traffic control tower that once served Stapleton International Airport, Denver’s main airport until 1995. Stapleton’s grounds have been thoroughly redeveloped into residential and commercial space in the intervening 14 years, and remarkably few signs remain of the neighborhood’s history.

Special Considerations: Alone among the tournament venues, the Bladium features a permanently installed sport court style flooring.

While this provides a good, consistent skating surface, previous tournament experience suggests a correlation between permanent sport court and “The Derby Plague,” a lingering respiratory crud that sometimes presents at first with flu symptoms, but generally turns into hacky-sneezy blah that just hangs on for two or three weeks. Pay special attention to the previous tips on staying healthy.

Denver is indeed a mile high, with relatively thin air that can become a factor for the competitors on the track – as well as the competitors at the after party. Drinkers from lower elevations take heed: high altitude makes you an instant lightweight!

Declaration of Derby WFTDA National Championship Tournament – declarationofderby.com Philadelphia, PA, November 13-15 hosted by Philly Roller Girls PA Convention Center, 1101 Arch St Onsite parking: None. Visit the venue website for a list of nearby pay lots.

The Venue: PA Convention Center is, well, a convention center. Thoroughly modern, good amenities, comfortable and easy. Expect onsite food to be more expensive than you’re really interested in paying, but you’re downtown in a real city – there’s no shortage of good, reasonably priced food available within walking distance.

Special considerations: Giants may fall. If you can attend only one derby event in a year, it has to be the WFTDA National Championship Tournament. At press time, at least half a dozen teams can be considered serious contenders for the title, and as Kansas City’s 2007 performance demonstrated, anyone may surprise you when all the chips are down.

If there’s any one event where you might seriously be best off leaving the car at home, this is it. You can easily get from airport or train station to the venue via SEPTA regional rail (visit septa.org), and parking rates are such that the readily available taxis may be more economical.

You cannot leave Philadelphia until you’ve had a real cheesesteak. Pat’s or Geno’s? Fuggedaboutit... go to Jim’s. Not just better, but also within a few blocks of the venue. You’re welcome.

What’s in a Name?

"Have Derby, Will Travel" appeared on the scene in October 2006, first as a website and blog to document Hurt Reynold's 2007 national derby tour. The original site can still be viewed at 2007.havederbywilltravel.com, and represents a bit of a snapshot in the evolution of modern roller derby.

When fiveonfive magazine launched in 2008, HDWT morphed into a travel column, offering up tips on making the most of your derby travel experiences. This article marks the fifth installment in that series.

Now in 2009, "Have Derby, Will Travel" begins its third incarnation, as a consultancy offering full league services to help solve common problems in cases where the communities many free resources just haven't proven adequate.

Visit havederbywilltravel.com for full details. fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 49

art and media

cameras roll on the set of “Whip It” A G E N T A U TO M AT I C , D E T R O I T D E R B Y G I R L S

When I heard that a roller derby movie was being filmed in the Motor City, I jumped at the opportunity to be involved. For many of the Detroit Derby Girls and their volunteers, this seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity to be part of the roller derby legacy. In many ways “Whip It” is a confirmation of how far derby has come from obscurity to a legitimate sport played by dedicated athletes with a penchant for skates and violence.

So, how did this film crew end up in Detroit? Much like Los Angeles, Detroit is a city built on the intersection of entertainment and heavy industry. Until recently, LA was the established capital for movies and Detroit has been renowned for its musical heritage, at least since Berry Gordy started Motown Records in 1959. However, Michigan’s 2008 film incentive package gave the movie industry enormous tax breaks to move in and begin filming. The idea was to bring some of the film industry’s billions to Michigan and the result has been that many big budget pictures are being filmed all over the Detroit area. This has lured a large number of “A list” celebrities to the Motor City, such as Clint Eastwood, who said that “Michigan will be the next film capital of the world.” Another director drawn to the area was Drew Barrymore with her directorial debut “Whip It.” “Whip It” tells the tale of a young woman who dreams of being a roller derby player as a means to escape her drab life and forced beauty pageants in rural Texas. Both “Derby Girl” (2007) and the film “Whip It” were written by native Texan Shauna Cross, who, aside from being a screen writer and novelist, also plays for the Los Angeles Derby Dolls under the name Maggie Mayhem. Together the book and film are expressions of the growing popularity of roller derby both across the country and around the world.

Ellen Page (of “Juno” and “Hard Candy”) plays the lead role as Bliss Cavendar. In addition to directing, Barrymore portrays her derby mentor, Smashley Simpson. Juliette Lewis is the story’s antagonist, with Detroit’s own Racer McChaseher as her sidekick. The star studded cast is rounded out by Jimmy Fallon, Eve, Marcia Gay Harden and stunt woman Zoe Bell in supporting roles.

I hasten to mention Zoe Bell’s ambitious performance and willingness to take on her own stunts. Throughout the shoot Bell embodied the flair and enthusiasm which hardcore derby fans have come to expect from the sport. On a similar note, Jimmy Fallon, more than any of the other stars, worked hard to talk with the extras and keep them entertained during lengthy periods of downtime on set. He would tell jokes and shake hands with them and would even go out of his way to sit with the extras during lunch, rather than eating his meals cloistered away in a luxury trailer.

An added incentive to film the roller derby portions of “Whip It” here in Southeastern Michigan came from The Detroit Derby Girls’ national reputation. Rock Candy, Tinja and

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Whiskey Soured were among the many DDG skaters featured in the film. Other Derby girls were brought in from around the country, including Los Angeles’ own Krissy Krash and the lovely Sydney Bennett who has found a bit of a niche in playing roller derby characters (she played a derby girl on the TV show Psyche last year).

Also appearing in the film was Chloe Trueheart (aka Sacralicious) of the TXRD Holy Rollers along with Dot Matrix and Jackie Daniels of the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls.

The bulk of the Detroit shoot took place in an old steel-processing mill which was referred to on set as “The Warehouse” in order to remain in keeping with the novel. Humidity reached nearly 100% at times, so the location captured the searing intensity of roller derby in the summer time. The producers imported a banked track to keep the action authentic to TXRD. Many of the action shots were done with the aid of a four-wheeler which rolled just in front of the girls in order to catch the high-speed coverage of the film’s various jams.

In addition, they used up to three cameras as well as boom shots to capture stunts from as many angles as possible.

Hundreds of extras were used throughout the weeks of shooting in Detroit. Many of the Detroit Derby Girls who didn’t have featured roles in the film were hired as extras (such as the Devil’s Night Dames’ Lady MacDeath). Also, a fair number of volunteers from the DDG found themselves in onscreen or in advisory rolls. For example, Nacho Daddy is a Detroit referee who portrayed a ref in the film and Detroit’s Big Pappa Razzi gave advice to Jimmy Fallon concerning his experiences as a derby announcer.

In addition to having hundreds of extras participate in the film, the producers employed legions of inflatable “fans” installed in the bleachers in order to further gave the impression of a large audience.

There would be a smattering of living extras interspersed with the blow-up fans which gave the impression a packed house of derby fans as the cameras went by.

Aside from Detroit, other portions of the film were completed in Ypsilanti, Michigan and also in Texas. It is interesting that at a time when so many factories and mills are closing in the Detroit area, that the one place where a good number of Detroiters could find work was in a semi-abandoned mill, pretending to be sports fans. In fact, after music and cars, Detroit is probably best known as a sports town. Although many of the extras had never seen a derby game, they were fascinated by the concept and execution of the sport.

With the Detroit Derby Girls having sold out all of their home games in the past year, they’re hoping for continued success in season five, which begins shortly after the release of the “Whip It.”

art and media

Hard Knocks: Rolling with the Derby Girls

Houston-based photographer Shelley Calton vividly depicts the tempo and emotions of the game, exploring how the players’ self image demands both a typically masculine attitude and the female erotic showcasing of their own bodies. artist statement: When I initially immersed myself into the world of roller derby, I believed it was only about the grass roots revival of a women’s contact team sport. I soon discovered that derby is really about empowered women breaking barriers and creating new boundaries.

I developed a great deal of respect for these women, as well as envy, and I wished I had the courage to skate with them. Without getting paid and constantly running the risk of serious injury, these women transform themselves from moms, teachers, and business women into competitive athletes. The derby names they give themselves reveal a bit about them individually i.e., “Tawdry Hepburn” and “Patsy Crime.” Through my photographs, I endeavor to capture the femininity, diversity, spirit, and strength of the women of roller derby.

The book is now on sales through various online book stores, including Amazon. The retail price is $38.00.

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Check out Whiskey7’s featured derby art – hand picked from across the derby community!

January 2009 L.A. Derby Dolls artist: Jordon Crane reddingk.com/prints.html

May 2009 Delia Death illustration Kansas City Roller Warriors aritst: Krysztof Nemeth charm-school.com

December 2007 Minnesota Rollergirls artist: Allan Peters allanpeters.com

August 2009 Rat City Rollergirls artist: Eric DePalo www.ericdepalo.com

celebrity audience!

Chris Chin

Bruce Willis and his wife, Emma Heming, attended a Gotham Girls’ bout (Bronx Gridlock vs. Brooklyn Bombshells) in July.

They slipped out early and on the way out, Bruce told the Gotham Girls working the merch booth that he “had a ball.”

fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 53

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Wanted, gently used Sport Court. If you have one or know where I can find one please contact Swerve@cajunrollergirls.com.

FOR SALE Submit details to get those gently used but no longer being abused skates out of your hair!

CHECK THIS OUT! If you play derby and want to get the word out about something awesome, send your text our way (it’s free)!

Mama Does Derby is your place to shop for inexpensive, unique, authentic roller derby gear made by a derby girl! Buttons, jewelry, shirts, and more – check out mamadoesderby.com and on myspace at myspace.com/mamadoesderby. Looking for merch for your league?

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fiveonfivemag.com | Fall 2009 | 55

ASSOCIATION (WFTDA) THE WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK DERBY VOLUME 1, ISSUE 1, FALL 2008 THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF

ASSOCIATION (WFTDA) THE WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK DERBY VOLUME 2, ISSUE 1, SPRING 2009 THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF

ASSOCIATION (WFTDA) THE WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK DERBY ISSUE 4, SUMMER 2009 THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF

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Each issue is loaded with information to help leagues across the world

improve their game, build their business, and keep up to date with the latest in flat track roller derby!

ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTION $17.99 for WFTDA league members • $25.99 for non-WFTDA league members

subscriptions and back issues available at

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horoscopes P R OV I D E D B Y Y O U R D E R B Y P S Y C H I C , L U S C I O U S S M A C K S O M E

VIRGO

PISCES

August 23-September 22

February 20-March 20

A teammate’s problems bring out your nurturing nature in full force. However, don’t go at it alone.

Allow others to pitch in and help share the responsibilities you’ve assumed. Work as a team on this.

Use the information you have just obtained to fine tune your strategy. Expect some tough competition though, and watch for the opposing team to resort to dirty play.

Your team will prevail if you don’t let that rattle you.

ARIES LIBRA

March 21-April 19

September 23-October 23

An unexpected development could change your perspective on the game. Keep an open mind and fire in your heart! Ignore unimportant chatter and focus on your strategy.

The announcement you have wanted to share might need to be put off until a teammates’ personal matter is resolved. Use this time to work on your endurance and goals. Be patient. Your time is coming.

TA U R U S SCORPIO October 24-November 22

You appear to have hit a plateau because of your lack of enthusiasm lately. Now is the time to push yourself to the next level. Both you and your team will see the difference in your game play!

S A G I T TA R I U S November 23-December 21

A promotion could cause resentment among envious teammates. But others recognize how hard you have been working on the track and know that you earned it, and they will be there to support you when you need them.

CAPRICORN December 22-January 19

Handling a jealous teammate’s criticism needs both your patience and your understanding. Expect some backlash, but stay with it. The outcome will more than justify your efforts and improve your relationship with your team.

AQUARIUS January 20-February 19

Resist the temptation to take it easy at practice just because you have had a long day. It’s best to push ahead stride by stride so you don’t lose focus as well as the respect of your teammates.

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April 20-May 20

A surge of mid-month energy helps you keep your commitment to your team who rely on you for guidance. Ignore any attempts to get you to ease up on your practice routine. Keep pushing yourself!

GEMINI May 21-June 20

Family continues to be the dominant factor in your life, but derby matters also take on new importance. You might even be able to combine elements of the two in some surprising, productive way. Find some balance.

CANCER June 21-July 22

A realistic view of your game play helps you deal more constructively with your teammates suggestions and criticism. Remember that you are part of a team and that you can all benefit from staying open and honest with one another.

LEO July 23-August 22

As much as roller derby may intrigue you, be careful that you don’t allow the glare and attention to distract you from the art of the game. Focus on your strategy and basic skating skills. The accolades will follow.

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